Michelle and JimBob aka J'Chelle and Boob

[Chai]

The thing with him going to the skating rink or the buffets is that he makes a big deal out of how he gets all this stuff for free. He is gleeful about it. This doesn't make the proprietor feel warm and fuzzy. It makes the management out to be fools, taken, suckers. And on TV yet, and an example to others with big families to hit them again. I'd be really angry and it would cause me to change my policy right away. Not because of the money primarily, but because of JB using me and laughing about it in front of a million people.

[GEML]

I also don't think they eat regular meals together, which can quickly get you out of a dishwashing cycle. If everyone is simply foraging, that means the kitchen would always have dishes piling up, instead of a meal where you cook, clean as you go, eat, clean up, it's done.

[Lemur]

The 20 acres of land excluding the structures is estimated at $40,000. Across the road is a public landfill, so it's probably not the most desirable addresses in town, but I'm not an expert on these things. 

 

Well, that tears it.  Jim Bob really is just a moralized version of Cletus from The Simpsons.

[Chai]

Yes and thats how I felt as a viwer of their tv show. I felt I was taken advantage of because I really thought they were very religious types that I could learn from. Then to find out the molestations scandal and I feel taken in by smarmy car dealership type salesman that I should've known better than to listen to.

[MrsMommy]

I can't really speak for the duggars but I can say that my husband has a very successful business doing construction. He has flipped 52 houses and has built 4 from the ground up all by himself, he has never went to school to do this, never had any training, he is not licensed in anything even though he does everything. My husband's parents were farmers his dad built a lot of stuff and what not. They raised their children the same way my husband is the carpenter, he has a farmer brother, a brother that welds for a living, and a sister that is a nurse. And they raise their children to pick up a trade as well, and now my children the oldest being 9 the youngest 5 are learning the carpenter trade. Jobs are becoming nothing these days and trade is needed and will always be needed. If the duggars are good at carpentry then awesome for them!! You don't need school to teach you that just a good figure to learn from

[bluebonnet]

It seems like your husband received pretty adequate training....certainly more than a single afternoon session.  

[MrsMommy]

It seems like your husband received pretty adequate training....certainly more than a single afternoon session.

Yes ma'am years of experience

[kokapetl]

Carpentry is a licensed trade though right? And licensed plumbers and electricians must've been involved in the construction of the houses built from scratch.

[Darknight]

What is the reason they use paper plates? Are they really cheaper than the cost of water and dish soap? I'm guessing they don't care at all about environmental issues, so it likely comes down to a money or convenience factor. I personally don't find paper plates convenient. For me, I assume the cost of upkeep for washable plates would be cheaper, but perhaps it's not. Anyone know?

They're too damn lazy to actually get and wash real dishes. You know anything with the word work in it the Duggars hate. I mean look at all that process food and all that land. They could grow fresh fruits and veggies but nope. That requires work.

[Happyfatchick]

They OWN dishes though: Jana used them for the "tea" party

[Darknight]

The thing with him going to the skating rink or the buffets is that he makes a big deal out of how he gets all this stuff for free. He is gleeful about it. This doesn't make the proprietor feel warm and fuzzy. It makes the management out to be fools, taken, suckers. And on TV yet, and an example to others with big families to hit them again. I'd be really angry and it would cause me to change my policy right away. Not because of the money primarily, but because of JB using me and laughing about it in front of a million people.

And i think this is why JimChelle glees about their 19kids. O look I have 19kids and we get freebies. They view them as trophies. They just need to stop expecting others especially business people to bend over backwards for them. You want to eat out, pay for it. You want to roller skate, pay. Don't expect it for free!

I also feel bad for these kids. Going out in public is a hassle. Look at the nyc trip. Imagine if one kid wanted a soda or an ice cream, they wouldn't be able to get it.

[truthtalk2014]

They OWN dishes though: Jana used them for the "tea" party

I'm sure this was meant as sarcasm. lol But that definitely was not the Duggar house.  

 

I'm still trying to figure out the beans and rice and even the salad.  That is just strange.  When I think of tea party, I think of this.

 

http://www.lovetea.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/bristol-table-2-768x1024.jpg

 

Perhaps they call anything that is eaten off a real dish a tea party.  

[dillpickles]

I'm sure this was meant as sarcasm. lol But that definitely was not the Duggar house.

I'm still trying to figure out the beans and rice and even the salad. That is just strange. When I think of tea party, I think of this.

http://www.lovetea.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/bristol-table-2-768x1024.jpg

Perhaps they call anything that is eaten off a real dish a tea party.

when you have 19 kids, you have to do some things a liiiiiitle differently.

[Happyfatchick]

I'm sure this was meant as sarcasm. lol But that definitely was not the Duggar house.   I'm still trying to figure out the beans and rice and even the salad.  That is just strange.  When I think of tea party, I think of this.

I guess I was aiming at "snarkasm". I was joking, yes, about them not using (what passes for in my house) dishes very often, so that was snark. But I honestly did not realize they weren't home in that photo. Where were they?

Secondly, I thought it just TOOOOO funny that it was a "tea party" with pinto beans and rice. I live in a rural area in a no-joke redneck breeding area, and even I get that this is not proper fare for "high tea". (High tea IS an "event", right? Guests should expect food for "high tea", is this correct?). But pinto beans? The Queen would be appalled.

"Let them eat cake!"

[Sew Sumi]

They OWN dishes though: Jana used them for the "tea" party

They OWN dishes though: Jana used them for the "tea" party

The "tea party" was not at the TTH. The Duggars don't have those type of chairs. I think it may have been at Jill's. 

[kokapetl]

And i think this is why JimChelle glees about their 19kids. O look I have 19kids and we get freebies. They view them as trophies. They just need to stop expecting others especially business people to bend over backwards for them. You want to eat out, pay for it. You want to roller skate, pay. Don't expect it for free!

I also feel bad for these kids. Going out in public is a hassle. Look at the nyc trip. Imagine if one kid wanted a soda or an ice cream, they wouldn't be able to get it.

I wonder if the reason we never saw them anywhere in Ireland but that farm was because to a lot of Irish people, no birth control and very large families isn't remarkable.

[Satchels of gold]

Just wanted to chime in as an LCSW , that therapist are mandated reporters so I'm sure the girls got no legitimate counseling until CPS got involved (well after the statute of limitations had run out). Better late then never but they really did make it sound as they got counseling for the girls immediately . Michelle is a mystery to me. I understand why JB bought into all this, hey it's good to be King, but why did she? Also the ridiculous pride over birthing 19 children. I think she believes most people are envious of that. Hell no, I spent my life trying to make sure that didn't happen. Ive never been pregnant and my only child is adopted so I just don't get it. Are pregnancy hormones that addicting? I also read that the Gothards discourage adoption as the sins of the father........ this morning I was telling my husband about the as he works very long hours and is blissfully ignorant of all things pop culture. His first question was how are they going to afford to send all those kids to college.....I laughed and laughed.

[JoanArc]

 

Better late then never but they really did make it sound as they got counseling for the girls immediately .

Yet they also made it sound like no big deal, which the girls all brushed off. Lies, lies, lies, and coached stories.

[GeeGolly]

"... this morning I was telling my husband about the as he works very long hours and is blissfully ignorant of all things pop culture. His first question was how are they going to afford to send all those kids to college.....I laughed and laughed."

Thank-you nc social worker ... I, too, just laughed & laughed!!

[Churchhoney]

I guess I was aiming at "snarkasm". I was joking, yes, about them not using (what passes for in my house) dishes very often, so that was snark. But I honestly did not realize they weren't home in that photo. Where were they?

Secondly, I thought it just TOOOOO funny that it was a "tea party" with pinto beans and rice. I live in a rural area in a no-joke redneck breeding area, and even I get that this is not proper fare for "high tea". (High tea IS an "event", right? Guests should expect food for "high tea", is this correct?). But pinto beans? The Queen would be appalled.

"Let them eat cake!"

 

Actually, that's just what non-Brits, and especially Americans apparently, think about "high tea." The tea with the dainty desserts and a cuppa is afternoon tea and was sometimes called "low tea" in the past, for some reason.

 

High tea has always been the English version of supper -- a sort of undistinguished, nourishing evening meal, meat and potatotes and veg and so on. So in truth rice and beans would be perfectly appropriate for "high tea." But not the fancy hats. Of course, given the fancy hats, the Duggars are clearly using the American definition of high tea. So the beans and rice become a WTF moment.

 

Edited because it's high tea, not thigh tea.

Edited June 16, 2015 by Churchhoney

[Happyfatchick]

And i think this is why JimChelle glees about their 19kids. O look I have 19kids and we get freebies. They view them as trophies. They just need to stop expecting others especially business people to bend over backwards for them. You want to eat out, pay for it. You want to roller skate, pay. Don't expect it for free!

I also feel bad for these kids. Going out in public is a hassle. Look at the nyc trip. Imagine if one kid wanted a soda or an ice cream, they wouldn't be able to get it.

THIS! EXACTLY!!! THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!! I remember when they were only 14 kids, I complained aloud that they were setting SUCH a horrible example of responsible childbearing. At the time, I didn't know anything ABOUT the family except they had a horde of kids. I griped and griped about them, how many people thought they were WONDERFUL (my own flesh and blood daughter included) for bringing as many blessings into the world as possible. How could they POSSIBLY feed, clothe, protect, educate and shelter that many children (disregarding braces or eye care!) without the help of others? I couldn't BELIEVE the message - that GOD was in charge of their conception plan (or so they portrayed). How could they afford diapers? Food? Cookies? Shoes? How do they even KNOW who has a fever, chills or nightmares? How do they KNOW who likes to be rocked? Who NEEDS shoes? OMG, that's not a FAMILY, THAT'S a group home! It's an institution. Without ever watching the show, I hated it. I hated the premise, I hated the portrayal.

I argued with my daughter time after time about how many children would she have - her husband notorious for not holding a job. "But MOM, if God blesses me with children, He will provide for them!" She had 4; would have eagerly had more. The family begged so much (because they seriously had no steady income) she finally (very reluctantly) had her tubes tied. I love all 4. If she'd listened to me, at least 2 of them wouldn't be here. Which ones would I have picked (not to abort, but to not have been conceived)? I don't know.

And God HAS provided for them. I've given them money, the other grandparents have given them money (even a car!). The dad provided a house for them. Nobody would let them go hungry. Multiple car repairs. Babysitting. Babysitting the DOG even. Trips, vacations, loads of junk at Christmas when their parents had ZERO dollars... Outfits for special occasions (because they have to look like someone cares)... They've never endured the hardships they owned rightfully - because God (WE) provided for them. we're enablers, yes, I know - somehow that wiggly little baby child changes everything.

imagine MY surprise, when I did finally start to research the Duggars (because of MORE weirdness from my daughter...) I found out the Duggars were GOTHARDITES and I had been involved with that myself when my daughter was a baby. I had NO IDEA that was what they were practicing. Gleefully, happily drinking the koolaide and skipping purposefully along the path...

(Sorry, this whole thing makes me a little nuts).

To return to the quoted post: YES, that's EXACTLY what happened with the Duggars. Advertisers (and the church?) likely gave them diapers, baby food, formula, underwear - whatever they needed - which encouraged them to procreate and PROCLAIM the glory of the Lord. Look how GOOD GOD IS!!!!! They truthfully had NO IDEA what the true cost was. It wasn't, obviously their JOB to keep tabs, it was THEIR job to take take take. (And praise Jesus).

A story: my son works in a place that gives employees good bonuses when they have a good year. Last year was exceptional, and the bonus was very nice. He took that money and did the following: rented 2 cabins on a Disney resort. Put all 4 of his sister's kids in 2 cars, along with his own 2 and a foreign exchange student. Paid for all the gas to Florida for those 2 cars. Paid for every morsel of food they ate. Bought tickets for FIVE DAYS at Disney, PLUS park hopper tickets. Ran his BUTT off (and his wife's, and mine and my hub's) for 5 days making sure those kids saw Every Single Attraction, Rode every ride, participated in every Disney show. Provided every single need they had for FIVE FULL DAYS. We cooked for them, cleaned them up, refereed them, cleaned up after them. The kids were GREAT and we had a RIP ROARING GOOD TIME!!! (I'm going somewhere, stick with me).

The night before we left, the kids went to my son's to spend the night to get a move on in the morning. The kids show up, and my DIL checks the suitcases (she's anal) to make sure they have everything they should. The youngest had a suitcase that was a torn backpack. A load of shorts handed down 3 times, NO SHOES that fit except sandals (and predictions of freezing temps at Disney). No long sleeves. A backpack full of yuck. No socks. Dingy underwear. The two older girls are old enough to complain - the littlest is 6 and very adaptable. The DIL get in her car at 11, drives to the nearest open store and BUYS the little bit clothing suitable for a trip. Brings it home, uses one of her own daughter's backpacks to repack.

The end is near, I promise.

My son and his wife spent A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY, took time out of their own schedules, planned every minute down to the nano-second, cooked meals, even bought a souvenir for each child (given a specific budget)... And when my daughter and her husband first heard about the trip, the FIRST thing they both said (hugging and jumping up and down): PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

And now I'm done. This stump is getting a little wobbly, I'll just get down and make my way to the prayer closet and pray the Jesus Prayer all by myself.

Side note: I gave my son a good little "offset" on his very, very generous gift. No way, NO WAY would those 4 kids ever seen the inside of Disney without her brother's heart. And y'all, please have a heart if you post after this. I loooooove my daughter, and I looooove my grands. No kidding, I really do, no matter WHICH koolaide choice they make.

Edited June 16, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Julia]

Also the ridiculous pride over birthing 19 children. I think she believes most people are envious of that. Hell no, I spent my life trying to make sure that didn't happen. Ive never been pregnant and my only child is adopted so I just don't get it.

 

We have her word for it that when she was actively raising those children and taking care of her household, she was in despair. Once her family started taking over for her, though, and she was left to pretty much gestate, pump and talk about her uterus on television so everyone could tell her how wonderful she is, why not? What else does it strike you that Michelle Duggar is capable of, and would someone who expected something else from her have ever married her?

 

Are pregnancy hormones that addicting?

No, it was not my experience that they were, although pregnancy did make my hair look nice.

Edited June 16, 2015 by Julia

[Chaos Theory]

I can't really speak for the duggars but I can say that my husband has a very successful business doing construction. He has flipped 52 houses and has built 4 from the ground up all by himself, he has never went to school to do this, never had any training, he is not licensed in anything even though he does everything. My husband's parents were farmers his dad built a lot of stuff and what not. They raised their children the same way my husband is the carpenter, he has a farmer brother, a brother that welds for a living, and a sister that is a nurse. And they raise their children to pick up a trade as well, and now my children the oldest being 9 the youngest 5 are learning the carpenter trade. Jobs are becoming nothing these days and trade is needed and will always be needed. If the duggars are good at carpentry then awesome for them!! You don't need school to teach you that just a good figure to learn from

My brother-in law is an electrician. Never went to college but that doesn't mean when he needs to know something about his job he doesn't open a book or google it. People are constantly learning in life regardless of job or trade. Something I heard once that makes me think of the Duggards: it doesnt matter what well of knowledge you drink out of as long as you drink.

I honestly don't think the Duggards have any knowledge at all. Ignorance is what they value. Their well has long run dry.

 

<----I have got to stop typing these things on my iPhone.  

Edited June 16, 2015 by Chaos Theory

[Satchels of gold]

Oh happfatchick, I feel ya. My sister and her husband have turned fundie and it's the same with them. They make all these terrible financial decesions and say "God will provide". God always turns out to be me and my 80 year old mother. I've paid her mortgage on many occasions, bought her clothes, taken them on vacation, and paid thousands of dollars in vet bills so her beloved dog could get surgery and not have to be put down. Never a thank you but lots of praise the Lord. I've made a promise to myself not to rescue her anymore but it's so hard. Thank God they don't have children.

[Wellfleet]

They're too damn lazy to actually get and wash real dishes. You know anything with the word work in it the Duggars hate. I mean look at all that process food and all that land. They could grow fresh fruits and veggies but nope. That requires work.

 

Completely agree. For Boob and Me-chelle, the eleventh Commandment is "Thou shalt be as lazy as possible..." And now that they have $$, they can afford to be quite lazy indeed.

[Micks Picks]

Actually since the fire I haven't had plates.  Now that I'm back home I expect the storage company will return that sort of thing, assuming it could be cleaned.  Ditto silverware.  I may be wrong.  Used paper plates for a year.  Not so bad, sturdy for the microwave and you can cut a steak on them.  I bought a super cheap set of cutlery, lost half of it already, and some cooking stuff from the dollar store (it melts).  Didn't want to spend the money when I may have the dishes, just not with me.  Then again, I may not.  They weren't on the total loss inventory so I assume they are in storage.  I refuse plastic cutlery, but the paper plates haven't been that bad.  It's just and the dog.

[MrsMommy]

Carpentry is a licensed trade though right? And licensed plumbers and electricians must've been involved in the construction of the houses built from scratch.

Yes some have license but my husband does everything plumbing, electric, drywall, literally everything and doesn't have a license. He does a lot of work for the local real estate office and no one has ever said he needs a license. But if he had to get one for some reason the price of his work would go up dramatically

[kokapetl]

Yes some have license but my husband does everything plumbing, electric, drywall, literally everything and doesn't have a license. He does a lot of work for the local real estate office and no one has ever said he needs a license. But if he had to get one for some reason the price of his work would go up dramatically

Does the local government/state allow unlicensed plumbers and electricians? Would you have a problem with your husband charging more?

[RazzleberryPie]

I can't really speak for the duggars but I can say that my husband has a very successful business doing construction. He has flipped 52 houses and has built 4 from the ground up all by himself, he has never went to school to do this, never had any training, he is not licensed in anything even though he does everything. My husband's parents were farmers his dad built a lot of stuff and what not. They raised their children the same way my husband is the carpenter, he has a farmer brother, a brother that welds for a living, and a sister that is a nurse. And they raise their children to pick up a trade as well, and now my children the oldest being 9 the youngest 5 are learning the carpenter trade. Jobs are becoming nothing these days and trade is needed and will always be needed. If the duggars are good at carpentry then awesome for them!! You don't need school to teach you that just a good figure to learn from

I don't think any of us are knocking skilled tradesmen. Carpenters, electricians, heavy equipment operators, plumbers,HVAC pros, painters, inspectors, etc. are excellent careers that provide valuable services. Where I live, legally, these trades have to have a licensed person in charge, or there are huge liability issues. I'm not even sure if a bank would lend a home mortgage to purchase new construction from an unlicensed contractor. Liability is just too much.

 

Here's my issue with the Duggars:

1) All those unsupervised, ill-mannered (they'll pick up anything and toss it aside as fast as they pick it up) Howlers and Lost Girls around power tools, construction materials, etc., is dangerous. 

2) Liability  - To disrupt their work with all those kids running around - is a liability nightmare. If someone gets hurt or if something is installed incorrectly and someone gets hurt later, I wouldn't want the liability on my business.

3) Jimbob is notoriously cheap and relishes in swindoling people out of money or making a 'deal'. By hiring someone to lay carpet and then tossing in a dozen unruly monkeys, then expecting the carpet layers to teach the kids how to do their job so they don't have to hire the carpet layers again, and then possibly setting up a competitive business with the kids is  taking business from the carpet layers. It is rude, obnoxious, and not very Christlike.

[MrsMommy]

Does the local government/state allow unlicensed plumbers and electricians? Would you have a problem with your husband charging more?

I'm not sure I've never really looked into it, I would say no ad he has worked for the local college and real estate and no one cared he didn't have a license, and I definitely wouldn't mind him charging more, he is to cheap as it is!! But he does a lot for the elderly who may not have the big bucks to spend so we try to help them out ya know?

I'm way off topic I'm sorry I'll go to prayer closet

[SoSueMe]

@Happyfatchick

Your son and his wife sound like wonderful people. I hope in time your daughter and her husband come to realize that they are sooo lucky to be in your family, with or without the "Lord's help".

[Micks Picks]

HFC I'm glad you know you enable.  At least it's for family  I've done it for other kids who come from lousy backgrounds.  If I see potential, I'm in.  It usually doesn't work tho.  I took a girl from Sacramento to LA Disneyland and Knotts Berry Farm etc and another year took her to Disney in Florida.  Also took her in Sacramento to many events, but she goes back to same unregulated crazy life.  No good parent, no structure, she does as she pleases.  She has potential but gets no direction at home.  I hope in future years she'll remember she actually saw families out enjoying themselves and that she met people from other countries and talked to them, and figure out that she needs to work to obtain these things.  Her mother never works, lives off her own mother, the kid's grandma, who is about ready to drop.  The mom is too lazy to apply for welfare but there are a whole of those kind of people out there.  I take it these are the kids who are going to central America.  I hate it when people do the Jesus will provide thing all the time  I wish everybody would let Jesus provide and see what would happen.  We believe in Jesus but my grandmother told me to always be able to provide for myself because you couldn't trust anybody else to do it.  You might pray that you were given the strength to get you through the day, but not the dollars.

[Sew Sumi]

HFC, you might want to remind your daughter and SIL that the Lord helps those who HELP THEMSELVES. 

 

And tell them that it's time they found ways to "provide" their own income stream. Or, pull a Michelle Duggar and tell them to 'LEAVE AND CLEAVE, BABY!" 

 

(but don't do as she did and provide enough lifeline for them to continue to cling to you like a barnacle - see Josh, Jill, Jessa)

[Satchels of gold]

HFC I'm glad you know you enable.  At least it's for family  I've done it for other kids who come from lousy backgrounds.  If I see potential, I'm in.  It usually doesn't work tho.  I took a girl from Sacramento to LA Disneyland and Knotts Berry Farm etc and another year took her to Disney in Florida.  Also took her in Sacramento to many events, but she goes back to same unregulated crazy life.  No good parent, no structure, she does as she pleases.  She has potential but gets no direction at home.  I hope in future years she'll remember she actually saw families out enjoying themselves and that she met people from other countries and talked to them, and figure out that she needs to work to obtain these things.  Her mother never works, lives off her own mother, the kid's grandma, who is about ready to drop.  The mom is too lazy to apply for welfare but there are a whole of those kind of people out there.  I take it these are the kids who are going to central America.  I hate it when people do the Jesus will provide thing all the time  I wish everybody would let Jesus provide and see what would happen.  We believe in Jesus but my grandmother told me to always be able to provide for myself because you couldn't trust anybody else to do it.  You might pray that you were given the strength to get you through the day, but not the dollars.

This reminds me of a russian proverb:

Pray to God ,but continue to row ashore

[Wellfleet]

This reminds me of a russian proverb:

Pray to God ,but continue to row ashore

 

Also from World War I, I think - Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition!

Edited June 17, 2015 by Wellfleet

[RedPonyDriver]

Oh goodness! This talk about enabling sort of strikes home. My son, DIL and grandson live with us. My son was an electrical apprentice...but he got shocked and it freaked him out. I get it. So...they moved in with me...he has a job that doesn't pay crap, and is in school full time. So...I will help them out until they can get on their feet...but it's a "grass, gas or @$$" situation. They pay a token rent, buy groceries and all the necessities for their son. 

 

I have a 2 year AAS...I make a pretty good living. 4 year college isn't for everyone (it wasn't for me) 

 

The way JB goes about "apprenticing" the boys is bulls***. GOOD tradesmen (and I include myself in that) can't learn everything in an afternoon. I've been working in my field for almost 20 years and I'm STILL learning new things. 

[Quilt Fairy]

The tea with the dainty desserts and a cuppa is afternoon tea and was sometimes called "low tea" in the past, for some reason.

Because it was taken in the withdrawing room and served on low tables.

[ChocolateAddict]

The whole "Jesus will provide" line annoys me.  I don't think that Jesus meant that you should sit on the couch while he organizes take-away for dinner!  It doesn't mean that you can just take a backseat and assume that Jesus will sort it all out in the long run.  

Take note Duggars - Jesus isn't in the business of handing out money to young families with more kids than they can provide for (*cough* JoshJillJessa).

[MrsMommy]

But Jesus is providing through others.

"When you find yourself in a position to help others be happy, be glad because God is answering that persons prayers through you" 《 I forgot who actually said that

[bluebonnet]

I like to think of it as just me being a decent human being when I help someone.  There is no god controlling my actions without my consent.  I'd report him to the police promptly.  

[mynextmistake]

Also from World War I, I think - Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition!

My favorite quote from along these lines: "put your faith in God, but mind to keep your powder dry."

But Jesus is providing through others.

"When you find yourself in a position to help others be happy, be glad because God is answering that persons prayers through you" 《 I forgot who actually said that

God gave me free will. I can use it to help others or not. I neither praise him when I choose to help or blame him when I don't.

I think Michelle really has a problem of some kind. It's not just that she eschews birth control and has popped out 19 kids. It's that she really, truly seems to think giving birth to those kids, as opposed to raising them, is the only important thing she's ever done.

[cmr2014]

THIS! EXACTLY!!! THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!! I remember when they were only 14 kids, I complained aloud that they were setting SUCH a horrible example of responsible childbearing. At the time, I didn't know anything ABOUT the family except they had a horde of kids. I griped and griped about them, how many people thought they were WONDERFUL (my own flesh and blood daughter included) for bringing as many blessings into the world as possible. How could they POSSIBLY feed, clothe, protect, educate and shelter that many children (disregarding braces or eye care!) without the help of others? I couldn't BELIEVE the message - that GOD was in charge of their conception plan (or so they portrayed). How could they afford diapers? Food? Cookies? Shoes? How do they even KNOW who has a fever, chills or nightmares? How do they KNOW who likes to be rocked? Who NEEDS shoes? OMG, that's not a FAMILY, THAT'S a group home! It's an institution. Without ever watching the show, I hated it. I hated the premise, I hated the portrayal.

This is all so very true! (I would have quoted the whole post, but it's long).

 

People love their kids. I'm sure that the Duggars love their kids, too, in their way, but they should not have ANY kids. 

 

Children aren't simply a "blessing," they are a responsibility. They require mountains of physical things like food, clothing, shoes, toys, books, etc. and an even greater quantity of intangibles: attention, affection, encouragement, etc. And, they are individual human beings with different needs: some need structure and discipline while others need a gentler hand; some have talents in intellectual fields, while others have great talent in art, or in working with their hands. They need guidance and supervision, but they also need space to make their own decisions and their own mistakes.

 

So much of the stuff that the Duggars portray as adorable adaptations to having so many kids are simply horrifying: The kids schedule appointments with Mom and Dad! We have a buddy system where the older girls raise the younger children! We can't afford all our kids, but the members of our church give us stuff!

 

I know that their fans think that they are a wonderful Christian family, but I don't think that there is anything Christian about them -- simply talking about Jesus all the time doesn't make you a good Christian. Jesus never said "Blessed are the people who have children and don't care for them." He never said "Blessed are the people who don't work and expect free stuff from their neighbors." There no verse in the Bible "Blessed are those who try to dictate how others should live."

 

When J'chelle says that she "doesn't have a heart for children," and JB admits that he "didn't have an anger problem until they started having kids," why didn't they listen? They think that God is micro-managing every aspect of their lives, but when God did actually "lay something on their hearts" why didn't they listen?

[Sew Sumi]

But Jesus is providing through others.

"When you find yourself in a position to help others be happy, be glad because God is answering that persons prayers through you" 《 I forgot who actually said that.

I think this refers to charitable acts, not mooching off your family and thinking that the "Lord provides." Two different animals, entirely. 

 

As I said above, the BIBLE says, leave and cleave. Mechelle even said it when Josh got married, but unlike the usual situation in which the kid is the moocher, here the parent offers perks and a paying spot on a long-running television show. Time to cut BOTH cords, both the houses and jobs/TV show in its entirety. Let the kids actually fucking leave and cleave. 

 

If JB and Mechelle raised them right, there would be no worries, right? I think a big underlying reason they can/t' let go is that they are truly afraid that the cultspeak may not stick. It's easier to keep them in daddy's bosom - so to speak - than allow them to test the waters of real life on their own.

 

Sure, Josh got a taste of life on his own in DC, but let's face it, there was usually one of his family members at his place, or he flew home for long weekends twice a month. On balance, he really did NOT have the breathing room that some have given him credit for. And that's all on his parents. 

[RedPonyDriver]

If JB and Mechelle raised them right, there would be no worries, right? I think a big underlying reason they can/t' let go is that they are truly afraid that the cultspeak may not stick. It's easier to keep them in daddy's bosom - so to speak - than allow them to test the waters of real life on their own.

 

 

I never understood WHY the kids have to have "accountability partners" every damn time they leave the house...if they were "raised right", then the kids would keep to the morals and values mommy and daddy instilled in them. And...if not...so? it's a control thing. My kids were/are no angels...but they're independent (well, mostly independent) individuals who are making their own way in life. I don't have to like it or agree with it...they're over 18 and as long as its legal, it's none of my business!

[SpottedCoachDog]

People love their kids. I'm sure that the Duggars love their kids, too, in their way, but they should not have ANY kids.

Children aren't simply a "blessing," they are a responsibility. They require mountains of physical things like food, clothing, shoes, toys, books, etc. and an even greater quantity of intangibles: attention, affection, encouragement, etc. And, they are individual human beings with different needs: some need structure and discipline while others need a gentler hand; some have talents in intellectual fields, while others have great talent in art, or in working with their hands. They need guidance and supervision, but they also need space to make their own decisions and their own mistakes.

So much of the stuff that the Duggars portray as adorable adaptations to having so many kids are simply horrifying: The kids schedule appointments with Mom and Dad! We have a buddy system where the older girls raise the younger children! We can't afford all our kids, but the members of our church give us stuff!

I know that their fans think that they are a wonderful Christian family, but I don't think that there is anything Christian about them -- simply talking about Jesus all the time doesn't make you a good Christian. Jesus never said "Blessed are the people who have children and don't care for them." He never said "Blessed are the people who don't work and expect free stuff from their neighbors." There no verse in the Bible "Blessed are those who try to dictate how others should live."

When J'chelle says that she "doesn't have a heart for children," and JB admits that he "didn't have an anger problem until they started having kids," why didn't they listen? They think that God is micro-managing every aspect of their lives, but when God did actually "lay something on their hearts" why didn't they listen?

Abso-fricking-lutely!!! Excellent points!

I have never understood how people don't see that having that many kids is neglect. It's not "God's will". It's the will of selfish and ignorant people.

[RedPonyDriver]

If Michelle "didn't have a heart for children"...why did she have so damn many? I like kids just fine but 3 was my limit...and they're pretty spaced out. That's ALWAYS bugged me about Michelle...

[Churchhoney]

Because it was taken in the withdrawing room and served on low tables.

 

Love how this place is sort of an on-demand encyclopedia. Thanks!

[Churchhoney]

 They require mountains of physical things like food, clothing, shoes, toys, books, etc. and an even greater quantity of intangibles: attention, affection, encouragement, etc. And, they are individual human beings with different needs: some need structure and discipline while others need a gentler hand; some have talents in intellectual fields, while others have great talent in art, or in working with their hands. They need guidance and supervision, but they also need space to make their own decisions and their own mistakes.

 

 

This is why I have a huge issue with the, "Oh, Jesus is providing" when the church folk and neighbors drop off stuff for the huge family or the roller-rink guy gives Boob free tickets (before he stopped doing that. heh). Because if that's Jesus, then he's only providing the less important stuff since those all-important intangibles can't be dropped off on your porch by other people. God doesn't, can't provide those intangible things unless he could somehow give you, as parents, endless mental and emotional energy plus 96 hours in every day to figure out and take care of those things yourselves.

 

Makes no sense to me that people's charity for somebody's way-too-many kids is evidence that "God provides" when those same kids are still left completely wanting when it comes to things like individual attention, educaton, understaning of their uniqueness, guidance and so on. If needs were actually being directly met by Jesus, he'd find some way to meet all of those needs too, seems to me, but there's pretty clear evidence that that's not true, at least in the case of some of the families who most loudly declare it to be true, such as the Rodriguezes and the Duggars.

[GEML]

^^^^This. "God will provide" really isn't and never has been about trips to resorts or name brand clothes or allowing a child to look and feel like "everyone else." It's been about the basics - food and shelter and clothing. But what God expects of his parents (those who use his name and claim him) is a parent who can create a home where while those things may be absent, a warmth, love, comradeship and community are there that actually draw other people TO YOUR FAMILY rather than making other people feel the need to take the child out because they see the child only as lacking.

With the Duggars, the lacks are always glaring. In other Fundy families, even those living in very reduced circumstances, it is not.

[Chaos Theory]

Yes some have license but my husband does everything plumbing, electric, drywall, literally everything and doesn't have a license. He does a lot of work for the local real estate office and no one has ever said he needs a license. But if he had to get one for some reason the price of his work would go up dramatically

I used to work for a company that hired non Union people to do repair work for...let's call it stuff. When they went to locations that hired them the union staff would stop working because no nob Union people work for a lot less money it doesn't matter if the union is technically not in competition. I could be a rodeo clown you could be a carpenter. i think the place I used to work list a lot of work because they hired non Union repair stuff.

But I guess if you don't really care or if it doesn't apply to you hiring non Union less expensive. Plus I do have respect for people who build there own whatever which is a lost art.

Edited June 17, 2015 by Chaos Theory