Tinsley Mortimer: Former High Society "IT Girl"

[AndySmith]

Well, I guess it's official and we can count her as a HW now. Here is her intro segment on the show. Spoiler alert, I guess?

[lgprimes]

Wow-she is actually somebody that I have heard of! She's a big get for this franchise-sober if she'll bring the drama

[MyAimIsTrue]

I've never heard of her but back in the Stone Age I went to elementary school with a girl named Tinsley and I never thought I'd see someone else with that name.

[StevieRocks]

Uh-oh...SkinnyCow is looking very jealous!

[Jel]

Please be a train wreck, Tinsely!  

[Cheetosandchoc]

"I walked away from A very glamorous life." Said the woman living in a luxury apartment. Poor thing.

Edited April 8, 2017 by Cheetosandchoc

[bagger]

She's an author/writer. I wonder how that will play with Caroll?

[Vicky8675309]

Why did she walk away from her glamorous socialite life? 

[Lisin]

1 hour ago, Vicky8675309 said:

Why did she walk away from her glamorous socialite life? 

I'm not sure she walked away so much as she was asked to leave... but from what I remember basically she got divorced from the rich husband and then did a reality show (shock) that everyone in "society" thought was awful and then "partied" too much. Lots of gossipy stuff, more than one arrest... you know. The usual ;). 

[Vicky8675309]

I found this through her wiki page:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3533511/Tinsley-Mortimer-40-arrested-trespassing-Palm-Beach-property-screaming.html

edit: she sounds interesting

Edited April 8, 2017 by Vicky8675309

[lunastartron]

1 hour ago, Vicky8675309 said:

Why did she walk away from her glamorous socialite life? 

Tinsley's ascendancy occurred immediately after Paris Hilton's, erm, "success" and coincident with the rise of Kim Kardashian. The Hills was also at its zenith of popularity back then and social media was just beginning to provide fame to the women of the Manhattan social set on a much larger scale than had previously been afforded them. 

The existence of socialiterank.com was attributable almost entirely to this storm of circumstances. 

Basically, Tinsley had a shot at building herself into a brand and/or phenomenon a la Kim and Paris. Her husband and his family were much more traditional and averse to the publicity that she craved. 

She took her chance at celebrity and started fucking around on Topper publicly. 

Isn't this an impulse we see every season on this franchise at large in smaller scale with all of these rich women carping at their husbands about how neglected they are, how unhappy their lives are, etc?

In many ways, Tinsley is also kind of a wreck. She was derided as trash by some New Yorkers back in the day because her dad was a "rug salesman" (he owned a company that sold them). He married one of his wives while blackout drunk and still legally married to the previous wife. Etc etc. 

Kathryn Dennis two decades later. 

I recommend this account.

http://pagesix.com/2016/04/16/the-tragic-downfall-of-new-yorks-hottest-socialite/?_ga=1.22600379.1811979221.1415297289

 

She seems to have a penchant for pissing off the mothers of her wealthy beaux. This from the mom of the guy she's been accusing of abuse before she got run out of Palm Beach: 

 

“It’s all hearsay, and all [Mortimer’s] black-and-blue stuff is what she’s done to herself or what somebody else has done to her,” Nicole says. “She hides in the bushes, she hides in her car, she puts cigarettes out in his face, did anybody ever tell you that? This makes ‘Fatal Attraction’ look like a cartoon. She’s insane. This is a result of a woman scorned.

“She’s going up against us and she’s going down.”

[OldButHappy]

[OldButHappy]

Youtube has the High Society series (for now...they generally remove unlicensed content when they find it).  It's set during the time that Tinsley moves out on her own, and it's hard to watch on so many levels...

Edited April 9, 2017 by OldButHappy
added url; moved Gray Gardens article to Sonja's thread

[StevieRocks]

18 hours ago, OldButHappy said:

Youtube has the High Society series (for now...they generally remove unlicensed content when they find it).  It's set during the time that Tinsley moves out on her own, and it's hard to watch on so many levels...

EEK! What a bunch of LAME losers! One thing the Countess was right about: "Money can't buy you class." These creeps make Honey Boo Boo et al look "high society." Yuck and Bwah! Thank you for sharing this gold!

And...I'm so glad I've never heard of any of these fame-whoring, illiterate rubes. So much for your fame-grab on the CW???? Wow. That's more embarrassing than appearing on Bravo. Smh. I'm sure the ancestors of these primordial apes are turning over in their graves. I guess Tinsley is going to try to make one more stab at becoming 'famous.' Sad, yet delicious.

Edited April 9, 2017 by StevieRocks

[Sun-Bun]

Oh wow, what an amusing blast from the not-so-far past: I actually scanned through all those "High Society" episodes on YouTube for a slice of "socials" nostalgia, so thanks for a fun little 30 minute bingefest, OldButHappy!

I remember watching the first two shows in horror and bemusement when this series first came on---Jules Kirby surely was either drugged out of her gourd and/or has serious mental issues, Devorah Rose was always being trashed for her trashy vibe on Gawker and that other stylist twink was just the typical wannabe Manhattan fashion boy. There's a good reason this pathetic mess of a reality show was a huge flop beyond its generally unlikable cast.

But the fact that Tinsley and her sister/mom actually sullied their once good name by appearing on this awkward show was so embarrassing. Her star was already dimming a bit when she first appeared on this mess, but it firmly sealed the last nail in her blue blooded society coffin after she allowed herself to be filmed in such a tawdry manner. I couldn't watch anymore than two shows back when it premiered because it made me so sad for Tinsley, a social scene fixture I'd once admired; she was obviously trying to become the next Paris Hilton or Lauren Conrad or even a Kardashian, and it blew up in her face bigtime. Although I'd forgotten how drool-worthy her loft in Chelsea was, or that she had a showmance of sorts with the likes of Constantine Mouralis and one-time Bachelor Prince Lorenzo.

I'm doubting she'll bring much drama to this show though. She's a little too preeny for this batch of aging harpies and will likely fall back into her typical reality show role of pretty princess reacting to the histrionics of everyone around her, even though she's supposedly such a "Fatal Attraction"-style monster according to her former lover and his camp.

[Ki-in]

I never watched High Society but the name always gave me a chuckle because it is also the name of a lower tier porno magazine that they kept behind the counters of the convenience stores when I was growing up.

[KungFuBunny]

June 7th Article

http://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/arts-and-culture/a9957042/hosting-overnight-guests-etiquette/?src=socialflowTW

[KungFuBunny]

On Ramona's thread - Ramona has the same tank top on

[lunastartron]

8 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

Did I state something that was factually inaccurate in my post speculating about why Bethenny may tend to not see Tinsley as a traditional powerless victim of domestic abuse? 

If I understand correctly Tinsley is (reasonably) wealthy in her own right.  She was not financially dependent upon her former boyfriend.  She had no children with him.  No permanent ties. She was perfectly free to walk away from the relationship at any time.  The man wanted nothing to do with her any more. 

Moreover, she seemed to be the one initiating contact with him, contact which was so unwanted that she was arrested for trespassing and a restraining order was issued against her.  I think this behavior this extreme is something that is hardly typical of typical domestic violence victims, but YMMV.  It surely happens, but probably not that often.

At any rate, this scenario seems to me to be a reasonable explanation for why  Bethenny might question Tinsley's situation. And if I am correct and this is why Bethenny said what she did about Tinsley, it makes sense in terms of Beth's relationship with her mother, which was my original point.  Bethenny saw her mother engaging in similar behavior and refuse to take any responsibility for it.  She doesn't seem to view someone who acts that way worthy of the title "victim."  She is a hardass who seems to hold people accountable for the things they put themselves through when they have other perfectly acceptable options.  Some people are like that. 

Nobody is saying anyone has to like it or agree with her.

I have never disputed that Tinsley is childless and affluent. To my knowledge, no poster has. 

I have, however, stated my opinion that dubiously situating (whether by Bethenny or whomever) abuse as "abuse" because of said childlessness, affluence, and a failure to leave from a domestically violent relationship quickly enough per the standards of an undefined timeline is gross and disturbing. 

 

6 hours ago, Jel said:

Literally no one said this. At any time. In any of these posts.

The closest anyone has ever come to saying anything like that, in this thread, is the people who claim that Bethenny couldn't be a victim of stalking because she's such a bitch, and well, she kind of made Jason so mad that he couldn't help himself.

I have explained why I find "responsibility" specifically problematic as far as this discourse is concerned and why I think it's proximate to ascribing culpability to the victim for rectifying abuse in question. 

Evidently, we're not going to agree. 

Please see the bolded quote below (which, from my perspective is WAY closer than your example vis a vis Jason and Beth) for an illustration of what I'm referring to.

I mean, where did I get the interpretation that responsibility for violence is on the victim from a sentence that literally reads  "At some point* ... any damage you experience is arguably at least partially self-inflicted"? 

 

*what point is this? 

12 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

It seems to me like Bethenny's B Strong initiative is essentially about helping women in crisis. 

Perhaps Bethenny thinks that indulging a healthy, wealthy, young white woman with no children who bills herself out as a socialite and has every means at her disposal to improve her already pretty nice situation will not be "helped" by being encouraged her to view herself as a victim.   Just a guess. 

That's not to say that a woman in Tinsley's situation can't be a victim of domestic violence, of course.  I just suspect Bethenny doesn't see Tinsley as being the type of woman she has created this group to help, thus her failure to include Tinsley under the umbrella of unconditional acceptance it is being suggested that Bethenny owes every other woman who has ever had domestic issues.

 

Of course I am not referring to Tinsley's injuries, for goodness sake.  By self-inflicted I mean Tinsley's choice to remain in the situation and her repeated efforts to re-establish a relationship with a man who was kicking the crap out of her when she had it in her power to just walk away.   At some point you DO become responsible for your own choices and any damage you experience is at least arguably partially self-inflicted. 

I hope no one is thinking I am rationalizing or excusing the behavior of men who beat women who choose to stay with them when they have the capacity to leave.  If you hit or kick or abuse someone in any way, that is on you.  But the choice of a woman to stay in a situation like that when she is able to leave is on her.  Ask any cop who has seen a battered woman refuse to press charges and opts to return to her abuser when she has other reasonable options how they feel.  It's frustrating as hell.  There is often a loss of sympathy for the women who make such choices.  And I think Bethenny may feel the same kind of frustration toward Tinsley that cops experience in such cases because she has lived through domestic violence in her own home as a child and seen her mother make some poor choices that are at least superficially comparable to those made by Tinsley and she has no patience for it.  

Certainly the phenomenon of learned helplessness can be at play ... that can't be denied. But reinforcing a woman's perception of herself as a helpless victim when she refuses to exercise options she has available that could keep her safe doesn't do her any good.  

That being said, I am not sure saving Tinsley from her own perception of herself as a victim is among Bethenny's motivations for saying what she said.  I doubt she is that wise or compassionate, lol.  I think it has a lot more to do with how she feels about her own experiences growing up in a home filled with domestic violence.

I certainly don't take her comments on Tinsley's situation to be the hateful, misogynistic thing thing that is being suggested or some kind of failure by her to properly support a fellow victim when she has reservations.

Edited June 25, 2017 by lunastartron

[Jextella]

Tinsley has been a good addition - contrary to what I anticipated.

[LIMOM]

1 hour ago, Jextella said:

Tinsley has been a good addition - contrary to what I anticipated.

Yup. She got people talking!

3 hours ago, lunastartron said:

I have never disputed that Tinsley is childless and affluent. To my knowledge, no poster has. 

I have, however, stated my opinion that dubiously situating (whether by Bethenny or whomever) abuse as "abuse" because of said childlessness, affluence, and a failure to leave from a domestically violent relationship quickly enough per the standards of an undefined timeline is gross and disturbing. 

 

I have explained why I find "responsibility" specifically problematic as far as this discourse is concerned and why I think it's proximate to ascribing culpability to the victim for rectifying abuse in question. 

Evidently, we're not going to agree. 

Please see the bolded quote below (which, from my perspective is WAY closer than your example vis a vis Jason and Beth) for an illustration of what I'm referring to.

I mean, where did I get the interpretation that responsibility for violence is on the victim from a sentence that literally reads  "At some point* ... any damage you experience is arguably at least partially self-inflicted"? 

 

*what point is this? 

It is amazing to me that anyone would argue that she was abused and somehow responsible for anything.

Have people forgotten the Smith trial????

In anycase, she was very lucky to get out of it alive.

[BBHN]

Quote

It is amazing to me that anyone would argue that she was abused and somehow responsible for anything.

What is even more amazing is that anyone would argue that people have suggested that.

[film noire]

3 hours ago, lunastartron said:

I mean, where did I get the interpretation that responsibility for violence is on the victim from a sentence that literally reads  "At some point* ... any damage you experience is arguably at least partially self-inflicted"? 

*what point is this? 

The point at which his fist hits her head,  and she hits the concrete -- and then ends up with three staples  -- but because it's just "abuse", not ABUSE, it doesn't count as anything but (yet another) strike against Tinsley.

2 hours ago, Jextella said:

Tinsley has been a good addition - contrary to what I anticipated.

Me, too. I thought she'd be a dead weight, but I actually like her.  (And I found her tears/emotion this last episode very moving, in light of what she's suffered. She choked up, she took a moment, and then went on. No obscenity laden diatribe, just genuine emotion.)

Edited June 25, 2017 by film noire

[motorcitymom65]

Can someone help a girl out here? Has Tinsley - at this point on the show - talked in any detail about her abuse? I admit I might have not remembered because in the beginining she didn't particularly interest me. I mainly remember her talking openly to everyone about her mugshot, her eyebrows, and her arrest. I know she opened up a bit more to Carole this week, but has she talked about continuously getting knocked around by this guy? 

[Wicked]

I don't believe she has, I didn't know it was an abusive relationship.  Just thought it was dysfunctional.

[biakbiak]

50 minutes ago, motorcitymom65 said:

Can someone help a girl out here? Has Tinsley - at this point on the show - talked in any detail about her abuse? I admit I might have not remembered because in the beginining she didn't particularly interest me. I mainly remember her talking openly to everyone about her mugshot, her eyebrows, and her arrest. I know she opened up a bit more to Carole this week, but has she talked about continuously getting knocked around by this guy? 

No but according to Bethanny blog she talks about it all the time and it makes everyone uncomfortable so either a lot is being left out or Bethanny is pulling something out of her ass.

[zoeysmom]

I recall when the wedding being discussed Tinsley said something along the lines she would be in Palm Beach during the time of the wedding as she had a final court appearance to make and her record would be expunged as long as she stayed away from her ex and his parents' homes.  I think they should let Tinsley talk more-I find her entertaining, I really like the way she works in her association with some of the bit players-like Harry Dubin.  I also like her mom-the franchise needed a mom since the exit of Gloria, Jill's mom. 

I believe this week we will see her in a counseling session so we may hear some details.  Apparently counselors aren't uncomfortable with the topic.  http://www.refinery29.com/2017/06/160431/tinsley-mortimer-emotional-breakdown-real-housewives-recap 

[WireWrap]

2 hours ago, biakbiak said:

No but according to Bethanny blog she talks about it all the time and it makes everyone uncomfortable so either a lot is being left out or Bethanny is pulling something out of her ass.

I noticed that as well and I suspect that this is Bethenny getting ahead of something we are about to see/hear. I really believe that Bethenny can not stand that another HW may get viewer sympathy/support over her and is trying to cut Tinsley out before it happens, especially is Bethenny flips out on her like she is prone to do

Spoiler

(And that the preview shows her doing).

[KungFuBunny]

I remember when the arrest happenned and her mug shot.

She was wandering around the ex's premises and when the police arrived she was crying and screaming that he was in the house with another woman.

In an interview she did soon after the arrest, Tinsley said she knew of the trespass order and the restraining order but she thought those were null and void since she had been with the ex a few times after.

[lunastartron]

6 hours ago, Wicked said:

I don't believe she has, I didn't know it was an abusive relationship.  Just thought it was dysfunctional.

 

5 hours ago, biakbiak said:

No but according to Bethanny blog she talks about it all the time and it makes everyone uncomfortable so either a lot is being left out or Bethanny is pulling something out of her ass.

I don't understand the idea that there's ambiguity here. Bethenny literally says, "She talks a lot about this "abusive" relationship she had." 

[KungFuBunny]

At the end of this article..Tinsley's call to the police can be heard.

She knows about the trespass warning. The dispatch is telling her to leave and come to the police station. She's calling herself his "girlfriend"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4407252/Tinsley-Mortimer-makes-debut-appearance-RHONY.html

[LIMOM]

17 minutes ago, lunastartron said:

 

I don't understand the idea that there's ambiguity here. Bethenny literally says, "She talks a lot about this "abusive" relationship she had." 

It sounds just like rape and "rape, rape".

I think Wirewrap is absolutely right and Beth is preemptively covering up.

My guess would be that Tinsley went on and on about her story and therefore capturing the spotlight and Beth just snapped after a while.

[lunastartron]

12 hours ago, film noire said:

The point at which his fist hits her head,  and she hits the concrete -- and then ends up with three staples  -- but because it's just "abuse", not ABUSE, it doesn't count as anything but (yet another) strike against Tinsley.

Me, too. I thought she'd be a dead weight, but I actually like her.  (And I found her tears/emotion this last episode very moving, in light of what she's suffered. She choked up, she took a moment, and then went on. No obscenity laden diatribe, just genuine emotion.)

Oh, okay. I'm still a lil' bit confused, though. Do you maybe mean the part where she gave herself that "black eye"?

 

15 hours ago, Jextella said:

Tinsley has been a good addition - contrary to what I anticipated.

 

She broadly reminds me of a Wharton heroine/Lily Bart or Esther Wilson from Victoria Patterson's This Vacant Paradise. 

 

For anyone interested in the Fanjuls, this has a lot of interesting details though it's somewhat of a discursive read. 

In 2000 alone, they gave almost half a million to national and local Democratic candidates for office and over a quarter of a million to their Republican counterparts. 

 

http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2001/02/floridas-fanjuls-200102

[LIMOM]

Lol.

just like the Smith/Kennedy situation.

For those who were too young or have forgotten.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Kennedy_Smith

Slightly off topic however it explains the justice in Palm Beach, Fl.

Edited June 25, 2017 by LIMOM

[lunastartron]

26 minutes ago, LIMOM said:

Lol.

just like the Smith/Kennedy situation.

For those who were too young or have forgotten.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Kennedy_Smith

Slightly off topic however it explains the justice in Palm Beach, Fl.

Look, Mary Jo Kopechne really needs to take accountability for her decisions in Chappaquiddick. 

And I think these five women who were "assaulted" by Smith should acquaint themselves with personal responsibility. 

Edited June 25, 2017 by lunastartron

[film noire]

10 minutes ago, lunastartron said:

Oh, okay. I'm still a lil' bit confused, though. Do you maybe mean the part where she gave herself that "black eye"?

Thank you for making me laugh in the middle of a very unfunny topic -- I needed that today ;) 

24 minutes ago, KungFuBunny said:

She's calling herself his "girlfriend"

So sad. 

19 minutes ago, LIMOM said:

It sounds just like rape and "rape, rape".

Exactly! (not "Exactly" ;)

[zoeysmom]

40 minutes ago, lunastartron said:

Oh, okay. I'm still a lil' bit confused, though. Do you maybe mean the part where she gave herself that "black eye"?

 

 

She broadly reminds me of a Wharton heroine/Lily Bart or Esther Wilson from Victoria Patterson's This Vacant Paradise. 

 

For anyone interested in the Fanjuls, this has a lot of interesting details though it's somewhat of a discursive read. 

In 2000 alone, they gave almost half a million to national and local Democratic candidates for office and over a quarter of a million to their Republican counterparts. A real

 

http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2001/02/floridas-fanjuls-200102

Thanks for the read Luna, what pigs the Fanjuls are.  I would agree it is discursive but fact filled and interesting none the less.  The letters from the workers (slaves) are heartbreaking.   I wish could find the story about the son who dated Tinsley.  Tinsley is quoted as saying he really needed to work.  The guy has been studying for three years to get a license to sell insurance.  A real go-getter that guy.  Tinsley lucky to get out of the Fajuls' reach and back to a comfort zone. 

[Sun-Bun]

I really am loving Tinsley with this cast and she's proving to be a nice and refreshing addition to this group. Lord knows we needed some fresh new youthful blood and she fits in with these gals so much better than the likes of Jules or Kristin.

And I do feel terribly for Tinsley---the gal was repeatedly beaten by an abusive boyfriend. She's a battered woman who is lucky that she was able to get out of that relationship without being physically hurt long term. Maybe she lashed out at him physically/verbally as well, but there's absolutely no excuse whatsoever for what he did to her, even if she did act crazy during their regular fights. 

Getting hurt that badly by a lover isn't something you're going to get over quickly and she's obviously still suffering from symptoms of PTSD. She'll likely need a great amount of therapy just to get her confidence back and start feeling more like her old self again. It breaks my heart to see the way the other women aren't more sensitive to her plight and understanding of just how damaged she still is.

And I know Carole meant well when she was encouraging Tinsley to change up her look and her zip code and start fresh((and I agree with Carole: a fresher new start would really do Tins a world of good)), but she's still not ready to make those changes and is at a touchy stage where she finds comfort in her familiar old ways pre-abuse. And Bethenny is just being a stone cold bitch if she's telling Tinsley to shutup about her past demons---that's pretty rich coming from a woman still boo-hooing about her messy divorce all these years later. Pot, meet kettle!!

[film noire]

1 hour ago, zoeysmom said:

Thanks for the read Luna, what pigs the Fanjuls are.  I would agree it is discursive but fact filled and interesting none the less.  The letters from the workers (slaves) are heartbreaking.   I wish could find the story about the son who dated Tinsley.  Tinsley is quoted as saying he really needed to work.  The guy has been studying for three years to get a license to sell insurance.  A real go-getter that guy.  Tinsley lucky to get out of the Fajuls' reach and back to a comfort zone. 

.I stopped two paras in, b/c this alone made me rage, and I knew worse must be coming:  "(the people who) had been weeding the cotton fields, wound up losing their jobs or being deported. The cotton farmers fired them and got local children to spray pesticides with water guns."

Children spraying cancerous chemicals through water guns. JESUS.

[Jel]

On 6/24/2017 at 9:33 PM, lunastartron said:

I have never disputed that Tinsley is childless and affluent. To my knowledge, no poster has. 

I have, however, stated my opinion that dubiously situating (whether by Bethenny or whomever) abuse as "abuse" because of said childlessness, affluence, and a failure to leave from a domestically violent relationship quickly enough per the standards of an undefined timeline is gross and disturbing. 

 

I have explained why I find "responsibility" specifically problematic as far as this discourse is concerned and why I think it's proximate to ascribing culpability to the victim for rectifying abuse in question. 

Evidently, we're not going to agree. 

Please see the bolded quote below (which, from my perspective is WAY closer than your example vis a vis Jason and Beth) for an illustration of what I'm referring to.

I mean, where did I get the interpretation that responsibility for violence is on the victim from a sentence that literally reads  "At some point* ... any damage you experience is arguably at least partially self-inflicted"? 

 

*what point is this? 

Where did you get that interpretation from? Since you're asking, I'll guess, "What is 'Not Reading the Entire Post' for $500, Alex"?  ;)

Here's what else Celia Rubenstein said, "I hope no one is thinking I am rationalizing or excusing the behavior of men who beat women...  If you hit or kick or abuse someone in any way, that is on you."  

I don't know how she could make her views any more plain.

When you ask, "At what point is this?",  I think that's sophistry -- no one ever said or suggested or implied that a woman is the cause of the violence she suffers.  She didn't cause it. She didn't ask for it.  Abused domestic partners don't "earn their punches".  "Responsibility" (and responsibility in a different context, I might add) and "cause" are not synonyms.  There is no debate here, not taking up for a straw man.  Nope.

 If you think  the use of the word "responsibility" as "... proximate to ascribing culpability to the victim for rectifying abuse in question",  hey, go for it, but you can't use your interpretation of that word to ascribe beliefs to me that are not there.

I have a longer answer about "partial responsibility" and how I think it factors in, but we're already kind of ot here, so please message me if you want to continue the discussion. :)

[Celia Rubenstein]

Thanks for that post, Jel. I was not gonna bother myself because I actually think the discussion has become hopelessly disingenuous at this point.

Tinsley has been through hell and I regret seeing what she experienced relegated to a side issue by all this. Maybe now we can get back to talking about HER.

[QuinnM]

1 hour ago, Jel said:

I have a longer answer about "partial responsibility" and how I think it factors in, but we're already kind of ot here, so please message me if you want to continue the discussion. :)

I'm a long time Tinsley stalker.  I remember her as the star of the first little reality bit she did.  So she pops up on my radar a lot.  She and this douche were on and off all the time.  There was much discussion in the Palm Beach gossip mags about the RO.  Basically Tins has tons of friends, her mother and all kinds of fun folks in her circle in FL.  But for some reason she really just wanted this guy.  So she kept after him and people talked and gossip columns noted bar run ins etc.  They were long split on the fatal night of the arrest.  So she goes to his place again and there are all kinds of theories on what happened.  But what is documented is that she had significant injuries, the police report also said the douche had visible injuries, she said/he said that she/he vandalized the car.  Bottom line was she was the one with a RO against her and so she was arrested.  Prior bad acts on his part did not weigh in because every time the cops were called she backed off the story.  So he was never even charged.

So that might be the reason so many folks are having a hard time with this one.  It's all kinds of muddy with grey areas.  And most of it takes place behind closed doors with two people.  I don't think that Tins showed any kinds of good judgement.  In fact, she behaved like a really stupid, immature person.  And I can see that facts that this man physically abused her.  He is a criminal.  He's just missing the arrest.

So now we have Tins in NYC.  She has chosen to live with Sonja.  She doesn't have to.  I bet her family has a couple apartments she can crash at.  She can rent a place.  Or she can behave like a stupid, immature person and stay and just bitch and moan and complain.  I bet Sonja ends up needing a RO to get her out of there.

So people around her that are merely acquaintances probably don't have a lot of patient with any of it.

[Jel]

I wish she had pressed charges.  Is it too late to do that now? Anyone know?

[zoeysmom]

3 minutes ago, Jel said:

I wish she had pressed charges.  Is it too late to do that now? Anyone know?

Some people find going through the judicial process to be almost as debasing as the physical violence.  Look at the comments from slave driver Mama Fanjul.  I believe what caused the raised eyebrows was the "abusive" comment by Bethenny Frankel. 

Tinsley's injuries are not consistent with "mutual combat".  The abuser scratches are more in line with someone who is defending themselves. 

[BBHN]

Quote

 I remember her as the star of the first little reality bit she did

I'm kind of thinking I want to watch that show, but I heard it was really, really bad. Is it as bad as people say it is?

[Jel]

If she does get to a point where she wants to press charges, can she still or is there a time limit on that?

I didn't like the "abusive" thing either.   I didn't see the need for the on-the-record skepticism about it, I mean the rest of the sentence was plenty insensitive on its own.

[QuinnM]

Quote

If she does get to a point where she wants to press charges, can she still or is there a time limit on that?

I didn't like the "abusive" thing either.   I didn't see the need for the on-the-record skepticism about it, I mean the rest of the sentence was plenty insensitive on its own.

There are people that asked that question at the time. It was suggested she was stalking him for over a year after the break up. She wasn't just not able to leave but she was legally obligated to not return for over a year before the final arrest. The nasty photos with the black eye and stitches was in 2012. The final showdown was in 2013. The court appearance was 2015.  RHONYC is filmed about 3 years later.   So Bethenny isn't alone in wondering.   And I'm sure Tinsley behavior looks a lot like Hoppy  

My question is why three years later is she acting like it just happened.  I would think with her resources she would have therapy by now. 

[film noire]

2 hours ago, Jel said:

When you ask, "At what point is this?",  I think that's sophistry -- no one ever said or suggested or implied that a woman is the cause of the violence she suffers.  She didn't cause it. She didn't ask for it.  Abused domestic partners don't "earn their punches".  

I don't see how the phrase "self inflicted" (which Celia applied to Tinsley) does not indicate cause on Tinsley's part.

47 minutes ago, zoeysmom said:

Tinsley's injuries are not consistent with "mutual combat".  The abuser scratches are more in line with someone who is defending themselves. 

Yes.

27 minutes ago, QuinnM said:

My question is why three years later is she acting like it just happened.  I would think with her resources she would have therapy by now. 

PTSD can linger, even with therapy -- people coping with it say it feels fresh with every trigger (hopefully, she won't end up like Bethenny, thirty years later and still operating out of unresolved rage).

Edited June 26, 2017 by film noire

[breezy424]

Tinsley on why she continued the relationship:

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/tinsley-mortimer-talks-arrest-abusive-relationship-real-housewives-of-nyc-w476354

BTW, the arrest just happened six months before she started filming RHNY.

Edited June 26, 2017 by breezy424

[film noire]

Thanks for the link, @breezy424  - this jumped out at me:

Quote

“The physical abuse alone wasn’t enough for me to leave the relationship, which you think would be. But it turned out that it wasn’t because you can find yourself falling into this a lot easier than you think.”

And this:

Quote

“Going forward, I would like to partner up with an organization, speaking about domestic violence, because I do think that if it could happen to me, it could happen to anybody."

B-ingo?