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Celebrating 25 Years Of The West Wing

Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

Chris Knight

By Chris Knight
in Counting On

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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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WTFFF

WTFFF

Yeah, I see your point.  As much as their hypocrisy about not adopting bugs me (or maybe it's not really hypocrisy, but their constant talking about adoption and claiming to feel so much pity for the poor orphans while frantically trying to conceive biological children), I think the kids they might adopt are really better off waiting for a family that will actually utilize the resources available to help children adapt into a new life instead of blanket training, buddy systems and leaving it to Jesus. 

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Jellybeans

Jellybeans

I love snarking, but the problem as I see it is when rumor is treated as fact. I hated it when rumors were started about me back in the day. It is easy for rumors to become "fact".

I am not a fan of snarking on rumors. I am taking myself to the prayer closet now. I am sure it is full.

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GEML

GEML

I love snarking, but the problem as I see it is when rumor is treated as fact. I hated it when rumors were started about me back in the day. It is easy for rumors to become "fact".

I am not a fan of snarking on rumors. I am taking myself to the prayer closet now. I am sure it is full.

This is how I feel. If it's true that Derick is getting special treatment at work, he's quitting to ride the TLC gravy train, or that he has some sort of deal with Wal-Mart because of his Duggar ties, then I'm all for it. But right now I can make the case that he's still a fairly normal 25 year old working a white collar job married to a young woman who is a little attached, but nothing shockingly out of the ordinary.

Heaven knows (pardon the pun) these folks do enough on the record that is snark worthy!

(My opinion only, and others may disagree, and I get it.)

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kmayo44

kmayo44

(edited)

So now Derick is taking time off from work yet again to go to El Salvador? Isn't that a Duggar family project? Jill is now a Dillard and he has a job. I wonder how long it will take WalMart to realize that Derick has a "par time job" with them in his eyes? I don't believe the workforce has changed that much lately that they would put up with an employee continually requesting time off paid or not, to travel the country, be on TV, give interviews, and now travel internationally for a personal matter.

Something is really wrong here.

Another note: What the heck is wrong with Jill? She is expecting a child and she is going to a foreign country? To do what? Give toys, candy and read scripture to people who do not speak English? Can she read in Spanish? I doubt it.

I don't think Derick's fellow co-workers appreciate his habitual absence. One only accumulates "so much" PTOs in a year and he has barely been employed one year.

Resentment will take hold soon at work. I wonder how he manages to keep up with his workload and what is the quality of is work with all those distractions and interruptions.

Another issue is: they are married and are still "getting to know one another"? Normally, yes, a couple learns how to live together daily, but with this family, they really are getting to know one another and it's sad because they are already married....not a good time to "get to know each other", IMO.

BTW, I thought El Salvador already was a primarily Christian country.. I believe they are catholic??? which, BTW, BEN, is a Christian religion. Why are they wasting their time?

I agree that it seems insane Derrick is allowed that much time off. He just had a honeymoon not long ago, and instead of saving days (like so many fathers to be do in this country) to spend with his wife and new baby, they are traipsing off to El Salvador? Nice priorities there, young man. 

 

EL Salvador is primarily a Catholic country, but Christians like the Duggars don't think Catholics are Christians.  I am Catholic and don't feel that way about other denominations in general. I don't get that perspective, we just have different particulars we disagree on, kwim? That said-I never realized how pervasive the Duggars' line of thought is until I moved to the South. I was never confronted with people like this and within my first week I was berated for wearing a pendant with Mary on it (it's called a Miraculous Medal)...in the children's section of the library, for crying out loud! After she tried to "save" me, I told her that my personal relationship with Jesus is real and IMO He didn't take too kindly to people slamming his mother. :) (I'm not trying to proselytize here- just explaining the mindset these tools have about their "faith")

 

Edited by kmayo44
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Fuzzysox

Fuzzysox

I agree you are Catholic and they don't believe your a believer??? I'm Catholic but I rarely talk about it. My MIL goes to church everyday and there are legions of people in Chicago that are diehard Catholics. No Duggar could come close to the way Catholics help others i.e. soup kitchens, raising money for winter coats, etc.

 

The Duggars are just famewhores. They can go to church all they want but in order for people wanting to convert they should lead by example not just lecture and call picture taking a "ministry."

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NausetGirl

NausetGirl

This is how I feel. If it's true that Derick is getting special treatment at work, he's quitting to ride the TLC gravy train, or that he has some sort of deal with Wal-Mart because of his Duggar ties, then I'm all for it. But right now I can make the case that he's still a fairly normal 25 year old working a white collar job married to a young woman who is a little attached, but nothing shockingly out of the ordinary.

Heaven knows (pardon the pun) these folks do enough on the record that is snark worthy!

(My opinion only, and others may disagree, and I get it.)

 

Do we know for certain that Jill and Derick are going? If it's true, that does seem like a very questionable move to me. Did Michelle ever go on an overseas trip pregnant? If she did, I don't recall it. 

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GEML

GEML

Well, my husband is in international law, which means a lot of international travel. He meets and works with women who are expecting babies quite frequently, who travel all over the world up until usually their eighth month. With rare exceptions, pregnancy is not something that causes health issues for the woman or the baby, and many women want to continue their work, and for many that includes international travel.

Many women fought hard to gain working advantages to compete with men for well paying and powerful jobs while also having children. I for one am not willing to toss those gains aside simply to snark on Jill Duggar Dillard going on an international trip to El Salvador when any OB/GYN would almost certainly agree it's perfectly safe for her to do so.

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Barb23

Barb23

Do we know for certain that Jill and Derick are going? If it's true, that does seem like a very questionable move to me. Did Michelle ever go on an overseas trip pregnant? If she did, I don't recall it.

It says on the Duggar Family Blog site (sorry, can't link right) Jill & Derick are going. It mentioned the last time the family went, it was after the wedding & they had commitments & didn't go.

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NausetGirl

NausetGirl

It says on the Duggar Family Blog site (sorry, can't link right) Jill & Derick are going. It mentioned the last time the family went, it was after the wedding & they had commitments & didn't go.

 

I see. Well, as long as her doctor approves of her flying, there really shouldn't be any commotion about Jill making this trip. My problem with the Duggars and their overseas mission visits is that they really don't do much. They take toys and candy, have Christmas parties, and Boob never fails to embarrass himself. Do they even get their hands dirty? When I think of how much good could be done for the native El Salvadorans with all the money that gets spent on these trips. It would almost be laughable... if it wasn't so sad.

 

PS - do we know if Jill actually sees an ob/gyn?

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KittyS

KittyS

(edited)

I see. Well, as long as her doctor approves of her flying, there really shouldn't be any commotion about Jill making this trip. My problem with the Duggars and their overseas mission visits is that they really don't do much. They take toys and candy, have Christmas parties, and Boob never fails to embarrass himself. Do they even get their hands dirty? When I think of how much good could be done for the native El Salvadorans with all the money that gets spent on these trips. It would almost be laughable... if it wasn't so sad.

PS - do we know if Jill actually sees an ob/gyn?

The mission trip thing is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. We lived in Louisiana during Katrina - huge mess, slow recovery, etc. On Facebook I used to see friends' kids from all over the country raising money (typically around $1000) travel to Louisiana and help. Guess what? People didn't need a bunch of unskilled teenagers hanging around and getting in the way. That $1000 could have payed for a lot of skilled labor and a lot of necessary supplies. I understand that some mission trips can be helpful, especially when the people participating have a useful skill set or are very hard workers (Duggars = NOT), but I get so steamed when the experience of the person going on the trip is elevated above the actual work of helping people. The Duggars' seem to emphasize saving souls and getting photo ops above actually being helpful. They could probably do a lot more good with their airfare money than they will with their time, especially when they are only spending a week there, versus people who give a year or more of their time. Edited by KittyS
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Barb23

Barb23

I don't have a problem with Jill flying. My concern is the What if something happens while she is there? How close are they to medical care or a hospital? Just thinking about Josie & other pre-term babies that are born in one hospital & then have to be transferred to another that has a more specialized NICU. And that's here in the U.S. I'm sure El Salvador's hospitals can't even begin to compare to ours. I'm a worrier type of person so I think of these things.

Like others have said, it would be one thing if they actually do something there besides playing games with the children, having parties & Boob reciting the birth of Jesus in his Spanglish. (Christmaso, giftso, etc) but they don't. So why does she need to go. I wonder if Derick will be surprised at the Duggars form of missionary work in El Salvador compared to what to what he did in Nepal.

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Barb23

Barb23

I guess Jill is going as the interpreter. On the trip a few years ago, I know she was embarrassed at Boob's Spanglish.

On another note, I wonder who packed up the circus. According to their blog, Jinger, Josiah & Joseph were already there. They went a week ahead. So that leaves Joy & Jana to do the packing. Maybe Jessa helped if she could pull herself away from her newlywed duties. She was the chief packer wasn't she?(before courting)

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GEML

GEML

I actually doubt that Jill has an OB/Gyn, but I'm saying that ANY of them would certainly approve a trip to El Salvador for a healthy 23 year old woman in her sixth month. There is absolutely NO reason she shouldn't go, and on the slightest of chances that anything should go wrong that's a tragedy and not anyone's fault.

If say that of any woman, not only Jill. Women's lives can't stop for nine months because of remote chances of what ifs and slim possibilities. In fact, I would argue that doing so turns women into the very baby making machines that the Duggars objectify women into instead of full and equal partners to men in every way.

Jill and Derick out of all of the family care the most about missions and seem to be most able to do a little more than photo ops and Spanglish. Out of the family, they are the ones I would want to go, pregnancy or not.

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DoctorWhovian

DoctorWhovian

I wonder if they got charged for the extra passenger. There's a question I read somewhere if a baby is born on-board an international flight whose citizenship does the baby get, I can't remember the answer was.

 

The citizenship of the parents. Only a handful of countries (US included, I also think Canada and Mexico?) give citizenship based on being born in the country. Most do it by blood of the parents.

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Barb23

Barb23

I realize we all have our own opinions if we think Jill should or should not go on the trip. Both sides have brought up good points. Being the worrier I am, I don't think there is a good reason she needs to there (like traveling for a job). I do agree of all the Duggars/Dillards, J & D are the ones that can help the most. Maybe Derick will teach them the real meaning of missionary work.

I wonder what the living conditions are? I doubt they are staying at hotels. How safe is the water and food? Are there bathrooms/ toilets and how clean are they? Can Jill catch something that could hurt her or the baby? It's one thing if it was just Jill, but she has to think about the safety of Baby Dilly.

When my sister & brother-in-law honeymooned in Mexico, they were told only to drink bottled water, don't eat fresh fruit from a stand (supposedly the irrigation of the crops isn't the greatest), etc. My BIL ate a small piece of fruit at one of the tours. "It looked so good." He thought one piece couldn't hurt him but boy was he was wrong. He ended up coming home with some gastrointestinal bug that caused severe diarrhea & he spent weeks getting over it. His doctor said that the Mexican people's systems are used to it so they don't get sick. I guess it's like a building up immunity kind of thing.

I know Jill could catch something at home but there are doctors around the corner to help her. Even a simple cut could turn into something nasty if they don't have clean water to wash the wound out with. Why take the chance?

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KittyS

KittyS

I think much of what the Duggars do is snark-worthy, but traveling at six months pregnant to Central America isn't a big deal for a low-risk pregnancy. In the very unlikely instance that something bad were to happen, I'm sure TLC would arrange medical transport as necessary.

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Gemma Violet

Gemma Violet

I realize we all have our own opinions if we think Jill should or should not go on the trip. Both sides have brought up good points. Being the worrier I am, I don't think there is a good reason she needs to there (like traveling for a job). I do agree of all the Duggars/Dillards, J & D are the ones that can help the most. Maybe Derick will teach them the real meaning of missionary work.

I wonder what the living conditions are? I doubt they are staying at hotels. How safe is the water and food? Are there bathrooms/ toilets and how clean are they? Can Jill catch something that could hurt her or the baby? It's one thing if it was just Jill, but she has to think about the safety of Baby Dilly.

 

 

I agree.  No way would I go if I were pregnant. It's not like she has to go.  Why take the chance that she'll eat or drink something harmful?

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cmr2014

cmr2014

I could be completely wrong, but I think this is just another example of how mind-bogglingly selfish the Duggars are.

 

Derick hasn't had a minute to breathe since he returned from Nepal. His mother is recovering from cancer, and she just lost her own mother (or was it Derick's paternal grandmother?), and perhaps it might make more sense for Jill and Derick to stay in Arkansas to be with his family for the holidays. Instead, he is utilizing his last few vacation days to take a missionary-tourism trip with the Duggars in which nothing will be accomplished and no souls will be saved.

 

I hope this trip is an eye-opener for him.

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DangerousMinds

DangerousMinds

(edited)

The citizenship of the parents. Only a handful of countries (US included, I also think Canada and Mexico?) give citizenship based on being born in the country. Most do it by blood of the parents.

What if the parents are each citizens of different countries? Then what?

Edited by DangerousMinds
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Catlyn

Catlyn

(edited)
The mission trip thing is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. We lived in Louisiana during Katrina - huge mess, slow recovery, etc. On Facebook I used to see friends' kids from all over the country raising money (typically around $1000) travel to Louisiana and help. Guess what? People didn't need a bunch of unskilled teenagers hanging around and getting in the way. That $1000 could have payed for a lot of skilled labor and a lot of necessary supplies.

 

I was down in New Orleans for a meeting shortly after Katrina. We helped finish two houses with Habitat for Humanity. We worked with a crew of young people we thought were college students. Nope, they were high school students, some not even seniors! They had already done most of the work. Very mature, there were some teasing, and minimal of horseplay, but nothing dangerous and not with any of the tools. There was a lead person showing how to do some of the work and showed what needed doing, and they did it. Luckily, we had some spouses (male and female) who were skilled and wanted to come to the site so we weren't taking time from the Leader or the kids. No one was allowed to wear flip flops and none of the women wore dresses so we actually accomplished a lot in one day, as what the Duggars  could do if they kept the younger kids away from building sites and the girls were allowed to wear pants and put on real shoes. 

Edited by Catlyn
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Barb23

Barb23

I wonder why the Duggars aren't shown "helping" build something on their trips? After all, with all the hands on training & skills they have (according to Boob) they should be able to whip out a few houses while they are there.

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NausetGirl

NausetGirl

I wonder why the Duggars aren't shown "helping" build something on their trips? After all, with all the hands on training & skills they have (according to Boob) they should be able to whip out a few houses while they are there.

 

It's not being shown because it's probably not being done.

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frenchtoast

frenchtoast

We try to allow the conversation to flow naturally, really we do, and we hate having to point you to the topic. It's easy to start off talking about Derick and Jill and wind up talking about the Duggar family and the other tangential subjects, but this is is the Derick and Jill topic. If you find that the conversation has started to shift, feel free to post that you're taking it to a more appropriate thread. There have been way too many off topic posts about citizenship and general/Duggar missionary work in general here. Please try to keep this to Derick and Jill.

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maraleia

maraleia

Since we've made repeated requests for posters to stay on topic we will be deleting all posts in this thread and other threads that are off-topic. The posts in question will be for the month of December. This is your final warning.

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abseedee

abseedee

(edited)

When I first looked at the card, the way Derick's arm is across her & bare arms showing, I thought she had a strapless dress on! Lol. I think it's time for Barb to get new glasses.

Lol, I had to go and look again.  His lower arm could also be mistaken for her chest.

 

I read some of the comments below the pic and some leghumpers are asking for a thank you card.  I wonder if they had given gifts or they just want one because of the pic?

Edited by abseedee
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Mariva

Mariva

Another photo of their thank you card with the message from I assume Jill - http://36.media.tumblr.com/fcb6836f1529d6e25e7f45804475b91a/tumblr_ngan5gPfLD1r9t2zdo1_1280.jpg

 

At least she's handwriting her thank you notes. I'd give her a break anyway. From what I’ve heard she did send all of her wedding guests a card shortly after her wedding. She's been slower to respond to the random gift-givers who weren't on her invite list, but who knows how many hundreds (or thousands) of them there are? Better late than never IMO, and 6 months after the wedding isn't even that late. 

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GEML

GEML

I think you do have a year to write thank you notes, although that's a long time. But let's be honest - a lot of people today don't send them at all, or simply send a printed card. Kudos to Jill if she does send a handwritten note. It's easy to say "it's the least she can do" but far too many brides (AND GROOMS!) send nothing.

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Barb23

Barb23

I think you do have a year to write thank you notes, although that's a long time. But let's be honest - a lot of people today don't send them at all, or simply send a printed card. Kudos to Jill if she does send a handwritten note. It's easy to say "it's the least she can do" but far too many brides (AND GROOMS!) send nothing.

I'll give her a break too. I'm sure when she had bad morning sickness, the last thing she wanted to do was work on thank you notes. Plus the large amount that needed to be done. Like you said, so many couples don't do them at all or they are massed produced with no individuality. (Miss Manners is hyperventilating.)

Abseedee - I wondered the same thing about the people that made comments about the note. I'm sure some of them didn't give a gift & still want one.

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lottiedottie

lottiedottie

Another photo of their thank you card with the message from I assume Jill - http://36.media.tumblr.com/fcb6836f1529d6e25e7f45804475b91a/tumblr_ngan5gPfLD1r9t2zdo1_1280.jpg

 

At least she's handwriting her thank you notes. I'd give her a break anyway. From what I’ve heard she did send all of her wedding guests a card shortly after her wedding. She's been slower to respond to the random gift-givers who weren't on her invite list, but who knows how many hundreds (or thousands) of them there are? Better late than never IMO, and 6 months after the wedding isn't even that late. 

She signed it with a heart between their names, just like a 12 year old might.

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ramble

ramble

A little eww moment & then a realization that I'm old & out of the loop: the thank you note is a vanity card. I know the Instagram generation probably thinks nothing of it, but I find it unappealing. However I do give credit for a thank you note period. (How sad, credit for a thank you note! Get off my lawn.) I'm still disgusted by the lack of them from a couple of my kids teachers when I gave baby gifts. Both thanked everyone generally on Facebook for "gifts from school." Not that I participate on FB, but another parent mentioned that she'd heard that comment was posted. Klassy!

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BitterApple

BitterApple

(edited)

Even if they're a little later than usual, at least Jill is writing thank-you notes. I can't tell you how many gifts I've given over the last year and not received any form of thank-you.

Edited by BitterApple
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graefin

graefin

She signed it with a heart between their names, just like a 12 year old might.

I've noticed that all of them do this. Josh and Anna stenciled "Josh <3 Anna" on one of the doors in their old house, and I am pretty sure I've seen them autograph books this way too. What adult does this? It's similarly immature to talk about how "unacceptable" it is to be apart for X hours a day (because one spouse has to work) or to decorate your bedroom the way a 5-year-old might. They all seem so . . . stunted.

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Rhondinella

Rhondinella

I think I remember, back in the day anyway, being taught that people actually had up to 6 months AFTER the wedding to even send gifts, at least by Emily Post-type etiquette standards.  So, in that case 6 months wouldn't be too late to send a thank you note.  Of course, I think they are expected more quickly these days.  But I agree that if she's handwriting them all that we should give her credit for that and realize there might be hundreds or thousands to do and cut her some slack.

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graefin

graefin

*holds head down in shame* I usually add a heart after my last name when signing personal stuff, cuz well why not. And I am not young. LOL.

That seems different to me, like adding an "XO." What they do seems like the equivalent of writing your name all over your grade-school notebooks with a "<3 [insert object of infatuation here]" next to it.

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Micks Picks

Micks Picks

At last!!!!  The hair is pulled back from her face and in a pony tail.  It looks refreshing.

 

But she must be carrying a hippo in there.  She looks 11 months pregnant, not 6.

 

Again Derrick is thanking God for the work he is doing in ElSalvadore.  OK, great, so why do you need to go.  You can't do better than God, can you?  And since he is partly a Duggar now, he seems to be getting used to not working.

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