The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

A 28 year old 'best friend' doesn't move in with your family. They also don't travel with the family on family trips and they don't go out of state for their friends's sister's labor & delivery. Something is just not right there.

I agree. If Laura was really their tutor, she would've been at the TTH tutoring while Jana, Jessa and Michelle traveled to Laredo. Not to mention she bunks in the girls' dorm. I know Fundies don't have the same sense of boundaries as the rest of us, but it's really not appropriate for a family employee to be sharing a bedroom with ten year-olds. I know girls who worked as live-in nannies and they always had their own bedroom and bathroom, and in some cases, an entire guest house to themselves. The whole situation is bizarre. 

[Scarlett45]

3 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Also in the real world, it's not unusual for a woman in her twenties to hang out with her best friend and go on vacations with her. It probably looks normal to people who don't know much about the family!

Raises hand! My Bff is single Mom to a 3yrs old. We now look like a multi ethnic same sex couple with her being the birth mom. ?

[Zella]

In the past on here, there has been speculation she is an accountability partner/glorified spy. I kinda lean toward that theory. 

[lascuba]

16 minutes ago, Zella said:

In the past on here, there has been speculation she is an accountability partner/glorified spy. I kinda lean toward that theory. 

Yeah, I go back and forth on who's the glorified spy, Laura or Jana (along with the rest of the Duggars). I just don't think those two are actual friends. Laura is there to tutor the kids and/or as some kind of punishment/Duggar-home as a JTTH for her and/or as an accountability partner for Jana. I don't think they dislike each other or anything like that, but I think that the "Jana's friend" spin is something the family/TLC came up with to explain Laura's constant presence and to make Jana seem more normal to those who complain that she has nothing and no one in her life other than her sibling, who she has to take care of. In that light, it's hilarious that the whole think has backfired on them so spectacularly and now Laura has to publicly deny dating Jana. You know if she felt the need to do that, the Duggars have been well aware of the rumors.

Edited September 23, 2018 by lascuba

[Zella]

Just now, lascuba said:

Yeah, I go back and forth on who's the glorified spy, Laura or Jana (along with the rest of the Duggars). I just don't think those two are actual friends. Laura is there to tutor the kids and/or as some kind of punishment/Duggar-home as a JTTH for her and/or as an accountability partner for Jana. I don't think they dislike each other or anything like that, but I think that the "Jana's friend" spin is something the family/TLC came up with to explain Laura's constant presence and to make Jana seem more normal to those who complain that she has nothing and no one in her family other than her sibling, who she has to take care of. In that light, it's hilarious that the whole think has backfired on them so spectacularly and now Laura has to publicly deny dating Jana. You know if she felt the need to do that, the Duggars have been well aware of the rumors.

Oooh I had always thought of it as Laura being the spy, but you're right--it could just as well be Jana. Or mutual spying. 

But I agree that her presence is odd, and them being "friends" is cover. Not saying they're not friends, but the whole thing seems so weird. I have quite a few close friends. I would never move into their parents' homes to live with them, and they would not do the same with me, either. 

[lascuba]

3 minutes ago, Zella said:

Oooh I had always thought of it as Laura being the spy, but you're right--it could just as well be Jana. Or mutual spying. 

But I agree that her presence is odd, and them being "friends" is cover. Not saying they're not friends, but the whole thing seems so weird. I have quite a few close friends. I would never move into their parents' homes to live with them, and they would not do the same with me, either. 

Fundies are so weird. We're likely just overthinking this. The "simplest" explanation is that she's the children's teacher but the Duggars just can't admit that because 1) Arkansas requires that parents (or other immediate family members?) be the ones to teach homeschooled children, and 2)they don't want to mess with the image (that no one but the most fanatic leghumpers buy) that Michelle (and Jana) does it all. 

[Zella]

1 minute ago, lascuba said:

Fundies are so weird. We're likely just overthinking this. The "simplest" explanation is that she's the children's teacher but the Duggars just can't admit that because 1) Arkansas requires that parents (or other immediate family members?) be the ones to teach homeschooled children, and 2)they don't want to mess with the image (that no one but the most fanatic leghumpers buy) that Michelle (and Jana) does it all. 

That's true! If I thought they read Jane Austen, I might assume it was some weird holdover from the Regency period where they think these poor single ladies might like a nice change of scenery and want to spend a lot of time with distant relations and acquaintances. 

I also think it may be a tone-deaf attempt by the Duggars to prove Jana has a life and isn't a Cinderella figure. Of course, they completely miss the reality of the situation: normal people can have friends that don't share a home with them. 

[Temperance]

I think Laura is a tutor and a nanny as well. Her duties include when "School" is not in session. 

In the real world, it would perfectly normal to me if Laura and Jana were roommates/housemates/flatmates, etc. A lot of my friends lived with other people of the same gender and age prior to marriage. For example, Laura, Jana, and Sarah or Anna Maxwell living in a house or appartment together would be really common, especially among people who don't believe in couples living together before marriage. Living with Jana's parents and her many siblings is not common among people. 

[andromeda331]

39 minutes ago, Zella said:

That's true! If I thought they read Jane Austen, I might assume it was some weird holdover from the Regency period where they think these poor single ladies might like a nice change of scenery and want to spend a lot of time with distant relations and acquaintances. 

I also think it may be a tone-deaf attempt by the Duggars to prove Jana has a life and isn't a Cinderella figure. Of course, they completely miss the reality of the situation: normal people can have friends that don't share a home with them. 

Now that sounds like the Duggars! "We'll let Laura live with us and go on trips when Jana goes on trips or visits Jinger to show she's not really Cinderella. She's just a normal 28 year old!" When actually all they have to do is show Jana and Laura going out to lunch together or Jana not holding a baby all the time, or taking care of something. Take a picture of her not holding a baby. Show her hanging out with Laura. Its really not that hard and yet the Duggars have never been able to do just that. They show a picture of Jana leaving the house....but with a bunch of kids with her. They show her always holding a baby or toddler. Even when they try to "show" Jessa and Ben taking their kids to Jinger all on their own. We still find out Jana's with them but they don't show her. Or take a picture of Jana and her sisters and Laura and she's still the one holding a kid.  

[Zella]

7 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

Now that sounds like the Duggars! "We'll let Laura live with us and go on trips when Jana goes on trips or visits Jinger to show she's not really Cinderella. She's just a normal 28 year old!" When actually all they have to do is show Jana and Laura going out to lunch together or Jana not holding a baby all the time, or taking care of something. Take a picture of her not holding a baby. Show her hanging out with Laura. Its really not that hard and yet the Duggars have never been able to do just that. They show a picture of Jana leaving the house....but with a bunch of kids with her. They show her always holding a baby or toddler. Even when they try to "show" Jessa and Ben taking their kids to Jinger all on their own. We still find out Jana's with them but they don't show her. Or take a picture of Jana and her sisters and Laura and she's still the one holding a kid.  

Exactly! It astonishes me that they have been on TV for years, literally, and are so oblivious when it comes to optics. 

[GeeGolly]

Maybe this has been asked and answered... Where did Laura live, or her family live? Maybe she's living with the Duggars because she needs to. I thought she worked for some media branch of ATI or IBLmnop or something. 

When I was growing up we had a cousin living with us while she was in college. We lived closer to the college, so she saved money by living 'at home' and avoided a lengthy commute.

[ginger90]

I

Under references:

 

http://iblp.org/news/liberty-captives

[Churchhoney]

2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

 

Under references:

 

http://iblp.org/news/liberty-captives

Well, visiting the Duggarlings DOES have a lot in common with visiting a prison. Is this a sign that even the IBLP thinks the Duggs should loosen the chains on those kids? 

[awaken]

And, even if it’s IBLP, she apparently worked at a job outside the home!  

[Lunera]

18 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Maybe this has been asked and answered... Where did Laura live, or her family live? Maybe she's living with the Duggars because she needs to.

Lauren's family is from Indianapolis. She has 2 married sisters and a brother who got engaged in August.

 I think her father passed away but her mother bought a home a few years ago, so she has a place she could go back to. Idk how she got involved with IBLP, her family seems normal from what I saw on Facebook. 

Edited September 24, 2018 by Lunera

[Sew Sumi]

Laura's IG is private. 

[Temperance]

Wow! Those pictures. I too can't believe she got involved in IBLP independently from her family, especially as a single woman. I have always gotten the sense that Laura is a way different person from Tabitha Paine, whose job she seems to have. She seems more spirited and spunky and also a little more in touch with the non-fundie world. At least if the rumors about her and Jana cause her to leave, she will have plenty of options in terms of what to do next (meaning more than someone whose whole family is into IBLP).  I don't really believe the rumors, but it would be nice if she helps Jana leave anyway. 

Edited September 24, 2018 by Temperance

[BitterApple]

Laura's a cute girl. Why the hell is she frittering her life away working for the Duggars?

[Christina87]

Has it been mentioned on the show that Laura lives with them? I was thinking that she was just filmed "hanging out" with the family and going on trips (though yeah, the trip for Jinger's labor with a friend is weird). If you were just a casual viewer, you might just assume Laura was capitalizing on the opportunity to be on the show by alllllways being around during filming. After all, on other reality shows where the characters actually have friends, some of them seem to be in every. Freaking. Scene. For $$. I think the show has done an okay job of making Laura look like part of the crowd / just a regular friend who doesn't live there...BUT the family's Instagram accounts totally betray that normalcy. Anyone with half a brain who follows them knows the story. 

[BitterApple]

There was a picture taken in the girls' dorm a little while back and "Laura" was stenciled on one of the headboards. I don't know why she isn't in the downstairs bedroom or out in the guesthouse.

[Fosca]

Because she's female.  And females have to be protected from prowling males by locking all the females in one big bedroom at night.  The family learned that well.  Besides, it's easier for her to help Jana with the little girls if she's in the same room as them.

[lascuba]

Maybe Laura is a Duggar "success" story in that they saved her from a life of not being sufficiently fanatical, and that's why she lives with them? If her family isn't IBLP or otherwise fundie, she might fell like she's struck gold by getting to live with the Duggars and have a godly "umbrella of protection" over her.

[doodlebug]

3 hours ago, lascuba said:

Maybe Laura is a Duggar "success" story in that they saved her from a life of not being sufficiently fanatical, and that's why she lives with them? If her family isn't IBLP or otherwise fundie, she might fell like she's struck gold by getting to live with the Duggars and have a godly "umbrella of protection" over her.

I think this could be true.  If Laura is IBLP and her family is not, she may need someone who is part of the cult to be her 'headship' so that she doesn't become contaminated by their heathen ways.  Or, maybe since she is an adult, her parents told her she needed to get a job and either get her own place or pay them rent.  Since she is such a Godly young Gothard maiden, she could have been reluctant to get a job outside of the cult and she surely could not move out and live on her own.  What would Jesus think?  So, after getting a gig at IBLP headquarters for pocket money and probably living under their 'umbrella of protection', she is now under JimBob's umbrella and he gives her a pittance but provides her with room and board in the girls' dorm.   After all, who is going to give her permission to court when the time comes if her parents aren't drinking that Kool-Aid?

 And, of course, they don't discuss the actual arrangement on the show because most of us would find it appalling.

[GeeGolly]

Well this just got interesting. Do we know if the DeMasies are religiously conservative like Cathy B?

Mollieeee, @Mollie, Detective Mollie can you add to what @Lunera posted?

[Lunera]

20 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Well this just got interesting. Do we know if the DeMasies are religiously conservative like Cathy B?

Mollieeee, @Mollie, Detective Mollie can you add to what @Lunera posted?

I wasn't able to find much but I don't think they are conservative. Her siblings don't update their FB often but some of them follow some same sex couples and very liberal people. Her sister Bethany danced at her wedding. Her brother is engaged to a girl who wears mini skirts and pants. Her sister Caryn owns a salon and spa in Indiana. The bottom picture popped up when I Googled her name, it's from a boating competition from when she was a teen. 

[BitterApple]

I see cleavage. Definitely not a Fundie family.

[kalamac]

I've never understood any woman who would willingly leave a life where she has agency over herself to join a system that makes women subservient to men, especially given the character of a lot of those men.

[lascuba]

39 minutes ago, kalamac said:

I've never understood any woman who would willingly leave a life where she has agency over herself to join a system that makes women subservient to men, especially given the character of a lot of those men.

Internalized misogyny is a hell of a drug. You can't have patriarchy without willing victims. 

[asuwur]

You know...all this Jana/Laura stuff and people's desire for a romantic liaison between the two shows how far we've come. It reminds me of how a few years ago I heard my then 18ish year old daughter laughing hysterically at some TV show. "Mom! You've gotta come see this show about these 2 lesbians! Its hilarious!" I couldn't place what she was talking about. I yelled up for more info.. She responded that it looked like it was made in the 70s or 80s but set in the 50s....one of them always wears a an "L" on her clothes. I yelled up, "That's "Laverne and Shirley". They're not lesbians.  They're best friends." She shot back that maybe not then but nowadays they'd be set in Vermont raising labradoodles and running a bed and breakfast. (Perhaps they could have taken over the Stratford Inn from "Newhart"; My thought; my daughter has no awareness of Newhart and Larry, Darryl and Darryl)...We are not perfect but wow, we've come so far in acceptance in the mainstream that what would be a scandal 20 years ago doesn't even blip the radar.

My point is I find it almost impossible to believe Jana is anything other than straight as an arrow and in need of friends her own age who don't bring more children to watch into the equation.

Watching her look at Garrett yesterday, she gave me a vibe of being the village elder/wise woman. They hand over the baby. She inspects said baby. Blesses the baby in some way and hands the kid back. The most powerful woman in her village and usually without a kid of her own because the whole village is composed of "her" children. I think that sort of fits. It's an ancient feminine power that men like JB will never even notice or appreciate. 

[Nysha]

I agree I don't think Jana is in a relationship with Laura. I think Laura probably needed a job or place to live, so she was hired to replace Tabitha Payne and she and Jana became friends. 

I think if Jana was unsatisfied with her current life or status, she'd leave. She has more skills than the other girls and seems to be surer of herself than the other girls. She has carved out her own identity, not just putting in a garden, but fixing it up to look nice and be a relaxing area. The last episode showed that she is more competitive and snarky than previously shown, with hints of maturity that is missing in most of the Duggars.  

[Temperance]

Jana has a dog named Willow. 

[mynextmistake]

On 9/23/2018 at 2:27 AM, ginger90 said:

I

Under references:

 

http://iblp.org/news/liberty-captives

Laura is 33. If she’s been involved in COMMIT conferences since 2000, she was only 15 when she became IBLP. Her family might not be super-fundie, but i’m guessing that parents who weren’t some degree of conservative Christian wouldn’t let their teenage daughter drink enough of the Koolaid to become an active participant in IBLP programming.

[GeeGolly]

6 hours ago, mynextmistake said:

Laura is 33. If she’s been involved in COMMIT conferences since 2000, she was only 15 when she became IBLP. Her family might not be super-fundie, but i’m guessing that parents who weren’t some degree of conservative Christian wouldn’t let their teenage daughter drink enough of the Koolaid to become an active participant in IBLP programming.

I'm guessing you're right. Maybe the family pulled away and only Laura remains connected with the cult? With the Duggar children flying the coop every few months, maybe they should advertise themselves as an Adult Fundy Foster Family.

https://iblp.org/seminars-conferences/commit-conferences

COMMIT Conferences are "Mother/Daughter Conference for young ladies aged 12–17 and their moms".

Edited September 29, 2018 by GeeGolly

[ginger90]

7 hours ago, Temperance said:

Jana has a dog named Willow. 

I recall Jackson taking Willow to obedience classes?

Looked for it, training, not obedience:

 

An InTouch Video has these:

[ginger90]

[Christina87]

I'm glad to see Jackson taking the doggie to obedience classes! It's nice to see one of them take on an interest that has nothing to do with jeeeeeesus. 

[BitterApple]

9 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I'm glad to see Jackson taking the doggie to obedience classes! It's nice to see one of them take on an interest that has nothing to do with jeeeeeesus. 

That's the first time I've ever seen a Duggar pay attention to an animal.

[queenanne]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I'm guessing you're right. Maybe the family pulled away and only Laura remains connected with the cult? With the Duggar children flying the coop every few months, maybe they should advertise themselves as an Adult Fundy Foster Family.

https://iblp.org/seminars-conferences/commit-conferences

COMMIT Conferences are "Mother/Daughter Conference for young ladies aged 12–17 and their moms".

I dunno, I wouldn't be surprised if IBLP "got" Laura because her family was already friends with the Duggars (though that in itself requires a certain sameness of worldview, I suppose), or similar young teen girl, and the girl invited her.  I bet people inviting other people to church youth group functions is even more prevalent in the South.

[kokapetl]

5 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I recall Jackson taking Willow to obedience classes?

Looked for it, training, not obedience:

 

An InTouch Video has these:

 

5 hours ago, ginger90 said:

And people say InTouch aren’t lazy parasites. 

Edited September 29, 2018 by kokapetl

[queenanne]

4 hours ago, kokapetl said:

 

And people say InTouch aren’t lazy parasites. 

What I'm most struck by is, Jessa calls her sister Jana "Aunt"?  Jana isn't Jackson's aunt, either.  I don't necessarily think there's anything "wrong" with that, I'm just always struck by the thought processes behind, who adopts the phrasing of someone else's family role (i.e., what Jessa would tell Spurgeon and Henry to call Jana)?  If I'm talking to a first cousin, do I write "Dad" for my father?  Do I call him "Uncle With Same-Name-as-Your-Dad" (true story, my mother and aunt both married men with the same name, which makes it even more confusing), because my father = my cousin's uncle?  Do I refer to my own father as, "your Uncle Same-Name"?  Is this one, simply "Jessa working on manners for Spurgeon and Henry" mode?  Is it "Jessa identifies so little with Jana that she thinks the primary relationship, is the relationship Jana has with Jessa's children?"

[DangerousMinds]

"Aunt Jana" also stood out to me as bizarre.

[ginger90]

18 minutes ago, queenanne said:

What I'm most struck by is, Jessa calls her sister Jana "Aunt"?  Jana isn't Jackson's aunt, either.  I don't necessarily think there's anything "wrong" with that, I'm just always struck by the thought processes behind, who adopts the phrasing of someone else's family role (i.e., what Jessa would tell Spurgeon and Henry to call Jana)?  If I'm talking to a first cousin, do I write "Dad" for my father?  Do I call him "Uncle With Same-Name-as-Your-Dad" (true story, my mother and aunt both married men with the same name, which makes it even more confusing), because my father = my cousin's uncle?  Do I refer to my own father as, "your Uncle Same-Name"?  Is this one, simply "Jessa working on manners for Spurgeon and Henry" mode?  Is it "Jessa identifies so little with Jana that she thinks the primary relationship, is the relationship Jana has with Jessa's children?"

There was a picture of Spurgeon with the dog. The question about getting a dog  was asked of Jessa, so I guess that’s why she answered that way.

Here’s the article with the full video:

 

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/jana-duggar-dog-167095.amp

[Temperance]

1 minute ago, ginger90 said:

There was a picture of Spurgeon with the dog. The question about getting a dog  was asked of Jessa, so I guess that’s why she answered that way.

Here’s the article with the full video:

 

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/jana-duggar-dog-167095.amp

Just going to post about the picture of Spurgeon with the dog. Not unusual considering Jessa was talking about her son. 

Edited September 29, 2018 by Temperance

[madpsych78]

OK, this reminds me of Sarah Maxwell who has a dog and a cat (Ellie and Arnold?).

[Sew Sumi]

Devoted SAHDs are now rewarded with animal companions? E

[cmr2014]

Actually, the thing that stands out to me is that it's "Jana's" dog. This is the first thing that has made me believe that Jana might not be living at the TTH. If Jana and Willow were living at the TTH, it would be a family dog -- they might say something like "oh, haha, it's Jana's dog. She follows Jana around all the time" but she wouldn't be Jana's dog. No one is allowed to own anything or have anything of their own at the TTH. Even if people were allowed to have anything of their own, Jana can't have a dog -- what if someone wants to "court" her, and he didn't like dogs? If Jackson is the one taking it to obedience class, and they're still calling it "Jana's dog," I think that's actually a big deal.

[Temperance]

6 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

OK, this reminds me of Sarah Maxwell who has a dog and a cat (Ellie and Arnold).

Those are their names. The dog is Sarah's, but the cat is Teri's (Sarah's mother) or the family's. Also I hope Willow is not being used to make money like Sarah's dog. 

Edited September 30, 2018 by Temperance

[floridamom]

I had the same thought here...if Willow is JANA'S dog, shouldn't it have been Jana who was at the obedience class instead of Jackson? What was HE doing there?

[Churchhoney]

Maybe it's "Jana's dog" because Jana's the only one who feeds it, waters it, buys it food, walks it, picks up its poop in a plastic bag, brushes it, bathes it, doesn't torment it or pull its ears or step on its paws or throw bottles at it. Etc. 

17 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

"Aunt Jana" also stood out to me as bizarre.

Does Jessa perhaps talk so little to anybody but her kids but so constantly to them that she puts everything in their terms? I mean... with Jingle gone....and with her kind of treating Bin like a child, how much non-Spurge-and-Henry conversing does she actually do? She sees Sierra and Dissembling Taco Woman once or twice a year these days, maybe?

[Zella]

I think the dog is probably a token gift/manipulation tactic, and it functions, more or less, as a family dog, but Jana gets to claim it.

My mother and her asshole husband--the one I've mentioned on here before who took a kid's computer in a briefcase to court--bought me a dog for my birthday or Christmas when I was a kid. I don't remember the occasion, but I distinctly remember it was for me. Then the first minute I did something he didn't like it, I was informed by both him and my mother that it really wasn't my dog. But then later, it would be mine, depending on their collective mood. 

I doubt it's that extreme with the Duggars, but I could easily see it as something her parents allow as her dog in name, both as a "reward" for being a dutiful daughter who does the bulk of the work around the house and also, in their minds, as proof of what good, magnanimous parents they are. But it's not really her dog in the traditional sense that someone would consider their dog. 

Edited to add: It probably also works as an incentive to the younger kids still at home. Look at what obedience to Mom and Dad get you! (Theoretically. But don't ask for a dog of your own. Just know one day you might be allowed one. But not anytime soon.)

Edited September 30, 2018 by Zella