Small Talk: The Polygamous Cul-de-Sac

[Kohola3]

I, too, appreciate your explanations Marigold. I had no real interest in polygamy but did expect some religious explanations for it when the show first came on. It rapidly became apparent that there WAS no real religion here except the Church of All About Kody and his Little Kody.  I stopped watching long ago but do enjoy the forums.

 

It does seem difficult to make heads and tails of Mormonism sometimes and you make it quite clear and concise.

[Marigold]

What I/you read on the internet about Mormons is not what a regular LDS church looks like. They have a serious image problem. SERIOUS. The LDS church is aware of it and is trying to repair it but it's clearly not working. 

 

I got interested in the LDS after having numerous miscarriages.I had a lot of questions and got the most unsatisfactory answers.  A major crisis of faith ensued. I was a devout Baptist.  I read up on the Mormons (big Love fan)  and came away with "what a bunch of kooks". On a whim, my husband, kids and I decided to visit the church by my house. I really liked it and was surprised at how "unkooky" they are. I've been LDS for about 10 years now. Took me 3 years to get baptized. 3 years to decide to go through the temple.  No regrets. I find the LDS to be supportive and loving in my life journey. Of course, there are jerks and bad experiences in every religion and that includes the LDS too. But overall, you would be very surprised in a LDS church on a Sunday morning. I certainly was shocked...

I rarely discuss my religious beliefs because  Mormons =  jokes. Plus, who wants to argue? Not me. I like to focus on what we have in common. 

 

Totally agree...the Brown faith looks really mixed up. And the Williams family left their church.  The Dargers don't attend church either, right? 

Wish these families would discuss their faith more...

I think everyone on familysearch.org--a geneology site run by the LDS--has been baptized by proxy. I believe if you are an LDS member then you can log in with your membership records and see for sure.

The LDS church has names collected/recorded. But the person might not have had a baptism done...they have lists and lists of names waiting to go. 

 

I will ask how a person can find out. I know just submitting a name is a complicated procedure so finding out about the name is probably complicated too. 

[wirebitersm]

K i would like to discuss something here but feel the need to state that if you are deeply religious or easily offended, please don't read any further.

Does it skeeve anyone else out if they let their mind wander too far in thinking about the actual logistics of these kinds of relationships? I am by no means a prude and actually believe people should be allowed to live however the hell they want.

However....I know for me..i find it absolutely disgusting when he goes from wife to wife to wife to wife with that mouth open for a kiss. Then my mind takes me even darker places and i am practically gagging. The thought of my husband's parts mashed into another woman's parts who i can barely look at,let alone chance getting "parts of her parts" on MY parts..ugghhhh.

Maybe i have watched too many forensic shows, maybe i am just sick in the head. ..but the intimate acts they say are private and separate really aren't. .they share EVERYTHING.

Let alone the power involved in say Meri hates Janelle so goes out of her way to mess with Janelles head with Kody as a willing participant. Also i think it is no coincidence that Christine had the hardest time with the introduction of Robyn into the family and then has suffered the worst as far as her individual marriage is concerned since then. She was vocal about her problems and Kody started treating her like shit and neglecting her and her kids.

Thoughts?

Not coming at this from a religious angle because I don't think you can truly consent when you have eternity at stake. I personally think some of us are wired for poly. The kissing and the sex doesn't bother me. Most people I "know" want STD tests run regularly. I know cold sores are common, but there are still those of us out there who don't want them so that is something that is discussed and is within whatever poly dynamics a group has agreed on. I admit, the cold sore thing skeeves me out. Maybe the original recipe Browns already had it so it didn't matter when they added Robyn.

 

Kody sucks and I really do think his relationship with Christine is abusive.

[Tabbygirl521]

K i would like to discuss something here but feel the need to state that if you are deeply religious or easily offended, please don't read any further.

Does it skeeve anyone else out if they let their mind wander too far in thinking about the actual logistics of these kinds of relationships? I am by no means a prude and actually believe people should be allowed to live however the hell they want.

However....I know for me..i find it absolutely disgusting when he goes from wife to wife to wife to wife with that mouth open for a kiss. Then my mind takes me even darker places and i am practically gagging. The thought of my husband's parts mashed into another woman's parts who i can barely look at,let alone chance getting "parts of her parts" on MY parts..ugghhhh.

Maybe i have watched too many forensic shows, maybe i am just sick in the head. ..but the intimate acts they say are private and separate really aren't. .they share EVERYTHING.

Let alone the power involved in say Meri hates Janelle so goes out of her way to mess with Janelles head with Kody as a willing participant. Also i think it is no coincidence that Christine had the hardest time with the introduction of Robyn into the family and then has suffered the worst as far as her individual marriage is concerned since then. She was vocal about her problems and Kody started treating her like shit and neglecting her and her kids.

Thoughts?

I absolutely agree here. The whole set-up nauseates me, along with their so-called rationale that one of the purposes of polygamy is to teach women to handle their jealousy and be better people, or however they put it. Just one more cult that exists to control and shame women, and make some penis-haver feel like a big shot.

These comments are specifically about the Browns. I would likely feel differently about a group in which each member had total freedom to fulfill their own desires, and liked and respected each other.

Edited October 17, 2015 by Tabbygirl521

[Featherhat]

Open and honest polyamory doesn't really bother me. It's not for me personally but it works for some people. As long as people are open and honest about medical issues and hygiene that shouldn't be that skeevy if you actually want that type of relationship.

As for the Browns I think the sex and "intimacy" such as it was actually wasn't really discussed between the wives pre show as they seem to have preferred to block that out and pretend it didn't exist, so yeah there was probably some subconscious horror about it (and who know if Kody bothered to brush teeth between wives).

[algebra]

I don't think any kind of polyamory works for everyone involved. Someone is always going to be insecure, someone is always hoping something will change. Or somebody is really unaware of what the real dynamics are. I saw a news story about it, there was a trio of one woman and two men. It was easy to see that the two men were gay and in love with each other, and the woman was just fat and unattractive and so desperate to have somebody in her life, she agreed to do their laundry.

Then there was a trio of one man and two women. The skinny sexy vivacious wife did all the talking, the man sat there smiling & nodding, and the older overweight wife who had borne all the children (and probably did all the housework,) just sat there with her arms crossed, sourly studying her shoes.

It's like all the married women who know their husbands are unfaithful but are afraid to give any ultimatums or threaten divorce because they don't have the money to take the kids and run. So they pretend to be okay with it.

I remember an editorial published during the Clinton -Lewinsky scandal, and the writer said something like "the first time a woman defends her husband's infidelity, she looks like a saint; the second and third time she does it, she looks disturbingly complicit." That's it, if you are going along with this, you are disturbingly complicit. There is something wrong with you.

[SometimesBites]

Hey y'all. I'm going to skate out on the thin ice a little (sorry...the intro to Big Love is playing in the background while I type--the group skating moment) and throw out some info that I hope doesn't seem spammy.

 

I've mentioned before that I'm a writer, and I wanted to let you guys know that I'm running a holiday countdown sale promotion for the Kindle version of my novel--it's marked down to a mere $0.99 for just a few more days. It's historical fiction based on actual events and has gotten some love with reviewers on Amazon and Goodreads. If you have readers on your gift list who are getting Kindles for Christmas, they'll be hoping for things to load onto it--but Kindle books can be read on any device with Amazon's free app.

 

Okay yeah, that all sounded marketing-heavy. I promise I won't even tell you about the delicious green drink I swill every morning...

 

Rather than put the product link here, I'll provide it to anyone who asks via private message.

 

Okay--please return to your regularly-scheduled snarking. :)

[Kohola3]

The whole idea of polygamy is ludicrous.  It only benefits the man who can have sex anytime he wants while the women are expected to not only tolerate it but accept it.  And all under the guise of religious tenets.  I call BS on the entire idea.

[Bad Example]

This seems like just the place to thank those of you who are still watching because I can't take the boredom actually tuning in produces... but I very much enjoy keeping up with the trainwreck through all of you.  

[Galloway Cave]

In response to the talk about Funeral Potatoes in the Meri thread, here is the recipe:

 

Funeral Potatoes (AKA Death by Christmas in Galloway Cave's home)

 

Potato mix:
1 bag regular hash brown potatoes
1 16oz. container of sour cream
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 2-cup package of shredded cheese (cheddar or Monterey Jack)
¼ cup melted butter
Salt and pepper to taste
Diced bacon or ham if desired

 

Topping:
3 cups of crushed corn flakes
½ cup melted butter

 

For potatoes, mix thoroughly all ingredients except hash browns in a bowl. Once mixed, add hash browns. Spread in a casserole dish. Mix melted butter and corn flakes in a bowl, spread on top of the casserole.

 

Bake at 475 degrees for 45 minutes.

Edited January 21, 2016 by Galloway Cave

[MaryMitch]

Wow, small world - my mother (in western NC) always made that for Christmas too (without the bacon; I'll have to try that)! She just called it "hash brown casserole"; I have no idea where she got the recipe from.

[Celia Rubenstein]

I got a version of this out of a Chicago newspaper decades ago, called "Idaho Potato Bake."  Slightly less sour cream, a touch more more butter, no chicken soup (or bacon), always went with Monterey cheese, and at least two bunches of sliced green onion.  Oh, and a egg to bind it together.  Basically hash brown casserole, like MaryMitch's mom called it.  I used to serve it as a side when we grilled steaks because it stays hot in its dish for a long time, so I didn't have to pay any attention to it and I could focus on the grill.  

 

I need to hit the grocery store now, lol bye

[DakotaJustice]

My mom called it "Potatoes Gourmet" and it was with mashed potatoes, not hash browns but yeah all that yummy stuff blended in with the taters, and then placed in a casserole dish with crumbs on top.  Mom used corn flake crumbs but nowadays would probably use panko bread crumbs instead.  I don't recall of their being any cream soup added tho.

[suomi]

Amen to green onion in funeral potatoes. Adds color and a slight zing. And it's a real conversation starter around here: "My heck, arrre theeez green ungyuns? For gooood!"

[Galloway Cave]

Yeah, I forgot I took out the one onion chopped from the recipe. I can't eat onions. I usually make one of these monsters with onions, one without, for Christmas morning (12 in our family).

[hunneytot]

Ok guys, we just made the switch from Dish to the Fire stick. I added this trainwreck to my hulu, but I see now they are waaaaay behind adding new episodes! Where can I get my fix? Thanks anyone who can help.

[luvmylabs]

Anyone know anything about the polygamous families of the program Polygamy USA?  I saw on Tumblr that Hyrum and Kellie have a daughter now.  No word of him taking a second wife.

Edited May 22, 2016 by luvmylabs

[toodles]

Ok.  I live in Vegas and went on a field trip to the cuddle-sec today.  My sister is visiting and her co-worker wanted her to take a picture and yell for kody.  We went to the front gate.  We did not get out of the car and no yelling was involved.  The one house we could see through the gate (which I don't think is a Brown house) is huge.  

I thought I would share with the team.

[AZChristian]

33 minutes ago, toodles said:

Ok.  I live in Vegas and went on a field trip to the cuddle-sec today.  My sister is visiting and her co-worker wanted her to take a picture and yell for kody.  We went to the front gate.  We did not get out of the car and no yelling was involved.  The one house we could see through the gate (which I don't think is a Brown house) is huge.  

I thought I would share with the team.

The one straight in front of the gate isn't theirs.  The actual cult-de-sac is the four houses on the right (south) of the gate.  What I find surprising is how close the two houses on the south end are to the large street on the other side of the fence.  Gotta be a lot of road noise for those back bedrooms.

[toodles]

Their actual street is pretty quiet.  The street against the back of their houses is a two lane rd.  They live away from any large developments.  Until today, I didn't realize they live relatively close to me.  I would say they live about 5 miles away.  I recognize a lot of the restaurants and other places they go to.  The fitness center they went to and did the humiliating weigh in is within walking distance.

[CofCinci]

It's creepy to check out their house in person. There are plenty of pictures online and video from episodes if you're curious about the set up. 

[VedaPierce]

11 hours ago, toodles said:

Their actual street is pretty quiet.  The street against the back of their houses is a two lane rd.  They live away from any large developments.  Until today, I didn't realize they live relatively close to me.  I would say they live about 5 miles away.  I recognize a lot of the restaurants and other places they go to.  The fitness center they went to and did the humiliating weigh in is within walking distance.

I always get a kick when I see my town in these stupid shows. Bravo had that horrible Secrets and Lies filmed in my town and they all filmed in our restaurants and streets. I thought it was so cool to see on tv! Lol lol

i was at a girls' birthday dinner one night and one of the characters showed up there. I wanted to send over a drink but all the other ladies I was with wouldn't let me! Lol They thought it was tacky! I'm sending over a free (expensive!) drink! Who doesn't love a free drink? To a 'z' list 'star'! Lol come on, who cares? 

Those horrific Princesses Of Long Island was filmed in my town too. It's the only reason I watched that train wreck! Lol

Edited June 4, 2016 by VedaPierce

[VedaPierce]

Also confess, I drove by a couple of those long island show houses too, I don't think it's that big a deal to drive by (shrug). It's a public street... I was just curious to see in person what they show on tv...it actually looks more impressive on tv...

now if I were to peak in the windows and look in the garbage.... :)

Edited June 4, 2016 by VedaPierce

[RazzleberryPie]

It's creepy to me to plan a cross country trip, but to just drive by if you live a few streets away, no biggie.

[AZChristian]

Well, when we were in England, I went to Downton Abbey (Highclere House).  I love seeing things from movies and TV shows.  If there's a tour of somewhere, I'm happy to take it; otherwise, it's just a drive-by.  If TV people don't want tourists to drive by, they shouldn't turn their houses into a filming location.

We're seriously considering Roloff (Little People, Big World) Farms when we head up that way in September.

[Kohola3]

You plaster your tawdry lives on TV for the money, you are fair game for anything including the curious driving by your house. 

[RazzleberryPie]

11 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Well, when we were in England, I went to Downton Abbey (Highclere House).  I love seeing things from movies and TV shows.  If there's a tour of somewhere, I'm happy to take it; otherwise, it's just a drive-by.  If TV people don't want tourists to drive by, they shouldn't turn their houses into a filming location.

We're seriously considering Roloff (Little People, Big World) Farms when we head up that way in September.

I'd love to visit their pumpkin farm. That's sort of different, because it was a tourist attraction before the show, but yeah, show your house on tv for years, don't be surprised if people drive by. Not like your trying to get kids to go in your car or rifle through trash. 

[toodles]

No TLC trucks were there.  I suspect everyone was in Montana for the wedding.  I didn't see any badly strung lights either.

My friend saw Christine and truely at target once.  That's as close to an actual Brown sighting as I get.

We didn't bother anyone and no one gave us a second glance.

Edited June 6, 2016 by toodles
kindle has a mind of its own

[jacksgirl]

I always wanted to drive by Amber and Gary's house in Anderson, IN when visiting family, but never did. If I remember correctly there was an old Coke machine on the porch. Did get to see the Jerry Maguire house in Manhattan Beach California  and Field of Dreams house and bsll field in Dyersville Iowa. Not reality shows but really awesome to see those places. I agree if you're going to put yourself out on trash TV you better be ready for people to drive by.

Edited June 4, 2016 by jacksgirl

[greekmom]

Found this on youtube.

[Tabbygirl521]

On May 21, 2016 at 7:27 PM, luvmylabs said:

Anyone know anything about the polygamous families of the program Polygamy USA?  I saw on Tumblr that Hyrum and Kellie have a daughter now.  No word of him taking a second wife.

"HYRUM"?!?!?!! Busting a gut here. 

[SongbirdHollow]

"Nowhere" said in another thread:

That being said, in my opinion, the reason none of them want to practice polygamy is because I really don't feel like it is natural for a woman to want to share. A woman's basic instinct is monogamy and, yeah all the girls see that their mothers are miserable for one reason or another. 

I don't think male instinct is much different from females even though I've heard professionals on the topic say otherwise. Not only that, they are allowed to use their brains to come to their own conclusions and not brainwashed like some sects do to their children. 

 

You bring up an interesting point. None of the kids, even the males, seem interested in polygamy. That the females don't seems a no-brainer, but if polygamy is all about what the man gets out of it, why is it not appealing to the sons? Maybe feminism is finally taking hold in this generation. I certainly see that on my twitter feed, with regular men and celebrities getting behind #heforshe and things like that. Of course, there are a lot of people I don't follow with opposite views, so I suppose it's skewed. Still, I think there is a paradigm shift happening.

Then again, Kody does it so badly that perhaps that's why the sons are out.

Edited June 19, 2016 by SongbirdHollow
additional thought

[RazzleberryPie]

They're all 'out' right now, but give them a few years into marriage, when the 'new' has worn off and real life problems set it. Then we'll see if they're attracted to another woman and marry her, and if the daughters are ok with it.

i think some will definitely go down that road.

[Kohola3]

Quote

Then again, Kody does it so badly that perhaps that's why the sons are out.

I believe that's a big part of it.  But I also think the economic feasibility of supporting huge numbers of people (legally) is something that they can see as virtually impossible.  The only reason these grifters are maintaining their lifestyle (albeit for a finite amount of time which is fast running out)  is because they sold their souls to TLC.  

In addition, the cockamamie pseudo-religious reasons probably doesn't hold much sway either.  We've seen them change the rules to suit the occasion which doesn't really encourage these kids to follow them.  Luckily they are all smart enough to have escaped the brainwashing.  Plus they are smart enough to see that their mothers are all unhappy, browbeaten sheep wives and their father is an ineffectual, well, everything - father, religious leader, husband, provider, human being.

[Celia Rubenstein]

I think they have definitely downplayed how tight money has been over the years in the family. Haven't a couple of them declared bankruptcy? That has to have an impact on how the kids view the institution of polygamy and is probably part of the reason they reject it, I agree. And the move to Vegas has probably exposed the kids to some very different thinking about gender roles and religion, both of which may be leading them to look at things differently, too. Good points made all around.

[VedaPierce]

I actually think polygamy is perfect for Kody. There is something very off with him in regards to personal relationships, in that I think he's incapable of really connecting on any deep level with anyone. All of his relationships seem very surface to me, even with Robyn, which may be why the bloom is off that rose for her. That's why he needs a lot of wives, so he can avoid spending too much time with one and thus forming any true close bond with anyone. I don't think he can really bond with anyone. Not a real bond that takes years and is strong. His behavior with Christine during the rock building exercise was just bizarre. He seemed so frantic and hyperfocused on building it his way and talking over her like he was afraid she would say something too deep or personal that he didn't want revealed, whether to the cameras or to himself. He never even really looked her in the eye while she was actually intently looking at him. I feel he's avoiding facing something very traumatizing from his past, which is why he surrounds himself with people all the time and seems to cultivate a chaotic environment. I think Janelle is actually quite similar to him, which is why they get along so well, she 'gets' him. She's good at avoiding the real stuff too. I think out of all of these fools, Kody and Janelle really enjoy polygamy the most. The rest are full of shit. 

Gonna move this post to the Kody episode thread, sorry!

Edited June 21, 2016 by VedaPierce

[Kath94]

Okay, I have a stupid question about LDS in general.  So, the idea is to procreate to populate your afterlife kingdom, right?  But don't your sons do the same, meaning that they won't be in YOUR kingdom, but in their own.  And your daughters will belong to their husbands.  So who is on your "planet" other than your wife/wives?  What am I missing?  Not meaning to mock (well, only a little bit) but really want to learn & understand.

[Kohola3]

Kath94 I don't think any LDS polygamist can answer your questions because it's such a cockamamie idea that there is no way in hell it can make sense.  And don't even start to think about divorces and adoptions or your head will explode.

[Celia Rubenstein]

1 hour ago, Kath94 said:

Okay, I have a stupid question about LDS in general.  So, the idea is to procreate to populate your afterlife kingdom, right?  But don't your sons do the same, meaning that they won't be in YOUR kingdom, but in their own.  And your daughters will belong to their husbands.  So who is on your "planet" other than your wife/wives?  What am I missing?  Not meaning to mock (well, only a little bit) but really want to learn & understand.

I don't know the answer for polygamists in general, but I can say that in Kody's case I doubt it will be an issue.  None of his kids are going to end up practicing polygamy after seeing the misery it creates.  So they will all have to get to spend eternity on his little planet.  

I wonder if there is a way you can "opt out" of going to your dad's planet.  Even if it meant spending forever in limbo or purgatory or wherever you end up, I think I'd prefer that to watching Kody fluff his hair and pout when he wasn't the center of attention for eternity. 

[luvmylabs]

I'm sure many, if not most of you have read Escape by Carolyn Jessop.  She was part of the Warren Jeffs FDLS group.  I just finished it and life among those poor women was worse than I ever imagined.  I could not believe the abuse from the husbands and also the sister wives.  Warren Jeffs taking over made things even worse.  It got to the point where men were not allowed to have sex with their own wives but must watch as specially chosen men planted their 'seed' to further the purity of the line.  I hated what I was reading but could not put it down.  Carolyn was the only female FLDS member to escape with all her kids.  Unfortunately her daughter Betty returned when she turned 18, after living for 3 years in the real world.  I am going to read the follow up book this week.

Edited July 17, 2016 by luvmylabs

[toodles]

My Dvr found a rerun today.  I guess tlc is scraping the bottom of barrel.  And considering the programming lately, that's saying something.

It was the one where they spoke in front of the oh so scary people who thought polygamy was a load of crap.  They edited the snotty Robyn comments to make her sound a little nicer.  

This, of course, prior to the divorce, catfishing, commitment ceremony, rock stacking and all the other Brown dip shittery. 

I wonder if the sw would sing the same tune these days.

I love the "anthropologist" talking marriage statistics.  35 percent happy, 35 percent soso and 35 percent unhappy.  My math may be fuzzy, but that totals 105 percent.

[Kohola3]

Quote

My math may be fuzzy, but that totals 105 percent.

Which shows you how reputable the "anthropologist" would be on the believablity scale.

[toodles]

Today's rerun was the one with the therapy session in Sedona.  Annnd the mission statement.  Annnnd the commitment ceremony.  Kody Brown asshattery was on full display.

Nancy, the therapist, seems very big on stones.  She also is very scary for the Browns.  

This is the episode where kody gives his wives the BEAUTIFUL joorey he designed just for them.  Meri received the heart with the latin word for loyalty.  Christine's just landed with a thud.

The Browns spent so much time rearranging the deck chairs on their little titanic.  They hit the iceberg a long time ago.  Meri jumped on her sinking lifeboat and boy, look where that got her.

I thought that kody really got the asshat edit last season.  Or, another way to put it, the true kody Brown edit.  But of course, an asshat never changes his strips. Or his pebbles Flintstone hair.

[toodles]

How did I start down this rabbit hole?  Oh yeah.  TLC started reruns and I came to this forum to post.  Damn you, TLC.

I went to MSWC just to see if there is anything new.  The website comes up, but if you click on the products it says URL not found.  So much for the $10 MILLION dollars they were supposed to make from the crap this year.

[toodles]

Mykelty' s registry is on the knot.  Lots of camping stuff,a $400 vitamix, a laptop, board games, books and something else that was pretty expensive.   I guess she needs the vitamix for her STRIVE smoothies.

[rainbowrockgal]

Do they seriously think they will be gifted with a lot of those items??? Really?

[Kohola3]

6 hours ago, rainbowrockgal said:

Do they seriously think they will be gifted with a lot of those items??? Really?

Sure.   In the twisted minds of the Brownies there are millions of adoring fans just panting to show their love and devotion.

[toodles]

Madison's registry was a normal bridal registry.  Mykelty has a different mother.  Maybe that explains the gift grab.

[SongbirdHollow]

I didn't think the registry was that bad. I mean, isn't the point to provide a wide range of $ choices? As long as the items on the list are things for the home or things that they'll enjoy together, I'm OK with it. I've seen way worse (looking at you, Duggars!)

However, if a "fan" or someone who doesn't know her personally sends her ANYTHING off that list, they're idiots.

[ginger90]

They have a toaster on the registry, oh no!