S03.E04: Honeymoons

[seasick]

Imma gonna stick up for my buddy David.

He isn't huge, he just needs to cut out the third beer and leave the bread basket alone.

He looks like all the other older frat bros at a working lunch meeting at Dave and Busters.

His good manners and patience with Ashley will eventually win her over as she acclimates to having another man other than her decade boyfriend.

Team David.

 

Removing moles as big a Doug's would leave craters and scars so if the mole is noncancerous, leave them be.

 

I think RyanD was in some shady biz, you can Google around to get the info.

I'm with you.  Damn, a guy doesn't have to be Brad Pitt to qualify for a partner, or even have sex appeal.  I think he's nice looking. He'd be even more attractive if he wasn't fighting off death by boredom. and contact depression from Ashley.  

 

I think Doug should remove the moles.   I come from a generation when people had flaws and learned to live with them,  but nowadays people are harder on each other. They are off-putting.  I'd rather see a scar.  

[Kareem]

Someone said Neil was "effeminate". I couldn't agree more. And I also agree that he kind of prides himself on not trying to change and be more attractive to women in the normal way. Everybody's ragging on Sam and deservedly so - let me point out something about Neil. IMO Neil is lazy. He could NOT have been getting any action with that grandpa beard he was sporting AND HE KNEW IT. Hence it took one comment from Dr. Pepper to get him to shave it. Why? He signed up for this show so they could find him someone and he wouldn't have to do any of the work. He just wants to be married. So you got your wish Neil...how does it feel? ...

I think so, too. He's not malicious or mean but like Sam, seems proud of his quirks. Have to wonder what his dating life was like, aside from the ex- who filed him under "friend". I wince every time he refers to that abrasive sloppy brute as "my wife". I hope he doesn't stay with her just because he wanted to be married and now is. Neither one of them are very appetizing.

[seasick]

Someone said Neil was "effeminate".  I couldn't agree more.  And I also agree that he kind of prides himself on not trying to change and be more attractive to women in the normal way.  Everybody's ragging on Sam and deservedly so - let me point out something about Neil.  IMO Neil is lazy.  He could NOT have been getting any action with that grandpa beard he was sporting AND HE KNEW IT.  Hence it took one comment from Dr. Pepper to get him to shave it. Why?  He signed up for this show so they could find him someone and he wouldn't have to do any of the work.  He just wants to be married.  So you got your wish Neil...how does it feel?

 

I don't remember Ashley actually saying she doesn't like to have fun....I thought she said David likes to do little kid things but she doesn't.  If I'm wrong, it won't be the first time.  But regarding Ashley, as others have said, she's not into him and IMO has already given up.  To me it was very rude to sit in the car and ignore your husband and look at your e-mails and then pull the 'I'm shy-you're a stranger' card.  Ashley is VERY aware of the cameras and has probably promised herself from the beginning that she would not do anything to look bad on TV.  Fair enough, but look in your medical book on how to disengage stick from butt.  Because lady, you are a total drag.  I'm still holding out hope she will come around, because David is not ugly by any means and has a cute demeanor.  But I think about the future....if they did stay together and she really was such a lifeless bore...how could a people person like David ever truly be happy with her?  He'd have to drag her to every function where she'd sit in the corner and send off 'leave me the hell alone' vibes to everyone.  She may have better manners than Sam (my 2 year old grandson does) but she acts totally shocked that she's married to a stranger...even though she signed up to marry someone sight unseen.  Is this the kind of brainiac we want working in the medical profession?    

ITA with your observation on Neil.  I said something similar in a ;previous post but the way you put it has me thinking more about it.  It could be lazy,  but I also think it's stubborness, too.  Maybe insisting one "look past the exterior" or something.  It's also possible that Neil doesn't really want a sexual relationship with a woman, or is afraid of it, thus the insistence on appearing less attractive.  There is something going on there. I don't think he's innocently unaware that he has some turn-offs.

 

Ashley in a helping or medical profession is a horror.  She is scared of people and doesn't even like them. (that is why she has spent the past 12 years out of high school with her nose in a book)..  I'm SURE she's a huge germaphobe too.  . Please, no.  

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

'He's A Vanilla Wafer, And I'm, Like, A Samoa Cookie,' Says Boring Asshole On Married At First Sight
The couples muscle their way through excruciating honeymoons. Who ranked the worst this week?

[zxy556575]

I'm with you. Damn, a guy doesn't have to be Brad Pitt to qualify for a partner, or even have sex appeal. I think he's nice looking. He'd be even more attractive if he wasn't fighting off death by boredom. and contact depression from Ashley.

 

Ha!

 

I think David looks approachable and friendly.

 

Most people date/marry within their own general sphere of attractiveness, right? If they don't, it's unusual enough that the rest of us comment on it: "What's she doing with him?" or "How did he get her?"  or "Wha?" Would any of the couples this season provoke that kind of reaction? Not at all, if you ask me.

 

I'd rate Tres and Vanessa both in the 8-9 range and the others at  6-7. Above average and not unattractive by any means. The disconnect seems to be that Ashley and Sam consider themselves to be 9s and therefore deserving of men at the same level.

[spankydoll]

I feel bad for Sam. She is acting horribly on national television. I don't know how you get around that and go on pulling together a career, social life, etc. The only person who was a heinous bitch on a reality show and dug herself out of it was Tiffany Faison on Top Chef. She came on the reunion show and flat out said that she was horrified by her behavior, had personally apologized to everyone she had offended and has been stellar on all of the food porn shows since. What is so bad about Sam's situation is that she is being shitty to a nice man. A nice man who is trying to accommodate her odd behavior and try to cobble out some kind of a friendship if not a marriage.She is fucking up an all expenses paid trip to a beautiful resort that some people may never be able to experience once in their lives. She is fucking up Neil's all expenses paid trip to a beautiful resort that some people may never be able to experience once in their lives, I am thinking that Sam must miss out on many great experiences because of her horrible social skills - maybe that's why she is an animal lover. I am even leaning towards one of the producers "suggesting" that she find some reason to appreciate Neil and stop acting so terribly.

 

That girl will be digging out of this mess for years! And Neil will have a legion of female fans. 

 

If I was her I would spend a lot of time talking about heinous Mark Shoemaker as a diversionary tactic,

[moonxyz]

During his Skype call with Vanessa, Cilona said that Tres has been looking for marriage for 2 years, but Tres clearly told to Vanessa, that he didn't think about marraige before receiving the "oppurtunity". Did Tres lie to the "experts" to get on this show, or is Cilona lying to Vanessa?

[Snarklepuss]

I understand that, but no one wants to be married to someone they don't find attractive. Not suggesting they turn it into Tinder, but maybe have consideration for the physical as well as mental attributes. I don't know how many people they have to work with though, and of course most of them are going to be fame whores, like you said.

 

I think that if they are marrying at first sight, they should do more to ensure that the women find the men attractive at first sight, otherwise the whole process can slow down too much or even get derailed completely.  If the women were in real world conditions they would have no pressure and all the time in the world to warm up to a guy they didn't find initially attractive, but on this show that's not the case.  They don't have an unlimited amount of time to warm up to each other - They only have 6 weeks.  Under those kinds of time constraints a woman can feel too much pressure to just "let nature take its course" and give a guy a chance and it can actually backfire the entire relationship.  I think that before the experts match the couples they should do stuff like show women photos of say 15 possible men on one sheet and ask them to pick out the men they found attractive and which they did not find attractive.  If any of the guys the experts are seriously considering for them falls into the "not attractive" pile they shouldn't match them with the woman, period.  I realize they may be working with a smaller pool of men but in future seasons I think they should expand their search if they want this show to succeed.  I don't think they should compromise on other compatibility factors just for physical attraction.

 

It's obvious that Vanessa just happened to find Tres attractive at first sight and so far things seem to be moving along nicely with them.  So I do think making more of an effort to make sure the women find the men attractive at first sight would do a lot to get things off to a faster and perhaps better start.  Women are more difficult and complicated to satisfy, yes, I'll cop to that, but if the show wants to do that it needs to step up to the plate and learn how to make it happen.  Just my humble opinion!

[humbleopinion]

Ashley thinks her emotionless face is showing the camera a pleasant countenance but it is coming off as a "resting ewww face" to everything David says and does.

But David is going to persevere, she will defrost and finally react to his attentiveness.

I wanna believe that he will win her over.

 

 

OTOH, Sam continue to bulldoze Neil and the audience with her over the top dramatic actions and reactions.

 

Neil is mostly likely to take off the sound pack, carefully wrap the wires to not damage the unit and walk off set, fed up with his chosen spouse's antics.

No fun to snark on human suffering.

Team Neil.

[Neurochick]

I don't believe that when someone acts badly they have to have some "disease" or a "syndrome."  I don't think Sam is an addict or an alcoholic.  I just think she's mean and selfish and nobody in her family has ever corrected her, so she continues to be mean and selfish.

 

Meanwhile, I believe Ashley is searching or longing for something that doesn't exist on Planet Earth. Look at her career trajectories. She earned her MSW, entered social work, then decided to go back to school to get her RN, to "help" people. Evidently her social work clients weren't worthy enough of her help? What will happen when her RN patients don't improve, or die? Ashley becomes a doctor...or a massage therapist? What? But Ashley, wherever you run, there YOU are. There is NO escape from Ashley, Ashley.

 

 

I think this is the problem with most of the people on this show.  They are searching for something that doesn't exist.  They've spent too many hours watching TV and thinking real life is like that, that attractive people are just all over the place, when in reality most people are average looking (that's why it's called 'average').

 

I'm an introvert so I completely understand her desire to get a night alone because David is just so in her face all the time, and just watching it mentally exhausts me. I'm not an anti-social introvert, but if I don't get solitude to recharge I start turning into a huge bitch, and it's really hard to control.

 

 

If that's true then why is Ashley on this show?  I would think a reality TV show would be the last place for an introvert.

 

IMO, of the three men, David is the best looking.  

Edited December 24, 2015 by Neurochick

[ketose]

I think this is the problem with most of the people on this show.  They are searching for something that doesn't exist.  They've spent too many hours watching TV and thinking real life is like that, that attractive people are just all over the place, when in reality most people are average looking (that's why it's called 'average'). 

Bingo. The people on this show are "TV ugly" which means they are attractive to varying degrees, but those HD cameras are pretty unforgiving. I don't know if the people on the show get told this or not, but I suspect that a really specific list of physical attributes in the looks department gets them a one-way ticket to off the show.

 

The show is casting these participants, and that makes it hard to find guys in that age range. I bet they would have better luck finding some guys 10-15 years older than the women who are better looking and really ready to settle down, but that would lead to different criticism.

[Snarklepuss]

If that's true then why is Ashley on this show?  I would think a reality TV show would be the last place for an introvert.

 

FWIW, I don't agree.  I don't think Ashley's issues are because she's an introvert.  Introverts don't normally have social anxiety and clam up to the extent she is displaying and are ready willing and able to come out of their shells when they want to - Mr. Snarklepuss and I become regular outgoing chatterboxes when we are in the mood.  Ashley just doesn't want to put herself out there for whatever reason - My theory is that she's so hung up on not finding David initially attractive that she's not getting past that to wanting to learn more about him.

[BunnySlippers]

 

Ashley in a helping or medical profession is a horror.  She is scared of people and doesn't even like them. (that is why she has spent the past 12 years out of high school with her nose in a book)..  I'm SURE she's a huge germaphobe too.  . Please, no.  

 

I agree. I'd hate to be a patient under her care. I think she would freeze a room when she walked in.

 

I think that if they are marrying at first sight, they should do more to ensure that the women find the men attractive at first sight, otherwise the whole process can slow down too much or even get derailed completely.  If the women were in real world conditions they would have no pressure and all the time in the world to warm up to a guy they didn't find initially attractive, but on this show that's not the case.  They don't have an unlimited amount of time to warm up to each other - They only have 6 weeks. 

 

 

Exactly. It's easy for the experts to say that the women should give the men a chance; they are not the ones who are expected to warm up to someone they don't find physically attractive and, if they stay together, eventually have sex with them. By ignoring preferences about the looks of the potential husbands, they are setting up these women for potential failure in this "experiment."

 

I have the vague memory that they do show pictures of men to the women before they are matched up, but if that's the case, then I don't know how they end up making these kinds of matches. If there aren't enough matches that would be satisfactory for both parties, then they shouldn't do this show at all. But, of course, the money they are making with this is more important than actually helping these people.

[zxy556575]

Check me if I'm wrong, but I think I remember, from probably the first season, that one of Cilona's tests was a physical attractiveness measurement where people looked at 50 images or so and rated them.

 

As with all their other assessments, fairly bogus and non-predictive is my guess. Or else the experts are shit at accurately interpreting the results.

[Snarklepuss]

Check me if I'm wrong, but I think I remember, from probably the first season, that one of Cilona's tests was a physical attractiveness measurement where people looked at 50 images or so and rated them.

 

Well, knowing how picky we women can be (myself included) I think it would make more sense to show them a couple of dozen photos of the actual candidates mixed in with other guys just so the women don't know who is and who isn't a possible match before they actually meet the guy, and then asking them how they feel about each photo.  That would be a more accurate assessment than just showing them random photos and attempting to figure out from that what their "type" is.

[tinypeanut]

These women who are so particular are like many women who grow up spoiled and always have a list of what they want in a man.  That is why they are usually still single.  Remember Ashley when she was looking for a wedding dress?  It had to be "the one".  Now every woman might feel that way but we know you usually look great in many dresses.  She feels the same way about men.  Always looking for the perfect one. I agree with others, why did she go on this show?  For the money?

 

Funny, I never had this problem when dating or marriage because I did not think I was better than other people.  I did not have a "type" and dated men of different sizes and looks.   Personality and compatibility always won out.  Many of my friends who were attractive always went for the best looking man in the place but they were also very spoiled growing up.  Maybe they were never taught that what is on the inside is more important than the outside.   Also, they never stayed with the best looking guy because most of them were macho or conceited and knew they could get any woman and were unfaithful.

Edited December 24, 2015 by tinypeanut

[Madding crowd]

I think it is a little unfair to say that women who care about physical attraction grew up spoiled. If physical attraction is part of what you look for in a mate, there is nothing wrong with that. Getting married is a personal choice and not selfish/unselfish by itself. No one is forced to get married.

I feel the same about wedding dresses. You only get to wear a beautiful dress like that once (for most anyway), and it's the most expensive dress you will ever buy. Why not be picky? I think we should be picky in all aspects of our lives and refuse to settle. Going on this show means you should be more open minded but I'm not convinced most of these people are looking for anything but TV exposure.

[mythoughtis]

Ashley isn't trying.  She could google a list of questions to ask people to break the ice in any situation.  She could google and find lists of questions to ask your spouse about future goals.  They could have spent quite a bit of time on that drive answering questions and carrying on the resulting conversation.  Things like 'where would you like to go on your NEXT vacation and the one after that ?  are you a pet person?  What's your favorite movie.  Get to know each other, and then he won't be a stranger.  She's just counting down six weeks.  David is willing to look beyond the six weeks.   Sam is beyond help.  How she got to be a bank manager is beyond me, because I as a customer wouldn't be willing to overlook her attitude.  Trey and Vanessa are just publicity hounds.  Both of them shouldn't have had any trouble finding people to date or marry.

 

If Ashley had given David a couple hours of honest conversation, he'd be ok to go have a beer in the bar while she got some alone time.

Edited December 24, 2015 by mythoughtis

[NeenerNeener]

I'm guessing they matched up Sam and Neil so they could use "Sam Neil(l)" as a couple nickname.

 

If the internet rumors are true and this David really is a con artist/grifter in the Atlanta area then Ashley's "Stranger Danger" instincts are dead on.

[tinypeanut]

I think it is a little unfair to say that women who care about physical attraction grew up spoiled. If physical attraction is part of what you look for in a mate, there is nothing wrong with that. Getting married is a personal choice and not selfish/unselfish by itself. No one is forced to get married.

I feel the same about wedding dresses. You only get to wear a beautiful dress like that once (for most anyway), and it's the most expensive dress you will ever buy. Why not be picky? I think we should be picky in all aspects of our lives and refuse to settle. Going on this show means you should be more open minded but I'm not convinced most of these people are looking for anything but TV exposure.

Nothing wrong with physical attraction which is what draws people together sometimes.  I am talking about the women I know who pick the best looking guy in the place because that is the number one thing they look for.  They are usually the same women who have a list of qualities and preferences in a husband.  The perfect husband list.  Many of these women (that I know) grew up with everything given to them so they continue to have that outlook in the men they choose.  

 

I did not say looking for someone handsome or physically attractive makes you spoiled.   I did not mean to offend anyone here.

 

Also, my original post was somewhat tainted because I read on another site that Ashley grew up in a home where money and social status was important.

Edited December 24, 2015 by tinypeanut

[Matty]

Sam is ridiculous. Her image of a "manly man" (her words) is a douchy, frat bro. Neil isn't that at all. He's a quality person as someone stated earlier. He has manners, is reserved, intelligent, a bit quirky and doesn't throw his weight around, swill beer, belch and boss her around. I prefer a "Neil" type any day of the week. As for the beard, those are a dime a dozen now a days and every hipster from Brooklyn to Berkeley is sporting one. I think Neil has his own style and it's not "basic" like Sam's. Oh, Sam, those shorts! Let just say that Sam is not quirky, witty, funny or a joy to be around. Her personality is grating and she doesn't have the vision to see a good guy that's right in front of her. It's ironic that both Sam's mother and father liked Neil after meeting him and knowing him for ten minutes. Continue with the verbal attacks, Sam. I hope kind, sweet Neil drops you like a hot potato when the six weeks are up. Sam is a hot mess! Neil's mother and grandmother seemed like such lovely people. Neil, don't saddle them with Sam!

Edited December 24, 2015 by Matty

[Jack Sampson]

Many of my friends who were attractive always went for the best looking man in the place but they were also very spoiled growing up.  Maybe they were never taught that what is on the inside is more important than the outside.

This works if your friend's name is Kate Upton. The girls on this show have to know that they are barely average in looks...but they don't.

It comes down to self-awareness. Not having any is a modern plague. Raising a daughter to be an American princess special snowflake isn't doing her any favors.

The guys have their own problems. Neil is the male equivalent of a special snowflake - he's so in love with his own quirks that he's unwilling to change to get what he claims to want...a wife and family. David is awesome if he'd drop about 30 pounds, hit the gym and occasionally stopped fawning over Ashley. It's embarrassing and feeds her snowflake delusion. Both of them need to show some backbone.

 

I think that before the experts match the couples they should do stuff like show women photos of say 15 possible men on one sheet and ask them to pick out the men they found attractive and which they did not find attractive. If any of the guys the experts are seriously considering for them falls into the "not attractive" pile they shouldn't match them with the woman, period. I realize they may be working with a smaller pool of men but in future seasons

They do this. It's not the actual contestants, but both men and women go through books of standardized graded people - yes it exists - and they choose whether or not they find anyone attractive. Some start to consider people attractive at 4, some at 8. I'm guessing they eliminate people who are only attracted to 9+s.

Edited December 24, 2015 by Jack Sampson

[seasick]

 

These women who are so particular are like many women who grow up spoiled and always have a list of what they want in a man.  That is why they are usually still single.  Remember Ashley when she was looking for a wedding dress?  It had to be "the one".  Now every woman might feel that way but we know you usually look great in many dresses.  She feels the same way about men.  Always looking for the perfect one. I agree with others, why did she go on this show?  For the money?

 

Funny, I never had this problem when dating or marriage because I did not think I was better than other people.  I did not have a "type" and dated men of different sizes and looks.   Personality and compatibility always won out.  Many of my friends who were attractive always went for the best looking man in the place but they were also very spoiled growing up.  Maybe they were never taught that what is on the inside is more important than the outside.   Also, they never stayed with the best looking guy because most of them were macho or conceited and knew they could get any woman and were unfaithful.

I think what you are describing are women who are very image conscious.  It's all about what other people think. and how things look from the outside.  I get the "spoiled"   association though, This trait often goes hand in hand.from my experience. 

 

However my brother is Very image conscious, me not so much.  Same parents. I never felt I had to prove anything. In fact I,  at least, was discouraged from being controlled by what others thought.    I also had a friend who grew up poor and not spoiled, but became obnoxiously image conscious.when she got a little money.  It can be a very hollow priority..    

Somehow my comment to your post ended up boxed to look like another quote.  IDK. 

Edited December 24, 2015 by seasick

[BonnieLass]

The description for next week's episode says 'Sam realizes what she has done'.  Makes me curious; does that mean she realizes how she acted towards Neil during the honeymoon and that she needs to change? Or does it mean that she's going to have a melt down because, after months of interviews/signing contracts/preparing for the wedding, it just dawned on her that she married a stranger? 

 

I was hoping the near-miss car accident would make her realize she needs to pull her head out of her butt. Now I'm thinking the roller coaster ride may not be over for a while.

[Momof2boyz]

I think it is very telling that Ashley just broke up with a very long term boyfriend a year ago and it explains why she would have applied for the show.  She probably thought she was going to marry this guy and now they are broken up and she is alone and nearing 30 and freaking out.  She wants desperately to be married and this seems like a quick fix.  Total rebound reaction.  I have known so many people that broke up with very long term boyfriends or girlfriends and then married the first person that came along.  With this show, she didn't even have to find a new boyfriend and wait for him to propose.  The show would do it all for her and all she would have to do would be to show up and marry her Prince Charming.  The problem is that there is no Prince Charming and she is totally unprepared emotionally to move forward with something like this.  She realizes her mistake but it is too late.  They never should have picked her for this show - Epic Fail in casting.

[tinypeanut]

I think it is very telling that Ashley just broke up with a very long term boyfriend a year ago and it explains why she would have applied for the show.  She probably thought she was going to marry this guy and now they are broken up and she is alone and nearing 30 and freaking out.  She wants desperately to be married and this seems like a quick fix.  Total rebound reaction.  I have known so many people that broke up with very long term boyfriends or girlfriends and then married the first person that came along.  With this show, she didn't even have to find a new boyfriend and wait for him to propose.  The show would do it all for her and all she would have to do would be to show up and marry her Prince Charming.  The problem is that there is no Prince Charming and she is totally unprepared emotionally to move forward with something like this.  She realizes her mistake but it is too late.  They never should have picked her for this show - Epic Fail in casting.

Great post ^^^^

 

I thought it was strange when she said they were together for 9 years.  Sometimes that means the man does not want to marry.

[Adeejay]

I can't help but wonder why Ashley was chosen.  She is average looking and doesn't seem to have much of a personality.   She comes across as cold, aloof and emotionally unavailable.  Did the "experts" say why they matched her with David?

[Jack Sampson]

I can't help but wonder why Ashley was chosen.  She is average looking and doesn't seem to have much of a personality.   She comes across as cold, aloof and emotionally unavailable.  Did the "experts" say why they matched her with David?

I believe they said it was because he was outgoing and patient and kind and it would offset her reserved personality. In other words, they thought it would be great to have a man spend his entire life trying to entertain, support and be considerate of a cold fish who never reciprocates.

The description for next week's episode says 'Sam realizes what she has done'.  Makes me curious; does that mean she realizes how she acted towards Neil during the honeymoon and that she needs to change? Or does it mean that she's going to have a melt down because, after months of interviews/signing contracts/preparing for the wedding, it just dawned on her that she married a stranger? 

 

I was hoping the near-miss car accident would make her realize she needs to pull her head out of her butt. Now I'm thinking the roller coaster ride may not be over for a while.

If Sam shows any progress it's all editing. She's 30, she's not going to change. Even having a man strong enough to shut down her insults isn't changing her, it's just working within the constraints of her stunted and damaged personality. Edited December 24, 2015 by Jack Sampson

[flyingmontana]

While I totally agree with all of your horrified reactions to Sam's insulting, obnoxious behavior toward Neil, I don't think he is such a peach either. In comparison to her, yes he is sweet and easygoing. But his stubborn self-conscious hipster quirkiness is not the only turn-off. When he communicates with her, he seems to me to be seething with hostility. The way he carefully articulates, with that stare of his... he's so passive aggressive that I actually feel like he's egging HER on by playing this holier-than-thou "see I'm acting so mature and patient but really skewering you with my intellectual disdain." I end up feeling like they're BOTH assholes who deserve each other.

David's patience, humor and kindness are amazing. If I had a guy like him I would have a little trouble being attracted to his soft physical shape, but I bet he could be easily motivated to get into awesome shape if he had a supportive and enthusiastic partner helping him eat healthy and exercising with him in fun ways. He definitely gets more attractive as you get to know him. I liked his conspiratorial whisper to Ashley that he just thought she would make pea soup better than the restaurant.

[okerry]

I wonder if they'd managed to progress to handholding at the end of those 9 years. I don't think Ashley has even made eye contact with David since the wedding.

Or she's not at all over that last relationship and did the show hoping to either make the last guy jealous or in the hopes that it would force her to move on. Neither one is going to happen, but I would not be surprised to find out that she's still very much hung up on that last guy.

[JapMo]

Nine years....yeah, a woman doesn't hang on to a relationship for 9 years unless she's pretty sure there's going to be a ring and white dress at the end of it.  I would think the experts zoned in on this and should have really grilled her about it.  She must have said something to ease their minds.

 

I don't think David is really overweight...at least not enough to be a turn-off.  Ashley's changing looks freak me out more.  She goes from tons of flowing curls on her wedding day (fake) to severely straight and somber now.  Vanessa's hairdos are really wacky too.  Here's a very cute 25 year old that is darling with her real medium length hair yet she chooses to look years older with a highly exaggerated (fake) bun piled high on her head.  Ladies...men don't like all that fussy stuff.  

[Jack Sampson]

I'd be interested in hearing women's take on the men. Rate them 1-10.

Edited December 24, 2015 by Jack Sampson

[tinypeanut]

I don't think David is really overweight...at least not enough to be a turn-off.  Ashley's changing looks freak me out more.  She goes from tons of flowing curls on her wedding day (fake) to severely straight and somber now.  Vanessa's hairdos are really wacky too.  Here's a very cute 25 year old that is darling with her real medium length hair yet she chooses to look years older with a highly exaggerated (fake) bun piled high on her head.  Ladies...men don't like all that fussy stuff.  

I don't think David is overweight either.  In the South it is not uncommon for some men to be a little heavy since the food tends to be on the unhealthy side. 

[tinypeanut]

I'd be interested in hearing women's take on the men. Rate them 1-10.

Neil -- I would give a 9 since he is patient, kind and adventurous.  Nice Looking

 

David -- I would give an 8 since he is very kind, patient, very positive but seems on the needy side.  Nice Looking

 

Tres  --  I would give a 7 since he has manners but seems to give scripted responses.  Very Good Looking

[Soup333]

While I totally agree with all of your horrified reactions to Sam's insulting, obnoxious behavior toward Neil, I don't think he is such a peach either. In comparison to her, yes he is sweet and easygoing. But his stubborn self-conscious hipster quirkiness is not the only turn-off. When he communicates with her, he seems to me to be seething with hostility. The way he carefully articulates, with that stare of his... he's so passive aggressive that I actually feel like he's egging HER on by playing this holier-than-thou "see I'm acting so mature and patient but really skewering you with my intellectual disdain." I end up feeling like they're BOTH assholes who deserve each other.

 

Eh, I don't know. Neil didn't start out treating her that way. Sometimes the more time you spend with a bitch/asshole, the more bitchy/assholish you become.

 

I think even with the beard Neil would have gotten some play especially if he was set up on dates by friends. Anybody who spent some time really getting to know him would see beyond the hipster stuff that he's a nice guy. And a lot of women, especially younger ones, dig the hipster look. It's the complete opposite for Sam. Anybody spending enough time to get to know her and her sugar gliders is likely to run the other way, male or female.

 

As far as ranking them, all these guys are average to me. 6-7.

 

ETA: No way Ashley is over her ex after just a year (and some of that spent auditioning for this marriage!). For all we know that might very well have been her only relationship and if so, she's holding David up to expectations he will never meet, even if he becomes a vegan, drops 50 pounds overnight and dyes his hair dark. He'll never be her ex.

Edited December 24, 2015 by Soup333

[Palomar]

One thing I HOPE we don't hear in the next episode is that "he/she is a stranger" as an excuse.  Actually, no....you have now spent enough time together to be beyond the "stranger" stage.  Yes, you don't know each other well, but neither do new couples who get together the usual way after a week or so.  Now, it is very possible you don't like the other person or think being married to them will work but enough with the excuses.  You put yourself in this situation.  Get to know them like any other person you are dating. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I think David is overweight regardless of what part of the country he's in. It's not a deal breaker but he'd better watch it before that extra 20 pounds turns into 40.

[ClareWalks]

Technically, David is probably "overweight" (not sure what his BMI is, or his body fat percentage, but he looks like he is in the 25-29 range for BMI) but he looks okay. Agree that if he cares (and I'm not saying he should), he should get on it now. Those things tend to get out of control. Don't ask me how I know this ;)

 

As for a 1-10 rating of the guys, if we are just going by looks: Neil 5, David 6, Tres 7.5. If we are factoring in personality: Neil 9, David 7.5, Tres 6.

[still hoping]

I think David is cute, kind of cuddly but then again this is Merica and statistically he is right on target LOL

He is NOT obese, he could easily firm up IMHO. He has nice eyes too

Tres is good looking - and tall.

Neil...well the huge beard....ugggg....and even the small beard just not appealing. I realize his hairstyle is stylish now but IMHO his forehead is too large and he is just not good looking enough to pull it off. Too severe.

I think he would look better with softer, more touseled hair, maybe a moustache and no beard or a very short beard

In his day Englebert Humperdink was totally hot - and he was 1/2 Irish and 1/2 India Indian...now I am not saying that Neil should rock sideburns but he could go for softer haircuI thought the 3 guys on season 2 were all ok (until seeing personality of Sean and Ryan R). I actually found Ryan D cute, I think Jacklyn was way over the top, and he was not attracted to her.

Doug's moles would be the real deal breaker for me...a good derm or even plastic surgeon..they could remove them...

he has fair coloring which means less scars ...but scars would be better. Ambitious Jamie should use some of the show money to get those moles removed and get him a good cosmetic dentist LOL

[ketose]

I don't know that Neil is that much of a hipster with the huge beard he used to have. That goes past the hipster line. His clothes are a little hipster, but that's also his group of friends.

 

Ashley does seem to be on the rebound. Since lots of people are together these days without marrying, I think after 2-3 years, you have to expect that if the guy hasn't proposed, he's not going to.

[ctbabe]

She absolutely checked out.

http://www.aetv.com/shows/married-at-first-sight/season-3/episode-4/video-diaries-counting-the-positives?cmpid=Social_TWITTER_Married%20at%20First%20Sight_20151223_315459807&linkId=19838927

[Kiss my mutt]

Yeah, though I don't think she ever checked in!! Dave needs to act a little less interested not like his life depends on this. He's sweet but it can feel smothering i imagine. Plus he did admit he likes to commit really quickly and that can come off desperate. No one wants to date a guy who's afraid no one else will ever like him so he tries to get a relationship zipped up.

I wonder what Neil would look like without a beard? Did his ex girlfriend like it? Is he covering up some freak industrial accident scars? It's just so distracting. I guess it takes the focus off his bulging eyes and big, greasy lips. Maybe he has a thyroid disorder?

There are a lot of things we can't change about our physical appearance but if you know something is holding you back, I'd look into trying to tweak those things and see. Like Doug's moles and Neil's face. Work with what you have.

I think Dave is kind but it can get annoying if he lets himself get treated as a doormat. And it wouldn't hurt to shape up some which he should have done in the first place before this show.

Vanessa and Tres bore me.

Edited December 25, 2015 by Kiss my mutt

[Neurochick]

 

David's patience, humor and kindness are amazing. If I had a guy like him I would have a little trouble being attracted to his soft physical shape, but I bet he could be easily motivated to get into awesome shape if he had a supportive and enthusiastic partner helping him eat healthy and exercising with him in fun ways. He definitely gets more attractive as you get to know him. I liked his conspiratorial whisper to Ashley that he just thought she would make pea soup better than the restaurant.

I like David, I don't know why but I find him very attractive.  There's just something about him.

[Kiss my mutt]

Yeah, I think so, I'll have to look.

[PityFree]

I'd be interested in hearing women's take on the men. Rate them 1-10.

David - 8.1

Tres - 8

Neil - 6

[lilabennet]

David-5

Neil-5

Tres-6

[Kareem]

I'd be interested in hearing women's take on the men. Rate them 1-10.

Neil - 4

David - 6

Tres - 8

All are probably subject to change as I learn more about them. Neil is just not working for me although he could quite possibly be nominated for sainthood for putting up with that creature. He seems kind. So far, I like the way David deals with the ice princess. He's average looking but more attractive in my eyes because of his personality. I love that he thought to write to the person walking his wife down the aisle, and the pea soup thing, things like that. Tres' behavior at the wedding made me smile. His friend says he has a good heart. I don't think he's been disrespectful, mean or a sap. Confident, tall and attractive (to me) are qualities that aren't too hard to take either. That said, it's unfortunate that the women this season seem to have a much shorter list of nice qualities. I like Vanessa and was happy to see she snapped out of her meltdown; the other two, not so much. How do you rate the women?

[moonxyz]

Guys first. 

 

Neil: 4

I re-watched the episode. Sam is obnoxious and cruel but I now get 100% of what she is saying. Neil may not be her cup of tea physically but she wanted someone that is assertive with a strong personality. Instead the experts gave her a passive aggressive hipster that is sarcastic and effeminate. Some women find that attractive, but being completely honest, Neil would annoy me after a few days of staying with him. 

 

David:6

I would give him a 7 but he comes across as way too needy and desperate. A part from that great personality, open, optimistic. Not the most cultured or sophisticated guy but he has a big heart. Would jump to an 8 if he lost 15 lbs and sorted his teeth. 

 

Tres 7.5

Physically, he is my type. He has no personality from what we've been shown, but Vanessa and Tres haven't gotten that much air time, They are probably too normal. I hope that when they consummate the wedding, we see more of his personality. For the moment, I only get "I'm horny and kind of lost" from him. 

 

[Snarklepuss]

I'm sure my ratings will change as we learn more about the men, but as of right now this is how I'd stack them up:

 

Neil: 5. 

I really don't know where I stand with him yet.  It's too hard to tell if he is indeed a sarcastic hipster or just not showing his best side due to being matched up with a psycho.  Physically I'd rate him a 3 just because he isn't even in the ball park at all for being "my type".  Plus I think the beard makes him less attractive - I just don't think beards suit him.  If he turns out NOT to be a sarcastic hipster his all around number might go up.  Interestingly while thinking about this I sympathized more with Sam's position on him, but realized it's her methods and attitude when dealing with him that are immature and destructive.

 

Tres: 6.5

Tres seems pleasant enough but I'm not sure whether he is ready for marriage yet.  He is biding his time with Vanessa, showing his absolute best side to win her over.  What happens when he does, I'm waiting to see.  Tres' number is skewed higher for me because I happen to find him attractive and would rate him an 8 on the physical scale.

 

David:  8

I'll admit it, I have a soft spot in my heart for well intended, upbeat dough-boy geeks.  I think I would click with his personality most of all.  Physically I would give him a little less than Tres, though, at a 7, but his personality is far more attractive to me, plus he definitely is "my type" so overall he wins the match.  Of course his overall score could change if suddenly he turns out to be a jerk, but I'm more sure of him than the other men so far.  Interestingly, David's personality is most like my father's of all the men.  I don't think that is any coincidence.

[Liberty]

Funny to watch Sam and Ashley reject their husbands since their husbands are not the ones they wanted.  They sure did not have the same concept of "marriage" that their husbands had.  The same is vaguely true of Vanessa, but she is not the same.

 

If we are to believe the editing to this point, the posers must have been thinking 'we struck out again this season, and these characters aren't even acting like they want to be married'.  At least last season some of the couples professed their belief in marriage by the fourth episode.