S06.E13: Meri Catfished

[3girlsforus]

I will never feel sorry for Kody as long as he continues to 'cheat' by having sex with multiple women. If he was just married to Meri, yes it would be emotional cheating. He divorced Meri so I think she can do what she wants.

 

I don't feel sorry for Kody, but Meri buys into the idea that she is married to him even though they are legally divorced. She buys into the idea that it's ok for him to sleep with 4 wives and she must remain monogamous. So she is breaking her own commitment. I don't care if it upsets Kody but I don't feel sorry for Meri and her guilt. She can't have it both ways. Either she admits this is stupid and she wants out, then she can go and find someone else. Or she continues in this farce of a marriage. But she can't claim to be ok with polygamy, blame her unhappiness on empty nest syndrome, and still expect me to feel badly for her as she cries about a failed attempt to find another man. 

[Nysha]

During the preview, they were talking about how nice it was for the children that they had multiple mothers.

Janelle said that she thinks that her children may love Christine and Meri more than they love her. I really hope that that is not true.

I doubt that it's true or that she really thinks this. I imagine that her children enjoyed going to see Christine because there were a lot of brothers & sisters their own age and Christine seems pretty laid back when it comes to noise and messy stuff. They probably liked going to Meri's because it was quiet and they got more one-on-one attention. But, at the end of the day, I'm sure they wanted to be home with their own mom.

[BlackWidow]

I doubt that it's true or that she really thinks this. I imagine that her children enjoyed going to see Christine because there were a lot of brothers & sisters their own age and Christine seems pretty laid back when it comes to noise and messy stuff. They probably liked going to Meri's because it was quiet and they got more one-on-one attention. But, at the end of the day, I'm sure they wanted to be home with their own mom.

 

        Well for one thing, Janelle said 'like' more than she not 'love'. And that is entirely plausible because the relationship with an aunt or mentor or much older sibling of course, is different than your actual mother. With the other 'moms' , the kids probably feel they can confide more or just be more like friends- for one, even if that mom tells Janelle whatever, that mom isn't going to tell them Ok, now you are on restriction or likely otherwise discipline them, at least in any serious way, she would leave that up to the bio-mom I would think. In the bus scene, one of J's kids was sleeping on her, one of the boys but don't know which one. Just because Janelle isn't super-drama on the show doesn't mean she is cold. Maybe people think that because she doesn't cry at every little thing or squeal etc.

Oh and here's a little bonus, an interview with a woman author who has a Phd who studies plyg families.  It struck me as sad that one of the opening remarks about some of the good things about plyg life was something to the effect of, 'well if the husband is abusive, there's more people to hold him accountable or make him stop'. 

 

Not sure it would really work that way in all cases- wouldn't they all be scared and possibly not help each other being afraid they would be next if they did? Anyway, it was sort of interesting. You could tell the host, not the interviewee isn't part of this lifestyle and sounded more like she was doing a school report. Meri is mentioned at the beginning of the show as someone who is not part of the compound cult, like they are holding her up as an example of 'I chose this, I wanted this, this works for me, it's all about choices' type thing. The Dr on the show brought up some good points about why some of these situations do better than others (female interdependence say with kids or jobs, the man not playing favorites etc) The show is dated 5/2015.

 

http://www.podcastchart.com/podcasts/year-of-polygamy-podcast/episodes/episode-96-polygamy-as-feminist-with-dr-janet-bennion

[Snarklepuss]

I feel sorry for Meri that she got catfished and that she's being humiliated so publicly. No one deserves that. But I can't get on board with blaming Kody for her actions. If she was lonely and feeling emotionally abandoned, she should have told Kody. If he responded in a way that she didn't like, she had two choices - stay and be unhappy or leave. Cheating on your husband - emotional or otherwise - is not the answer. Sorry if I'm coming across as sanctimonious, but even if you dislike Kody and think he's not a good husband, he doesn't deserve to be cheated on. It's not fair to blame him for her bad choice. He's not a perfect husband or person, but she chose him and chose to stay with him. She chose the lifestyle that divided his time and affection. If it no longer worked for her, she should have left (BEFORE starting another relationship). Being a "bad" husband isn't reason in my eyes to be cheated on. Reason to leave, yes; reason to cheat, no. I know most of you will disagree, but I feel sorry for Kody. For being cheated on and for some people blaming him.

edit to add: I know they didn't have actual sex, but I consider an emotional affair and phone sex (ew) cheating.

 

Sorry, but I have a hard time describing what Meri thought she was doing with "Sam" as "cheating" when Kod-asshole is sleeping with a different woman every night.  Just because he calls it "marriage" doesn't legitimize what he's doing in my eyes.  I agree that she shouldn't have gone behind his or any of their backs because she did take her own sort of vows to remain faithful to the "family" but honestly, any guy that practices polygamy in this day and age deserves anything he gets from these women.  JMHO.

[Alapaki]

Meri is mentioned at the beginning of the show as someone who is not part of the compound cult, like they are holding her up as an example of 'I chose this, I wanted this, this works for me, it's all about choices' type thing.

 

 

I'm not so sure about this.  IMO, in order to believe that being one of many wives in a plural marriage is a desirable lifestyle, a woman would have to have been steeped in some pretty heavy-duty patriarchal stew, whether cultural or religious.  Without knowing what kind of number Meri's (and the others') families did on them when they were growing up, I have a hard time condemning them as having "made a free choice."

 

Also I think that, in addition to the patriarchal brainwashing, some extent of isolation is necessary in order for wives in a plural marriage to stay on the reservation (so to speak).  

 

Getting a taste of the "outside world", and seeing that there are normal men, who are more than happy to devote their lives to a single woman, and who don't speak as though everything they fucking say is coming from the Oracle of Delphi, makes them see that there are other options.

[Snarklepuss]

I personally don't agree with the Browns' belief system, however I don't think that people's religious beliefs should be discounted and trivialized just because they don't align with our own.

 

I don't agree with you.  I specialized in ethics in college (not that this makes me an expert or anything) but I consider your view a form of values relativism that ends up holding all views as valid for fear of not giving others their rights to their beliefs.  But I think you can give others their right to their beliefs and still not agree with them and voice that disagreement in pretty much any way you want.  I think that's the whole purpose of religious ethics - to NOT believe that all values are valid.  If your religion says murder is OK, should I not discount or put down your belief just because it's your belief even though it's not mine?  No.  Obviously there is a higher set of values here at work over and above anyone's particular religious beliefs.

 

That said, I personally don't see the Brown's version of polygamy as healthy for the women involved.  Does that mean I think polygamy is wrong?  No, maybe not morally 'wrong", but not normally a healthy form of relationship.  In my opinion.  I don't care if the Browns practice it, let them do what they want.  I don't care if they wouldn't like what I said about it either, too bad.  I'm sure they've put down my religion and my religious beliefs a whole lot in their time.

[BlackWidow]

Sorry, but I have a hard time describing what Meri thought she was doing with "Sam" as "cheating" when Kod-asshole is sleeping with a different woman every night.  Just because he calls it "marriage" doesn't legitimize what he's doing in my eyes.  I agree that she shouldn't have gone behind his or any of their backs because she did take her own sort of vows to remain faithful to the "family" but honestly, any guy that practices polygamy in this day and age deserves anything he gets from these women.  JMHO.

 

 

  It's interesting to see the reasons why people either sympathize, or partly at least, or don't for Meri. How some see it as wrong in the overall cosmic sense no matter what, some don't see it as wrong at all and a whole lot of middle-ground. I think of how badly Meri must have felt to even get taken in by this to begin with. Maybe this whole plyg thing only works if you actually do love everyone equally and treat everyone great and are transparent (is that even possible?) or you don't really love any of them, thus it's more 'fair' because everyone gets the same minimal blah treatment.

 

I wonder if at times, it even sucks for the man though have to say, it is really hard watching kody try to play the hurt, scorned spouse after all the giddy 'whee!' through the robin courtship, while the other three were either pregnant, eating themselves to death trying to cope and pretend they don't care, or saying 'hey, I know I signed on to this', which can be put other ways, like' I agreed to put up with this for YOU, but I still feel left behind and not as special, not as loved and like your head and heart are somewhere else', while kody and robin are in some air-tram and kody is saying douchebag things like 'see check out the lions, that one's really got some game huh babe? Being just like beasts of the field is awesome!' and romping on the beach while through the other side of his mouth saying ' thinking of you with some other guy? that's just vulgar, can't do it'. Picks out the wedding dress for one, melts down the wedding ring for the other. Horrible.

[luckykat]

  It's interesting to see the reasons why people either sympathize, or partly at least, or don't for Meri.

 

I feel kind of bad that she was so naive and trusting of strangers.  I mean, I'm scratching my head trying to figure out how she so desperately fell in love with someone she'd never met.  Many of my friends and I have braved the online dating world; none of us would ever trust someone we met online without meeting them - in person - and doing a whole lot of due diligence on them.  If she had done even a modicum of due diligence - or even insisted on meeting in person -  she would have quickly realized something was amiss.

 

I chalk it up to her desperation, naivete and extreme loneliness.  I can't say I'm a huge fan of hers (I really did not like the wet bar/french doors saga), but part of me feels bad for anyone who is obviously so lonely and so sad.

[laurakaye]

What I have a hard time understanding is Meri's grasp of social media.  As a public figure, how could she think even for one second that the intimate pictures she was sharing were going to be safe, when she hadn't even met the person she was sending them to?  Part of me cannot believe her naivete.  On the other hand, I also think she was so desperately lonely and sad that she probably wasn't thinking clearly, and the rush she was getting from sending those pictures outweighed the consequences.

 

Thinking back on her couch sessions when she was so clearly miserable, I am starting to wonder if on those days, she'd had a fight with "Sam," or maybe hadn't heard from him, and sitting on that couch listening to Christine yammer and Robyn cry was taking her away from her precious online time.  And the times when she seemed to do a 180 and was chipper and buoyant, perhaps she'd just talked to "Sam" and they were plotting her escape.

[BlackWidow]

I'm not so sure about this.  IMO, in order to believe that being one of many wives in a plural marriage is a desirable lifestyle, a woman would have to have been steeped in some pretty heavy-duty patriarchal stew, whether cultural or religious.  Without knowing what kind of number Meri's (and the others') families did on them when they were growing up, I have a hard time condemning them as having "made a free choice."

 

Also I think that, in addition to the patriarchal brainwashing, some extent of isolation is necessary in order for wives in a plural marriage to stay on the reservation (so to speak).  

 

Getting a taste of the "outside world", and seeing that there are normal men, who are more than happy to devote their lives to a single woman, and who don't speak as though everything they fucking say is coming from the Oracle of Delphi, makes them see that there are other options.

 

  It's funny how because they don't dress as the flds people, some of us may have thought oh these women knew what this was all about, knew about other kinds of families, or were even old enough to know what the hell they wanted.  From how we saw them at the beginning of the show till now, it does sort of look like there isn't an easy way to deal with the jealousy, the equal treatment and time (or lack thereof) and how even though the man is outnumbered, that doesn't guarantee the women necessarily band together- in fact, I noticed early on, there seemed to be this weird parent/child dynamic going on where the women sort of play up to and look for approval from the man like a child would,sulk and cry when it doesn't work and compete almost like siblings would for attention and equality of time w them and their kids, gifts 'she got this kind of design for her necklace, I like hers better!' But it appears it is all left to the man to solve this, as if he is some kind of beneficent king , doling out little scraps of pats on the head, an odd compliment here and there, or worse, what was discussed in the catfish thing, giving or withholding affection..'well you've been a good girl this week, so maybe I can find some time for you (or give you some, etc).' Hence, to some degree, they have all been catfished.

 

I'm loathe to say it, but even robin, whom I believe on some early show said something like "I like to see him happy with the other wives and treating them well, it means he will treat me well'. Not sure if this is always the case, but I think at some point she said something like that, someone correct me if Im thinking of someone else.

 

But let's just say hypothetically, even if she talks like a 2nd grader and has other annoying traits, that she thought kody really did love the others, that she did at some point think and want him to treat them all equally, even if it was somewhat self-motivated in the sense of if he treats them well, he will treat her well and everyone is happy (well happy enough I suppose). Well she didn't get that, did she?

 

Because he didn't, because he continues to blow off Christine eve in therapy, he didn't acknowledge Meri when they were in Mexico when she was feeling left out and neglected- because Janelle at some point even said something like "I thought I was ok with it, but I've had problems with this too, I care more than I thought I did'  I bet that Robin lost out on being buddies with them, doesn't feel great about asking them for help with the kids, that it isn't the perfect plyg scenario for her and probably always has some doubts when any of them are nice to her, that they are doing it because kody told them to or because (some) of their kids are related, and not because they sincerely want to have a sw relationship with her- that is not the same as a real, close, trusting friendship.

 

But does kody care that yes, it isn't ALL on the women to just 'get over it' or 'deal with it' or 'fake it till ya make it' ? Kinda seems like he doesn't care, as long as HE's happy. So in that sense, robin doesn't 'win'- she isn't in an actual mono marriage with him whether or not he is intimate with them, and she has to deal with them probably resenting her.

[luckykat]

What I have a hard time understanding is Meri's grasp of social media.  As a public figure, how could she think even for one second that the intimate pictures she was sharing were going to be safe, when she hadn't even met the person she was sending them to?

 

She was extremely foolish and utterly reckless for doing this.  She risked the embarrassment and humiliation not only of herself, but even worse, of her daughter and the other children.

 

Also, my take on the whole dinner scene in Alaska is that at this point in time she was still in love with "Sam" and was laying the groundwork for her escape.  I didn't buy that she was pulling away from the family in order to protect them as she claimed in her individual interview.  I think that's a bit of convenient revisionism. 

Edited November 17, 2015 by luckykat

[ghoulina]

I chalk it up to her desperation, naivete and extreme loneliness.  I can't say I'm a huge fan of hers (I really did not like the wet bar/french doors saga), but part of me feels bad for anyone who is obviously so lonely and so sad.

 

I really do think it was extreme loneliness and the insecurity of being cast off for Robyn. Meri said several times that there were "holes" and "red flags". But she didn't want to see them. Someone was paying her tons of attention, so she went into denial land and reveled in it until the rug was pulled out from under her.

[BlackWidow]

What I have a hard time understanding is Meri's grasp of social media.  As a public figure, how could she think even for one second that the intimate pictures she was sharing were going to be safe, when she hadn't even met the person she was sending them to?  Part of me cannot believe her naivete.  On the other hand, I also think she was so desperately lonely and sad that she probably wasn't thinking clearly, and the rush she was getting from sending those pictures outweighed the consequences.

 

Thinking back on her couch sessions when she was so clearly miserable, I am starting to wonder if on those days, she'd had a fight with "Sam," or maybe hadn't heard from him, and sitting on that couch listening to Christine yammer and Robyn cry was taking her away from her precious online time.  And the times when she seemed to do a 180 and was chipper and buoyant, perhaps she'd just talked to "Sam" and they were plotting her escape.

 

         It's probably even bigger than just 'Sam', on some level whether or not he was real is  irrelevant in the sense that maybe she had started to value herself,  maybe it had been that long since she felt good about herself, that someone else had told her she was worth something, that someone else had wanted to spend time with her, messaging or otherwise, that she had started to think about her own self-worth differently. I hope that part did stick, as it is useful and valuable separately from 'was Sam real or not', her own re-evaluation of herself, and feeling worthy. In that sense, it is better that the catfish was not real, as it makes her having to keep those good feelings she had about herself independent of someone else 'bestowing' them.

 

The understanding of what 'loyalty' has more than one meaning. I felt like kody had left her in the cold and was 'disloyal' emotionally not only to Meri but the original 3 where his priorities were during the courtship period, whether or not the 0-3 were able to get their heads around this because of the brainwashing of 'I signed up for this' story- The fact they signed up for it doesn't negate one's right to be heard,to be loved, to not be ignored or put down or have one's voice silenced with the ' you wanted this, you knew what you were getting into'. That was probably a huge difficulty with the O-3 as they had a hard time separating these two things. The 0-3 made a huge leap being 'loyal' to him but did he do the same? Obviously this is more than just about 'did she screw around or not, was Sam real or not?' Even if she had, that doesn't take away from his emotional disloyalty to the rest.

[laurakaye]

I have a feeling that Kody was the prized child in his family.  His parents loved and stroked him above the others.  In his younger pictures, he comes across as a self-confident cat-eating-the-canary type of person.  He wants to be noticed and demands it whenever he can.  For a wallflower-type girl like Meri, I can see the draw.  And then came the chasing - Janelle, followed by Christine, and Robyn (although she was chasing the idea of the almighty dollar as well).  Kody reminds me of a cheating politician who does wrong but never comprehends his role in things.  It can't be my fault - look, everyone loves me!

 

At this point I don't know if the concept of his role in his wives' collective unhappiness could even enter his thick skull.  He's confronted by their unhappiness on a daily basis, but I really think if one wife gives him grief, he just skips on over to the next house and sees what's cooking there.  So I'm sure the wives have learned to manage their unhappiness to a point, but one can only bury so much pain before it comes spilling out for all to see.

Edited November 17, 2015 by laurakaye

[Galloway Cave]

 

Maybe this whole plyg thing only works if you actually do love everyone equally and treat everyone great and are transparent (is that even possible?) or you don't really love any of them, thus it's more 'fair' because everyone gets the same minimal blah treatment.

In reading about most plyg sects, it is the latter. The folks on Polygamy USA also said the same thing. They don't marry for love, they marry for religion and their prophet or leader. They marry to get to heaven and to give spirit babies a place on earth. The men marry for power and control. In the plyg town I lived in, they married for both love and religion, and the women were still miserable. There is no way a woman can expect to have a monogamous marriage within a polygamous situation and be happy, fulfilled and satisfied. Of course the man can be all those things because his attention is divided (not multiplied) and he can ignore the various messes he makes as he moves from home to home.

[Absolom]

Catfishing brings ratings:  2.249 M viewers and a .7 rating.

[Madding crowd]

According to the Browns' belief system, Kody is not cheating and he and Meri are married. So according to the Browns' truth, Meri emotionally cheated.

Meri said herself in her talking head that she was married and had these feelings for someone else.

I personally don't agree with the Browns' belief system, however I don't think that people's religious beliefs should be discounted and trivialized just because they don't align with our own.

We all have our own belief systems and it would trivialize my own beliefs and faith to say I agree with Kody having multiple wives. I don't and I don't think he should have divorced his legal wife if he expected her to remain faithful. I believe everyone should have the freedom to celebrate their faith how they want, but I don't have to agree with it. I'm Catholic and I hear comments against Catholics nearly every day. We are all coming from different places.

[CofCinci]

Catfishing brings ratings: 2.249 M viewers and a .7 rating.

Double the ratings. The Browns will be able to secure another year and pay their terrible mortgages.

[RazzleberryPie]

I will never feel sorry for Kody as long as he continues to 'cheat' by having sex with multiple women. If he was just married to Meri, yes it would be emotional cheating. He divorced Meri so I think she can do what she wants.

Except Meri is still 'spiritually' married to Kody. In their church, it's as legit of a marriage as a legal one, so Kody is not cheating, because he is keeping all romantic activity inside his marriage(s). Their beliefs aren't 'tit for tat' or equal.

 

I feel kind of bad that she was so naive and trusting of strangers.  I mean, I'm scratching my head trying to figure out how she so desperately fell in love with someone she'd never met.  Many of my friends and I have braved the online dating world; none of us would ever trust someone we met online without meeting them - in person - and doing a whole lot of due diligence on them.  If she had done even a modicum of due diligence - or even insisted on meeting in person -  she would have quickly realized something was amiss.

 

I chalk it up to her desperation, naivete and extreme loneliness.  I can't say I'm a huge fan of hers (I really did not like the wet bar/french doors saga), but part of me feels bad for anyone who is obviously so lonely and so sad.

I don't think she was sooo trusting, but that she is now painting the picture, after she was caught, of being a little lost lamb who was preyed upon by a big bad wolf. Desperate, yes. Lonely, yes. Trusting too much, yes., but she really liked the danger of playing fast and loose, and it bit her in the butt.

 

What I have a hard time understanding is Meri's grasp of social media.  As a public figure, how could she think even for one second that the intimate pictures she was sharing were going to be safe, when she hadn't even met the person she was sending them to?  Part of me cannot believe her naivete.  On the other hand, I also think she was so desperately lonely and sad that she probably wasn't thinking clearly, and the rush she was getting from sending those pictures outweighed the consequences.

 

I think Meri understands social media far more than she's letting on. I also think when she said she met the guy "on social media" and he found out info about her "from online" she was all but saying he knew about her from ON THE SHOW, but backtracked. Can't break that fourth wall or whatever. 

 

She was extremely foolish and utterly reckless for doing this.  She risked the embarrassment and humiliation not only of herself, but even worse, of her daughter and the other children.

 

Also, my take on the whole dinner scene in Alaska is that at this point in time she was still in love with "Sam" and was laying the groundwork for her escape.  I didn't buy that she was pulling away from the family in order to protect them as she claimed in her individual interview.  I think that's a bit of convenient revisionism. 

She was foolish and reckless, and she's paying for it. I think she really wanted to run off into the sunset with Mr. Right, and rub it into Kody and Co.'s face that she won. She got a better guy who was richer, cuter, nicer, etc., and they were really going to regret mistreating her when she's gone. That's childish, but human, and we've all had those revenge fantasies against someone who did us wrong. 

 

I agree with you on the dinner scene, too. I think she was trying to be daring and mysterious, and tempting her audience (family and cameras), that 'she knew something they didn't know,' and they better be nice to her or she'd leave. I think she really overestimated her relationship worth to the family, because they didn't seem to care if she left or not. Robyn all but volunteered to toss her clothes in a Hefty bag and roll them both to the curb.

 

I think she was half tempting them to fall on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and beg her to stay, but they didn't. The way she vaguely worded dealing with "stuff", one day she might be "gone" - she was begging them to show some emotion. Janelle was the only one who really seemed sympathetic. Kody just dead stared, and I really think he did not/does not understand how his actions made Meri so miserable.  Christine just wanted to steady the waters and find a way to not put the blame on polygamy or the family, and Robyn was ready to kick Meri out then and there. 

 

Meri was cowardly to have this table scene on camera, where they couldn't really, fully react, but I give her some leeway there. It's terrifying to tell your family you're leaving for another man. I get that. It's also cowardly, IMO, to stay in a miserable situation and scope out your next relationship, without your family having much of a clue that you're leaving.

[Madding crowd]

It really doesn't matter what we believe. It matters what they believe. It's their religion's rules that were broken. Icthink that our rules are irrelevant in this situation.

But my opinion does matter to me and this whole forum is just that, people's opinions. We discuss what we like and don't like and no one is forced to match their opinion to the person being discussed. A lot of you think Meri is unattractive, if she and Kody disagree are you wrong?

[zenme]

No. Never. ; )

Edited November 18, 2015 by zenme

[mythoughtis]

I don't believe Meri cheated - because I don't consider anyone but Robyn and Kody married.  Married to me requires recognition by the USA.   Polygamy is not considered a legal definition of marriage.     Furthermore, they seem to believe in legal marriage when it suits them... as it suited them when Robyn and Kody married.  Spiritual marriage wasn't good enough for them then was it?  Spiritual marriage doesn't get them legal benefits. 

 

I also don't consider them spiritually married because I don't believe in such as thing as spiritual marriage or their religion. They may consider them selves bound to each other, but I don't.  Therefore I don't see anything wrong with what Meri did because to me, she's not married.... and I do see a whole lot wrong with what Kody has done for 20+ years, because he is married.    If they really wanted their marriages recognized as binding unions here on earth, they would have moved to a country that recognizes polygamy.  They didn't. So until they do, then their 'marriages' aren't real in my lexicon. 

Edited November 18, 2015 by mythoughtis

[tabloidlover]

But this is most likely his last daughter, who comes at a time when he realizes he doesn't have any relationships with his other biodaughters. He might put everything into the relationship with this baby. Finally a "Daddy's Little Girl."

Totally agree!  This will be the female   "chosen one".  Not a doubt in my mind.  Just look how he interacts with Robyn's daughters  from.another.man.  

[leighroda]

I have a feeling that Kody was the prized child in his family. His parents loved and stroked him above the others. In his younger pictures, he comes across as a self-confident cat-eating-the-canary type of person. He wants to be noticed and demands it whenever he can. For a wallflower-type girl like Meri, I can see the draw. And then came the chasing - Janelle, followed by Christine, and Robyn (although she was chasing the idea of the almighty dollar as well). Kody reminds me of a cheating politician who does wrong but never comprehends his role in things. It can't be my fault - look, everyone loves me!

At this point I don't know if the concept of his role in his wives' collective unhappiness could even enter his thick skull. He's confronted by their unhappiness on a daily basis, but I really think if one wife gives him grief, he just skips on over to the next house and sees what's cooking there. So I'm sure the wives have learned to manage their unhappiness to a point, but one can only bury so much pain before it comes spilling out for all to see.

I'm not sure I remember right, but hasn't he said his dad was actually really hard on him? I vaguely remember a story about coveralls as a Christmas gift when Kody wanted some toy (as a teen), that doesn't necessarily mean he was the golden child, his dad could have been hard on all the kids, but I feel like I remember him saying he didn't get along well with his dad (he still could have been a mamas boy).

[SometimesBites]

I'm not sure I remember right, but hasn't he said his dad was actually really hard on him? I vaguely remember a story about coveralls as a Christmas gift when Kody wanted some toy (as a teen), that doesn't necessarily mean he was the golden child, his dad could have been hard on all the kids, but I feel like I remember him saying he didn't get along well with his dad (he still could have been a mamas boy).

Kody wanted some special jacket--a letterman's jacket maybe??--and his dad gave him the coveralls in a box from the store that sold said coveted jacket. Kody thought he was getting what he wanted at first, then was terribly disappointed. A dickish move on his dad's part, to be sure, but you know...cry me a river.

Finding out the thing in the pretty package is not what you thought it was when you get it unwrapped is the story of his wives' lives.

[Pachengala]

I think Meri totally cheated because against the framework of their beliefs she did, and I STILL don't care. Kody is an asshole and a douche and he deserved it. He deserves worse, in fact. I just wish she could have gotten all the way out, and then thrown a lifeline to Janelle.

[leighroda]

Kody wanted some special jacket--a letterman's jacket maybe??--and his dad gave him the coveralls in a box from the store that sold said coveted jacket. Kody thought he was getting what he wanted at first, then was terribly disappointed. A dickish move on his dad's part, to be sure, but you know...cry me a river.

Finding out the thing in the pretty package is not what you thought it was when you get it unwrapped is the story of his wives' lives.

That's right! In my head I thought it was some kind of gadget or something but you're right it was the letter jacket... I just remembered him telling the story he was trying to make it a sweet moment, but also show the dickish move on his dad's part as kind of a passive aggressive jab.

[BlackWidow]

In reading about most plyg sects, it is the latter. The folks on Polygamy USA also said the same thing. They don't marry for love, they marry for religion and their prophet or leader. They marry to get to heaven and to give spirit babies a place on earth. The men marry for power and control. In the plyg town I lived in, they married for both love and religion, and the women were still miserable. There is no way a woman can expect to have a monogamous marriage within a polygamous situation and be happy, fulfilled and satisfied. Of course the man can be all those things because his attention is divided (not multiplied) and he can ignore the various messes he makes as he moves from home to home.

 

   The way you tell it, it sounds like either way, love or religion, or both, you lose no matter what.

Not that I'm saying this isn't accurate, only that if you do love the man, you're going to hurt,  and if you don't, that probably sucks as well, whether in either scenario he loves you. Hence we get back to the multiply/divide quandry-which sure looks like he 'gets' to love everyone and you 'have' to 'love' i.e. put up with everyone (else).

 

This reminds me of Christine saying she wanted to be 'third' (maybe in her mind, she meant 'last'?) because she said it was the 'easiest', which to me sounds like she didn't care about being 'boss lady' , and didn't want to be the first 'added' to the mix, aka second. It's almost as though she thought of the first two as manager and assistant manager, and though she was getting 'paid' the same, she didn't want the role or responsibility of those other two positions even though she had the very tough job of being the stay-home mom to all those kids for years. Aside from all the emotional and jealousy stuff, now that there are four, it sort of shifts everyone's position and I can see how she might have felt something akin to the employee that has to train the next person for a job they used to have.

 

I kind of got the vibe as the show went on that Meri was sort of like the ex-wife that is still friends with benefits,like there was still some love, but basically bored with each other- Janelle was like the ex-gf, maybe with benefits if they got drunk randomly, and Christine was like the on/off again gf depending on whether they were liking or hating each other that week. I hope Mariah stands by her mom through all this, it was so weird at that table scene where Meri was eating at a separate table and kody gave that 'thanks everyone for coming' speech to family. If he meant that towards the kids' gf and bf, wouldn't he just say it directly to them?

 

Oh well, what isn't weird when it comes to them? Maybe they can find yet another storyline from Big Love to copy -the adoption/divorce was a BL story, there was the Margene almost having a thing with the goji juice guy, there was the Nikki 'my creepy ex on the compound' story, the will Barb have a ok medical test story, the I lost my job because I was outed as a plyg story, the adding a new wife that one of the wives is friends with, etc etc).

[Galloway Cave]

 

The way you tell it, it sounds like either way, love or religion, or both, you lose no matter what.

Yes. In other words, polygamy sucks for women, no matter what their motivation. ;)

A good friend of mine in town started out in polygamy, had three wives and he gave it up because he said it was too painful for the women involved. He just couldn't do that to them. He is still married to one of his wives many years later.

[riverblue22]

So the catfish storyline boosted their ratings and saved their show for another season.  What's next?  Meri could leave and set off in her own direction but I don't see that happening.  The next season could show the family "saving" Meri from her desperation.  Kody will be all lovey towards her and spends more time with her.  She and Janelle go on a vacation with the therapist. Christine asks Meri to help her get organized at home and decorate her house.  Meri visits Mariah at school and they are filmed "having fun."  And the theme will be, see how great polygamy is--when someone is hurting the rest of us pull together to save them! 

[laurakaye]

Yes. In other words, polygamy sucks for women, no matter what their motivation. ;)

A good friend of mine in town started out in polygamy, had three wives and he gave it up because he said it was too painful for the women involved. He just couldn't do that to them. He is still married to one of his wives many years later.

And if Kody showed any type of empathy and compassion towards his wives, we all might be having a very different discussion.  But he has been shown time and time again that he disregards his wives' feelings.  Yes, the show is heavily edited and I'm sure tons of footage ends up on the cutting room floor, but to my recollection, there has never been an instance of Kody ever taking one wife aside and asking her how he could help, or what he could do to make things better.  Even when he does "try" (and I use that term loosely), as in when he took Christine and a bus full of counselors to Galveston, he pretended to try and work with Christine but in reality, he was never going to budge from his pedestal.  He's mastered the art of pretending to be an involved father and husband to all the wives and children, but he is really only devoted to Robyn and her kids (and King Sol).  The rest is hair-fluffing and window dressing.

[SometimesBites]

Yes. In other words, polygamy sucks for women, no matter what their motivation. ;)

A good friend of mine in town started out in polygamy, had three wives and he gave it up because he said it was too painful for the women involved. He just couldn't do that to them. He is still married to one of his wives many years later.

Now see, this is a plot turn that would make the SW ratings soar. Can someone send the Browns on a road trip to visit your friend--STAT?

[toodles]

Among the many other atrocities of this lifestyle, the double standard is off the charts. It's not ok for meri to have an online romance ( however ill advised) but kody can chase whatever tail catches his eye and call it courting? Why oh why would anyone sign up for this?

[Zahdii]

...This reminds me of Christine saying she wanted to be 'third' (maybe in her mind, she meant 'last'?) because she said it was the 'easiest', which to me sounds like she didn't care about being 'boss lady' , and didn't want to be the first 'added' to the mix, aka second. It's almost as though she thought of the first two as manager and assistant manager, and though she was getting 'paid' the same, she didn't want the role or responsibility of those other two positions even though she had the very tough job of being the stay-home mom to all those kids for years...

 

I agree that Christine said she wanted to be the third wife, and probably felt that she would be the last wife.  But I think that she didn't want to be the first wife because she knew that she wouldn't be able to deal with watching her husband add another wife into the mix. 

 

The first wife may get the legal status of being married in the eyes of the law, but I've heard that she's also supposed to vet other women who want to join up.  It's like a man telling his wife that he's going to add a mistress, and she should help him pick out a good one.  The first wife gets the husband all to herself for a time, then she has to deal with having her husband 'marry' another woman, and she's suddenly supposed to be happy about getting her time with her husband cut in half, and expected to form a loving bond with the other woman.  The first wife is also supposed to set up the schedule for what nights the man spends with each wife, but also keep in mind that the husband is going to want more time at first with the mistress.  Add in scheduling extra time when one of the wives is trying to become pregnant, rearrange things if the mistress is having health problems, or is wanting to spend her birthday with her man, or has just had a baby, etc.

 

Christine must also have seen that the first addition (second wife) is problematic.  The sniping and the power struggle as both women are jockeying for position and perks isn't something that Christine wanted to deal with.

 

In Christine's view, by the time the third wife is added, the first two are too tired to fight about it anymore.  She gets to define her own role, depending on what the first two wives are doing.  For Christine, she probably saw herself as a cheerful, uncomplicated woman who would avoid entering the battle with Meri and Janelle by befriending both.  She'd take care of the kids of the other two whenever necessary, and I think she enjoyed the role.  Let the other women fight it out, Christine felt safe in that Meri and Janelle were focused on their own battles while she took care of the kids and provided a safe place for Kody to land when the infighting became too intense. 

 

This worked out for the most part for what, 16 years?  Sure, Janelle left for a couple of years.  She lived on her own, got an education and a job, then Kody talked her back into the fold.  Janelle came back, financed the building the the plyg house where no wife would have to share a kitchen or spend any time with each other if they didn't want to, and things were good.  Meri's inability to have another child after Mariah was still a sticking point, especially since Janelle and Christine were pumping kids out regularly, but they were making do.

 

For Christine, things got bad when the family started negotiations with TLC for a show about polygamy.  An established poly family living in boring harmony in boring Utah wasn't quite enough.  Suddenly there was talk about how much more interesting the story would be if a new wife was added to shake things up.  I think that bringing Robyn on board was what solidified the deal with TLC.  Suddenly Robyn was a major player, and Christine had to deal with the panicked jealousy that Meri and Janelle had had to deal with many years before.

 

Then Kody made up the over the top claim about how he was going to be arrested because they'd been outed as polygamists and insisted on a sudden move in the night to Las Vegas.  I don't know how Christine would believe that crap, since she'd been working for years to have polygamy legitimized in Utah.  (It's really the only thing she's done that made me think she was brighter than she appeared, considering her pathological fear of toasters.)  How it must have hurt Christine when Kody flatly told her she was welcome to stay behind, but he and the other women were moving.  So they crept out in the night, and were suddenly living in separate homes.  It must have been quite a shock, especially since the other women seemed fine with it, and the school aged kids were attending public school. 

 

Then someone suggested writing a book about their lives.  As I understand it, each wife and Kody told their story separately and none of the adults knew just what the others had said until they read the book.  Christine had to find out that her husband was disgusted by her appearance by reading about the nacho story in a book.  What a horrible thing to discover, especially since she had already found out that Kody took Robyn shopping for Robyn's wedding dress, and saw on TV that he was at Robyn's house when he found out that Christine was in labor with her last child, but couldn't leave right away because he had to go back to give Robyn more kisses so she wouldn't miss him too much after he left.

 

Christine's been reduced to begging and bargaining with Kody to visit their children, probably hoping that he'd eventually want to spend some private time with her.  The closest she's come was when they went on a fantastic vacation to the shores of Texas, and he brought a 'marriage counselor' with them.  Christine didn't see that the counselor was just a buffer, so he wouldn't have to really act as a husband towards her.  Kody used the time to drill into her head that if she wants to hang with him, she'd have to stop thinking of herself and think of the 'family'.  I don't know if Christine consciously realized that Kody meant the family he spoke of was him and Robyn, but she's been glued to Robyn ever since.  Chrisine's now the most desperate and pathetic cheerleader ever, and still hoping that Kody will at least <i>like</i> her someday.

 

Note to Christine:  the more you try, the more Kody will despise you.  He's just not into you.  He never was, but now that Robyn's in the picture, he tolerates you because you feed both of their egos.  What he really wants is for you to retreat to your house, keep your kids from bothering him, show up when told to do so and do what they want you to do.  Do your task with a sweet smile, don't talk unless spoken to, and keep it short and to the point.  Then slip quietly back home and wait for the next time you're called upon to serve the king and queen.

[egilsdottir]

Just watched this episode last night. I can't believe that Maddie is already so serious with Caleb, but I like him. He's very calm and basically the complete opposite of showboat Kody. When Caleb was attempting to show "the fahhhhmily" how to fillet salmon, Kody kept flitting in and out in front of him, flipping his ridiculous hair and basically trying to insert himself into the middle of things, because people were paying attention to someone other than King Kody. God forbid!

 

I also noticed that when Logan asked his girlfriend and Caleb what they thought of Kody, Caleb said nothing and Logan's gf said, "he's SO funny!" I can only imagine that Kody's need to show off reaches new heights whenever one of his sons brings around a young, attractive girlfriend. How gross for the girls, and how embarrassing for the sons. Kody is much more reserved when his daughters bring around boyfriends, squinting at them through his dead shark eyes and warning them that they will exchange "harmones" if they kiss each other.

 

Someone already pointed out that Caleb had to ask Robyn's daughters to leave so he could talk with Kody about Maddie. Dear lord. Those two girls are like Manson girls, sitting at the throne of their leader. It's so disturbing.

 

Meri, Meri, Meri. There's almost no words. Christine is dissociating herself from Meri because she knows Meri's catfish situation will piss Kody off, and she's trying desperately to make her own "marriage" with him work. Robyn couldn't be happier that Meri screwed up, Kody doesn't seem to care, and Janelle is the only one who seems to care a little. Get a job, a small apartment and figure out what you want to do with your life, Mer. You're still young and there are many possible paths. You don't need a safety net (aka a man, or a fake man). It's tough but you can do it. And put down that self tanner, girl.

[laurakaye]

 

Note to Christine:  the more you try, the more Kody will despise you.  He's just not into you.  He never was, but now that Robyn's in the picture, he tolerates you because you feed both of their egos.  What he really wants is for you to retreat to your house, keep your kids from bothering him, show up when told to do so and do what they want you to do.  Do your task with a sweet smile, don't talk unless spoken to, and keep it short and to the point.  Then slip quietly back home and wait for the next time you're called upon to serve the king and queen.

APPLAUSE.  Great post!

 

Obviously I have no clue what goes on inside the mind of Kody Brown, nor do I ever want to know.  His non-interest in Christine has always baffled me, though.  Obviously some people just do not have chemistry, but she was a cute, bubbly blonde, from a plyg family, was clearly great with all of the kids when they were little (as evidenced by the real love the older kids seem to have for Christine now), and most of all - she fed Kody's ego by chasing him until he caught her.  As you pointed out, she probably provided Kody some much-needed relief when his first two wives were going at each other, and I'm sure she was happy to drop whatever she was doing to wait on him.  And yet, he really seems to not only not be attracted to her, but to actively resent her.  I don't get it.

 

I'm trying to remember what he was like with her at the very beginning of the show, but there was precious little time for us to see that relationship before Robyn sniffed the money and came around, at which time Christine began the years of being ignored and passed over, time and time again.

Edited November 18, 2015 by laurakaye

[ghoulina]

Someone already pointed out that Caleb had to ask Robyn's daughters to leave so he could talk with Kody about Maddie. Dear lord. Those two girls are like Manson girls, sitting at the throne of their leader. It's so disturbing.

 

Holy crap, I just almost choked on a cracker! Disturbing is right, because that description really fits. 

 

Meri, Meri, Meri. There's almost no words. Christine is dissociating herself from Meri because she knows Meri's catfish situation will piss Kody off, and she's trying desperately to make her own "marriage" with him work.

 

Meri's catfish situation is the best thing that ever happened to Christine. "You think *I'M* not committed enough to the family??? Look what Meri freaking did!"

[laurakaye]

 

Meri's catfish situation is the best thing that ever happened to Christine. "You think *I'M* not committed enough to the family??? Look what Meri freaking did!"

THIS.  The wives talk a great talk about how freaking awesome it is to have sister-wives, and us ignorant monogamists would NEVER understand what we're missing.  However - you'd better not slip and fall, because your lovely sister-wives are going to use you as a stepping stool to reach more of Kody's crumbs.  I have no doubt that schadenfreude plays a daily role in the lives of each wife. 

[BlackWidow]

Holy crap, I just almost choked on a cracker! Disturbing is right, because that description really fits. 

 

 

 

 

Meri's catfish situation is the best thing that ever happened to Christine. "You think *I'M* not committed enough to the family??? Look what Meri freaking did!"

 

 This is exactly the creepy sibling dynamic/attitude I was talking about 'she did something worse than me, so why do I only get 2 cookies and not three, I'm not the one in trouble yadda yadda..'

It might not be "the best thing that ever happened" because again, it upsets the whole family dynamic.

 

As other posters have stated as well, I also am not sure whether these women or any women in these arrangements have each other's backs or it is every woman for herself type thing, no matter how many little facebook poster platitudes they put up trying to make it sound  like 'I've got your back', how can any of them be sure it is real or just to keep up appearances, and eve then, would they pretend to be more ok or less ok depending on ratings or the direction of the producers? Man that would be so creepy.

 

Likely Janelle and Christine are hedging their bets, trying to balance being superficially supportive outwardly, but also seeing how it affects them and carefully watching king kod to see if being pissed at Meri somehow gets them something. How can any of them trust each other if they all have separate interests, past/present resentments and so on?

[ghoulina]

THIS.  The wives talk a great talk about how freaking awesome it is to have sister-wives, and us ignorant monogamists would NEVER understand what we're missing.  However - you'd better not slip and fall, because your lovely sister-wives are going to use you as a stepping stool to reach more of Kody's crumbs.  I have no doubt that schadenfreude plays a daily role in the lives of each wife.

 

Yup. It's a constant power struggle. And the balance between yourself and your husband is so off. I'm not saying anyone should stay in a relationship out of fear of being alone, but with this marriage, Kody could care less if one of the wives wants to break off. He's got 3 more to fall back on! If you've already given him 6 kids for his planet and have put your ovaries out to pasture, he could take you or leave you. In my marriage, I'm so much more than that to my husband. So even if we were going through a rocky patch, we're invested in making it work. 

[kimaken]

Aren't 3 wives all Kody needs to have his own planet? Now he's got 4--planet's guaranteed! Of course, if 2 wives leave, he'll have to go find another wife to keep that planet---right? Still, Robyn's not far from 40 and won't have that many childbearing years left, so he might be seeking another wife in a few years anyway.

[RedheadZombie]

But this is most likely his last daughter, who comes at a time when he realizes he doesn't have any relationships with his other biodaughters. He might put everything into the relationship with this baby. Finally a "Daddy's Little Girl."

 

I think the reason King Solomon is so celebrated is because he followed a series of girls - no boy had been born in ten years.  As spoiled as Sol seems to some, his siblings (minus Garrison) seem very loving and affectionate to him.  For God's sake, Janelle (whom I've never seen touch another woman's child) had Solomon in her lap this episode. 

 

I think Robyn's girl baby is going to be spoiled beyond belief because she's most likely the last baby.

 

I'm not so sure about this.  IMO, in order to believe that being one of many wives in a plural marriage is a desirable lifestyle, a woman would have to have been steeped in some pretty heavy-duty patriarchal stew, whether cultural or religious.  Without knowing what kind of number Meri's (and the others') families did on them when they were growing up, I have a hard time condemning them as having "made a free choice."

 

I agree.  They are raised to believe this is the only way to achieve the highest level in heaven.  People have done far worse in the name of religion.  In India, Hinduism used the caste system to keep people in line.  So they took shit for a lifetime in the hope they would come back in a higher caste.  Fight the system and you can never raise higher.

 

 From how we saw them at the beginning of the show till now, it does sort of look like there isn't an easy way to deal with the jealousy, the equal treatment and time (or lack thereof) and how even though the man is outnumbered, that doesn't guarantee the women necessarily band together-

 

I don't think jealousy has ever been denied.  I think they see experiencing jealousy as righteous suffering.  It's not an uncommon belief in religion.  Mother Teresa herself believed suffering was a gift, even if it came in the form of starvation and illness.  In fact, she was criticized for taking in millions in charity, and yet having poor health care, food, and pain medication for those in whose name she collected that money.

 

I do think part of Kody's problem is he wasn't raised in polygamy.  He doesn't know how to give his attention equally (or at least not have blatant favorites), and he isn't as aware of the manipulative techniques of his wives.  Girls raised in polygamy learn from early childhood how to manipulate and fight for their share of attention.  I think that's part of the reason Janelle manipulates the least.  Kody is a man who wants to be an alpha male, but he just isn't.  In fact, I find it very interesting how he lets himself get led around by Robyn.   She never hesitates to correct him, criticize him, or undermine him.  He seems to respond to that like a true sub.

 

I have a feeling that Kody was the prized child in his family.  His parents loved and stroked him above the others.  In his younger pictures, he comes across as a self-confident cat-eating-the-canary type of person.  He wants to be noticed and demands it whenever he can.  For a wallflower-type girl like Meri, I can see the draw.  And then came the chasing - Janelle, followed by Christine, and Robyn (although she was chasing the idea of the almighty dollar as well).  Kody reminds me of a cheating politician who does wrong but never comprehends his role in things.  It can't be my fault - look, everyone loves me!

 

From what's been said, I get the definite impression that Kody was his father's least favorite child.  Janelle has all but said that Wynn was a sexist pig.  Men like that often have problems with sons that seem less than masculine.  I personally think that's why Kody was so drawn to polygamy.  First, his parents had just converted and he wanted to please his father by emulating him, but also to prove his masculinity.  His father never came to Kody's wrestling meets.  And the thing about the coveralls - I think it was a deliberate act by his father, and it was really sad to see Kody spinning that gift into a positive learning experience.

 

What I do find possible, is his mother going overboard with affection in an attempt to make up for his father's affection and lack of approval.  It's not uncommon.  I also think that may be why he seems to sympathize so much with Aurora and Brianna.  They were hungry for male affection, and he knows how that feels.

[RazzleberryPie]

Robyn's MANSON GIRLS = You win the Internet. Sad, but spot on accurate. 

I think the reason King Solomon is so celebrated is because he followed a series of girls - no boy had been born in ten years.  As spoiled as Sol seems to some, his siblings (minus Garrison) seem very loving and affectionate to him.  For God's sake, Janelle (whom I've never seen touch another woman's child) had Solomon in her lap this episode. 

 

I think Robyn's girl baby is going to be spoiled beyond belief because she's most likely the last baby.

 

I do think part of Kody's problem is he wasn't raised in polygamy.  He doesn't know how to give his attention equally (or at least not have blatant favorites), and he isn't as aware of the manipulative techniques of his wives.  Girls raised in polygamy learn from early childhood how to manipulate and fight for their share of attention.  I think that's part of the reason Janelle manipulates the least.  Kody is a man who wants to be an alpha male, but he just isn't.  In fact, I find it very interesting how he lets himself get led around by Robyn.   She never hesitates to correct him, criticize him, or undermine him.  He seems to respond to that like a true sub.

 

 

From what's been said, I get the definite impression that Kody was his father's least favorite child.  Janelle has all but said that Wynn was a sexist pig.  Men like that often have problems with sons that seem less than masculine.  I personally think that's why Kody was so drawn to polygamy.  First, his parents had just converted and he wanted to please his father by emulating him, but also to prove his masculinity.  His father never came to Kody's wrestling meets.  And the thing about the coveralls - I think it was a deliberate act by his father, and it was really sad to see Kody spinning that gift into a positive learning experience.

 

What I do find possible, is his mother going overboard with affection in an attempt to make up for his father's affection and lack of approval.  It's not uncommon.  I also think that may be why he seems to sympathize so much with Aurora and Brianna.  They were hungry for male affection, and he knows how that feels.

Nope, wait, you win, too. It's a tie. 

 

King Solomon is celebrated by Kody, because he's Robyn's and he's the newest. Kody collects children, and as soon as Sol starts getting bigger and Kody needs another baby, he'll shove Sol to the side, too. Much like people who collect puppies and then take them to the pound when they get bigger and need more attention, except human offspring doesn't equal dog.

 

Robyn's baby girl is going to get spoiled because she's Robyn's. Also, I don't think Kody quite grasps that Robyn is now 37. She may have three or four more babies, or this might be it. I think this will be it, because Robyn is choosing it. She spaced out four years between this one and Sol, and she'll do the same with this one. Sol was her Anchor Baby. She made every excuse possible to delay having this one. If if weren't to placate Kody, I doubt if she'd have gotten pregnant with this one.  

 

I think you're spot on with assessing that Kody being new to polygamy, and not knowing, or caring, that he needed to be more fair and equal. You're also spot on with the women who did grow up with it being the sneaky, passive aggressive, claw your way to get what you need/want personalities. This is most evident in Christine. I don't dislike her, but she's the most backhanded, passive aggressive one of the bunch. 

 

I don't think Kody's father liked him very much either. Seems like a lot of these polygamist men have some issue with any guy they see as competition or a threat - even if it is their goofball, life of the party, EVERYONE LOOK AT ME, son, Kody. Maybe part of Kody's reason to fall into polygamy was to get his dad's approval. That, and for the attention, and multiple ass.

[toodles]

It was mentioned in the early episodes that kody has always needed to be the center of attention and one woman couldn't satisfy his needs. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. I can't believe I just typed that sentence. Meri was young and hot for him. So they collected a harem for kody. Now he is stuck with pissed off women who are sick of his shit. So meri wants out and all he can do is sit there with a stupid expression on his face. All of their kids see what should be a private adult matter played out on tv and go to school the next day.

This is not the first family to crash and burn on reality tv. But the whole situation is just disgusting.

[notnowimbusy]

There is nothing about Kody that I find spiritual or religious.  It's like he's making it up as he goes along.  The only thing he seems sure of if the idea he can have as many wives as he wants.   Tired of a wife?  Oh, what's that - God's calling?    He's a horrific role model for his kids, not supportive of his wives and seems pretty darn lazy.   Each of the wives have learned to deal with their lives on their own, even having to declare bankruptcy.   I imagine on a day to day basis, since they've move to LV, the wives probably don't see each other, despite living on that cul-de-sac, for days on end.   This is not a family, it's an egotistical man who has managed to convince himself that he can have multiple wives.   These women aren't his life partner, they are used up and set aside.  He's a pig, and sadly the ones like Christine who was raised in polygamy are just too stupid to leave.  

[Snarklepuss]

Getting back to whether Meri cheated or not, I don't see how that's possible seeing as how she was already divorced from Kody at the time, plus I'm sure the Catfish is telling the truth that it was for appearances only that the show script was written to make it look like it was done for the adoption when it was really about her breaking up with him over her dissatisfaction with him in general.  So she didn't even have a "spiritual" marriage to Kody by the time she got involved with "Sam", and no matter whether she is seen from the point of view of their values or anyone else's she was clearly already Kody's ex in more ways than one and only living there physically to fulfill her contracts to the show and perhaps because she wasn't yet ready to flee with her fantasy "boyfriend".

 

Also, I have to think that it's much more complicated and potentially emotionally difficult to disentangle oneself from a polygamous "marriage" than it even would be from a monogamous one.  I have heard of monogamous couples divorcing but still living together because of family obligations, etc.  Meri does not only leave Kody when she breaks up with him, but would have to leave her sister wives and their children as well.  I can only imagine it would be doubly, triply and even quadruple-y difficult to do this for a polygamist.  I believe the parts of the Catfish's rant as "Sam" on the Batman blog that Meri was torn about leaving her sister wives and their kids.

 

I have to say I can understand Meri's reasons for wanting to leave Kody while not necessarily wanting to leave the rest of the family.  He pretty much dumped her and did things to hurt her so I think she had every reason to want a divorce.  I remember last season when he announced he didn't want to pursue in vitro fertilization with her that I felt it was a total slap in the face - The way he acted was so selfish and unloving.  I can only imagine that this was the tip of the iceberg of what he was doing to her.  I can also now see why she vacillated about attempting another child with him - she was unsure about HIM as much as having another child.  I can't say that I blame her one bit.

[java23]

There's so many things that are wrong in Meri's version that it's pretty hard to trust anything she says. And I've never liked her, so it's easy for me to find fault. 

When she first started talking about divorcing Kodi, for the good of Robyn's kids, I thought something was fishy. Every time she said it wasn't about her feelings, and that it was all about the kids, I shook my head.

Since Day 1, everything has been about Meri. 

If we believe anything from the Batman Blog, then it's clear this affair, or whatever you want to call it, has been going on for longer than Meri admits to.

If she was so unhappy, and her marriage has been over for years, then why make such a big deal over do it for Robyn's kids. She wanted out and the martyr act is ridiculous.

Waking up and feeling lonely doesn't just happen in plural families, or at empty nest time. I know a lot of women who gave up everything, friends, career, to be married and raise kids, and wake up one day feeling lost. It happens. 

And most of us don't have sister wives we can hang out with or 10 other children to get invested in. 
If Meri was pulling away from the family, how can she then claim to be all about the family. It doesnt make sense at all.

If she was that unhappy, she should have left years ago for herself, not for some guy.

 

And the whole IVF situation is just as crazy. Isn't she like 44 yrs, old? who waits until they are in their 40s to try that? All that IVF stuff was supposedly a big issue while Meri was so unhappy and wanted out, so which is it?

None of it makes sense and I really have no sympathy for her. 

 

If you all decide to visit that blog, do yourself a favor and avoid the pic section. The pics she sent literally made me ill.

[Snarklepuss]

There's so many things that are wrong in Meri's version that it's pretty hard to trust anything she says. And I've never liked her, so it's easy for me to find fault. 

When she first started talking about divorcing Kodi, for the good of Robyn's kids, I thought something was fishy. Every time she said it wasn't about her feelings, and that it was all about the kids, I shook my head.

Since Day 1, everything has been about Meri. 

If we believe anything from the Batman Blog, then it's clear this affair, or whatever you want to call it, has been going on for longer than Meri admits to.

If she was so unhappy, and her marriage has been over for years, then why make such a big deal over do it for Robyn's kids. She wanted out and the martyr act is ridiculous.

 

Most people I know never bought the adoption story, but thought it was the brainchild of TLC or the family to cover up Kody's true motives of dumping Meri and replacing her with Robyn.  The Catfish said something similar but claimed it was Meri's idea to leave first, not Kody's, and I see no reason to doubt that.  So either way I don't think it was Meri's idea to concoct the adoption story - She just wanted out (or was put out) and TLC/the family scrambled to create a story line to cover it up.  As far as how long the affair lasted, the Catfish has repeatedly claimed it was around 6 months (around March - September?), and judging from that and other incidental things, it looks like that's correct.  Not that I would believe the Catfish on everything by a long shot, but concerning certain incidental facts she has already shown herself to be telling the truth.

 

BTW, I agree with you about those photos......Cannot unsee.

[CofCinci]

And the whole IVF situation is just as crazy. Isn't she like 44 yrs, old? who waits until they are in their 40s to try that? 

The family didn't have the money (or the fame to find free IVF) when Meri was younger.

Edited November 19, 2015 by CofCinci

[Juliegirlj]

Kody has said he will not take another wife- I call bullshit in that. The only thing that motivates him is procreating and I bet Robyn will be done as brood mare after this baby. In a few years he will need to create more spawn so he will recruit a younger woman to the Brown Circus. The more spawn he creates the bigger his ego gets. Kody's reaction to Meri's little talk speaks volumes that their marriage has been a sham for a long time. Any comments by Kody or the other wives on social media now are strictly damage control.