Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Sew Sumi]

Hopefully he graduated to a red Solo cup for the marriage proposal. ;)

 

I also think that registry is a fake. So many top of the line, expensive items! Who really puts a $200 hair straightener on their registry? I noticed that it was added to The Knot this morning, but there's no bio information accompanying it. Even Jill had that, even if most of the categories could only be seen with a password.

 

If this registry is really Jessa's, shame on her! Who is going to buy them all of this expensive shit at the last minute? If they had a year, they might get that Kitchen Aid stand mixer or the $600 Dyson, but a cheap, hastily thrown together wedding deserves gifts on par with the quality of the wedding. If it really only 5 weeks from now, she might not even get to wear her own dress (unless she went against what she said on the show about not trying on dresses until she had a ring). On a Wednesday? Couldn't get a church on a Saturday at the last minute? If real, does this mean Bin really isn't in school, because who can take off right before midterms to get married?

 

So much points to this being fake.

Edited August 24, 2014 by Sew Sumi

[wanderwoman]

I agree with those who question how long this will last. I hate to doom anyone with negativity from the get go, but this whole relationship seems very immature. Bin is 19. 19! In fundy circles, this guy is going to be charged with the responsibility of supporting a very large family and a woman who, from all appearances, is the most materialistic Duggar. Further, if you read the book Jim Bob suggested for Josh upon his wedding, their marriage guru (Dr. ED Wheat) charges all married couples to spend at least a week in a secluded honeymoon and at least a month off work at home. ATI materials, as well as Wheat, suggest not marrying in the middle of school or other transitions. It makes me wonder if Bin has some secret cash stash or flow? But, back to my biggest worry, Bin is 19. None of us are the same at 30 as we were at 19. In fact, most people aren't the same at 21 that they were at 19. I just don't see the rush.

Marrying someone is a huge step. Even for people who cohabitaed, it's an adjustment. Even for people who dated and had time alone, it's an adjustment. One thing the media isn't highlighting is just how little time (none, in fact) Jessa and Bin have spent alone. Any relationship looks golden when they are on their best behavior because other people are around. It's the little things that you learn about someone when no one us watching that really define who they are. I can't imagine how challenging it would be to leave and cleave unto someone who, by all rights, isn't a fully functioning, individual. At least Derrick had been out of his mom's house and experienced the world before settling down.

Now, on to pure snark.

The registry. Oh boy! What was I saying about materialism? How many comforter sets do you really need? And, I'm guessing having 1000+ people show up for Jill's wedding became an eye opener for Binessa. They have so much stuff on their registry! Since when do you expect wedding guests to buy K Cups and cleaning fluid and curling irons? Make-up cases? Really? LED garland? How can you, with any conscience, go on poverty tours in Central America and bemoan the fact that families don't have necessities, only to ask for car vent clips and beauty products in your registry? What about donations to a charity? How about asking guests to donate to that ministry you support?

I also think that registry is a fake. So many top of the line, expensive items! Who really puts a $200 hair straightener on their registry? I noticed that it was added to The Knot this

 

So much points to this being fake.

I think it's legit. You can't create an online registry without showing ID at the store.

[BitterApple]

Why is there such a rush for the wedding? I have a feeling it's going to be a hot mess. A month is barely any time to plan, even if you aren't doing the whole shebang in terms of dinner/reception. I don't know how she'll be able to get a dress altered in that short a time, even if she buys off the rack. 

 

I just feel like there's a lot more going on behind the scenes than what is being presented to the public. If I didn't know any better, I'd almost say this is a shotgun wedding. Wouldn't that just be awesome?

[DangerousMinds]

Clearly Jessa already has all the hair and beauty tools she needs. Sickening and clueless.

[wanderwoman]

[dquote name=BitterApple" post="317213" timestamp="1408914544]Why is there such a rush for the wedding? I have a feeling it's going to be a hot mess. A month is barely any time to plan, even if you aren't doing the whole shebang in terms of dinner/reception. I don't know how she'll be able to get a dress altered in that short a time, even if she buys off the rack. 

 

I just feel like there's a lot more going on behind the scenes than what is being presented to the public. If I didn't know any better, I'd almost say this is a shotgun wedding. Wouldn't that just be awesome?

I think the courtship thing is kind of a mere formality. I mean, the whole point is to discern whether the object of your interest is a viable marriage option. It was a huge deal when Zack and his first girl broke off their courtship. If they truly believe that dating is dangerous, then you can assume that, by time time you hit courtship, it's essentially an engagement. So, I would guess that the actual ring exchange is more of a public announcement than it is a change of status. I think they rush to marry because the physical piece of the relationship is much more tantalizing when you know you get to hit that. Better to have a quicky wedding than risk sin. All that to say, I don't think she has much left to plan. I would guess she and Jill picked a theme they could both live with and, with the exception of a little color differences, they'll use the same stuff. These are the people who bought commercial size rolls of pink and green streamers and used them at every family event for three years. They utilize friends for set-up and breakdown. There's no dancing, drinks/bar, or sit down meals. And, if you're used to dealing with mass quantities, this is really no different than Sunday afternoon with the Bates family. What makes most weddings necessitate a longer engagement is getting all the vendors in line and planning. They've done that.

[PinkSprinkles]

Why is there such a rush for the wedding? I have a feeling it's going to be a hot mess. A month is barely any time to plan, even if you aren't doing the whole shebang in terms of dinner/reception. I don't know how she'll be able to get a dress altered in that short a time, even if she buys off the rack. 

 

I just feel like there's a lot more going on behind the scenes than what is being presented to the public. If I didn't know any better, I'd almost say this is a shotgun wedding. Wouldn't that just be awesome?

 

I started to write a comment about this. I planned my wedding in six months and the alterations people were in a panic because they only had five months to make alterations on my dress (it had to have sleeves added in addition to the standard alterations) while most brides had their dresses ordered a full year or more in advance. Even an off the rack dress that has to have sleeves added will take at least six weeks to complete if you want it done somewhat competently. I remember my seamstress having to call up the company that made the dress to have them ship the exact fabric my dress was made from for the sleeves and special order crystals to bead the sleeves with to match the beading on the dress. It was quite an ordeal and my dress wasn't finished until a week and half before the wedding. 

 

I also wonder how they'll get invitations out in one month without using the local Walgreens photoshop. It's standard etiquette to mail announcements out six-eight weeks in advance so if someone wants to attend they can adjust their schedule. 

Edited August 24, 2014 by PinkSprinkles

[LazyToaster]

Standard etiquette? I don't think they will be too concerned about that. These are the same people who think it is okie dokie to be late all the damn time.

[SmallTownMom]

Just looked at their registry.  Wow!  What's up with all the HUGE stockpots & mixing bowls and measuring cups?  And a 7.5 quart colander?  How many comforters do you have on that registry?  They must have a house already, because there are even curtains on there.  And who registers for cleaing supplies and hand soap?  I remember taking our wedding money and buying necessities like that on our first grocery shopping trip.  A $130 shaver?  Expensive curing iron and straightener?  Glad to see she registered for an apron, since Ben likes to watch Jessa cook "in her cute little apron with her hair all done up."

 

Sure hope those makeup remover towelettes are the large economy pack.

 

Greedy!!

[Absolom]

I have done a wedding in six weeks and had time to spare.  We did buy an off the rack gown (not at David's), but alterations only took two days by a wedding gown design shop.  No beaded sleeves were needed though.  As has been shown by the two Bates daughters, David's Bridal uses fabric on hand for alterations and doesn't bead the additions.  Hopefully Jessa won't have to deal with that or perhaps she ordered her gown at the same time they did Jill's gown. 

 

With the simple receptions that they have on-site, it would be a bit of work, but certainly doable.  Was it Kelly Bates who did email invitations? 

[abseedee]

Hopefully Jessa won't have to deal with that or perhaps she ordered her gown at the same time they did Jill's gown. 

IIRC, when they were in New York and walked into that bridal shop, Jessa refused to try on a gown until after she was engaged.  But who knows, she may have had a change of mind and was thinking that a proposal was coming, and did order one the same time as Jill.

[Sew Sumi]

I agree with those who question how long this will last. I hate to doom anyone with negativity from the get go, but this whole relationship seems very immature. Bin is 19. 19! In fundy circles, this guy is going to be charged with the responsibility of supporting a very large family and a woman who, from all appearances, is the most materialistic Duggar. Further, if you read the book Jim Bob suggested for Josh upon his wedding, their marriage guru (Dr. ED Wheat) charges all married couples to spend at least a week in a secluded honeymoon and at least a month off work at home. ATI materials, as well as Wheat, suggest not marrying in the middle of school or other transitions. It makes me wonder if Bin has some secret cash stash or flow? But, back to my biggest worry, Bin is 19. None of us are the same at 30 as we were at 19. In fact, most people aren't the same at 21 that they were at 19. I just don't see the rush.

Marrying someone is a huge step. Even for people who cohabitaed, it's an adjustment. Even for people who dated and had time alone, it's an adjustment. One thing the media isn't highlighting is just how little time (none, in fact) Jessa and Bin have spent alone. Any relationship looks golden when they are on their best behavior because other people are around. It's the little things that you learn about someone when no one us watching that really define who they are. I can't imagine how challenging it would be to leave and cleave unto someone who, by all rights, isn't a fully functioning, individual. At least Derrick had been out of his mom's house and experienced the world before settling down.

Now, on to pure snark.

The registry. Oh boy! What was I saying about materialism? How many comforter sets do you really need? And, I'm guessing having 1000+ people show up for Jill's wedding became an eye opener for Binessa. They have so much stuff on their registry! Since when do you expect wedding guests to buy K Cups and cleaning fluid and curling irons? Make-up cases? Really? LED garland? How can you, with any conscience, go on poverty tours in Central America and bemoan the fact that families don't have necessities, only to ask for car vent clips and beauty products in your registry? What about donations to a charity? How about asking guests to donate to that ministry you support?

I think it's legit. You can't create an online registry without showing ID at the store.

A friend of mine tested it last night and was able to set up a registry online without any gateways. So it could well be a fake. Since no other registries have been added, other than adding BBB to The Knot, I think it might have just been how a bored Duggar snarker passed a Saturday night.

[Ljohnson1987]

I bet Jessa will use Jill's gown. They said that their wedding will be similar to Dill's. Of course. 

[wanderwoman]

I love you, SewSumi, so please don't think I'm trying to argue. :)

What I discovered was that, yes, you can create an online registry. But, there are items on that registry that are "only available in store". Also, my friend and I were curious, so we tried doing the registry and adding candy bars and a few other items online- you can't. Some of those items were store specific. I really think that's their registry. The other clue, for me, were the candle scents. One of them is Jessa's favorite and clearance priced. You can't register the item online. Just my thoughts.

I bet Jessa will use Jill's gown. They said that their wedding will be similar to Dill's. Of course.

I doubt they will use the same gown. Jill is a different body shape than Jess and I think Princess Jessa would insist on her own gown/style.

[mimionthebeach]

Maybe she'll wear Michelle's gown or borrow one from the Bates'... and save the difference.

[Ljohnson1987]

J'Chelle's gown is ugly! 

[Fuzzysox]

I have a question about that site The Knot. Since I'm old and we didn't have stuff like that in my day, I've seen some fundie ones and they quickly put up their "story" and then I saw Erin's say, the date TBD. So I think Jessa's is a complete fake. I think she will marry closer to November. The October date seems like a huge RUSH.

[PinkSprinkles]

If they want to get married so fast then they just need to go to the courthouse and get it done there. This 37 days of planning is not enough time to put a decent wedding together. 

[Ljohnson1987]

Because then there would be nothing for TLC to film. A courthouse wedding is not good enough material. 

[bigskygirl]

It looks like Ben and Jessa will be getting married on November 1st.

[Libby96]

That would make more sense being a Saturday and all.

Call me closed minded, but any wedding with a teenage groom kind of freaks me out.

[lottiedottie]

It looks like Ben and Jessa will be getting married on November 1sr.

Why they gotta go and ruin my birthday?

[Fostersmom]

Aww… now they can announce they're pregnant on Christmas. 

[Sew Sumi]

I love you, SewSumi, so please don't think I'm trying to argue. :)

What I discovered was that, yes, you can create an online registry. But, there are items on that registry that are "only available in store". Also, my friend and I were curious, so we tried doing the registry and adding candy bars and a few other items online- you can't. Some of those items were store specific. I really think that's their registry. The other clue, for me, were the candle scents. One of them is Jessa's favorite and clearance priced. You can't register the item online. Just my thoughts.

 

Oh, I wanted to be wrong so I could snark on Jessa and her greed! As noted, they changed the date to 11/1, although The Knot still had 10/1 listed as of about an hour ago. So, they're going cheap as far as the actual wedding goes, but attempting an all-out gift grab with a little more than 2 months' lead time? Who do they know that can afford those big ticket items? All of their friends are worse off then Jessa's family, who are at the top of Fundie Royalty with their presence in the "real world."  Will Poor Jessa be stuck using her old makeup bag and/or flat iron? Will she have to send Binbob to the auctions with Boob to buy a used vacuum cleaner? Horrors! The registry is preposterous, at best.

[wanderwoman]

I don't know why I giggled at the false drama regarding Jessa using an old flat iron. Lol.

I honestly don't know how those families got to Jill's wedding. You would think the coin required to fund these huge families driving to BumChuck Arkansas would be prohibitive. The saddest part is that people like the Jeubs travel a thousand miles in broken vehicles just to say they were there.

[Hpmec]

Registries and dates aside, I just find it so incredibly sad that these kids (and at 19 Ben is a kid) are taking on the adult responsibilities of marriage in order to simply be able to spend time alone together. There's so much screwed up about It, it's tough to know where to start. When Jessa wakes up the morning after the hot sex wedding night, she may well look at Ben and have huge buyer's remorse. Unfortunately, she'll be stuck with the reality that, in her case, all sales are final. I see an unhappy future for those two.

[DangerousMinds]

Um, I don't think the wedding night sex will be particularly hot. I do think it will be very quick.

[mimionthebeach]

Um, I don't think the wedding night sex will be particularly hot. I do think it will be very quick.

He's 19, they can go again in 20 minutes.

[abseedee]

He's 19, they can go again in 20 minutes.

And maybe not as quick as the first time but still quick.

Edited August 26, 2014 by abseedee

[Fuzzysox]

Does anyone else think that they put a lot of expensive gifts on their registries thinking the "fans" would be krazy enough to buy it for them thinking they are not well off? Also I wonder if Jill who may or may not get a spin off has gotten any "gifts" from actual companies to display on her counter for their free advertising???

[BitterApple]

Registries and dates aside, I just find it so incredibly sad that these kids (and at 19 Ben is a kid) are taking on the adult responsibilities of marriage in order to simply be able to spend time alone together. There's so much screwed up about It, it's tough to know where to start. When Jessa wakes up the morning after the hot sex wedding night, she may well look at Ben and have huge buyer's remorse. Unfortunately, she'll be stuck with the reality that, in her case, all sales are final. I see an unhappy future for those two.

 

Totally agree. I don't see the same spark and easy friendship with these two that is obviously present with Derick and Jill. I think Ben and Jessa are physically attracted to one another and that's about it. Bin is pissy and immature and can't stand to let anyone get the best of him. Jessa is deadpan and snarky. Talk about a  match made in hell. 

 

Does anyone else think that they put a lot of expensive gifts on their registries thinking the "fans" would be krazy enough to buy it for them thinking they are not well off? Also I wonder if Jill who may or may not get a spin off has gotten any "gifts" from actual companies to display on her counter for their free advertising???

 

Yep, absolutely. IIRC, fans bought a ton of items off of Erin Bates' registry. Considering most of these Fundie families live off bologna and Ramen, there had to be an ulterior motive to putting $200 items on the registry. Sadly, I think their dimwit leg humpers are stupid enough to buy them. If Jill is smart she's getting paid. Most reality shows blur out brand logos unless they're being compensated for the advertising.

[Fuzzysox]

My BFF from high school married a guy just like Bin. He was controlling while they dated and even more so they got married. He always gave me the creeps as no one was allowed to be with my BFF without him being there. Recently I've discovered they got a divorce. I guess she finally woke UP!! I sure hope that Jessa doesn't end up in the exact same situation.

[BitterApple]

Fuzzysox, I hope so too and I can relate. A friend of mine married a controlling douchebag as well. He was one of those guys that our group of friends literally hated the second we met him. Unfortunately his personality reminds me a lot of Bin's. He was always spouting off on subjects he knew nothing about, his opinion was always right, he couldn't take a joke or good-natured teasing and he had a certain "vision" of how a perfect relationship was supposed to be, and there was no deviating from it. 

 

Bin actually reminds me of Esther Keller's husband. Dumb as a box of rocks and willing to harm his family because it's what HE feels is right.

[wanderwoman]

Um, I don't think the wedding night sex will be particularly hot. I do think it will be very quick.

I think their first time will be quick and dirty. There's just no way a young lady can go from sexually repressed and virginal to hot, honeymoon vixen. I would guess that they don't actually get to penetrating intercourse the first night. And, after a guy denies himself ANY release, or feel 's sinful about masturbation, I would think he'd have a hard time maintaining his arousal too long before blast off.

Does anyone else think that they put a lot of expensive gifts on their registries thinking the "fans" would be krazy enough to buy it for them thinking they are not well off? Also I wonder if Jill who may or may not get a spin off has gotten any "gifts" from actual companies to display on her counter for their free advertising???

I agree. I think they saw the gift windfall that the Dillards got (it's rumored that they had enough gifts to necessitate a room in the warehouse Jim Bob owns on the property) and figured they'd go for broke. I also imagine that, on the heels of everyone travelling for Jill's wedding, they'll have a lot of guests send guilt gifts because another trip isn't in the cards. I would be willing to bet that there will be many returns for store credit.

[DangerousMinds]

He's 19, they can go again in 20 minutes.

Jessa can look forward to being sore and having a painful UTI. Woooo!

[Ljohnson1987]

You'd think they'd wait until November, and get married around Jessa's birthday. Because the Duggars' would do something tacky
like that.

Guess they are. Figures. Smuggar did proposes to Anna on her birthday and all.

Edited August 26, 2014 by Ljohnson1987

[BitterApple]

That would make more sense being a Saturday and all.

Call me closed minded, but any wedding with a teenage groom kind of freaks me out.

 

My nephew is 19. Whenever I look at him and his friends, sitting on the couch glued to X-Box and SportsCenter, I try to picture what it would be like to put my financial, social, emotional and physical well-being in their hands. They're good kids, but hell, I wouldn't want to be dependent upon them for survival. As much as the Duggars and their ilk think they have a leg up on us heathens, they really don't. Bin has no education, no trade and no real work experience. I don't get what  makes him husband material.

[GEML]

The flip side is, if he isn't going to go and get a college education, and he will be taking on some sort of trade such as the windshield or car lot business, and part of their lives will be to "encourage" people via the show, what is the reason for waiting?

[PinkSprinkles]

If Ben takes on a trade he should really become a plumber or electrician. Plumbers make a fortune on house calls, especially in the winter. 

[galax-arena]

I think Ben’s cute, but that’s the only thing he has going for him, and cuteness does not husband material make. At least once you’re older than 13. When I was 13, I thought that Taylor Hanson would be the best husband. 

[BitterApple]

If Ben takes on a trade he should really become a plumber or electrician. Plumbers make a fortune on house calls, especially in the winter. 

 

So true. My sister is a CFO for a large company which installs the plumbing/heating for large construction projects and the union plumbers make over a 100k a year where she lives. I don't know why the Duggars don't encourage their kids who are mechanically inclined to go to trade school. Bin could make a hell of a lot more money doing that than fixing windshields or working for State Farm at eight bucks an hour. 

[DangerousMinds]

The flip side is, if he isn't going to go and get a college education, and he will be taking on some sort of trade such as the windshield or car lot business, and part of their lives will be to "encourage" people via the show, what is the reason for waiting?

Maybe waiting to get established in a trade first, before the wedding?

[EtheltoTillie]

So true. My sister is a CFO for a large company which installs the plumbing/heating for large construction projects and the union plumbers make over a 100k a year where she lives. I don't know why the Duggars don't encourage their kids who are mechanically inclined to go to trade school. Bin could make a hell of a lot more money doing that than fixing windshields or working for State Farm at eight bucks an hour. 

Well, they might have to go to people's homes and be defrauded by housewives.

[Fuzzysox]

Oh the irony they are getting married November 1st All Saints Day a holiday for Catholics!!

[bigskygirl]

Trade school would require responsibility and commitment and lets face it, these two requirements are not two of Ben's strong points. Plus, his religious rantings may turn future employers or customers away from him. He probably would be only be allowed to work with people who follow his and the Duggar beliefs. I would be surprise if he is still with State Farm since his religious rants have become a focus on some social media sites.

[Skittl1321]

 

Oh the irony they are getting married November 1st All Saints Day a holiday for Catholics!!

Too be fair, there are very few dates that aren't celebrated on the Catholic calendar.

[Ljohnson1987]

I hope that Benessa don’t raise their children like Smuggar and Anna.  Let them be kids. Let them go to public school, and have friends.  Let’s face it. J’Chelle and Boob are huge hypocrites! They dated, kissed before marriage, and have baggage because of it. Which I’m almost not buying. So, J’Chelle was so scarred by how she approached and dated the man that she eventually  married, that she went apeshit crazy, and won’t let her children have any of the experiences that she had? Yeah, right! J’Chelle drank the Gothard Kool-Aid and never looked back. I hope that some of the kids aren’t poisoned enough to raise their kids normally. We don’t need more Jesus robots out there.

[Fuzzysox]

My family in Italy makes a big deal out of All Saints Day on the Catholic calendar. Most Americans don't really think of it as a holiday but my family does so there to Bin getting married on a Catholic holiday!! lol Oh someone better let his asshole father know about it to. Perhaps the wedding can be canceled because of it. *snicker*

[DangerousMinds]

Bin is so desperate to get laid that I doubt anything else matters to him.

[lookeyloo]

Just saw a video clip on people.com where Ben has moved I to the Duggar "guest house" and is doing odd jobs for JB.

[stafford]

People magazine is reporting that Bin moved into the Duggar compound in a guest house a few weeks ago. He is working for J'Boob on construction, mowing the lawn (yup) and some other jobs I can't remember while he continues his on-line college studies. The article goes on to state that he lived two or four hours away (my memory is failing me) and J'Chelle and the Boob discussed it and decided he should move in so he and Jessa could get to know each other better. Then there was some discussion about temptation but that Jessa and Bin can now hold hands but are saving the first kiss for the wedding.

I'm guessing that they wanted Bin away from his father's influence and so they could exert more control over Bin.

Sick, sick, sicko.

Edited to acknowledge that LookeyLoo beat me to the story!

Edited August 27, 2014 by stafford