Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[90PercentGravity]

Actually, eHarmony asks all these faith-based questions and used to reject people who weren't religious enough.

[Bastet]

Yeah, back in its first few years of existence, a few of my friends who filled out the questionnaire got a "Sorry, we can't match you" type message.  They were all atheists.  I also heard from several atheists who got a bunch of moderately to severely religious (specifically, Christian) folks as their list of potential matches -- even though they'd answered questions about the religious inclinations of a potential partner by saying it was important that religion not play much of a role in their life.   As word of the various experiences like this spread, eHarmony got a reputation, which they're now apparently trying to counteract.

Edited February 29, 2016 by Bastet

[LoneHaranguer]

 

A Papa John’s pizza franchise in New York has been ordered to pay almost $800,000 in back pay to workers it cheated out of wages.

How is this relevant? They weren't company stores and there's no reason to think that Papa John's had any idea what was going on. Even if they did, there was nothing they could do besides threaten non-renewal of permission to use the company name.

 

 

He also made all kinds of threats about what would happen to prices and to his employees if the ACA got passed

It would be more accurate to say "predictions" than "threats".

[bad things are bad]

I wondered what the inside of the enormous Hummer was so full of that made them unable to put their snowboards inside.

 

Look inside a Hummer. They are very  much lacking in cargo room

[proserpina65]

I agree in theory but I think the point is more like "if we screwed it up we'll make it right". If it were cold or over or undercooked, you get a replacement free, that might be desireable. If you don't like their pepperoni, but otherwise it's ok, maybe next time you get just cheese, or mushrooms and that's tolerable as a replacement. Sure if you hate the pizza and just think it's crap: crust, sauce cheese and all, you wouldn't want another, free or not. But there are enough ways you could "not like it" that offering a free replacement could potentially win someone back. Plus or minus the goodwill you theoretically earn by sounding like you want to "make it right".

Of course, Papa John himself is an evil asshole who doesn't actually care about humans, so of course nobody should take these ads as an implication he's some kind of caring, ethical person. But that is what he's trying to convince us of by having such a policy.

Whereas if, like me, you think Papa John's pizza just plain sucks, you're out of luck.  (Yeah, I wouldn't be buying one in the first place, but still . . .)

[janie jones]

Look inside a Hummer. They are very  much lacking in cargo room

Yeah, but you can put some snowboards in a sedan and still have room for two passengers in the back seat.  I can't imagine the inside of a Hummer is smaller than the inside of a sedan.

[Brattinella]

I wouldn't mind having a Hummer when The SHTF.  One of the BIG ones.

[proserpina65]

I wouldn't mind having a Hummer when The SHTF.  One of the BIG ones.

SHTF?

[Brattinella]

Shit Hits The Fan.

[stillhere1900]

NM

Edited March 2, 2016 by stillhere1900

[LoneHaranguer]

 

I wouldn't mind having a Hummer when The SHTF.  One of the BIG ones.

If you mean the military version, it probably has the least practical interior ever designed into a vehicle (a local RTOC had one on display a few years ago).

[proserpina65]

Shit Hits The Fan.

Ah, that makes sense.

[Jamoche]

IBGard "calms the angry gods"?

 

*rewind*

 

Oh. It "calms the angry gut", according to the text. I still hear an "s" on the end of it.

[ennui]

Actually, eHarmony asks all these faith-based questions and used to reject people who weren't religious enough.

eHarmony also subscribes to the notion that the man should be 2” taller than the woman, so there’s that. However, I’ve known a few people who married via eHarmony, so I won’t judge their methods. Wasn’t there another dating website for the eH rejects? eChemistry, or something like that? I can’t imagine not being able to get a date IRL, signing up for a website, and being rejected there, too.

For all that think a Hummer looks ridiculous, I think Smart cars look like skateboards with a cover.

[smittykins]

Part of me is surprised that Smart cars are even street legal; they look like a strong gust of wind would blow them over.

I can't remember which dating site it was, but I liked the ad with they guy looking at a Playboy centerfold, then closing the magazine and saying "Nope! Still gay."

[mmecorday]

I think Smart Cars look like hermit crabs with wheels.

 

I like to think that I'm semi-smart, but I don't understand what's going on in this Geico commercial. Did someone in the office dump pig's blood on a prom queen with telekinesis?

 

[Brattinella]

I think MOST new cars look like shitboxes.  I long for the days when I could identify each and every new car.  I saw an ad last night with a brilliant red car, and it looked to have a Firebird decal on the hood!  They don't make those anymore, do they?  And if it IS a Firebird, my first bf will roll in his grave!  Looked like just another shitbox to me.

[DeLurker]

 

a Firebird decal on the hood!

 

Oh jeez...I was just kidding a couple of weeks ago when I said that is what we'd see next!

[proserpina65]

I think MOST new cars look like shitboxes.  I long for the days when I could identify each and every new car.  I saw an ad last night with a brilliant red car, and it looked to have a Firebird decal on the hood!  They don't make those anymore, do they?  And if it IS a Firebird, my first bf will roll in his grave!  Looked like just another shitbox to me.

It's a Car Max ad - a woman is taking her Firebird out for one last spin before trading it in at Car Max.

[Eliot]

I am fascinated, puzzled, and oddly repulsed by the new Schwab ad with the passive-aggressive father & son conversation in the restaurant. You can feel their mutual hostility simmering beneath the surface, and I always come away from it wondering what went so terribly, terribly wrong in their relationship that they ended up in this place.

 

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/AwfU/charles-schwab-father-and-son

[Ubiquitous]

For all that think a Hummer looks ridiculous, I think Smart cars look like skateboards with a cover.

Smart cars look like pregnant roller skates to me.

 

I like to think that I'm semi-smart, but I don't understand what's going on in this Geico commercial. Did someone in the office dump pig's blood on a prom queen with telekinesis?

 

Yeah, I wondered how getting hacked would make all that happen, but I was amused by the guy getting "fire hosed" with ice cubes from the break room fridge.

[OSM Mom]

My BIL drives a smart car. I always tease him about it. He always brings up that they have about 5 star crash rating. Maybe so. But I'd rather be in a F250 pickup. We always say that if you get creamed in a smart car, they just bury you and the car. Because you've become one with the car.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Smart cars look like pregnant roller skates to me.

It's a street-legal golf cart.

 

 

We always say that if you get creamed in a smart car, they just bury you and the car. Because you've become one with the car.

I've heard that an uncle used to drive a small foreign car, not unlike the Smart, many years ago, that the family referred to as a "coffin on wheels".

[stillhere1900]

Linzess: Do not give to children under 6. Should not be given to children 6-17.

 

Why don't they just say not to give to children under 18 ?

[mmecorday]

And don't you love the casual way the woman says "It may harm them" ?

[Moose135]

Linzess: Do not give to children under 6. Should not be given to children 6-17.

 

Why don't they just say not to give to children under 18 ?

 

I'm not a doctor (nor did I stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night...) but it's possible there are some rare situations where it may be appropriate for children between 6 and 17, although it's not something that should be done regularly, while there may be medical reasons why it should never be given to a child under 6 - the difference between "do not" and "should not".

[ari333]

Linzess: Do not give to children under 6. Should not be given to children 6-17.

 

Why don't they just say not to give to children under 18 ?

 

I know right? IS there some kind of weird semantics play bw should not and do not?  

Ooops I just read Moose's post... Yeah, that.

But let's  face it. It is confusing at a glance. :-)

[Brattinella]

Okay, I just watched a commercial for (I think) Maybelline, the product is called MATTE GLOSS.  That is an oxymoron.

[Sandman87]

Maybe it's intended for people named "Matt", but I suspect that they're trying to convey that it's midway between matte and gloss. Unfortunately there's already a word for that: Semi-gloss.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Yeah, but semi-gloss is a house paint thing. I doubt they'd want the conflation. ;-)

[Sandman87]

You're right. Maybelline products would be more appropriately compared to spackle than to house paint.

[theatremouse]

Okay, I just watched a commercial for (I think) Maybelline, the product is called MATTE GLOSS.  That is an oxymoron.

I mean...my knee jerk reaction agrees with you, but on the other hand...I wonder if they're saying "gloss" not just in the sense of the finish, but the product. ie, it's what most people would call "lip gloss", but hey, in a matte finish. Now, how that would not just be...lipstick...I don't know. But I don't use cosmetics so I wouldn't. Still, if I try to think of a reason they'd say this other than not understanding words...that'd be my guess: they couldn't come up with another way to say "the stuff that is lip gloss but not glossy". Assuming lip gloss serves any purpose other than being glossy...

[Brattinella]

I think you are correct,  theatremouse.  The product IS matte finish, not a shimmer there.  But the APPLICATION of said product COULD be called gloss.

[NYGirl]

I get the commercial for Mitsubishi but I never understood why the ninja is there:

 

[Maverick]

Because the cabin is supposedly so quiet, like a ninja sneaking up on someone.

[Prevailing Wind]

They should call it what it is...matte lip goo.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Still, if I try to think of a reason they'd say this other than not understanding words...that'd be my guess: they couldn't come up with another way to say "the stuff that is lip gloss but not glossy". Assuming lip gloss serves any purpose other than being glossy...

Lip gloss is often tinted, for when you want some color, but for it not to be as obvious as lipstick, for what ads call the "natural look".

[Cobalt Stargazer]

This commercial is so bizarre:

 

 

 

Will taking this drug make everyone but you look like they are made of paper? Because, if so? You can keep that to yourself.

[Brattinella]

It is amazing to me that with the plethora of new drugs (and their advertising), shortly after you see one of these new drugs with their million TERRIBLE side effects, there is a commercial to SUE the bad results/death from the EXACT SAME DRUG!

 

Drug companies are vultures.

[smittykins]

I'm still waiting for an "Ask your doctor if X is right for you" commercial to be directly followed by an "X is DANGEROUS!!1!1" ad,(I know others have seen it, I haven't yet.)

Edited March 7, 2016 by smittykins

[Brattinella]

I just LOVE the ad where the guy just gets out of the hospital for a blood clot (treated successfully with Warfarin, costing about 15 cents a dose)  And he wonders aloud "Maybe I could find something BETTER than Warfarin?"  So, he decides to ask his doctor for Eliquis (treats the same thing, but... it costs about 20 bucks a dose AND there is no antidote for it!  If you accidentally take an overdose. you will bleed to death internally.

Yeah, "Nomattah" that they cured you in the hospital with cheap ol' reliable Warfarin, huh?  There IS a class action suit for Eliquis now, btw.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

It is amazing to me that with the plethora of new drugs (and their advertising), shortly after you see one of these new drugs with their million TERRIBLE side effects, there is a commercial to SUE the bad results/death from the EXACT SAME DRUG!

 

Drug companies are vultures.

 

The ad for Toujeo actually says that the drug can cause heart failure even if you have no history of it. Yeah, that's something I want a prescription for.

[Prevailing Wind]

I think the heart failure comes from seeing your world turn into origami.

[proserpina65]

It is amazing to me that with the plethora of new drugs (and their advertising), shortly after you see one of these new drugs with their million TERRIBLE side effects, there is a commercial to SUE the bad results/death from the EXACT SAME DRUG!

 

Drug companies are vultures.

Attorneys are vultures.

[stillhere1900]

Attorneys are vultures.

 

Until you need one.

[proserpina65]

Until you need one.

I don't disagree.  Doesn't mean I can't think they're vultures, especially the ambulance chasing sort.  Of whom I know a few, since I work in the legal system.

[mmecorday]

 

I just LOVE the ad where the guy just gets out of the hospital for a blood clot (treated successfully with Warfarin, costing about 15 cents a dose)  And he wonders aloud "Maybe I could find something BETTER than Warfarin?"

I had a pulmonary embolism several years ago. Believe me, "upping my game" by switching to another blood thinner was the last thing on my mind when I was leaving the hospital. I was just overjoyed to be going home after 19 days!

 

 

I think the heart failure comes from seeing your world turn into origami.

I hope you have space in your house for the Internet, because you just won it.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Why does this woman look like she fell asleep in a wind tunnel?

 

 

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/A2f5/natrol-melatonin-own-sleep

Edited March 10, 2016 by Cobalt Stargazer

[Brattinella]

Why does this woman look like she fell asleep in a wind tunnel?

 

*That's what my hair usually looks like when I wake up*

[mmecorday]

It looks like she woke up in 1985. Kind of like Jane:

 

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/AZNT/dannon-light-and-fit-jane