Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[Sew Sumi]

I'd never heard of it until @heatherrrrz mentioned it (I didn't read closely enough to pay attention to the brand). Learn something new every day, including the latest MLM scam! 

Edited February 16, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[Arwen Evenstar]

At least some of the Fundies ine Duggar circles are working the MLM angle as opposed to grifting. I'd have more respect for Muffy if she was at least working a MLM.

[Sew Sumi]

43 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

At least some of the Fundies ine Duggar circles are working the MLM angle as opposed to grifting. I'd have more respect for Muffy if she was at least working a MLM.

I suggested as much on their thread. Yeah it's an MLM, and Jilly Muffin probably can't sell shit to save her life, but it would be SOMETHING to bring in extra cash. Again, begging the question: where is all of their TLC/People money? 

[RazzleberryPie]

$55 for a lipstick (kit)? How on earth do these people with lower incomes and a dozen kids justify paying $55 for lipstick? I guess being good stewards and modesty don't matter now?

[DangerousMinds]

On February 15, 2017 at 5:35 AM, MunichNark said:

Bobby wrote a really rather touching and authentic love not to Tori on Insta a while back. He called her a bombshell if I recall correctly. It was sweet, yet not terribly "keep your heart in one piece".

I am puzzled as to why guys seem to chase theres girls - are they really THAT chaseable? Pretty they are, but still, just a part of a cult and not really very intelligent or go ahead or anything. The mind boggles.

Is Tabitha Paine still going to marry her rapist?

Why would such a love note be made public??

[BitterApple]

39 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Why would such a love note be made public??

I think because it's an important part of a Fundie girl's life to make all the pitiable spinsters in the cult feel like crap. 

[awaken]

3 hours ago, RazzleberryPie said:

$55 for a lipstick (kit)? How on earth do these people with lower incomes and a dozen kids justify paying $55 for lipstick? I guess being good stewards and modesty don't matter now?

That's what I was wondering!  That's a LOT for lipstick when you're living on one income with a passel of kids. 

[MunichNark]

Why do they fall for these scams? If you want a job, go and get some qualifications and employ yourself gainfully, or, alternatively, get a real job, like cleaning or Burger flipping or whatever.

[BitterApple]

8 hours ago, MunichNark said:

Why do they fall for these scams? If you want a job, go and get some qualifications and employ yourself gainfully, or, alternatively, get a real job, like cleaning or Burger flipping or whatever.

I think it's because MLM's are slick at tapping into the psychology of gullible people. If you're ever forced to sit through a presentation, they'll convince you all you need to do is set up your network and you'll be the next Warren Buffet. "Easy money for little effort" is a very clever marketing hook, especially if you're targeting SAHM's whose mobility and time may be limited due to family responsibilities. 

[MunichNark]

Aye, true enough. I'm kind of stalking a friend of a friend who has gotten deep into that clean9 shite. It's fascinating to see how deep people are willing to go there. And that person is not a silly uneducated fundie either. I hate the rip off of it though, and in this case, the blatant lies that it's healthy and the other products are high quality. They aren't.

[Barb23]

16 hours ago, RazzleberryPie said:

$55 for a lipstick (kit)? How on earth do these people with lower incomes and a dozen kids justify paying $55 for lipstick? I guess being good stewards and modesty don't matter now?

I don't think the headships would approve of the color of the lipsticks.  I can't picture wearing hooker red lipstick with a frumpy floor sweeping denim skirt. (She did say other colors were available, hopefully more neutrals.)

[sheshark]

Sierra must be making some money as she just had her hair cut and baylayaged!  Easily $140, but I guess she is a celebrity so gratis.

[Zahdii]

On ‎2‎/‎15‎/‎2017 at 2:35 AM, MunichNark said:

Is Tabitha Paine still going to marry her rapist?

It depends on what you mean.  Tabitha wasn't raped by her fiance (Tim Robertson).  He anally raped his passed out roommate after the roommate's boyfriend left the house for a short time.  Either he liked the idea of anal sex and took advantage of the situation, or he couldn't turn her over to get in the more common way, or he was just trying to get it done before the boyfriend showed back up.  Take your pick.  But boyfried did return in time to catch Tim Robertson in the act and Tim Robertson plead guilty to avoid actually going to jail.  But don't worry, the woman he raped worked in a strip club and Satan had a hold over Tim Robertson, and now he claims to be all better now because of Jesus.

If you mean that Tabitha is going to marry her fiancé, who is a rapist, then yes, as far as anyone can tell she's going through with the wedding.  On April 1st. 

Her Godly brother introduced her to Tim Robertson, and her Godly father approved of the match, and Tim Robertson has a really good 'testimony' that not only explains how he was forced by Satan into committing the crime, but that he was actually seduced by the woman (who worked in a strip club).  And her boyfriend was equally as bad because they all did drugs and drank the Devil's Brew. 

The woman he raped and her boyfriend should have been considered by him as lost souls that were also under the influence of Satan and lied about what happened, but somehow their crimes are worse than Timmy Boy's.  He can prove that because somehow he got off the sex offenders list.  He has shown no interest in finding out what happened to his former roommates since then.  He's made no public apology, no sign of trying to help them off Satan's Path and onto a Better Life.  He has blamed them, but cushioned it by saying they were Satan's minions.  In his mind they aren't worth thinking about anymore.  Timmy has left them behind and has found his way to a religion that absolves him of all past sins without real regret or restitution.

Here's hoping that Satan doesn't get hold of Tim Robertson again some night and Tabitha doesn't wake up quickly enough to joyfully submit.

[Absolom]

15 minutes ago, Zahdii said:

Her Godly brother introduced her to Tim Robertson,

This part is many people's assumption.  Most of the rest of the story, Tim himself told on Facebook. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

I'm sad for Tabitha if she believes this guy is the way out of her tragic, pathetic spinsterhood.  I say tragic and pathetic spinsterhood, not because she's still unmarried, but because she's still stuck at home, not allowed to have any freedom or a place of her own, still at the mercy of male relatives who guard her purity and decide whom she gets o date/marry.

Most 30 year old unmarried girls, are unmarried by choice, not because of circumstances. Most lead fulfilling lives with exciting careers, have their own apartment or home, get to travel on their own, go out with whomever they choose, and don't need a man to feel fulfilled.

At least if she marries, she will enjoy some status among the Fundy folk as a married woman, and finally get to live away from home. I really hope that Backdoor Buster Timmy learned his lesson and has truly reformed his ways. 

He would have more cred if he had said even though he was under the influence of alcohol or drugs or was being a creep because he felt he had a right to "take one more slice from an already cut cake"...and that such behavior is NEVER right and he deeply regrets the hurt and pain he caused others...

Yes God/Jesus forgives, but true repentance and humility and "making things right" and/or making restitution to the wronged are also required. Priests only grant absolution to the contrite and the remorseful follow d by what Jesus said to the woman who committed adultery who was spared stoning: 'You are forgiven, now go and sin no more'.

His being smug about his forgiveness really makes me puke. There are people rotting in jail for doing far less than he did. It's clear from his misogynistic screeds, such as the one against the ladies in his Bible study group for daring to have an opinion, that he's not learned anything about respecting women. Now, he gets "rewarded" with a virgin from a Fundy royal family...what da fuck?

[Sew Sumi]

I'm surprised they have co-ed bible study groups. Typically, in fundieland, other than family bible time with the kids, adult-only groups are segregated. Hell, Derick talked about this when he once attempted to explain what they do in DA. He's with the men. Jill is with the women and children. Not sure what age the boys graduate to "man" status and are allowed to study with the grown-ups, but the kids I saw Jill with weren't much older than maybe 7 or 8. I never saw her with teens of either sex. 

Edited February 17, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[Arwen Evenstar]

4 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I'm surprised they have co-ed bible study groups. Typically, in fundieland, other than family bible time with the kids, adult-only groups are segregated. Hell, Derick talked about this when he once attempted to explain what they do in DA. He's with the men. Jill is with the women and children. Not sure what age the boys graduate to "man" status and are allowed to study with the grown-ups, but the kids I saw Jill with weren't much older than maybe 7 or 8. I never saw her with teens of either sex. 

Oh, the Bible studies where she has another lady who actually speaks Spanish and then Jill hears real stories about real women with real problems?    Aaaaaaand..... we all know how skilled Muffy is about dealing with first world problems...

[RazzleberryPie]

Co-Ed MARRIED bible studies are pretty common now with the under 30s. How else can you gloat over the singles that God has provide for you, but not them? Because marrieds special and loved, and you're a single loser. You can't be in our special club without a spouse, sorrynotsorry! But we'll pray for you before we start bragging again. 

Best part is when they start having kids, getting out of shape, and insecure, and start attacking the immodest, sinful singles for not moving with them to Frumptown. I give Jessa one more baby before she turns total Michelle and does this. 

In my 20s, I knew I wasn't ready to be married but felt so pressured and outcast by this kind of people, I actually left a church I really liked. Ten years later and now married, we refuse to be a part of those type of groups that are downright mean to anyone not exactly like Jessa, Jill or Sierra.

My advice to Tabitha is get out on your own for five minutes. Pop the church bubble where you are tormented and antagonized for not being (miserably) married with five kids before you're 30. This guy does not sound like he truly has realized what he did and is sorry. He's sorry he got caught and his life was disrupted. By a drunk stripper. Have to include that. You can do better, Tabs. With someone else or on your own, you just need out of the cult to think straight. 

[Libby96]

So Tabitha is getting married on April Fools' Day?  I'm sure the irony is lost on that set.

[Arwen Evenstar]

15 minutes ago, Libby96 said:

So Tabitha is getting married on April Fools' Day?  I'm sure the irony is lost on that set.

I noticed the irony, but these Fundy folk decry any superstition. I think they are among the ilk that have "pot providence" instead of "pot luck" suppers.

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, Libby96 said:

So Tabitha is getting married on April Fools' Day?  I'm sure the irony is lost on that set.

Nice! I didn't even realize that.

[Fuzzysox]

On 2/20/2017 at 2:16 PM, Libby96 said:

So Tabitha is getting married on April Fools' Day?  I'm sure the irony is lost on that set.

My heart hurts for her.

[Sew Sumi]

On a more pleasant note, it appears that the baby goats appearing in the Bateses' social media belong to Chad and Erin. My question is this: They are in a small two bedroom cottage. One more kid and they will have to upgrade. What happens to the goats then? Because we know Erin will be pregnant again before summer. 

I wish this was a signal that they were stopping at two, but they are their parents' children, and as we've discussed, shedding any cult mentality is very difficult and painful. Other than denouncing Gothard himself, I don't see that Chad and Erin have strayed off the reservation much, if at all. 

[Micks Picks]

If they named them, it will be hard to eat them.

[BitterApple]

Erin and Chad must have a hell of a lot more patience than I do, because caring for a toddler, infant, puppy and baby goats would send me over the edge. I guess it must be normal for people who grow up in rural areas, but adding unnecessary creatures to the workload wouldn't be my thing. Carson is adorable though.

Edited February 25, 2017 by BitterApple

[GeeGolly]

2 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Erin and Chad must have a hell of a lot more patience than I do, because caring for a toddler, infant, puppy and baby goats would send me over the edge. I guess it must be normal for people who grow up in rural areas, but adding unnecessary creatures to the workload wouldn't be my thing. Carson is adorable though.

If they care for animals the way the Duggars do it won't be a big deal. None of the Duggar cats or dogs have lived indoors.

[lookeyloo]

Cute picture and I agree that those animals roam the property so to speak.  And then when the dog becomes bigger and jumps up on people and is dirty/wet, etc. they will find it annoying and either get rid of it or tie it up or yell at it.  It will be starved for attention.  The two children are pretty but, to me, they look so - for lack of better word - unsubstantial.  Tiny, frail, etc.  Bradley and Allie Jane look, well, substantial.  Erin and Chad aren't tiny wispy people.

[Churchhoney]

On 2/16/2017 at 4:39 PM, Sew Sumi said:

Sierra has joined JRod in the world of MLMing. I guess this (and illegal baked goods in mason jars in Sierra's case) are now acceptable money-making ventures for SAHMs who don't have Duggar cash. 

I'm sorry. $55????  How many levels does this MLM have, anyway? $55 provides for a heck of a lot of skimming off the top. And who is dumb enough to buy this? 

[Absolom]

Isn't the dog fully grown by now?  He's well over a year old isn't he?  He has looked fully grown in the last photos of him.  I'm thinking that Erin and Chad know what they're doing in adding animals and it's what they want to do.  It wouldn't be my choice, but they both seem to have quite a bit of energy and to be able to plan and organize things.

[BitterApple]

3 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

The two children are pretty but, to me, they look so - for lack of better word - unsubstantial.  Tiny, frail, etc.  Bradley and Allie Jane look, well, substantial.  Erin and Chad aren't tiny wispy people.

I know what you mean, they definitely don't have that chubby-cheeked robustness you see with Spurgeon, Kaci and Bradley. Both Erin's kids are mini-Chad's, so I wonder if the babies on his side of the family run thin and frail until they get older and fill out a bit.

Regarding the LipSense, I just Googled their swatches and I find the colors garish. I wouldn't pay $10 for them let alone $55.

Edited February 25, 2017 by BitterApple

[cereality]

So I had heard rumblings here re Tabitha Paine but had no clue so I looked it up. OMG!! She is SO desperate to get married and her family is so desperate to marry her off, that she is going to marry someone 15 YEARS older who admitted that he raped someone?? And he was like 25-26 when he raped her, not a 14 yr old who didn't know better.  And why does it matter whether he was convicted or not, on the registry or not -- he put his d!ck into someone who did not want it there. How is that "forgivable"?

How the heck did he find Tabitha? What I don't get about these fundie families (so many things . . . ) the women are helpless and brainless and need the men in their lives to protect them. So the oh so wise Daddy Dr. Paine and perfect big bro Chad are ok with this?? And I'm sure they've had a perfectly chaste and polite courtship with a 12 yr old following them for supervision, but has Tabitha been "allowed" to consider sex? Sorry but -- what if he likes it rough or hit it up the back side -- will she just be forced to deal?

So I guess it's confirmed, the Paines are on the list of nutcase fundie families. I know everyone LOVES Chad -- I mean he's perfect looking, employed, will do housework, and can do anything from carpentry to plumbing with a smile on his face. Yet something about him just never seemed right to me. Don't know what. I guess I've just noticed how "formal" his and Erin's relationship is, and that strikes me as odd. They've been married for 3+ yrs, he gets it on with her, he has watched her spread her legs and give birth -- and yet it seems like they still only feel they can be sugary sweet to each other as if they just met last month. There were interviews where producers were asking him about his plans for his furniture business and he was saying the usual BS about the Lord's will and how Erin makes it possible -- and she literally took a slight tone with him and said -- just be honest, you're so modest. That's when it occurred to me that is literally the first time we have EVER seen her take any kind of tone or act the slightest bit like a normal 25 yr old with him. And this is a woman who comes from a LOUD family and who is VERY casual and dramatic around her sisters, dad etc. -- she is not the reserved type like Michaela. Do they not interact that way bc Chad won't stand for it or she dare not piss off the prince? Huge contrast to Zach and Whit -- who act NORMAL. There have been SO many times where Whit has called him out and he has NO trouble giving it back to her. She had no problem saying he called her crying nightly from the police academy - as he laughed and said - hey I was trying to look tough . . . . There's been times where he jokingly bragged that he's the best at all tasks or that when he was on stage with Lawson his wife couldn't even hear Lawson sing bc she was so taken by HER MAN -- as Whit laughed and told him -- get real . . . you know, like a normal 20-something who is tight with her husband and not scared of him. I think there's something different with Chad and the Paine family . . . .

[BitterApple]

36 minutes ago, cereality said:

Sorry but -- what if he likes it rough or hit it up the back side -- will she just be forced to deal?

Did you read the criminal complaint against Tim? He's most definitely into backdoor sex.

I think all the Fundie couples are weirdly formal. They co-habitate, have sex and birth babies but they interact with one another like two people on a blind date. The only ones who behave organically are Zach and Whit, and perhaps Josh and Anna when they were in happier times.

[cereality]

I think a formal relationship is fine when that's how the people are for real. Like Michaela and Brandon -- I think they are both reserved, quiet people. So of course their relationship with each other is also reserved and quiet. But Erin wasn't like that. She was loud - not as loud as Tori and Carlin - but no where near as reserved as Michael. A day or 2 before the wedding she had a crying hissy fit about how much she'd miss her sisters and when Gil said, you'll be down the road and can come over and stay overnight anytime you want -- and she continued the teary drama of how it wouldn't be the same; which Gil then made fun of (nicely) and re-enacted for all to see. And she wasn't upset at the slightest - it's who she is/was with her family. And with Chad there is a sweet and polite, yes sir, no sir type of quality with her husband; very Stepford-ish. Maybe it's just bc 100% deference to the headship and adoring looks are expected in a fundie marriage -- but frankly she didn't grow up seeing that bc Kelly isn't like that with Gil; something about their interaction makes me feel like as lovey-dovey as Chad acts, he "demands" a certain deference and "respect" from her.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Isn't Tabitha's dad an OBGYN? I know he's a medical doctor of some kind, so I hope he's taken Timmy aside and told him he'd better not try any of that shit on his daughter, re rough sex or anal sex. Does she know what he did, or was it sanitized for her the way Joshley's nocturnal escapes were with Anna? 

Most of us heathens are down with "a bit of rough" now and again, and some heathens are down with anal (though it's no everyone's cup of tea), and as long as there is mutual consent, and no physical injury is caused and no one is humiliated, then such play is okay. 

 However, Gothardism frowns on  pretty much anything but missionary with the lights off. Even with a doctor for a father, will poor Tabitha still know nothing about what she can expect on her wedding night? 

Josh's alleged treatment of prostitutes, and Tim's anger towards women who disagree with him, plus his treatment of his victim at the time and the lack of respect he still has for her, speak to a deep pathology running through some of the men in this victim blaming cult. What if Tabitha decides to question him about the smallest thing she might want? Will he fly into a rage and assert his headship upon her?

I'm sad for Tabitha, that she must give this purity of hers and first kiss to a rapist who likes bufu?

[Barb23]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

Did you read the criminal complaint against Tim? He's most definitely into backdoor sex.

I think all the Fundie couples are weirdly formal. They co-habitate, have sex and birth babies but they interact with one another like two people on a blind date. The only ones who behave organically are Zach and Whit, and perhaps Josh and Anna when they were in happier times.

I've always wondered this about the Fundy couples --  Do they ever get comfortable enough with one another to joke around, make wisecracks, having inside jokes or playing "who would you do?" while waiting in a crowded airport, etc.  Ok, I know they would never play Who'd you do? but you know what I mean.  My 17 year old niece seems more comfortable with her boyfriend of 3 months than these married couples do.  Geez, I almost forgot that 3 months is the courting time for these folks.  Oh my! 

[MunichNark]

I have been wondering of why Chad seems to spend so much time doing up furniture. He has a job, when does he fit that in AND spend time with the family?

I find him too soft and soppy, despite his manly looks (cough), his voice is too girly and he always seems to be on the verge of tears far too easily.

Each to their own I suppose, Whitney did not grow up fundy, and Zach is the oldest of a large brood, I don't think this lends itself to being all high and mighty, unless you are Josh, of course.

I think Bradley's face is quite delicate. Zach's face used to be like that in his younger days as well. You can see the likeness.

[BitterApple]

4 hours ago, MunichNark said:

 

I find him too soft and soppy, despite his manly looks (cough), his voice is too girly and he always seems to be on the verge of tears far too easily.

 

I agree. I think Chad and Erin are well suited, but he's a tad too emo for my taste. If I was choosing a Bates guy to marry I'd go with Trace. He isn't the most handsome of the boys but he's got a nice combination of manliness and softer side. His relationship with Jeb is so sweet to watch.

[bigskygirl]

No offense, but Zach was calling his wife nightly while crying when he was in the Police Academy. I wonder what the other students felt about that. Makes me wonder what type of officer he is if he cannot hold his emotions in. I would love to see a psychiatrist come in and do a major study on these people. Now that would be some major quality entertainment!

[Arwen Evenstar]

53 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

would love to see a psychiatrist come in and do a major study on these people. Now that would be some major quality entertainment!

I think from a standpoint to validate our suspicions all along would give us some form of entertainment, but as we all know and would unanimously agree what's been done to these kids is far from entertaining.

The only entertainment value to be derived from this would be the blistering screed from the doctor to these horrible parents, telling them on national television how narcissistic, controlling, and how they have robbed all these kids of their agency, packed them in like cattle, and deprived them of an education. I fear most of all for the retribution awaiting these kids who divulged abuses, even if the doc kept all names confidential. Parents would remember who might have said what. No doubt, these "gifts" of houses are bribes to "keep mum". Should they spill the beans, they'd be left penniless and homeless in a heartbeat.

[cereality]

3 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I agree. I think Chad and Erin are well suited, but he's a tad too emo for my taste. If I was choosing a Bates guy to marry I'd go with Trace. He isn't the most handsome of the boys but he's got a nice combination of manliness and softer side. His relationship with Jeb is so sweet to watch.

OMG. I agree -- it has ALWAYS driven me nuts how Chad is teary about the slightest little thing. Like how proud he is of his wife for graduating or recording a son or teaching a piano lesson. Like how hurt he was watching her hurt re miscarriages (I'm not saying a husband wouldn't be hurt - but he'd hold it in when talking to a 3rd person about it months after the fact). For goodness sake - he was teary as hell before asking her to court - bc she had been dreaming of this for so long, he didn't want to mess it up or say the wrong thing. Same thing before the wedding - SO worried about making it perfect for her that he was crying. OMG - man up!

As for why he has time for furniture making - bc he's in a fundie marriage? He only works 40 hrs a week - and seems to be on some kind of rotating schedule bc he randomly gets weekdays off according to their IG. And while Erin will brag on IG about how he is a 50-50 partner and deserves a parade bc he stopped at the store and then helped clean the house when she was sick, or will put a kid to bed -- reality is, I don't think he's doing these things daily. We've seen more the one shot of him on the show coming home from work and a full dinner is on the table or Erin is still cooking so he goes out to the back porch and starts working on his furniture until Erin calls him in for dinner. I'm fairly sure she takes care of all the post dinner clean up, cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning etc. so he has plenty of time outside of his 40 hr work week to do whatever he pleases - i.e. furniture making. And on the off nights where he plays with kids or the dogs, he gets a parade thrown for him. It's good to be a fundie man.

[bigskygirl]

1 hour ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

I think from a standpoint to validate our suspicions all along would give us some form of entertainment, but as we all know and would unanimously agree what's been done to these kids is far from entertaining.

The only entertainment value to be derived from this would be the blistering screed from the doctor to these horrible parents, telling them on national television how narcissistic, controlling, and how they have robbed all these kids of their agency, packed them in like cattle, and deprived them of an education. I fear most of all for the retribution awaiting these kids who divulged abuses, even if the doc kept all names confidential. Parents would remember who might have said what. No doubt, these "gifts" of houses are bribes to "keep mum". Should they spill the beans, they'd be left penniless and homeless in a heartbeat.

I agree! I would not want to know the abuse and the other horror the kids have went through growing up. I would love to see each child get the help they desperately need, and to tell their parents to take a flying leap at a rolling donut. I do not care for the Bates and Duggars, but I still hope one of more of the children goes out into the world and have a decent life without the cameras and selling their lives for the almighty buck. Yes, the girls may dress differently, have less children, and some of boys may have different careers, but they still want to go along with the beliefs and standards set by their parents and think they are holier and better than the naughty heathens.

[cereality]

On ‎2‎/‎25‎/‎2017 at 11:35 AM, BitterApple said:

I know what you mean, they definitely don't have that chubby-cheeked robustness you see with Spurgeon, Kaci and Bradley. Both Erin's kids are mini-Chad's, so I wonder if the babies on his side of the family run thin and frail until they get older and fill out a bit.

Regarding the LipSense, I just Googled their swatches and I find the colors garish. I wouldn't pay $10 for them let alone $55.

Chad has at least 3 brothers who are incredibly thin -- 2 of them look young -- like pre-teens/young teens; though one is older - the preacher who is married. I also find Tabitha to be really skinny also. I don't imagine it's the food insecurity that lots of large fundie families face - bc dad is a doctor so I don't think they're hurting for money in the same way as other families that have been featured as Duggar "friends." So it might just be the body type/genetics at play.

[kalamac]

2 hours ago, cereality said:

OMG. I agree -- it has ALWAYS driven me nuts how Chad is teary about the slightest little thing. Like how proud he is of his wife for graduating or recording a son or teaching a piano lesson. Like how hurt he was watching her hurt re miscarriages (I'm not saying a husband wouldn't be hurt - but he'd hold it in when talking to a 3rd person about it months after the fact). For goodness sake - he was teary as hell before asking her to court - bc she had been dreaming of this for so long, he didn't want to mess it up or say the wrong thing. Same thing before the wedding - SO worried about making it perfect for her that he was crying. OMG - man up!

As for why he has time for furniture making - bc he's in a fundie marriage? He only works 40 hrs a week - and seems to be on some kind of rotating schedule bc he randomly gets weekdays off according to their IG. And while Erin will brag on IG about how he is a 50-50 partner and deserves a parade bc he stopped at the store and then helped clean the house when she was sick, or will put a kid to bed -- reality is, I don't think he's doing these things daily. We've seen more the one shot of him on the show coming home from work and a full dinner is on the table or Erin is still cooking so he goes out to the back porch and starts working on his furniture until Erin calls him in for dinner. I'm fairly sure she takes care of all the post dinner clean up, cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning etc. so he has plenty of time outside of his 40 hr work week to do whatever he pleases - i.e. furniture making. And on the off nights where he plays with kids or the dogs, he gets a parade thrown for him. It's good to be a fundie man.

Don't watch the Bates family, but as someone who hates the phrase 'man up' and the implications that only women should be emotional, I say good for Chad being comfortable enough to not only cry, but admit to crying, considering he was raised in a religion that promotes toxic masculinity. Some people are just emotional, and if it was Erin who was the crier we probably wouldn't even be questioning it.

[Guest]

http://www.limericki.com/

I've bought a bathing suit from this company before for last summer and they're amazing. They advertise modest bathing suits...not the contraptions that the Duggars wear. This is the true meaning of modest lol

[flyingdi]

I think there are several members of the Bates family that suffer from the "Look at me!  I'm a star!" vibe.  I will list the ones I can think of.

Gil, Whitney, Erin, Lawson, Nathan, Tori and Carlin.  There are probably a couple more I can't think of.

For some reason, at least to me, Whitney comes off as a snob and Erin comes off very phony.  You may have different opinions.

[GeeGolly]

Does anyone know the stats on Fundy families with marrying off their kids? The Bates have 1 son & 3 daughters married and a 4th daughter engaged. The Duggars have 1 son & 3 daughters married and a 4th daughter engaged. Is it typical for the daughters to marry first?

[BitterApple]

16 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Does anyone know the stats on Fundy families with marrying off their kids? The Bates have 1 son & 3 daughters married and a 4th daughter engaged. The Duggars have 1 son & 3 daughters married and a 4th daughter engaged. Is it typical for the daughters to marry first?

I'd imagine there's more pressure to marry off the girls first. The pickings get pretty slim for a woman over 25 in that crowd. 27 year-old Jana is single, 35 year-old Sarah Malley is still waiting for Prince Charming and 30 year-old Tabitha is about to marry a convicted sex offender. Since there's little opportunity for women to socialize and meet partners, they better find their soulmate at Big Sandy or else. 

[Nysha]

Even in normal society, it's more acceptable for there to be a large age difference only if the man is older. I'm sure in their world, it's even more pronounced, so there are more options for men than women, and less pressure to marry early before all the good ones are gone. Nobody in their crowd blinked an eye at 28-year-old Jeremy marrying 22-year-old Jinger, but I'm pretty sure if 27-year-old Jana were marrying 20-year-old Trace Bates, it would be a different story.

[lookeyloo]

3 hours ago, Nysha said:

Even in normal society, it's more acceptable for there to be a large age difference only if the man is older. I'm sure in their world, it's even more pronounced, so there are more options for men than women, and less pressure to marry early before all the good ones are gone. Nobody in their crowd blinked an eye at 28-year-old Jeremy marrying 22-year-old Jinger, but I'm pretty sure if 27-year-old Jana were marrying 20-year-old Trace Bates, it would be a different story.

I agree and also that there are exceptions.  I am 12 years older than Mr. lookeyloo.  He was in his mid 20s when we met.  It was 3 years before we got married.  It's going on 35 years.  It is possible, although not the norm.  His parents were none too thrilled, but I was "mature" enough to understand and gave them time to come around, and they did.  

[Jynnan tonnix]

I have a friend who married a guy from Croatia that she met online who is 30 years older than she is, You can imagine all the warnings and concern from everyone she knew! Now, time will tell, of course, but it's been about four years that they have been married (about 5 since they first met), and so far she seems blissfully happy. She had been married three times before this and always swore she would never do it again, but for whatever reason, right now they seem to be a really happy couple...