The Shows of 2014: Because They've Been Pureed in a Blender

[halgia]

The four amazing finalists open the first basket and get a drive-thru snack and a cold dessert. $50,000 is destined to go to one of the last three celebrities' favorite charities, but which stars will have good luck with the duck in the entree basket? And the fifteenth and final round of the Chopped Tournament of Stars is bound to be intense: do the competitors have enough culinary stamina left to make something yummy, beautiful and creative from churros and champagne?

Originally aired April 6, 2014.

[halgia]

The chefs have two starchy ingredients to work with in the appetizer round: Chinese dumplings and Middle Eastern noodles. Then in the entree round, the three competitors go in different directions with lack of lamb, and will one chef recover after burning two of the mystery ingredients? And two pawpaw desserts are critiqued as the judges decide which chef will be the Chopped Champion.

Originally aired April 7, 2014.

[Lillybee]

I am thrilled that Michael I. won. He was so calm while he was cooking, and I loved that he said that cooking could be a form of meditation.

[ramble]

The woman who burned her lamb needed to go because she mentioned her "brand" so many times. Using your name a lot & calling it a brand does not magically make it so.

The guy that won seemed pleasant & happy. Nothing he made looked outstanding, but nothing anyone made really did to me.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

Count me in on the Brand Lady Must Die/Lose club. Jeebus, so annoying. 

[speac]

I assumed she wants to be the next Martha Stewart but she'll never make it with that voice that sounds like she was sucking helium.

[MLE]

She really was terrible. I do not care about your brand!

But I really liked the first guy eliminated, even though he brought his own chopping upon himself with just leaving the dim sum as is.

[FormerMod-a1]

 

There are mixed reactions from the chefs when they learn that they will be competing with three baskets of leftovers. When time starts in the first round, the chefs frantically dig in to takeout containers from various types of restaurants. Then in the entree round, some forgotten packets of hot sauce find their way in to the basket and one chef realizes a critical error too late. And who knew there was such thing as leftover bacon, one of the ingredients in the dessert round? 

 

[ElleryAnne]

Gah. Two things I don't need to know - that you can't stop promoting yourself, and that you cook for "affluent foodies".   I rarely root for anyone to lose, but I'll make an exception for people like that.  She was the most annoying contestant in a long time. 

[mlp]

I found it hard to believe that a girl that young (and obnoxious) has enough credibility to attract "affluent foodies" willing to pay to take classes with her.  I suspect that those students were all friends of her parents gathered together for the photo session.

[Bella]

Or she had a connection to something like MeetUp, LivingSocial, etc., where they'd want someone in the customers' age bracket to be the teacher in order to be "relatable." That's what I assumed. But that doesn't mean that her cooking is special. If you're reasonably competent, you can teach beginners and they'll be in awe of you.

[Lnmop]

This was my favorite episode of Chopped EVER! The four Grandmas were so calm and competent, and the nicest contestants I've seen on any competitive show. The food looked great - even the judges had to really reach to find anything wrong. I especially loved it when one of the grandmas chided Ted, saying he was behaving like a naughty grandchild. More shows like this, please!

[muddywaters]

And they were so sweet to each other!  They even made one of the judges cry.  And this viewer dabbed at her eyes a little too.

 

I never had a grandma in my life.  I want one of these.  No, I want all of them!

[Wordsworth]

I really enjoyed this episode.  It had all the marks of a typical "Chopped" episodes.  The entree round was hilarious:  one hair, one undercooked protein, one forgotten basket ingredient.  

 

Oh, and that whole bit about Kyle cutting himself meaning that he could potentially be chopped?  Ridiculous!  They should know by now that cutting oneself isn't a chopped offense, it's leaving blood on the plate or on the food that causes a choppable situation!  Since he cleaned up, removed the cutting board and didn't get blood on the plate, his cutting himself was not going to be a problem for him.

 

 

[Julia]

I enjoyed the thai grandmother (who was also featured on My Grandmother's Ravioli on the Cooking Channel).

[FormerMod-a1]

I really enjoyed this episode.  It had all the marks of a typical "Chopped" episodes.  The entree round was hilarious:  one hair, one undercooked protein, one forgotten basket ingredient.  

 

I know!  Three of the classic "gotcha"s in one round.  It was great.

[LazyToaster]

I loved this episode too! I'll have to tell my son that I was right about the Thai grandma. He thought I was imagining I had seen her before.

[Lisin]

The chefs battle for the lead in the first round, as they try to figure out what to do with a potent ingredient: so-called 100-year-old eggs! Then in the second round, mango pudding must make its way into the competitors' main course dishes. And with waffle cones in the final basket, will either chef make ice cream for dessert?

[picklesprite]

And the kiss of death, "I really think I've got this!" before being chopped.

[rujasu]

Yikes!  If there's anything more dangerous than someone trying to use the ice cream machine on Chopped, it's two chefs competing for said ice cream machine.

[Wordsworth]

Did anyone else find that it was easy to predict the contestants who would be chopped in the first two rounds?  

 

First round:  missing egg...on top of just scattering the broken onion chips on top.

Second round: overcooked fish (and, to be honest, I was wondering if they would call her for not "transforming" the asparagus)

Third round:  Was up in the air until George was so sure he had it...

 

I also think they weren't impressed with his intentions for the money.

[Joystickenvy]

I definitely got the impression that the judges were less than impressed with the guy that lost, but I think what did him in was talking about how life wasn't worth living if you couldn't drink, after two contestants shared their stories about overcoming addiction.

Of course it's all edited, so I could be entirely wrong.

I did enjoy the guy who forgot his egg's, "good news is, you don't have to eat any more 100 year old eggs!" Comment. I wish they'd just put in a second ice cream machine.

[ElleryAnne]

I definitely got the impression that the judges were less than impressed with the guy that lost, but I think what did him in was talking about how life wasn't worth living if you couldn't drink, after two contestants shared their stories about overcoming addiction.

 

 

All of which made that guy one of the most unlikable (to me, at least) contestants I've ever seen on this show.  The whole episode was awkward and klunky with the drinking references.  The editors played on it more than they needed to, IMO.  

[Julia]

I think it was the first time I've seen a contestant behave so badly that I was pretty sure they were going to lose just for that. Besides, soggy rude douchebro is a totally last decade pose. 

[Teena]

There's definitely a method when it comes to who is Chopped:

 

1.  Round one, they ask WHY they're competing---the person they ask is usually Chopped, regardless of their sob story.

2.  Round two, the person who comments on the dishes of another and says "whew, I won't be Chopped" is almost always chopped.

3.  Round three, always a toss up because it's not about the dish, it's about the entire round.  

 

I laughed out loud at the female chef who said (paraphrased) "They can't put anything in that basket that I haven't seen before"....and then tried to break the 100 year old egg and fry it.   I'm no chef, but I knew the 100 year old egg wouldn't be liquid.

Edited May 22, 2014 by Teena

[Wordsworth]

If they say at the end of round three, "I've got this in the bag" or something like that, they tend to be chopped. 

[Julia]

I kind of figure that they have tape of all the contestants saying that they have it in the bag. I agree that they only seem to show it when the person's about to be bagged.

[Bella]

Chopped airs multiple seasons simultaneously, making it difficult to determine what season you're watching, let alone what episode. Plus, during any given week there are repeats from random years.

 

Therefore, this thread is for discussion of all Chopped episodes that are airing in 2014. It doesn't matter when they aired initially. If you watch an episode of Chopped on the Food Network and it's calendar year 2014, you can discuss that episode here.

 

 

[Julia]

Thank you.

[rujasu]

Anyone see the recent episode with the Outback Steakhouse guy as a guest judge where every basket had moonshine?  I'm used to product placement and all, but this was just a shameless way to air a one-hour commercial for Outback.

 

Also, the woman who won seemed unstable and managed to make charcoal out of moonshine by trying to "reduce" it.  She also forgot to turn the ice cream machine on in the final round and yet they thought her partially-frozen ice cream was just wonderful and declared her the winner.  It was all very strange.

[cooksdelight]

I didn't think she had the food to win, but her constantly talking about why she just had to win told me she was a shoo-in. She did seem a little daft.

[ramble]

I agree the winner did seem a little wonky. Honestly I wasn't overly impressed with any of the chefs.

You know when I think Australia I always think Outback Steakhouse, the quintessential Austrailian experience. Well honestly I think moonshine first than Outback. Because when I say moonshine everyone I know yells Australia. What a horribly overdone product placement. Chopped does Australia via an over-priced steak chain.

[cooksdelight]

I guess because I grew up in NC, moonshine is more of an American thing to me. I never knew Aussies made the stuff. I know plenty of people around here who make it, however. :) I really don't care for the shows that are one big advertisement for a product. That particular episode bored me to tears. Most of the ones that have run this year so far, I fall asleep and have to ask someone "who won?"

[ramble]

@cooksdelight I grew up in a moonshine making area as well. Maybe Australia has a large moonshine economy that I'm completely unfamiliar with, but it just seemed odd & forced on the show. I guy I went to high school with takes orders for moonshine. I've never ordered but find his attempts to stay under the radar amusing. I'm pretty sure the authorities know, heck they probably buy.

[xaxat]

Soooo, cancer beats carbon monoxide poisoning. And camel milk? That's a thing?

 

Another unimpressive episode. 

[cooksdelight]

I just couldn't take all the cancer talk, every other friggin' sentence. I'm sorry they had cancer, but I'm almost more sorry they made it to this show. Carbon Monoxide Girl was so upset her disease wasn't as important as cancer, she just couldn't stop talking about it either. Let's hope Yolanda Foster didn't see this show or everyone who watches her on TV will be subjected to her new diet of avocados and camel's milk to finally cure her Lyme disease.

The first guy who helps the soldiers was the one I wanted to win, just so the others might fade off into the sunset never to be seen on this show again.

You watch, Ted will figure out a way to bring back all the survivors of cancer, drug addiction, alcoholism, etc., and turn it into a Season of Sob Stories.

[Julia]

As far as I know, the cure for carbon monoxide poisoning is oxygen. While I'm sure her Very Upscale Client Gwyneth Paltrow has figured out how to serve that as an hors d'oeuvre, it's not really a nutritional solution.

[Drogo]

I would eat Outback's $9.99 filet any day over anything those "sophisticated" chefs put forth.

 

First episode in a while where literally nothing looked appetizing to me.     

[Violet Penner]

Amy Schumer did a parody of Chopped last night: http://www.cc.com/video-clips/ik3rac/inside-amy-schumer-sauced

I honestly thought this was a Very Special Episode of people who had survived traumas/illnesses. I checked the episode description to see if it had a label like the Firefighter or Grandma one. It's getting absolutely ridiculous. I'm waiting for the contestant who will show up still connected to the IV drip who's competing for money to complete treatment. (sorry if that sounds mean or insensitive, but ENOUGH with the stories, just COOK)

[ModernWhimsy]

I think they should self snark and do an episode where each chef says "i want the money to blow on something stupid." And no one has a back story...they applied, have no maladies, are offering no backstory of redemption....they just want to see the damn basket.

[Bella]

"Why am I here? I had nothing better to do."

[ramble]

Tonight's episode was sort of pleasant but also uncomfortable with the final two: small Asian gal with unconditionally loving parents & tall white guy with judgmental military dad. I felt so sorry for the dude because I understand what he was saying. I have a friend with an ex who is like that with his kids & they can never be good enough. It's very damaging. The lady was so pleasantly upbeat & enjoyable to watch. In the end though I was glad the guy won because I think he honestly needed the validation & the girl's comment about her parents loving everything she does told me her support system is completely different. It was nice that no contestant was an ass. Alex seemed less stink-faced tonight as well. I enjoyed the episode pretty much wholly for a change. Thanks Chopped. And, for me, Scott.

[Lola16]

I'd prefer the chef that makes the best dishes win.  But that's not Chopped.

[GaT]

So I guess tonight's theme was good parent/bad parent?

[Julia]

It's funny, ramble, I reacted completely differently to that story, at least the longer the show went on. I absolutely agree that it's hard on a kid to have bad parents, but I thought Chef Jeffrey [sp?] used his sad tale of woe to manipulate the judges into a win he didn't earn.
 
His (judgmental, disapproving, military) father happened to come up nine times in casual conversation? His staff is his only family (and they're hispanic, three times), so he can totally cook hispanic food, like he can every other global food profile because he's just that damn good unless he isn't like in the case of the three meals he prepared here in which case he was distracted by the lambs screaming, er, crippled by the lack of self esteem he learned from his judgmental disapproving military father into, say, not sticking his beggar's purse shells into a muffin tin and pre-browning them (and from what I can see they didn't brown as much because he didn't adequately butter them as because he only left them in the oven for five minutes or so).
 
Meanwhile, Scott's practically quivering with indignation about how Jeffrey needs to learn to love himself, and the judges are kvelling about how at least he's screwing up the dessert with confidence, and Alex of her own family issues (have you heard the story about how her mom told her she wasn't good enough to win Iron Chef one or six times?) is telling the young woman who cooked the better food that Alex can tell she's too humble to expect to win. Meanwhile, Jeffrey's life-changing win got a smug smile and half a fist pump out of him is how much his world was rocked.
 
The whole thing kind of made me indignant (I guess you can probably tell). I thought it was the LARP version of I'm doing this to prove something to [the family member who didn't approve of My Path As A Chef], and I really hope they're not moving in the direction of touching psychodramas. I'm a little afraid they are, now.

[Maverick]

  If Chef Military Daddy Makes Me Sad is for real, he needs to find someone to talk to.  For a grown adult to be going on that much about a parent making them feel like shit as a child and still be that effected by it, there is a serious problem there.

Edited June 4, 2014 by Maverick

[Drogo]

I hope they have a lot of Kleenex and Xanax in the waiting room for all of these contestants.  They may want to think about hiring an on-set therapist as well.

[Julia]

I don't think people as broken as Jeffrey Forrest pretended to be here have the career he's had (the stint in the Marines seems particularly OOC). But oh look - he's taking part in two Food Network panels at the NYCWFF... 

Edited June 4, 2014 by Julia

[cooksdelight]

If they have another home cook show, I'm playing for my cat. Fair warning. :) Lots of cute cat photos in my pocket, a cat themed dish with every basket. I could win this thing.

[Bella]

I hope they have a lot of Kleenex and Xanax in the waiting room for all of these contestants.  They may want to think about hiring an on-set therapist as well.

 

Or a quart of vodka for each contestant. That would be entertaining.