Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[RealityGal]

Sounds like a job for an Incontinence Specialist!

 

 

I love Alex but she is definitely loopy.  She's sort of an acquired taste.

Oh no, you gotta elevate that problem to the VP of Incontinence, or at the very least the Director of Incontinence!  Grandpa peeing on kitchen surfaces is beyond the pay grade of a mere specialist!  This is where incontinence careers are made or lost!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

What does an Incontinence Specialist get when they retire? A golden Depend?

[Muffyn]

What does an Incontinence Specialist get when they retire? A golden Depend?

A golden shower?  Or is that just what they call the retirement party?  

[Rick Kitchen]

ew ew ew ew

[Neurochick]

Match.com is garbage. Every guy on there is a clone who runs 5Ks on the beach with his dog when not parasailing in the Adirondacks. They are all "laid back" and "down to earth". Well, I'm pretty high-strung, and a lot of other people are, too. After I closed and deleted my account, Match kept emailing me that "someone" emailed me at x day at y time. How'd they do that, exactly, when my account is deleted? I don't play your reindeer games, Match.blargh.

EHarmony is also crap. I've had better success on the free sites, but it's all too exhausting overall. I'd rather eat gourmet cupcakes and watch horror with my cats. And post on the forums at Previously.tv.

 

I can't stand any of those online dating site commercials.  They imply that it's impossible to be happy being single and everybody needs to get married or something like that.  I wonder if they even realize that a lot of healthy, normal, attractive people really don't want a relationship, or to get married and really are happy single.

Edited November 19, 2014 by Neurochick

[Aquarius]

Oh no, you gotta elevate that problem to the VP of Incontinence, or at the very least the Director of Incontinence!  Grandpa peeing on kitchen surfaces is beyond the pay grade of a mere specialist!  This is where incontinence careers are made or lost!

 

You gotta figure the VP of Incontinence has got one hell of a golden parachute.

[Watcher0363]

I can't stand any of those online dating site commercials.  They imply that it's impossible to be happy being single and everybody needs to get married or something like that.  I wonder if they even realize that a lot of healthy, normal, attractive people really don't want a relationship, or to get married and really are happy single.

I said something like that to my sister once. She promptly informed me that I would die alone. I said in my head only, 'death would have to be a bitch like that.'

[LoneHaranguer]

 

I wonder if they even realize that a lot of healthy, normal, attractive people really don't want a relationship, or to get married and really are happy single.

They probably figure anyone who's happy how they are (whether single or not) will just ignore the ad. They're trying to fan the flames of discontent for those who aren't.

[Sandman87]

Clorox wipes ad where a woman comes home to her father getting a massage butt naked on her kitchen island. While the notion of grandpa's junk squashed onto her food preparation surface is bad enough, they then cut to a money shot of someone wiping up something up. Something that is just yellow enough to make you wonder if Gramps also stars in Depends ads....

 

Good to see that Grandpa is enjoying his "golden years."

[heebiejeebie]

Clorox wipes ad where a woman comes home to her father getting a massage butt naked on her kitchen island. While the notion of grandpa's junk squashed onto her food preparation surface is bad enough, they then cut to a money shot of someone wiping up something up. Something that is just yellow enough to make you wonder if Gramps also stars in Depends ads....

 

 

Well that or his cartoon bladder was hidden by the high countertop.  

[riley702]

They probably figure anyone who's happy how they are (whether single or not) will just ignore the ad. They're trying to fan the flames of discontent for those who aren't.

Nah, I think they're also trying to make happy singles discontent. Convince you that you want what they're selling. That's what ad people do.

[RealityGal]

Nah, I think they're also trying to make happy singles discontent. Convince you that you want what they're selling. That's what ad people do.

I do want what they are selling, but not with 95% of the men on any of those sites.

[RedZoneTuba]

A golden shower?  Or is that just what they call the retirement party?  

No, but urine the right ballpark.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

WAH WAH WAH.....

 

Or should that be WEE WEE WEE?

[HalcyonDays]

I also just hate the new trend of sullen tweens having their parents do everything possible to drag them from their sulk and usual attention to their phone/pad.    Drive them all over,  Take them to see magical flying reindeer that don't exist.  Here's a clue, instead of shopping at Kohls or buying some new model car, how about you take away the toys and the plans that support them if junior is a total asswipe?  Tell he he now has a few chores since he can't be bothered to be polite to his parent i.e. the one who pays the brat's bills.  If the little fucker can mope, he can mop.

 

heebiejeebie - you win all of the awards for sheer awesomeness. ALL the awards! This could be part of a hilarious comedy routine!

[Ubiquitous]

I just had a moderate to severe attack of peeing my pants! Guess I'd better call that company that will discreetly send me a case of Depends.

Three words: Super Beta Prostate

 

I don't understand and have come to loathe the Toyota ads with the young hipster lady who takes a ride in her new car and "wins" a storage locker and goes on a special snowflake roadtrip with a guitar.  How the fuckitty fuck does the car have anything to do with any of her decisions that any other brand of car couldn't do.

I find most, if not all, their "Drive somewhere" campaign ads annoying. The one with BB King makes zero sense, beginning with how he misplaced his unique (I assume) guitar named "Lucille" and never noticed its absence.

 

There's this one ad back in rotation with the father narrating about how their retarded or brainwashed son will only wash the family's Pious in the rain b/c he wants to conserve water or some such nonsense.

Edited November 21, 2014 by Ubiquitous

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

Speaking of incontinence :) whatever happened to the Tena twist incontinent ladies? Those ads used to be in heavy rotation on Judge Judy (makes me wonder about my taste in shows) but they've utterly disappeared

 

Were they cured--did they have "that" conversation with their doctor?

[CarpeDiem54]

Three words: Super Beta Prostate

Sorry, I'm a gal, so no prostate.

Speaking of incontinence :) whatever happened to the Tena twist incontinent ladies? Those ads used to be in heavy rotation on Judge Judy (makes me wonder about my taste in shows) but they've utterly disappeared

Were they cured--did they have "that" conversation with their doctor?

They must have taken their cartoon bladders to the doctor to get that medicine (can't remember the name) that will kill you or give you 300 worse ailments. I'd rather pee my pants.

Or maybe they got a transvaginal mesh operation so they can sue their doctors.

Edited November 21, 2014 by CarpeDiem54

[Duke2801]

I can't stand any of those online dating site commercials.  They imply that it's impossible to be happy being single and everybody needs to get married or something like that.  I wonder if they even realize that a lot of healthy, normal, attractive people really don't want a relationship, or to get married and really are happy single.

 

 

I get the gist of what you are saying. But, to be fair, isn't that what most companies selling a product aim to do with their ads?  The people at Clairol want to convince me that it's impossible to be happy if I have grey hair.  The people at Special K want to convince me that it's impossible to be truly happy if I'm not 110 pounds.  The people at .... you get the point.  It just so happens that Match.com's product is an online dating service. 

 

Do you have a recommendation of how they should be marketing this service in a less.... oh I don't know... "condescending" way?  Or are you implying that this service simply should not exist, period? 

[Ubiquitous]

Buzzfeed had something on Trivago Guy the other day. I'm not sure anything can be found there after an hour, but I know I saw it. Here it is.

Awww, I found him attractive! Well, until I saw some older pictures of him with hair down to his shoulders.

[RealityGal]

I get the gist of what you are saying. But, to be fair, isn't that what most companies selling a product aim to do with their ads?  The people at Clairol want to convince me that it's impossible to be happy if I have grey hair.  The people at Special K want to convince me that it's impossible to be truly happy if I'm not 110 pounds.  The people at .... you get the point.  It just so happens that Match.com's product is an online dating service. 

 

Do you have a recommendation of how they should be marketing this service in a less.... oh I don't know... "condescending" way?  Or are you implying that this service simply should not exist, period? 

 

I think its sort of a matter of grays.  Special K convinces me that life will be better at 110 pounds, and I can get there if I eat Special K.  Clairol wants to convince me that my life would be better without grey hair, and I can get there if I just use Lady Clairol.  

 

Dating site ads seem to be more along the line of convincing me that there is no way my life will be complete unless I get into a relationship, not just that life will be improved, but my current life is just the pits.  And then of course I think many singles (or at least this single) will tell you that the commercials are more than a little unrealistic, are we going to have a first date by candlelight while staring into each others eyes?  Is that a real first date as Match tries to convince me?  Now I just feel like an ass, because yes, I've had first dates like that, but 90% of the first dates I've had are about finding out all the crap no one bothered to tell you about online (oh, whats that, you live with your parents?  you don't really have a degree?  you aren't a graduate professor, but you deliver pizza?  you aren't sure exactly how many kids you have? you carry a loaded rifle in your car?).  But, I keep on, because the other 10% is good....

 

and thats what I think the less condescending message should be, with the wide open world of dating, everyone is probably gonna have to kiss a lot of frogs, but the frogs are worth it to find the good ones.  

[sarah82]

Speaking of hair dye commercials, there was an annoying commercial I just saw where the guy says that one of the things that I love about my girlfriend is that she always mixes it up, and then they show her with different hair colors. So you are saying that I need to constantly dye my hair in order to keep a man? It was so over the top ridiculous. I don't remember who it was for.

[Watcher0363]

Well I finally saw the Viagra commercial with the brunette. This prototypical female does not appeal to me as much as the blonde. The brunette looks like someone used plastic surgery to create this picture perfect middle aged woman. They gave her the forehead, eyes and nose of Cindy Crawford. With the lips and jaw line of Julia Roberts. Does not quite work for me but it does show they are researching what well maintain middle age women tend to look like. The pitch perfect tone of voice and speech pattern is still present, which is probably the greatest turn on for middle age men, so I guess this commercial will perform well for the American male. I just wonder if European males find the American brunette more sexy than the Brit Blonde. Looking forward to the Hispanic centered ad.

Edited November 22, 2014 by Watcher0363

[RealityGal]

Speaking of hair dye commercials, there was an annoying commercial I just saw where the guy says that one of the things that I love about my girlfriend is that she always mixes it up, and then they show her with different hair colors. So you are saying that I need to constantly dye my hair in order to keep a man? It was so over the top ridiculous. I don't remember who it was for.

Although, on the flip side of the "hair color to keep a mate" debate...because there is "no play for mr. gray!"

 

 

but I love how marketing directed at men is so very obvious.....before the Just for Men beard makeover she basically rejects them....after, she damn near has sex with him in the middle of the bar.  Does she know him, did someone put a roofie in her drink in the only 5 minutes he was in the bathroom brushing the just for men into his beard?

 

So basically, a woman who doesn't know you will have random sex with you if you would only use just for men on your beard!  Now you know men, now you know.  Women don't really want a sense of humor, rock hard abs, or intelligent conversation....what we really want is a guy with a non gray beard!  And I mean, we really, really want that....its a necessary and sufficient condition to having sex with us.

Edited November 22, 2014 by RealityGal

[Watcher0363]

Speaking of hair dye commercials, there was an annoying commercial I just saw where the guy says that one of the things that I love about my girlfriend is that she always mixes it up, and then they show her with different hair colors. So you are saying that I need to constantly dye my hair in order to keep a man? It was so over the top ridiculous. I don't remember who it was for.

Well they must be early in their relationship. Five years in, she could leave the house in the morning as a blonde and come home with fiery orange hair. And her boyfriend or husband may notice a week later after she asks about does her new hair match her shoes.

[heebiejeebie]

Speaking of hair dye commercials, there was an annoying commercial I just saw where the guy says that one of the things that I love about my girlfriend is that she always mixes it up, and then they show her with different hair colors. So you are saying that I need to constantly dye my hair in order to keep a man? It was so over the top ridiculous. I don't remember who it was for.

 

 

At least the new campaign is better than the prior one where a male model in his thirties pretends to be older because he has a touch of gray. He burbles about after all these years his precious little wife still looks just like she did.  Cut to wife tossing her lovely hair without a touch a gray.  Letting us all marvel at the miracle of his wife, who we can only guess he married when she is nine because she pretty much is in her early twenties.  Something they think we are too stupid to notice since they cast the slightly craggy hipster male model.

 

And speaking of male models.  The I Can't Believe it's Not Butter ad.  ugh.  Throw a hipster beard on an underwear model, slather on the innuendo and creepy lingering tight shots of his eyes and mouth and it comes off more like an ad honoring Charles Manson's marriage than it does a sexy push to spread congealed oil on my muffin.  When he says "I'm here all day" I think "because of that ankle bracelet monitor keeping you there".

Edited November 22, 2014 by heebiejeebie

[Brattinella]

Oh my, the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" Guy makes my heart go all aflutter!

[ethalfrida]

I can't stand the Honeybaked Ham commercial. The guy at the end says "It's better than the ham your momma made." It just annoys me because 1) the tastiness of the Honeybaked ham has dIminished in recent years, and 2) he's a traiterous arse to all Black cooks in America. He's let down the legacy. And he draws it out as if he's saying the dopest thing ever. 

Edited November 23, 2014 by ethalfrida

[bilgistic]

RealityGal, the freeze frame on that Just for Men ad has "Penetrates" written across the guy's cheek. It's just perfect. Because dying your beard will get you penetration, fellahs.

[BrokenRemote]

You guys read the story behind the creepy Trivago guy, right? Apparently he plays an American rock star on a German soap opera. He's supposedly considered super sexy in Germany, and the people that run Trivago (can't remember if they're German or from a nearby country) sought him out. They were really surprised that American audiences didn't swoon over him.

So once they realized, they took advantage of a bad situation and had a contest to make him over. I read an interview with the actor, who said he thought he was just fine but who wouldn't love a free makeover? That he seemed so laid-back and cool about it made me like him.

They just recently announced the makeover contest winner, so I'm guessing we'll see ads with the new and improved Trivago guy soon.

I have to admit, the way that the company handled the negative reaction, kind of made it into a joke on themselves we were all in on, has made the company seem far more attractive to me.

[Jamoche]

There's an ad in frequent rotation for LoanMe - an unsecured loan service, which apparently differs from the payday loans John Oliver ranted about only by not having "payday" involved - with a woman who says "I'll have lots of money from the commission when I make this sale but in the meantime can you loan me some cash?" in the exact same tone of voice of the deadbeat co-worker who - oops! - forgot to stop by the bank, so could you cover their lunch again? They'll pay you back next time, promise!

 

I don't know, maybe they're trying to negate the John Oliver rant by presenting their customers as scammy deadbeats instead of people too desperate and uninformed to notice the 200% APR. I just want her to shut up.

[RealityGal]

RealityGal, the freeze frame on that Just for Men ad has "Penetrates" written across the guy's cheek. It's just perfect. Because dying your beard will get you penetration, fellahs.

isn't it though?  Isn't it just perfection.....especially because they use the word as the man is combing it in, its such a direct tie, like "men, you want some penetration, here is the product that will get you there, and in case you forget we will also put the word penetrate on the screen....with an arrow.....so you dont' forget"

[Cobalt Stargazer]

If penetration is what these guys are looking to do, maybe they should ask the Giant Headed Viagra Lady for some of those magic blue pills. Because it's not the gray in their beards that's preventing that, more than likely.

[Moose135]

So basically, a woman who doesn't know you will have random sex with you if you would only use just for men on your beard!  Now you know men, now you know.

 

Adds Just for Men to the grocery list...

[Muffyn]

but I love how marketing directed at men is so very obvious.....before the Just for Men beard makeover she basically rejects them....after, she damn near has sex with him in the middle of the bar.  Does she know him, did someone put a roofie in her drink in the only 5 minutes he was in the bathroom brushing the just for men into his beard?

Maybe the fumes from the hair dye charge up a woman's libido until she has no control.  If he just dyed his beard, it would reek of chemicals.  

[RealityGal]

Maybe the fumes from the hair dye charge up a woman's libido until she has no control.  If he just dyed his beard, it would reek of chemicals.  

well, I could see that, I'm getting hot and bothered just thinking about it.  I'm surprised she was the only hussy throwing herself at him.

[Muffyn]

well, I could see that, I'm getting hot and bothered just thinking about it.  I'm surprised she was the only hussy throwing herself at him.

Sometimes I go to the drug store and surreptitiously puncture packages of Just For Men.  I get so hot and bothered from smelling the fumes, I attempt to mount random strangers.  I've now been banned for life from the hair dye aisle.   

[CarpeDiem54]

I just saw the Honda Stretch Armstrong ad. Why is he sniffing his arrmpits at the end?

[RealityGal]

Sometimes I go to the drug store and surreptitiously puncture packages of Just For Men.  I get so hot and bothered from smelling the fumes, I attempt to mount random strangers.  I've now been banned for life from the hair dye aisle.   

Oh please, the men walking around the Just for Men aisle of the store are clearly asking for it, sales have probably dropped since your departure

[heebiejeebie]

Oh my, the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" Guy makes my heart go all aflutter!

 

His name is Thomas Beaudoin.  Google-image yourself out.

[OriginalCyn]

 

Dating site ads seem to be more along the line of convincing me that there is no way my life will be complete unless I get into a relationship, not just that life will be improved, but my current life is just the pits.  And then of course I think many singles (or at least this single) will tell you that the commercials are more than a little unrealistic, are we going to have a first date by candlelight while staring into each others eyes?  Is that a real first date as Match tries to convince me?  Now I just feel like an ass, because yes, I've had first dates like that, but 90% of the first dates I've had are about finding out all the crap no one bothered to tell you about online (oh, whats that, you live with your parents?  you don't really have a degree?  you aren't a graduate professor, but you deliver pizza?  you aren't sure exactly how many kids you have? you carry a loaded rifle in your car?).  But, I keep on, because the other 10% is good....

 

and thats what I think the less condescending message should be, with the wide open world of dating, everyone is probably gonna have to kiss a lot of frogs, but the frogs are worth it to find the good ones.  

 

Most dating site commercials have me mowing down small children in order to grab the remote, but the ad currently in rotation for Zoosk is one that, for once, doesn't reek of condemnation, desperation, or sexy-time...

 

 

I like it because it doesn't take itself too seriously, it doesn't put an obnoxious emphasis on finding "THE ONE," and has kind of a cute/sweet tone to it.  Also, the piano music it's set to fits perfectly with the theme and tone of what they're trying to promote.

 

Then again, anything is better than the Crypt-Keeper-Pedo-Granpa from eHarmony and his demon spawn.  ::shudder::.

[janie jones]

I can't find it online, but there's this really ridiculous Eggo commercial where there is a mom, a teen girl, a dad, and a tween boy fighting over the Eggo in the toaster.  The mom and sister are being really snotty toward each other, and the dad and son are texting each other.  Everyone wants the person they are opposing to leggo their Eggo.  And then the toaster pops and the kid sister appears out of nowhere and grabs the waffle and takes a big bite, to everyone's chagrin.  She does not burn her hand or mouth, so I suspect the toaster isn't working properly.

 

But the thing that annoys me is: Why is this even an argument?  How do four goddamn people think this is their Eggo?  Doesn't the waffle belong to whoever decided they were going to fix an Eggo then got one and put it in the toaster?  The toaster has two slots, so they could toast two at a time if they're all that desperate for an Eggo.  I don't remember the "leggo my Eggo" commercials being this stupid back in the day.  I feel like people realized they were stealing someone else's Eggo, but maybe I'm remembering wrong.

Edited November 23, 2014 by janie jones

[Maverick]

I just saw the Honda Stretch Armstrong ad. Why is he sniffing his arrmpits at the end?

 

 Stretch Armstrong's a freak, yo!  Who wouldn't be if you could stretch all your appendages like that.

[BubblingKettle]

I saw the Viagra commercial yesterday, and all I could notice was the brand name/logo's placement...it covered her feet.  I think it even moved in order to keep her feet hidden.  So, I wondered if her feet had picked up dirt on the soundstage or if she has really hideous feet.  I clearly have issues with my attention span.  At least being distracted by her feet kept me from focusing on what she was talking about.

[Brattinella]

Thank you, heebiejeebie!  I like the long-haired version.

[Pine]

I don't care to hear Marie Osmond talk about being 50 pounds over weight, and it being the worst day of her life.  She has had worse days.  With a personal chef, personal trainer etc... losing 50 pounds for her is pretty easy.

Most annoying ad ever.

[RealityGal]

I saw the Viagra commercial yesterday, and all I could notice was the brand name/logo's placement...it covered her feet.  I think it even moved in order to keep her feet hidden.  So, I wondered if her feet had picked up dirt on the soundstage or if she has really hideous feet.  I clearly have issues with my attention span.  At least being distracted by her feet kept me from focusing on what she was talking about.

She was talking about pee pees!  Old man pee pee's!  Old men having sex with their pee pee's that are erect for 4 hours!

[ari333]

I hate the drambuie commercial with the blonde at the drums. Hate. I just do not get it.

[Ubiquitous]

Front the "ungrateful brats raised in barns" department, there's this cereal ad in which a couple's teenage son grabs a box of granola for breakfast and starts to empty the contents into his mouth. When the father reacts by sarcastically asking of he wants milk with that, the son then grabs the bottle and starts chugging from it, but no worries! The mother tells us he's eating organic granola!

 

Exsqueeze me, bitch?

[riley702]

His name is Thomas Beaudoin.  Google-image yourself out.

OMG! The "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" guy is Christian Grey?!? *fans herself* And I haven't even made it to books 2 and 3 yet.