Episode Discussion: TFGH

[Chairperson Meow]

I haven't watched today's episode yet. But I will say this without even checking the DVR first- if anyone has a reason to drink, it's Micheal Quartermaine. That's why he can't have an addiction story. That dude has had a pretty shit life, if you think about it. He's had to listen to a robot read to him about Africa as a baby, his mother didn't want to hold him, then decides he's a trophy. Okay, so then Baby Micheal gets taken away from the Robot raising him to live in this house where "Mommy" makes out with a short greasy guy and fights with the short guy calling himself "Daddy". Then, boom. Now the greasy guy is your daddy, but not the Robot? Mommy keeps talking to you like you're her only friend (because you are) and everyone you like, you're told is a betrayer and other bad words. Then your daddy has meetings and suddenly you're a ginger. Mommy and daddy break up. But the short guy from the big house is like oh that new brother is their real kid they h8 u I'm ur dad. So you go with it because eh you're a kid. Then you learn hes your dad, not the other dude. Then you have this whole family of doctors and your real dad tries to kill your Robot. And somehow you think you killed your real dad. So then you start seeing stuff. Oh and your mom got shot. Then you get shot. And then you kill someone and you go to prison and get raped. You get out of prison, get a girlfriend, but a crane kills her. Then you get another girlfriend. But she leaves you because reasons. Your bio dad isn't dead and you reconnect, which is cool cuz your Robot died. You two totes get along and run the family business, but then your not dad kills him. You get a new girlfriend again, but she's a liar and a mooch. So you're sad and angry, but you'll survive. Just maybe cut the non bio criminal side of your fam out? NO THAT DOESNT WORK! You get drugged by your brother and your ex. Sigh.

See..... it's hard being Micheal. Won't someone be his friend? And I left parts out!

[ulkis]

I haven't watched today's episode yet. But I will say this without even checking the DVR first- if anyone has a reason to drink, it's Micheal Quartermaine. That's why he can't have an addiction story. That dude has had a pretty shit life, if you think about it. He's had to listen to a robot read to him about Africa as a baby, his mother didn't want to hold him, then decides he's a trophy. Okay, so then Baby Micheal gets taken away from the Robot raising him to live in this house where "Mommy" makes out with a short greasy guy and fights with the short guy calling himself "Daddy". Then, boom. Now the greasy guy is your daddy, but not the Robot? Mommy keeps talking to you like you're her only friend (because you are) and everyone you like, you're told is a betrayer and other bad words. Then your daddy has meetings and suddenly you're a ginger. Mommy and daddy break up. But the short guy from the big house is like oh that new brother is their real kid they h8 u I'm ur dad. So you go with it because eh you're a kid. Then you learn hes your dad, not the other dude. Then you have this whole family of doctors and your real dad tries to kill your Robot. And somehow you think you killed your real dad. So then you start seeing stuff. Oh and your mom got shot. Then you get shot. And then you kill someone and you go to prison and get raped. You get out of prison, get a girlfriend, but a crane kills her. Then you get another girlfriend. But she leaves you because reasons. Your bio dad isn't dead and you reconnect, which is cool cuz your Robot died. You two totes get along and run the family business, but then your not dad kills him. You get a new girlfriend again, but she's a liar and a mooch. So you're sad and angry, but you'll survive. Just maybe cut the non bio criminal side of your fam out? NO THAT DOESNT WORK! You get drugged by your brother and your ex. Sigh.

See..... it's hard being Micheal. Won't someone be his friend? And I left parts out!

 

Reading this, I think I want a drink right now, grrpants.

Edited April 17, 2015 by ulkis

[Lillybee]

If Patdick was so worried about Sam and Jake being alone together in her car for a few minutes, then why didn't he offer to take Jake back to the garage while Sam unpacked? His "let him take a bus" irritated me just as much as his "Robin's never visited" comment. (Of course, he didn't say, "I divorced her," either.) There are times where I've disagreed with folks calling him a douche, but today he really was. Although I still don't understand why the writers are painting him that way.

 

Since Sam moved in, have we seen the new "family" at all? And how much time has passed since Sam moved in? Has she been rinsing out her unmentionables in the sink every night? I guess it's a blessing that Emma is at  the NB rehearsals, because I'm sure she's being watched after carefully there. (eyeroll)

 

 

 

I think that Patprick gave her Robin's unmentionables to wear. He is such a douche. He never bothered to get Robin's stuff to her.

[HeatLifer]

Jakeson on Robin: I KNOW that woman.

He doesn't know or recognize Sonny, Carly, Liz, Sam, Monica, etc.

But he KNOWS Robin.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[Tiger]

Nathan & Ellie on Monday! Nathan & Ellie on Monday!! Nathan & Ellie on Monday!!!

[dubbel zout]

sorry for all the caps today. It was a capital letter kinda episode.

 

I feel you, ulkis. Reading anything about Olivia's story puts me into capsy rage. I'm trying not to get so het up about it, but the idiocy level is so off the charts.

 

What annoys me is how they keep having knock back more drinks. No, he's not a fuckin' drunk, Ron, he's not A.J., stop.

This might be the next thing that sends me into a capsy rage. OMFG, it's annoying and dumb at the same time.

Edited April 17, 2015 by dubbel zout

[HeatLifer]

It made NO sense for Patrick to be pissed and irritated that Jake thought he's seen Robin before. Such a weird writing choice. Anyone could have seen Robin. Like ulkis said, she's a well-known doctor in the area. And just because she hasn't "visited once", doesn't mean she wasn't there. How would Patrick know? How would he know she's even in Paris? The douche hasn't even spoken to her since last year.

Loved how Patrick lingered and stared at the picture while he was putting it back, though. JT putting in his seeeekret character motivation.

[decogirl]

My take on Silas is that he kidnapped and tested Avery (or tested her before), found her a match for Ava, put Ava in a coma, and will cure her with the baby's bone marrow. I love MW, so I want Ava alive and with both her daughters.

 

Nina is Keke's mother? How many times has her parentage been changed? Just no.  What about Ellie? Also, what happened to Rosalie?

 

I don't understand why Nikolas wants ELQ or stuffed the ballot box, so to speak. This is Helena and Fluke's plan, and unless she planted a chip in his brain, he wants nothing to do with her, right?

 

All Felix or Sabrina needed to do was type a description of the pill (size, shape, color, markings) into Google.  They could have had this shit solved in seconds.

 

Or look it up in the Physicians' Desk Reference. Every hospital in America has one on every floor. It's stupid shit like that that infuriates me.

Edited April 17, 2015 by decogirl

[Oracle42]

11% of a multi-billion company. How is this dumb paternity secret worth more money than it would cost to fake a paternity test?

Please tell me this is leading up to a who decapitated Franco story

Edited April 17, 2015 by Oracle42

[TeeVee329]

My take on Silas is that he kidnapped and tested Avery (or tested her before), found her a match for Ava, put Ava in a coma, and will cure her with the baby's bone marrow.

 

And then will hopefully be immediately arrested for harboring a fugitive and kidnapping a minor.

[Chairperson Meow]

Jakeson on Robin: I KNOW that woman.

He doesn't know or recognize Sonny, Carly, Liz, Sam, Monica, etc.

But he KNOWS Robin.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Not fair. He hasn't even seen Monica.

[Gigi43]

Ned, I'm sure Edward wouldn't support giving the guy that hired his grandson raped actual spit from a Q for any reason. Shut up.

[OnceSane]

So much STFU to hand out and so little time. Ned, Olivia, WE NEVER CARED, please report to the front of the line. You're getting jack slapped while you wait. And let me guess, now that Ned gave up his shares and WK has a contract at DAYS…the paternity secret will come out in about two weeks, making his already stupid and unnecessary sacrifice even more worthless. Just like Ava killing Kannie.

And WE NEVER CARED needs to sit the fuck down with her butt hurt feelings. Try not kidnapping a kid and maybe you won't be a suspect the next time said kid goes missing. Because the kid will go missing again, this is Port Charles.

I didn't mind Sam's explanation for Jake recognizing Robin, it made sense. But my toddler throws better than Jake and that's just sad. Because my toddler sucks at throwing.

Carly and Spinelli together, who do I have to kill with fire to stop this? *PleasesayFrancopleasesayFranco*

[HeatLifer]

Not fair. He hasn't even seen Monica.

I know, I know. But weeeeeee! He knows Robin. <3 <3 <3 <3

[Chairperson Meow]

I know, I know. But weeeeeee! He knows Robin. <3 <3 <3 <3

Awesome Writer must have snuck in a few pages today.

[ulkis]

I think CD is very good at certain things, and less good, shall we say, at others. I think Michael's drugged rampages are hysterical but I also think they're not being played entirely serious at times. They're certainly not his finest hours, but no actor on this show has been Olivier 24/7.

 

I can't disagree there

 

 

I still love ya, boo.

Edited April 17, 2015 by ulkis

[peachmangosteen]

He's not that great of an actor, but he also has the facial features of a bunny, which are emphasized when he scrunches his face. I expect his nose to wriggle at any moment.

 

Damn, this literally all I will see now when he scrunches his face in anger.

 

Nathan & Ellie on Monday! Nathan & Ellie on Monday!! Nathan & Ellie on Monday!!!

 

Best part of the ep. I squeed.

 

I fast forwarded a good 60-70% of this ep. And the stuff I watched was still kinda rage inducing.

 

The Ned/Olivia stuff could've been so good, but it was tainted by their appalling stupidity and the fact that we know Ned's out the door soon. 

 

I watched bits and pieces of the Carly/Spinelli scenes and somehow they're not as awful around each other as they normally are. Weird. Somehow their combined awfulness offsets or something. But still, stupid and boring scenes.

 

Jakeson is kind of an asshole. BM annoys me. Although I guess he is being a bit more Jason like. Again, that's probably why I full-on hate him now. Patrick being such a dick to him was kinda fun for me. 

 

I still like Fake Jake. That actor is bad in an entertaining way. I'd rather watch him than, say, Franco.

 

The stuff with Nik/Hayden is so forced and try-hard and it just embarrasses me.

Edited April 17, 2015 by peachmangosteen

[Francie]

Ellie and Nathan and Anna and Dante are my two favorite couples on this show right now.

 

The GH in my head is a wonderful, wonderful place.  It's filled with romance, intrigue, and homes with doors and locks instead of hotel rooms and Carly and her ubiquitous master key.

Edited April 17, 2015 by Francie

[jsbt]

I can't disagree there

 

 

I still love ya, boo.

 

That's exactly who I was thinking of (in addition to TG and many others), but I thought, 'why sandpaper the wound?'

[ulkis]

The stuff with Nik/Hayden is so forced and try-hard and it just embarrasses me.

 

I think the irresistible sex is working on Hayden's part, but not on Nik's. I mean, they should have at least had him come to her place, to show that it was really good and Nik wanted more. Instead, she had to come to him, and then he even sighed in frustration that his servant couldn't answer the door that he himself was closer to than said servant. After that, it just looks like Nikolas' usual, "well, someone is offering me sex, I guess I'll do it. Hope my son who just fucking pops up out of nowhere all the time doesn't just walk in. Good thing he has a mask on his face, I can just tell him to shift it."

 

I still lie Fake Jake. That actor is bad in an entertaining way. I'd rather watch him than, say, Franco.

 

I'm repelled and attracted to him? It's weird. I'm still for Ric killing him, not being I hate him, but because not killing him just makes Ric look even more spineless. If you're gonna be a stalker, at least try not to be spineless!

 

I watched bits and pieces of the Carly/Spinelli scenes and somehow they're not as awful around each other as they normally are. Weird. Somehow their combined awfulness offsets or something. But still, stupid and boring scenes.

 

 

I liked it when he said, "you're not gonna barge in there, right?" and she replied "a-ha! already did!" Sometimes she does show a smidgen of self-awareness.

[peachmangosteen]

I'm repelled and attracted to him? It's weird. I'm still for Ric killing him, not being I hate him, but because not killing him just makes Ric look even more spineless. If you're gonna be a stalker, at least try not to be spineless!

 

I get the repelled and attracted thing because I feel the same way. But yea, honestly, Ric needs to kill him. Ric is just embarrassing at this point. And all this for Liz. FUCKING LIZ!

 

That being said, Liz looked so pretty today and not as scarily thin. Although I only saw her through fast forward so.

Edited April 17, 2015 by peachmangosteen

[HeatLifer]

Awesome Writer must have snuck in a few pages today.

I loved how Sam was like, "Liz has pics of Robin all around her house." Um, no, Sam, she has a shrine of your husband, though.

And lovvvved how Jase said, "Must be it.....," like he was still unconvinced. Investigate it, Jason! No one else is!

[ulkis]

I get the repelled and attracted thing because I feel the same way. But yea, honestly, Ric needs to kill him. Ric is just embarrassing at this point. And all this for Liz. FUCKING LIZ!

 

That being said, Liz looked so pretty today and not as scarily thin. Although I only saw her through fast forward so.

 

I forgot about Ric getting her flowers for the second day in a row. I know Ric is crazy, but even he has to know that repels instead of attracts. Oh, the writers love to slather on subtlety like butter on a muffin.

[Tiger]

I want to slather rat poison on a muffin and then shove it down Freakco's throat.

[TheGourmez]

Not fair. He hasn't even seen Monica.

 

Plus, he dreamed of Robin while he was resisting his brainwashing, so he *has* seen Robin and having her in his subconscious probably makes it easier for him to recognize her.

 

Wait, why am I trying to justify this? JASON <3s ROBIN 4EVA!

[LeftPhalange]

Franco has been on every single day this week. Every. Single. Day.

 

Does Ron think he's clever by having Greenlee say a bunch of lame ass innuendos?

 

What's the point of putting Olivia and Ned together and then letting WK jump ship? Ron is useless.

 

Ric is a loser.

[HeatLifer]

Wait, why am I trying to justify this? JASON <3s ROBIN 4EVA!

Yessssssss.

"If I never saw you again, you'd still be the most important thing in my life."

<3 <3 <3

[rur]

Ned-Olivia is probably setting up LL' s maternity exit. She and Ned will take off together, and she'll come back alone in a few months for . . . reasons.

Edited April 17, 2015 by rur

[BestestAuntEver]

I need HELP!

I can skip and delete this show with no problem lately. I even know that KMc is doing well, directing TV shows, writing /developing a series, in thw initial phase of directing a movie, networking, spending time with her friends and family and traveling.....yet I still tune in for a decent Robin reference.

My JnR loving heart loves that Robin is Jason's conscious and the one he remembers.

Also, why are RHe and BH's hair the same color?

[Gigi43]

I liked it when he said, "you're not gonna barge in there, right?" and she replied "a-ha! already did!" Sometimes she does show a smidgen of self-awareness.

I kinda loved when she and Liz went into the hotel room a few weeks go, Hayden asked if Carly always busts in on guests and she was all "whenever I feel I need too!" After that its all on the guests for continuing to stay... Edited April 17, 2015 by Gigi43

[dubbel zout]

I bet Alfred couldn't wait on Nik because he was dealing with his drama queen son. That's what you get for letting Spencer run riot over the staff, Nik.

 

I still like Fake Jake.

He looks like Justin Timberlake today to me. And why don't people understand that once you give into a blackmailer, you'll be paying them forever? Everyone acts shocked! that they come back for more. Duh.

 

That's exactly who I was thinking of (in addition to TG and many others), but I thought, 'why sandpaper the wound?'

 

Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.

 

"well, someone is offering me sex, I guess I'll do it. Hope my son who just fucking pops up out of nowhere all the time doesn't just walk in."

Instead it was his aunt. Hee. And Nik is so gross.

[HeatLifer]

I need HELP!

I can skip and delete this show with no problem lately. I even know that KMc is doing well, directing TV shows, writing /developing a series, in thw initial phase of directing a movie, networking, spending time with her friends and family and traveling.....yet I still tune in for a decent Robin reference.

My JnR loving heart loves that Robin is Jason's conscious and the one he remembers.

Also, why are RHe and BH's hair the same color?

The one thing this show hasn't destroyed? Robin and Jason. I'll take it.

[TeeVee329]

 And why don't people understand that once you give into a blackmailer, you'll be paying them forever? Everyone acts shocked! that they come back for more. Duh.

 

Double duh!  I'm sure Ned and Olivia will eventually be SHOCKED when Franco blurts out the secret anyway.

[TeeVee329]

Previews...shut up, Lulu.  Hey, you don't like that Valerie is hanging out with Dante?  Why don't YOU try and get to know her!  Hell, why not have a girls' night with her and Maxie instead of defaulting into your shrew-y, baby rabies mode!

Edited April 17, 2015 by TeeVee329

[dubbel zout]

Wow, Patrick was pissy when Jake said he recognized Robin. That's what bothers him, not that 98 percent of his conversations with Sam have something to do with Jake? Oh, Patrick.

 

I'm sure Ned and Olivia will eventually be SHOCKED when Franco blurts out the secret anyway.

 

Ned and/or Olivia: "Franco, you promised you wouldn't tell!"

Franco: "I'm A SERIAL KILLER. What don't you people understand about that?"

[HeatLifer]

Wow, Patrick was pissy when Jake said he recognized Robin. That's what bothers him, not that 98 percent of his conversations with Sam have something to do with Jake? Oh, Patrick.

I find that reax SO strange. Like, Jake was genuinely saying she looked familiar and Patrick was like, "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! Maybe she has one of those faces!! She never visits!!"

Like, damn.

[ulkis]

Previews...shut up, Lulu.  Hey, you don't like that Valerie is hanging out with Dante?  Why don't YOU try and get to know her!  Hell, why not have a girls' night with her and Maxie instead of defaulting into your shrew-y, baby rabies mode!

 

We have no idea what she's complaining about yet though. Honestly, she didn't even sound that miffed to me in the previews.

[TeeVee329]

We have no idea what she's complaining about yet though. Honestly, she didn't even sound that miffed to me in the previews.

 

Well, consider it a preemptive strike, I can only imagine.  "My cousin is such a bitch.  I have made no effort to get to know her, but she's getting along with Dante, who's actually taken the time to talk to her.  The nerve!"

 

Plus Lulu and Valerie are

wearing the outfits they are in the trailer when Lulu walks in and sees Valerie and Dante hugging.

[movingtargetgal]

Now that Ned is leaving can Michael please call Jax, his beloved stepfather and corporate raider, for help with this ELQ crisis.  While he is back in Port Charles Jax could give Morgan some of the parental ass kicking that he richly deserves.

[ulkis]

Well, consider it a preemptive strike, I can only imagine. 

 

Well, if Valerie and Lulu get in a fight, I'm sure Lulu will get over it the next day, like she did when she and Maxie fought ;)

Edited April 18, 2015 by ulkis

[cmahorror]

Wow, Patrick was pissy when Jake said he recognized Robin. That's what bothers him, not that 98 percent of his conversations with Sam have something to do with Jake? Oh, Patrick.

I find that reax SO strange. Like, Jake was genuinely saying she looked familiar and Patrick was like, "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! Maybe she has one of those faces!! She never visits!!"

Like, damn.

 

Denial - it's not just a river in Egypt.

 

Seriously, Patrick showed more genuine emotion in that one longing look at Robin's picture than he has in anything in almost a year.

 

That or JT is just saying a silent prayer the KMc comes back and he gets to have a real storyline and character arc that makes sense again.

[ulkis]

okay, I went to look at Chad Duell's imdb page out of curiousity, and it is probably the best picture of him that I've seen, heh. He looks like not a bunny and his age!

 

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3212798/

Edited April 18, 2015 by ulkis

[Cattitude]

Not fair. He hasn't even seen Monica.

 

Who???

 

and also Liz said she had son(S) so there is Cameron and who else?.....b/c I got nothin'.

okay, I went to look at Chad Duell's imdb page out of curiousity, and it is probably the best picture of him that I've seen, heh. He looks like not a bunny and his age!

 

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3212798/

 

I call BS on that picture. Someone photoshoped in Reese Witherspoon's chin implant. No way CD's had that defined long chin.<crosses arms shakes head>

[Blackie]

Ned-Olivia is probably setting up LL' s maternity exit. She and Ned will take off together, and she'll come back alone in a few months for . . . reasons.

 

And then Valerie and Dante can bond while she is gone.

[HeatLifer]

Denial - it's not just a river in Egypt.

Seriously, Patrick showed more genuine emotion in that one longing look at Robin's picture than he has in anything in almost a year.

That or JT is just saying a silent prayer the KMc comes back and he gets to have a real storyline and character arc that makes sense again.

Well, he'll get to have actual emotions instead of presenting Sam with baked goods and giving her chaste kisses.

I CANNOT WAIT until Jason remembers and he asks those idiots where Robin is. Eeeeeeeee.

[Lola16]

This is the show that let Lulu sue for custody of a child of another woman because that woman and she had a surrogacy contract for an entirely different child. 

 

But in the real world, no.

I meant does Ellie already have legal standing with Georgie --- does Spinelli have sole custody or is it joint with Ellie?

[boes]

WHAT a great episode, right??  I mean, come ON, how could anyone resist how Show is SO going to put Carly and Spinelli together - FINALLY.  Those two just spark SEXAAAY in a way I haven't seen since....well, the other day, with Duke and Lucy.  YUP, i say HUBBA, and then again, another HUBBA.  Cuz they're both just that good....

The way Carly was undressing him with her eyes, the way Spin was weaving his web of sensuality with his verbiage.  The man is a GOD.  And Carly, well, she's......I have to admit there just isn't really a word (at least one I can use here) that can adequately express what I think she is.

 

Seriously - Carly should just want to whack this little snot-nosed drivel dipshit to death, or at least whip out her elongated tongue and poison him.  To put it kindly, Spin is more the kind of guy Carly would run down and then back over instead of bonding over memories of their dead hand puppet.

 

I want to slather rat poison on a muffin and then shove it down Freakco's throat.

 

You weren't feeling sorry for the guy when nutcase Nina got all sad and schmoopy cuz she didn't think he believed her?  Ahhh, the poor guy.  Now wouldn't it be said if she went all Hannibal Lector on him?  And wouldn't it be even better if ALL Franco and Nina scenes happened OFF SCREEN??

 

Does Ron think he's clever by having Greenlee say a bunch of lame ass innuendos?

 

Ric is a loser.

 

Ron C. has certainly made HayLee into a class act, hasn't he?  Forget about that boat she supposedly took over to Spoon Island - she undoubtedly slithered over there like some sort of mud eel.  She and Count Dickolas do make a nice couple, though.  Nothing says class like screwing on a sticky couch in the only real room in Wyndemere.  That poor housekeeping staff.....

 

Why doesn't Ric remind FakeJake that his brother is Moobs McStutterbug?  And let him think that bad things could happen....that FakeJake could end up with a fake orange tan and permanently oily hair if he doesn't get lost?  Things could get messy.

[OnceSane]

I meant does Ellie already have legal standing with Georgie --- does Spinelli have sole custody or is it joint with Ellie?

Spinelli has sole custody.

[ulkis]

Ron C. has certainly made HayLee into a class act, hasn't he?  Forget about that boat she supposedly took over to Spoon Island - she undoubtedly slithered over there like some sort of mud eel.  She and Count Dickolas do make a nice couple, though.  Nothing says class like screwing on a sticky couch in the only real room in Wyndemere.  That poor housekeeping staff.....

 

That's probably why Alfred didn't come down, he knew Nik was gonna have sex in the living room soon, someway, somehow. Alfred knows Nikolas better than Nikolas knows himself.

Edited April 18, 2015 by ulkis

[HeatLifer]

Nik and Hayden make absolutely NO freaking sense. Hayden is one of the worst characters and...

I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought describing the norm on this show.