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Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage


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Key rules:  Stay on topic; go to Small Talk with things not about commercials; be civil; no politics. 

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But the part that irks me the most is that last line: "But only if you have a brain"  How condescending!  If I had a brain, I would toss out any resumes for people with a degree from UoP.  I'm more interested to meet the people who showed up in person for classes at a local university who also had kids and a full time job.  Any fool can play on the internet all night.

 

 

Now I hate that "University" of Phoenix commercial, but I don't get the above comment.  One of the reasons college costs are SO high is because of all the amenities on campuses today.  I once saw a program where they showed a college that was mainly online (a real college, not a diploma mill) and it was affordable.  College should NOT be as expensive as they are today.

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Here. I've improved the lyrics to the University of Phoenix jingle. It makes much more sense now:

 

I’ve got a unicorn named Charlie
My beer contains some barley
And I’ve also got a brain
Swept the stairs with a Swiffer
With the hubs I never differ
Don’t you want that kind of brain?

I’m hungover every mornin’
Go online to take some porn in
Still don’t think I’ve got a brain?
I make pasta, no cheap ramen
Wear a dress I went to prom in
I most def have a brain

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Now I hate that "University" of Phoenix commercial, but I don't get the above comment.  One of the reasons college costs are SO high is because of all the amenities on campuses today.  I once saw a program where they showed a college that was mainly online (a real college, not a diploma mill) and it was affordable.  College should NOT be as expensive as they are today.

And some people do the online thing because they don't live near enough to a physical campus to make it possible to commute there while still working and having a family.  There are legitimate, good colleges who offer online degrees.  University of Phoenix isn't one, but that doesn't make the entire idea of online education worthless.

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The real scary thing about that commercial is. That someone else's Siri responded to Lily with knowledge, about her, that should have been private. So I guess I could ask my Siri personal questions about other Siri owners, and it would spill its guts like a regurgitating mothering penguin.

Not unless you can ask using that other person's voice. But, how does the guy's phone know Lily's voice? Is AT&T secretly putting some of their own voice-prints into the phones they sell?

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I didn't think that was Lily, so I did a search of the bra picture and I didn't turn up much (which was my first confirmation that it's not the same person) other than it appearing on some "non-celebrity sexy selfie" website, and this other forum where people are having basically the same conversation, complete with the same picture that St. Claire just linked to.  From what I skimmed, the general consensus there seems to be that that blue-eyed woman is not Lily, but that both are pretty, and also that Toyota Jan sucks.

Edited by janie jones
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The real scary thing about that commercial is. That someone else's Siri responded to Lily with knowledge, about her, that should have been private. So I guess I could ask my Siri personal questions about other Siri owners, and it would spill its guts like a regurgitating mothering penguin. No wonder the icloud was so easily hacked. Hey Siri has Jennifer Lawerence uploaded any pictures lately? Hey Siri!! What is Jennifer Lawrence new icloud password? Thanks Siri!! Your the best ever.   

 

That guy clearly is not an FBI agent.

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My husband and I got new cell phones yesterday and decided to change from Android to iPhone (I know, I feel like we've gone to the Dark Side), and when the agent was setting them up for us, there was an extra security step that wasn't there the day before (involved going on their web site), and my comment was - damn FBI!

Edited by chessiegal
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I didn't think that was Lily, so I did a search of the bra picture and I didn't turn up much (which was my first confirmation that it's not the same person) other than it appearing on some "non-celebrity sexy selfie" website, and this other forum where people are having basically the same conversation, complete with the same picture that St. Claire just linked to.  From what I skimmed, the general consensus there seems to be that that blue-eyed woman is not Lily, but that both are pretty, and also that Toyota Jan sucks.

I remember a time when people didn't do their makeup to simply take a picture in front of the mirror in their house.  Full makeup and lashes used to be for going out!

My husband and I got new cell phones yesterday and decided to change from Android to iPhone (I know, I feel like we've gone to the Dark Side), and when the agent was setting them up for us, there was an extra security step that wasn't there the day before (involved going on their web site), and my comment was - damn FBI!

I predict the iPhones will be the first to turn against their masters when the robots begin their takeover.  As it is I'm already convinced my Android is smarter than me, and its not as smart as an iPhone.  I'm certain my Android is plotting against me as I type this.

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Let us face it. All these cellphone assistants are just the collective conscious of the Borg masquerading. So as to learn all of our secrets, to make assimilation of us all easier. Having said that, boy are they useful.

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I have no idea what the "Pull that peach!!!" broad looks like, but I could hear her all the way in the kitchen when that ad came on and she scared my dog.

I hope your dog didn't see her, or poor puppy - they'll need therapy.

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I dislike most commercials that span a few generations of a particular family. They seem to show every fashion stereotype of each decade, especially anything from the 80s and earlier, and it seems like the only way they know how to age a guy by 15-20 years is to give him a mustache.

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I've come to feel the same way about the term "love tap" that I feel about "panties" and some people feel about "moist."

When she was 2, my granddaughter told me LOUDLY that she did not wear panties, she wore UNDERWEAR.  I guess she developed that aversion early!

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Maybe State Farm keeps their insurance rates lower by not spending tons on advertising? I'm just guessing. 

I've always assumed this was the case; every third commercial on television is from Geico (and another third are that damn Elizabeth Banks Old Navy commercial!), so they must be spending billions on advertising.

 

After seeing one where he obsessively talks about his wife's hair that is always under a bonnet and another where he talks about his kids getting to lick the "family lolly", I'm pretty sure he is a crackpot religious cult leader who probably abuses his wife and kids.

Aw, I crack up when he talks about the Mrs. encountering a grizzly and turning it into his snow boots. Clearly dude appreciates the finer qualities in a spouse!

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I’m a little bothered by the new Dodge commercial. “The world needs villains and villains need cars.” I realize it’s a Batman film tie-in, but I question the wisdom of marketing to thugs. If you really want to market to criminals, make a car that’s bullet proof.  And make it stealth, so that it can’t be tracked.
Dodge: Your SRTs are selling like hotcakes, to good people who can afford them and probably won’t commit any felonies for the duration of their ownership. Are they not enough, you need to market to villains?

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Also, the world doesn't need villains, Batman needs villains. Heroes whose whole raison d'etre isn't striking fear into the hearts of criminals seem to do just fine saving people from burning buildings, accidents, etc.

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I dislike most commercials that span a few generations of a particular family. They seem to show every fashion stereotype of each decade, especially anything from the 80s and earlier, and it seems like the only way they know how to age a guy by 15-20 years is to give him a mustache.

And Grandma has a bun and a lace collar on a black dress.

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I hate the Trident ad with the guy in court whose cell phone starts to ring. The expression on his face looks like he's trying to hold in a fart. Turn off your damn phone, moron! I'm pretty sure those were instructions before starting. I keep wishing the judge would come down and smack him with the gavel.

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I’m a little bothered by the new Dodge commercial. “The world needs villains and villains need cars.” I realize it’s a Batman film tie-in, but I question the wisdom of marketing to thugs. If you really want to market to criminals, make a car that’s bullet proof.  And make it stealth, so that it can’t be tracked.

Dodge: Your SRTs are selling like hotcakes, to good people who can afford them and probably won’t commit any felonies for the duration of their ownership. Are they not enough, you need to market to villains?

There was also that series of Prius? commercials earlier this year with the bank robbers? evading police in their stolen car.  Clearly I wasn't paying enough attention to note the make of car or storyline, but saw enough to wonder why they were glorifying criminals.

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I hate the Trident ad with the guy in court whose cell phone starts to ring. The expression on his face looks like he's trying to hold in a fart. Turn off your damn phone, moron! I'm pretty sure those were instructions before starting. I keep wishing the judge would come down and smack him with the gavel.

I've never seen one of my judges find someone in contempt of court over their cellphone ringing, but a couple of them have gotten mighty testy about it.  So yeah, I hate that commercial.

There was also that series of Prius? commercials earlier this year with the bank robbers? evading police in their stolen car.  Clearly I wasn't paying enough attention to note the make of car or storyline, but saw enough to wonder why they were glorifying criminals.

I have so many problems with those commercials, one of them being that the cops around here drive vehicles which could catch a Prius without even trying.  Or so I thought, until this morning when I saw a Honda hatchback getting pulled over for speeding by a state trooper in an unmarked car which looked suspiciously like a Chevy Cavalier.  Probably was a Cruze (that car which replaced the car that replaced the Cavalier) but still, a Prius probably could outrun it.

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I've never seen one of my judges find someone in contempt of court over their cellphone ringing, but a couple of them have gotten mighty testy about it.  So yeah, I hate that commercial.

I have so many problems with those commercials, one of them being that the cops around here drive vehicles which could catch a Prius without even trying.  Or so I thought, until this morning when I saw a Honda hatchback getting pulled over for speeding by a state trooper in an unmarked car which looked suspiciously like a Chevy Cavalier.  Probably was a Cruze (that car which replaced the car that replaced the Cavalier) but still, a Prius probably could outrun it.

Maybe that was his personal vehicle, and he was off-duy or on his way to work?

If it was a Chevy, it might have been a Caprice. The cars manufactured for police have 8-cylinder engines.

My advice, if a little police car is chasing you, don’t be fooled into thinking it’s wimpy.

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As Elwood Blues said about his big old Dodge: "It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas."

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That puppy, baby, monkey thing just freaked me out .... and not in the good way. EEEWWWW..omg....

The ad talks about combining three good things, but if that's what they got combining those three, why should we even consider whatever product it is they're selling? The creatures in The Island of Dr. Moreau were less creepy.

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The ad talks about combining three good things, but if that's what they got combining those three, why should we even consider whatever product it is they're selling? The creatures in The Island of Dr. Moreau were less creepy.

 

THIS ^^^^

puppy baby monkey...... I just cant

How about strawberries, chocolate, whipped cream....  just throwin it out there.

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Maybe that was his personal vehicle, and he was off-duy or on his way to work?

If it was a Chevy, it might have been a Caprice. The cars manufactured for police have 8-cylinder engines.

My advice, if a little police car is chasing you, don’t be fooled into thinking it’s wimpy.

And...IIRC, they also use a lot more aluminum to produce cop cars so that they are lighter and faster than the average vehicle with metal sheeting.

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Two commercial hates at the moment:

 

1. Expedia "Zoo"

The main commercial that is driving me irrationally crazy with hate at the moment is the deceptively sweet Expedia one about the little girl in the tiger outfit.

 

Not only is she apparently wearing this very hot zip-up full furry tiger costume for two or three days straight (on the plane, in the car, at the hotel, at the zoo), the commercial ends on an attempted "poignant" moment when she confronts a full-grown tiger through the glass. I mean, I can't. The fact that the little girl is full-on dressed in a furry costume nonstop just makes it too weird for me, and ending with the confrontation isn't sweet to me, it's just creepy, because that big gorgeous tiger is looking at the little girl and thinking, "Lunch!" So the whole "childlike awestruck wonder" thing just isn't working for me there.

 

And also, I am of course pure evil. But I can't help it. It bothers me EVERY SINGLE TIME.

 

 

2. The second commercial series I hate is still anything by Comcast, which bless their hearts, still manages to communicate a basic misunderstanding of what cable customers want. The "Moving" commercial where Comcast does not actually help the guy move in any way is just idiotic, and couple that with the new commercial, in which Comcast is so freaking proud of their new voice-activated TV remotes. Which are just a total fail to me. Barring their definite usefulness for those who are disabled or elderly, are we really all so lazy that we would speak the words, "show me funny movies" into the remote rather than doing a 10-second search? How is saying "record this" any different from, you know, pressing RECORD?! AGHGHHGHG.

 

Thank you.....that makes me feel a little better.  I vaguely remember Schwartzman being in stuff, but I can't remember what.

 

Schwartzman can be really good when he's cast well. I don't think he's got a ton of range, but he was absolutely wonderful in "Rushmore," his big break, and did a nice job in "Marie Antoinette," "Saving Mr. Banks," and "Mozart in the Jungle."  However, I admit that I loathed him in "Shopgirl" to the point of unwatchability, where, yes, I badly wanted him to take a shower.

 

If we're talking about the same commercial, those bank robbers were Frank, Nick, and Ziggy Sabotka (Sobotka?) from season 2 of The Wire.  I don't care if it's dumb; I love it!

I love those Prius commercials, and as a "Wire" fan, I admit it, I totally squealed when I realized they were a sly "Wire" shoutout. Sobotkas forever! Man, I loved Season 2.

 

As someone who is about Oprah's size and who has lost 24 pounds on WW, it doesn't look like much. My clothes are looser and I've gone down a size or so in some brands, but it's not that dramatic for someone with a fair amount still left to lose. Whether she's ultimately successful or not will impact the effectiveness of the marketing campaign (see I'm on topic!), but as someone who has struggled with weight my entire life, I relate to Oprah's experience more than someone like Jessica Simpson who was fat for a few months with post-pregnancy weight. YMMV.

 

I thought this was nicely said. I've battled weight issues throughout adulthood as well, and have a lot of sympathy for Oprah -- I think it's very telling that this rich, powerful woman still cannot keep those pounds off. However, the commercials do irk me to a degree -- it's all about moderation. Oprah could already eat bread any day of the week, darn it -- she just needed to moderate.

 

Honestly, I loved this piece because it basically says, like, "Oprah, just give yourself a break. Stop with the scale and just try to be healthy." After all, she may never ever be bone-skinny -- and maybe Oprah won't ever admit it, even if genetics and metabolism keep her from that. But she can be fit and healthy and a manageable size, as long as she's active, manages sugar and cholesterol, and keeps trying to eat as healthily as possible. 

 

I had no idea who she is.  A few days ago I almost asked if she was anyone famous because it seemed I should recognize her.  The commercial is really annoying but I wouldn't buy cheap Old Navy stuff anyway.

 

I really like Elizabeth Banks -- I think she's a seriously versatile actress who is both beautiful and funny, and who can also play pretty much anything anyone needs her to do. In addition to "30 Rock" and her many character roles, she gave Effie Trinket a lot of heart and humor in "The Hunger Games" series, and also did a beautiful dramatic turn in "The Next Three Days," as well. I don't think she'll ever be a star, but I think she'll always be able to work, and that's kind of cool.

 

Me, too. As ridiculous and ludicrous as those commercials were, the look of glee on Mayhem's face always made me laugh.

 

I love Mayhem. Great commercials, and I loved that Dean Winters got such a great platform (especially after he almost died in 2009 and ended up having something like 16 surgeries to recover) -- he's another one who can do both comedy and drama equally well (loved him on "Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles"). Also, I thought he was really hot with the longer hair as Mayhem too, complete with wicked grin.

 

Guys... a cold is a pain and can hang on and has no  relation  that I know of to certain strains of pneumonia. Pneumonia can land you in the hospital and even kill you.  If I can get the vaccine I'm getting it.  When Im old enough for the shingles vaccine Im getting that too. I do understand your feeling and hesitation. I wish my mom had gotten the shingles vaccine. and I wish my dad had had the one for pneumonia.

 

Thank you for this. I'm a huge proponent of vaccines, which have saved the lives of billions. I used to work in a hospital, and the number of people (young and old) who die from pneumonia all the time would shock most people. It was one of the most common causes of death crossing all age barriers that I witnessed, by far.

 

OH DEAR GOD !! (Frasier voice)

 

Ari333, every time you quote that, I actually hear Frasier say it, and it's even funnier every time. Never stop. One of my favorite TV character moments ever. 

Edited by paramitch
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I hate that brain song so much.. "So my kids don't have to...." CLICK --- I CLICK!!!!!  Stabby!

 

I use so many Frasier quotes (and Seinfeld) in real life.  I cant resist doing it here.  Not that there's anything wrong with that. :-)

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Maybe that was his personal vehicle, and he was off-duy or on his way to work?

If it was a Chevy, it might have been a Caprice. The cars manufactured for police have 8-cylinder engines.

My advice, if a little police car is chasing you, don’t be fooled into thinking it’s wimpy.

Nope, it had the official lights in the back window and red and blue flashers right by the head/tail lights; it was definitely an official unmarked police car.  I didn't think about the 8-cylinder engine thing, though.  I have learned that any old pos car could be a cop.  AIEEEEE!!

I really hate that that brain song has replaced a lovely song in ALL our childhood memories with a fake outlook (instead of a Scarecrow who thinks he is stupid).

Eh, I hate the Wizard of Oz and all the songs therein, so it doesn't bother me one way or the other.

Edited by proserpina65
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Not only is she apparently wearing this very hot zip-up full furry tiger costume for two or three days straight (on the plane, in the car, at the hotel, at the zoo)

 

This bugs me to no end.  What the heck must that kid smell like?

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Nope, it had the official lights in the back window and red and blue flashers right by the head/tail lights; it was definitely an official unmarked police car.

Every few years the local city newspaper runs an article advising drivers never to stop for anything other than a properly marked police vehicle, and if pursued by something other than that, to head for the nearest police or fire station. The official position is that no reputable police dept uses unmarked cars for routine traffic stops (for a list of good reasons), so drivers shouldn't risk getting assaulted and robbed by an imposter.

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Every few years the local city newspaper runs an article advising drivers never to stop for anything other than a properly marked police vehicle, and if pursued by something other than that, to head for the nearest police or fire station. The official position is that no reputable police dept uses unmarked cars for routine traffic stops (for a list of good reasons), so drivers shouldn't risk getting assaulted and robbed by an imposter.

Wow.  Around here, all the departments, from the State Police on down, use unmarked cars for traffic stops.  Particularly on I-95.  All kinds, too.  SUVs, pickup trucks, little pos Chevys, you name it.  Because if drivers can tell that it's a cop car, they all slow down.

 

Except the MD Transportation Authority - they really want you to see their authority from a mile away.

 

But I digress.  Back on topic, I don't mind the Prius commercials so much, although I can see why others might object to them.  They would have a totally different vibe if it weren't a group of middle-class white guys, that's for sure.

Edited by proserpina65
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OH DEAR GOD !! (Frasier voice)

 

That puppy, baby, monkey thing just freaked me out .... and not in the good way. EEEWWWW..omg....

Thumbs-upped for Frasier reference. My BF does that too!

 

Not only is she apparently wearing this very hot zip-up full furry tiger costume for two or three days straight (on the plane, in the car, at the hotel, at the zoo)

 

That is one dedicated dad--you know that kid had to pee a few times, and airplane bathrooms are no place for completely disrobing your kid! I did laugh the first time when the little girl "rawr"ed at what I assume is a complete stranger. 

 

Every few years the local city newspaper runs an article advising drivers never to stop for anything other than a properly marked police vehicle, and if pursued by something other than that, to head for the nearest police or fire station. The official position is that no reputable police dept uses unmarked cars for routine traffic stops (for a list of good reasons), so drivers shouldn't risk getting assaulted and robbed by an imposter.

 

People, man. I mean, who in the holy hell has the time--not to mention the brazen balls--to do this ruse? Haha, it would be funny if the thug doing it did it to a real off-duty cop!

Edited by TattleTeeny
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In my mind, Toyota Jan is Lily's mom.

 

If that was the case, and I lived close to them, I would make up opportunities to bring them things I baked and stuff from the garden.  Just...cause.

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People, man. I mean, who in the holy hell has the time--not to mention the brazen balls--to do this ruse? Haha, it would be funny if the thug doing it did it to a real off-duty cop!

That just happened in August in Ohio. And last month, a fake cop in Florida had the bad luck to pass by a real cop who thought he'd help with the traffic stop until he noticed that the fake patrol car looked wrong.

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People, man. I mean, who in the holy hell has the time--not to mention the brazen balls--to do this ruse? Haha, it would be funny if the thug doing it did it to a real off-duty cop!

We have police impersonators around here all the time - one at least every couple of months. When in doubt, we're supposed to call 911 to verify an officer is actually who he says he is, or head to the nearest police or fire station. Some of these characters have committed terrible crimes like rape or robbery. One recent asshat was stopping women, "arresting" them, taking them and after raping them, abandoning them naked out in the middle of nowhere.

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Mankind's epithet after the robot uprising. :-)

LMAO!  

 

People, man. I mean, who in the holy hell has the time--not to mention the brazen balls--to do this ruse? Haha, it would be funny if the thug doing it did it to a real off-duty cop!

I think this used to be a pretty big thing.  There was some serial rapist/murderer that got a siren and was pulling women over.  It does feel like something from the late 70's, early 80's so I'm surprised its still a thing.  It sounds absolutely terrifying.

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I think DMX got in trouble for impersonating a cop!

 

In the early '80s, there was a guy around here (North Jersey) who committed at least two murders of young women, one he abducted from a small local shopping center (which became known as "Murder Mall" later) and one that he may have signaled to pull over on the road. I can't recall if, in either scenario, he maybe posed as a cop; I was 7 at the time, I think (and that actually may have started my interest in true crime). There's not a whole lot of info on this dude--I've been looking for years for more. 

 

http://murderpedia.org/male.K/k/koedatich-james.htm

 

I've always been interested because, OMG, before the guy was was caught, my dad--who had a similar build and appearance--drove a similar car. He was pulled over late one night and basically brutalized by cops. He never pursued any actions against them; back then was not like now with dash cams and cell-phone videos. My grandpa, a recently retired cop at that time, told my dad to just drop it and move on, that nothing good would come from reporting the incident. My dad shaved off his mustache after and sold that car. To this day, my dad subtly bristles a bit at cops and he never wants to talk about this story, damn it (I don't want to traumatize the man, but like I said, I am into true crime!).

 

In other news, I would really like one of those lights you attach with a magnet. I wouldn't bother anyone--I'd just get home from work a lot faster, haha!

Edited by TattleTeeny
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That girl with the tiger costume drives me nuts. The whole "We have to let the special snowflake wear the costume because she wuvs them so much" thing and then spending God only knows how much money to go to a zoo. And I'm going to hell for wanting the tiger to roar at her.

Anybody else truly annoyed about these guys hanging out in the middle of the supermarket with a campfire going? I love the lady shopper's face:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6USNGO4wwoc

I love those. They make me laugh.

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That girl with the tiger costume drives me nuts. The whole "We have to let the special snowflake wear the costume because she wuvs them so much" thing and then spending God only knows how much money to go to a zoo. And I'm going to hell for wanting the tiger to roar at her.

I love those. They make me laugh.

Be careful mixing small children and costumes - you may end up with this situation: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/10/menace.html

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That girl with the tiger costume drives me nuts. The whole "We have to let the special snowflake wear the costume because she wuvs them so much" thing and then spending God only knows how much money to go to a zoo. And I'm going to hell for wanting the tiger to roar at her.

I love those. They make me laugh.

 

ANY "Special Snowflake" stuff is TOO MUCH!  Stop it, helicopter parents!

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