Christine Brown Woolley: Nacho Sister Wife Anymore

[Kellyee]

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He's the closest thing she has to a father and treats her better.

Christine has all but admitted on several occasions that Aspyn was the second parent in her house. I think their family is a lot like a single mom family. Kody just did drive-bys. I remember right after they moved to Las Vegas, Christine complained that Kody hadn't seen her kids more than once that whole week. They are 4 single mothers sharing a baby daddy. Which is apparently normal for polygamous families. One of them said once that most plyg families don't even spend Thanksgiving or Christmas together, but have separate gatherings with the father going from house to house. 

It speaks volumes that not a single Brown kid wants to live plural marriage.

 

 

 

[Sandy W]

8 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

 They are 4 single mothers sharing a baby daddy.

 

I think of him as a Time Share husband/father.  It's as if 4 individuals have a vested interest in a property and are allotted the use and enjoyment of that property in accordance with their percentage of ownership. In the Brown Corporation, Robyn holds 97% of the shares, and the others each 1%. 

Meri doesn't exercise her option often, only for special occasions such as the ribbon cutting at the Inn or a bogus trip to Flagstaff to seek her input on which land to purchase.  On the Flagstaff trip, Meri anticipated making the most of her 1%, encouraged when Kody casually slung his arm over her shoulder, but her hopes were dashed when they returned to the motel and Kody on camera pointedly asked her which bed she wanted.

Christine is forced to barter for her share, offering storage for wrestling mats in her garage in exchange for an increase in grocery money allotment and time spent with her kids.

Due to pandemic restrictions and the safety and well being of those occupying Robyn's nest, Janelle was only able to accept curbside condolences for the passing of her mother and Kody was able to make it a twofer by extending birthday congratulations to Savannah in the one trip.  The pandemic restrictions are put aside when a event such as Christmas celebrations arise, along with the possible attendance of a film crew.

 

[HighlandWarriorGrl]

4 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Kody spent the least amount of time with them when they were younger. 

I think you may have hit on why Christine’s kids are great . . .

[iwantcookies]

Why is Truely misspelled? It’s already not a great name , but to misspell it on top of it? What a headache.

[LilWharveyGal]

39 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Why is Truely misspelled? It’s already not a great name , but to misspell it on top of it? What a headache.

Welcome to the mind of Christine Brown.

[Kohola3]

5 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Welcome to the mind of Christine Brown.

Welcome to the world of Mormons.  There is a whole website devoted to their bizarro names.

[Kellyee]

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Why is Truely misspelled? It’s already not a great name , but to misspell it on top of it? What a headache.

It's still way better than Paedon, or that other poor girl whose name starts with Y that I can't even begin to spell. I don't know how Aspyn got so lucky.

 

 

 

 

[laurakaye]

While I somewhat like Christine featuring a "Y" in all of her kids' names, it has always bugged me that she didn't spell Paedon "Paydon."  If she had to perform spelling gymnastics to turn Isabelle into "Ysabel" and Gwen into "Gwendlyn" then where is Paedon's "Y"?  The one kid where a Y would actually makes some sense?  It nags at me.

As you said - welcome to the mind of Christine Brown...where there are lots of twists and turns and the dark places are sprinkled with unicorn glitter.

[deirdra]

Perhaps Christine's plan was to add Y's where they are unexpected and remove them where they are expected.  I wonder if she doodled her own name as Chrystyne as a tween.

[ginger90]

[suomi]

I guess she forgot the fourth thing she believes Satan created... toasters. 

[Dustbunny]

Looks like Meri isn't the only one wearing Truely's clothing

 

[ginger90]

That looks awful.

[xwordfanatik]

Is it just fuddy-duddy COL me, or does anyone else hate shirts that are longer than sweaters/jackets over them?  It looks un-neat to me.

It may be cozy & comfy, but I don't like it.  It does look too small IMO.

[Sandy W]

11 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Is it just fuddy-duddy COL me, or does anyone else hate shirts that are longer than sweaters/jackets over them?  It looks un-neat to me.

It may be cozy & comfy, but I don't like it.  It does look too small IMO.

As bad as it is, it sure beats the tank tops over long sleeved tee-shirts. I never understood that, if they were trying minimize the risk of "nips" being accented in the long sleeved tee, why not just buy a roomier tee-shirt?

[suomi]

Both shoulders are rising, are they pointy from being on a hanger or is there an odd seam? The torso is oddly proportioned and shaped, too tight and short but the sleeves are full. 

I wouldn't try it on let alone pose in it. It's giving me restless legs.

[Joan of Argh]

39 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Is it just fuddy-duddy COL me, or does anyone else hate shirts that are longer than sweaters/jackets over them?  It looks un-neat to me.

It may be cozy & comfy, but I don't like it.  It does look too small IMO.

Same here... Not a fan and I bet that cheap looking sweater is the type with long loose yarn inside that catches on everything.

It's not flattering, makes her hips look huge, the shoulders have a strange shape as Suomi pointed out and the style of sleeves with the long cuffs looks straight out of the 80's, it looks like she's going for a casual look but that pink shirt with its little collar all buttoned up is so proper and looks tacky.

Good grief it's a race to the bottom with this gang and their lack of fashion sense.

I have a white short sleeved hi-low shirt that I wear a little jean jacket over but it's longer than Christines shirt, it covers my butt in back and isn't quite as long in front but still covers up my crotch...Her little pink shirt isn't long enough and it's too tight for the look she's after... It stops at her hips and accentuates her ass, crotch and hips. 

[DakotaJustice]

Is this Thrift Shop Chic? Because it looks like a bunch of random, mismatched items.

[ginger90]

10 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

Because it looks like a bunch of random, mismatched items.

You’ve got the exact  LuLaNo description, and it’s on purpose. 🤦‍♀️

[YupItsMe]

I think those are supposed to be puff sleeves.

[ginger90]

The sweater Christine modeled is $54.00.

 

If Christine  wore the cuffs like the picture above, the shoulders wouldn’t have the stretched out puckered look.

[Joan of Argh]

45 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

The sweater Christine modeled is $54.00.

 

If Christine  wore the cuffs like the picture above, the shoulders wouldn’t have the stretched out puckered look.

So if you want it to look normal like the model you have to order it large enough to completely hide the extended cuffs and keep the shoulders from puckering up.

Goodness what's the purpose of the long cuffs if no one can see them?

I noticed a bunch of lularoe at my local farmers market about a month ago, it was priced dirt cheap but I didn't see anyone looking at the racks.... I went to the market again today, the racks were still full and the sales lady was using a marker to slash prices.. T-shirts were $2, Skirts were $3, Jeans were $3 and other items were priced at $4.... I decided to take a look, saw a pair of jeans in my size and a little jacket so I tried them on and nothing fit, the jeans were sooooo tight in the calves, baggy on my thighs and the waist band was all waffled like the elastic was twisted as it was attached...the jacket was another horror that was so tight across the shoulders I couldn't put my arms straight to my sides (I felt like a tin man lol), the seams on the sleeves were twisted and the cuffs felt like they were cutting off my circulation.... I spoke to the lady and she said if I wanted anything I should buy it now because anything left on the racks this thursday was being donated to a woman's shelter to make room for new items (not lularoe)

All I could think was... Haven't the ladies at the women's shelter been through enough, must they be terrorized by ill fitting lularoe?  😲

[deirdra]

8 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

I decided to take a look, saw a pair of jeans in my size and a little jacket so I tried them on and nothing fit, the jeans were sooooo tight in the calves, baggy on my thighs and the waist band was all waffled like the elastic was twisted as it was attached...the jacket was another horror that was so tight across the shoulders I couldn't put my arms straight to my sides (I felt like a tin man lol), the seams on the sleeves were twisted and the cuffs felt like they were cutting off my circulation.... 

That's what they look like on Christine & Meri (and the leggings on Tony).  I thought they were underestimating their sizes, but it appears they were not made for human bodies.

And yes, the women in shelters have suffered enough already!

Edited January 12, 2021 by deirdra

[ginger90]

An example of LuLaNo on my local Facebook Marketplace.....

Perhaps the used one was Meri’s. 🤣😂

[DakotaJustice]

I honestly can't believe that anyone still buys this shit.

[Just Wondering]

I am wondering if Christine so easily discerned Robyn’s self-interested intentions upon entering “the family” because they so closely mirrored her own when she herself entered the family as the newest chick.  
For starters, Christine was first pregnant at the exact same time as the original two “wives”, so why suddenly be so upset that Kody was just as busy during her last pregnancy.
For nexters, Christine was openly catcalling someone else’s husband (“manly man”) before “marriage”, so why was she so upset Robyn allowed kisses from someone else’s husband before marriage?  With courtship merely a formality in this sect, why was Christine so crazed over semantics?
It’s because she recognized the mindset and the tactics and knew what she was up against.

 

[Teafortwo]

On 1/11/2021 at 7:10 PM, ginger90 said:

The sweater Christine modeled is $54.00.

That is a crime! Cashmere can be had for less.

[HighlandWarriorGrl]

2 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

That is a crime! Cashmere can be had for less.

Absolute truth!  I think I bought a cashmere sweater at Costco for $60, well made, with a no questions asked return policy.  That’s some brass cajones on those Lularot people, I’m tellin ya.

[dmbo]

This is Scary!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CJ_rHOdhUpv/?igshid=6zab6ptiuxbk

[Absolom]

That is not a good look for her unless it's Halloween.

[iwantcookies]

I know I’m mean.  But she looks like a witch. Such an unattractive look.

[HighlandWarriorGrl]

Um, something doesn’t look right here.  Has she lost a bunch more weight recently?  Her face looks sunken and her skin is a funny color.  All snarking aside, she doesn’t look well and I’m a bit concerned.  Could she be in a well of depression because she has finally figured out that the plyg gig is over and she is a single mom?  If so, I can’t snark at that.  She does look scary, but not a funny kind of scary, a sick kind of scary.

[ginger90]

Not a good picture at all. Is it the hair, the eyebrows, the color she’s wearing?

Here’s a screenshot  from her stories. Somehow it’s not as bad, I think. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Absolom]

She's lost so much weight that her face is now super slim and her nose is very prominent.  The stringy hair does nothing to soften her nose and adds to the witchy feel.  Then her outfit and the background kind of blur together making her face, and thus the nose, the focal point.

Different outfit, different hair, less obvious eye brows and eye liner and I believe she could look a lot better.  

[DakotaJustice]

I see spider leg mascara. She's shilling Younique now, right? 

[suomi]

I am so glad I'm on my phone. Seeing those photos on my PC woulda knocked me off my chair.

Kendra Scott joory and lilac drapes. Is she at Aspyn's house?

Trouble in paradise? Check out these two comments:

I saw no one making fun. Just saying the truth here. If you can’t see the difference, you might need an eye appointment!

Too much make up, filters. Only posts for sales . Am unfollowing.🙄

[riverblue22]

That jewelry doesn't go well at all with that dress/blouse.  You can hardly see it!

Time for Christine to get a shorter haircut...bangs of some sort might help.

[Joan of Argh]

8 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Not a good picture at all. Is it the hair, the eyebrows, the color she’s wearing?

🤷🏼‍♀️

 

YIKES!!!...She looks like an ugly old witch 👹

Her asskisser followers on IG are telling people that she's gorgeous, beautiful blah, blah... With friends like that who needs enemies?

If she was my friend and ready to walk out the door looking like that I'd tell her the truth because that's what friends do.

[jojo3couleurs]

we need someone to photoshop a witch black hat on her... it's sadly too accurate!!! 😵

[xwordfanatik]

Not a good photo, but it's honest, unlike SW Meri, who filters the daylights out of every photo she posts.

Christine #loveswhosheis, for rill.

[Just Wondering]

Maybe her teenagers thought they’d help her out?  A few giggling brush strokes from a YouTube celebrity’s newest color palette, some squeals, and you’re ready for your closeup, Mr. DeMille?

This actually makes me think of how Tom Green would take a couple of “wives” out to sell magazine subscriptions door to door when funds were running low. 

[deirdra]

Doesn't Younique sell any moisturizers?

[Joan of Argh]

Christine had one of her "car confession" videos recently with the worst eyebrows, they looked like fuzzy black pipe cleaners bent in half and stuck on her forehead and her nose looked so huge I had to watch it a couple times to try and figure out what the hell she'd done to her face.... She looked like Groucho Marks. 

One of her biggest mistakes is that she doesn't seem to realize that BLACK mascara, eyeliner and DARK BROWN eyebrow pencil is too harsh with her blonde hair and skin tone plus she wears foundation that sinks into her wrinkles and makes her look a bit greasy.

Plus after a certain age... being TOO SKINNY isn't your friend and most older women look better with a little meat on their bones... For most of my life I was 110 lbs but now my face looks better when I'm 115 - 120 and I don't wear as much makeup as I did in my 20's and 30's because it tends to make me look more wrinkled than when I wear softer makeup and less of it.

Christine could look so nice if she went to Sephora or some other professional, let them choose her products and show her how to use them.

[Kellyee]

Quote

Not a good photo, but it's honest, unlike SW Meri, who filters the daylights out of every photo she posts.

Christine #loveswhosheis, for rill.

No matter how much her photo sucks, Christine is still the most likeable one of this bunch. She always seemed more genuine to me than Robyn or Meri. And more sincere in her efforts to be a real family, even if she is refusing to move into the plyg house from hell.

 

 

 

[Sandy W]

8 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

 

Christine could look so nice if she went to Sephora or some other professional, let them choose her products and show her how to use them.

I don't know if she is still selling Younique products, another MLM, but she was a few months ago.  That was just as ridiculous as Mykelti selling the contact paper nails, or for that matter, Meri, Mykelti and Christine selling anything to do with fashion.  And how about Janelle flogging a health and wellness program when there has been zero change in her status and Mariah promoting yoga, when she becomes nastier by the day? 

[Sandy W]

5 minutes ago, CocoPuffs said:

I don’t know. She seems pretty fake to me. I’ve always thought that about Christine.

I do think she’s the best of that bunch, but I think she definitely is good at putting on an act in some cases. No shade on her really, it’s just that I don’t think that she’s as genuine and pure as she’d have the viewing audience believe. 

I think we have witnessed a very slow osmosis of Christine over the years the program has been on the air.  She was raised to believe that this was her lot in life and it was so firmly entrenched in her that even when her mother left, disillusioned with polygamy, she remained.

Since Robyn came on the scene, she has been confronted with the inequalities in her relationship with Kody.  It had probably been drilled into her head that she must accept Meri's domineering ways, as after all, she was the first wife.  When Christine saw how that power could be shifted by a stirring in her "wonderful man's" loins, was probably the first step in her awakening.  Couple that with what I can imagine is a continuous barrage from Gwen pointing out the fallacies of the lifestyle may be leading Christine to lose faith in what she has been raised to believe.

The tension on her face in the "witch" photo is evident.  Smiling on the outside, but I think we are viewing a woman on the verge of collapse, I hope her kids are there for her to pick up the pieces.

[laurakaye]

30 minutes ago, CocoPuffs said:

I do think she’s the best of that bunch, but I think she definitely is good at putting on an act in some cases. No shade on her really, it’s just that I don’t think that she’s as genuine and pure as she’d have the viewing audience believe. 

 

8 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

The tension on her face in the "witch" photo is evident.  Smiling on the outside, but I think we are viewing a woman on the verge of collapse, I hope her kids are there for her to pick up the pieces.

I think her breathless, whispery "keep sweet" demeanor and being the "fun" wife has finally caught up to her.  She must be getting close to 50 now, my guess is that she's doing some re-evaluating of her life, with all its fallacies and lies and rage and petty jealousies and maybe she's finally weary of trying to dance for the attention of a man who is never going to give her anything.

But wow, that is some serious weight loss.  Given that these women tend to eschew going to the doctor for themselves, I hope she's gotten a physical lately.  That plus the horrible dark eyebrows and lashes have aged her to the point where I thought she was using some sort of bizarre age-advancing filter.

Also, what on earth is she wearing - a velour peasant blouse??

Edited January 15, 2021 by laurakaye

[dmbo]

1 hour ago, CocoPuffs said:

I don’t know. She seems pretty fake to me. I’ve always thought that about Christine.

I do think she’s the best of that bunch, but I think she definitely is good at putting on an act in some cases. No shade on her really, it’s just that I don’t think that she’s as genuine and pure as she’d have the viewing audience believe. 

100% agree! In the last 2/3 seasons Christine seems to be replacing Meri as Robin's new sidekick. 

In the episode where Meri confronts the other 3 wives in therapy after Axel's birth Christine travels with Robin. Jenelle and Meri arrive alone. 

In the episode where they are on segways Jenelle, Christine and Robyn all wear matching clothes and in some of the interviews they do the same. 

I used to like Christine and Jenelle now I hate all the wives equally.

[Joan of Argh]

I used to prefer Christine over the other wives but when she went along with kody and the quack as they terrorized Ysabel with that PVC pipe contraption I lost all respect for her.

It also irked me that she didn't rip Kody a new one when he ignored Truley as she laid on the couch dying while Aspyn tried to care for her.

[Cetacean]

6 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Also, what on earth is she wearing - a velour peasant blouse??

And standing in front of a shower curtain?  Damn, that is one ugly picture.