S10.E05: Game Changer

[BucFan]

I should not be reading this thread. My mother died 37 years ago today, I was 19 years old. I'm going to go cry now :(

[motorcitymom65]

I'm not a Heather fan, but, in this mess of humanity if I had to get an upsetting phone call while playing some tedious game, she's the one I'd want to have there.

I liked Heather in that scene very much. I think that was the real Heather. Vicki gave her huge credit in her blog, saying that she has always been a great friend to her. She did the same thing last year after being filmed calling her out for making her feel "less than" because she didn't have as much money. Vicki said she was incorrect when she said that and that Heather had never been anything except 100% supportive, especially when it came to Brooks. She has said in the past that while everyone else seemed more interested in finding reasons to not like Brooks, that Heather and Terry tried to get to know him because he made Vicki happy. They had every reason to not like him if the are indeed elitists, but they were the ones who tried to make him feel welcome. While I don't understand Heather's friendship with Tamra, I respect it. Tamra has always said that Heather is the one person on the show who has always supported her off camera no matter what. I have always thought that the quickest way for Heather to secure favorite HW status on this show would be to kick Tamra to the curb. Folks would throw her a parade and she has to know that. Still, she never has. Heather is the only HW example, except perhaps for Heather and Carole on the NY show, who has always proven to be a loyal friend, even when Tamra and Vicki are not loyal back.

I especially liked that she didn't take the call with Terry on speaker, and wonder why Vicki took the call with her brother on speaker. In that moment Heather did exactly what I would have done. She called her husband and told him what had happened, and told him she loved him. She was very emotional, and It seemed really real to me.

Edited July 11, 2015 by motorcitymom65

[zenme]

I understand Vicki saying, who will worry about me....I just do.

 

I agree.  I think there few people in this world who love us truly unconditionally.  My heart goes out to Vicki. 

[motorcitymom65]

Really, Heather's acting was much more real than many of the so-called career things most of these women have done. (Lol I am still in shock that the gym is actually open and running...) but it is not like Alexis' dress designs etc...Heather had a decent career and was good in that family drama. So let's give her that, even if she has sunk to a cartoon character rich girl persona now.

Agreed. Just my opinion, but even if I don't like a girl, I let her have her successes. 3 sitcoms plus 6 episodes in that drama she did last year means that she is an actual actress and she has every right to refer to herself as such.

There has been a similar conversation over on Vulture for weeks about Carole by a few people that hate her. That she shouldn't call herself a Writer simply because she wrote two books. According to them, that makes Brandi a Writer too. Crazy talk as far as I am concerned. There are lots of people in my life I don't much like, but it doesn't mean they aren't good at what they do.

[zenme]

Agreed. Just my opinion, but even if I don't like a girl, I let her have her successes.

 

I also agree.  The girl needs to have her "acculades."  (TM Nene Leakes)  Can't stand Heather, but I gotta admit, I did like "That's Life!" or whatever the hell the name of that show was.  She's no Meryl Streep though.

[sasha206]

never watched any of the shows she was in but I do remember the name "Heather Paige Kent."  The fact that she starred in several shows is impressive, yes she's an actress.  However, I think at her age, the only acting jobs she will now get after being out of the biz for so long are due to her Real Housewives fame.  

 

Look how cute she once was.  I think she needs to gain some weight.  She had a cute figure back then and with a little more weight looked awesome.

Edited July 11, 2015 by sasha206

[Box305]

My heart broke for Vicki. I went through the lose of my Dad last fall. It's hard.

 

Same here. I basically reacted the same way as Vicki when I found out there was nothing we could do to bring him back. 

[DrSparkles]

No.  I thought the exact same thing when my Mom died.  Your Mother is the only one in the World who truly, truly worries about you like only a Mother can.  I knew once my Mother died I would never have that again.  It's sad and scary.  I loved my Mom with all my heart and I was bawling watching this episode.  So sad.

I'm 51, never married, no kids, 1 somewhat self-absorbed brother. You have written exactly what I've never been able to articulate. My biggest fear, more than cancer even, is my mom dying. We're great friends & she is my champion. There's only one mama.

My condolences.

[This2getsold]

You're so right! I grew up having "respect your elders" as a rule too but that was back in the "fire and brimstone" days. Once I was out in the business world, like you I came to realize that it doesn't apply across the board IMHO. Respect has to be earned and I still believe that even though I'm closer to the "elder" category than ever.

I haven't been posting much here on the OC because I find it far less interesting than NY so I'm playing catch up in this thread. I've seen posts suggesting that Briana contacted someone or texted Vicki to have her call on a land line for privacy since the HWs typically use their cell phones on speaker. That just doesn't make sense to me. If that "land line" call was for that purpose, why was the lighting and camera crew there ready to film? While I don't doubt Vicki's grief, I do believe that scene was reenacted or staged.

The production company I know has everyone turn their phone off during filming. One of the producers has the only phone that isn't shut off in case someone needs to get a hold of someone on set. The production costs are very high and it would be a nightmare if cell phones were not shut off. If they make a call or get a call during filming, that is set up. Not random at all.

I don't know if this call about mom's death was a set up or not. Those who think it is could be right. The production company that does RHW are the ultimate professionals. There are dozens of people on set when filming. About 6 to 8 camera men. Two probably followed Vicki onto the kitchen.

Vicki signed a contract about filming. She's paid a lot of money to film her life for a few months. I'm not saying broadcasting her moms passing was right. It's not my moms passing nor am I under contract with Bravo. Death is a part of life. We all experience it eventually. Showing her moms passing did manage to softened my attitude towards Vicki. A little.

 

I'm sorry for all who've lost mom or dad. In that group also. Its hard not to have compassion when you've been through it. 

Edited July 12, 2015 by This2getsold

[sasha206]

I had the opposite reaction when my dad died.  He had Stage IV cancer and I watched him suffer.  The mourning period was for the diagnosis and the ongoing treatments.  Four months later when there was nothing more they could do, it was an awful realization and then I found myself glad that he passed quickly and there was an end to his suffering.  So of course, I can't imagine what it would be like to have a parent who seems really healthy and dies suddenly and dealing with the shock of it all.

[This2getsold]

 

Making your living in arts isn't for the feint of heart. My own son set his sights on being a glass worker, got into the best program in the country, bless his lil heart. After the first year he called me and said he'd decided to change from artistic glass (pretty wine glasses, jewelry, lighting  and the like) and transfer to scientific glass (high end custom stuff for labs, medical research, chemical or petroleum companies and the like-very technical and within extremely tight guidelines). He's now making completely legal and stupid expensive bongs selling in the 4-5 figures. Whatever.

Went with a friend to the 'smoking accessories' show over in Vegas.  These guys are making works of art!  And you aren't lying about the prices.  

[parisprincess]

I know that Vicki's family doesn't approve of Brooks, but she is with him and it pisses me off that he wasn't allowed to be at her side at her mom's funeral.  I can't help but feel that Brianna and her asshole husband were behind that.  I hated my mom's brother (for a very good reason), but when she passed and he wanted to attend the graveside service, I allowed it, although I stayed away from him and never, ever saw him again. 

[zenme]

I know that Vicki's family doesn't approve of Brooks, but she is with him and it pisses me off that he wasn't allowed to be at her side at her mom's funeral.  I can't help but feel that Brianna and her asshole husband were behind that.

 

I agree.  Under the circumstances, Vicki deserved to have Brooks by her side.  Also, Vicki's mother deserved to have as many pay respects as would have liked to come. 

[Bronzedog]

I would think they'd want Brooks there so he could "be in charge" of Vicki during the funeral since I'm sure she was a lot to handle.

[RedHawk]

My feeling about Brooks being at the funeral is colored by my mother not wanting my then boyfriend to sit with me (although of course he attended) at my dad's funeral when I was a teenager. She didn't want everyone to "get the impression" that we were engaged or something. My dad had nothing against the kid, it was just my mom's controlling nature. There I was, broken apart, and she kept my boyfriend away from me. UGH. Brooks lives with Vicki. Keeping him away from the funeral is just rude and cruel.

 

Anyway, unless there is evidence that Brooks is actively conning Vicki (stealing money, etc.) or abusing her, then it's HER life, HER money, HER choice to have him around. I didn't watch for a couple of seasons because I was sick of Tamra and her creepy Ryan as well as Brianna and her even creepier Ryan. So I haven't seen that Brooks is such a terrible guy. Ok, he's living off Vicki I guess. And some things in his past make him look like a not great guy. Still, her choice. Rich, successful, famous men make that choice about women of poor character all the time.

Edited July 12, 2015 by RedHawk

[This2getsold]

Vicki is a 50 + year old woman. Who would tell her she can't have Brooks at her mom's funeral? 

smh 

[AnnA]

As much as I dislike Vicki (and Brooks) I think if she wanted him there, he should have gone to the funeral with her.  Vicki is not a child and her brother and daughter shouldn't be telling her what to do at her own mother's funeral.

[motorcitymom65]

As much as I dislike Vicki (and Brooks) I think if she wanted him there, he should have gone to the funeral with her.  Vicki is not a child and her brother and daughter shouldn't be telling her what to do at her own mother's funeral.

For some reason, I thought that Vicki's brother liked him. I'm fuzzy on the details, but didn't he once have a conversation with Ryan about Brooks? Ryan was explaining to him that Brooks wasn't allowed in the house while they were living there, and Vicki's brother was trying to explain they he and Brianna had no right to run Vicki's life? Someone help here because I might just have made that up in my own head. 

[AnnA]

For some reason, I thought that Vicki's brother liked him. I'm fuzzy on the details, but didn't he once have a conversation with Ryan about Brooks? Ryan was explaining to him that Brooks wasn't allowed in the house while they were living there, and Vicki's brother was trying to explain they he and Brianna had no right to run Vicki's life? Someone help here because I might just have made that up in my own head. 

 

 

Now that you mention it, I remember it too so you didn't make it up.

 

When they say "the family" are we to assume that it's only Briana?

[FozzyBear]

I know that Vicki's family doesn't approve of Brooks, but she is with him and it pisses me off that he wasn't allowed to be at her side at her mom's funeral. I can't help but feel that Brianna and her asshole husband were behind that. I hated my mom's brother (for a very good reason), but when she passed and he wanted to attend the graveside service, I allowed it, although I stayed away from him and never, ever saw him again.

Wait, what? that is just...oh for fucks sake, I really didn't need another reason to dislike Brianna. If it's true, what a spoiled, controlling, nagging shrew she grew up to be. I am officially sick of this. If Brooks is engaged in criminal activity (hitting Vicki, conning her, whatever) than Brianna and Ryan should call the police. If there isn't anything to report, THEN SHUT THE FUCKITY, FUCK UP! Jesus. You don't like your mom's boyfriend. Got it. We all get it. People in China get it! Now get over it. Man, that girl needs to get a grip. Go get your own damn life, Brianna.

[glowbug]

My opinion is that Vicki is a narcissist (based on her behavior throughout the run of the show) and her reaction to her mom's death was very narcissistic, but I say that in a non-critical way because the fact is even narcissists grieve when they lose someone they love and they have the right to grieve however they wish (as long as they're not a danger to themselves or others) just as everyone else does. And I think one of the times it's completely appropriate to make a situation all about yourself is when you lose someone close to you like a parent. Even people who are not narcissistic may do or say some of the things Vicki did. I also think Vicki would have had the same reaction had the cameras not been there. She's a very dramatic person so of course her reaction to her mother's death was very dramatic. She may also have been hoping someone would hear and come to see what was wrong, which would be understandable in that situation. I'm sure some people would rather be alone but many people would rather have others around for comfort. I can judge Vicki for a lot of things but not the reaction to her mother's death. 

[Granimal]

This was actually the episode where I stopped feeling sorry for David. To hear that he went out of his way to lie to Shannon and get her hopes up about "deleting the g-mail account," (whatever that means) and to then devastate her by moving out of the house 5 days later, and to then confess that he had no idea why he decided to lie about it? That's pretty fucked up. It really does sound like he plays mind games with her. That, coupled with the truly bizarre "I saw 'that girl' on the beach today" exchange has me thinking there is something off about him. Shannon may nag David, but he seems to take some kind of unconscious or semi-conscious pleasure in actively torturing her. I already felt a little skeptical about him when Shannon revealed he would call her crazy and stupid for suspecting his affair, but these latest instances pushed me over the edge into squarely feeling that David is definitely not some put-upon victim struggling to make sense of a marriage he regrets. I say this as someone who likes both Shannon and David as people - but they both clearly need to do a lot of real work on themselves. What I find so interesting about Shannon is that, despite her erratic temperament, she does tend to have her finger on the pulse of reality, and yet she draws in all these people who attempt to gaslight her to varying degrees - we saw it with Heather and Tamra, and now both Meghan and David seem to do it as well. If I were working with Shannon, I would definitely be exploring why she has this relationship with people constantly trying to subvert her sense of reality. I'd bet my life this is a recreation of some old pattern for her - which is why she has such a triggered reaction to it.

 

Emphasis mine. Yes! Yes! Yes! With David's legal history of domestic violence, and the way that he (IMO) gaslights Shannon, I don't see him as some poor put-upon victim either. In fact, I see many of his behaviors as emotionally abusive (I won't get into the domestic violence incident). I think that he enjoys the power he gets out of riling Shannon up and making her feel insecure.

 

Many things in the Beador's marriage smell fishy. David lying over receipts that Shannon has seen with her own eyes? David telling her that he will end the affair and then moving out of the house instead? These are all tactics to make the abusee feel like they can't rely on their own judgement. Gaslighting 101.

 

IMO, David enjoys throwing Shannon off-kilter and making her feel insecure. There have been several times this season where he's talked to her and my warning bells have gone off. I believe that if he didn't enjoy manipulating Shannon's already fragile emotions, he would've been out the door by now.

 

In this very episode he made a completely vague comment about seeing a girl at the beach. He knew that she was still reeling from the affair, and the way that he casually dropped it on camera while she was preparing for a party told me all that I needed to know about him. He knew exactly how she would take it. She even interviewed that he had promised that he would tell her if he ever ran into The Other Woman again. Don't worry Shannon- he won't tell you about banging the other woman again. He'll only make vague half statements leading you to panic, then doubt yourself for being so ridiculous and silly.

 

There's always been weird behavior in the Beador marriage. In Shannon's first season, David attended Heather's Ho(e?) Down, one of Shannon's first parties as a RH, and proceeded to throw back tequila shots with an "unknown" woman (Megan) while ignoring Shannon's presence and not introducing her. He also charmingly told her (on camera) that she needed a breast lift (I bet his mistress loved hearing him say that) after she had gotten all prettied up for dinner with him, during their first night away in ages.

 

David's cheating was just another way of hurting Shannon and showing her how little she matters to him. That's their unhealthy cycle. David belittles and undermines Shannon's confidence, turning her into an insecure harpie, and she in turn nags and nags and nags. But the social climbers at the cocktail party only see/care about her insecurity and neediness and naggy-ness and are annoyed. David's transgressions aren't nearly so horrifying to them for a number of reasons. I mean after all David is much more pleasant to be around than Shannon! And David is manipulative and stealth. He knows how to play the whipped husband in public. As for that pesky infidelity and domestic violence charge? Well what happens in a man's home is his own business after all. And Shannon was such a nag she deserved a cheating husband. In fact I hope he slept with all of the OC after having to put up with that shrew of a wife who looks like she could be his grandma. He's okay looking, got nagged by a woman on TV, and he has a penis, so he deserves all the naked 30 year olds he can screw in a night!

 

It doesn't surprise me at all that people like David more than they like Shannon. Most abusers are very charming, charismatic, and well liked publicly. They know how to play the game, and they tend to pick partners who are either unlikeable in some way or whose credibility isn't very high. Shannon with her uptight personality and "whacky" beliefs isn't the most credible or well-liked person in the world.

 

For the record, I'm not a huge Shannon fan myself. However, I would like to meet the real Shannon. The Shannon who isn't depressed/anxious/insecure and being gaslighted by her husband. Likewise, would like to see David away from his toxic relationship with his wife. For them both to ever be happy they need a divorce (obviously).

 

Maybe he resents her for "having his balls in a vice" as some may see it, but if that's the case then he needs to leave. Seeing him mess with her isn't fun for me. And Shannon, same goes to you. It's not fun seeing you nag. Please leave!

 

This is by no means meant to insult anyone who likes David and doesn't like Shannon. This is purely my own opinion on their relationship based on what I see. I don't judge anyone that sees it differently than I do.

Edited July 13, 2015 by Granimal

[Ubiquitous]

For some reason, I thought that Vicki's brother liked him. I'm fuzzy on the details, but didn't he once have a conversation with Ryan about Brooks? Ryan was explaining to him that Brooks wasn't allowed in the house while they were living there, and Vicki's brother was trying to explain they he and Brianna had no right to run Vicki's life? Someone help here because I might just have made that up in my own head.

Now that you mnetion it, I do recall Brooks getting along with Billy...

[zoeysmom]

Granimal--Thanks for your insights and opinions on the Beador marriage.  I was kind of hoping the drama was over for the two of them but it seems there is more tonight.

Edited July 13, 2015 by zoeysmom

[kira28]

Something is funny with the timeline of David cheating. Shannon claims she found out after filming wrapped up (April 1st) that he was cheating. But in this episode she claims that he and his mistress were communicating via gmail and she was all excited when David showed her he removed  the gmail icon from his ipad but Shannon found out he was still lying to her because a few days later he moved out. David moved out during filming (unless he moved out again another time) so according to that timeline Shannon knew about the affair while they were being filmed last season.

[SweetieDarling]

Granimal--Thanks for your insights and opinions on the Beador marriage.  I was kind of hoping the drama was over for the two of them but it seems there is more tonight.

Say it ain't so!!

 

I really don't enjoy watching Shannon go into obsessive insecure mode because David made some snide or cryptic comment on air - or vice versa.  I think I'd rather watch the spackel dry in the shopping mall sized DuBrow "home".

[ghoulina]

Something is funny with the timeline of David cheating. Shannon claims she found out after filming wrapped up (April 1st) that he was cheating. But in this episode she claims that he and his mistress were communicating via gmail and she was all excited when David showed her he removed  the gmail icon from his ipad but Shannon found out he was still lying to her because a few days later he moved out. David moved out during filming (unless he moved out again another time) so according to that timeline Shannon knew about the affair while they were being filmed last season.

 

Good catch! Unless he moved out twice, something is very hinky. 

[biakbiak]

I could have sworn that Shannon also alluded to the fact that Heather knew about the affair but didn't mention it on air. The fact that he decided to have an affair the day after he knew there profile was going to go national is incredibly weird. Not that there is any ideal time to begin an affair but it makes me wonder if he didn't want her to do the show and started it to get back at her.

[Sage47]

Wow Granimal, great, great food for thought about the Beadors and right on the money. Shannon does bother me and IS too uptight however, I fully agree with your assessment about David and his passive-aggressive abusive ways. He really is making Shannon scramble and doubt her sanity and I find it very disturbing. It doesn't help that Heather and Tamra also like to hop on board the gaslight train. I feel for Shannon regarding this, I really do.

 

I wish Shannon could get the courage to leave this asshole. I know she doesn't want her girls experiencing divorce like she did as a child but come ON. She has the funds to live comfortably alone. She needs to take care of herself (and her girls).

 

Shannon would do better with a man at least a few years older than her. I do think she has a very "old" energy about her and would do better with someone mellow who doesn't want to party and flirt with 30 year olds. I kind of felt bad for her in the Bunko edit. She did look a tiny bit nuts waving her hands around and hollering over winning Bunko. She sometimes does seem grandmotherly even though I feel guilty typing that.

 

Even the décor in their home...sheesh. So stuffy and elderly looking. The place is immaculate and looks like a hotel. That kind of living creeps me out. I like cozy and warm and lived-in.

 

And I fully agree that she knew about the affair last season. I think that's why they appeared so weird together and she seems so unhappy. David is a dick.

 

And Meghan, what a bitch. Trying to subconsciously make Shannon think she and David were flirting, thus posing a threat.

[motorcitymom65]

Something is funny with the timeline of David cheating. Shannon claims she found out after filming wrapped up (April 1st) that he was cheating. But in this episode she claims that he and his mistress were communicating via gmail and she was all excited when David showed her he removed  the gmail icon from his ipad but Shannon found out he was still lying to her because a few days later he moved out. David moved out during filming (unless he moved out again another time) so according to that timeline Shannon knew about the affair while they were being filmed last season.

When David sent the text to Shannon saying he wanted a break last season, he never moved out. He said that he came home that night and apologized.

 

She found out about the affair last April, right when filming was ending. That was when he moved out for a couple of weeks. 

[Sage47]

Yes, but really why did David need a break from Shannon? Because he was having an affair or thinking about it.

[WireWrap]

Emphasis mine. Yes! Yes! Yes! With David's legal history of domestic violence, and the way that he (IMO) gaslights Shannon, I don't see him as some poor put-upon victim either. In fact, I see many of his behaviors as emotionally abusive (I won't get into the domestic violence incident). I think that he enjoys the power he gets out of riling Shannon up and making her feel insecure.

 

Many things in the Beador's marriage smell fishy. David lying over receipts that Shannon has seen with her own eyes? David telling her that he will end the affair and then moving out of the house instead? These are all tactics to make the abusee feel like they can't rely on their own judgement. Gaslighting 101.

 

IMO, David enjoys throwing Shannon off-kilter and making her feel insecure. There have been several times this season where he's talked to her and my warning bells have gone off. I believe that if he didn't enjoy manipulating Shannon's already fragile emotions, he would've been out the door by now.

 

In this very episode he made a completely vague comment about seeing a girl at the beach. He knew that she was still reeling from the affair, and the way that he casually dropped it on camera while she was preparing for a party told me all that I needed to know about him. He knew exactly how she would take it. She even interviewed that he had promised that he would tell her if he ever ran into The Other Woman again. Don't worry Shannon- he won't tell you about banging the other woman again. He'll only make vague half statements leading you to panic, then doubt yourself for being so ridiculous and silly.

 

There's always been weird behavior in the Beador marriage. In Shannon's first season, David attended Heather's Ho(e?) Down, one of Shannon's first parties as a RH, and proceeded to throw back tequila shots with an "unknown" woman (Megan) while ignoring Shannon's presence and not introducing her. He also charmingly told her (on camera) that she needed a breast lift (I bet his mistress loved hearing him say that) after she had gotten all prettied up for dinner with him, during their first night away in ages.

 

David's cheating was just another way of hurting Shannon and showing her how little she matters to him. That's their unhealthy cycle. David belittles and undermines Shannon's confidence, turning her into an insecure harpie, and she in turn nags and nags and nags. But the social climbers at the cocktail party only see/care about her insecurity and neediness and naggy-ness and are annoyed. David's transgressions aren't nearly so horrifying to them for a number of reasons. I mean after all David is much more pleasant to be around than Shannon! And David is manipulative and stealth. He knows how to play the whipped husband in public. As for that pesky infidelity and domestic violence charge? Well what happens in a man's home is his own business after all. And Shannon was such a nag she deserved a cheating husband. In fact I hope he slept with all of the OC after having to put up with that shrew of a wife who looks like she could be his grandma. He's okay looking, got nagged by a woman on TV, and he has a penis, so he deserves all the naked 30 year olds he can screw in a night!

 

It doesn't surprise me at all that people like David more than they like Shannon. Most abusers are very charming, charismatic, and well liked publicly. They know how to play the game, and they tend to pick partners who are either unlikeable in some way or whose credibility isn't very high. Shannon with her uptight personality and "whacky" beliefs isn't the most credible or well-liked person in the world.

 

For the record, I'm not a huge Shannon fan myself. However, I would like to meet the real Shannon. The Shannon who isn't depressed/anxious/insecure and being gaslighted by her husband. Likewise, would like to see David away from his toxic relationship with his wife. For them both to ever be happy they need a divorce (obviously).

 

Maybe he resents her for "having his balls in a vice" as some may see it, but if that's the case then he needs to leave. Seeing him mess with her isn't fun for me. And Shannon, same goes to you. It's not fun seeing you nag. Please leave!

 

This is by no means meant to insult anyone who likes David and doesn't like Shannon. This is purely my own opinion on their relationship based on what I see. I don't judge anyone that sees it differently than I do.

I see them both at fault. I do agree that David is pushing Shannon's buttons intentionally and I see Shannon swinging David's family jewel sack around in his face. I suspect this behavior pattern by both of them has been going on for a long, long time. Which happened first is irrelevant because they are still together but how and why they are still together is something that puzzles me. Do they enjoy torturing each other, do they feed off the pain/embarrassment they cause the other because I am not buying that they "love" each other or are "in love" with each other and IMO, they haven't been in a long time.

[Granimal]

I do believe that emotional abuse creates naggy, insecure, needy, and unconfident (wo)men. That's usually the purpose. In general, emotional abusers feel insecure and seek to make their abusees feel as insecure as they do. In the beginning of the relationship there's a perceived status disparity between the two and the abuser feels insecure for whatever reason (looks, financial leverage, intelligence, etc.). Instead of bettering himself, the abuser will set out to bring the abusee down to his level or lower. He wants the abusee to believe that (s)he is beneath him, can't do better than him, and thus should not leave or seek out other options.

 

Now do I know that Shannon is being abused? I don't know that. All I know is that she acts exactly like many of the abused women that I work with. And that several comments during this episode and previous ones have sent up red flags. That combined with the affair and DV charge create a certain image in my mind. And yes, not all abused women are particularly likeable people. You can be abused and still be a real pain in the ass. However, there are a lot of behaviors that drop after the abused party is free from the abuse for long enough to rebuild their self esteem. In fact many abused people lose their friends and family not only because they are being isolated, but also because they become insecure headcases or develop mental problems from the abuse.

 

I think that everyone can agree that this season and this episode highlight just how dysfunctional the Beador marriage is.

[Ubiquitous]

Watching this and reading the comments reminds me of when Mom died from cancer, but Dad and I had been taking care of her at home for her last month, so I never got that phone call.

ETA: I kinda take it back. I remember getting the news about her condition being terminal over the phone and receiving a call from someone else minutes after and being too upset to speak.

Edited July 14, 2015 by Ubiquitous

[FozzyBear]

Something is funny with the timeline of David cheating. Shannon claims she found out after filming wrapped up (April 1st) that he was cheating. But in this episode she claims that he and his mistress were communicating via gmail and she was all excited when David showed her he removed the gmail icon from his ipad but Shannon found out he was still lying to her because a few days later he moved out. David moved out during filming (unless he moved out again another time) so according to that timeline Shannon knew about the affair while they were being filmed last season.

I caught that too. I just don't believe Shannon that she didn't know about the affair during filming. So much of her behavior in general and her behavior toward David in specific only makes sense in the context of the affair being at least partially on the table. Could just be me (probably just me), but Shannon's tendency to live on a houseboat on a river in Egypt makes it harder for me to sympathize or ever like her. I don't trust her. I think she lies all the time. And I think anytime anyone steps an inch out of the make believe world she's constructed, then Shannon goes on attack mode pretending the problem isn't whats going on in her life, but the fact someone said it out loud. That was my problem with the Heather confrontation last season. David had the affair and left, not Heather, yet Shannon choose to make Heather into the villain. I'm not a Heather fan, but I would have told Shannon to fuck off that night too. Don't blam me for noticing the obvious. If you want everyone to think you have a happy marriage, go have one. I have a low tolerance for adults that need to be "handled" like Shannon.

[zoeysmom]

I caught that too. I just don't believe Shannon that she didn't know about the affair during filming. So much of her behavior in general and her behavior toward David in specific only makes sense in the context of the affair being at least partially on the table. Could just be me (probably just me), but Shannon's tendency to live on a houseboat on a river in Egypt makes it harder for me to sympathize or ever like her. I don't trust her. I think she lies all the time. And I think anytime anyone steps an inch out of the make believe world she's constructed, then Shannon goes on attack mode pretending the problem isn't whats going on in her life, but the fact someone said it out loud. That was my problem with the Heather confrontation last season. David had the affair and left, not Heather, yet Shannon choose to make Heather into the villain. I'm not a Heather fan, but I would have told Shannon to fuck off that night too. Don't blam me for noticing the obvious. If you want everyone to think you have a happy marriage, go have one. I have a low tolerance for adults that need to be "handled" like Shannon.

I believe Shannon said she suspected him of an affair and he called her stupid and crazy.  She then found concrete evidence of the affair on April 1st.  So he commenced the affair the first day of shooting October of 2013 and got caught April 1st, 2014.  So when the nagging and gas lighting starts is anyone's guess.  I am beginning to believe David is not a great listener.

[FozzyBear]

I believe Shannon said she suspected him of an affair and he called her stupid and crazy. She then found concrete evidence of the affair on April 1st. So he commenced the affair the first day of shooting October of 2013 and got caught April 1st, 2014. So when the nagging and gas lighting starts is anyone's guess. I am beginning to believe David is not a great listener.

I'm not on David's side by any means. And I agree with you that Shannon may have 'known, but not known' during filming. It's more her tendency to lash out at people when she doesn't get the response she wants, even when she refuses to really get into what response she wants, that I object to. I felt like everyone was supposed to be sympathetic to what Shannon was going through last season, but pretend nothing was happening at the same time. It's something I have little patience for. I don't think what is happening in her marriage is Shannon's fault, but I could see myself eventually loosing patience with the "Everything is fine! How dare you not support me during this difficult time! What difficult time? My marriage is great! How dare you attack me when I have so much on my plate! Nothing is on my plate!" game. It's just such a WTF. I can stay out of it, or be sympathetic, or whatever you want, but I refuse to try and be a mind reader with grown adults

[MaryLennox84]

I'm an episode behind (thanks to living across the pond...having grown up in California and spent a lot of time in Orange County, the Real Housewives of Chesire just doesn't comfort me in the same way as The OC Housewives) so I just watched this one. I am sure Vicki consented to this being on TV, but something about watching someone hear their parent just died made me feel very uncomfortable. Yes, Vicki's reaction was OTT as people have stated, but you honestly never really know what your reaction to anything life altering is going to be until it happens. Although Vicki is generally totally OTT, this didn't feel out of place for someone who just unexpectedly lost a parent...but I felt like I was intruding on her life. And how weird that the camera people just stand there filming whilst she collapses on the floor? I mean I know its about not breaking the fourth wall, but it felt really weird to me.

[sasha206]

Yes, Vicki's reaction was OTT as people have stated, but you honestly never really know what your reaction to anything life altering is going to be until it happens. Although Vicki is generally totally OTT, this didn't feel out of place for someone who just unexpectedly lost a parent...but I felt like I was intruding on her life. And how weird that the camera people just stand there filming whilst she collapses on the floor? I mean I know its about not breaking the fourth wall, but it felt really weird to me.

 

 

For me, it's the reactions after learning the shocking news.  Her mom was 83 and died a very peaceful death and yet even after getting that phone call she's acting like she's the only person death has ever touched and acted like her mom was taken in the prime of her life.  And the comment "Will it bring my mom back?" to Shannon.  Her reactions post death seem to be all about having everyone worry about poor Vicki!  Not to mention, she has no perspective.  There's a woman younger than her related to a castmate who has Stage IV colon cancer and apparently is dying.  And she has a teenage daughter who has to deal with the very real possibility she's about to lose her mother.  That's a tragic death that shouldn't have to happen.  Dying peacefully at 83 in your sleep is the exact way to go.

Edited July 19, 2015 by sasha206

[MaryLennox84]

For me, it's the reactions after learning the shocking news.  Her mom was 83 and died a very peaceful death and yet even after getting that phone call she's acting like she's the only person death has ever touched and acted like her mom was taken in the prime of her life.  And the comment "Will it bring my mom back?" to Shannon.  Her reactions post death seem to be all about having everyone worry about poor Vicki!  Not to mention, she has no perspective.  There's a woman younger than her related to a castmate who has Stage IV colon cancer and apparently is dying.  And she has a teenage daughter who has to deal with the very real possibility she's about to lose her mother.  That's a tragic death that shouldn't have to happen.  Dying peacefully at 83 in your sleep is the exact way to go.

 

IMHO, it is pretty harsh to judge someone's grief. If someone you know died very suddenly and you just heard, you really don't have an obligation to decide who in the room has it worse than you do and then gauge your reaction accordingly. For example, I work with Holocaust survivors in my day job and if I were with one of them whom I am close to when I heard that my parent or someone old but close to me passed away, I wouldn't feel like I had to pretend I wasn't sad because that particular person may have lost their entire family/most of their nuclear family in the span of 2-3 years. Sadness is sadness and to begrudge Vicki for not "thinking about Meghan's step-daughter" is a bit harsh. I don't even get the impression that she even knows about her situation, much less is going to be like, "I JUST heard my mom died, but wait, she was 83 and an acquaintance's step-daughter's mom has stage 4 colon cancer, so I'm gonna dial it back a bit."

Plus it IS Vicki. Anything she does is going to be attention seeking and OTT, but I am giving her a pass for how she reacts to her mom's death. 

[sasha206]

IMHO, it is pretty harsh to judge someone's grief. If someone you know died very suddenly and you just heard, you really don't have an obligation to decide who in the room has it worse than you do and then gauge your reaction accordingly. For example, I work with Holocaust survivors in my day job and if I were with one of them whom I am close to when I heard that my parent or someone old but close to me passed away, I wouldn't feel like I had to pretend I wasn't sad because that particular person may have lost their entire family/most of their nuclear family in the span of 2-3 years. Sadness is sadness and to begrudge Vicki for not "thinking about Meghan's step-daughter" is a bit harsh. I don't even get the impression that she even knows about her situation, much less is going to be like, "I JUST heard my mom died, but wait, she was 83 and an acquaintance's step-daughter's mom has stage 4 colon cancer, so I'm gonna dial it back a bit."

Plus it IS Vicki. Anything she does is going to be attention seeking and OTT, but I am giving her a pass for how she reacts to her mom's death. 

 

I'm not judging her for her initial reaction.  But when she goes on and on about how this *wasn't supposed to happen* I find it irritating in her multiple scenes.  My dad died at 72 of cancer.  Her mom lived longer and died a peaceful death.  So a little perspective when she's talking about her mother's death maybe?  Most of us aren't as fortunate to live a long life like her mother and to die a peaceful death.  She's a narcissit plain and simple and she's managed to make her mother's death ALL ABOUT HER.  Not her family members who are also suffering.  BUT ABOUT HER. 

 

She's also managed to do that with Brooks' cancer as well.  I mean, didn't she coax him into telling her how lucky he was to have her while he's going through this?  I drove my dad to chemo appointments and radiation appointments.  I never once tried to make my dad feel like he was so lucky to have me to help him.  

Edited July 19, 2015 by sasha206

[MaryLennox84]

I'm not judging her for her initial reaction.  But when she goes on and on about how this *wasn't supposed to happen* I find it irritating in her multiple scenes.  My dad died at 72 of cancer.  Her mom lived longer and died a peaceful death.  So a little perspective when she's talking about her mother's death maybe?  Most of us aren't as fortunate to live a long life like her mother and to die a peaceful death.  She's a narcissit plain and simple and she's managed to make her mother's death ALL ABOUT HER.  Not her family members who are also suffering.  BUT ABOUT HER. 

 

She's also managed to do that with Brooks' cancer as well.  I mean, didn't she coax him into telling her how lucky he was to have her while he's going through this?  I drove my dad to chemo appointments and radiation appointments.  I never once tried to make my dad feel like he was so lucky to have me to help him.  

 

Ah okay, I see what you mean. I thought you were saying her initial reaction wasn't right, which I thought was harsh. But I get what you mean now. 

[sasha206]

Ah okay, I see what you mean. I thought you were saying her initial reaction wasn't right, which I thought was harsh. But I get what you mean now. 

 

Yeah, I understand her initial reaction.  Not to keep mentioning my dad, but I wasn't shocked by my dad's passing.  The shock was when I found out he had cancer and it was terminal.  Months later it was sad but also a relief he wasn't suffering.  Getting a call out of the blue when you just talked to your mom would be awful.  So i get her initial reactions.

 

My issue with Vicki are her comments when it all sunk in and she's still making comments, "Will it bring my mom back?"  And the wails of "it wasn't supposed to happen..."  I mean, I'm 47.  My husband lost his mom (who was 76) this past April.  He mourned but it's not like losing a loved one in the prime of life.  She was an elderly woman who had a very peaceful death.  If I were Vicki, I'd rejoice in that fact alone.  Many worse ways to die and sadly, Jim's ex is losing her battle and is relatively young.  We should all be lucky enough to live to 83 and die peacefully. Doesn't mean you can't mourn.  But I would chose to look at that passing differently.

[MaryLennox84]

I think it is different for every situation and IMHO death is always a surprise even if the illness is terminal, but you are right, losing young people is much worse. You're right though about some of the things she was saying about it bringing her mom back, but I def. get her reaction about wanting her mom because if you're in a tough situation, you often turn to your parents if you have a good relationship with them.

 

I wonder if Brianna is as close with Vicki as Vicki thinks?

[motorcitymom65]

Yeah, I understand her initial reaction.  Not to keep mentioning my dad, but I wasn't shocked by my dad's passing.  The shock was when I found out he had cancer and it was terminal.  Months later it was sad but also a relief he wasn't suffering.  Getting a call out of the blue when you just talked to your mom would be awful.  So i get her initial reactions.

 

My issue with Vicki are her comments when it all sunk in and she's still making comments, "Will it bring my mom back?"  And the wails of "it wasn't supposed to happen..."  I mean, I'm 47.  My husband lost his mom (who was 76) this past April.  He mourned but it's not like losing a loved one in the prime of life.  She was an elderly woman who had a very peaceful death.  If I were Vicki, I'd rejoice in that fact alone.  Many worse ways to die and sadly, Jim's ex is losing her battle and is relatively young.  We should all be lucky enough to live to 83 and die peacefully. Doesn't mean you can't mourn.  But I would chose to look at that passing differently.

This is it for me as well. I thought her initial reaction was a little bit over the top, but as others have said - this is Vicki and I don't feel that good about judging someone in that situation. She is dramatic and narcissistic by nature, so I will assume she is going to be that way in most every situation. 

 

My problem is with the way she reacted after, especially when Tamra and Eddie came over. She was just ridiculous IMO. And again, keeping in mind that she was the one to call production and the camera crew and call them to come and film this stuff.  The initial news came as a shock and having it filmed on TV not her fault. Everything that came after was entirely in her control. I simply cannot imagine making arrangements like that immediately after getting the news, especially if I was so incredibly fragile. Vicki really does want to live her entire life on TV. 

I caught that too. I just don't believe Shannon that she didn't know about the affair during filming. So much of her behavior in general and her behavior toward David in specific only makes sense in the context of the affair being at least partially on the table. Could just be me (probably just me), but Shannon's tendency to live on a houseboat on a river in Egypt makes it harder for me to sympathize or ever like her. I don't trust her. I think she lies all the time. And I think anytime anyone steps an inch out of the make believe world she's constructed, then Shannon goes on attack mode pretending the problem isn't whats going on in her life, but the fact someone said it out loud. That was my problem with the Heather confrontation last season. David had the affair and left, not Heather, yet Shannon choose to make Heather into the villain. I'm not a Heather fan, but I would have told Shannon to fuck off that night too. Don't blam me for noticing the obvious. If you want everyone to think you have a happy marriage, go have one. I have a low tolerance for adults that need to be "handled" like Shannon.

When Heather was on WWHL, she was saying some very supportive things about Shannon. That she was "brave" to be putting this out there for the world to see. That maybe her story could help other couples (which by the way is total bullshit IMO).  The interesting part was when Andy asked her if she believed what Shannon was saying about when she became aware of the affair, and if she really did keep it quiet from everyone else (she had just said in that episode that the only person she had told was Vicki).  Heather danced around that question like crazy. She said something like "I'm just going to let Shannon tell this story the way that she needs to tell the story". It seemed to indicate to me that there was knowledge by some that Shannon was aware of it, and/or that she had actually told others about it prior to when she said she did. I think she knew, and I think she told people on the show about it at some point, or alluded to it. Maybe after a visit from Grey Goose. 

[sasha206]

I think it is different for every situation and IMHO death is always a surprise even if the illness is terminal, but you are right, losing young people is much worse. You're right though about some of the things she was saying about it bringing her mom back, but I def. get her reaction about wanting her mom because if you're in a tough situation, you often turn to your parents if you have a good relationship with them.

 

I wonder if Brianna is as close with Vicki as Vicki thinks?

 

It is different in every situation, but just her reaction to Brooks' cancer (if her really has it) tells me all I need to know.  She's someone who uses someone else's condition to either gain sympathy or gain loyalty.  Essentially, her mom's passing is really about her.  Her mate's cancer is really about her.  It's not a normal reaction, in my view.  

 

I don't begrudge anyone for feeling shock over an untimely death you didn't expect.  But it's the immature afterthoughts that are off the charts narcissitic.  I mean, when you become a certain age (I'm 47), death of a parent is a shock but it's not a surprise if you get my drift.  It's not something that you obsess on as something that *shouldn't have happened.*  I was 35 when my dad died; 47 when my MIL died  It's sad, it's awful.  But it isn't something you feel like you are alone in.  It's not the loss of a child.  It's not the loss of someone young.  It's an expected loss in the sense that we're all getting older and it's a matter of time.    So while you grieve, you don't grieve the same way as a death that is really not supposed to happen (like for instance someone in their prime struck down by cancer).

[Emme]

15 minutes after I got the call that my parent died suddenly, I got a (well meaning) text from a friend who heard the EMS info, and small town rumors already and he texted me "is everything all right with your family? fatality?" I would have gotten that text before I found out if I  had been driven to the scene or a different place.

My mom died 10 years ago. It was unexpected because my parents hadn't wanted to "bother me" with the news her cancer had returned as I was pregnant.

About 10 days after my daughter's delivery, and still an emotional post-partum mess, I open my email and see a message from an aunt who I really didn't keep in touch with. "So sorry about your mother, she will be missed." And that's how I learned of my mother's death. My father had just returned from the hospital, and hadn't gotten himself together to call me yet. It was pretty rough. Luckily my OB was fantastic, and was able to intervene right away to make sure I kept it together.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

My mom died 10 years ago. It was unexpected because my parents hadn't wanted to "bother me" with the news her cancer had returned as I was pregnant.

About 10 days after my daughter's delivery, and still an emotional post-partum mess, I open my email and see a message from an aunt who I really didn't keep in touch with. "So sorry about your mother, she will be missed." And that's how I learned of my mother's death. My father had just returned from the hospital, and hadn't gotten himself together to call me yet. It was pretty rough. Luckily my OB was fantastic, and was able to intervene right away to make sure I kept it together.

I am SO sorry you had that experience. My heart is with you, it must have been such a difficult time for you. My sympathies on the loss of your mom. Hugs. 

[RealHousewife]

On 7/11/2015 at 6:40 PM, sasha206 said:

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/photopost/data/1648/jenny-heather-paige-kent-1.jpg never watched any of the shows she was in but I do remember the name "Heather Paige Kent."  The fact that she starred in several shows is impressive, yes she's an actress.  However, I think at her age, the only acting jobs she will now get after being out of the biz for so long are due to her Real Housewives fame.  

 

Look how cute she once was.  I think she needs to gain some weight.  She had a cute figure back then and with a little more weight looked awesome.

Heather looks like a beauty queen here, so pretty. 

My heart broke for Vicki. One of my fears is losing a close family member.