S10.E12: Jill's Having A....

[bigskygirl]

 

The family has a party to find out the gender of Jill and Derick's baby. Derick's mom has a surprise waiting for her in Omaha, where she is having cancer treatments

 

[Literata]

I was surprised that Joy and Jenny were allowed to see a baby penis, even on ultrasound.

[MarysWetBar]

This episode rather upset me. The whole sending Dan with flowers..and she looked so incredibly frail. I'm upset that they didn't do that differently. Why in hell couldn't they go to Cathy to do a gender reveal sideshow. ..Skype the goddamned Duggars! Look how happy his mom was. I just can't with MEchelle's insincere giggling voice taking about Cathy and her illness.Why couldn't they wait even for the reveal until Cathy was home? I mean really...Jill was pregnant for eleventy-seven months anyway. ..RIGHT?

Edited April 8, 2015 by MarysWetBar

[TigerLily20]

my question, why buy all the candy before the ultrasound?  Why not buy the candy....gasp...after the ultrasound so that way you only have to buy half the candy....and you know save money?  Same thing with the flowers, I just don't understand.......I was also surprised they went ahead and said the name on the show, what if the baby hadn't came already?  I kind of thought they wanted to keep it a secret but oh well.  With that being said we had parents use the name Saleah before (can't remember spelling though).

[3girlsforus]

I didn't see tonight's episode but I've found their disregard for Cathy's illness pretty infuriating in general.

[Jenniferbug]

I didn't understand why Derick and Dan couldn't go together to deliver the news,and surprise Cathy. I'm fine giving Jill a pass on it if she didn't feel up to travel, but I can't fathom why Derick didn't want to deliver the news himself.

[MarysWetBar]

I didn't see tonight's episode but I've found their disregard for Cathy's illness pretty infuriating in general.

I'm interested to see what others have to say but it seriously upset me.That poor woman looks so ill. They staged her sitting waiting with her laptop for Derrick to skype her. I have two sons so maybe i am projecting a bit here. ..but something about Jill and Derrick throwing a pinata and candy party with a thousand sugar-jacked kids in the background. ..just rubbed me the wrong way. Gimme that idiotic Ben over Derrick any day now. At least he has a heart and seems kind. Edited April 8, 2015 by MarysWetBar

[GEML]

I think it's fair to conclude that the Dillard family isn't close in a way that many of us traditionally understand it. Cathy kind of reminds me of my mother-in-law. When my husband was on a mission, I had just started dating my now husband and she was undergoing heart surgery. This was back before instant communication and I was with her and she was adamant about not telling or "worrying" him. I was very much in the middle, wanting a good relationship with my future MIL, and not knowing how much to tell my future husband.

But that wasn't how their family interacted. She was also a career woman (albeit blue collar) and had lost her husband when her son was young. Their family dynamic wasn't at all like mine, or most other families I knew.

So when I watch the Dillards, I sort of see that in them. They obviously care about each other, but it's not in a traditional sense. The needs in their lives haven't been traditional, and I don't think they expect or hold it against the other when BOTH Cathy and Derick, to me, act a little odd. To them, I think it's normal.

And I'm betting it's plenty strange to Jill.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

I didn't understand why Derick and Dan couldn't go together to deliver the news,and surprise Cathy. I'm fine giving Jill a pass on it if she didn't feel up to travel, but I can't fathom why Derick didn't want to deliver the news himself.

Yeah. I wish Derick (and Jill) went to deliver the news personally then have the reveal party a few days or a week later.

[VioletNevermind]

* No offense to Dan, but why the hell would anyone want the uncle of the baby to announce the gender to the grandmother?  I've had one child and no one on earth knew 1. that I was pregnant or 2. the gender before I told my mom personally.  I don't understand why they couldn't have waited for Cathy to be out of treatment or take a quick trip to the hospital to tell her.  Or Skype/FaceTime her.  Anything but send Derick's brother and film Cathy in such a frail, vulnerable state.  The poor woman is ill and might not be able to enjoy her grandchild as long as she would like.  The least these assholes could have done was share that moment with her personally before the entire pack of Duggars grabbed the spotlight yet again.

 

* I can't comprehend the logic of buying the pink and blue candy before the ultrasound instead of just waiting and buying one set of candy. 

 

* How sad is it that Jill's "buddy team" still views her as their de facto mom?

 

* Michelle's interactions with Cathy are sickeningly smug and phony.  I almost can't watch.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

Well they can save the pink candy and balloons for whoever has a girl next ;)

[cereality]

In response to why Derick and Jill didn't go to Nebraska to deliver the news and then tell the Duggars via Skype or with a gender reveal party a few days later OR why didn't Derick just go with Dan and bring flowers and/or the news himself even if Jill wasn't up to traveling -- isn't it the usual reason in that family? That's not what Jill wanted and the Duggar clan is more important. Hence -- whatever method they chose had to make the Duggars the primary party receiving news and Cathy/Dan secondary. Since Derick has become a Duggar, this worked perfectly.

[Temperance]

my question, why buy all the candy before the ultrasound?  Why not buy the candy....gasp...after the ultrasound so that way you only have to buy half the candy....and you know save money?  Same thing with the flowers, I just don't understand.......I was also surprised they went ahead and said the name on the show, what if the baby hadn't came already?  I kind of thought they wanted to keep it a secret but oh well.  With that being said we had parents use the name Saleah before (can't remember spelling though).

I totally agree with this. Especially the gift given to Miss Cathy.

 

I didn't understand why Derick and Dan couldn't go together to deliver the news,and surprise Cathy. I'm fine giving Jill a pass on it if she didn't feel up to travel, but I can't fathom why Derick didn't want to deliver the news himself.

 

 

I actually like that they included Miss Cathy. I think it was sweet. One thing I have to remember I live near some very good and well-known cancer hospitals. They did a good job with my family. Not everyone lives near the cancer hospitals. Some people have to travel a great distance in this country to get the medical treatment especially if the treatment is complicated or innovative. (Lori on Say YES to the Dress: Atlanta went several states away for her treatment: her family went on similiar visits to her side.) I thought it looked like Dan had to travel some distance to where his mother was. I know my mother treasured having her kids and other family members around when she had cancer. It's so depressing in the hospital I'm sure she was delighted to see him.  I think Dan may feel he has to play ball with his brother. He also may not be particularly excited over gender announcements, but he may have liked being there for his mom. She looked happy to see him. I actually liked Derrick's line "I think she was surprised to see it was a boy, and that he  was there and 6' 4" all ready." I think the idea was Cathy to find out when everyone else did. I liked that they skyped with her and only talked on the phone to Josh and Anna. 

 

It was better than it looked in the previews, but was mainly boring.  They kept the girl's name for next time. 

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

I don't know what the timeline is between this episode and the episode when Cathy told them she was going out of town for treatment. If someone can clarify it would be appreciated. I just think Derick at least could have taken the trip with Dan because who knows when the last time he visited was. This would be a very good reason to.

[andromeda331]

Saleah

 

Oh that's what she said. I didn't catch what the girl name they picked out.

[EarlGreyTea]

Oh that's what she said. I didn't catch what the girl name they picked out.

 

These two continue to surprise me; I always imagined them going for more traditional names. I guess we know what the next kid is going to be named.

 

Good Lord those tweets running across the top of the screen are ANNOYING. We have now found something more obnoxious than those pop-ups.

 

I love all these Monday morning quarterbacks on the show who were certain it would be a boy. I know they had a fifty percent chance of being right so it's not a huge shock, but I wonder how many of these THs were done after the fact.

 

Jill's laugh grates on my nerves but I love how sweet she is to her kids - er, her buddy team and making them feel included. Anyone else think Jenny and James looked wistful? I bet there's some jealousy there - their mom is about to have all her attention on the new baby.

Edited April 8, 2015 by EarlGreyTea

[Celia Rubenstein]

Maybe I am just imagining it, but I giggle every time I think I sense Michelle struggling to conceal her discomfort with not being the center of attention since she is not the one about to pop out a baby.  I caught a glimpse of her doing it again tonight as the camera panned across the room at the gender reveal party ... there was poor Michelle off in the background looking uncomfortable while mother-to-be Jill was the focus.  Poor ol' Michelle just looked lost, lol.  I think it's killing her that she is not the one everyone is showering attention upon.  The best was when Jill and Derrick popped in on the Bible meeting at the Duggar house to announce the pregnancy and Michelle barely managed to white-knuckle her way through the scene. She knew what was coming and she was doing everything she could to looked pleased when I think she was actually closer to stunned.  Of course I don't doubt that she is happy for her daughter and will love her new grandchild, but I think there is something about the fact that one of her own daughters has finally wrestled the birthing torch from her grasp that bothers her. A  lot.  

 

Has anyone else noticed that premature little Josie seems much smarter and verbal than some of her older siblings?  Tonight I noticed a talking head where one of her older sisters was parroting what Josie was saying instead of the other way around.  Lil' Josie might have got off to a rocky start but she may turn out to be the brightest of the bunch (not to damn her with faint praise, lol ... you know what I mean).

Edited April 8, 2015 by Celia Rubenstein

[andromeda331]

Anyone else think Jenny and James looked wistful? I bet there's some jealousy there - their mom is about to have all her attention on the new baby.

 

I noticed that too. They didn't look like siblings excited to find out what their sister is having, they looked like older siblings worried the new baby is going to get all of the attention. I do hope one day those kids call their parents out the crappy situation they put them in. They really have no win situation, their actual parents don't care about them and they have to deal with the sibling who raised them moving out and starting their own lives. I'm not a Jill fan but its a crappy situation for her because she should be able to focus on her new marriage and new baby without having to worry or maybe feel guilty is the better word for doing something normal getting married and moving out.

[Darknight]

Why is tlc showing tweets now? And tlc pr team are really dumb. You could make more money and get more ratings if you keep up with current life and/or tell your employees to keep things secret. So Jilly Muffin has delivered baby Dilly in real life and your showing the gender revel?

[BitterApple]

Celia, omg yes!!! I'm glad I wasn't the only one who noticed how awkward Michelle looked at the party. It was like she was in a room full of strangers and didn't know where to stand or how to make conversation. So much for all the alleged one-on-one time she spends with the kids, right?

It was sweet that Jill brought her children, oops, I mean her buddy team, to the ultrasound. Poor Cathy looked so thin and frail but it didn't bother me that they sent Dan to tell her so both families could find out on the same day.

[Turquoise]

I was surprised that Joy and Jenny were allowed to see a baby penis, even on ultrasound.

I'm sure Joy has been on diaper patrol before, nothing new for her.

 

This episode rather upset me. The whole sending Dan with flowers..and she looked so incredibly frail. I'm upset that they didn't do that differently. Why in hell couldn't they go to Cathy to do a gender reveal sideshow. ..Skype the goddamned Duggars! Look how happy his mom was. I just can't with MEchelle's insincere giggling voice taking about Cathy and her illness.Why couldn't they wait even for the reveal until Cathy was home? I mean really...Jill was pregnant for eleventy-seven months anyway. ..RIGHT?

I couldn't understand about the candy and flowers, either. While I was happy they made an effort to make the day special for Cathy as well, it seems simple to text Dan, he runs to the florist, and then surprises his mom. Where did the pink flowers end up? Hope someone got to enjoy them. It was really sweet to see how thrilled Cathy was.

[truelovekiss]

I would have liked for DerickDullard to visit his mother, but then Jilly Muffin would have to throw the jender reveal party all by herself, without a headship to tell her which napkins to buy and we can't have that. I've always hated the old adage, "a daughter is a daughter for all of her life, a son is a son until he takes his wife," I think it's unfair to both sexes and untrue. But Derick and Jill are doing a great job of proving me wrong.

[BitterApple]

The old adage has actually been true in my life. My brother distanced himself when he got married and even Mr. BitterApple sees his family less the longer we've been together. Derick leaning towards the Duggars just doesn't seem all that unusual to me.

[graefin]

* Michelle's interactions with Cathy are sickeningly smug and phony.  I almost can't watch.

I think Michelle's interactions with *anyone* are phony. She really only cares about herself and seems incapable of feeling any genuine emotion. I think she was always this way, but lately it's either gotten worse or she's less adept at hiding it.

 

Also, I think it's quite a stretch to conclude that Derick and his mom aren't close based on what we've seen. There could be many reasons he didn't go visit her (finding it difficult to travel with your pregnant, emotionally needy wife attached to your hip could be one). Actually, I'd guess that he and his mom have a closer, more meaningful relationship than Jill does with her mom. But then that doesn't take much.

[bigskygirl]

This was so painful to watch!!!

 

-Jill and her constant repeating. Give it a rest. We heard you the first time.

 

-Jill has not delivered a lot of babies. She assisted with a lot of births.

 

-Jill and her giggling. Geez Louise.

 

-Another moment of not visiting Cathy and Dan to tell them the big news. It has to be about the Duggars 24/7.

 

-Why take your younger siblings with you to find out the gender of the baby? Can Jill survive five minutes without her family around?

 

-Was it Jill who kept saying 1, 2, 3 when the kids were trying hit the piñata? Talk about being obnoxious.

 

-The way Jill was talking to or should I say talking down to Josie had Michele written all over.

 

-Sending Dan to do what Derick and Jill should have done themselves. Seriously... Keep it klassy TLC, and Derick, and Jill.

 

-Derick has handed over his balls and mind to Jill, Jim Bob, and TLC.

 

-Why did Jim Bob and Michele have to talk to Cathy? Does it have to be about them 24/7.

 

-I wonder if there is some tension between Derick and Cathy in regards to getting married so fast and having a baby so fast. She may not approve of his new life and how his life is being run by his wife and father-in-law.

[Cherrio]

I didn't understand why Derick and Dan couldn't go together to deliver the news,and surprise Cathy. I'm fine giving Jill a pass on it if she didn't feel up to travel, but I can't fathom why Derick didn't want to deliver the news himself.

Because Derick is living in Jim Boob's house, does not make enough money to support house and wife , so he is now owned by Jim Boob.

[3girlsforus]

I think it's fair to conclude that the Dillard family isn't close in a way that many of us traditionally understand it. Cathy kind of reminds me of my mother-in-law. When my husband was on a mission, I had just started dating my now husband and she was undergoing heart surgery. This was back before instant communication and I was with her and she was adamant about not telling or "worrying" him. I was very much in the middle, wanting a good relationship with my future MIL, and not knowing how much to tell my future husband.

But that wasn't how their family interacted. She was also a career woman (albeit blue collar) and had lost her husband when her son was young. Their family dynamic wasn't at all like mine, or most other families I knew.

So when I watch the Dillards, I sort of see that in them. They obviously care about each other, but it's not in a traditional sense. The needs in their lives haven't been traditional, and I don't think they expect or hold it against the other when BOTH Cathy and Derick, to me, act a little odd. To them, I think it's normal.

And I'm betting it's plenty strange to Jill.

 

My husband's family is like this too. Years ago my FIL had a massive heart attack. He nearly died on the operating table and then was in pretty critical condition for several days after. We live on the other side of the country and no one even told us. About 5 days later his brother finally decided that maybe my husband should know. Uh - you think??? My MIL was really surprised I was bothered by this. Her comment was that it wasn't like we could do anything about it. We did go see them. I pointed out that in those days between the operation and us finally finding out he was still at risk for dying but was awake and able to communicate. If he had died she would have robbed both my husband and FIL of a last chance to talk to each other. I think it kind of sunk in then.

 

Anyway - my problem with how they deal with Cathy is that they DO deal with her but in a way that makes it clear she isn't relevant. I didn't see this episode but it sounds like they sent Dan to tell her. How stupid is that? I could forgive them deciding to do the gender reveal at the Duggars and then telling her in person at a a different time. I would have waiting until she was back since it's not like she was going to have the baby before she was done with treatment but I also don't have a film crew on a schedule. The wedding still bugs me too. Of course Cathy is going to continue to say 'don't worry about me. Go on with things' etc. She's a mom and that's what mom's do. But it was really clear that no matter how close or not close the Dillards are, Derick was worried about his mother that day. The Duggars barely had it on their radar and certainly were not open to any kind of postponement, moving of the ceremony to her bedside etc... nothing that would affect them in any way. Lots of lip service to Cathy but no action. 

[Shopgirl406]

I don't understand why they didn't go to Derrick's mother and let her know first.  Then, throw the big TLC party.  It's not like Cathy is going to blab to every news outlet.  She has more important things to do, like you know, fight for her life.  I"m happy for Derrick and Jill, but hope Cathy doesn't always get seconds.

[alegtostandon]

Does Jill know any other word besides 'Totally'?  I was so sick of hearing that last night, she says it out of habit.  There was one point where Derrick was talking, I think it was when they were making breakfast, and he had started a sentence, before he even finished his thought, she interjects with 'Totally'. 

 

I, too, thought it was such a waste to go buy all of the supplies for both sexes before the ultra sound.  Same with the flowers for Mom Dillard. Why not wait til you get the text, then go down to the gift shop & buy the appropriate color.  By doing it the way they did it added more drama, I guess.

 

I do not see any reason why Derrick & Jill could not have gone to Idaho to visit his mom themselves. Jill was not having any issues w/her pregnancy to keep her from flying a couple of hours. 

 

I wonder how Derrick feels about having to drag those 3 kids with them to the ultra sound.  There was another woman sitting next to the 3 kids during the ultra sound. Not sure who she was. Does that oldest 'Buddy Team Member' drive?  Are they a 'buddy team' for the rest of their lives?  They commented on how Derrick is now on their 'buddy team' and the new baby will be also. 

[Spencer Hastings]

Ugh, I hate it when I understand things about the Duggars that others don't. Am I fluent in Duggar relations? Can I put it on my résumé?

I TOTALLY understand why Jill took her buddy team. The long and short of it is simply the fact that those are her kids. Not only are they her kids, they're probably her best friends and the three people in the world that she is closest to. I think it's rather sweet that she continues to include her in the big moments. I have my own sibling buddies and my guess is that Jill is trying to let them see that she isn't going to forget them now that she's married. I can already see Jessa tossing Jinger and her buddies aside for marriage, so I think it is incredibly sweet that she's included hers. Most people wouldn't have looked back once they tasted freedom, but I suspect that Jill missed them as much as they miss her. We all know that those girls raise their buddies, but I'm glad Jill's team owns up to the fact. They basically said as much in their talking heads. James and Jenny don't look amused at the thought of adding a baby to their team though!

I also thought that sending Dan to Cathy wasn't all that bad. Yes, sending Derick and Jill would have TOTALLY been better. It sucks that she's always second fiddle. But it's nice that at least one of her sons got to tell her in person and spend some time with her. She probably doesn't get a ton of people time in isolation like that. I would say that maybe they didn't want to overwhelm her because she didn't look all that energized, but they sent a stinking camera crew. Sucks that they didn't tell her themselves, but glad that Dan got to be involved and see his mom. I'm sure that they talked about what a screwed up mess Derick has gotten himself into as soon as the cameras left. I hope that they've started including her and spending more time together now that she's in remission and don't have to worry so much about getting to her. She deserves grand baby time.

Edited April 8, 2015 by Spencer Hastings

[3girlsforus]

I have to say one thing that impressed me... they were able to come up with two names when they didn't have to. I swear that was the absolute worst part for us about having babies. We didn't find out the gender with the first two and it was murder trying to come up with two different names.  We were still discussing a boy's name when I was in labor. We never did settle on one we both liked. Good thing we had girls. By the third we found out her gender with u/s. The best part of that was knowing I only had to come up with one name. Jill and Derick managed two names even knowing they wouldn't have to. 

Edited April 8, 2015 by 3girlsforus

[Mya Stone]

Watching Michelle purse her lips through this party with such obvious dislike was such a stark contrast to Cathy's genuine excitement and joy.

Michelle is such an ugly person, my god. Cathy, even in the face of illness and treatment, showed more grace and love than Michelle is capable of. Ugh.

[xls]

I don't understand why they didn't go to Derrick's mother and let her know first.  Then, throw the big TLC party.  It's not like Cathy is going to blab to every news outlet.  She has more important things to do, like you know, fight for her life.  I"m happy for Derrick and Jill, but hope Cathy doesn't always get seconds.

It was more important to be there to play that stupid pineda game.  

[kellylovessnark]

Well they can save the pink candy and balloons for whoever has a girl next ;)

They can use it for Josh and Anna. M4 is a girl I believe.

[Temperance]

Maybe I am just imagining it, but I giggle every time I think I sense Michelle struggling to conceal her discomfort with not being the center of attention since she is not the one about to pop out a baby.  I caught a glimpse of her doing it again tonight as the camera panned across the room at the gender reveal party ... there was poor Michelle off in the background looking uncomfortable while mother-to-be Jill was the focus.  Poor ol' Michelle just looked lost, lol.  I think it's killing her that she is not the one everyone is showering attention upon.  The best was when Jill and Derrick popped in on the Bible meeting at the Duggar house to announce the pregnancy and Michelle barely managed to white-knuckle her way through the scene. She knew what was coming and she was doing everything she could to looked pleased when I think she was actually closer to stunned.  Of course I don't doubt that she is happy for her daughter and will love her new grandchild, but I think there is something about the fact that one of her own daughters has finally wrestled the birthing torch from her grasp that bothers her. A  lot.  

 

Has anyone else noticed that premature little Josie seems much smarter and verbal than some of her older siblings?  Tonight I noticed a talking head where one of her older sisters was parroting what Josie was saying instead of the other way around.  Lil' Josie might have got off to a rocky start but she may turn out to be the brightest of the bunch (not to damn her with faint praise, lol ... you know what I mean).

Some people who have big families in my experience are people who are socially awkward and try to create a group for them to hang out in. Also Michelle seems like she's still in withdrawl from not being pregnant and having babies. Usually in a big family gathering she probably held the baby and/or took care of the littlest role. With Josie growing up, she has no one to tend to and is losing her place.

 

I don't think Josie seems smarter and more verbal than most of her siblings. However I noticed when she sits next to Jordyn, she does seem smarter and more verbal. Jordyn is number 18 and less than a year older than Josie and sometimes when they sit together she seems less verbal and not where she should be for almost (and now) six years old. Part of the problem is that Josie talks over her and interrupts her and Josie got all of that one on one attention while Jordyn was shuffled into the group. Also Jessa I believe is her buddy. All of that leaves Jordyn with less attention and less people talking to her specifically. Both Jordyn and Josie seem to suffer from youngest children of the big family, that's known for their babies. I think the family would feel lost without the littles to take of, and therefore they're in no hurry to make them grow up.

 

I think in previous episodes Jennifer (the next Duggar child up, #17) seemed miles beyond Josie & Jordyn. Of course seven is a milestone in childhood development. Also some of Josie's siblings may have more complex emotions which make it difficult for them to articulate their feelings. (Especially if they're told they're happy all the time.) People noted Joy and Jennifer seemed wistful, it may be seeing their "mom" Jill move on that may have an impact their verbal skills. 

Edited April 8, 2015 by Temperance

[Wellfleet]

In response to why Derick and Jill didn't go to Nebraska to deliver the news and then tell the Duggars via Skype or with a gender reveal party a few days later OR why didn't Derick just go with Dan and bring flowers and/or the news himself even if Jill wasn't up to traveling -- isn't it the usual reason in that family? That's not what Jill wanted and the Duggar clan is more important. Hence -- whatever method they chose had to make the Duggars the primary party receiving news and Cathy/Dan secondary. Since Derick has become a Duggar, this worked perfectly.

 

Agree completely. Derick didn't go along with his brother to Omaha, or wherever Cathy is being treated, because Jilly Muffin couldn't or didn't want to travel, and more importantly didn't want him to go without her. There were tons of Duggars that could stayed with her while he was away. Or here's an idea - she could just grow the hell up and learn to be alone for a while. She might actually find herself liking it. I don't care if she's not accustomed to being by herself - she can GET used to it. Doing things you know are right even though you don't want to do them - well, that's part of being a mature, rational adult. She's just too needy and clingy - and I'm not sure whether this is deliberate on her part or just her nature. But she knows it gets her what she wants, which is Derick by her side at all times. It's SO clear who wears the [proverbial] pants in this family.

Edited April 8, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Ripley68]

Have to admit that Cathy's reaction had me tear up.  I love those kind of things.  I don't mind that Dan went.  She wanted to know that day, just like everyone else Derrick and Jill couldn't get there the same day, but Dan could.  Good compromise to me. She was in Nebraska after all. Remember, this episode all took place in one day.

Edited April 8, 2015 by Ripley68

[graefin]

Or here's an idea - she could just grow the hell up and learn to be alone for a while. She might actually herself liking it. I don't care if she's not accustomed to being by herself - she can GET used to it. Doing things you know are right even though you don't want to do them - well, that's part of being a mature, rational adult. She's just too needy and clingy - and I'm not sure whether this is deliberate on her part or just her nature.

I think this might be a fundie thing rather than a Jill thing (although it could be that Jill is particularly needy). I've noticed that most married fundies share social media accounts with their spouses and most refer to their spouse as their best friend (as in "I married my best friend!"). They are incredibly immature for their age and say things like they find it sad/difficult to be away from their significant other during the 30 minutes or whatever it takes them to get dressed for their wedding (Jessa). I mean, really? You can't bear being apart for 30 minutes before you spend the rest of your lives together? Ben also accompanied Jessa on her speaking tour, saying something like, "I couldn't let her go alone." It's as if once they are married, they are one entity rather than also two individuals.

[Wellfleet]

The old adage has actually been true in my life. My brother distanced himself when he got married and even Mr. BitterApple sees his family less the longer we've been together. Derick leaning towards the Duggars just doesn't seem all that unusual to me.

 

It was exactly the opposite for me. We were involved much more regularly with my Dad's family. They celebrated birthdays and holidays whereas my Mom told me she never had a birthday party or present until she got married, and then it was from her new in-laws. My paternal grandfather visited at least once a week, usually Sat or Sun morning, and spent the whole day. He was always interested in whatever projects my very-handy Dad was up to around the house. And Grandpa was a master amateur gardener who helped my parents a great deal with the lawn, shrubs, flower & vegetable gardens, even tree-pruning etc. We saw my Mom's family quite a bit less - Summer picnics at our house [we lived on the southern shore of Lake Ontario], weddings, christenings, clambakes, later on graduations etc. But never birthdays, and rarely holidays. Dad's family were big "present-givers" and Mom's family hadn't had the $$ for much of that when she was growing up in the 30s and 40s. What's a little funny is that my sibs and I see my mother's family more now - cousins etc. Our grandparents, parents and almost all aunts and uncles have passed away on both sides.

[Wellfleet]

I think Michelle's interactions with *anyone* are phony. She really only cares about herself and seems incapable of feeling any genuine emotion. I think she was always this way, but lately it's either gotten worse or she's less adept at hiding it.

 

Also, I think it's quite a stretch to conclude that Derick and his mom aren't close based on what we've seen. There could be many reasons he didn't go visit her (finding it difficult to travel with your pregnant, emotionally needy wife attached to your hip could be one). Actually, I'd guess that he and his mom have a closer, more meaningful relationship than Jill does with her mom. But then that doesn't take much.

 

Agree - I also think it's quite a stretch to think the Dillards aren't just that close a family. From the episode where Derick was on his way to propose to Jill, mother and son seemed to be very comfortable together, know each other etc. Definitely more than Jill and Me-chelle click...

[GEML]

Let's face it - Cathy isn't providing them with a free or almost free house way above their current income or access to a stream of income that they wouldn't have access to if they were doing a show about breaking the news to her first. I get that people like her better (although given what I've heard from her post wedding I'm not so sure Derick was so Koolaid free as we all thought) but Jill and Derick work for the Duggar show. That's why they are breaking a piñata with the Duggars and aren't in Omaha. It's really not that complicated.

[drafan]

 

Has anyone else noticed that premature little Josie seems much smarter and verbal than some of her older siblings?  Tonight I noticed a talking head where one of her older sisters was parroting what Josie was saying instead of the other way around.  Lil' Josie might have got off to a rocky start but she may turn out to be the brightest of the bunch (not to damn her with faint praise, lol ... you know what I mean).

I've mentioned before that the sister who's one up from Josie copies everything Josie does, and says things the way Josie says them....she's smart enough to know that Josie gets all the attention and she figures that's how to get some. Pretty sad.

 

I think derickdillard is just super-awkward on camera, and since Jill is the "old pro" , he defers everything to her. Also: I noticed that his wedding ring is already too big for him after what??? nine months of marriage??  That's some stress right there. I'll give him a pass.

 

I'm sure the J-girls are at Hobby Lobby right now getting upteen million frames for all the new pics of the baby...to add to the billion of the D clan and the jill&derickdillard wedding already covering the walls of that huge place. Barf.

 

The "Jill" headband is so funny....reminds me of pre-schoolers acting out nursery rhymes....kept thinking derickdillard should have on a "Jack" hat and they coud be carrying a pail of water.

 

As for the name: not so bad....his nickname could be "Ray" or "Al" , if he ever gets out into the real world (just kidding).

Edited April 8, 2015 by drafan

[Temperance]

 I don't actually think they are that bad with Derrick's mom. I think they even tried to include even she has cancer.  They decided to tell all of their family members on the same day whether they were going to have a boy or a girl. They made sure Cathy was included and she got to spend time with one of her sons. Having experience with a sick family member,  I know that often there is nothing to do but rest. I'm sure if the doctors at the hospital thought Dan and the cameras were wearing her out they could kick them out. (I don't think Dan is necessarily lesser than his brother or that his mother thinks "Gee, Only Dan! I wanted Derrick".) 

 

As for the wedding and why it had to be that day or the gender reveal and it had to be that day, I think that's maybe a Dillard thing rather than Duggar thing. Rick Dillard died in his sleep unexpectedly. They were totally unprepared and left his remaining family especially Derrick with a mentality of "We could die at any moment: we must make the most of each day, because tomorrow we (himself or his mother or anyone he cares about) might not wake up."  As for why Jill and Derrick weren't there themselves that day, because they found out what they were having earlier that day at their midwife which is located in their home state. If Cathy is several states away, it might be hard to schedule both a visit to the midwife in their state and then get to the other state in time for hospital visiting hours. 

 

I am well aware and have experience with big families acting self-important. I also am not a Duggar fan much, I don't share many of their beliefs and plenty of times they annoy me, but this was not one of them.

[GEML]

I don't actually think they are that bad with Derrick's mom. I think they even tried to include even she has cancer. They decided to tell all of their family members on the same day whether they were going to have a boy or a girl. They made sure Cathy was included and she got to spend time with one of her sons. Having experience with a sick family member, I know that often there is nothing to do but rest. I'm sure if the doctors at the hospital thought Dan and the cameras were wearing her out they could kick them out. (I don't think Dan is necessarily lesser than his brother or that his mother thinks "Gee, Only Dan! I wanted Derrick".)

As for the wedding and why it had to be that day or the gender reveal and it had to be that day, I think that's maybe a Dillard thing rather than Duggar thing. Rick Dillard died in his sleep unexpectedly. They were totally unprepared and left his remaining family especially Derrick with a mentality of "We could die at any moment: we must make the most of each day, because tomorrow we (himself or his mother or anyone he cares about) might not wake up." As for why Jill and Derrick weren't there themselves that day, because they found out what they were having earlier that day at their midwife which is located in their home state. If Cathy is several states away, it might be hard to schedule both a visit to the midwife in their state and then get to the other state in time for hospital visiting hours.

I am well aware and have experience with big families acting self-important. I also am not a Duggar fan much, I don't share many of their beliefs and plenty of times they annoy me, but this was not one of them.

This is part of what I was getting at when I said their family dynamic seems very different from what I think of as typical family dynamics. But it's not so untypical from a family that has lost a parent unexpected very young. Or one where the mother is very much capable and known for taking care of herself and isn't used to being cared for.

And they have a right to their family dynamic, which seems to work for them.

[Wellfleet]

Let's face it - Cathy isn't providing them with a free or almost free house way above their current income or access to a stream of income that they wouldn't have access to if they were doing a show about breaking the news to her first. I get that people like her better (although given what I've heard from her post wedding I'm not so sure Derick was so Koolaid free as we all thought) but Jill and Derick work for the Duggar show. That's why they are breaking a piñata with the Duggars and aren't in Omaha. It's really not that complicated.

 

I don't think anyone's saying it's complicated. What it is - to me at least - is crappy.

[DangerousMinds]

I think Michelle's interactions with *anyone* are phony. She really only cares about herself and seems incapable of feeling any genuine emotion. I think she was always this way, but lately it's either gotten worse or she's less adept at hiding it.

 

Also, I think it's quite a stretch to conclude that Derick and his mom aren't close based on what we've seen. There could be many reasons he didn't go visit her (finding it difficult to travel with your pregnant, emotionally needy wife attached to your hip could be one). Actually, I'd guess that he and his mom have a closer, more meaningful relationship than Jill does with her mom. But then that doesn't take much.

Jill made a point of saying she was over her morning sickness and now felt great. They could have visited Cathy for a day together, or Jill would've been fine staying home.

[DangerousMinds]

I hope Dan and Cathy both got paid for this episode.

[EarlGreyTea]

I hope Dan and Cathy both got paid for this episode.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall after those cameras left. They seem perfectly nice during the episode toward the Duggars but I wonder if, deep down, they wish Derick had married someone else.

[Cherrio]

I would feel lucky I wasn't at that party. The food they served was gross.  Let's just peel the wrapper on a bunch of Chips Ahoy's and dump the pickles in a bucket.

[GEML]

I would feel lucky I wasn't at that party. The food they served was gross. Let's just peel the wrapper on a bunch of Chips Ahoy's and dump the pickles in a bucket.

Yeah, I did sort of laugh. We're always going on about TLC paid for this or that (falsely, I think) and if TLC paid for THAT party then the Duggars aren't pulling in what they used to ! ;)