The Shows of 2014: Because They've Been Pureed in a Blender

[40Love]

She didn't come right out and say that, but yeah, she was definitely auditioning.

The one who said she wants to be on FN was the sort of heavy-set woman on the all-women competition this week. She went out after the dessert round. Her restaurant where she's a pastry chef (I think?) has good Yelp reviews. The dark-haired woman who won was so quiet and efficient, I was glad she won. Pastry Chef who wants to be on FN was one of those who thought she was entitled to win, I thought.

Thanks! Yeah, I'm glad the dark-haired quiet one won too. I was also to see more of the soft-spoken chef who cut a finger right before plating. Unfortunate mistake... she might have made it to the next round over the FN-celebrity wannabe!

[CaptainCranky]

The one who wanted to be on FN sorta reminded me of that goofy cowboy on Next FN Star.

[GaT]

The one who wanted to be on FN sorta reminded me of that goofy cowboy on Next FN Star.

Maybe that's why he seems to have disappeared, he's masquerading as a woman on Chopped. 

[mlp]

 

The one who said she wants to be on FN was the sort of heavy-set woman on the all-women competition this week.

 

I sort of laughed at all the polite reactions to that statement.  She was very unattractive.  If Scott Conant or Chris Santos had been on the judging panel, I suspect that one of them might have suggested that she establish some credibility as a chef before aspiring to be on FN television.

[cooksdelight]

Agreed. I'd sign up to watch Danushka have a show on FN before that woman.

[Bella]

Since FN is moving away from food and toward personalities anyway, a show with Danushka is entirely plausible. I'd not only watch it, I'd organize my entire life around it. I'd like to have her be a talk show host, kind of like Andy Cohen on Bravo, except she'd be bored to death with everyone and end up talking about herself. More Danushka!

[cooksdelight]

In addition to continuing her work as a private chef, Danushka has just taken her exam to become a sommelier. She also sells facial products and who knows what else she's got her hands into. She's an interesting person.

[Julia]

Since FN is moving away from food and toward personalities anyway, a show with Danushka is entirely plausible. I'd not only watch it, I'd organize my entire life around it. I'd like to have her be a talk show host, kind of like Andy Cohen on Bravo, except she'd be bored to death with everyone and end up talking about herself. More Danushka!

  

In addition to continuing her work as a private chef, Danushka has just taken her exam to become a sommelier. She also sells facial products and who knows what else she's got her hands into. She's an interesting person.

I flove that she's opened up a sideline in wine and retail. She and Joe Bastianich could be the supervillain Regis and Kelly of TFN.

[Bella]

She needs her own show so that we can set up a forum for her.

[cooksdelight]

I passed along your idea for a talk show. Now we just need to find her a PR person. :)

[mlp]

I thought I was the only one who liked Danushka.  I didn't like her when she was on Chopped which was the first time I saw her but, when she was on FNS, I realized she was playing a role and doing it well.  I got a kick out of her schtick. 

[Julia]

Honestly, I don't see why anyone would spend her life cosplaying Katie Lee Joel, but she does it better, if less lucratively, than Katie Lee Joel does.

[Rick Kitchen]

I passed along your idea for a talk show. Now we just need to find her a PR person. :)

 

Surely she has one.

[cooksdelight]

I don't think she does. She's so busy with her private catering business and now learning the wine biz too. FN is a hard nut to crack, getting a show. Even people that the public ask for have found it's easier to get guest gigs on other networks. Look at Kent Rollins, he's been on NBC more than he was on FN. He'd be perfect for a show, too.

[xaxat]

It still boggles my mind that FN (maybe?) has that fake cowboy Lenny instead of Kent.

[backformore]

The most recent episode, Scott Conant topped his usual arrogance. One chef had cut her hand, had a bandaid on it. So she was cutting the fish.and used tongs and a knife. Apparent this was IRREVERENT and DISRESPECTFUL, and Scott was personally offended. (Really Scott? Does disrespected fish not taste as good?) He was pissed!

I wanted the chef to respond : really? I have 30 minutes, working with a bandaged hand, making sure not to touch the fish lest a molecule of blood escape onto the dish, and you're nitpicking over me grabbing the wrong utensil to hold fish while I cut it? The fish is DEAD, it doesn't care about being RESPECTED !!

Of course, what Conant was really offended by was the fact that she was an executive chef but had only been cooking for 4 years.

Conant was overruled by the other two judges, I was happy she won over curly mustache man.

[mlp]

I so agree backformore.  He's nice looking but I often wish someone would just slap him.  I was actually hoping the fellow would win but I think you're right on about what Scott was really annoyed about.

[GaT]

Of course, what Conant was really offended by was the fact that she was an executive chef but had only been cooking for 4 years.

 

That was my take on it too, all the chefs seemed offended that it took her less time to become an executive chef than it took them.  Poor babies, somebody out chefed them.

[CPP83]

Scott's behavior was beyond disgraceful. He hasn't thrown a tantrum/fit like that in a while, it is amazing that a grown man could revert to such childish, immature actions over food. It's a dead fish and she may as well have spat on his Nannie's grave.

[NikSac]

Just catching up on tonight's Chopped episodes. It's unlikely I'd ever be on the show, but if I were I think I'd put somewhere between 3 and 5 pounds of salt on the food. Do the judges even like any other seasoning? All the "lack of seasoning" complaints, especially when they mean lack of salt, are driving me nuts!

[Julia]

My, Conant's being defensive about it on twittter. I guess the other judges need his guidance too?

[MizArk]

My husband, who only occasionally watches Chopped with me, was appalled by Scott's behavior to that poor woman. "How the hell is she disrespecting a dead fish by not bleeding all over it??" We thought the chef handled that unfair attack with grace and dignity -- and yes, absolutely believe Scott was more offended that she's "only" been cooking for 4 years (the same amount of time one attends medical school or law school, for crying out loud -- it's cooking, not rocket science!! I've been doing it for hubs for 37 years, doesn't make me any better a cook than that woman). Now I doubt I'll get dh to watch with me again, darn it.

[cooksdelight]

His initial post on Twitter made it onto his Facebook page:

I don't expect people outside the restaurant biz to understand how to handle product.

Go watch "Jiro dreams of sushi"

U may get my point

We're friends so I don't want to question him about it and possibly incur his wrath.

[backformore]

Just catching up on tonight's Chopped episodes. It's unlikely I'd ever be on the show, but if I were I think I'd put somewhere between 3 and 5 pounds of salt on the food. Do the judges even like any other seasoning? All the "lack of seasoning" complaints, especially when they mean lack of salt, are driving me nuts!

Since I've been watching cooking shows, I have realized that any judge would consider all of the food i cook to be under-seasoned.  I didn't realize that when a recipe calls for a "pinch"  of salt, what they mean is a half-handful.  I had thought it was the amount I could pick up with my fingers (like "pinching") .   I see it on every show, where  they add salt, from a little bowl,  to every ingredient while cooking, then add MORE salt at the end.  I've never considered copying that, I think it would make food inedible.  And, there's the issue of my husband's blood pressure.  

 

Back to Conant  - while I understand his point, he is missing the important thing.  It's not how you want someone to prepare  sushi in a restaurant.  BUT -  This is a timed cooking show, where the contestants have to race the clock to combine ingredients that don't go together to make a better dish than someone else is making.   It might very well be more "respectful"  to clean up your bleeding hand, put on a glove, and then find the proper utensils to do the job the best way.    BUT -   then the clock runs out.  

[Bastet]

That contestant deserved a special award for standing there and enduring his tirade with a straight face, because I would not have been able to refrain from saying, "You've got to be shitting me."  Even my cat looked at me with an "Is he kidding me with this?" expression on her face.

 

Did the fish look and taste good on your plate?  Oh, it did?  Then shut up about how she "disrespected" a dead fish by using tongs instead of her bandaged hand. 

 

I watched Chopped instead of election results last night because it was supposed to be less apt to piss me off.   Thanks a lot, Scott Conant.

[Bella]

I watched Chopped instead of election results last night because it was supposed to be less apt to piss me off.   Thanks a lot, Scott Conant.

 

And thank you for my first good laugh of the day. I would have felt the same way about both, but I was catching up on DVRed shows following a vacation. Now I know to be pissed off in advance. Of course, he does this right after that idyllic commercial starts airing on every single show I watch. 

[cooksdelight]

Smartass that I am, I'd have said something that would probably have gotten me the death ray stares from all of them, and a shocked Ted with his legs crossed so he doesn't pee his pants.

[Bastet]

It was just so utterly ridiculous.  We've seen plenty of contestants do a far worse job of butchering various things, and even when that really hurt the dish there was nowhere near that level of commentary.  For him to throw a tantrum when the fish came out just fine - in fact, well - in spite of her crude technique was nuts.

[ZoqFotPik]

Just to switch gears and maybe I've just never noticed before, but during last night's episode they played the "Crib Music" from Saints Row: The Third. I think that's an odd choice.

[Totale]

That was my take on it too, all the chefs seemed offended that it took her less time to become an executive chef than it took them.  Poor babies, somebody out chefed them.

It's just a title.  For the sake of my blood pressure I now skip all the chef's introductions so I don't know how big her restaurant is, but when I was 23 I was the Technical Director for a manufacturing corporation which was considered one of the tops in its field at the time.  But only 20 people worked there, and all it practically meant was that I fielded tech support calls in between fixing broken shit like I did before the prior TD quit.  Kudos to her for staying graceful under Conant's onslaught, and even though she screwed up her dessert I still think course for course she beat all comers.  And just since nobody else mentioned it, what a colossal douche the private chef was.  It was big of him to deign to accept the judges' criticisms, seeing as how they were acceptably articulate and all.  Pureed antipasto "pate" sounds gross, Amanda's face said it all.

[Bastet]

Since I watched several episodes last night, they all run together, but was that private chef the one who started a sentence with, "Not to be a dick, but ..."?  And then, as does anyone who offers such a preface, went on to say something completely dickish.

Edited November 5, 2014 by Bastet

[turbogirlnyc]

The most recent episode, Scott Conant topped his usual arrogance. One chef had cut her hand, had a bandaid on it. So she was cutting the fish.and used tongs and a knife. Apparent this was IRREVERENT and DISRESPECTFUL, and Scott was personally offended. (Really Scott? Does disrespected fish not taste as good?) He was pissed!

I wanted the chef to respond : really? I have 30 minutes, working with a bandaged hand, making sure not to touch the fish lest a molecule of blood escape onto the dish, and you're nitpicking over me grabbing the wrong utensil to hold fish while I cut it? The fish is DEAD, it doesn't care about being RESPECTED !!

Of course, what Conant was really offended by was the fact that she was an executive chef but had only been cooking for 4 years.

Conant was overruled by the other two judges, I was happy she won over curly mustache man.

 

Funny that you mention this because I recently saw Scott's Infiniti commercial. At the end of the commercial I instantaneously thought "how does Scott Conant have that many friends?" Lol. Anyway...

[Bella]

Regarding the music comment, it's really weird. I even heard the Amazing Race theme once.

 

I'm surprised no one else ever talks about the music.

[Julia]

Seriously, the man works for a show which specializes in forcing indifferently talented cooks to combine goat kidneys with turmeric, marshmallows, and snail jerky. How respectful to the goat is that? Or, for that matter, to the snails or the cows that went into the marshmallows?

Edited November 5, 2014 by Julia

[GaT]

Regarding the music comment, it's really weird. I even heard the Amazing Race theme once.

 

I'm surprised no one else ever talks about the music.

I must be seriously dense, because until I read the comment about the music, I didn't even realize that there was music.

[picklesprite]

That was so uncomfortable when Scott did that, and her self-restraint was remarkable. Although, if she'd said something like, "Oh, get over yourself," he wouldn't have backed down. He'd have escalated, I suspect, and harrumphed all over her.

 

Far from being spanked for disrespecting the fish (I can't reread that without laughing!), she should have been praised for her quick thinking and delicate touch with the tongs. (Can't read that without laughing, either.)

[cooksdelight]

I'm cooking some sashimi tuna tonight. I will be sure to say a prayer, bow to the fish, and make sure it's comfortable before I put it on the flaming hot grill.

[Bastet]

Ha!  I wonder what I should do to honor the lamb chops I'll be cooking tonight.

 

To me, respecting an animal whose life is sacrificed to become my dinner happens well before I go to cook it.  It's how it was fed, housed, slaughtered, etc.  Once it's dead, I think I can use any utensil I want on it and slap it down on my cutting board with any amount of force I want without being accused of "disrespecting the protein."  It's like something out of a skit.

[backformore]

I'm cooking some sashimi tuna tonight. I will be sure to say a prayer, bow to the fish, and make sure it's comfortable before I put it on the flaming hot grill.

I have this vision of you having a conversation with  Charlie the Tuna from the old starkist commercials. You are reverently and respectfully thanking him for allowing you to purchase and prepare him for dinner. 

 

Charlie, of course, would thank you for selecting him to have the honor of being caught  and consumed  Because it's all he ever wanted, to be good enough. 

[Bella]

Ha!  I wonder what I should do to honor the lamb chops I'll be cooking tonight.

 

To me, respecting an animal whose life is sacrificed to become my dinner happens well before I go to cook it.  It's how it was fed, housed, slaughtered, etc.  Once it's dead, I think I can use any utensil I want on it and slap it down on my cutting board with any amount of force I want without being accused of "disrespecting the protein."  It's like something out of a skit.

 

This! As a failed vegetarian (long story), I pay enormous premiums to buy meat from animals that were cared for, emphasis on the word care! I want my meat to come from animals that were happy, comfortable, and well-fed up until the point where they were killed.

 

But when I get it home? I can do whatever the hell I want to it. Whatever. The. Hell. I. Want.

 

Of course, it would be stupid to waste expensive meat, but I will use tongs if I fucking want to use tongs.

 

Hmm ... I'm worked up and haven't even seen the episode yet. Should I just delete it unwatched in order to protect my blood pressure?

[CPP83]

Hmm ... I'm worked up and haven't even seen the episode yet. Should I just delete it unwatched in order to protect my blood pressure?

 

 

 

 

Well the good news is that she does win in the end, so that buffers Scott's...irrational thinking. But Scott really crossed the line, I felt, he acted and spoke to her as if she'd physically assaulted his beloved pet, it was truly a "WTELF" moment.

 

I do give the young lady a massive amount of credit for not talking back, though she was well within her right to, or getting an attitude and thankfully she didn't cry, whether in anger or embarrassment, and she basically smirked into the camera afterwards and said it'd take far worse to make her cry, a very bravo moment from her after such a shameful display she was forced to be apart of.

 

And then when they were discussing the three meals at the end of the show to determine the winner he admitted that he still couldn't "discuss" her irreverent treatment of the fish or else he'd just get worked up again.

 

It was pretty note worthy I must say and made him look like a First Class Ass, imho.

Edited November 5, 2014 by CPP83

[Rammchick]

There's something I didn't understand about that whole debacle.  She cut herself on a dorsal spine, which became another "bone" (pardon the pun) of contention -- "Ha!  She's obviously inexperienced or else she would've known how to handle product better..."  Sorry, judges, I've been handling fish all my life, both catching it and doing research with it, and spines on a fish can still stick me if it's grabbed the wrong way.  Catfish in particular have nasty pectoral spines.

 

Anyway, there was an obvious spot of blood on the board, which the camera zoomed in on.  And then, it appeared as though none of the judges tried her fish; the only comments about it were how nicely the skin was crisped.  The blood was never mentioned, she didn't get Chopped, and then she ultimately won?  This all seemed extremely weird.

Edited November 6, 2014 by Rammchick

[Bastet]

We saw her switching out boards after that, and where the blood had dripped on the old one was pretty far away from the fish (probably because she'd pulled her hand back toward her quickly upon feeling the pain, so by the time she started bleeding that's where it was), so I don't think there was any issue with eating the fish.  (And no one did the "I'd love to taste this, but I can't" routine we've heard when food has been bled on.)

[cooksdelight]

I'm watching it now, and from what I can tell, Scott cleaned his plate. I guess he didn't think it was too disrespected if he ate it all. I think Chris did as well, and he mentioned how good the skin tasted.

She handled his attack with a lot of grace.

[Totale]

It's been a meatgrinder of a day and we're just getting calzones and onion rings from down on the corner.  I intend to respect them by inhaling them.

[backgroundnoise]

Scott's behavior was beyond disgraceful. He hasn't thrown a tantrum/fit like that in a while

Yeesh.  It wasn't like she was using the tongs to mash the hell out of that poor, dead fish.  She didn't break up the filet or whatever he had his undies in a bunch over.

[CPP83]

There's something I didn't understand about that whole debacle.  She cut herself on a dorsal spine, which became another "bone" (pardon the pun) of contention -- "Ha!  She's obviously inexperienced or else she would've known how to handle product better..."  Sorry, judges, I've been handling fish all my life, both catching it and doing research with it, and spines on a fish can still stick me if it's grabbed the wrong way.  Catfish in particular have nasty pectoral spines.

 

 

 

And Scott then remarked that she had gloves if she was so concerned with getting jabbed again, except the gloves they give are those thin food preparation gloves which can all too easily be sliced through as well, it isn't as if she was given the option to wear some sort of oven mitt for protection.

[Rammchick]

Thanks, guys -- it was late when I was watching it.  I could've sworn no one ate the fish.

[Bastet]

Hmm ... I'm worked up and haven't even seen the episode yet. Should I just delete it unwatched in order to protect my blood pressure?

 

I think his snit fit is something you have to see to believe; our talking about it here really can't do justice to just how ridiculously he behaved - or how amazing it is that she refrained from laughing at him, snotting off right back at him, or advising him to seek mental help.

 

She should be proud of how she handled not just that situation, but all the "Gee, I didn't feel it was right for me to be an executive chef until I had 15 years experience" talk.  She very honestly said she is sometimes intimidated by her lack of experience, but she was given the job and all she can do is perform it to the best of her abilities.

[cooksdelight]

I agree. Don't delete without watching it. In fact, I'm saving this one for a while.