19 Parodies and Counting: The Goofy Thread

[kalamac]

I have Sims Freeplay on the iPad. You can't kill anyone, but since a few updates ago, you can leave babies and toddlers at home indefinitely, while the parents are off doing other things.

You used to be able to have any sleep in any bed, with any other Sim, and now it's only if they're a couple.

[Jenniferbug]

I just had to chime in on the Sims love. I miss playing Sims 2 a lot!

[ChocolateAddict]

I still have and occasionally play Sims 2! I was never bothered to upgrade to 3 or 4 especially because I have 10 expansion packs for Sims 2.  My friend had Sims 4 and whenever we played it together I was always surprised at how advanced it was compared to my outdated old Sims 2, hahaha.  

[Jenniferbug]

I love 2 but my new computer won't run it. I skipped 3 but have played 4 and it just doesn't have the same charm for me that 2 does. I lost interest very quickly.

I am glad to see I'm not the only one who contemplated a Duggar type family in the game!

[Tabbygirl521]

"The Rambling Gothards" is my new band name. We will play "Deliverance"-style banjo music.

[What In The]

"The Rambling Gothards" is my new band name. We will play "Deliverance"-style banjo music.

Cool! Do you have a song called Running from the Mullet? If so, please send me a copy.

[JennyMominFL]

Cool! Do you have a song called Running from the Mullet? If so, please send me a copy.

In my head, it's Running from Mullet, to the tune of Running on Empty by Jackson Browne

[Aja]

If you're going to play Deliverance style music, you need a band name that includes the front man's nickname. For example, Dirty Feet and The Rambling Gothards.

 

In my head, it's Running from Mullet, to the tune of Running on Empty by Jackson Browne

I am laughing so freaking hard right now.

Edited July 10, 2015 by Aja

[What In The]

That sounds good! I like Jackson Browne even if he's before my time. Somebody's Baby is good too. You could do something like that. She must be somebody's broodmare?

[JennyMominFL]

Runing from, Running from Mullet,
Running from, Running fast aahhhhh
Runing from the side hugs
and the Tater Tot House 

[truthtalk2014]

Running from the Mullet- in the tune of Van Halen's running with the devil.  Ahh! Perfect!

[Muffyn]

Somebody's Baby works for all of the Duggar kids.  After all, they are JB and Mechelle's babies, but through how much of their up-bringing could their parents not be spotted (unless someone was willing to be defrauded in the most disgusting way by opening their parents' bedroom door - the humanity!).  

 

She must be somebody's baby

She's go to be somebody's baby

Where's her mom?

[Jordan Baker]

"The Sound of Music" was mentioned in another thread. I can just picture Michelle, reminiscing of a time when she was pregnant with Jennifer, singing:

 

I've Got Sixteen, Going on Seventeen . . .

[JoanArc]

 

I've Got Sixteen, Going on Seventeen . . .

I'm mentally Sixteen, going on Seventeen...

[babyhouseman]

Song for Josh. Little Sister by Elvis. 

My lyrics

"Little Sister don't you, Little Sister don't you,

Don't you tempt me once or twice...."

 

I'm going to hell or the prayer closet. 

[Tabbygirl521]

I am thinking of an old Maria Muldaur song, something about, "Don't you touch my leg..."

Edited July 11, 2015 by Tabbygirl521

[dillpickles]

Song for Josh. Little Sister by Elvis.

My lyrics

"Little Sister don't you, Little Sister don't you,

Don't you tempt me once or twice...."

I'm going to hell or the prayer closet.

Or the prayer closet in hell!

[kokapetl]

Because I know that you have all been waiting for these updates :)

Chapter 9

Jana

We finally pick out a crib for the nursery! So far we have picked out the wallpaper, crib, high chairs, and some decorations. "This rocking chair is so cute!" Jill says and points to a plain wooden rocking chair. "It's so old fashioned." I say. I love it! "Logan told me he wants the baby changing station to be blue. He says there has to be something manly looking in the room." I tell all the girls. We all laugh. "Oh yes, blue is very manly." My mom says sarcastically. "You know, your father said the exact same thing when you were born, Jana. I was picking out a ton of girly pink stuff for you and he reminded me we had to have some blue for John David." We all laugh again.

"I want to get a letter to put above each one of their cribs. The first letter of their name." I tell everyone. "You haven't told us what your naming them yet!" Joy says. "I know! I want it to be a surprise. I'll just tell you that their names begin with..."

Chapter 10

Jana

"You haven't told us what your naming them yet!" Joy says. "I know! I want it to be a surprise. I'll just tell you that their names begin with the letters A and B." I say. "Not the same letter? Cool! That's what I'm doing too." Jill says. "I want the A to be pink and the B to be purple." I say. "How about we buy the wooden letters and we can get all the little girls to paint them! We could paint the base colors and then they could paint anything on top." My mom suggest. "That's a great idea!" The little girls will love doing that. I'm so excited now! I'm so glad my family came shopping with me.

(Week later)

"Okay girls. Josie and Jennifer will paint the letter A with purple paint. The base color is pink. Jordyn, Johannah, and Mackynzie will paint the letter B with pink paint. The base color is purple. Any questions ladies?" I ask the young ones. They shake their heads and begin painting. "Keep the paint on the letters!" I remind them. They are over at my house. It's girls night! Plus Logan. After we are done painting they are going to go swimming in the pool and we'll eat dinner. "Jana when are you having your baby boy?" Josie asks me. "No Josie, I'm having a baby girls. They're twins. And I don't know when they're coming. But I do know that they are due August 13, I have four more months left of my pregnancy." "That's close to my birthday!" Jennifer tells me. "I know! Your birthday is August 2." I say. "Are yall ready to meet your nieces?" Logan asks the girls. They all scream "yeah!" except Mackynzie. "And Mackynzie are you ready to meet your cousin?" Logan asks her. Then she screams "yeah!" too. They finish painting and then get in their bathing suits to swim.

Stay tuned for more chapters of "Jana's Miracle" !!

It's up to chapter 21 at This place

[ChocolateAddict]

Thanks Kokapetl! To recap for everyone (I have had wayyyy too much time on my hands these holidays!)

-At Boob's suggestion, everyone goes on a cruise to the Bahamas.  Funnily enough, Boob isn't willing to actually pay for the trip. 

-Marjorie and Josiah treat this trip as a "pre-wedding honeymoon" but since they aren't married, they naturally can't be sleeping in the same room.  Or even in a room by themselves without a chaperon, lest they be overcome by dangerous hormones and become the on-board entertainment.  

-long winded discussion about breakfast foods

-Joy asks to go to the Teen Club and (I'm not making this up), she is allowed to go as long as she takes someone else and refrains from dancing.  Fictional Joy promises not to dance so that she can actually meet someone her own age which is sad because I could see Real Life Joy having to do this. 

-Jana goes into labor a month and a half early (while on the ship), calls for Jill and cries because she has to go to hospital when she wanted a home birth.  It would have been nice to see Fictional Jana accept the need for a hospital but I suppose that Real Life Jill set the excellent example of avoiding medical attention for as long as possible. 

-Jill and Michelle stay out of the hospital room when Jana gives birth.  Spot the plot hole!

-The rugrats are Aubrey (5lbs 9oz) and Brooklyn (5lbs 6oz).  Isn't there a Duggar with Brooklyn as a middle name? 

There are also lots of moments where Michelle bonds with her daughters which I decided to leave out on the basis that it stretches the boundaries of realism.  

[What In The]

Jana stared blankly outside the window where snow was just now starting to gather into piles on the ground. "So, are you ready"? She turned to her client Camryn, who sat silently. "Well, don't be nervous, just tell your story and all of it. Your testimony is all we need! Once you open your mouth, he will be put away!" As she spoke, she was almost in tears. It wasn't that long ago that her abuser had been hugging her for helping deliver his second daughter. She stil felt anger but this wasn't about her. Not this time. She knew that when she left her life with.....that woman and enrolled in paralegal studies, she made the right choice.

To be continued.

[bigskygirl]

Some of the posts were moved to the Small Talk Thread. Please remember this is the Duggar 19 Parodies and Counting Thread. The stories were cute and funny, but please try to take the off topic discussion to the Small Talk Thread. Thank you.

[JoanArc]

The song is RUINED FOREVER now. I can live with that.

 

[Joe Jitsu913]

The song is RUINED FOREVER now. I can live with that.

Someone get me the Holy water. I need a blessing (and some brain bleach).

[flyingdi]

I think the Duggars should try to save their careers. Perhaps by appearing on an episode of America's second most famous religious family`s show. Jim Bob could go head to head with Phil in an alpha male spitting contest. I would like to see Jim Bob get his ass whipped by a 70 year old. Kay could teach Michelle how to cook. Si and the boys could take the Duggar kids out for some fun. Sadie could teach the girls it's okay to have goals. Plus, she's single. Imagine the ratings for that courtship! There's all kinds of possibilities if you can stomach it.

Edited July 17, 2015 by flyingdi

[kokapetl]

[kokapetl]

[kandinski]

Always thought Jana was way more pretty than Jessa...

[roamyn]

Always thought Jana was way more pretty than Jessa...

I agree. Jinger is too bronze, Jessa wears too much make-up, Jill is plain (though she did look pretty during the courtship & meeting Derrick).

But I think Jenny will end up being thr beauty. Her or maybe Johanna.

Of the guys, the dark haired twin is very good looking & Josiah isn't hard on the eyes either.

[zenme]

I think Jana is the prettier of the girls as well.  Jinger has really grown into being a really pretty girl too--not classically pretty, but very pretty nonetheless.  Jessa is pretty, but she knows it, so that detracts from her, and Jill seems to really love Derick.

Edited July 18, 2015 by zenme

[Aja]

I'm just throwing this out there…at the moment, my life is eerily similar to Mary Richard's life in the Mary Tyler Moore show except I do not have a Rhoda in the giant house I live in that was turned into weirdly laid-out apartments. Open invitation, Duggar girls!  You're gonna make it after all….

[kokapetl]

[dillpickles]

*clutches pearls*

[Defrauder]

Sorry Michelle but those knees couldn't defraud  even the most desperate of a man.  Not that a man (or woman for that matter) would be actually 'defrauded' by anything you do because believe it or not men, good men, are capable of appreciating a woman's body without jumping on it. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

It's up to chapter 21 at This place

Is it anywhere else? The recap made me curious, and the sheer godawfulness of the writing (as far as it's been posted here) gives it a certain train-wreckish fascination, but I don't do instagram, and have no intention of signing on just to read this dreck.

[kokapetl]

Is it anywhere else? The recap made me curious, and the sheer godawfulness of the writing (as far as it's been posted here) gives it a certain train-wreckish fascination, but I don't do instagram, and have no intention of signing on just to read this dreck.

Part 22, the final part is up. You should be able to view it without signing up.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Part 22, the final part is up. You should be able to view it without signing up.

But what about chapters 11-21? I don't see any way to access the ones between what has been posted here and that last chapter.

Even though reading them will probably cost me some brain cells...I might well be better off not going there :D

[kokapetl]

But what about chapters 11-21? I don't see any way to access the ones between what has been posted here and that last chapter.

Even though reading them will probably cost me some brain cells...I might well be better off not going there :D

Here's the main page I view it on my phone, I just scroll down and click load more, and scroll down more. Just look for the pics of Jana captioned "Jana's Miracle". I don't have an Instagram account either.

[kokapetl]

From pickles and hairspray, this made me laugh:

Does anyone else find this photo creepy? Everyone is cooing over newborn Jordyn while Michelle looks dead. They couldn't wait to film this scene until Michelle was somewhat conscious?

I also saw a WTF picture of JimChelle posing with a half dozen teenage girls in bikini bottoms!

Also:

Edited July 24, 2015 by Kokapetl

[derriereslechats]

Lmao that Jinger is just Jinger.

[dillpickles]

Also:

Poor Jinger, poor poor Jinger.

[kokapetl]

[kokapetl]

[Churchhoney]

Many years ago, when I had free time, I was playing the Sims and paired up two J-named parents who both wanted tons of kids.  Through "God's plan" (aka doing "try for baby" as soon as J-mom gestated her latest blessing), the J-parents welcomed 10 kids within a span of a few dozen Sim-days.  Just to be creative with naming, all children were named starting with "Ja-."  I revisited my game recently to find:

 

(from oldest to youngest:)

Jayden (female; graduated from Sim University, married, and had only two kids.  Mostly focused on her career.)

Jacob (male; also graduated from Sim U.  In a rather unconventional lifestyle choice, he became pregnant with twins through a game hack while his wife became the family breadwinner)

Jamie (male; turned blue from frostbite as a child due to lack of proper insulation and heating in the J-home.  Currently toiling away at Sim U.  I hate that expansion pack - it's so tedious)

Janet (female; also toiling away at Sim U)

Jared (male; so desperate to escape the J-prison he moved in with his teenaged girlfriend across town)

Jacqueline (female; once she became a teen, she also needed to escape the J-compound, and she moved in with her sane older sister Jayden)

Jasmine (female; she hooked up with the maid and moved to college with her)

Jamelia (female; still a kid stuck in the J-home)

Jack (male; toddler still at home)

Jardenia (female, baby; still at home)

 

Unlike their J-pseudonamesakes, the J-parents here are anxious to have their kids move out as soon as they become teens.  That way there is room for more J-babies in their 3-bedroom home (1 parental bedroom, 1 nursery, and 1 communal sleeping space for the others).  Unlike in the real world, there is a maximum to how many Sims can live in a single lot at once, and if a Sim family is over the limit, no new little blessings can be made.

 

For future J'babies, I was considering such lovely names as:

- Jaeger

- Jarvis

- Jarmaine

- Jacinta

- Jael

- Janiyah

- Jaslene

 

I like the sound of Jiggles, Jedi and Jackass.  

 

Guess that third one's already taken by Jim Bob, though.

Edited July 28, 2015 by Churchhoney

[NewDigs]

Thanks all!

Funny stuff!

Helps to take the Duggar edge off.

[kokapetl]

[Bella]

If MEchelle were to write a pop-up book , as I speculated in her thread, she could have each kid pop up on a separate page as if she's giving birth all over again. I can't believe I came up with an idea that tacky and tasteless, but even worse, I think she'd think it was a great idea.

[dillpickles]

If MEchelle were to write a pop-up book , as I speculated in her thread, she could have each kid pop up on a separate page as if she's giving birth all over again. I can't believe I came up with an idea that tacky and tasteless, but even worse, I think she'd think it was a great idea.

If only she gave birth to one of them on the toilet. ..

[JoanArc]

If MEchelle were to write a pop-up book , as I speculated in her thread, she could have each kid pop up on a separate page as if she's giving birth all over again. I can't believe I came up with an idea that tacky and tasteless, but even worse, I think she'd think it was a great idea.

The kids could cut into the paper for the births where Michelle had an episiotomy, or c-section.

[Churchhoney]

If MEchelle were to write a pop-up book , as I speculated in her thread, she could have each kid pop up on a separate page as if she's giving birth all over again. I can't believe I came up with an idea that tacky and tasteless, but even worse, I think she'd think it was a great idea.

 

I assume the book would start with an, ahem, pop-up Jim Bob?

 

I can't believe I just made your tacky and tasteless suggestion even more tacky and tasteless.

 

ETA: In more good news for the Duggars, a book by Michelle about her kids wouldn't cost too much in artists' salaries since all the kids would look just the same.

Edited August 3, 2015 by Churchhoney

[Bella]

I assume the book would start with an, ahem, pop-up Jim Bob?

But it would be a brief pop-up Jim Bob. MEchelle says that sex doesn't take that long. Or is over with quickly. Or something. She really doesn't have a clue, does she?