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S05.E23: Secrets Revealed


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Ermahgerd!!!

That Pilates studio that Kim went to with Brandi (and claims to attend on the regular) is right near my house. In Encino. In the Valley.

Surely, there are fancy Pilates studios in the Hills of Beverly?

  • Love 4
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Bravo needs to bring back Camille and Adrienne.

They both brought so much to the franchise, IMO.

Lisa R has the best clothes, beautiful woman.

She also looked incredible in the Playboy pictorials both time.

Lisa Vanderpump's French is marginal at best. Did she say that she lived there for a while?

Kyle was honest in her assessment of her childhood and frankly Porsha would be better served by having a regular childhood. She looks so much like Mauricio, cute little girl with very expressive eyes.

Kim Richards is funny despite of herself. I actually liked that she went to the Valley to take Pilates lessons, isn't it where she lives?

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If Kim gets community service for assaulting a police officer, she'll be doing that in an orange vest.

 

The ID Channel taught me never to meet someone you fear who has sent you threatening textses in a heavily wooded, remote and  deserted park.  I'm surprised she didn't bring her son Kingsley for protection.  ;-)

This to me was hysterical. Kim has no common sense at all.

Lisa R. is not that great of an actress, she could have played that scene better and bring out the funny.

  • Love 7
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I spent such a pleasant hour with the housewives last night....

 

... it makes me think about what should have been cut so we might have seen some more of those scenes during the season.  The one that immediately leaps to mind is the Gay Mixer.  And I really didn't think it was a bad idea or mind seeing all the ladies with their gay friends and hearing them mix it up with the guests.  What I did mind was the staged fight.  I give both Brandi and Kyle a pass for that fight.  I think once Brandi got the invite from Kim, she knew why she had to go and what she had to do there.  Same for Kyle - once Kyle saw Brandi walk in she knew what was going to happen that evening.  I think we saw Kyle walking around the room, collecting herself, getting ready for her next "scene" - the brouhaha with Brandi. 

 

They did it because they are good Bravo employees.  Bravo did it for drama, ratings?  Please Bravo the fight added nothing and I would so much rather see Eileen getting ready for the Emmys or Lisa making fun of the film festival in the valley or Lisa and Kyle seeing LRs Playboy spread.

  • Love 7
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She's not that smart. And she's very child-like, as many have discussed. The Scooby Doo reference, turtles, and I hate to agree with Brandi on anything - but I hate emojis, too, and I thought Kim's way of saying stuff in a text via emojis is very young-ish. There's arrested development there, for sure.

I think there is a time and place for emojis but telling the guy he sucked dick if he used them was crude. Unfiltered Brandi isn't she funny.  I thought the scene with Kim and Brandi just seemed so fake about what great friends they had become.  They needed some evergreen scenes and Brandi could not have look less interested if she tried.

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A behind the scenes photos of Lisa V/Kyle together from the episode tonight

15pihww.jpg

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AHA!  LisaV was correct!  

I see Kyle wearing the very wedges LisaV said Brandi tried to drive between Kim and Kyle. ;)

  • Love 10
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I totally agree with this. I'm on the team that found the beginning of the season dull, but I loved last night's episode. I think it was because we saw real, organic relationships between the women:

It's ok. Im on your team here. Team minority is fine by me. But I can understand every episode doesn't have to be drama or a complete utter snoozefest. Balance is what makes a great TV show me. I like watching the glam and fancy homes but I also love watching the drama. I cant lie to myself. I have fallen into the Bravo vortex of DramabyBravo . Dont shoot me.

Yet I still want Kim AND Brandi off my screen. Over them.

Edited by BlackMamba
  • Love 13
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I wrote a recap of this episode.  It's called Kim and the Coyote and it's up on nellkalter.com for anyone who is interested!

I have to say that I love you and your recaps (the one for NY espcially cracked me up). They are everything and you are just funny as hell. I actually came on here this morning to post the link to your site (thank goodness for Vulture because I couldn't find it originally) and am so glad that you posted the reminder. If I lived in a state where that kind of thing was legal, I think I would propose to you, wonderful husband at home be damned.

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So for all of the talk from people this season about how the other women have nothing going on in their lives except to talk about Kim and Brandi I think this episode proved what many of us had been saying all along.

 

Brandi, this is what vindication feels like. 

 

I really like it when Kyle and Lisa are friends with each other and I hope they stay on good terms next season. It's also nice to know that their friendship rankles Brandi. ;-)

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Boy, Kim's version of the "I'm worried about you" talk didn't exactly work out as planned. Lisa calmly explained herself and Kim had no choice but to throw herself into traffic.

It was a strange non-conversation. Lisa was trying to explain herself and Kim dismissed it as her bringing up the past. Did Lisa say she already apologized for the texts before this conversation took place? I thought she mentioned it, but I might have misheard. It is like Kim wanted Lisa to grovel and paint her as so unstable that she wants to physically hurt Kim. 

  • Love 9
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I loved this episode; I don't know why most of this footage couldn't have been folded in to the back half of the season to temper the acrimony.

 

A couple of things: Loved Kyle & Portia at the speech therapist.  As much as Kyle bugs on many levels, I absolutely believe she loves her kids and does everything she can to be a great mom.  BUT they have GOT to stop sitting on the kitchen counter.  Kyle's done it before and now she's got Portia crawling around on it.  It just makes me worry they'll fall over and bust a bone.

 

Savage Steve Hollland!  Wow, never thought I'd see him on a RH ep!  Better Off Dead is one of my favorite movies from my childhood.

 

I wish LisaVP would stop driving the grandchild train so hard.  Maybe her daughter & SIL aren't ready, maybe they're having fertility problems.  I've known too many people with fertility issues that are exacerbated by mom/MIL pressure.  It's not a good look.

 

And that 1930s something house Mauricio showed Yolanda?  Want it.  Just need $14+M.  Maybe I'll start a gofundme. :)

  • Love 9
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Kim crawling over the guardrail and wandering off down the road into the wilderness was just too hilarious! End scene indeed!

 

ETA: mbaywife123 - LMAO! "And now I'll show myself out, with dignity - by climbing over a cement wall!

 

I was dying. Like, I'm very sure that her car was parked somewhere over there, but you couldn't see it so it looked like she was just wandering off to nowhere. Hilarious.

This will never not be funny.

 

I need Kim to be off of this show but I'll be damned if she hasn't given us a few gems this season. She gave us 100% pain, "you beast", "you don't know what I go through at night", and the dignified exit to nowhere.

  • Love 10
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I really enjoyed this episode as well.  I really enjoyed the Brandi-less-ness of it :)

 

I will say I think the beginning of the season feels kinda slow when there is no drama, mostly because we know it is coming & this episode feels refreshing because we are all emotionally spent from the drama, especially the 3 part reunions.   I really like the light-heartedness of it.

 

With that said, Brandi & Kim can just go now...

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It was a strange non-conversation. Lisa was trying to explain herself and Kim dismissed it as her bringing up the past. Did Lisa say she already apologized for the texts before this conversation took place? I thought she mentioned it, but I might have misheard. It is like Kim wanted Lisa to grovel and paint her as so unstable that she wants to physically hurt Kim.

It's really not strange for Kim, though. It's her m.o. - to control the narrative, dictate everything that is said and done. I just read some teasers for the Dr. Phil interview, and it sounds like the same thing going on as with her meeting in the woods with LisaR. She went in with a game plan, and when Dr. Phil/LisaR went off-script, she bolted - out of the Beverly Wilshire, and into the woods, apparently.

  • Love 10
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When Kim was talking to LisaR about how frightening it was that Lisa had threatened to fuck her up, I wish Lisa had screamed "HAVE I DONE IT YET?" like Brandi did at Kyle.  And why did Lisa have to apologize to her for the threats when Brandi never apologized to Kyle, which Kim had no problem with?  And why am I even questioning anything Kim does when its obvious just how fucked up she already is (with no help from LisaR)? 

 

I'll be watching the Dr. Phil show because I want to see how Kim tries to spin everything and just how much of her shit Phil will be buying.  He'd better be as tough with her as I've seen him be with other addicts!  The last thing she needs is more coddling.

  • Love 10
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I also agree with all the posters who think the sight of Kim randomly crawling over a concrete wall and wandering off into traffic was absolutely PERFECT, and frankly, I would love it to serve as her final shot on the whole series.

 

 

From your mouth to Andy's ears!

 

The ID Channel taught me never to meet someone you fear who has sent you threatening textses in a heavily wooded, remote and  deserted park.

 

 

First of all, why can't she pronounce "texts?"

 

And second, as a fellow ID Discovery aficionado, I was like, "You invited Lisa R to a remote location in order to ask her if your life was in danger? Amateur!"

 

ETA: My other takeaway from the episode is that Lisa R is a nice and fun person with no qualms about poking fun at herself (the Playboy pictorial) and a low-maintenance, consummate professional (the Hallmark movie shoot).

Edited by missy jo
  • Love 17
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So for all of the talk from people this season about how the other women have nothing going on in their lives except to talk about Kim and Brandi I think this episode proved what many of us had been saying all along.

 

Yes and I hope those IIC are reading and listening to what many of us are saying about what we want to see on the show.

 

Thank you guys for making this season bearable and really, at all watchable.  

Your humor has entertained and your amazing stories of struggle, survival and triumph have been inspiring.  

I guess I will have to see who is coming back before I commit to watching next season.  

This final episode was so fun that I think I'm done with the complete fuckery that is Rum Raisin and Ratchet Barbie.  

 

Deuces, my Beasts! <3

You 100% stole my Goddamn Heart!  

Edited by SwordQueen
  • Love 22
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A behind the scenes photos of Lisa V/Kyle together from the episode tonight

15pihww.jpg

eamjva.jpg

4g3dvo.jpg

 

That was my favorite little "throwaway" scene from last night. Well, in addition to the scene where they are googling pictures of naked Lisa R. When these 2 are "on," they are just so good together. 

 

They both look great, but.as somebody with a weak ankle, Lisa's pointy high heels terrify me.  How the hell does she walk around in those things all the time??

  • Love 5
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Yes and I hope those IIC are reading and listening to what many of us are saying about what we want to see on the show.

 

Thank you guys for making this season bearable and really, at all watchable.  

Your humor has entertained and your amazing stories of struggle, survival and triumph have been inspiring.  

I guess I will have to see who is coming back before I commit to watching next season.  

This final episode was so fun that I think I'm done with the complete fuckery that is Rum Raisin and Ratchet Barbie.  

 

Deuces, my Beasts! <3

You 100% stole my Goddamn Heart!  

 

I'll be back next season - if that counts for anything ...  :~)

  • Love 7
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I'll be back next season - if that counts for anything ...  :~)

 

LOL!   Okay, if you are here for Season 6, I will be as well.  If things get to be too Goddamn much we'll hang out in the cabana and watch cute animal vids.  

Edited by SwordQueen
  • Love 8
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The shot of Kim climbing the concrete wall was wonderful.  I assumed she was on her way back to Skid Row to drink Fireball Whiskey out of a brown bag.

 

Reminded me of a roach exposed to the light and goes running back in to the sewer of darkness to hide.

 

The bitch of it is that this shows they had this discussion before and Kim shut it down and ran away because she didn't like it. Lisa R was rational and willing to talk. Skip to the reunion and  Kim starts in again, Lisa is ashamed and Kim is like Kingsley ragging her till Lisa is sobbing then pretends to be nice, doesn't apologize and goes in for a consoling hug. EXACTLY what she did to Kyle about the house, Kim verbally and emotionally beat Kyle up then when Kyle is a mess Kim puts on the good sister mask to console her victim.

 

She is an abuser.

  • Love 21
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It's really not strange for Kim, though. It's her m.o. - to control the narrative, dictate everything that is said and done. I just read some teasers for the Dr. Phil interview, and it sounds like the same thing going on as with her meeting in the woods with LisaR. She went in with a game plan, and when Dr. Phil/LisaR went off-script, she bolted - out of the Beverly Wilshire, and into the woods, apparently.

Maybe there was an outhouse in the woods.

  • Love 6
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I'll be back next season - if that counts for anything ...  :~)

 

I won't be if Kim Richards is on sober or not. I can't stand the mean bitch, I won't watch if she's back even if they show a better side of her. I'm tired of her. Lives or dies I don't care

  • Love 9
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I wish LisaVP would stop driving the grandchild train so hard

Well, maybe so...but I find it rather refreshing that there is at least ONE of these hw's who doesn't go totally catatonic at the very mention of being referred to as 'grannie'.

 

Gives a rather different perspective to the 'menopause mamas' slam often uttered by the resident 'slut-pig' BG.

  • Love 13
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This will never not be funny.

 

I need Kim to be off of this show but I'll be damned if she hasn't given us a few gems this season. She gave us 100% pain, "you beast", "you don't know what I go through at night", and the dignified exit to nowhere.

Kim's exit scene reminded me of a comedy sketch where the antagonist stomps off through a door, slams it behind her, only to open it a minute later to show that she mistakenly entered a closet. The only thing that would have made it truly perfect would have been if before leaving she'd said to Lisa "I SAID good day!".

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LOL!   Okay, if you are here for Season 6, I will be as well.  If things get to be too Goddamn much we'll hang out in the cabana and watch cute animal vids.  

 

Fuck the salmonella turtles, SwordQueen, it's dancing dogs and jocularity in the cabana for us!  :-D

  • Love 6
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Question for everyone : At the reunion part 3, didn't Andy ask if Kim and Lisa had spoken since the season finale party ? And didn't Kim say "non" the wait a minute yes, she sent me these texts, and proceeds to read them. So, just when was the sniper of Lisa and Kim in the woods filmed.  Were those holograms of the two and they did not actually meet face to face.  Why not say yes, we did meet and discuss these texts.  I find this a little confusing.

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Question for everyone : At the reunion part 3, didn't Andy ask if Kim and Lisa had spoken since the season finale party ? And didn't Kim say "non" the wait a minute yes, she sent me these texts, and proceeds to read them. So, just when was the sniper of Lisa and Kim in the woods filmed.  Were those holograms of the two and they did not actually meet face to face.  Why not say yes, we did meet and discuss these texts.  I find this a little confusing.

Yes, which makes the whole "part three smoking gun" promo even more disingenuous and ridiculous! The texts weren't a smoking gun in any sense of the word, esp. now that we know Kim and LisaR met and discussed them.

  • Love 6
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Question for everyone : At the reunion part 3, didn't Andy ask if Kim and Lisa had spoken since the season finale party ? And didn't Kim say "non" the wait a minute yes, she sent me these texts, and proceeds to read them. So, just when was the sniper of Lisa and Kim in the woods filmed.  Were those holograms of the two and they did not actually meet face to face.  Why not say yes, we did meet and discuss these texts.  I find this a little confusing.

Kim lied, LisaR said "I already apologized for them" and IMO, she was talking about the scene we saw last night. Kim, with Brandi's help/prodding, was trying to make LisaR look crazy to make us doubt her claims of Kim's drug use/abuse. Kim is a drugged out liar and LisaR told the truth.

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So for all of the talk from people this season about how the other women have nothing going on in their lives except to talk about Kim and Brandi I think this episode proved what many of us had been saying all along.

 

Brandi, this is what vindication feels like. 

 

I really like it when Kyle and Lisa are friends with each other and I hope they stay on good terms next season. It's also nice to know that their friendship rankles Brandi. ;-)

Yes, yes, and yes! 

 

I am 100 percent over Kim and Brandi. Kick them to the curb and let the trash man take them.

  • Love 7
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Well, maybe so...but I find it rather refreshing that there is at least ONE of these hw's who doesn't go totally catatonic at the very mention of being referred to as 'grannie'.

 

Gives a rather different perspective to the 'menopause mamas' slam often uttered by the resident 'slut-pig' BG.

 

Agreed.  I could see it being obnoxious if Pandy and Jason were still in their early 20s and not married yet or just getting married. Or have said flat out that they don't want kids. But I believe they are both close to 30 and have been married for several years now (and together for quite some time).  Plus, I really think Lisa is doing it more in a joking manner. 

 

That reminds me:  the little shot of her holding Jiggy in that pink blankie and saying "No, no, I'm not anxious for grandchildren...why would you think that?" tickled me a great deal. 

  • Love 8
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Agreed.  I could see it being obnoxious if Pandy and Jason were still in their early 20s and not married yet or just getting married. Or have said flat out that they don't want kids. But I believe they are both close to 30 and have been married for several years now (and together for quite some time).  Plus, I really think Lisa is doing it more in a joking manner. 

 

That reminds me:  the little shot of her holding Jiggy in that pink blankie and saying "No, no, I'm not anxious for grandchildren...why would you think that?" tickled me a great deal.

She is really a clever and funny lady, IMO.
  • Love 5
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I am trying desperately to understand why it is that Kim felt she was so justified in making Lisa R answer for texts she felt were threatening when she sat in a car and cussed at, kicked at and creeped Lisa (and us) the fuck out but we're not allowed to ask her to explain that behavior.

Like what goes on in her world?

Kim is one of those people whom everything happens to but she never does anything.  If I was one of the women on this show I would be done with her.  Say hello when I see her, be cordial but that's it.  Move to another side of the room when she comes in and regard her as a non entity.  She's exhausting.

 

I'd have thrown myself into traffic after that conversation if I was Lisa R.  Jesus.....

  • Love 13
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I loved this episode!  I really liked how normal everyone looked in jeans.  I liked the interaction between everyone and as much as I can't stand Kim - I would rather her be back next year then Brandi.  I would rather have both of them gone but if they kick off only one - please let it be Brandi.  I would love Camille coming back.  I loved them all playing tennis and picking fruit!  I liked how Kyle was hanging her own picture...just the mundane of it.  Lisa Rinna brings enough of the drama that Brandi isn't needed anymore.

  • Love 6
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I loved this episode!  I really liked how normal everyone looked in jeans.  I liked the interaction between everyone and as much as I can't stand Kim - I would rather her be back next year then Brandi.  I would rather have both of them gone but if they kick off only one - please let it be Brandi.  I would love Camille coming back.  I loved them all playing tennis and picking fruit!  I liked how Kyle was hanging her own picture...just the mundane of it.  Lisa Rinna brings enough of the drama that Brandi isn't needed anymore.

IMO, it would be easier for the other HW's to freeze out Brand if 1 them needs to remain, Brandi/Kim that is. Also, I don't need to see Kim try to sell her "sobriety" lie again.

  • Love 1
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IMO, it would be easier for the other HW's to freeze out Brand if 1 them needs to remain, Brandi/Kim that is. Also, I don't need to see Kim try to sell her "sobriety" lie again.

I see your point but I think if Kim stays it will be like season 1 and she won't be around and then I won't ever have to hear that screechy voice of Brandi's anymore.  I also think that Brandi brings the nastiness out in every damn scene she is in. Kim can be forgetable.

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Question for everyone : At the reunion part 3, didn't Andy ask if Kim and Lisa had spoken since the season finale party ? And didn't Kim say "non" the wait a minute yes, she sent me these texts, and proceeds to read them. So, just when was the sniper of Lisa and Kim in the woods filmed.  Were those holograms of the two and they did not actually meet face to face.  Why not say yes, we did meet and discuss these texts.  I find this a little confusing.

 

]It is confusing because Kim is a lying liar who lies. If Kim says it didn't happen, it didn't happen. Even if it was filmed, with wittnesses, and she signed a notarized affidavit. It DID NOT happen!

Edited by Giselle
  • Love 4
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I loved this episode!  I really liked how normal everyone looked in jeans.  I liked the interaction between everyone and as much as I can't stand Kim - I would rather her be back next year then Brandi.  I would rather have both of them gone but if they kick off only one - please let it be Brandi.  I would love Camille coming back.  I loved them all playing tennis and picking fruit!  I liked how Kyle was hanging her own picture...just the mundane of it.  Lisa Rinna brings enough of the drama that Brandi isn't needed anymore.

There is only one way I would tolerate Kim IF she had to be on the show. 1) They put Rocio more in the forefront and give her more scenes and interactons and 2) Kim is relegated to her washroom folding clothes and eating Cheetos. Nothing more.

  • Love 4
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I loved this episode!  I really liked how normal everyone looked in jeans.  I liked the interaction between everyone and as much as I can't stand Kim - I would rather her be back next year then Brandi.  I would rather have both of them gone but if they kick off only one - please let it be Brandi.  I would love Camille coming back.  I loved them all playing tennis and picking fruit!  I liked how Kyle was hanging her own picture...just the mundane of it.  Lisa Rinna brings enough of the drama that Brandi isn't needed anymore.

Can we draw any assumptions from Brandi's being almost absent in "Secrets Revealed"? {{{hoping}}}

  • Love 6
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Maybe Bravo can keep Kim off of Housewives by giving her her own cooking show. She could show us how to make chicken salad and repurpose Fat Burgers. Each booze soaked episode can end with her showing us how to make her drink of the day. Wait, wait... that's Sandra Lee. Never mind.

 

 

In the first episode Kim's booze soaked brain would dream up using Monty's pills as cupcake sprinkles. 

Edited by Giselle
  • Love 4
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