boes

Not exactly. Chelsea gave the son she had with ButtBiscuit to him and Victoria to raise. Adam relinquished his claim to Christian, the kid he had with Sage aka Ol' Hammertoes, to Nick. So this article will hurt Adam, Victor, AND ButtBiscuit?!?!?!? Be still, my heart. I see no downsides to this whatsoever. The 3 Billy Goats Gruff all implode, a bedtime story that all the kiddies throughout the land can enjoy. They better leave Chance alone, though. I'm liking him and Abby a lot so mock me if you must. Hey Amanda, your dearly departed twin was a truly unpleasant piece of work. Count yourself lucky to be seeing Hilary in the back mirror. What's with Adam's manly waddle? He's done it before, in occasion, but now it's all the time. Diaper rash? Show, stop trying to make ButtBiscuit work. He just doesn't. Putting him a three piece suit makes him look like some preacher with a 3 am show on Public Access. Set him free to just be who he is. Dance ButtBiscuit, dance!

Show is trying too hard with these storylines and ignoring the best mystery of all - namely, how did a baked, honey-glazed ham and the Crypt Keeper's (much) older sister manage to reproduce a (possibly) human baby? Whether or not Kristen is found guilty of attempted murder of not, she certainly should get a long sentence for over-acting. Brady's punishment should be served with a side of potato salad.

My only caveat to your most excellent post......Brady is about as much a boy toy as Kristen is too young to be a mother.

I don't think Nikki can do justice to being both COO of Newman and the enforcer for the Newman Family Cult. Nikki and Victor are always going to be together, I know, but I enjoyed Nikki more when she was more detached from Victor's machinations and felt no compunction about poking that gasbag when he needed it. I'm unclear on how this Adam story could "destroy" either the company or the family, especially when both have weathered far more horrendous crap from Victor himself over the years. All of the Newmans are awful, they're just different flavors. Nikki did look fabulous today. Not spiteful, Phyllis? You? When did you abandon spitefulness as one of your guiding principles, because it must have been after the last time you saw Abby or any life form other than Nick. Spite is your blood type, Phyllis. Thanks to Joimiaroxeu's comment in an earlier post that Phyllis looked like a giraffe today, the visuals on her conversation with ButtBiscuit in his best undertaker suit made it impossible for me to concentrate on their dialogue. Those two are perfect together. When Kyle walked into the kitchen of Society I scared the dog by saying out loud to the tv screen, "I'd kill him". What an absolute prick, to go see your ex the same day she got the divorce papers. He really thinks his thongs don't stink, doesn't he? Jack lost one kid to Nick and right now I'd be fine if he lost Kyle to him or Victor or anyone else, too. That narcissistic prick, thinking that all roads lead back to Kyle. I hope he and Dummer DO get married and I hope he keeps Phyllis as a mother-in-law for a loooooooooooooong loooooooooooooong time. He deserves it, and more. Theo is stirring up some shit and I'm all for it. Couldn't happen to a nicer group.

I know! That face! If it got stretched any tighter he'd be hearing out of his nostrils. He looks like one of those creepy ventriloquist puppets. Fadda, your son and heir is home! I guess Show thinks that they can make us care about this Ally storyline but I already don't believe a word out of her mouth. She's such an unpleasant, mooching boor I can't believe anyone would willingly spend 10 minutes with her. I liked NuClaire at the start but now she's working my last nerves with all this Ciara tribute crap. What is she going to suggest, they hold a bonfire? Lani, Kristen, Ally, Nibbles, NuClaire, Crispy Ciara, Julie, Smarmy Nicole, Baby-voiced Sarah, Show isn't exactly going out of its way to create or support any worthwhile heroines. Right now my favorite character is Harold.

Absolute gold, Joimiaroxeu! I think "I don't think the high-waisted pants look works on Phyllis. She looked like a giraffe in slacks to me." is going to keep me laughing for the rest of the week. Not to mention every other golden nugget of your post. Well done!

That sounds just like Abigail, doesn't it? Remember when she was basically auctioning off her virginity and the two highest bidders were Chad and Cameron? Abigail had taken some sort of purity pledge and whichever guy debased or impressed her the most "won" her as the prize. And Abigail only managed to get WORSE from there. Ally's Horton genes appear to be dominant.

Elena, eat your picnic lunch and shut up. Just be grateful Devon isn't asking you to wear a Hillary mask. Besides, how can Devon know which Elena he's going to be seeing that day? In the past you've gone on rants about getting Amanda to leave town and the next day, turn around and admonish Devon for not being nicer to her. Here, have some pie. It's your favorite. That was a whole lot of talking about Easy Bake Avery, Phyllis' sister, and one more in a long line of Nick's almost-wives. Of course you and Avery didn't get along - she not only knew how to cook, she also knew how full of crap she was, and pretty much debunked Phyllis' creation myth about how she fought her way up from the bottom. Avery made it really clear that Phyllis fell out of the highest tree in the Hamptons and landed SPLAT in her very own trust fund before fleeing her investment banker father and family. Her conversation with Amanda was okay, until she had to start complaining about how she's always an "outsider", sniff, sniff. So much of an outsider that she's gotten multiple settlements in her various divorces from Genoa City's richest and dumbest men. She's less The Little Match Girl and more, Jaws the Sequel. I used to like Kyle, a lot. But now, it's like watching some unholy Ken Doll come to life. When is somebody going to realize that all Kyle really likes is planning weddings and getting married. He's like the Genoa City version of Charo.

Hey Nicole, think you could get through a whole day without trashing Sami? She's not even in town. Take that halo you're wearing and stick it someplace the.....baby can't get ahold of it. This whole storyline about Kristen not being punished for stabbing Victor is so strange. If it's some sort of redemption storyline for that stutterbarking murderous nutcase, it's more heavy-handed than Brady's overuse of the tanning booth. If it's supposed to showcase Lani's loyalty, it's falling as flat Julie's attempts to be endearing. Lani is absolutely ugly to anyone who doesn't share her opinion that Kristen is a helluva person and that motherhood absolves all sins - unless you're Gabi. She's demanding, condescending, a real pain in the ass and just about the worst cop Salem's ever had and that's a high bar. She dumps Rachel on her Dad so she can go visit the psychopath and now she's making him keep watching the baby so she can go the arraignment. She's emotionally manipulated Eli, the man she supposedly loves and the only person she seems to give a rats ass about is Kristen. It's the definition of tone deaf for her to ignore Melinda's grief - isn't she a mother whose kid was killed?, while celebrating Kristen's motherhood at the same time. Does Show think they can force us to cheer Kristen on because her dinosaur egg finally hatched? Does Show think we automatically like Lani because they tell us to? Brady's an idiot who's always been led by his dick, but now John also wants Kristen freed? Marlena's got a pet serial killer - the whole town has lost their mind. If only aliens would abduct Lani for a nice leisurely probe on their one way trip to Alpha Centauri...... if only. Ally is such a pouty ass. She and Lani should be friends, that'll teach her.

It'll depend on her toenails. Ever since Ol' Hammertoes, our boy has a type. And if she's into dirty drop cloths and I'm not talking about his underwear.

MollyB, that's the BEST news, the absolute best! I'm so happy for you.

Well, she is when it suits her. Or when she gets a discount.

I enjoyed today's show. Not everything and not everyone but in general, it held my interest and held a certain tension level that kept me paying attention. I'm enjoying Victoria more than I have in longer than I can remember. Whether what she's doing is a good idea or not, she's got an edge that I like and a take no prisoners attitude that has been far too long in coming. Partnering with ButtBiscuit is a disaster, so she loses points for that, but still, it's holding my interest. Chelsea looked like one of the Guard Monkeys from the Wicked Witch of the West on a day off, which I guess is a step up for her. Against my will, I'm liking Chance and really liking Chance and Abby - Abby looked really good today, too, I thought - and if Adam had any sense he'd not antagonize Chance. Adam is the sort of blustering bully who would burst into tears if Chance ever really challenged him. Adam is fine scurrying behind the scenes, doing dirt, talking trash, but he's got all the courage of a roof rat. I LOVED Nikki and Lily today, especially Lily standing up to Nikki and telling her, politely, but forcefully, to stuff it. I especially enjoyed her telling Nikki not to try and play on Neil's memory. That's not a memory for Nikki to use, since it's doesn't take much to remember all the crap Victor pulled that adversely affected Neil and his family over the years. There's not enough whitewash in the world for that tactic to fly with anyone, Nikki. Don't forget who you're married to. Anyway, all of this will probably fizzle out but today, I liked it . Faith is looking so grown up!

"Things are more interesting when you're around", Lucas says to Sami as she's leaving. Truer words were never spoken. I'm going to miss her. Especially since we're left with the intolerable self-involved sourpuss that is Ally and Nicole who's turned into Julie Lite. With any luck, lil' Henry Lucas Horton will suddenly realize what a house of harpies he's living in and change his name to I think this whole business that Ally should keep her child and raise it herself is pretty stupid, and dismissive towards the idea of adoption. I'm not sure what the great thing about being raised in the Horton/Brady clan is supposed to be, exactly. Not a big surprise, but Ben's not all that bright. As soon as hears that Ciara might not have burnt up like an overdone S'more, he throughs his thongs in Ciara's suitcase and bolts out the door. To where? Is he just going to roam the country shouting "CIAARRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAA"? Would we, could we, be that lucky? So, Nibbles.......50 points for hating Abby, so she's ahead already. I like MM so much more than KM as Abigail, but she's still Abigail.....so why does Gwen hate her? I put Gwen's name through an anagram decoder and got nothing, really. Oh, there's chizz crew gen and wencher gizz and whizzer gen, and while they all are verging on profanities, as well as fine names for that doomed infant of Ally's, they give us no real clues. As for her maybe being Rolf's daughter, I just can't - and don't wish to - imagine that Rolf ever had sexual relations with anything terrestrial. Remember years ago when some old nanny of Abigail's had obviously lost her mind and left Abigail some valuable land in Ireland? Land that Stefano wanted? Now even though Gwen definitely doesn't sound Irish, I don't put it past Show to think one accent sounds like any other and decide to reach that far back and make Gwen the disinherited granddaughter of the nanny who gave everything to Abigail. The only other motive I can come up with is that Gwen is just one more longtime viewer who has had it with this character and somehow came onto the show to finish her once and for all. Or, it just could be a bad case of whizzer gen. The next time Nicole has to change lil' Henry Lucas Horton, I hope the kid pees in her face.

If Bonnie is Adrienne, I hope Show gets on with it. While I love Judi Evans, Bonnie Lockhart makes my skin crawl and Justin's involvement with her makes him look even dumber than usual. Those scenes of him and Jack at the Brady Pub, though, those were good. Ben, you're right, your life has no meaning, absolutely none, without Ciara. Maybe you'd do better searching for a reason to life somewhere else - maybe Antartica? Marlena, stop with the hushed tones and worried, concerned looks and just take Ben along to a Naked Yoga session, it'll make you both feel terrific. Marlena shows a lot more compassion for her serial killer crush than she does for her own daughter. Not a good look, Doc. John! Nice to know that he thinks Doc comforting Ben is as ridiculous as many of us do.