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S03.E03: The Focus Group


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Grace feeling the vibrator and getting the sudden urge to "call her cousin" was hilarious; they’re making sex toys, candidly discussing the results the next morning, but she doesn’t just say, “I’m going to go try this thing out; see you in the morning.”  It’s totally Grace to still have these moments.

Frankie mouthing, “What the fuck?” to Grace when the women’s group started praying was great.  “What are we going to do?”  “There’s a strong rip current today, I’m going to walk right into the ocean and be on my way to Hawaii.”  But my absolute favorite was Frankie saying, “Let me handle it.  I have been waiting my whole life to talk to a bunch of Bible thumpers about my naughty bits.”

I knew that friend of Grace’s was going to take one home with her – and that the others would come around.  But it was still funny.  “You two are doing god’s work.”

“Silent man with spittoon” as a proposed role for Sol made me laugh out loud.

I’m a total Brianna about kids, and it was a dick move for Mallory to just show up to what is supposed to be lunch for the two of them with her kids (call and say there was a sitter mix-up and give Brianna the option to either reschedule or have the kids along), but I agree that, as her sister, Brianna needs to dial back several notches with her open disdain (but she doesn’t have to pretend she actually enjoys being around little kids; she doesn’t, and that’s fine).  I love Grace and Brianna bonding over the fact Mallory has too damn many kids, so when she calls they hope she’s not asking them to watch them.

“Suck it up and be nice about the kids.”
“All of them?!”
“Pick two to start.”

I like the conversation Mallory and Brianna wound up having.

If Sol isn’t yet ready to retire completely, that’s fine.  Why does he have to just because Robert did?  Their friend, with his, “All I’ve ever wanted to be is retired” annoyed me – good for him.  Sol feels differently.  Move on.  Plus, it’s their own firm, that they’ve spent their lives building; it’s not like putting in your papers and collecting your gold watch from some corporation you don’t give a shit about.  To that end, I’m not sure how believable I find it that Robert just up and retired in such short order, but I guess since he knows Sol is still there part time to help with the transition, and that the transition is to Bud, it works.   I'd like to see Bud at work, with them retired. 

Edited by Bastet
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I find Robert's desire to retire pretty believable, myself. He's had a major health scare and bypass surgery which kept him out of the law firm for quite some time. Then he and Sol had their dust up. I don't find it at all hard to believe he's re-evaluated what he wants to do with the rest of his life - especially since he can well afford to do what he wants. And he wants to be able to stop and watch the hummingbirds.

Also, he wasn't having fun at work anymore, so why not stop if you have the luxury of being able to.

Their new house is my dream house. I didn't know it was my dream house until I saw it.

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I wasn't questioning his urge to retire, just the speed at which he went from deciding to retire to being 100% gone, since he's a partner, but then noting that the fact his husband is the other partner, leading the transition, and his stepson is the one taking over makes it a lot easier to move that quickly.

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6 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I wasn't questioning his urge to retire, just the speed at which he went from deciding to retire to being 100% gone, since he's a partner, but then noting that the fact his husband is the other partner, leading the transition, and his stepson is the one taking over makes it a lot easier to move that quickly.

Oh, sorry. Misinterpreted the comment. I agree that it did seem to go fast - I just assumed a minor time jump.

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I love kids, but I'm completely with Brianna on other people bringing their kids everywhere.  When mine were little, like baby and toddler age, there were a number of restaurants that instituted a no-child policy.  I remember my mom friends having a freak out over this, but I was all, "Get me a babysitter and get me a reservation, please!"  

Beyond that, the G&F story line with the prayer group was hilarious, which isn't surprising.  However, I really have no interest in Sol and Robert and Robert as John Adams.  Unless this ends up involving G&F in some way, I probably won't ever be interested (and I really love musicals....)

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Since I love this series I hate to knock it but, grown women not knowing what to do with a penis shaped vibbrator in their hand?   Written for a comedic moment, I get that. 

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9 hours ago, OtterMommy said:

I love kids, but I'm completely with Brianna on other people bringing their kids everywhere.

I only took mine to noisy, "family friendly" restaurants, but I would never have taken them on a girlfriend/sister lunch, unless the other person had children she was bringing too.

4 hours ago, wings707 said:

Since I love this series I hate to knock it but, grown women not knowing what to do with a penis shaped vibbrator in their hand?   Written for a comedic moment, I get that.

Umm, well, this grown woman (younger than Grace and Frankie, but old enough to be the target buyers) looked at it and thought I'd need an instruction manual. It looked a little big for vaginal insertion for my aging, fragile, vaginal walls. The rotating head, though, was pretty clear.

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18 minutes ago, Clanstarling said:

Umm, well, this grown woman (younger than Grace and Frankie, but old enough to be the target buyers) looked at it and thought I'd need an instruction manual. It looked a little big for vaginal insertion for my aging, fragile, vaginal walls. The rotating head, though, was pretty clear.

It was way too big and spiked (oh hell no) on purpose for effect.    I do not need a manual ;^)

Edited by wings707
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4 hours ago, Clanstarling said:

I only took mine to noisy, "family friendly" restaurants, but I would never have taken them on a girlfriend/sister lunch, unless the other person had children she was bringing too.

 

Yeah, I did take to my kids to places where things were more family friendly.  I was talking about nicer restaurants around.  There were also a lot of day spas at the time (they might still be around, who knows?) where their big selling point is that you could bring your young kids with you....and they never got my business.  Sorry, the last thing I want while getting a massage or a mani/pedi was to keep an eye on my kids.

As for the bringing the kids to the lunch--I liken that to a situation (which has happened to me) where you make plans with a friend you hadn't seen for a while for lunch or what not....and they show up with one of their friends, who might only barely know.  This is usually accompanied with something like, "Oh, you don't mind, do you?  So-and-so is having a hard time right now."  In other words...it's the worst.  You don't get your chance to reconnect with this friend, something you had been looking forward to, and you probably also feel like a third (or, 4th, in Brianna's case, wheel).

*Not that I'm bitter or anything....

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5 hours ago, Clanstarling said:

I only took mine to noisy, "family friendly" restaurants, but I would never have taken them on a girlfriend/sister lunch, unless the other person had children she was bringing too.

Umm, well, this grown woman (younger than Grace and Frankie, but old enough to be the target buyers) looked at it and thought I'd need an instruction manual. It looked a little big for vaginal insertion for my aging, fragile, vaginal walls. The rotating head, though, was pretty clear.

My cousin and I, both in our twenties, were watching this episode and wondering how it was supposed to work, because it looks double-ended. Then my mother mortifyingly jumped in and pointed out you can probably use either end, depending on what mood you're in.

Edited by EarlGreyTea
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1 hour ago, OtterMommy said:

I bet you were just waiting to be able to make that comment!  ;-D

Yep. Though it took me a few revisions to perfect.

52 minutes ago, OtterMommy said:

As for the bringing the kids to the lunch--I liken that to a situation (which has happened to me) where you make plans with a friend you hadn't seen for a while for lunch or what not....and they show up with one of their friends, who might only barely know.  This is usually accompanied with something like, "Oh, you don't mind, do you?  So-and-so is having a hard time right now."  In other words...it's the worst.

Had that happen once where my friend brought her husband. Her. Husband.

 

7 minutes ago, EarlGreyTea said:

My cousin and I, both in our twenties, were watching this episode and wondering how it was supposed to work, because it looks double-ended. Then my mother mortifyingly jumped in and pointed out you can probably use either end, depending on what mood you're in.

Thank you. Your mom sounds like me (mortifying my 20something year old daughters with sex talk - it's lots of fun).

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2 hours ago, OtterMommy said:

Yeah, I did take to my kids to places where things were more family friendly.  I was talking about nicer restaurants around.  There were also a lot of day spas at the time (they might still be around, who knows?) where their big selling point is that you could bring your young kids with you....and they never got my business.  Sorry, the last thing I want while getting a massage or a mani/pedi was to keep an eye on my kids.

As for the bringing the kids to the lunch--I liken that to a situation (which has happened to me) where you make plans with a friend you hadn't seen for a while for lunch or what not....and they show up with one of their friends, who might only barely know.  This is usually accompanied with something like, "Oh, you don't mind, do you?  So-and-so is having a hard time right now."  In other words...it's the worst.  You don't get your chance to reconnect with this friend, something you had been looking forward to, and you probably also feel like a third (or, 4th, in Brianna's case, wheel).

*Not that I'm bitter or anything....

My best friend used to do this with her boyfriend (now husband). I like her husband a lot but sometimes you want girl talk, you know? There were a bunch of times that we'd set up brunch or dinner plans and I didn't know he'd be there. And lunch with two infants (!) is VERY different than lunch with just adults so I was with Brianna on that, and I agree that kids do not belong everywhere (don't get me started with kids in bars). I like kids but I don't like infants, so I would not have been into that at all. A friend of mine is pregnant with her second, due in a few weeks, and I was like "I'll watch your daughter [who is two] while you deal with the baby, until the baby starts walking. Then you can tag me in for him." 

I hate the notion that if a woman doesn't want kids, she's broken. Sometimes women (and men, but no one cares when men say it) just don't want kids. Nothing wrong with it.

"HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU MASTURBATE? Praise his name." I love Frankie.

7 hours ago, wings707 said:

It was way too big and spiked (oh hell no) on purpose for effect.    I do not need a manual ;^)

I actually have seen toys that big in person. And I'm sure the spikes were soft and pliable - the intention is likely similar to that of the ribbed condom (although I've heard those are painful for the woman).

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2 hours ago, Clanstarling said:

Had that happen once where my friend brought her husband. Her. Husband.

Oh god, that reminds of when I once was with my coworker in our workplace and her husband happened to be there.  I asked her a work-related question and he answered it.  I was flabbergasted.  I mean speaking for your wife is one thing and speaking for her about something you have no involvement in is a whole new level of I don't know what.  

Peter describing how Sol danced like a horse that had just been born was hilarious! I loved how he demonstrated it.  Also, "you slept with Grace?!!" was funny followed by "you slept with Peter?!?"

I was surprised that Grace went ahead with the vibrator pitch and didn't just scrap it when she heard they were a church group.  Although I think it was cool they went in that direction and the ladies will be trying it out.  I thought the spiky part was just the handle!

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On 3/24/2017 at 9:19 PM, OtterMommy said:

However, I really have no interest in Sol and Robert and Robert as John Adams.  Unless this ends up involving G&F in some way, I probably won't ever be interested (and I really love musicals....)

I think they need to make Sol and Robert's stories more engaging. They seem to have gotten a little lazy with them. However, I want to see Martin Sheen as Robert as John Adams. I didn't know he could sing, and I look forward to whatever bit they show.

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I recognized the woman leader from the focus group as an actress from The Middle. She is great there too as a neighbor and I hope they show her again. (Jen Ray) I thought it was a funny show. Sometimes it's too much just "Grace and Frankie" and it's good to have other strong people to play off of.

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18 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I hate the notion that if a woman doesn't want kids, she's broken. Sometimes women (and men, but no one cares when men say it) just don't want kids. Nothing wrong with it.

As a woman who never wanted kids, I agree with you. However, I do think Brianna is pretty clearly broken, lack of interest in having kids aside. It would be nice if they explored that a little more. 

Edited by Jillybean
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On March 25, 2017 at 5:05 AM, wings707 said:

Since I love this series I hate to knock it but, grown women not knowing what to do with a penis shaped vibbrator in their hand?   Written for a comedic moment, I get that. 

Girl, I had to explain to my mom what it was and what you do with it when my dad left her, as that was not the kind of thing she ever thought to explore.  

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13 hours ago, debraran said:

I recognized the woman leader from the focus group as an actress from The Middle. She is great there too as a neighbor and I hope they show her again.

Marsha Mason plays Frankie's mother on The Middle. Although I honestly don't think she looks much older than Patricia Heaton.

As for Brianna, I understand her disappointment that Mallory brought the kids along. But not knowing their names was ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with her not wanting to have kids, and there's nothing wrong with not enjoying the company of infants, but the way that Brianna handled the situation was over-the-top enough that I think Mallory's comments were somewhat justified.

Edited by Blakeston
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I was wondering why the vibrator had to be for masturbation.  Couldn't these ladies all use them with their husbands? Or were they all widow's? 

I get bored with Robert and Sol. 

Edited by KIMIKO
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I'm 66. Never married and no children. I was a career girl from way back with no interest in marriage or children. (It's a cross I bear).  My sister has oodles of children and grandchildren. I call and ask, "How about lunch?" I'm so tired of "I have to bring Lisa. She's off school with a sore throat today." Not only do I not want Lisa (or Bobby, or Jen, or Ally,...), I certainly don't want her sore throat. Fortunately, I'm a pretty direct person. I don't lie to protect feelings. I say, "No thanks" and she knows why. I love 'em, but there's a reason I don't have 'em.

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4 hours ago, Ina123 said:

I'm 66. Never married and no children. I was a career girl from way back with no interest in marriage or children. (It's a cross I bear).  My sister has oodles of children and grandchildren. I call and ask, "How about lunch?" I'm so tired of "I have to bring Lisa. She's off school with a sore throat today." Not only do I not want Lisa (or Bobby, or Jen, or Ally,...), I certainly don't want her sore throat. Fortunately, I'm a pretty direct person. I don't lie to protect feelings. I say, "No thanks" and she knows why. I love 'em, but there's a reason I don't have 'em.

Second pet peeve - bringing sick kids along to something. At least your sister tells you. I've lost track of the times I've met up with someone only to find out they are sick, or there's someone deathly ill (and not confined to their bed) in their house.

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2 minutes ago, Clanstarling said:

Second pet peeve - bringing sick kids along to something. At least your sister tells you. I've lost track of the times I've met up with someone only to find out they are sick, or there's someone deathly ill (and not confined to their bed) in their house.

That's probably my number 1 parenting peeve.  I'm lucky in that the parents of my kids' classmates are pretty considerate in this regard and I haven't had an issue at school.  However, I remember once when my kids were younger and I was checking them into the child care at the gym and another mom came in with a child slightly older than mine and said that she had to bring her in today because she was too sick to go to school.  The gym got a not so friendly response from me about that....  (AND....my kids got sick!)

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18 minutes ago, OtterMommy said:

That's probably my number 1 parenting peeve.  I'm lucky in that the parents of my kids' classmates are pretty considerate in this regard and I haven't had an issue at school.  However, I remember once when my kids were younger and I was checking them into the child care at the gym and another mom came in with a child slightly older than mine and said that she had to bring her in today because she was too sick to go to school.  The gym got a not so friendly response from me about that....  (AND....my kids got sick!)

A friend of mine belonged to some group that shared babysitting. One of them watched her older child when she was in labor and delivered her second child. She then charged her for the hours  and demanded my friend babysit her toddler the day she came home from the hospital with her newborn. Her kid was sick with a 101 fever. Couldn't believe the balls on that woman. I could not believe my friend did it, or that she stayed in the group.

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Go Mallory!  I'm so glad someone told Brianna off.  Her character is now my second favorite child.

On 3/26/2017 at 9:34 AM, Jillybean said:

As a woman who never wanted kids, I agree with you. However, I do think Brianna is pretty clearly broken, lack of interest in having kids aside. It would be nice if they explored that a little more. 

Oh gosh, the last thing I'm interested in seeing is any more Brianna on my screen.  

I don't need to know why she is an insufferable bitch, I just want to see the back of her everytime she is on screen.

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On 3/26/2017 at 3:14 PM, Blakeston said:

Marsha Mason plays Frankie's mother on The Middle. Although I honestly don't think she looks much older than Patricia Heaton.

As for Brianna, I understand her disappointment that Mallory brought the kids along. But not knowing their names was ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with her not wanting to have kids, and there's nothing wrong with not enjoying the company of infants, but the way that Brianna handled the situation was over-the-top enough that I think Mallory's comments were somewhat justified.

I think you're putting Brianna's comments kindly, and I think Mallory's reaction was 100% justified.  

I've been waiting for someone to call Brianna out, I get tired of her smug sarcasm and condescension.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, there is nothing wrong with having kids.  There is something wrong with being a complete asshole about someone who hasn't made the same decision as you.

My sister has two children that take up a lot of her time, and I realize that while she is an amazing sister, I have to get in where I fit in.  Sometimes that means I have to talk around her kids, or wait until she is done taking them to one of their activities, or whatever else.  Its selfish to think that you're owed someone's time under any circumstances.

Yes, Mallory should have called....but she was probably trying her best to both make time for her bitch of a sister and watch her children because her babysitter cancelled.  She can't just drop her kids off on the corner and pick them up in a few hours, and I'm not sure Brianna would have felt any better with a last minute cancellation if she needed the sisterly support.

But instead of trying to have a pleasant attitude and make it work or reschedule -- she immediately went into insufferable bitch mode.

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I think this discussion reflects how nuanced the writing for the show is. It's easy to identify with either Brianna or Mallory depending on our own experiences and situation in life and at the same time feel challenged because we may not like what we see (the same goes for Grace and Frankie most of the time). I appreciate that the show gives us this scenarios. The only thing I did not like about the confrontation in the office was Brianna not knowing the kids' names - that was hyperbole for hyperbole's sake (maybe it was supposed to be a joke but the line reading did not give me that impression).

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5 hours ago, MissLucas said:

The only thing I did not like about the confrontation in the office was Brianna not knowing the kids' names - that was hyperbole for hyperbole's sake (maybe it was supposed to be a joke but the line reading did not give me that impression).

This show is a comedy so  situations and characters are exaggerated and some downright silly.  Though there are serious and poignant moments, as are in most comedies, it is for fun!  

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2 hours ago, wings707 said:

This show is a comedy so  situations and characters are exaggerated and some downright silly.  Though there are serious and poignant moments, as are in most comedies, it is for fun!  

But its not fun, so they really missed the mark with Brianna.

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2 minutes ago, RealReality said:

But its not fun, so they really missed the mark with Brianna.

I do think it is fun and witty!  I take this show very lightly.  Different experiences, that is all. 

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3 hours ago, wings707 said:

This show is a comedy so  situations and characters are exaggerated and some downright silly.  Though there are serious and poignant moments, as are in most comedies, it is for fun!  

There's funny and witty and then there's plain unrealistic that takes you out of the show. Brianna not knowing their names is the later.

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I'm a little disappointed in this season so far. Older women + vibrators isn't automatically funny for me. I think the design process might have been more interesting than their efforts to sell it. And I know Grace has come a long way, but she seemed uncharacteristically tone-deaf in arranging this focus group.

Sol and Robert, meanwhile, now seem to be on a different show.

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10 hours ago, wendyg said:

I'm a little disappointed in this season so far. Older women + vibrators isn't automatically funny for me. I think the design process might have been more interesting than their efforts to sell it. And I know Grace has come a long way, but she seemed uncharacteristically tone-deaf in arranging this focus group.

Sol and Robert, meanwhile, now seem to be on a different show.

I think it was a little overdone but it's a way to show older women as vital and not dead. That vibrator wouldn't be attractive to me but it was funny at times and ideas of things for older women is something not thought of by many.

I liked how they also showed in past seasons how invisible you become to others, the store worker who would jump to help you, 30 years later, doesn't see you.  When Frankie stole those cigarettes while the cashier flirted with a young girl (after repeatedly asking him for help) I had to laugh out loud even if I wouldn't have done it, I'm glad she did.

I hope Sol and Robert have better storylines in the future. They seem more like stereotypes, I want to see them more like a couple and not arguing or seeming silly for their ages all the time. They didn't come off to me that way in earlier seasons. They are both wonderful actors, they just need better scripts.

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I’m a total Brianna about kids, and it was a dick move for Mallory to just show up to what is supposed to be lunch for the two of them with her kids (call and say there was a sitter mix-up and give Brianna the option to either reschedule or have the kids along), but I agree that, as her sister, Brianna needs to dial back several notches with her open disdain (but she doesn’t have to pretend she actually enjoys being around little kids; she doesn’t, and that’s fine).

I know she didn't say it to Mallory, but I was honestly taken aback when Brianna referred to the babies as "Thing 1" and "Thing 2."  I get that Brianna is supposed to have issues, but that was just a "wow" moment.  I would never want someone like that around my kids.     

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4 hours ago, txhorns79 said:

I know she didn't say it to Mallory, but I was honestly taken aback when Brianna referred to the babies as "Thing 1" and "Thing 2."  I get that Brianna is supposed to have issues, but that was just a "wow" moment.  I would never want someone like that around my kids.     

I took it as a joke, she is prone to the snarky jokes. It's hard for me to take a Dr. Seuss reference seriously.

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I don't remember the context; I remember that she referred to them as Thing 1 and Thing 2, because that's how my mom and I refer to my parents' cats when we're telling each other a story about some mischief they got up to together, so it registered with me, but I'm blanking on when she said it.  In the conversation she had with Grace?  If so, it definitely didn't bother me, as I love that whole talk.

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I remember that she referred to them as Thing 1 and Thing 2, because that's how my mom and I refer to my parents' cats when we're telling each other a story about some mischief they got up to together, so it registered with me, but I'm blanking on when she said it.  In the conversation she had with Grace?  If so, it definitely didn't bother me, as I love that whole talk.

She said it during her conversation with Grace.  I liked the talk, but her whole issue just was a little much for me.  And don't get me wrong, I understood the complaint about the babies showing up on a lunch date where it wasn't made clear they were coming, she just had such a bad attitude about the kids. 

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I hope Sol and Robert have better storylines in the future. They seem more like stereotypes, I want to see them more like a couple and not arguing or seeming silly for their ages all the time. They didn't come off to me that way in earlier seasons. They are both wonderful actors, they just need better scripts.

I do sometimes think neither Sol nor Robert are interesting enough to sustain their own storylines.  Or I might just wish they weren't taking time away from Grace & Frankie.   

Edited by txhorns79
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6 hours ago, txhorns79 said:

I know she didn't say it to Mallory, but I was honestly taken aback when Brianna referred to the babies as "Thing 1" and "Thing 2."  I get that Brianna is supposed to have issues, but that was just a "wow" moment.  I would never want someone like that around my kids.     

I actually found that pretty harmless.  I refer to my own children as Thing 1 and Thing 2 at times....

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On 2017-03-25 at 3:05 AM, wings707 said:

Since I love this series I hate to knock it but, grown women not knowing what to do with a penis shaped vibrator in their hand?   Written for a comedic moment, I get that. 

 

On 2017-03-25 at 7:22 AM, Clanstarling said:

Umm, well, this grown woman (younger than Grace and Frankie, but old enough to be the target buyers) looked at it and thought I'd need an instruction manual. It looked a little big for vaginal insertion for my aging, fragile, vaginal walls. The rotating head, though, was pretty clear.

 

On 2017-03-25 at 7:37 AM, wings707 said:

It was way too big and spiked (oh hell no) on purpose for effect.    I do not need a manual ;^)

 

On 2017-03-25 at 0:38 PM, EarlGreyTea said:

My cousin and I, both in our twenties, were watching this episode and wondering how it was supposed to work, because it looks double-ended. Then my mother mortifyingly jumped in and pointed out you can probably use either end, depending on what mood you're in.

 

On 2017-03-25 at 3:16 PM, DoubleUTeeEff said:

I was surprised that Grace went ahead with the vibrator pitch and didn't just scrap it when she heard they were a church group.  Although I think it was cool they went in that direction and the ladies will be trying it out.  I thought the spiky part was just the handle!

On 2017-03-25 at 2:55 PM, Empress1 said:

 I actually have seen toys that big in person. And I'm sure the spikes were soft and pliable - the intention is likely similar to that of the ribbed condom (although I've heard those are painful for the woman).

Their vibrator is a "specialty" item. It is designed for women who have been in menopause for quite a while and, most importantly, have arthritis in their hands and wrists. Masturbation gets tricky - even if you want to do it - when you've got arthritis. The angles that your hands and wrists used to manage (without even thinking about it) become painful obstacles. There are lots of everyday specialty tools for people with arthritis (i.e. specific attachments to turn door knobs into lever openers - no twisting required). Grace & Frankie referred to the "penis shaped" part as the handle. It is large and soft so that fingers don't have to bend too sharply. They demonstrated the ease with which the working part (the head) could adjust the angle with only a little pressure. They stated they were going for orgasms, not pretend sex. Orgasms are most easily achieved via the clitoris, so that's the area this toy is focused on.

This one most definitely would need an instruction manual because although the penis shaped handle is a good advertisement for what the item is to be used for, it is easily mistaken as the business end of the toy rather than the cleverly designed aid. They also referred to it as a sleeve: it has glow in the dark control buttons embedded in it and it's the only place where the power source and vibrator mechanism could go. Wouldn't recommend inserting that part of the device anywhere but into your hand!

It really is a brilliant idea and I'm enjoying this story line.

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Perhaps I should have just quoted this review (but I found it after my long post).

Link to full Article
 

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In episode “The Focus Group,” we see Grace (Jane Fonda) and Frankie (Lily Tomlin) whip out a few of their senior-friendly vibrators for the first time. “Oh my God, it’s beautiful,” Grace gushes, as Frankie adds with reverence, “It’s so light. It’s like I’m holding a cloud.”

The women go into the specifics of why the toy is a win for women their age, like its soft-grip gel sleeve, the glow in the dark control buttons, and the easy-angle tip. As a twenty-something with good eyesight, these are all things I’ve never even considered when it comes to vibrators, but now realize how important they’ll be when I’m pushing 80.

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Older female sexuality is usually completely ignored in pop culture or relegated to the predatory Mrs. Robinson trope. But by adding sex toys to the mix in Grace & Frankie, the show’s reminding us the desire for a good orgasm is alive and well your entire adult life, and you do not need an awkward Dustin Hoffman stand-in to get one.

 

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4 hours ago, Anothermi said:

Their vibrator is a "specialty" item. It is designed for women who have been in menopause for quite a while ....

Technically, menopause is an event -- the cessation of menstrual periods.  It is usually measured as one year after the last period, since it's rare to have another period after that long a gap.  Afterwards, one is post-menopause.  I thought it was so weird that Frankie made a crack in one episode of not being sure she'd come out of perimenopause, since that precedes menopause.  At 70+, she's clearly post-menopause.

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I thought it was so weird that Frankie made a crack in one episode of not being sure she'd come out of perimenopause, since that precedes menopause.  At 70+, she's clearly post-menopause.

I took that as a crack on Grace - like maybe GRACE is old enough to be post-menopausal, but FRANKIE is still young and vibrant (and fertile? Kind of a weird thing to be excited about.)

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3 hours ago, Inquisitionist said:

Technically, menopause is an event -- the cessation of menstrual periods.  It is usually measured as one year after the last period, since it's rare to have another period after that long a gap.  Afterwards, one is post-menopause.  I thought it was so weird that Frankie made a crack in one episode of not being sure she'd come out of perimenopause, since that precedes menopause.  At 70+, she's clearly post-menopause.

Thank you for putting that out there. I know menopause is an event, but I just couldn't remember post-menopause. Think that's because I was distracted by wanting to use the term climacteric which I find a more satisfying word than menopause. But they are the same thing. Perhaps I could try to make "post-climacteric" happen? That sounds more like a great reason for a party!   ;-) (and it doesn't imply that you must put men on "pause")

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54 minutes ago, Eeksquire said:

I took that as a crack on Grace - like maybe GRACE is old enough to be post-menopausal, but FRANKIE is still young and vibrant (and fertile? Kind of a weird thing to be excited about.)

I'm not sure which episode it was in, but I don't recall the line being delivered as a crack on Grace.  A quick search of the interwebs indicates that the oldest recorded age at menopause is 62, and the oldest age when giving birth is 59.

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