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Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

Maverick

By Maverick
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3pwood

3pwood

Today, a nice cashier at a store that didn't have what I wanted suggested that I try Big Lots, where she'd often found the product at a low price.  She was so sweet & helpful, I didn't have the heart to tell her that I refuse to shop at Big Lots because of their horrendous holiday commercial.  I may check it out, but I'll be gritting my teeth the whole time. 

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Zevious Zoquis
Zevious Zoquis

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that this is the wrong 470 page forum thread for you.  lol

Eliot
Eliot

Speaking of "awful and cruel" ads, the one for that home healthcare company, Brightstar I think it's called, makes me want to scream and throw things at the TV. It's narrated by a woman whose mother i

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NinjaPenguins

NinjaPenguins

I hate a particular genre of commercial - the schmaltzy diamond commercials that pop up like glittery hives during the holidays. I don't care that he went to Jared, my nieces call chocolate diamonds "poop diamonds," and I don't need to hear Vera Wang's opinion on the perfect engagement ring. Every kiss does not begin with Kay, and bravo, jewelry industry, for trying to manipulate people into buying TWO diamonds, one for your true love and the other for your best friend. Must be awkward when they're two different people. I reserve special animus for the cheesetastic douchecanoe who tells us "She sees the world a little differently, and by some miracle she said yes to me. And she will make the best mom ever." For the love of dog, stop running that fucking ad every year.

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RCharter

RCharter

I hate a particular genre of commercial - the schmaltzy diamond commercials that pop up like glittery hives during the holidays. I don't care that he went to Jared, my nieces call chocolate diamonds "poop diamonds," and I don't need to hear Vera Wang's opinion on the perfect engagement ring. Every kiss does not begin with Kay, and bravo, jewelry industry, for trying to manipulate people into buying TWO diamonds, one for your true love and the other for your best friend. Must be awkward when they're two different people. I reserve special animus for the cheesetastic douchecanoe who tells us "She sees the world a little differently, and by some miracle she said yes to me. And she will make the best mom ever." For the love of dog, stop running that fucking ad every year.

You're also supposed to buy people a car....and a giant bow.

 

Happy Holidays Bitches!*

 

*Bitches was meant in a joking way, no offense meant

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RCharter

RCharter

Yeah, I've never got a car for Christmas! *sniff*

obviously someone was lying when they said they love you, because the only way you'll know if its real love is if someone buys you a new Lexus.....with a red bow on top.

 

I'm sorry to have had to be the one to break it to you....but its much better to hear it from a stranger on the internet :)

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NinjaPenguins

NinjaPenguins

Very clever, Moose...very clever indeed.

I've noticed that people aren't just buying the Lexus brand for Xmas anymore. I've seen annoying holiday commercials where a dipshit gets a Nissan or people buy themselves a GMC on Black Friday, proving their superiority to their late night/early morning shopping neighbors. The GMC spot in particular chaps my ass, because the buyer may have indeed saved thousands off the normal price, but I bet they still spent quite a bit more than their neighbors. And even if they didn't, there's still no need to be a Smuggy McSmuggerson to your neighbor.

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BabyVegas

BabyVegas

I hate a particular genre of commercial - the schmaltzy diamond commercials that pop up like glittery hives during the holidays. I don't care that he went to Jared, my nieces call chocolate diamonds "poop diamonds," and I don't need to hear Vera Wang's opinion on the perfect engagement ring. 

Your nieces aren't wrong. Based on what I remember from when I sold engagement rings (years ago), chocolate diamonds are diamonds on the lowest end of the color scale. These are diamonds that would have been ground up for things like drill bit coating if some clever ad agency hadn't come up with the term "chocolate diamond" and then run an ad campaign. Also (in my humble opinion) Vera Wang's engagement rings are tickity-tack-tacky. Over-designed and fussy. Generally they're designed to be busy so that your eye keeps moving and you can put a lower-quality diamond in the setting without it being terribly noticeable. And if you go to Kay's, Zales, or Jared, you are very probably going to get ripped off. A friend of mine went into Kay's to look at engagement rings and I went with him as his designated "no you may not buy that" friend. Many of their diamonds weren't GIA or AGS certified and their stuff was several hundred to a thousand dollars more expensive than what you can get for a comparable diamond by going through a broker. I'd say my favorite part of Christmas being over is that the jewelry store commercials go away but they don't because then we're on to Valentine's Day.

 

And I agree with y'all, those car ads are infuriating. Actually, I could probably do a solid ten minutes on why I hate nearly every car ad I've seen in the past month. And no matter how Nissan tries to convince me that their standard sedan is going to blow my socks off with fun, I still don't believe it. I've driven several Nissans. My mother owned one. I had one as a loaner when my car had to go in for major repair work. Excluding the Z, which was designed to be a sports car, they are stable, relatively affordable cars that will get you from Point A to Point B. 

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Haleth

Haleth

I hate a particular genre of commercial - the schmaltzy diamond commercials that pop up like glittery hives during the holidays. I don't care that he went to Jared, my nieces call chocolate diamonds "poop diamonds," and I don't need to hear Vera Wang's opinion on the perfect engagement ring. Every kiss does not begin with Kay, and bravo, jewelry industry, for trying to manipulate people into buying TWO diamonds, one for your true love and the other for your best friend. Must be awkward when they're two different people. I reserve special animus for the cheesetastic douchecanoe who tells us "She sees the world a little differently, and by some miracle she said yes to me. And she will make the best mom ever." For the love of dog, stop running that fucking ad every year.

As someone who has been waiting for daughter's boyfriend to put a ring on it for 2 years, I would have gladly had these commercials on a loop for the whole Thanksgiving weekend.  As long as he doesn't get her a poop diamond.

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RCharter

RCharter

I don't mind that I've never gotten a car/bow for Xmas. My parents trained me well what (not) to expect by never getting me a pony.

I'm sorry your parents didn't love you.  

 

But, acceptance is the first step.  Because you know if they loved you they would have gotten you a pony with a giant red bow on it, right?

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NinjaPenguins

NinjaPenguins

You know, Haleth, you could always record a bunch of ring ads, maybe even pull some off the 'net and create your own loop for the boyfriend. I will warn you that subjecting another human being to multiple diamond commercials in one sitting may be illegal in some states and could violate numerous human rights treaties.

More commercials I hate:

PC does what? It pisses me off, that's what.

The Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercial where everyone is acting completely demented and wearing bug-eyed, crazily grinning expressions. I thought I was having a bad acid trip until I remembered that I've never dropped acid in my life.

I don't know if it's for AT&T or Verizon, but the commercial where poor Uncle Pete has to babysit his nephews really roasts my radishes. As soon as the parents leave, the kids become a whirlwind of destruction, tearing shit up and beating Uncle Pete over the head. Grandma skypes in to laugh at Uncle Pete's misfortune as he attempts to cook food for the boys while they climb him like a piece of playground equipment. Finally, Uncle Pete sticks a couple of tablets or whatnot in their faces and finally gets a moment's peace. Stop trying to sell me stuff using children acting badly.

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RCharter

RCharter

Yep, pretty much every product that uses nasty ill-behaved children in their ads don't get a dime of my money.  Ever.

This reminds me of this SNL Skit about the "Disney Acting School"  You can skip ahead to second 47....but I think the entire skit is worth 3 minutes

 

 

 

 

One of the neighbors had a black eye, presumably because he willingly threw himself inot a mob a Walmart to save 50 bucks on a TV, so I don't feel bad about the neighbor being smug.

 

I just can't be one of those people on TV in the middle of some melee over a $50 20 inch computer screen monitor that I don't really need.  And I'm absolutely not going to sleep on a sidewalk to make it happen.  I'll sleep on a sidewalk if it means a date with Dwayne Johnson...but I have my pride.

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mmecorday

mmecorday

 

Yeah, I've never got a car for Christmas! *sniff*

Did you get a puppy when your father brought home a new car for himself? Because the car may have been originally intended for you. ;)

 

Because we were treated to Black Friday commercials all through November, I would not be a bit surprised if we see ads for after Christmas sales show up around Dec. 15.

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Cobalt Stargazer

Cobalt Stargazer

This reminds me of this SNL Skit about the "Disney Acting School"  You can skip ahead to second 47....but I think the entire skit is worth 3 minutes

 

 

I got as far as Tracy Morgan saying he was Raven-Symone, which will teach me to not click on videos when I'm supposed to be working.

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BabyVegas

BabyVegas

Oh, I forgot about one. I hate those stupid state farm discount double check ads. Particularly the ones with the refs and none of them knowing what just happened. 1. Why did you throw a flag, then? 2. You are getting paid to do a job, freaking do it. 3. Don't you have fifty squillion extremely HD cameras pointed at the game? Why not use your instant replay? Logically this one just doesn't hold up.

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riley702

riley702

This reminds me of this SNL Skit about the "Disney Acting School"  You can skip ahead to second 47....but I think the entire skit is worth 3 minutes

 

 

God, THIS! I work in a children's hospital and it's either poorly acted Disney shows or SpongeBob all fucking day long. While it does clue me in as to who these various young "celebrities" are and why they're "famous", it's beyond annoying to watch them "act" all day long.

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RCharter

RCharter

(edited)

God, THIS! I work in a children's hospital and it's either poorly acted Disney shows or SpongeBob all fucking day long. While it does clue me in as to who these various young "celebrities" are and why they're "famous", it's beyond annoying to watch them "act" all day long.

The worst part is that this is the sort of thing that encourages children to all act like precocious brats.  Its like every kid now auditioning for a Disney show 24 hours a day.  Its annoying.

Edited by RCharter
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NinjaPenguins

NinjaPenguins

I did not notice the neighbor in one of the Black Friday/GMC commercials had a shopping-induced black eye. Participating in a retail melee definitely earns you a smugging.

So I'm watching TV with my mother, and on comes an Always maxi pad commercial where emphasis is put on butt wiggling and the playful fondling of the caboose. Not once during my period have I ever wanted to shake and caress my moneymaker due to the joy of a really great maxi pad. My mother also reported a lack of bum swishing during her pre-menopause years.

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mojoween

mojoween

(edited)

I hate that Playtex ad where the girl was falling all over herself trying to skate and then bam! she puts on a pad and suddenly she's Tony Hawk.

I resent the implications that women can't function as humans when they are menstruating. A man HAD to have written that ad.

Edited by mojoween
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RCharter

RCharter

I hate that Playtex ad where the girl was falling all over herself trying to skate and then bam! she puts on a pad and suddenly she's Tony Hawk.

I resent the implications that women can't function as humans when they are menstruating. A man HAD to have written that ad.

look on the bright side, maybe they were just trying to say that playtex pads make you a great skateboarder!  ;)

I did not notice the neighbor in one of the Black Friday/GMC commercials had a shopping-induced black eye. Participating in a retail melee definitely earns you a smugging.

So I'm watching TV with my mother, and on comes an Always maxi pad commercial where emphasis is put on butt wiggling and the playful fondling of the caboose. Not once during my period have I ever wanted to shake and caress my moneymaker due to the joy of a really great maxi pad. My mother also reported a lack of bum swishing during her pre-menopause years.

I thought that was for depends?

RCharter

RCharter

I could have sworn it was Always. Does Always make a Depends-esque product? My mother often mutes the television during commercials, so I saw the word always, butt wiggling and fondling, and material absorbing blue fluid.

I feel like it could be Tena.  They do have something called the "Tena Twist"

I could have sworn it was Always. Does Always make a Depends-esque product? My mother often mutes the television during commercials, so I saw the word always, butt wiggling and fondling, and material absorbing blue fluid.

Nope, I was wrong and you were 100% correct.  In exciting adult diaper news, Always does now make an adult diaper that allows you to shake your groove thing!

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crowsworks

crowsworks

(edited)

At least Jared stopped using the one where a Husband proudly gives his wife a pretty necklace and she points to another woman and man and sneers "HE went to Jared!"

 

Hope hubby took off the necklace and returned it and gave her a Subway Samich instead.

Edited by crowsworks
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MaryPatShelby

MaryPatShelby

Oh, I forgot about one. I hate those stupid state farm discount double check ads. Particularly the ones with the refs and none of them knowing what just happened. 1. Why did you throw a flag, then? 2. You are getting paid to do a job, freaking do it. 3. Don't you have fifty squillion extremely HD cameras pointed at the game? Why not use your instant replay? Logically this one just doesn't hold up.

It may not be logical, but I love this one! Makes me laugh every time.

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DeLurker

DeLurker

So I'm watching TV with my mother, and on comes an Always maxi pad commercial where emphasis is put on butt wiggling and the playful fondling of the caboose. Not once during my period have I ever wanted to shake and caress my moneymaker due to the joy of a really great maxi pad. My mother also reported a lack of bum swishing during her pre-menopause years.

I am sure there is a medication to help you with this problem...it probably is hereditary since both you and Mum suffer from BSD (Bum Swishing Disorder).

 

And when I was at Kroger a few days ago, I passed a prominently placed product called Dude Wipes.  I am sad...very very sad.  I guess the men have been harboring resentment for all the lady parts products that clearly discriminate against them.

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RCharter

RCharter

I am sure there is a medication to help you with this problem...it probably is hereditary since both you and Mum suffer from BSD (Bum Swishing Disorder).

 

And when I was at Kroger a few days ago, I passed a prominently placed product called Dude Wipes.  I am sad...very very sad.  I guess the men have been harboring resentment for all the lady parts products that clearly discriminate against them.

Possible side effects include: blindess, heart attacks, suicidal thoughts and death.....be sure to see your doctor if any of these side effects occur

 

Are dude wipes for that embarrassing male itching around that time of the month?  

 

This reminds me of that King of the Hill episode when Dale says "Face it hank, women are gettin' stronger and men are growing more effeminate. In the future both men and women will visit the gynecologist.. but only women will be getting their money's worth"

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Muffyn

Muffyn

what's wrong with using normal wet wipes?

Normal wet wipes are a gateway wipe to using vagina wipes that are not used in the vagina and yet will make you yell, "Hail to the V!"  Then you're being a good father and spending time with your daughters.  Next thing you know, you have to de-feminize yourself by shouting during football games, eating pizza and drinking beer.

 

Dude wipes, for men who need to reconfirm their gender every time they wipe their ass or wash their junk.  

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