S09.E09: The Longest Labor

[Galloway Cave]

Quote

Meri takes Kody to check out the bed-and-breakfast she wants to buy; Janelle's daughter, Maddie, goes into labor and does a home birth with no epidural; the Browns eagerly await their first grandchild.

Can't wait to see Maddie give birth in the most cluttered bathroom seen this side of a Hoarders episode (including a bag of Milk Bones). [snark emoji]

[xwordfanatik]

I DVR and watch in the a.m.  

Look forward to snarking.  Is this the final episode, does anyone know?

[Kohola3]

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

Is this the final episode, does anyone know?

According to my online TV Guide, there is one more next Sunday. 

Spoiler

Even as the wives bask in the glow of their first grandchild, tensions emerge; Meri finds out that all the wives were at the birth, except her; intense therapy sessions fail to resolve the hurt, so Christine confronts Meri with some brutal truths.

[Galloway Cave]

Thanks @Kohola3! That will make starting the topic next week much easier for me!

[Brutus Buckeye]

I can't believe that I am about to watch a TV show about a gal giving birth. 

What is wrong with me? 

[Kyanight]

3 minutes ago, Brutus Buckeye said:

I can't believe that I am about to watch a TV show about a gal giving birth. 

What is wrong with me? 

Hopefully there will be other scenes and not just Maddie shrieking for an hour or two.  How long is this episode?

[VioletNevermind]

Sweet Jesus.  Please let this be the last time I have to listen to this girl screaming, “I CAAAAANNNNN’T!!!!!”  I just ca(aaaannnn)n’t do it anymore.  

Edited March 12, 2018 by SuzyLee

[Brutus Buckeye]

Why is he talking to Nate Carlisle? 

Man. If I were a plyg I wouldn't give the Salt Lake Tribune the time of day. 

[Galloway Cave]

Kody with his off-the-cuff train of thought shouldn't talk to ANY reporter.

[LucyEth]

Just watching the first 1/2 hour of this, it is even more evident that Kody is just angry with Meri, he has said some mean things already.  

[TurtlePower]

9 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

Just watching the first 1/2 hour of this, it is even more evident that Kody is just angry with Meri, he has said some mean things already.  

AND SHE'S STILL THERE, with the family. Guess they've figured out how to just be "friends". Or co-exist, or whatever they have. 

I just stopped watching. Same 'ol crap with Meri-Go-Round and another birth being filmed. Yawn (of course I'll probably miss something earth-shattering in the end knowing my luck!).

Edited March 12, 2018 by TurtlePower

[Brutus Buckeye]

It's funny they are always badmouthing the FLDS on this show. I get why they want to separate themselves from that, but in SW UT it is just not that big of a deal. They have lived side by side for generations, standing in the same lines and what not. They are like that area's Mennonites. 

[Galloway Cave]

Until recently, Kody, Meri and Janelle owned the Lehi house. All three were on the title. None of them were concerned about big, bad Utah while owning that house. Now they live in Nevada and Kody is bursting blood vessels over owning the B&B. And one more time for the cheap seats, they aren't felons unless they are arrested, convicted and sentenced at the felony level. There is also no guarantee that the property would be seized, either, whether they were residents of Utah or Nevada.

[Kohola3]

10 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

Yawn (of course I'll probably miss something earth-shattering in the end knowing my luck!).

Oh, I seriously doubt that.  Since this happened a year ago and we haven't heard anything earth-shattering by now...

[LucyEth]

Wonder how they worked out the house business.  The do own the place and it is a B&B. Guess Meri's mom is out of the picture.

[toodles]

3 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

Until recently, Kody, Meri and Janelle owned the Lehi house. All three were on the title. None of them were concerned about big, bad Utah while owning that house. Now they live in Nevada and Kody is bursting blood vessels over owning the B&B. And one more time for the cheap seats, they aren't felons unless they are arrested, convicted and sentenced at the felony level. There is also no guarantee that the property would be seized, either, whether they were residents of Utah or Nevada.

Stick a fork in it for god''s sake.  The end with the WE ARE CRIMINALS storyline.  Say it with me-NOBODY CARES.

[TurtlePower]

1 minute ago, Kohola3 said:

Oh, I seriously doubt that.  Since this happened a year ago and we haven't heard anything earth-shattering by now...

Good point, it's been pretty mundane. Could be TLC would like to end on a boring note--lessens the likelihood of another season. 

[Sasha888]

Wow. Meri REALLY does not like everyone knowing that she's not in the wife rotation, does she! ;-P

Guess what Meri - WE ALL KNEW IT ALREADY.

[answerphone]

I like the scenes where Maddie is back to her natural blonde hair!

I just can't see who would choose a home birth. My daughter had unexpected complications an hour after the birth of her baby. I would never count on being 100% safe at home.

[Sasha888]

I hate agreeing with Kody, but there he goes making sense again. "Meri lives in a very large house alone. Now she's saying to her mother, you can live in this other very large house alone. Asking the family to get this house for her mother to live alone in, just like Meri lives in a house that's too big for her...there's a disconnect there. Why isn't it obvious to them?"

Um...yeah, Kody, I have to agree with you there. It should be obvious to Meri that she already lives in a huge home alone and now wants a second home. 

The thing is though, Kody KNOWS the answer to his question...why isn't it obvious to Meri that this is way too much to ask for? Because Meri doesn't give a RAT'S ASS about anyone but HERSELF.

[answerphone]

Meri's ancestral home in Utah is her desire, only. No one else in the family wants it. 

A home is a huge financial purchase. I just don't understand how she thinks she's entitled to it because she wants it.

I'm older than Mary and there have been many things I've 'wanted', but was unable to purchase. And I work full time, also.

Meri is quite a demanding, unrealistic dreamer, isn't she?

P.S. The home looks like it's in a run down, unappealing area. After the fame of being on a TV series is over, I doubt many would be interested in spending their vacation time there.

[LisaWl7TR]

Imho The house is "magical"!  =  5 rooms and 5 adults to retire to when the all nests are empty.

Edited March 12, 2018 by LisaWl7TR

[dreadfulLeigh]

59 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

Just watching the first 1/2 hour of this, it is even more evident that Kody is just angry with Meri, he has said some mean things already.  

Seriously, this. To me, he’s basically said bald faced “I don’t care about you. I don’t feel like trying with you. Byeeeeeeh.”

[Galloway Cave]

Holy shit, that whole B&B family discussion just reactivated my migraine. Who's on first? If the purchase is solely Meri's and the mortgage is solely Meri's and the responsibility is solely Meri's, then why even discuss it with the other wives and ask their opinions? The end result was just another opportunity for the other adults to publicly dump on Meri. But Christine does get 10 bonus points for her crack at Kody.

[VioletNevermind]

Caleb really hates Kody.  It’s kind of hilarious to watch. 

[b2H]

65 hours of labor?  An Apprentice Midwife for a first birth?  No, no, no, no.  This kid needs to be in a hospital.  65 hours and only six cm is ridiculous.  Just nuts.  I hope this goes ok, because it is not a good thing.

[Galloway Cave]

No Kody, "people" haven't died in childbirth, WOMEN have died. 

[Chicklet]

Hey I at least gave Kody credit that he even knows women are people. Baby steps.

[b2H]

Get those poor kids out of there.  They will never want to have kids of their own watching this.  Good Lord, how clueless.

[Christi]

26 minutes ago, LisaWl7TR said:

Imho The house is "magical"!  =  5 rooms and 5 adults to retire to when the all nests are empty.

Except that they will all be put in chains for being plygs? in Utah

[dreadfulLeigh]

Maddie is Meri’s assistant for LuLaNo?‍♀️

[LucyEth]

Poor Maddie, I am no Dr. but thinking if this was a hospital birth she would not have gone this long or suffered this much.

[VioletNevermind]

Whew, here comes Mariah trudging in, looking like 10 miles of bad road in those way-too-tight, threadbare jeans.  Lawd.

Edited March 12, 2018 by SuzyLee

[Pollo Loco]

Good god, what was with the spectator crowd?? Literally sitting around on folding chairs watching Madison in labour like it's a side show. Is there a special relationship between Robyn's kids and Madison that I missed as they're still sitting in the bathroom watching all this? Caleb was not impressed with everyone in there but seemed hesitant to say anything due to the polygamy aspect. 

[Chicklet]

I'd slit my throat rather than have my father and all his women watching me give birth. Who wants that?

[Kohola3]

19 minutes ago, b2H said:

An Apprentice Midwife for a first birth?  No, no, no, no.

Boy, these yahoos really like to do things on the cheap.  Some teenager just out of home ec class was hired to make all of the dresses for some goofy event.  Nancy the therapist is batting zero after how many years.  And now this?  Good Lord. They are lucky nothing went wrong.

[LucyEth]

I guess every girl wants her father there while she is giving birth--NOT

[VioletNevermind]

My father would have hurled himself out the nearest window before staying in the delivery room when I had my daughter.  He was out the door and sitting in the waiting room with a fishing magazine and a sudoku puzzle waaaaaaay before the first push.  Not Kody!  He has to not only be in the room, but practically in the birthing tub, giving orders and pulling the baby out with his straggly hair falling over his face.  I cannot stand him.  I’m not a Caleb fan, but I don’t know how he resisted telling Kody to get the fuck out of the way.

Edited March 12, 2018 by SuzyLee

[Kohola3]

43 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

I hate agreeing with Kody, but there he goes making sense again. "Meri lives in a very large house alone. Now she's saying to her mother, you can live in this other very large house alone. Asking the family to get this house for her mother to live alone in, just like Meri lives in a house that's too big for her...there's a disconnect there. Why isn't it obvious to them?"

Well, all of the arguments were apparently just hot air since she bought the place a year ago.  Just a waste of air time.

[Chris Knight]

Meri's face always looks so dirty, yuck. <Shrug>

That house,as someone said , is in the middle of nowhere. Who in the h would go there for vacation ? Victoria must get what, one visitor every few months ? Meri should just take the pictures from the piano and go back home

[Galloway Cave]

2 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

I'd slit my throat rather than have my father and all his women watching me give birth. Who wants that?

And it sounds like he was able to see everything happening, just like Robyn's stepfather. Yuck.

[mjstrick]

I don't know wtf is wrong with me.  I cried.  I felt so scared and sorry for Maddie.  That was excruciating to even watch.  Maybe it's because I have a married daughter who I would love to have a baby.

 

Oh, and who hangs their glasses on the blinds?  

[b2H]

2 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

I guess every girl wants her father there while she is giving birth--NOT

Ya know?  I would question that too.  But here is my thought on it:  as useless as Kodouche is, he has coached several of his children’s birth.  So I think he knows a little about what he was doing there.  Was it sketchy?  Sure, but he probably knew more than the idiot midwife.

[LucyEth]

Scenes for next week look interesting, but again that was a year ago and Meri is still there, so things must have been sorted out.

[cereality]

So Kody was up in his daughter's vag during birth and telling his boy Caleb how to pull the baby out/hold it when it comes out. Nothing effed up about that (sarcasm). I know Maddie always wanted her daddy's attention but it's a rare daughter that wants her daddy focusing on her vag. I was actually glad to see that Meri did NOT insert herself into the birthing room under the auspices -- of well, I AM one of her moms. She knows her relationship with the family is more distant and while I rarely agree with her, I think this time she did the right thing by leaving with Mariah and her girlfriend and then returning AFTER the baby arrived. IDK if Robyn was in there or not - probably bc she mentioned her younger daughters leaving when it got too intense for them to watch -- so I imagine Robyn was in the birthing room with them telling them to leave now.

For all of Caleb's talk at the beginning of -- if anything goes wrong or I'm not comfortable, I'm taking you to the hospital and that's that -- all talk, no action, huh buddy!? Bc your wife labored for like 6 days in an unclean tub and gross bedroom with a STUDENT midwife. At no time did you think -- hmm -- maybe it's dangerous to be in labor for this many days, maybe we go to the hospital and see a real MD?? I'm sure TLC could've filmed you there too so you could've gotten your paycheck that way.

Edited March 12, 2018 by cereality

[Sasha888]

Meri - "I don't really care that I don't have her support" (referring to Christine).

Then why do we have to keep watching you idiots discuss it? Move on to a new story line already, sheesh! We know Meri doesn't give a shit what anyone else thinks. We all know Meri is a spoiled brat and she's going to get that house come hell or high water. You've apparently made it clear that she's not going to get any family money for this, so why is there a family meeting? Meri's going to do whatever the hell Meri feels like doing, just like in every other situation.

Talk about beating a dead horse. We know she bought it - all of this house crap is just a big WHO CARES!

[jacksgirl]

Knew the end result since this show is so behind real life, but Maddy should have been seeing a doctor in a hospital/birthing center. No offense to those who have had home births. That labor was too long in my opinion. Yes, she would have been given pitosson prob, but 3 plus days is a lot. Plus handing that baby around to everyone, hope they all washed their hands (I have now morphed into my mother).

[LucyEth]

4 minutes ago, cereality said:

I was actually glad to see that Meri did NOT insert herself into the birthing room under the auspices -- of well, I AM one of her moms. She knows her relationship with the family is more distant and while I rarely agree with her, I think this time she did the right thing by leaving with Mariah and her girlfriend and then returning AFTER the baby arrived.

Yes, but apparently she is upset that the other wives/Moms were there and she was not.

[Kohola3]

3 minutes ago, jacksgirl said:

That labor was too long in my opinion. Yes, she would have been given pitosson prob, but 3 plus days is a lot.

Sure, Pitocin is always a possibility.  But prolonged labor can be detrimental to the baby - wouldn't you want the best for the health of the child? No, wait, you'd rather get that TLC paycheck for filming this for TV. Wonder if she got a bonus for each body they were able to cram into the bathroom as a spectator.

[ghoulina]

Meri and that fucking house. I'm sick of hearing about it. And I generally have Kody's side in all this, but his dithering is giving her hope. I agreed with him when he said that Meri just wants to present her problem, but offer no solutions. I do think she should figure it out on her own. But then he's all taking about how "magical" and important the house is. I swear, he's just getting excited about the drama of owning a house where he's a "felon". 

 

I'm also over the drama of Maddie's labor. It was not the longest labor ever. She wasn't even in labor that whole time. If you're going to sleep, going about your day...that's not active labor. You can have prodormal labor for several days. I don't really count that. Once you have to stop and work through your contractions, that's legit. 

I blame the moms. They're all like, "this is it!" Yet Caleb, the newbie, immediately recognizes that his wife is too "normal" to really be having the baby. But when you get that false hope, it can be super frustrating that the labor isn't quick. In reality, it seemed like a pretty regular labor. 

I fully support home births. I'm pretty crunchy about that stuff. I had midwives for all my births, but our state doesn't allow midwives to deliver at home. So I had mine at the hospital. But I think it's so cool to just be able to labor in your own home and have everyone be a part of it....

....to the degree that you WANT. I just don't know how much Maddie wanted all those people there. It got a bit much when they pulled up chairs like they were watching a movie. Maddie had originally said she just wanted Caleb and the midwife. Maybe she changed her mind, but women in labor are often too overwhelmed to speak up. I wished Caleb had advocated more for her. 

The worst was Kody...and his "relax your face". I knock his teeth down his throat if he said that to me. I'm not opposed to having your father witness your labor, if you want that. But I swear, he just wants one more thing to be an expert on. God, he's tiring. 

Axel is adorable. Good job, Maddie!