Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Absolom]

I wonder how much filming was done at the hospital or if it was all by the Duggars.  I was surprised when they had so much filming with Josie but they had a few hours to make arrangements.  Perhaps that is why Jill went 45 minutes from home.  Maybe they had contacted all the local hospitals and they were the one who would allow filming or else the doctor was one her midwife had an arrangement with to transfer her patients.  Was the midwife from the Siloam Springs area perhaps?  I don't remember her name.  

Edited April 18, 2015 by Absolom

[Micks Picks]

What is the difference between an epidural and a spinal block.  Somehow I thought them the same.  Shot in the back, isn't it?

Also there was talk that indicated no epistiotomy (sp).  Really?  I thought that was kind of normal. But then I don't listen to birth stories much in person.  Read more here in a few days than I ever heard.  And now I'm confused.

[GEML]

Every epidural carries with it the risk of headaches. It's rare, but anyone who suffers migraines or other severe headaches thinks twice about this because we know how debilitating the consequences can be.

I have a chronic pain condition that makes my tolerance very high. When I miscarried fairly late, for instance, I did that naturally.

That said, I opted for the epidural.

However, I completely understand why another woman makes another choice. Nitrous oxide is becoming a popular option - European births have been using it for years, and if I were doing it today, I might consider that.

Edited April 18, 2015 by GEML

[maraleia]

Again a number of you are way off topic. Please take your posts to the correct thread. I will be deleting the last five or six posts by tomorrow morning.

[Wellfleet]

If anyone actually believes that Jill composed that articulate statement about not pursuing her midwifery career at this time, or maybe ever again, I have a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn...hers would sound more like..."us three talked and daddy decided it would be best for me to go that way...like, totally, it's crazy!"

How can Michelle make such a statement about "not being proud" of her children ..."much"...she doesn't like to use that word????What is wrong with her?

What a difference in the quote from Cathy...she told her grandson that she was so glad he was born because now he can know how much she loves him....Wow, no comparison.....Michelle comments on the labor and delivery...doesn't mention her relationship with her grandson, Israel at all.....Cathy is all about her relationship with that baby....

 

Very true. There's no way Jilly-Muffin wrote that statement. The words amazing, precious, totally, crazy, encouraged and surreal aren't used once. Maybe they really do have a competent publicist...

[Marigny]

From the People excerpt of the Jill article for today:

 

"Jill was amazing," Michelle says. "I don't normally use the word 'proud,' but as a parent watching her, I was proud, and she did an amazing job. She is a trouper, that girl. We are so grateful this little man arrived safe and healthy."

 

How very sad that the only way your mom is proud of you is if you have a difficult labor.

What parent doesn't normally use proud when referring to his/her kids? I can't imagine what it must be like feeling as though I have to constantly jump through hoops to gain approval from the one person that should be proud of me, no matter what. 

 

Thank God for being raised in a home with unconditional love and acceptance. 

[graefin]

What parent doesn't normally use proud when referring to his/her kids? I can't imagine what it must be like feeling as though I have to constantly jump through hoops to gain approval from the one person that should be proud of me, no matter what.

There are cultures, you know, where it is "normal" for parents not to use words like this with their kids. My parents never did. I turned out OK ;)

[GEML]

Yes, another where you didn't use words like "proud." My mother grew up in a WASP home where you NEVER praised a child directly, but only indirectly. You never said, for instance, "What a pretty girl." You said, "What a pretty dress."

Not everything is about fundamentalism. I'm betting Queen Elizabeth II doesn't tell Kate Middleton how proud she is of her in a week or two. But I bet Kate's mum does.

[JenCarroll]

I don't think my grandmother-in-law ever said that to me either! Not exactly the same thing.

But I'd bet Prince Charles doesn't say it to William much -- and that Michael Middleton does. So yeah, it's not just fundamentalism -- three are ALL KINDS of emotionally repressed subcultures in the world! :-)

[graefin]

So yeah, it's not just fundamentalism -- three are ALL KINDS of emotionally repressed subcultures in the world! :-)

I know lots of people tend to think in black-and-white terms, but I don't think it's necessarily accurate to attribute it to "emotional repression" in all cases. Avoiding giving and/or accepting overt praise could stem from, among other things, humility (and wanting to teach your children the same).

[GEML]

(Wry tone) the British royals are humble.

[graefin]

Actually, I was speaking of my own culture, not theirs. But thanks for the joke (and for illustrating my point)! ;)

Edited April 18, 2015 by graefin

[Missy Vixen]

I'm guessing the leg humpers won't blink an eye at J-Chelle's latest bon mot re: Jilly Muffin. This is someone who should have never had children. She doesn't have the emotional capacity to love, IMHO.

 

No wonder Jilly Muffin is talking about more kids before her stitches are removed. It's the only way she can win approval from her mother.

[Fuzzysox]

Point of order:

 

I just adjusted the name of this thread to add Baby Izzy to the fun.  Cause why not?

 

As you were.

Iz who? It's RickJamesBitch4Life. lol

 

Alyssa Bates looks gorgeous in a new picture of her, Allie and John. Jill take notes.

[Temperance]

So have we really heard ANYTHING about little Israel?  That he sleeps a lot, or he is very alert, or he has a big appetite, likes to be held?  

Nothing.  It's all about Jill and her trauma.  

I'm not really a baby person, so I don't understand this much. We know his statistics and his name, and he's a baby. Aren't all babies alike? We've seen the pictures. I don't there is much to say at this point. Also I think many young (and may be even older) people only know birth the way it happens in the movies. Jill had many unusual experiences so I think people are interested in that or the media thinks this is more interesting.

Edited April 18, 2015 by Temperance

[Wowzer]

I think that the article was an all-about-Jill piece because it was done right after he was born. Israel was less than a week old when they did the interview and photo shoot so his personality was just starting to peek through. Mentioning one or two little observations about Israel could have gone a long way in the article.  They could have talked about if any of his expressions are Duggar or Dillard-esque. Does he seem strong-willed or easy-going? Maybe how she enjoys night feedings with him or Derick likes bath time because it's his bonding time.  I made up the bath time scenario but in just a few days there are little things to notice that can be shared about a baby. 

Edited April 18, 2015 by Lilytiger

[JoanArc]

Jill wasn't exactly raised in an environment supportive of personality, so I can see why she wouldn't comment on it.

 

I like the renamed thread - though can I suggest we call them the Jillards? Jill's the conductor of that crazy train.

[Seashell Lover]

I think that the article was an all-about-Jill piece because it was done right after he was born. Israel was less than a week old when they did the interview and photo shoot so his personality was just starting to peek through. Mentioning one or two little observations about Israel could have gone a long way in the article.  They could have talked about if any of his expressions are Duggar or Dillard-esque. Does he seem strong-willed or easy-going? Maybe how she enjoys night feedings with him or Derick likes bath time because it's his bonding time.  I made up the bath time scenario but in just a few days there are little things to notice that can be shared about a baby. 

You really think she really knows what here baby is like? All she cares about is one baby down and 19 more to go.

[Wellfleet]

Jill wasn't exactly raised in an environment supportive of personality, so I can see why she wouldn't comment on it.

 

I like the renamed thread - though can I suggest we call them the Jillards? Jill's the conductor of that crazy train.

 

Like this! Or maybe "The Dullards" since they're well on their way to becoming just that...

[Wowzer]

I was speaking more towards what she could mention than what she actually knows about her child.  I hope she's noticed the little expressions and sparks of Israel's personality. I don't think that she'll know all of her children on that level if she becomes a baby mill.  Jill and Israel have a lot of alone time together in the coming weeks and months at least. That she is ready to pop out another one so soon makes me shake my head.  The one positive for the Dillard kids is that Jill knows her J-buddies pretty well. She knows their personalities better than Michelle (though that's not saying much).  Also, I think Anna knows her kids at that level so it can be done. While Jill is seeming more like Michelle every day, she is at least good with kids. 

[truelovekiss]

You really think she really knows what here baby is like? All she cares about is one baby down and 19 more to go.

I'm sure Joy and DerickDullard could tell you all about what little Iz Khalifa is like.

[Literata]

All I could think about as I looked at the photos in the People article was, "My God, he DOES look like Jim-Bob." Those Duggar genes are pretty dominant. It's disappointing, as Boob is Boob and all, but all the Duggar kids are really pretty good-looking, so I imagine Iz will be OK. 

[Joe Jitsu913]

That she is ready to pop out another one so soon makes me shake my head.

Of course she wants to pop out another blessing. She didn't get her totally, awesome,earth mother, natural birth with Israel (uggh... that name!). She's been promised that if she prays to baby Jesus, she will get blessed with the perfect birth experience.

[Literata]

From the People article. Love her.

 

Derick's mother, Cathy, 54, was also there when Israel was born via cesarean section.

"I wasn't worried," Cathy tells PEOPLE. "When your kids hurt – and Jill is really my daughter now – you feel their pain. I felt hers, but it was amazing to watch her and Derick as a team."

Cathy says she had thought of what she wanted to say to her son the moment his son was born.

"I told him, 'Now you can begin to know how much I love you,' " she says. "It was a moment for me. I don't know if it was for him, because he was so sleep deprived at the time, but it was for me."

 

[truthtalk2014]

I'm just flummoxed that they met the Leader of Siblings before their own flesh and blood. And Jill, what is it with the 10 day old in those shoes when you can't be bothered to wear them yourself? kthxbai! :D

 

Those shoes bugged me so much.  His feet never touch the floor.  WTF???  They look so uncomfortable!

 

What's the point of refusing pain medication? Most us were born perfectly normally using a variety of pain relief medications. Just curious. I had two medicated births and one that went too quickly for pain relief and let me tell you, pain relief is a good thing.

I didn't notice Jill refusing pain meds when having her wisdom teeth removed.  Hey, why not go natural on everything Jilly Muffin?

[Vaysh]

All I could think about as I looked at the photos in the People article was, "My God, he DOES look like Jim-Bob." Those Duggar genes are pretty dominant. It's disappointing, as Boob is Boob and all, but all the Duggar kids are really pretty good-looking, so I imagine Iz will be OK.

 

Well, the Duggar women are all pretty good-looking but the lads seem to go downhill once they reach puberty. Cute kids but absolute duds as teens and adults. I have high hopes for that one boy twin (Jed? Jer?). He's got potential, assuming he gets to keep his hair past the age of 18.

[GEML]

And Jill wants her mother's approval more than she wants anything, including her husband's love and children.

[Wowzer]

Of course she wants to pop out another blessing. She didn't get her totally, awesome,earth mother, natural birth with Israel (uggh... that name!). She's been promised that if she prays to baby Jesus, she will get blessed with the perfect birth experience.

Ugh if this becomes a multi-baby quest for her perfect granola birth experience (no disrespect to those who chose a natural birth). Taking into consideration Israel's position and that he expelled meconium early in labor, Israel's birth was perfect.  Healthy mama, healthy baby is all that should matter.  I know it wasn't her ideal, but it's a success as long as the baby's out. What kills me is that they would be pointing the finger at medical professionals if something tragic did happen.  Would Jill be considered high-risk going forward or have to be under the care of an OBGYN for a VBAC?

 

Michelle did quite a number on the kids in various ways.  Jill did everything asked of her and it takes childbirth for Michelle to give her some sort of praise. Jill at least has Jim Bob even if it isn't the same as Michelle's approval.

Edited April 18, 2015 by Lilytiger

[EarlGreyTea]

From the People article. Love her.

Derick's mother, Cathy, 54, was also there when Israel was born via cesarean section.

"I wasn't worried," Cathy tells PEOPLE. "When your kids hurt – and Jill is really my daughter now – you feel their pain. I felt hers, but it was amazing to watch her and Derick as a team."

Cathy says she had thought of what she wanted to say to her son the moment his son was born.

"I told him, 'Now you can begin to know how much I love you,' " she says. "It was a moment for me. I don't know if it was for him, because he was so sleep deprived at the time, but it was for me."

 

Lovely. And what a contrast to Michelle. I know no one can replace a mother's approval, but maybe Jill will gravitate to Cathy, who gives her approval easily. Or maybe the challenge of getting Michelle's approval is what makes Jill try harder. I hope Jill knows she's lucky to have a decent mother-in-law.

[Seashell Lover]

Hopefully Dill will see and realize what a real family is like.

[Micks Picks]

All that praying and reciting verses, and God said "No, Jill".  

 

So she is going to do all that praying all over again trying for a natural #2.

 

When will she get around to talking like a normal person and thanking the professionals for getting that kid out of her safely, both for her and the baby?  

 

I'd put my trust in the professionals who keep you updated on what's happening and repeatedly do their best for the mom and child.

[Ljohnson1987]

I have a feeling that Jill is going to test God until she can't anymore. She'll pop out the babies until she can't

[JenCarroll]

All I could think about as I looked at the photos in the People article was, "My God, he DOES look like Jim-Bob." Those Duggar genes are pretty dominant. It's disappointing, as Boob is Boob and all, but all the Duggar kids are really pretty good-looking, so I imagine Iz will be OK.

It's the mouth!

And Jill wants her mother's approval more than she wants anything, including her husband's love and children.

Yes. Exactly.

[Ljohnson1987]

Jill is so clingy. How will she drive Derrick to work with six or seven kids?

[Readalot]

I was speaking more towards what she could mention than what she actually knows about her child. I hope she's noticed the little expressions and sparks of Israel's personality. I don't think that she'll know all of her children on that level if she becomes a baby mill. Jill and Israel have a lot of alone time together in the coming weeks and months at least. That she is ready to pop out another one so soon makes me shake my head. The one positive for the Dillard kids is that Jill knows her J-buddies pretty well. She knows their personalities better than Michelle (though that's not saying much). Also, I think Anna knows her kids at that level so it can be done. While Jill is seeming more like Michelle every day, she is at least good with kids.

Jill is not thinking of noticing the details of her son. She is thinking "cool, finally done with my child rearing. Retirement time for me. Who am I going to choose to be the Buddy Mom of RickJamesBitch!? Let's see, how many weeks before we can try again? Now I get to spend quality time with Mama at Starbucks and the home gym."

[JenCarroll]

Jill is so clingy. How will she drive Derrick to work with six or seven kids?

Oh, you think 7 or 8 is a little young to start babysitting? Bet Jill doesn't! :-)

[Wellfleet]

Jill is so clingy. How will she drive Derrick to work with six or seven kids?

 

If Derick has even one ounce of gumption in him, he'll tell Jill right now - "From now on, I'm drive myself. You've just had major surgery, plus you have a baby to look after, plus this huge house. Even if you drag a sister or two over to help, you still have plenty to keep you busy all day. I'll look forward to talking to you at lunch, hon. And feel free to call or text if you need me to pick up anything on the way home. But this is our life now. We're adults and parents - this is how adults live..."

 

Gotta admit, I'd buy tickets to this show.

[GEML]

See, I don't think she was as clingy as people thought. And I'm not sure that Jill was the only one that "clung". We've all commented on how awkward they look together, and it's quite possible to me that Derick was the one trying to spend some fellowshipping time with his wife alone in a desperate attempt to get to know her before the baby arrived.

She may be the one who says, "we have a baby. We need to do more shilling to buy a second car. Sorry babe!"

[JenCarroll]

Or just get another car. I'm sure the lord will provide if they purpose to pray on it.

[Temperance]

Don't the Duggars still own a car dealership? and couldn't they get them a great deal on a car? 

 

As for babies, again not very experienced but they all kind of have the same personality. Also I have been told by my mother that I have different personality as a child and an adult than I did as baby. (I was a laid back baby and not so much any more.)

 

Of course the "real" reason she doesn't know anything about his personality is that he is not eating food yet. How does she know whether or not he likes pickles yet?

Edited April 19, 2015 by Temperance

[truelovekiss]

If Derick has even one ounce of gumption in him, he'll tell Jill right now - "From now on, I'm drive myself. You've just had major surgery, plus you have a baby to look after, plus this huge house. Even if you drag a sister or two over to help, you still have plenty to keep you busy all day. I'll look forward to talking to you at lunch, hon. And feel free to call or text if you need me to pick up anything on the way home. But this is our life now. We're adults and parents - this is how adults live..."

Gotta admit, I'd buy tickets to this show.

I can't imagine he could get all that out without Jilly Muffin interrupting him. And I can only imagine the tears, and threats to call daddy. I could see this being their first fight. They'll probably angrily quote scripture (and Gothard) at each other.

[JenCarroll]

Don't the Duggars still own a car dealership? and couldn't they get them a great deal on a car? 

 

As for babies, again not very experienced but they all kind of have the same personality. Also I have been told by my mother that I have different personality as a child and an adult than I did as baby. (I was a laid back baby and not so much any more.)

Oh, they are all individuals from minute one, and every day their personality develops more. But sure, people change a lot and it's not unusual to see the temperament shift at transition points like infant-to-child, child-to-adolescent. Part of the fun of parenthood is that your kids will always surprise you.

[ramble]

I had one non-sleeper & one quasi-decent sleeper. They both came out with distinct personalities & while they have obviously matured & changed some, their base characteristics were there at birth. If baby Iz sleeps a lot maybe Jilly hasn't been able to observe him as much, or maybe I'm giving her too much credit & she is simply thinking: Baby #1... Check, second one coming soon. Sigh.

[Wowzer]

Jill is not thinking of noticing the details of her son. She is thinking "cool, finally done with my child rearing. Retirement time for me. Who am I going to choose to be the Buddy Mom of RickJamesBitch!? Let's see, how many weeks before we can try again? Now I get to spend quality time with Mama at Starbucks and the home gym."

Do you think all of the J'slaves will think this way or just Jill? The sad thing is that noting these things are basic. It comes from just interacting with your kid. Hell, this board has stated that Marcus takes after Keller family rather than the Duggars.

I do think that Jill views herself as a part of the mommy club now and she will become more smug. I will be disgusted if she uses Joy as an Aunt-mom for Israel.

[Fuzzysox]

All I could think about as I looked at the photos in the People article was, "My God, he DOES look like Jim-Bob." Those Duggar genes are pretty dominant. It's disappointing, as Boob is Boob and all, but all the Duggar kids are really pretty good-looking, so I imagine Iz will be OK.

LOL I told you so. RickJames looks exactly like Boob. I don't see either Jill nor Derick when I look at him.

[Sew Sumi]

See, I don't think she was as clingy as people thought. And I'm not sure that Jill was the only one that "clung". We've all commented on how awkward they look together, and it's quite possible to me that Derick was the one trying to spend some fellowshipping time with his wife alone in a desperate attempt to get to know her before the baby arrived.

She may be the one who says, "we have a baby. We need to do more shilling to buy a second car. Sorry babe!"

Disagree. Jill constantly runs over Derick's every utterance. She is both the Stage 43 clinger as well as the ruler of the roost. 

[Marigny]

I'm sure Joy and DerickDullard could tell you all about what little Iz Khalifa is like.

You win the Internet for that name!

[Fuzzysox]

I'm sure Joy and DerickDullard could tell you all about what little Iz Khalifa is like.

OMG I can't stop laughing at the name you came up with. Jill really failed at picking a good name for the poor boo boo.

[truelovekiss]

Glad you guys like Iz Khalifa :) I'm really hoping that kid will turn out to be a rapper or something totally unsanctioned by Jilly Muffin and the church of Boob.

[GEML]

There is ruler of the roost, and clingy. I think Michelle rules the roost, but Jim Bob clings, for instance.

The other issue no one likes to mention is there is the personality through the eyes of the mother and the actual personality of the child. In an genuine relationship the space between the two isn't all that large. But let's face it, that's an enormous gap between Michelle and her children, and if Jill's early days are any indication, there is some possibility she may go down this road as well.