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S06.E03: Finding Joy's Dress


mythoughtis
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Joy goes dress shopping. Ben corrals the kids. Austin works on the house. Mod- please adjust as needed. Plus the app merged my post below into this one. 

Has Jessa never heard of pumping  breast milk? There is no reason that Ben, and both kids had to come on a plane ride and sit at the park.  

Hello, Duggars, there are these things called brides magazines and the internet. Joy could have gotten some ideas and made her hated shopping easier. 

Edited by kariyaki
Punctuation error in title
  • Love 9

Why do these morons always have to do the -- OMG here are all the reasons we love you/will miss you (bc you're special) -- thing AT the store?? Isn't it awkward that store owners/employees are awkwardly standing around or have to scram so that some family can have their touching moment??

Joy has no personality whatsoever . . . will work well with her headship actually.

  • Love 10
15 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

What is wrong with this family? Why isn't Michelle comforting Jennifer? Why are they all acting as if Joy is going off to war in Iraq? 

What made Jenni cry? They're all over this on FJ. I'm assuming someone (probably Mechelle) triggered Jenni into remembering that Joy is leaving. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
  • Love 4
4 minutes ago, cereality said:

Why do these morons always have to do the -- OMG here are all the reasons we love you/will miss you (bc you're special) -- thing AT the store?? Isn't it awkward that store owners/employees are awkwardly standing around or have to scram so that some family can have their touching moment??

 

I think that they wouldn't want a touching moment without other people...plus teevee cameras, of course...on hand to witness and be impressed by it. (and made to feel inferior by it or at least uncomfortable)

.... I mean, as far as I can tell, impressing others with their wonderfulness-as-a-family is likely the only reason they stage touching moments at all. Doesn't seem to me as if any of them actually feels much of anything for the others. So if there were no observers, why would you do it? ....

Sort of like the birthday and anniversary wishes that absolutely must be made online. (and consist of the exact same phrases no matter whose event it is or who's wishing them whatever.) 

  • Love 13

So I'm watching this and thinking if Joy doesn't care about which wedding dress, why the hell should we care??  If you want an audience to watch your show, then at least act excited for interest's sake!

 

It was boring to watch someone else be bored by shopping.  Can they get canceled yet?

And nowhere in the real world when Bin be able to leave his job to look after his sons while his wife flies to Kentucky to shop for her sister's dress.  

And I missed why they all had to fly to Kentucky for this dress shopping... they just go flying anywhere at their whim. Why are we watching this on national tv?

  • Love 23

If this was just an overnight trip, and the Seewalds use formula, why couldn't Ben have STAYED HOME and watched the kids? Sure, I realize from other accounts of tonight's episode that he's basically incompetent, but he has to learn SOMETIME, doesn't he? 

edit: But on the other hand, wouldn't the kids have had fewer meltdowns in a comfortable envirornment? And hell, I'm not even a parent, other than of furbabies who definitely DO stress in unfamiliar places (vet, anyone?).

Edited by Sew Sumi
  • Love 9

It's a shame Joy couldn't have done what she wanted. A simple ceremony in a church wearing a comfortable dress and just the families.

Not 1,000 guests, all this fuss and hoopla.  It's clearly not something she cares about.  Very sad.  She isn't even free to choose a simple wedding.  Joy grew up on TV so it's not the cameras that are upsetting her.  Couldn't they have filmed a simple wedding just as easily as a fancy wedding?  

  • Love 24
1 minute ago, Sew Sumi said:

Not if you're a Duggar, and it's all about bragging rights for Boob. 

I'm not a wedding person and was much like Joy. My mom gave up. We had a church wedding with 50 people, a nice lunch and a comfortable white dress! 

I feel bad that a Duggar wedding MUST be a certain way. If you are old enough to get married you are old enough to plan your own wedding.  

  • Love 15

Joy acted like a child tonight. I dunno. Is this what you like Joy? I dunno. Duh...I dunno. She needed someone to say, "You're acting lik a child. Until you can communicate like an adult getting ready to get married I'm going. Call me when you're serious" just to think, this CHILD is going to be a mother. 

Ben, why do you have to follow the girls on a trip? Go to Jessa and get your balls back from the second hand tacky purse she carries them in.

Edited by Annb67
  • Love 18

A few random observersations: Mechelle looks more and more orange every episode. Way too much of her and Boob tonight but at least they weren't together. Where was Smugs on the Skeet shooting manly man outing? Austin seems like an ok guy and that he loves Joy but she acts about 12. Miss Renee is way over the top. Actually didn't mind the Dullards and Israel's birthday. He is very cute. Bin seemed like he didn't know what to do with his own children.

  • Love 6

Do you want to amaze or be beautiful? These can be the both if you're lucky, if you're Jinger. Some Duggar brides, (Jill, Joy) were almost playing a part much of the time. Jessa? Almost amazing for a Duggar bride, but her hair held her back. Everyday hair is not bridal hair. And other than Jinger, no one gets amazing from me. Joy's Frankenstein dress is as bad as Jill's. The sleeves were just awful. Whatever the fabric Miss Reness used there, as well as the fit, was a TOTAL MISS. A little lace somewhere would have staballized the fabric. CHEAP! 

Edited by Sew Sumi
  • Love 7

I feel like a lot of our questions regarding this show/family can be summarized by: because plotlines/ratings/$$$$$$$.

Also, I swear to god - if Joy had said ''I dunno'' one more time, my eyes would have stayed permanently stuck to the back of my head. Just pick a damn dress and be done with it, FFS.

Edited by PinkyCupcake
  • Love 12

Bin said he had never spent time alone with his children.  Never?  

Two lost girls completely distraught during a paid, public performance staged at a dress shop at the thought of losing another sister-mother and Jana looking heartbroken too. So sad. And MEchelle just sitting there probably dreaming of more grandbabies. Plus Joy is only moving a short distance away. They're so dysfunctional they can't even see it. The fact they OK scenes like this to air proves it. 

And amidst the crying, Jinger advises Joy, "marriage is the best"--a testament to life in the TTH.

I mostly listened to this nothing burger of a show while folding laundry. The scene with Jill and Derek celebrating Israel's birthday looked 100% normal--which is actually odd for a CO ep.

  • Love 17

I don't watch this, but just from the descriptions of Joy here I'm wondering. I'm sure at least some of the kids hate the whole TeeVee thing. And maybe Joy's one of them. Since she's obviously both inarticulate and cowed, I wonder whether this isn't her subliminal rebellion against having her life be made into other people's symbolic-religious plaything and still other people's video entertainment instead of ever being just HER life. The amount of control and surveillance these kids have been under all these years is horrifying. 

  • Love 18

I don't usually watch the show, but my Headship and I were channel surfing last night and I decided to treat him to a couple of minutes of the Duggar-verse. We saw the bit where Joy tried on the polka-dot dress and the brothers tried to define A-line. We lasted a maximum of five minutes, but the Headship was astounded by the rampant stupidity. "They're all so...vacant! You can hear the air whooshing through their heads!"

  • Love 23

TLC put out for a lot of airplane tickets for that lame episode.  I guess the little girls were supposed to provide entertainment, but they looked like were watching paint dry for 6 hours or so...until of course they were manipulated into crying.  These kids are just not entertaining in the slightest (unlike Jeb, Judson, and Callie Bates).

Joy needs to realize that she has to do a little acting here.  She doesn't want this crap wedding, but she does want the paycheck.  So pretend a little, Joy.  Jessa needs to sit her down and tell her she has a role to play in this snoozefest.

ETA:  I really liked the polka dot dress and it looked great on Joy.

Edited by riverblue22
  • Love 11

Hard to believe Joy had a breakdown & had  to call Austin for "encouraging words" after trying on just one dress.  I must have tried on 20 dresses at various stores to find "the one."  It was a fun time not torture as Joy portrayed it.  I thought it was funny that Jessa kept  working on Joy's hair while she was on the phone.  I guess she was the phone chaperone.

Austin better be prepared to spend hours at the grocery story with indecisive Joy.  They'll have to go back & forth a couple times over each item.  I don't think she could handle a simple shopping trip on her own without calling her headship for "encouraging words." The cereal aisle alone would do her in.

  • Love 20
1 hour ago, Kokapetl said:

I bet the real reason Joy chose that dress was because it was 5 pm.

Ms Renee’s speciality seems to be sewing modesty panels on dresses that are originally strapless or sheer above the breasts, and then putting another layer of lace over the entire thing.

And that's okaaayyy...said in my best Ms Renee talking to a five year old voice.

  • Love 14
4 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

Hard to believe Joy had a breakdown & had  to call Austin for "encouraging words" after trying on just one dress.  I must have tried on 20 dresses at various stores to find "the one."  It was a fun time not torture as Joy portrayed it.  I thought it was funny that Jessa kept  working on Joy's hair while she was on the phone.  I guess she was the phone chaperone.

Austin better be prepared to spend hours at the grocery story with indecisive Joy.  They'll have to go back & forth a couple times over each item.  I don't think she could handle a simple shopping trip on her own without calling her headship for "encouraging words." The cereal aisle alone would do her in.

Fruity pebbles or cocoa puffs? Oh, I dont know. I mean, is there a toy in one? Am I in a fruity mood or chocolate mood? I need to call Austin-sniff sniff. 20 minutes later...fruity pebbles or cocoa puffs. I dunno.

  • Love 8

What I learned this episode:

Michelle doesn't understand how phones work - trying to tell Austin about the hot pink dress while the phone is ringing.

Joe thinks the letter "A" is shaped like a rectangle - yet pantomimes a triangle while saying rectangle.

Joe and Austin confirmed yet again that the courting couples don't set their own rules - talk of crossing their future FILs when a side hug lasts longer than 3 seconds.

Edited by Triple P
Typo
  • Love 15
21 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

But why should the victims of decades of vicious abuse be required to be entertaining and -- God forbid -- act for our amusement? Expecting them to tell "polite" lies about their feelings is absolutely the last thing that anyone should demand of kids who've been raised as these kids have been. Let alone having it be a TeeVee audience of gawkers at their abuse who ask this.  

I would bet my house that Joy has absolutely no idea who she really is, what she wants, how she feels about television, what kind of family she actually lives in, or what's been done to her by her hideous parents over the years ( by Boob as much as by Meechelle -- contrary to popular myth, Boob does not "love his kids.." Sentimental preening over the life forms you stuck your DNAinand now believe you own lock stock and barrel is in no sense "love." I grew up with Boobs. I guarantee it.)

Being manipulated and controlled to a fare thee well is every bit as ruinous to a person as physical torture.

Joy can't be expected to act like an adult at her age, growing up in that hellhole, because she's not an adult. She's been stunted -- like the rest of them -- to a degree that I know for a fact is literally unimaginable to most people.

And now she's involved in what -- for pretty much everyone -- is one of the most emotion-filled parts of a life.... and she's somehow supposed to behave the way we'd expect a  person to behave who grew up in a perfectly normal home without family abuse, cult abuse or the abuse of being shoved onto the television and told to lie about your life from the time you're a small child (a small child, I might add, who, when the tv series started, had in her very recent past some pretty damn serious sexual abuse from one of the "leaders" of her home -- her sick oldest brother.) 

To my mind, they're all lucky that Joy -- or one of the others -- doesn't have telekinetic powers so she could externalize the silent freakout that's almost certainly going on in her mind (whether or not she realizes it's going on...because at that age? .... yeah...) and pull a Carrie all over some modest bridal shoppe. 

It didn’t come off quite that way to viewers. 

  • Love 1

Things I learned last night.

1.  Jessa has no patience.  "Pick a damn dress already!  Don't make me pick one for you!"

2. Ben has a lot of patience.  He was able to listen to to a kid cry for a while without rushing over to him.

3.  I give Spurgeon another  3 years before him and Mama are fighting for control of the family.

4. Joy is annoying whether its her fault or not.

5.  Michelle is useless.  "Jana, make sure you have a good supply of Mommy's pills before you go!"

Edited by flyingdi
Cause he's not a doctor! He's not even 2!
  • Love 15

Okay, just finished watching this shitshow. When the little girls melted down in the bridal shop, "Miss Renee" was comforting Pwecious Miracle Josie. Where was MOTY?

The sing-song voices these grown women adopt make me want to slap them silly. Between Miss Renee's condescending syrupy breathiness and MEchelle's, "it's your Joy-Buddy" I could not be around these people for more than five minutes without a flask. Or six.

I felt a little sorry for Joy in the shopping scene. She has never been allowed to make any decisions for herself at all. Shared clothes, husband selected by her father, rules of conduct dictated by her father--even down to how many seconds she is allowed to hug her finace. It's no wonder she was paralyzed in the face of so many choices. I did see a little spark when she was talking to Austin about the renovation work. She is really being shoehorned into a role that does not seem to suit her. I worry for her mental health.

  • Love 21
2 hours ago, Kokapetl said:

It didn’t come off quite that way to viewers. 

True. But I'm pretty sure that's a) because TLC and the Duggar parents have devoted themselves seriously to lying and dissembling about it and b) because what has gone on in that household is nearly unimaginable to people who haven't experienced something similar! And the testimony of escaped Gothardites makes it quite clear what goes on in that cult -- even when the parental units of a family aren't mentally warped like Jim Bob and Meeechelle! 

  • Love 3
22 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

Okay, just finished watching this shitshow. When the little girls melted down in the bridal shop, "Miss Renee" was comforting Pwecious Miracle Josie. Where was MOTY?

The sing-song voices these grown women adopt make me want to slap them silly. Between Miss Renee's condescending syrupy breathiness and MEchelle's, "it's your Joy-Buddy" I could not be around these people for more than five minutes without a flask. Or six.

I felt a little sorry for Joy in the shopping scene. She has never been allowed to make any decisions for herself at all. Shared clothes, husband selected by her father, rules of conduct dictated by her father--even down to how many seconds she is allowed to hug her finace. It's no wonder she was paralyzed in the face of so many choices. I did see a little spark when she was talking to Austin about the renovation work. She is really being shoehorned into a role that does not seem to suit her. I worry for her mental health.

MOTY was staring at the pretty colors and patterns her fingers were weaving in the air.

Michelle and Ben, they know were to get the good stuff.

  • Love 7

I also felt so sorry for Joy. She clearly has never made an unaided decision in her life. She clearly has never had anyone try to help her to overcome her shyness and/or help her articulate her thoughts. They have been so busy brainwashing her.

My daughter is in her late teens, and I feel it's part of my job to help her function n the world, one of those skills being able to communicate with people...like, how to ask for help with things, how to ask questions, etc. I know it sounds funny, but kids need help knowing what you should do -- like, it's OK in a clothing store to ask what the final price of a sale item is, or if you have to take a train, it's OK to ask people around you, "Is this the train downtown?"  Teens can be reticent to do these things.

Joy was thrown into the center of a circle and suddenly made to have opinions and make decisions, all by herself. I'll bet NEVER happens off-camera. They probably all say "Joy, do this, wear that, go here."

I saw Jessa as trying to rescue her by breaking it down into pieces, but that wasn't helping. Do you like lace? Do you like the color? Do you like the sleeves? I'm sure Joy was telling the absolute truth when she said I DON'T KNOW. And then it's all so fraught with emotion because its the MOST IMPORTANT DRESS EVERRRRRRRRR.

If they cared about her, they would've done this whole exercise w/o cameras, and let her look and try without asking her even once to express an opinion or choose**. Say "Just try things on until you think you might like something," and then once she had chosen, do a fake try on with dresses so she can "pretend" to pick.  

I really think life is going to be hard for her, she's going to second-guess herself constantly, no one ever taught her how to navigate the world. No one EVER helped her develop any self-confidence.Poor Joy.

 

** also, they could've looked at photos of dresses and done like a flash-card speed-dating thing -- dont overthink it, just, first reaction: Yes or no? Then you go through the yes pile to see what they have in common.

Edited by MamaMax
  • Love 23

This was probably one of the weirdest episodes I can remember.  The getting ready to leave from the Duggar compound.  I would think if I had THAT MANY kids, I would have some organization and routines down by now.  Michelle really seems like she is on some strong meds.  There seems very little structure.  Shoes laying all over the house in random spots.  Did you get a look at that kitchen?  Cluttered mess.  Michelle, you wanted all those damned kids, but it seems too much for you to pull it together.  She seems like such a bystander and lets Janna and Joy do pretty much everything for the kids.

Joy was super-irritating in the bridal shop.  If I didn't know better I would think she was being forced into a marriage she doesn't want.  As someone already said, how hard is it to look at some bridal magazines or Pinterest to see what you want so you don't arrive at the shop and keep saying, "Duh, I don't know."  And why all the talk about what Austin wanted as far as a dress?  He basically said he doesn't care.  When she had to call him for reassurance after trying on one dress I thought she is no way ready to get married.  She had her mother, grandmother and sisters there and she needs to interrupt him from working on that broken-down house to get comforted?  It's so weird I feel like there must be some backstory here.

Same with Jennifer crying.  Those were not happy tears, as Jessa said, she was distraught.  I guess Joy is like her mother and she feels she is being left.  The poor kid is probably going to need therapy.

  • Love 10

I think Joy may have told Jana that she was concerned about looking fat, because Jana seemed to emphasize how skinny the first two dresses made her look. 

The final Frankendress was the boxy, lumpy worst. 

4 hours ago, Annb67 said:

And that's okaaayyy...said in my best Ms Renee talking to a five year old voice.

It was as if Joy was special needs and had shat herself or something.   

  • Love 11
Quote

1.  Jessa has no patience.  "Pick a damn dress already!  Don't make me pick one for you!"

I think I have a fairly normal amount of patience, but between the cake tasting last week and the dress shopping I would so be Jessa in this situation. After awhile with Joy saying "I don't know" to practically everything I would be thinking just pick something already or I will do it, because this is getting ridiculous. Maybe I need more patience. It is also ridiculous that the viewers have to watch wedding planning with indecisive Joy when the wedding has already aired. 

  • Love 13

Look on Mr. Dwayne's face when he walked into the home...whaaat a shit hole....Not enough lipstick for this pig of a house.....

Just DOZE the house and park a double wide trailer on the slab...move in less than 3 days...

 

You got a whole clown car full of Dugg non females to go skeet shooting...how about the same group helping with Joy's house after all she waited on you all hand and foot for years...

 

Heavy handed Producer induced time killer of an episode...

Undecidey Joy-has never had to make any decisions in her life, the first one is... her wedding dress! Woe is her!

The dress with the dots looked the best, the one she eventually picked made her frontage looked heavy and out of balance.

Why did Bin and Spooge need to go to Kentucky?

Camera time/paycheck since Jess not the focus of the episode?

Too much JimBlob and Chelle...bleech...

Does Jason's facial hair look bizzaro to anyone else...looks like he is going as a hobo for Halloween...like he drew it in with an eyebrow pencil...

  • Love 9

Another thought: all the dresses picked by Miss Renee looked too mature for Joy, IMHO. The only one that was youthful enough was the polka dotted one. I'm not sure why Joy rejected that one, but then, neither is she. The one she chose would have looked much better if they had left some of the neckline open. I think a V-neck would be good for Joy, since she appears boxier in these dresses than she really is (I think because she is busty and not very tall). The edits made to the dress made it look more like a straight jacket to me. Sadly, that may be appropriate for this marriage.

  • Love 9

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