Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[meep.meep]

So maybe she really needs the insurance.

[Sandman87]

Maybe she needs dental insurance.

[smittykins]

I'll just leave this here.

[cynicat]

1 hour ago, smittykins said:

I'll just leave this here.

Hmmm, tough choice--do I want my butthole to smell like lemon verbena, passion fruit or citrus ginger?

[Prevailing Wind]

She could probably get a cleaner hiney (and entire body) if she'd turn the water on in the shower.

[mojoween]

"Ever wish your skin could bounce back like it used to?"

Bounce back from what?

[Rick Kitchen]

Heard in a Tahin seasoning ad, spoken by a little kid.  "Did you know that the United States produces 90% of the world's porn?"  Oh, corn.  Although I wouldn't doubt the first statistic.

[Rick Kitchen]

I have so many questions about that My Shiney Hiney ad.

Why did the woman think to look at her butt first when the narrator said something about a sensitive area?  That wand thing (and especially the fingetip brush) look like they would be more likely used for a different part of the body.  And is anybody looking at your posterior and telling you that it's too dark?

[Cobalt Stargazer]

1 hour ago, mojoween said:

"Ever wish your skin could bounce back like it used to?"

Bounce back from what?

"San Juan Hill, Rose."

[callmebetty]

2 hours ago, Rick Kitchen said:

I have so many questions about that My Shiney Hiney ad.

Why did the woman think to look at her butt first when the narrator said something about a sensitive area?  That wand thing (and especially the fingetip brush) look like they would be more likely used for a different part of the body.  And is anybody looking at your posterior and telling you that it's too dark?

And surprise surprise it's all WOMEN who are using or should use the product. Also the Male doctor who gives it to a female patient. Fuck that. No more having to be silicone skinned ,hairless, even toned dolls, in every orifice and exterior portion of one's body.

[peacheslatour]

New to the WTF Files: Geico using ZZ Top's La Grange to advertise insurance. Yes, because when I think about insurance the first thing that comes to mind is a whore house in Texas. My son and I were talking about inappropriate music in commercials the other day and he speculated that trolls in the ad departments know damn well the songs they use are completely wrong for the product (that cruise line that used to use Iggy Pop's Lust for Life being one of the most egregious) and we decided there should be an annual award for the most ridiculous song used in an ad that year. We decided it should be called the Iggy.

[Maverick]

6 hours ago, Rick Kitchen said:

Heard in a Tahin seasoning ad, spoken by a little kid.  "Did you know that the United States produces 90% of the world's porn?" 

Yeah.....that seems low to me

[Sandman87]

On Monday, July 11, 2016 at 1:14 PM, meep.meep said:

What I'm scratching my head over:  1) nobody reacts to Jon Bon Jovi just showing up in their living rooms.

Is that who it is? I thought it was Bryan Adams.

7 hours ago, mojoween said:

"Ever wish your skin could bounce back like it used to?"

Bounce back from what?

Maybe their product is targeted at Plastic Man and Reed Richards.

[Wings]

On 7/12/2016 at 1:05 PM, peacheslatour said:

 

I realize he's attempting to say cereal, but it just sounds so stupid. Is that the way they pronounce it in Michigan?

 

No. Born and raised in MI and, no.  I have never before heard that.  There is no accent in Mi other than a few words that stand out to some.  Cherry vs Chairy, Frinch fries vs French fries and two examples.  

Edited July 14, 2016 by wings707

[backformore]

14 hours ago, Prevailing Wind said:

She could probably get a cleaner hiney (and entire body) if she'd turn the water on in the shower.

Am I the only one who cringes when she keeps putting her finger on the brush part? 

Why does anyone want their hiney to be "SHINY"  anyway?  And, if you're calling it a "sensitive area" - why clean it with a BRUSH?  This is just the next step in marketers trying to convince women that every part of their bodies must be squeaky clean, hairless, and smell like flowers.

[Moose135]

17 hours ago, smittykins said:

I'll just leave this here.

Why do I feel like this should be an SNL spoof, back when SNL was good?

[BradandJanet]

I know some men who could find some creative personal uses for the Shiny Hiney set. 

[erikdepressant]

49 minutes ago, Moose135 said:

Why do I feel like this should be an SNL spoof, back when SNL was good?

I looked online to see if Shiney Hiney was a real product, and it's for sale on Amazon.  What do customers buy after viewing that item?  XR Brands Anal Bleach.  I know there are some salons that offer the bleaching service, but if it's going to be a DIY fad, expect to see commercials in the future that will be very similar to the teeth whitening ads we've discussed in "Commercials that Annoy:"

"This bride included anal bleaching kits in every welcome basket!"

OR

"Why are you deleting these photos?"
"Because my anus is so dark in them!"

 

I have moderate (but not severe!) vitiligo on my hands.  I'm gonna start saying I spilled a bottle of anal bleach on them.

[Sandman87]

4 hours ago, erikdepressant said:

I looked online to see if Shiney Hiney was a real product, and it's for sale on Amazon.  What do customers buy after viewing that item?  XR Brands Anal Bleach.  I know there are some salons that offer the bleaching service, but if it's going to be a DIY fad, expect to see commercials in the future that will be very similar to the teeth whitening ads we've discussed in "Commercials that Annoy:"

"This bride included anal bleaching kits in every welcome basket!"

OR

"Why are you deleting these photos?"
"Because my anus is so dark in them!"

Reminds me of the George Carlin bit where he comes up with Madison Avenue-type naming and marketing concepts for birth control pills.

[janie jones]

That "soft silicone brush" that you get with your Shiny Hiney is a goddamn dog toothbrush.

Edited July 14, 2016 by janie jones

[riley702]

13 hours ago, backformore said:

Am I the only one who cringes when she keeps putting her finger on the brush part? 

Why does anyone want their hiney to be "SHINY"  anyway?  And, if you're calling it a "sensitive area" - why clean it with a BRUSH?  This is just the next step in marketers trying to convince women that every part of their bodies must be squeaky clean, hairless, and smell like flowers.

And don't forget bleached! I can see the chicken bleaching crowd liking this.

[Brattinella]

I looked this up last night, too.  OMG.  And the "Area Whitening Cream"?   AHHHH!  Who wants to clean their little tender circle with a BRUSH???

[Ubiquitous]

14 hours ago, backformore said:

Am I the only one who cringes when she keeps putting her finger on the brush part? 

Why does anyone want their hiney to be "SHINY"  anyway?  And, if you're calling it a "sensitive area" - why clean it with a BRUSH?  This is just the next step in marketers trying to convince women that every part of their bodies must be squeaky clean, hairless, and smell like flowers.

Why do I get the feeling those aren't bought for the advertised purpose? I didn't realize that was her doctor at first, wondering why her boss gave her one as a gift.

13 hours ago, erikdepressant said:

I looked online to see if Shiney Hiney was a real product, and it's for sale on Amazon.  What do customers buy after viewing that item?  XR Brands Anal Bleach.  I know there are some salons that offer the bleaching service, but if it's going to be a DIY fad, expect to see commercials in the future that will be very similar to the teeth whitening ads we've discussed in "Commercials that Annoy:"

"This bride included anal bleaching kits in every welcome basket!"

OR

"Why are you deleting these photos?"
"Because my anus is so dark in them!"

 

I have moderate (but not severe!) vitiligo on my hands.  I'm gonna start saying I spilled a bottle of anal bleach on them.

[erikdepressant]

3 hours ago, janie jones said:

That "soft silicone brush" that you get with your Shiny Hiney is a goddamn dog toothbrush.

That looks like it would be a lot more gentle on my bum than the Dentastix I've been using.

[Brattinella]

32 minutes ago, erikdepressant said:

That looks like it would be a lot more gentle on my bum than the Dentastix I've been using.

Okay, now you owe me a new keyboard!  LOL!

[peacheslatour]

4 hours ago, janie jones said:

That "soft silicone brush" that you get with your Shiny Hiney is a goddamn dog toothbrush.

I get a well known, high end East Coast catalog that sells a hairbrush for $129.00. I can get the exact same brush at PetCo for $10.00.

[smittykins]

The fingertip brush looks like it could be used...somewhere else.(I'll leave that up to your imagination.)

[TeapotDiva]

23 hours ago, Moose135 said:

Why do I feel like this should be an SNL spoof, back when SNL was good?

I thought it *was* an SNL spoof!

[cynicat]

17 hours ago, erikdepressant said:

That looks like it would be a lot more gentle on my bum than the Dentastix I've been using.

                               I can see why that would be the case.

Edited July 15, 2016 by cynicat

[Prevailing Wind]

I loved it when they had Duchovny doing the voice-overs in the Dentastix commercials - 'cause, y'know, they're X-shaped.  File that.

[bilgistic]

On 7/10/2016 at 0:25 PM, Brattinella said:

I got that SAME feeling seeing this ad last night!  And what are they selling again?

A trip to Penis Peninsula is what I see.

[bilgistic]

On 7/13/2016 at 6:17 AM, smittykins said:

I'll just leave this here.

Is this real life????

Edited July 15, 2016 by bilgistic

[Rick Kitchen]

er, um, what?

 

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I think it's supposed to be telling us that using Old Spice made the job applicant so confident that he took over the boss' job during the interview itself. But I don't know why they both disappear into their suits as if they were dissolving into puddles.

[Muffyn]

On ‎7‎/‎13‎/‎2016 at 8:14 PM, backformore said:

Am I the only one who cringes when she keeps putting her finger on the brush part? 

Why does anyone want their hiney to be "SHINY"  anyway?  And, if you're calling it a "sensitive area" - why clean it with a BRUSH?  This is just the next step in marketers trying to convince women that every part of their bodies must be squeaky clean, hairless, and smell like flowers.

The ass brush comes in soft and medium bristles.  Because you want something really scratchy in your ass?  I'm surprised they didn't show someone tossing salad in the ad.

The Old Spice guys actually trade heads in the ad but then somehow miraculously get their own bodies.  Their heads go under the carpet.  I want whatever the ad execs were smoking when they made this ad.

Edited July 17, 2016 by Muffyn

[backformore]

If that's the woman's doctor giving her a shiney hiney brush - what is the medical condition he is prescribing it for?  Did she see her doctor about her less-than-shiny-clean butthole?  Or was it something he noticed during an exam? 

[Prevailing Wind]

7 minutes ago, backformore said:

If that's the woman's doctor giving her a shiney hiney brush - what is the medical condition he is prescribing it for?  Did she see her doctor about her less-than-shiny-clean butthole?  Or was it something he noticed during an exam? 

Maybe the doc thinks it's a new, improved feature of colonoscopy prep.

[Rick Kitchen]

I love how the My Shiney Hiney facebook page talks about their being featured at various X rated movie awards shows.

[bilgistic]

The wardrobe department for that commercial couldn't find a lab coat for that "doctor"? It was only after looking twice that I saw his stethoscope. Doctors wear lab coats. Butthole doctors probably don't wear suits. It's a dirty, smelly job.

::tap dances off stage left::

1 hour ago, Rick Kitchen said:

I love how the My Shiney Hiney facebook page talks about their being featured at various X rated movie awards shows.

They know and celebrate their demographic, I guess.

Edited July 16, 2016 by bilgistic

[Rick Kitchen]

16 hours ago, bilgistic said:

They know and celebrate their demographic, I guess.

They also link to a video talking about anal sex among gays.

[erikdepressant]

17 hours ago, backformore said:

If that's the woman's doctor giving her a shiney hiney brush - what is the medical condition he is prescribing it for?  Did she see her doctor about her less-than-shiny-clean butthole?  Or was it something he noticed during an exam? 

She probably didn't need it at all.  I'm guessing a Shiney Hiney sales rep dropped off a bunch of samples at the doctor's office, and he promised the doctor kickbacks if patients started buying the things.  Eventually, people everywhere will be dependent on My Shiney Hiney.  If you think Big Pharma is corrupt, you should see how deep the shit is with Big Procto.

17 hours ago, Rick Kitchen said:

I love how the My Shiney Hiney facebook page talks about their being featured at various X rated movie awards shows.

Their photo of the Shiney Hiney suction-cupped to the window overlooking Los Angeles reminded me of the tripod attack in War of the Worlds.

[bilgistic]

41 minutes ago, erikdepressant said:

...you should see how deep the shit is with Big Procto.

As it were...

[smittykins]

There's also a video(which I refuse to link here)--"Bottom Breaking News" with Ben Dover. Har de Har Har.

[Sandman87]

21 hours ago, bilgistic said:

The wardrobe department for that commercial couldn't find a lab coat for that "doctor"? It was only after looking twice that I saw his stethoscope. Doctors wear lab coats. Butthole doctors probably don't wear suits. It's a dirty, smelly job.

 

Your post reminded me of the first picture on this page.

[bilgistic]

3 hours ago, smittykins said:

There's also a video(which I refuse to link here)--"Bottom Breaking News" with Ben Dover. Har de Har Har.

His wife's name is Eileen.

[butterbody]

I caught the Shine Hiney ad on the Logo channel, and had to Google and make sure it was a real thing. It led me to a vid of snookie and j wow buying one. What the commercial neglected to tell us is that the fruity creams it comes with are not just scents. They're flavors. Flavors!

[AimingforYoko]

On 6/19/2016 at 9:26 AM, fishcakes said:

Ages ago at the old boards, a poster said that she saw a truck delivering meat to Taco Bell and the boxes were labeled "Grade D Beef." I'm not sure if I believe that since I don't think beef gets letter grades, but rather Prime, Choice, and Good (where "Good" means, "not so great"); regardless, the meat at Taco Bell does kind of have the texture of dog food.

Grade F Beef: Mostly circus animals, some filler.

[Sandman87]

If they're calling it beef, then it has to at least come from a cow. Rectums would be my guess. I bet they don't even clean them with Shiny Hiney.

[backformore]

snopes says the Grade D beef is an urban legend, and FALSE

[Aquarius]

On 7/16/2016 at 1:42 AM, bilgistic said:

The wardrobe department for that commercial couldn't find a lab coat for that "doctor"? It was only after looking twice that I saw his stethoscope. Doctors wear lab coats. Butthole doctors probably don't wear suits. It's a dirty, smelly job.

 

Not once you get all your patients using My Shiny Hiney.  Then it's lemon verbena, passion fruit and citrus ginger all day long.

Every time I see that embedded video, I think of think of the poster above who said he/she thought the doctor was the lady's boss.  Between the executive desk and the suit, it really does look like that!  The idea makes me laugh each time.