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S02.E06: Who's The Boss?


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David draws a line after Taylor asks him to quit his church and become a Baptist; a monthly religious tradition prevents Ben and Vicki from touching, which causes temptation and frustration; and Maneka and Mayur learn the results of her pregnancy test.

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(edited)

I was looking forward to Arranged tonight. Arranged is a repeat from two weeks ago as @ExplainItAgain said.

What is going ON?! Feels like the Twilight zone.

 The new episode of Arranged isn't on Dish On Demand either, so don't bother searching. PHOOEY

Edited by ChiCricket
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So I went to search on why it wasn't new but didn't really come up with anything but saw a couple people try to say it had to do with the Orlando shooting and that Mankea tweeted that out something like that as well. Now in that search there was this which again is about her and that grease ball she married. http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2016/06/14/arranged-tells-story-modern-day-arranged-marriages.html  It came off as more BS to me. They seem to say one thing and then its another. Still not seeing how its an arranged married no matter how they both try to spin this. They dated a few times before he even met her family and yet supposedly had to meet her family to get approval to keep dating or some other BS like that. The more these 2 keep talking the more I find anything they say to be believable. Why is it stories on them and not the other ones? I much rather see ones on the Vicki and Ben instead if they are going to put ones out there. Sadly, I wouldn't be surprised if Mankea and Mayur are trying to get something else in the works and are pushing their fake arranged crap on whoever they can to get their names all over. 

 

If there was another place for this sorry. Just wasn't sure where to put it and since there was no episode this week figured it was a good place. 

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5 hours ago, Evil Queen said:

So I went to search on why it wasn't new but didn't really come up with anything but saw a couple people try to say it had to do with the Orlando shooting and that Mankea tweeted that out something like that as well. Now in that search there was this which again is about her and that grease ball she married. http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2016/06/14/arranged-tells-story-modern-day-arranged-marriages.html  It came off as more BS to me. They seem to say one thing and then its another. Still not seeing how its an arranged married no matter how they both try to spin this. They dated a few times before he even met her family and yet supposedly had to meet her family to get approval to keep dating or some other BS like that. The more these 2 keep talking the more I find anything they say to be believable. Why is it stories on them and not the other ones? I much rather see ones on the Vicki and Ben instead if they are going to put ones out there. Sadly, I wouldn't be surprised if Mankea and Mayur are trying to get something else in the works and are pushing their fake arranged crap on whoever they can to get their names all over. 

 

If there was another place for this sorry. Just wasn't sure where to put it and since there was no episode this week figured it was a good place. 

Thanks for sharing that article. I'm sorry, but after reading it I have to call BS on Maneka and Mayur claiming they were arranged.  They had been dating after meeting via independent circumstances, for heaven's sake!  And then she blindsided him into meeting her entire family so she could pressure him into marrying her.  How bogus is that?!  Once he learned they could go on a TV show and sell it as an arranged marriage, he was all over it because it meant he could promote his business.  They are both pathetic.  And this has nothing to do with me thinking he is a pompous condescending asshole and she is nothing more than a door mat for him to walk all over.

I cannot stand to watch Taylor scream at David anymore.  How exactly were they arranged??  Someone needs to tell these folks meeting on a blind date is not the same as having an arranged marriage.  Plus, Taylor is a vile human being who knows nothing about treating people with respect.  I had a manipulative mother in law, and I learned early on to be polite ...nothing more, just polite.  Taylor lacks the brains to understand that's all she needs to do to create peace in the family... heck, she can't even be polite to her own husband.    I am honestly hoping their marriage fails because he seems like a nice guy and I hate to think he will be bullied by her for the rest of his life.

The only couple who I believe had an arranged marriage is Ben & Vicki, because it's probably true that they were met through a Jewish matchmaker.  They obviously had strict rules to follow while dating, which they took seriously.   Ben is a child and has no capacity to appreciate how smart and considerate Vicki is.  I get that she wanted a safe, predictable family life, but why would she agree to marry such a doofus?  For the record, I thought she looks beautiful in her wedding dress.  And she is the only bride who glowed on her wedding day.  I was very touched by it.

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While agree that Vicki looked lovely at her wedding, they were far from arranged as well. It wasn't a Jewish matchmaker. They knew each other in school back in Seattle and reconnected in NY at school and she had a friend fix them up. 

 

Sadly its true that Married at First Sight is more of an arranged thing than this show has been. Maybe that is what it should have been called instead. LOL

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29 minutes ago, Evil Queen said:

While agree that Vicki looked lovely at her wedding, they were far from arranged as well. It wasn't a Jewish matchmaker. They knew each other in school back in Seattle and reconnected in NY at school and she had a friend fix them up. 

Ohhh, I hadn't realized that.  I guess I missed that part while watching.  Yeah, then they didn't have an arranged marriage, either.  Wow.

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22 minutes ago, Snewtsie said:

Ohhh, I hadn't realized that.  I guess I missed that part while watching.  Yeah, then they didn't have an arranged marriage, either.  Wow.

Actually, what they shared on the show was the following

You can't date someone unless part of the search to marry  and singles are introduced to each other through the  Orthodox Jewish community. In her case, she also said that men can't express interest firsr, it has to be the woman (I'm going off memory). So Ben shared he was waiting and hoping after reconnecting with her that they would get matched. She said she told a friend she was interested and that's how the matchmaking started. In their tradition, matchmaking is a mitzvah ( a good deed again), so friends will let the the responsible people know, and the next steps happen from there.  So as far as how they explained it in the first episode, it's more a matchmaking than any of the others. 

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3 hours ago, lilsadone said:

Actually, what they shared on the show was the following

You can't date someone unless part of the search to marry  and singles are introduced to each other through the  Orthodox Jewish community. In her case, she also said that men can't express interest firsr, it has to be the woman (I'm going off memory). So Ben shared he was waiting and hoping after reconnecting with her that they would get matched. She said she told a friend she was interested and that's how the matchmaking started. In their tradition, matchmaking is a mitzvah ( a good deed again), so friends will let the the responsible people know, and the next steps happen from there.  So as far as how they explained it in the first episode, it's more a matchmaking than any of the others. 

 

What I posted was from an interview they did. Sorry should have said that with it. But either way its still not arranged...which is suppose to be the point of the show. 

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1 hour ago, buttersister said:

Ew, now I'm left wondering if something happens in this episode that would have been (even more) inappropriate following the murders in Orlando.

Probably not, probably knew peoples focus would have been elsewhere and since they have the cast tweet prior and during the show, etc. it would have been inappropriate to even promote it, maybe? 

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1 hour ago, buttersister said:

Ew, now I'm left wondering if something happens in this episode that would have been (even more) inappropriate following the murders in Orlando.

Probably not, probably knew peoples focus would have been elsewhere and since they have the cast tweet prior and during the show, etc. it would have been inappropriate to even promote it, maybe? 

 

 

EDITED: 

Actually, now that I think about it further, I don't see why they wouldn't air the show since it happened days prior. Maybe you're right

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I never heard of Orthodox Jewish custom where a man cannot express interest first. I think Ben was just passive and/or shy and would not make the first move. The way it is supposed to work is typically like this: when a girl hits around 19, and a guy around 21, they will start to visit a real matchmaker who will set them up on dates based on matchmaker's judgement (which is not always that great btw). The guy and girl will meet up for sodas at a hotel lounge, have acouple more dates, then if things go well he will propose. The matchmaker will get a hefty commission for this job. This is the way true Orthodox couples get arranged. SInce this couple is modern orthodox, which is slightly more relaxed, typically couples will meet at synagogue, at Jewish holiday parties or events, things like that and not necessarily go through a matchmaker. 

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On ‎06‎/‎14‎/‎2016 at 8:16 PM, Squirrely said:

Glad I'm not losing my mind! Get your shit together, FYI. The second airing is on and it's still the old one. Third time's the charm?

I too tried taping the 2nd, 3rd, etc thinking there was a mixup in the schedule somehow ... since Frontier took over Verizon here in Cali terribly strange things happen with my shows ... I wish FYI would publish something saying what happened ... my fear is that the show is canceled !! I cannot imagine why they would so it probably is not canceled. I hope they fix whatever is wrong ...  another thing I thought about is summer time interns are hired ... at first I thought maybe a newbie made an error .. I just can't stand Taylor's face when she told off her mother in law ... how she feels she can be so rude to people is mind boggling.  I read she was a toddler beauty queen ??

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6 hours ago, kat12379 said:

I never heard of Orthodox Jewish custom where a man cannot express interest first. 

I have no idea, I just believe that's what they shared in their TH's in the early episodes.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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I can't stand to watch Taylor and David anymore. They hate each other. I want to throw something at my TV everytime Taylor's smirking , nasty face comes on.

It's interesting learning about the religious traditions with Ben and Vicki. I don't know why he had to sleep on the floor either, why not sleep on the couch? 

Mayur and Maneka are just meh to me. Not interesting. I might just stop watching this show altogether. 

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"Is that it?" Wow. Fuck Taylor, for real. Her parents raised her so badly. She's a terrible person. Doesn't care about anyone but herself, is incapable of compromise, and every word out of her mouth is snide and full of disdain. She deserves to be alone. Run, David.

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I wonder what David saw in Taylor.  I feel bad that Ben had to sleep on the floor.  I hope they think of another arrangement soon, because I can't see him doing this forever.  I don't particularly care for Vicky. I don't think she is right for Ben.  I wonder why she chose a way of life she seems to resent.  

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I wonder if the minister of the Baptist church watches this show. Taylor is so terrible to David and it is really bothering me to watch how she abuses him. She complains he has to leave his mother but she is the puppet of her mother. She can be pretty but she doesn't act pretty. I thought she softened a tad since the first episode. I don't consider them arranged.  They just bet through his cousin who is a friend of hers.  Real arranged would be the parents get together and arrange the marriage.

I am surprised at Mayur ... he seems so sweet and attentive compared to what they were showing before they were married..... so that really makes me think this is all scripted because they wanted us to think badly about him... He's a sweetheart now .....

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2 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

I can't stand to watch Taylor and David anymore. They hate each other. I want to throw something at my TV everytime Taylor's smirking , nasty face comes on.

It's interesting learning about the religious traditions with Ben and Vicki. I don't know why he had to sleep on the floor either, why not sleep on the couch? 

Mayur and Maneka are just meh to me. Not interesting. I might just stop watching this show altogether. 

I agree.   I hope they get this straight soon.... I don't believe her religion would really teach what she does. She is a copy at of her mother.  It is so ugly to watch such nasty and ugly behavior. They give their church a bad name. She tells him not to be listening to his mother but she listens to hers.

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OMG this recap is so hilarious. I didnt watch the shows but I think I didnt have to after reading this. I still root for Maneka and Mayur even though they seem like completely different people with aboslutely nothing in common except that they have heritage from the same subcontinent across the globe. I believe it was mentioned that they dont even come from the same Indian culture either. 

I have occasionally kept the niddah laws with my husband. It can be very difficult, but I use that time to get a lot of work done. Its supposed to make the time you come back together as husband and wife like a honeymoon phase all over again. To be honest, I think it is a not bad solution for couples who have lost the spark. It really makes you yearn for your spouse, when you CANT have them and you never had restrictions with them before. There cannot be spontaneity really. However, I have heard from marriage therapists that if couples want intimacy to be a regular part of their marriage, it has to be scheduled in, similar to how when many couples are dating, each date is kind of like scheduled sex if they are intimate with each other. 

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1 minute ago, kat12379 said:

OMG this recap is so hilarious. I didnt watch the shows but I think I didnt have to after reading this. I still root for Maneka and Mayur even though they seem like completely different people with aboslutely nothing in common except that they have heritage from the same subcontinent across the globe. I believe it was mentioned that they dont even come from the same Indian culture either. 

I have occasionally kept the niddah laws with my husband. It can be very difficult, but I use that time to get a lot of work done. Its supposed to make the time you come back together as husband and wife like a honeymoon phase all over again. To be honest, I think it is a not bad solution for couples who have lost the spark. It really makes you yearn for your spouse, when you CANT have them and you never had restrictions with them before. There cannot be spontaneity really. However, I have heard from marriage therapists that if couples want intimacy to be a regular part of their marriage, it has to be scheduled in, similar to how when many couples are dating, each date is kind of like scheduled sex if they are intimate with each other. 

I'm glad to hear from someone who has experienced it. I had not known about the law, nor many of the requirements until this show tonight. Can you say why he slept on the floor? I mean is that a requirement that he not be comfortable or something?  I can see where it would put the focus on being a strong couple ... thanks for sharing

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19 minutes ago, BetteC said:

I'm glad to hear from someone who has experienced it. I had not known about the law, nor many of the requirements until this show tonight. Can you say why he slept on the floor? I mean is that a requirement that he not be comfortable or something?  I can see where it would put the focus on being a strong couple ... thanks for sharing

Im glad I got to shed some light on it Bette :) I can only assume the couch was uncomfortable. During niddah the couple can sleep in the same room or even in the same bed if the bed is made of 2 mattresses pushed together and each sleeps on the other side.  However the wife is discouraged from making herself overly attractive to her husband during this period of time. 

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10 hours ago, BetteC said:

I agree.   I hope they get this straight soon.... I don't believe her religion would really teach what she does. She is a copy at of her mother.  It is so ugly to watch such nasty and ugly behavior. They give their church a bad name. She tells him not to be listening to his mother but she listens to hers.

Taylor is a hateful little shrew. Her mother disparages David's religion and she doesn't make a peep? Hell, I'm an atheist and I emitted a small scream when she called David's religion "weird" and then smugly blats that a person should "live their faith" every day. Um, kind of like you're doing, you hypocritical old shit bag? My god. The Lutheran religion is hardly some crackpot fringe cult.

Throughout the entire episode I was muttering "David, just cut your losses. Get out now. You can find a nice girl who won't spend every waking moment de-balling you."

Vicky seems very unhappy and Ben? Is clueless.

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Wow Taylor's over reaction to David's driving. I can imagine her kind of driving...probably like many where I am that think they own the road and you better move out of their way or they will run you off. I am not sure why they ever got together at all. He is a quiet mellow guy from what it seems like and she is loud and bossy. Side note-I see why they put this one off from last week with David and Taylor going off shooting. Even with what they were doing it was the right move to delay it. As with that, why would anyone let her touch a gun? LOL The more and more of her we see, the more I am surprised she didn't find some rich Texan Baptist man to marry. Her going through the clothes was stupid. As for their churches, another stupid thing. She should just go to her's and him to his. So lame to think he should be whatever she is and that is that. 

 

All I am going to say on Mankea and Mayur is give me a damn break!!! They are the fakest of all on this show and nothing more. I just can't with them. Anything out of their mouths is the just pathetic. 

 

I am not sure why Ben didn't sleep on the couch after he took all the cushions off. Really this not being intimate is a good test for these 2. Ben though is pathetic about it though. I think him doing that and saying he will just sleep somewhere else was stupid on his part and shows he can't handle it. Marriage is not all about sex. Sure its a part of it but there is more to it. He is just not ready for this at all. I think he was just wanting to get laid and hey she was around they got together and that was that. She looks miserable all the time too. Seems Ben wants to live the life he had before marriage and be married so he can get laid when he can and be taken care of like his mommy would. He is so VERY immature. Its one thing to hang with your friends here and there but not run off just because its that time of the month. What will he do if he can't run off to them during that time? He can't figure out how insensitive he is until the Rabbi is point out things to him? UGH!! Makes me wonder how it was for his parents growing up. Yet hopefully he will learn from this and next time stick around through it all and take that time to do other things that will help them learn more about each other in other ways. 

 

I just think all these couples though should never have gotten married.

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On ‎6‎/‎15‎/‎2016 at 10:45 PM, buttersister said:

Ew, now I'm left wondering if something happens in this episode that would have been (even more) inappropriate following the murders in Orlando.

 

On ‎6‎/‎16‎/‎2016 at 0:29 AM, Evil Queen said:

I was wondering if it was something with the Texans and guns if it was true on why this was delayed or if it was just something else altogether.

Looks like you were both spot-on. Wasn't the delayed episode the one where David and Taylor went shooting? (I watched 2 episodes plus re-watched  one I'd already seen but missed part of,  so I might have some episodes mixed up.)

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I honestly hope Vicki watches these episodes (and her mother does as well) and she is convinced to leave Ben. He is so incredibly selfish and narrow-minded - how do you manage to make a conversation about marriage all about yourself?! "She's always taking care of my needs, she's always giving me affection, etc. etc. etc." Ben only seems to realize his immaturity when it is pointed out by elders in his community. Eventually he is going to have to life on his own. And since he went through premarital counseling, he really does need to stop relying on others for advice. I'm surprised that wasn't imparted to them during their counseling sessions. I think that this marriage is doomed unless Ben shows huge growth and makes some serious personality and personal changes. 

I really don't have any more insightful comments about Taylor and David that haven't been discussed already. That poor, poor man. He looks so defeated and he seems like a nice and quiet guy. I truly hope that he leaves her if this is how she really acts.

As far Maneka and Mayur, he initially showed so much promise earlier in this episode but by the end when she had to repeatedly ask for some ice and he left the kid without at least a high-five or a hug or anything, it really struck me that he is not remotely a kid (or people?) person. Clearly, the child-rearing activities and duties while fall to Maneka and he can be "fun Dad" who imparts his wisdom of "not losing sight of the ball" whenever he feels like actually spending time with his kids. 

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I felt so bad for Vicki during the niddah.   Ben is such a child.

I can understand why niddah is tough for women.  I would think the hard part would be forfeiting their husband's affection, not abstaining from sex.  That time of the month is a lousy time for me.  I get tired, insecure, emotional, and I used to get terrible cramps.  My husband empathizes with me and gives me lots of reassuring hugs, back rubs, and extra cuddles.  I would hate it if he couldn't even touch me at all.  

I would be throwing thing at Ben.

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What I like best is learning some of the cultural/religious/geographical things that are occurring.  It fascinates that Maneka and Mayur are so Americanized in some ways and so traditional Indian in others.  Taylor is just a pig, yuck. Ben and Vicki are a hoot. I get that this is scripted,  but either they are good actors or there truly is a.lot of animosity between the two at times.  Laughing at the stereotype of the stingy Jewish people.

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To be fair, if Ben is right that they only have $150 a month (or just that month) to spend after covering their basics, yeah, they need to be stingy. (Which includes Ben giving up his money pit of a car and his sushi lunches.) If that were my situation, I wouldn't even have bought the $20 candle they ended up with. They're broke students. Ain't no shame in it, but it means they don't have money for extras. I'm also biased because I'm an unapologetic saver. Belt-tightening, unemployment benefits, and my emergency fund got me through a bout of unemployment, and I firmly believe that everyone everywhere needs what one of my favorite professors called a "fuck off" fund; saving money is never a bad idea, IMO. I pay myself first.

What they need to do is sit down and do a mutually agreed-upon budget, TOGETHER. Put some wiggle room in (if there is any) for an occasional sushi lunch or latte or movie or whatever, but it seems like they're both still spending as though they're single, and they need to start working together on this stuff. (I would also assume their synagogue had some kind of pre-wedding counseling, but maybe not.)

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Ben said they pooled their savings and that even though "there is a lot of money" they shouldn't be just taking it. "A lot" means such different things to different people so who knows how much is in there.

Ben handled this poorly from the jump. I get that they (he?) decided that he would be the one to manage the money/pay the bills but that doesn't make you the boss of the bank, IMO. It means that after you create a budget with your partner, you maintain and know at the drop of a hat if there's money to replace the broken lamp or whatever. What you don't do is go through everything yourself and then call your spouse to the table and with an almost smirk face, throw questions at them like, "How many of those do you have a day/week?" knowing the answer in advance, just so you can shame them for their overspending. Whether it was intentional or not, it looked like Vicki was being led into a trap with those questions and that's just not cool and I can guarantee will not get the result he wants. The smile when she called him out on his spending screams that Ben feels the rules apply to her, not him.

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The way this show misrepresents the laws of Family Purity was very upsetting. There is NO reason to sleep on the couch, the floor, a friend's house, or become emotionally distant. I've been married for almost 20 yrs. Being a niddah has never affected us, even when I was bleeding during pregnancy and we ended up having to abstain for MONTHS. REgular Orthodox (i.e. not modern-orthodox) have a bedroom set with 2 beds, like you see in I Love Lucy. No one has to sleep on the floor. or couch. or friend's house.

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More and more that I watched the relationship between Taylor & David. I'm almost positive that Taylor is a Cancer...moody and bossy LOL just like my sister. I wondered what David sign is...it's a shamed that he's allowing himself to be treated with no respect. Tsk tsk..she's going to get tired of him sooner than later.

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