S03.E11: Laura's Story

[Spooneroonie]

One thing I wonder about Dr. Now is when the 600 lb. patient comes in with 300 lb. relatives, why does he not say something to the 300 lb. relative about possible ending up at 600 lbs. if things aren't kept in check?  I know he is only seeing one patient, but I don't understand why he would ignore the (hate to say it) elephant in the room and not say anything to a future potential 600 lb. patient.

Maybe he does and we just don't see it. But it's more likely that he can't (or won't) because that relative technically isn't his patient. In my experience, physicians usually will not medically comment on folks that are not technically his/her patients for a whole host of reasons, namely opening themselves up to a lawsuit should things go haywire.

[notyrmomma]

But I am referring to the 600 lb people who DON'T push through the pain to eat and only eat the proper amounts for a gastric bypass patient post-surgery (think Amber). I know none of the people on the show have been shown to be specifically diagnosed as an addict, but if some of them are, what puzzles me is that they are able to take control of the addiction on their own without the kind of help that other sorts of addicts utilize. 

 

Just because someone is successful in losing weight doesn't mean the eating addiction is gone or they have suddenly gotten it under control.  They physically cannot take in enough calories to make them gain or maintain weight (this is why I am still baffled that some-well most on this stupid show- gain or don't lose weight the very first month when your stomach is still so swollen that not even liquids go down easy- anyone who has had either of the three bariatric surgeries know what I am talking about).  

 

I know personally that my eating addiction is still alive and well.  I still think about eating and actually attempt to eat bad stuff ALL THE TIME (and I am down 98 lbs in 6 months, starting from about 300).  My latest attempt to eat something bad was last  weekend when I had about four bites of Lo Mein...then immediately threw it all up in the sink (couldn't get to the bathroom in time), it ruined my evening because I felt sick for the rest of the night.  And remember, I had the same surgery as Laura, the vertical sleeve gastrectomy.  The addiction never leaves.  

 

By the way, there is a 12 step program for food addicts, its called Overeaters Anonymous.  I did OA back when I was a teenager as part of treatment for bulimia.  They use the "big blue book" just like they do for alcoholics anonymous, and instead of abstinence from alcohol, you have abstinence from sugar.  It's a good program, but it's not a miracle worker because an eating addiction is a lot more complex than a drug or alcohol problem.

[Guest dutronc]

Some of us have watched a show called Fat Doctor that actually plugged along the episode like everything was fine. Then all of a sudden, they show him having problems post surgery and an announcement is made that he never made it out of a coma he fell into and died. I couldn't believe they showed his episode and it was quite the shock on first viewing, but his mom did an interview at the end and stated that she allowed it because it showed her son being brave and trying to live the best life he could. Also, I guess he had given her permission ahead of time. Anyway, I'm thinking I could totally see TLC showing someone die and then ending the episode with their voiceover.

 

OK, in that context it makes sense. I figured that if she had done the voice over at the beginning, then she was probably okay because the VOs seem more like a summation of the journey the viewer is about to see. I haven't seen Fat Doctor, so I don't know how it was portrayed (sensational, not sensational, etc) but on the other hand, I don't know if it's the worst thing if TLC showed that she died, especially since they (or Discovery, anyway) have already shown four other people who died in related programs. This is a YMMV thing, but I didn't think it was so terrible that they had a church shot with dramatic music. It was a fairly dramatic turn for Laura--she'd had a serious scare and then dug deep and relied on spirituality, and it seemed like a classic turning point. 

[aliya]

I literally shrieked in pain when I saw her attempting to eat that PILE of what had to be 4 eggs right after her surgery (she was sharing with one of her nieces) and she put a big 'ole fork full in her mouth.  

 

I was surprised as well, but I guess I shouldn't be. On 'Fat Doctor,' the narrator always says, "After the surgery, X will never be able to eat the same way again,'  And yet, most of the people on this show just shovel the food in. I don't know how they manage to lose any weight.

 

I thought the mother was a cold fish; when they were eating at the restaurant, it was as if she didn't even want to look at her daughter.

 

The hair thing got me - I've always heard that people lose a lot of hair with this surgery, but haven't noticed it on others on the show. I couldn't tell if Laura was losing hair or just had some really bad hairstyles.

 

And yeah, when they showed the church, I thought she had died, too. 

 

Just to show that I'm not a horrible person, I thought it was pretty cute when Laura was walking in the hallway and the little neice asked her what she was doing. "Walking."  Walking in the hallway may not seem like a big thing, but it was better than anything Pauline and Penny did.

[Momof2boyz]

Did anyone notice the husband had what looked like a teardrop tattoo?

[Aw my lahgs]

What a breeze of fresh air, seeing someone who still takes pride in their appearance. Nail polish, hair dye, real shoes, jewelry, make up. Way to go! 

 

It was also great to see her positive thinking, finding strength in herself to go on and overcome her enabling family. I have high hope for her in the future.

 

Regarding the washing/nekkid scenes.... They are not my favorite but I think that the producers want to show the realness and rawness of being 600 lbs... I could do without but in some strange way it kind of shows the seriousness of it all... Like THIS is what you will look like if you don't stop stuffing your face..

Edited March 20, 2015 by Nutella

[auntjess]

 

•Pretending her niece/nephew were her children

Yes, I'm a doting aunt and great-aunt, but I can't imagine the kids calling me "mom." 

I too thought we were going to the church for her funeral.

[Muffyn]

I noticed that too! I am almost 2 years out from my surgery and I still max out at 1.5 scrambled eggs, or 1 egg + 1 egg white. I also saw that giant bowl of veggies and steak she had in front of her and was flabbergasted. That bowl would feed me for two days now and would have fed me for a week when I was six months post-sleeve. Hopefully she was planning to eat just a little bit and put the rest away for leftovers.

In multiple post surgery scenes we saw Laura not finish the food.  I think part of the adjustment is for her and others to understand how much she can now actually eat.  She had a few bites of the steak and vegetables, then said she was full.  She did the same with the eggs.  So, in her case, I don't know that she was continuing to stuff herself like some of the other people have.  

 

It was very choppy, that scene.    I came away from it thinking that her mother cut her off every time Laura tried to say what she wanted and needed to say.  It seemed the mother definitely did not want to talk about it at all.

The editing on that scene was really weird.  From the sound, we were left with the idea that she and her mother had some kind of healing moment.  But if you match what was said to the state of things on the table, not so much.  That is unless her mother routinely packs up her leftovers then puts them back on her plate and eats more.  

 

While I am glad it seemed to help her, I hated the therapist harping on how she had to forgive.  If it was about forgiving her mother for not knowing what was happening, that's one thing.  If it was about forgiving the pervert that molested her, it doesn't need to happen.  She could learn to move past it, process what happened, look at how it affected her life, etc., but she does not need to forgive.  

[Sile]

Did anyone notice the husband had what looked like a teardrop tattoo?

She also had three dots on her wrist.  I don't want to get into supposition or accusations, but will just say that it is also kind of a cultural thing.

[Micks Picks]

I also noticed the huge steak and veggies.  I could not eat that much.  I'm glad to hear from Peanutbuttercup and another poster who have had the surgery that they in fact could not eat that.  I'm the one without a weight problem but with the stomach and sml intestine problem who would have a few bites and simply not be able to swallow the next bite.  That's why I thought it must be similar to what bariatric patients must feel, yet obviously many don't, and we've seen some who have had multiple bariatric procedures.  I'm glad to know that it in fact is what they feel, that fullness, and that some people are forcing their way past the pain.  It takes me days to digest anything, and of course any other food has no where else to go than back out through the mouth.  I'm not into that so don't do it.  It just really bothers me that they force themselves through the pain even while they are still in the hospital.  Bizarre.

[non sequitur]

  The editing on that scene was really weird.  From the sound, we were left with the idea that she and her mother had some kind of healing moment.  But if you match what was said to the state of things on the table, not so much.  That is unless her mother routinely packs up her leftovers then puts them back on her plate and eats more.  

 

While I am glad it seemed to help her, I hated the therapist harping on how she had to forgive.  If it was about forgiving her mother for not knowing what was happening, that's one thing.  If it was about forgiving the pervert that molested her, it doesn't need to happen.  She could learn to move past it, process what happened, look at how it affected her life, etc., but she does not need to forgive.  

 

The scene with her mother didn't really explain a lot.  Her mother did appear cold.  I think the therapist was about Laura letting go of her anger and becoming more happy with her life.  Except there are many things that can't be forgiven and yes she shouldn't have to do that.

[Scorpiosunshine]

I can't be the only one who noticed this, which is TLC at its best which is exploitation and bullshit.

            Laura is at deaths door, the music gets dramatic then they cut to the church doors.    We are supposed to gasp and say, OMG she died!

             There are seconds of waiting for added dramatic effect, then cut to Laura alive and going to church.

Count me in for another that noticed it. I gasped for a moment thinking she didn't make it, then remembered I was watching TLC and relaxed, lol.

[notyrmomma]

She also had three dots on her wrist.  I don't want to get into supposition or accusations, but will just say that it is also kind of a cultural thing.

Please elaborate because I am curious on what the three dots mean (in general - not necessarily on Laura).  I think a teardrop tattoo generally means that one has killed someone or served time in prison.  Is that true?

[Maizie131]

I have a question to anyone:  In every episode in the "opening", they have a black screen with facts about morbid obesity.  One of them states that less than 5% are successful.  Do they mean AFTER gastric by-pass surgery or without it?  Am I just being blonde? 

[Guest dutronc]

Please elaborate because I am curious on what the three dots mean (in general - not necessarily on Laura).  I think a teardrop tattoo generally means that one has killed someone or served time in prison.  Is that true?

The teardrop has a lot of meanings--that you lost someone to gang life, you killed someone, you participated in a killing, were in jail for any unspecified reason. The three dots mean "my crazy life" or la vida loca, so gang stuff, but it's a really innocuous-looking tattoo to outsiders and easy to get, so I think it's been watered down a lot and people just get them because they think it looks hard or cool. I've never seen a non-Mexican American person with the dots (and I love tattoos, so I notice this sort of thing), however. My guess is that they were in the life for a while, but I don't know. I also see a lot of tender, innocent college students with large spiderweb tattoos on their elbows, so it could just be decorative, although the husband (Joe?) seemed to have enough to be convincing.

 

 

While I am glad it seemed to help her, I hated the therapist harping on how she had to forgive.  If it was about forgiving her mother for not knowing what was happening, that's one thing.  If it was about forgiving the pervert that molested her, it doesn't need to happen.  She could learn to move past it, process what happened, look at how it affected her life, etc., but she does not need to forgive.

I might have misheard, but I thought the therapist was trying to redirect her from forgiving the pervert and instead focusing on forgiving herself. I thought she said something like, "forgiveness isn't for everyone" and Laura was insisting on forgiveness, when the therapist was trying to steer her toward forgetting and moving and focusing on herself. 

Edited March 20, 2015 by dutronc

[aurora296]

One thing some of these episodes show me is that there is a lid for every pot and people of all shapes and sizes can find someone to love them. Laura was very fortunate she has a caring boyfriend who really seems to love her. I'm a single woman trying to lose  a few pounds and look my best physically before I can get back out into the dating scene. Whenever I feel like i may never find a good guy, this show reminds me I might be a great match for someone out there. 

[gunderda]

I kinda think TLC should show one where someone doesn't make it.  As it is now, even with the complications I think it appears as though it's an easy road. It shouldn't be a show where everyone turns out "fine" whether they lose the weight or not.  I think it should be shown at least once that it's a very serious surgery.

And maybe not an episode featured on one person that didn't make it, but maybe a show composed of different people who were on the show or shows like it and passed away from either issues with eating or issues with the surgery.

Edited March 20, 2015 by gunderda

[Peanutbuttercup]

I have a question to anyone:  In every episode in the "opening", they have a black screen with facts about morbid obesity.  One of them states that less than 5% are successful.  Do they mean AFTER gastric by-pass surgery or without it?  Am I just being blonde? 

The typical stats are that without weight loss surgery, only 5% of morbidly obese people can lose at least 60% of their excess weight and maintain that loss. With weight loss surgery, that number rises to about 60-70%. So either the graphic they display is misleading, or there are different statistics on the success of people who start out around 600 pounds -- it would not surprise me if they are much less likely to be successful than your typical weight loss surgery patient like me, who had "only" about 200 pounds to lose, not 450. If you are being blonde, so am I because that graphic confuses me too.

[charmed1]

This is completely shallow, but I just have to say Laura's mother keeps a friggin spotless home. I'm jealous. I guess I'm so used to the general filth of homes on TLC programs, that seeing how nice and neat the house was was a pleasant surprise.

[KarmaG]

*OK, the make up needed to be dialed back to 10, but hats off to her for trying.

 

Yes, so much this. She seemed like such a great person (and probably is) and I loved the dress she picked out but that make up. Someone needs to teach her how to apply/wear it properly and this is coming from someone who does NOT wear it at all! (Cant stand stuff on my face). She looked like a drag queen in the worst possible way and I know she's prettier than that, she looked beautiful in her earlier scenes (at her highest weight even).

My, the different body shapes we've seen. It's amazing how people could carry the same amt of weight & look so drastically different.

 

 

I had that thought too. She didn't look as heavy to me as some of the other ladies on the show previously but she was actually heavier.

[notyrmomma]

Yes, so much this. She seemed like such a great person (and probably is) and I loved the dress she picked out but that make up. Someone needs to teach her how to apply/wear it properly and this is coming from someone who does NOT wear it at all! (Cant stand stuff on my face). She looked like a drag queen in the worst possible way and I know she's prettier than that, she looked beautiful in her earlier scenes (at her highest weight even)

 

TLC needs to do a crossover show -maybe she can get on Love, Lust, or Run or Style by Jury (love those shows!).  Style by Jury had a plus-size woman on last night and she reminded me a little of Laura with the big makeup and tattoos.  They did a great job on this woman.

Edited March 21, 2015 by notyrmomma

[cynicat]

Regarding the washing/nekkid scenes.... They are not my favorite but I think that the producers want to show the realness and rawness of being 600 lbs... I could do without but in some strange way it kind of shows the seriousness of it all... Like THIS is what you will look like if you don't stop stuffing your face..

 

You said it better than I could.  It's not like they make 600lbs look like it's easy*, but there is nothing more real than seeing the sores and showing that someone has to heft their stomach over a the back of a chair in order to dry themselves.

 

*my first two edits before 'easy' were 'piece of cake', and 'a picnic', neither of which seemed appropriate.

 

With regards to the endocrine disorder suggestions (thyroid, hypoadrenocorticism, etc), adipose tissue is not benign and is in fact considered to be an endocrine organ because it secretes hormones. "White fat" has a strong impact on the whole endocrine axis.  I would be more inclined to believe the obesity is leading to the thyroid and adrenal glands being out of whack than the other way around.  Fix the obesity and the brain, thyroid, adrenal glands, ovaries and pancreas should follow.  

[cheatincheetos]

She seemed like such a great person (and probably is) and I loved the dress she picked out but that make up. Someone needs to teach her how to apply/wear it properly and this is coming from someone who does NOT wear it at all! (Cant stand stuff on my face). She looked like a drag queen in the worst possible way and I know she's prettier than that

Yeah, that much makeup was a 'no'.

http://blog.chron.com/tubular/files/2013/03/tumblr_mj5p3qkOs01qlvwnco1_400.gif

[ChristmasJones]

I wish they would add a segment to this show where they film every time the person eats in a 24-hour period of time, and then edit it together so we can see it (with time stamps on each segment).

 

I feel like that would be an interesting aspect and would help some of us get a better understanding of how the person got to be that size. For me, it would be more meaningful than the nude bath shots at the beginning of each episode.

 

I would also like to see a segment about their grocery bills/restaurant bills before/after surgery.

[Foxsparrow]

I'm curious about the grocery bills also. There was a time when I overrate and snacked all day and spent a lot on extra food, mostly sweets and fast foods. It can get expensive especially if you buy for friends and family.

[aurora296]

I also wonder about the husbands/ wives who are the enablers of these people. It doesn't seem like many of them have a job. I wonder if the obese person somehow gets disability benefits and their partner subconsciously enables them to keep the "free money' coming in. Just a thought. 

[Galloway Cave]

 

I wonder if the obese person somehow gets disability benefits and their partner subconsciously enables them to keep the "free money' coming in.

As discussed in the Pauline thread, not only does the obese person get disability (around $800 a month), the enabler can get an income from the state as the caretaker, in some cases around $1200-1500 per month.

[monagatuna]

Maybe I'm just terrible at budgeting, or these people live in really cheap places, but $1500-$2000 a month just doesn't seem like enough to live on. I mean, I've done it, and it was terrible. I had no car--got around by bike, even in the winter--no budget for new clothes, could barely pay my rent, etc. I had trouble buying food some weeks and would take home unsold food from work. Even if you have the enabler's "caretaker" income, it just seems like a really stingy way to live. I guess that may explain why some of them have trouble making it to the dentist or whatever.

[Aw my lahgs]

Maybe I'm just terrible at budgeting, or these people live in really cheap places, but $1500-$2000 a month just doesn't seem like enough to live on. I mean, I've done it, and it was terrible. I had no car--got around by bike, even in the winter--no budget for new clothes, could barely pay my rent, etc. I had trouble buying food some weeks and would take home unsold food from work. Even if you have the enabler's "caretaker" income, it just seems like a really stingy way to live. I guess that may explain why some of them have trouble making it to the dentist or whatever.

 

It all depends on where you live!

[Guest dutronc]

It depends on a lot of things--a roommate, any kind of health insurance, access to various resources, the good fortune of not getting into accidents or needing a dentist, no loans to pay. I've done it, too, and it was very stressful because everything needed to be perfectly lined up, no room for crises. No room for car repairs, a dead computer meant camping at the library, if you were lucky. Savings were razor thin. and anything saved went to righting some misfortune, ie. digging out of a hole rather than finding a better hole to crawl into. 

 

I don't think that's the case with Laura, but maybe for Dillon/Pauline and Penny/Edgar. And probably this one this week. 

Edited March 23, 2015 by dutronc

[DangerousMinds]

It's hard to live on. But many make even less in this country.

Edited March 23, 2015 by DangerousMinds

[monagatuna]

Oh, I know it's doable--but yea, the margin is razor-thin. One even small catastrophe and you're in a hole it'll take months to crawl out of. It just doesn't seem like a reason to purposefully not get better. People (not necessarily in this thread, but in general) like to assume that they somehow enjoy or prefer to be sitting around getting that sweet sweet government money, which just seems odd to me because it is literally just enough to not starve to death on.

[DangerousMinds]

I agree 100%.

[Tielsmomma]

Living on disability is hardly easy living. The majority who do NEED it to survive. The few who abuse it make the rest of us look like lazy moochers and that is a very painful thing to deal with. I'm sorry if people resent those of us who live with this. I would gladly trade lives!!!

[wrestlesflamingos]

The issue of disability insurance and benefits is off topic for this episode. If you'd like, feel free to create a thread about that issue and discuss it there. Lets stay closer to the episode story in these threads, please.

[3 is enough]

 

Did anyone notice that she had a lot of hair loss?  This is a symptom of a thyroid condition.  Of course, she has food addiction too, but this could contribute to weight gain.

Thyroid or PCOS?  That also causes hair loss and weight gain, and also facial hair growth.  Maybe the heavy-handed makeup was an effort to mask excess facial hair?  I didn't really notice any, but truth be told I was distracted by the poor woman's teeth.  

Kudos to the husband/boyfriend for cooking healthy meals for her.  He seems so much better than the others we have seen.

Hope she continues to make progress.

[purpleflowers]

Wow, after watching some of Laura's Supersized episode yesterday, I learned that she has suffered from many miscarriages, and a few of them were full-term pregnancies! It must have been devastating, and it puts in perspective the fact that she is so attached to her nieces. 

[KarmaG]

Wow, after watching some of Laura's Supersized episode yesterday, I learned that she has suffered from many miscarriages, and a few of them were full-term pregnancies! It must have been devastating, and it puts in perspective the fact that she is so attached to her nieces. 

 

Oh wow. Once again, more info that should have been in the original airing if they were going to air it at all. 

[Hero]

I wish they would quit with the supersized episodes and just put it all in the original episodes.

[Micks Picks]

I don't believe a good portion of what these people say.

[OoogleEyes]

Ahhhhh! The good old days of one hour episodes! How refreshing