Season 1 Discussion

[AZChristian]

6 hours ago, Cherrio said:

I don't think I would label it a drinking problem if we have only seen her do it once.

I usually agree with you so much . . . but not this time.  The operative word is "WE" have only seen her do it once.  She has been in The Netherlands for several weeks by the time of this episode.  Even if WE have only seen it once, I got the feeling that (a) Jesse definitely has been affected by heavy drinkers in the past, and (b) their earlier discussion about "a little glass of wine now and then" being okay possibly followed an earlier "over-drinking" episode by Darcy.  

I've been away from home (and my computer all day), so I'm catching up on posts.  There has also been discussion about Abby's scabies earlier in this thread.  Did I hear correctly?  Didn't Chris say something in the car when they left the airport about his itching had stopped, and he was surprised she was still itching?  Sounds like he got medical treatment, but that Abby has been depending on the witch doctor - without success.  I'm just wondering which one of them gave it to the other, and whether Sean will join after his "magical" nights with Abby.

[gavinmac]

1 hour ago, Morgalisa said:

I dont think she is a sex worker.  Other posters who know the area think she is. They have more information on the area than I do (which is zero). I still have a hard time seeing her as a sex worker.  I like her and wish her well. I cant imagine what it must be like for those young impoverished women who seem to have no way out.

She certainly doesn't give off a sex worker vibe. She's mature for her age, and she doesn't have obvious tattoos, we haven't seen her drinking/smoking/using drugs/swearing/cackling like typical third world bargirls.

But the thing about impoverished countries is that, due to the lack of other employment opportunities and the pressure to support impoverished parents, a lot of of otherwise "normal" 18-22 year old women start working in sleazy bars, or they become "freelancers" who hang out in bars that are known pickup joints, and then go home with Western guys for money. Some of these girls may only have 3-5 customers a month. Some may have a lot more.  But many of them don't look or act much different from other local girls their age who work as waitresses, sales clerks, etc.

There's a presumption in many developing countries that if a local woman has a white boyfriend, then she is or was a hooker. That's why if you're in Bangkok and a white guy introduces you to his Thai girlfriend, it's taboo to ask "So, how did you guys meet?"  Because there's a great chance they met at the strip club where she was working.

Anyway, pretty 20 year old Haitian woman who speaks good English and has a 60+ year old white ex-boyfriend she met in a "cafe" in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic is going to add up to "hooker" 99% of the time.

[ALittleShelfish]

re: Abby/Sean/Chris...

Maybe I watch a lot of crime tee-vee.  But I won't be the teensiest-tiniest bit surprised when we see an update on them on ID or Oxygen.  Abby and Chris lure an unsuspecting suckerrrrrrr into their web and kill him for all the money Sean left her in his will that he was pressured into writing up shortly before his untimely demise.  

Okay maybe I just watch TOO MUCH crime tee-vee.

re: Paul/Karine...

I felt the mugging wasn't 100% authentic, but  my feelings about pushing Paul into the poop water ARE.  Dammit, Karine.  You had your chance. But now, with only one part of their translation operation availavle... what are the odds Paul gets lost and Karine is free?  Okay, slim, but still...

I have zero feelings about the other two couples. 

[OhIgetit]

22 hours ago, itsadryheat said:

Really, Smilin' Chris, So what did you think was going to happen. Couple rounds of shots, few games of pool, then you flip a coin to see who gets Abby first? 

Luckily it didn’t get physical someone could have broken a hip. 

[Meowwww]

See, I have been Darcey to an extent. 

Not an alcoholic, but in a relationship with a controlling narcissist for 8 years.  Jesse reminds me SO MUCH of my ex.  It starts small....by the time my relationship ended, I had no friends, was separated from family, and my self esteem was non-existent.  I had been conditioned to feel like my opinions don’t count. 

The way Jesse said “let me finish” and “what is up with the attitude” brought me right back to my hellish past.  I had therapy for years after it ended, it’s no joke  

And yes, ex and I would have fights where I would need to just run away.  Normal?  No. But nothing was normal in that relationship.  I see Darcey realizing it and it breaks my heart. 

So maybe the focus shouldn’t be on her being an “alcoholic”  I think anyone who has been in my shoes recognizes it  

[Nowhere]

18 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

I thought Jesse was being really harsh and rigid about the drinking and how I would be insulted if someone told me I had to agree to never drink again or our relationship was over. In that tone. Everything about that tone made me scream "NOPE."

And then I remembered that Darcey was a belligerent drunken asshole who cried, mocked Jesse, and then ran off into the night, ignoring his phone calls and him yelling for her in the dark, surely disturbing the neighbors. Embarrassing. And, to be honest, that would be a deal breaker for me as well. It wouldn't even be a "stop now or we're finished" conversation, it would be a "pack your shit, we're done" conversation.

That's the difference. Drinking may not be a deal breaker for Jesse but drinking alone to excess and acting like a complete bitch is a deal breaker for many people. I was in a relationship for a short time with a man who would sometimes show up to our dates already wasted. It's very annoying and I tried to understand and be a cool girlfriend but ultimately I couldn't handle it. I'm not against drinking but I am against treating people who love you like shit because you can't control your drinking. That's a red flag for me. Unfortunately, you don't always know the extent of the problem until you're already in it. I thought it was common knowledge that you're supposed to show up to dates sober and on time. Apparently Jesse didn't know he had to spell that out for a 43 year old woman. 

Darcy said she had "a few wines." A few. Not a glass. She didn't show up at home when she was expected and wasn't answering phone calls. Just not showing up is a red flag. It's inconsiderate.  Add drunkenness on top of that and it's a mess. When Darcy finally decided to make an appearance, she was very rude and obnoxious. I can see this being a problem for her and ultimately for Jesse if he has to worry about whether or not he'll have to pick her up from the drunk tank every time she's late getting home. If she wasn't trying to hide out and if she had come home acting normally, maybe he wouldn't have minded. 

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I agree, but what bothered me was how childlike she was with him. It was really like he was speaking to a small child & she was responding to an authority figure.

I've noticed that everything about Darcey is immature. I would definitely think Jesse was older if we weren't already told otherwise. 

[Former Nun]

2 hours ago, wovenloaf said:

I'm not sure what point you're trying to make here.  (Well, no, actually - I think I do get your implication, I just find it uncalled for and am hoping you meant something else.) 

I'm not sure just what you've decided my "uncalled for" implication is but it's obviously negative.  I apologize.

[Xena1833]

I agree totally. Karine seems to be honest and sincere. Paul is an asshole. Deserves whatever fate awaits him back in the US. Karine is well rid of him!

[Nowhere]

Did anyone else notice the look on Abby's face when Chris was explaining to her that Sean needed to be treated for scabies? She looked a little offended that he was so nonchalant about the fact that she was screwing another man. She was probably expecting him to be more upset that she's with Sean, but no. He was just worried about the scabies being passed back and forth when she sleeps with Sean. Chris doesn't care who she has sex with and it seems like he expects her to have other partners, leading me to believe that she is a prostitute and Chris is a regular customer with whom she fell in love.

[Meowwww]

I like Chris.  There’s no BS with him, we know it’s all about sex. 

The weird thing Abby said when Chris talked to her about marrying Sean “it wouldn’t be like this otherwise” or some such thing. 

Chris owns his kingly self. 

[Nowhere]

Paul was repeatedly saying, "Don't make me go in this water." In other words, "If you come nearer to me, I will go in this water and I know you don't want that." It was manipulation. She was pulling him away from the water while he was pretending he was about to jump to get away from her. I would have pushed him in. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by Nowhere

[Horrified]

8 hours ago, Kath94 said:

Okay, here's my take on it.  Chris is a "regular" to the DR, having had his pick of paid-for flings.  He found a jewel in Abby, convinced her to give up the "business," go to school, and find a way out.  Remember when she said that Chris "teaches (her) things?"  Chris is instructing Abby on not how to survive from day to day but to have a long-term plan.  Get an education, find a (relatively) wealthy American and get to the USA where you can make something of yourself.  I feel that Abby is very grateful to Chris, loves him in a way, and knows that she will continue to "pay him back" for his "education," but that her best move is to marry an American.

Yup - agree completely.

Here's what I cant figure out though - why is Chris even agreeing to be filmed for this garbage fire?  He probably has a relatively respectable life back in the States (maybe even, heaven help us, grown children), so why expose yourself as a skeevy sex tourist (c'mon, we can ALL read between the lines) caught up in a weird love triangle?  What's in it for him?  I mean, most people go on this kind of show because they want to be on TV and pick up some cash.  Can't see that either of those scenarios fits Chris.

And why was Chris just sitting there on that little chair outside the cafe?  Producers placed him there for sure, but man, its like the producers aren't even trying anymore to make situations on this show look plausible.

And yet, I continue to watch.

8 hours ago, Drogo said:

I have to disagree that Jesse's out of line insisting Darcy abstain from alcohol if she wants to continue in their relationship.  Darcy needs alcohol to deal with stressful situations, and while it may or may not be alcoholism it is a drinking problem.  We're all allowed to have our dealbreakers in relationships, and he wouldn't be the first person for whom "a drinking problem" was a dealbreaker.  

I wonder if he conveyed this to Darcy while they were still courting online.  Seems like an important thing to tell someone before they fly half way across the world to meet you.

And haven't they enjoyed a glass of wine here and there throughout their time together?  

[Horrified]

Antonio reminds me of Harvey Fierstein

[Cherrio]

36 minutes ago, Horrified said:

why is Chris even agreeing to be filmed for this garbage fire? 

I get a swinger vibe from him so he would enjoy showing up.

What I actually saw were two extremely insecure men who show it in different ways.

[Morgalisa]

So, I googled scabies. Abby needs to get treated by an actual doctor. And Sean. And probably her oarents as well. And I think I might have it as well. I should never look at pictures on the internet. I dont even have a rash and yet Im itching all over. 

[balisticnikki]

Just a few thoughts. Can't reply to specific posts.

1. The terms are "sugar daddy" & "sugar baby." These types of arrangements are more common than many of you think. Abby is a sugar baby....a concubine....a pet....what have you.

I know women here in the US who have sugar daddies. They aren't street walkers, no. But men do give them money. And yes, sex or something similar is involved. Chris is Abby's sugar daddy. They prbly do care about each other to a certain degree, but marriage, etc., is not on the table. They are not "equals."

 

2. Yes, Haiti is a poor country but here are many, many Haitian women who aren't prostitutes or sugar babies. Abby wasn't "forced" into that lifestyle; she chose that lifestyle, right or wrong. Abby is looking for a come-up, plain & simple. And yes, Abby is already enrolled in school. I believe Chris is paying her tuition.

 

3. Abby is a mean, messy little thing imo. Nothing to do with her being a sugar baby. Did you hear the way she was speaking to Sean, her "almost fiancee"? Like, "BITCH, i didn't have to tell you the truth about how i met Chris; we weren't together then." 

Then in her lispy, baby voice she whispers, "Sean doesn't trust me. Not even a little bit......"

 

4. Having an old, wealthy sugar daddy might be a good thing for some women. But eventually, they die. So finding a husband has to be consideration. Enter, Sean. Abby can't cut Chris off & be loyal to Sean in case her k1 visa is denied & she has to start over with someone else. Or in case the marriage doesn't work out.

 

5. Jesse doesn't care if ppl ~who can hold their alcohol~ drink. But he's sees the makings of an ugly, out of control wino in Darcey & THAT is the dealbreaker. It's totally possible Jesse mentioned to her that he doesn't drink & isn't into ppl who drink heavily or whatever. But knowing what we know of Darcey, she prbly said she feels the same way. 

The excuses she gave jesse made no sense: I feel lost, i feel claustrophobic, etc. Nope, you're just used to drinking when you get stressed, Darcey.

 

6. No k1 visas have been applied for on this show. The couples on this show are just ppl meeting for the first time. An in-person meeting is a prerequisite for applying. 

 

7. Are Paul's shoes actual orthopedic/medical shoes? Or just chunky, regular shoes?

[Lily247]

4 hours ago, Morgalisa said:

I dont think she is a sex worker.  Other posters who know the area think she is. They have more information on the area than I do (which is zero). I still have a hard time seeing her as a sex worker.  I like her and wish her well. I cant imagine what it must be like for those young impoverished women who seem to have no way out.

She doesn't look like a streetwalker - in fact, she dresses very classy. However the dead giveaway is that she had a sexual relationsip with a 64 year old man at the age of 19 or 20. She could have been one of those girls who go through sugardaddies. 

[Cherrio]

2 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I usually agree with you so much .

 

Here is AZ talking to Cherrio.   :)

 

[RichiesOlderBro]

38 minutes ago, Horrified said:

Yup - agree completely.

Here's what I cant figure out though - why is Chris even agreeing to be filmed for this garbage fire?  He probably has a relatively respectable life back in the States (maybe even, heaven help us, grown children), so why expose yourself as a skeevy sex tourist (c'mon, we can ALL read between the lines) caught up in a weird love triangle?  What's in it for him?  I mean, most people go on this kind of show because they want to be on TV and pick up some cash.  Can't see that either of those scenarios fits Chris.

And why was Chris just sitting there on that little chair outside the cafe?  Producers placed him there for sure, but man, its like the producers aren't even trying anymore to make situations on this show look plausible.

 

Everyone loves their 15 mins of fame, even Chris.

 

Chris was trying to help Abby seal the deal with Sean and allow her to move to the US/get her Green Card ( and probably visit him too ).

Abby totally misread Sean.  Sean is not mature like Chris. He is emotionally a 14 year boy.  Notice how Sean gripped that soda and played with that straw?  His jealousy was almost out of control.  Sean is a lot like Larry.  You saw how Jenny was surprised how wimpy Larry is  in person.  I think both guys were more secure talking thru text and not so good in person  

[gavinmac]

16 minutes ago, RichiesOlderBro said:

Everyone loves their 15 mins of fame, even Chris.

 

 

There's good fame and bad fame.  "Scabies-afflicted sex tourist homewrecker" is bad fame.

[Drogo]

Jesse's not a teetotaler, he just doesn't like the person Darcey becomes when she drinks. Good on him for having standards. 

[bethster2000]

2 hours ago, Meowwww said:

So maybe the focus shouldn’t be on her being an “alcoholic”  I think anyone who has been in my shoes recognizes it  

I hear you, girl...and I've been there myself.  Darcey needs to run, run, run far away.

[Adultosaurus]

8 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

 

@Former Nun, I'm so sorry that you and your children had to deal with that. Hugs.

@Cherrio, I agree with you that Jesse was creepy and controlling in the way he demanded it. 

When one has had a experience with alcoholics and their antics, one of the red flags (episode title!) is major behavior change when the person drinks too much. Someone who is usually jovial becomes nasty. Someone usually calm becomes violent. Darcey morphing from needy, "please love me" to sarcastic mocking and hiding in the dark (LIKE WTF?!) not responding to repeated attempts to contact her, is a sign of a problem. 

When I was Jesse's age I probably would have blown it off as a one off. But it appears Jesse has a pretty good amount of experience with alcoholics and perhaps that is why he is so rigid and controlling in other areas. He can't control Darcey's drinking, but he seems to be young enough to think he can, at least in that moment. Maybe he is trying to resolve his relationship with his mother. Freud would eat this up with a spoon.

 

P.S. He won't be able to control Darcey, just like he couldn't control his mom (or whoever the alcoholic was). You can't control other people, especially not those with addictions. 

I'm curious as to if Jesse chose Darcey for this very reason - someone his own age may not be as easy to control.  Darcey has shown total submission (desperation) to him, which maybe someone not so desperate wouldn't have shown.

Edited October 3, 2017 by Adultosaurus

[Nowhere]

I wonder, if roles were reversed, how many would applaud Darcy for having standards when it comes to Jesse drinking and acting like an ass. Why is it automatically wrong for Jesse to say he won't stand for Darcy's highly immature behavior?He likes older women for a reason. I think Darcy pulled the wool over his eyes and he's seeing that she's actually at the maturity level of an 18 yr old.

5 minutes ago, Adultosaurus said:

I'm curious as to if Jesse chose Darcey for this very reason - someone his own age may not be as easy to control.  Darcey has shown total submission (desperation) to him, which maybe someone not so desperate wouldn't have shown.

I'd think a woman in her forties would be harder to control. Darcey isn't typical of women her age. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by Nowhere

[sleekandchic]

18 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Jesse's not a teetotaler, he just doesn't like the person Darcey becomes when she drinks. Good on him for having standards. 

But what standards does he have for himself?

He strikes me as an inauthentic opportunist.

But I will admit, based on watching ALL the participants during the many seasons, that I can't always tell who is who, who is sincere, who is a con artist, who is somebody who deserves to be put on a slow raft back from whence s/he came.

Except Mo. He was a bad guy from day one, IMO. No doubt in my mind.

I feel sorry for 75% of the show's "stars."  The remaining 25% should be ashamed, IMO.

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, Cherrio said:

 

Here is AZ talking to Cherrio.   :)

 

Don't you have that backward? That's YOU talking to ME!!!  LOL. As long as we're still friends - that's the important thing.

[Adultosaurus]

21 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

I wonder, if roles were reversed, how many would applaud Darcy for having standards when it comes to Jesse drinking and acting like an ass. Why is it automatically wrong for Jesse to say he won't stand for Darcy's highly immature behavior?He likes older women for a reason. I think Darcy pulled the wool over his eyes and he's seeing that she's actually at the maturity level of an 18 yr old.

I'd think a woman in her forties would be harder to control. Darcey isn't typical of women her age. 

Maybe a less-desperate, more self-aware woman in her forties.  Darcey is neither...I think he is a Cub with a lot of thought put into it.

[Nowhere]

4 minutes ago, Adultosaurus said:

Maybe a less-desperate, more self-aware woman in her forties.  Darcey is neither...I think he is a Cub with a lot of thought put into it.

Some "cubs" want a mature woman, though, right? Because we're not talking one night stands in this situation. This is a man who wants a long-term relationship with an older woman. Jesse comes across as much older than his age. Is it possible that over video chat, she portrayed herself as being more self-aware and mature than she actually is?

This is the problem with "falling in love" long distance. There's no way you can really know someone until you've spent time together in person. She could have told him anything and vice versa.

I don't think Jesse is any more calculating than Darcy is. What are the benefits of a man as young as him for a woman her age? Sexual compatibility? What else? Trophy boyfriend?

 I've dated younger and it's not really worth it. If my ex was half as mature as Jesse is, it may have worked. Most men his age don't have their shit together and the phases of life are so different, it's almost impossible to not feel like you're mothering them and that is not sexy unless you're weird. If anything, it's probably that Darcy knows she's stunted and assumed that a younger man would put up with her shit because she's buying him as his sugar mama. I think she picked the wrong guy if she wanted that. Just my opinion. 

[Adultosaurus]

1 minute ago, Nowhere said:

Some "cubs" want a mature woman, though, right? Because we're not talking one night stands in this situation. This is a man who wants a long-term relationship with an older woman. Jesse comes across as much older than his age. Is it possible that over video chat, she portrayed herself as being more self-aware and mature than she actually is?

This is the problem with "falling in love" long distance. There's no way you can really know someone until you've spent time together in person. She could have told him anything and vice versa.

I don't think Jesse is any more calculating than Darcy is. What are the benefits of a man as young as him for a woman her age? Sexual compatibility? What else? Trophy boyfriend?

 I've dated younger and it's not really worth it. If my ex was half as mature as Jesse is, it may have worked. Most men his age don't have their shit together and the phases of life are so different, it's almost impossible to not feel like you're mothering them and that is not sexy unless you're weird. If anything, it's probably that Darcy knows she's stunted and assumed that a younger man would put up with her shit because she's buying him as his sugar mama. I think she picked the wrong guy if she wanted that. Just my opinion. 

If you look into Jesse's "business" - it appears that he's got an agenda and she fit into it NOT as his partner but as his fanbase.  I think Darcey views herself as a 30yo fantasy, not as the woman she is (bless her heart).

[Nowhere]

Just now, Adultosaurus said:

If you look into Jesse's "business" - it appears that he's got an agenda and she fit into it NOT as his partner but as his fanbase.  I think Darcey views herself as a 30yo fantasy, not as the woman she is (bless her heart).

Oh well they all have some sort of business agenda when they decide to do one of these shows. I'm just pretending it's real. What's his business? We all know what hers is. Can't freaking miss it and it's annoying. Even during their fake break-up he was advertising her ugly clothing line.

[MrHufflepuff]

2 hours ago, Drogo said:

Jesse's not a teetotaler, he just doesn't like the person Darcey becomes when she drinks. Good on him for having standards. 

But if the foreign spouses start having standards, we're not going to have a show to watch.

Edited October 3, 2017 by MrHufflepuff

[Chippings]

In the Paul / Karine drama in the park, I thought I noticed something odd that made me suspect how authentic it was - so I watched again in the re-run tonight, and I was right - from the time they are walking along, then sitting on the cement steps and he's telling her about his criminal past, through the drama up the hill and to the river, her hair changes a few times!    First when they are just walking and looking at the phone, her hair was down loose.  When they are talking on the steps, it's up in a knot.  When she is chasing him, it seems to be a differently styled knot (lower down) (but I could be wrong there).

When she is climbing over the wire fence to follow him, then her hair is down again , and still is when she gets to him at the river.  But then when they are looking together at the phone, her hair is in a neat knot again.  And I swear when she is mugged, the knot is different.

I could be mis-reading the knots, but I am sure about the hair being down for parts of it and up for others.  You can grab a scrunchy out of your pocket and put your hair up pretty quickly, but  in those circumstances?    Obsessed, much ??  Sorry.  But we see producer manipulation in other places, and this one was just too odd, considering it is such a dramatic segment. 

(Can't believe I am wasting valuable minutes of my life kvetching about this!)  

[Teddybear]

I really wanted Paul to have an encounter with a Rodent of Unusual Size in the woods/swamp.  

Damn Karine must really want that Green Card.  

[CofCinci]

6 hours ago, Horrified said:

Here's what I cant figure out though - why is Chris even agreeing to be filmed for this garbage fire?  He probably has a relatively respectable life back in the States (maybe even, heaven help us, grown children), so why expose yourself as a skeevy sex tourist (c'mon, we can ALL read between the lines) caught up in a weird love triangle?  What's in it for him?  I mean, most people go on this kind of show because they want to be on TV and pick up some cash.  Can't see that either of those scenarios fits Chris.

He most likely didn’t know that the series was trashy. Abby may have told him it was a documentary. Or, he cares some about Abby and wanted to appear so that she would receive money for the series.  

6 hours ago, Horrified said:

And why was Chris just sitting there on that little chair outside the cafe?  Producers placed him there for sure, but man, its like the producers aren't even trying anymore to make situations on this show look plausible.

I think he was waiting for his ride. It’s not safe to hang out in on the street in Haiti. That chair is positioned there for a reason - so that tourists can wait for their hired car within the safety of the compound walls. 

[CoachWristletJen]

9 hours ago, Nowhere said:

Paul was repeatedly saying, "Don't make me go in this water." In other words, "If you come nearer to me, I will go in this water and I know you don't want that." It was manipulation. She was pulling him away from the water while he was pretending he was about to jump to get away from her. I would have pushed him in. 

Exactly. Paul might be the worst scumbag we've seen so far on 90DF, and that's certainly saying something! 

And poor Carine didn't even understand enough English to make sense of his threats. Certainly when the volume got turned up and he was getting all weird and sputtery, she would have more difficulty discerning the few words that she did know.

At least she will get a restraining order in the States and find a new husband quickly!

[Bibi]

20 hours ago, AnnaL said:

It is sad for me to see a 20 year old girl that has more mileage and has learned to play these dangerous games with men at this short age. I know life is very hard in Haiti, but Abby is smart , her English is pretty good, there are so many more things she could have done with her life but she decided long ago that her only way up was through someone old enough to be her grandfather (Chris) or her father (Sean), she is selling her beauty and her body to the highest bidder and she will never change, this is the life she has chosen. Really sad. 

What beauty by the way. There are really beautiful women in Haiti and Dominican Republic. I don't get the fight over a girl who looks 14 and has some kind of natural Glasgow smile. Plus scabies.

She must have done a voodoo ritual.

[Sprockets]

5 hours ago, Teddybear said:

I really wanted Paul to have an encounter with a Rodent of Unusual Size in the woods/swamp.  

Hopefully one that would go up his tiny, damp penis.  

[Drogo]

8 hours ago, sleekandchic said:

Quote

Jesse's not a teetotaler, he just doesn't like the person Darcey becomes when she drinks. Good on him for having standards. 

But what standards does he have for himself?

He strikes me as an inauthentic opportunist.

I'm not sure what Jesse's done that should lead us to believe he doesn't hold himself to any standards.  He's taken Darcey sightseeing, bike-riding, to lovely dinners, set up romantic evenings; he's been kind and affectionate to her.  I think he might have a compulsive cleanliness issue, but that's no crime.  Do I believe he should have interjected when his parents were saying Darcey wasn't in his league/stopped his friend from asking Darcey what would happen when she was 80?  Not really; that's his family/friend and blunt as they may be, they're looking out for him and he's letting them be themselves.  Darcey's a big girl and she probably should have had some expectation his parents (and friends) might not be over the moon about his dating someone who could be his mother. 

 I still think he seems like the guy from American Psycho and/or Sleeping With The Enemy... but I can agree with his asking Darcey not to drink anymore.  I've been there with someone who drank too much and became an ugly person, and I was naive to think her setting flopsy rules like "I'll watch what I drink"/"I won't drink too much"/"I'll just have 1" was enough- it's not.  Someone who has an issue with drinking really shouldn't drink, at all.  She's an adult who can make her own decisions, he's just letting her know that being with him requires her to stop drinking.  She has the freedom to continue drinking, and he has the freedom to move on from this relationship if she does.  

Then, I don't really have issues with ultimatums.  They're a chance to keep what you have.  I'd rather someone I love tell me "We can stay together if you stop/start _____" than just have them make the decision for me and end our relationship.

Darcey's "He's controlling! He's not the boss of me" sounds a lot like a teenager whose parents have just told them they aren't paying for them to spring break in Cancun: "You don't want me to have a life or any friends!" 

[Granny58]

10 hours ago, RichiesOlderBro said:

 Notice how Sean gripped that soda and played with that straw?

the way he kept sipping at it was so infantile....I felt sorry for him (yeah, I can't believe I typed that either).

8 hours ago, Nowhere said:

 I've dated younger and it's not really worth it.

I also dated younger and came to the same conclusion.  Then I met my husband, who is younger (7 years) and he was mature so here we are....29 years later.  That said, 18 years is a pretty big gap to work with. 

[Cherrio]

9 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Don't you have that backward? That's YOU talking to ME!!!  LOL. As long as we're still friends - that's the important thing.

Just kidding around because you said you usually agree with me and I thought of the famous line from When Harry Met Sally.

Buddies always.  

 Now, I need to get back to my work.  I paid Mambo Gladys $25 thousand dollars to take her course and open a franchise.

[Mr. Miner]

9 hours ago, Drogo said:

Jesse's not a teetotaler, he just doesn't like the person Darcey becomes when she drinks. Good on him for having standards. 

He's probably barely tolerating her when she's sober. She's a clown and what's with the hair down past her ass? are those extensions?

[CoachWristletJen]

32 minutes ago, Drogo said:

I'm not sure what Jesse's done that should lead us to believe he doesn't hold himself to any standards.  He's taken Darcey sightseeing, bike-riding, to lovely dinners, set up romantic evenings; he's been kind and affectionate to her.  I think he might have a compulsive cleanliness issue, but that's no crime.  Do I believe he should have interjected when his parents were saying Darcey wasn't in his league/stopped his friend from asking Darcey what would happen when she was 80?  Not really; that's his family/friend and blunt as they may be, they're looking out for him and he's letting them be themselves.  Darcey's a big girl and she probably should have had some expectation his parents (and friends) might not be over the moon about his dating someone who could be his mother. 

 I still think he seems like the guy from American Psycho and/or Sleeping With The Enemy... but I can agree with his asking Darcey not to drink anymore.  I've been there with someone who drank too much and became an ugly person, and I was naive to think her setting flopsy rules like "I'll watch what I drink"/"I won't drink too much"/"I'll just have 1" was enough- it's not.  Someone who has an issue with drinking really shouldn't drink, at all.  She's an adult who can make her own decisions, he's just letting her know that being with him requires her to stop drinking.  She has the freedom to continue drinking, and he has the freedom to move on from this relationship if she does.  

Then, I don't really have issues with ultimatums.  They're a chance to keep what you have.  I'd rather someone I love tell me "We can stay together if you stop/start _____" than just have them make the decision for me and end our relationship.

Darcey's "He's controlling! He's not the boss of me" sounds a lot like a teenager whose parents have just told them they aren't paying for them to spring break in Cancun: "You don't want me to have a life or any friends!" 

I agree with this. My dad was an alcoholic and so heavy drinking would be a deal breaker for me personally. There's nothing wrong with two people who like to drink to excess if they're both simpatico with it. It's too bad that Darcey and Jesse didn't find this kind of stuff out about each other before they got really close because I think her drinking lifestyle is in no way compatible with his. Also, she seems really stubborn.

As far as I'm concerned, getting drunk and hiding in the bushes, embarrassing Jesse in front of his neighbors, all of it is really rude and not a mature way to handle problems. Some guys would view it as hey, she had one too many, let her sleep it off. That's the kind of guy Darcey should be with.

My husband doesn't drink at all. We've been to parties when people get sloppy drunk and it's like having a superpower because they get so dumb right before your eyes. Nobody ever realizes how stupid they look when they're drunk, IMHO.

I fully get that I'm harsh about it because of my background and that's why I'm not with someone who drinks.  My husband would not ever come home drunk, but if he did, he would get an ultimatum. Same deal for me if I came home drunk. 

I think Darcey saw Jesse's muscles and decided she would do anything to be with him. It wouldn't surprise me if she became aware of his attitudes about alcohol and played down her drinking just the way she played down her age by not showing him current photos of herself

[tincansailor981]

1 hour ago, Sprockets said:

Hopefully one that would go up his tiny, damp penis.  

His threat to jump into that filthy cess pool was just idle talk since he did not have time to slip on his protective weenie jacket.

[CoachWristletJen]

6 hours ago, Teddybear said:

I really wanted Paul to have an encounter with a Rodent of Unusual Size in the woods/swamp.  

Damn Karine must really want that Green Card.  

I think she's naive. She doesn't realize what a vile human being he truly is. That's why she was smiling. She doesn't fully get it because her mind doesn't work that way.

He set his own house on fire which means that people risked their lives to go in there and put that fire out! Also, he didn't even admit to it. He said he was accused of it. Come on, Paul! Get honest!

Also, the way he was snatching the translator away from her. That was the only way the poor girl could communicate with him and figure out what was going on. There was violence in his eyes and in his gestures. He was scary. And that's what he was doing in front of the cameras.

Carine is still thinking he couldn't be so bad because she's a sweet person. She hasn't been exposed to that kind of darkness so she doesn't get how it works. And, Paul is calculating enough to tone it down until he gets her to Kentucky where she will be more fully under his control.

A word of advice to Carine: 911.

[AmyBre]

2 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Exactly. Paul might be the worst scumbag we've seen so far on 90DF, and that's certainly saying something! 

And poor Carine didn't even understand enough English to make sense of his threats. Certainly when the volume got turned up and he was getting all weird and sputtery, she would have more difficulty discerning the few words that she did know.

At least she will get a restraining order in the States and find a new husband quickly!

@CoachJen, if we are going to award Paul as the lowest scumbag of 90DF, let's not forget Mohammed.  He manipulated a weak, needy, not very bright single mother into marriage with no plans to actually form a home.

I don't think Paul and Karine would go as far as getting married and going through the process because of how dumb and clueless they both are.   I think Paul had "bedding an amazon girl" on his bucket list and now he could check it off.  In the very unlikely case where they go all the way and Karine actually relocated to the US, she would be dependent and wouldn't leave Paul because she doesn't speak the language and has no marketable skills that would allow her to get a job and live independently.   Look at the other participants, they speak English, some of them live a rather modern life (Jesse, Myriam).....but Karine, I just don't see her surviving because she hasn't been exposed to much.  I see her coming back to that jungle and dying poor caring for her parents.   Notice how almost none of the Americans (even previous seasons) come from large Metropolitan US cities.   Most of them come from rural and suburban areas.   That tells you something.

[lezlers]

On ‎10‎/‎1‎/‎2017 at 6:09 PM, CofCinci said:

Karine doesn’t give a shit about Paul’s criminal past.  Why did he run off like a little brat?  

I used to date an asshole like that a LOOOOONG time ago.  He cheated on me and every time I'd try to tell him how hurt I was or bring it up in any way, he'd run off like that until he somehow had ME apologizing to HIM for daring to even discuss it.  It's a total manipulation tactic.  Make yourself the victim and hope that she starts actually consoling you and apologizing to YOU.  

I see you Paul, you creepy asshole.

[Drogo]

2 minutes ago, lezlers said:

I used to date an asshole like that a LOOOOONG time ago.  He cheated on me and every time I'd try to tell him how hurt I was or bring it up in any way, he'd run off like that until he somehow had ME apologizing to HIM for daring to even discuss it.  It's a total manipulation tactic.  Make yourself the victim and hope that she starts actually consoling you and apologizing to YOU.  

I see you Paul, you creepy asshole.

Exactly.  And you're not alone, I've seen so much of this.  Or a girl who's upset that her boyfriend didn't get her a birthday gift, and he spins it so she's begging his forgiveness for being so materialistic. 

Heads up, Karine - people who actually want to jump into the water and drown don't wait for you and the camera crew to catch up. 

[Former Nun]

1 hour ago, Drogo said:

Then, I don't really have issues with ultimatums.  They're a chance to keep what you have.  I'd rather someone I love tell me "We can stay together if you stop/start _____" than just have them make the decision for me and end our relationship.

I agree about ultimatums--and, in this case, Jesse's.  Also, if we're adults, we can take 'em or leave 'em.  

[Bellalisa]

On 10/1/2017 at 11:03 PM, Liamsmom617 said:

YESSSS! They got our hopes up when the episode wasn't over right at 9PM...bastards. They ended it at like 9:07. 

between the commericals, the "previously on" and the "coming up next" there is only 20 minutes of new material per  60 minute show.  They do this on purpose...keep us glued, what happens next? the dribble it out bit by bit.

Paul has mental illness. It's very sad. I could see someone like him becoming a mass shooter. He could probably easily buy a machine gun. I can't understand him half the time He said STD test so fast it sounds like Sdee test. I have to put the subtitles on ...he runs his words together, Karine would have a hard time learning English from him.  I think the mugging was real, the camera guy was hysterical. 

[lezlers]

On ‎10‎/‎1‎/‎2017 at 6:26 PM, Bibi said:

Do you guys think the mugging was real? Looked like a production.

So Karine warns Paul about how dangerous the area is and she walks around at nightfall, in a  crop top and a cellphone in her hand?

Paul who didn't want to swim just one week before is ok today to commit suicide in "poop water".

Is there anything sensible on that show? For God's sake.

She probably felt safer with the camera crew following her around.   Although they seemed pretty useless (I loved how no one even got close to her or tried to protect her when a DUDE WITH A MACHETE ran up to her.)