50 Shades Series: Fan Fiction Run Amok

[maraleia]

Here are the trailers for this badly written and plotted out book. The question is will this movie be good or bad for the BDSM community. Time will tell of course.

http://www.eonline.com/news/621270/jamie-dornan-makes-dakota-johnson-an-offer-she-can-t-refuse-in-new-fifty-shades-of-grey-clip-watch-now

 

 

Also, the director and E.L. James clash about the movie's sex scenes http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/03/fifty-shades-of-grey-sex-scenes_n_6604776.html?ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067

[methodwriter85]

I can't wait to see this and laugh my ass off.

[Trini]

I want this to bomb --hard. But I know it won't. And it doesn't look nearly as unintentionally hilarious as the Twilight films.

[xls]

I want this to bomb --hard. But I know it won't. And it doesn't look nearly as unintentionally hilarious as the Twilight films.

I don't find it sexy at all.

[Bean421]

I want to live tweet this so badly! Epic snark. It would be amazing if The Inner Goddess made an appearance.

[FozzyBear]

I don't get this thing. I never read the books (hey! I'm in Grad School. I have to be choosy with my pleasure reading. Anything where the main characters are named Anastasia Steel and Christain Grey isnt making the list because, subtle dude. Subtle), but aren't they supposed to be really kinky? The move does not look kinky. In fact it looks like a Lifetime movie with some fairly mild sex. Is it going to be kinky? Am I missing something? Am I just a lot dirtier than I thought? Because I consider myself pretty vanilla and nothing in this movie looks shocking.

[Cirien]

I don't think there's any question that while this film will make more people curious about the BDSM community and wanting to join and be involved. However most of the people I know who are in the scene they are actively trying to distance themselves from this book series. ...

[spaceytraci1208]

I don't get this thing. I never read the books (hey! I'm in Grad School. I have to be choosy with my pleasure reading. Anything where the main characters are named Anastasia Steel and Christain Grey isnt making the list because, subtle dude. Subtle), but aren't they supposed to be really kinky? The move does not look kinky. In fact it looks like a Lifetime movie with some fairly mild sex. Is it going to be kinky? Am I missing something? Am I just a lot dirtier than I thought? Because I consider myself pretty vanilla and nothing in this movie looks shocking.

I read the book for a (now defunct) book club. It's a lot more sexually explicit than it appears in the previews for the movie, but it was so bad that when I finished I literally threw it across the room and said"What the fuck was that?!"

[Betweenyouandme]

I'm just interested how this Garfield guy is going to pull off looking and seeming dominant. They sure did choose someone with a .... baby face. Though it makes sense; they dont want to be overly intimidating.

I've read that some people have been worried other people who don't know anything about safety in BDSM will get hurt trying out things. I think that's valid. But, I haven't read the books, so I'm not sure what sort of things they do...except something with a tampon?

Maybe they need a disclaimer about not trying these things at home without consulting about ways to reduce/avoid any medical harm. If the movies about light spanking and being told what to do, I wouldn't think its a big deal. But, I can see the concern if there's tying up with rope. Someone could suffocate or have their neck snapped if done without research/knowledge/training. I'd have to be more well informed before personally worrying.

It also doesn't help that I don't take the book seriously, but I'm sure there are people who do. I had more worries, personally, about The Secretary due to self-harm being depicted so much even though that was taken away from the woman and replaced with discipline by the man in that film.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I'm just interested how this Garfield guy is going to pull off looking and seeming dominant. They sure did choose someone with a .... baby face. Though it makes sense; they dont want to be overly intimidating.

 

That isn't Andrew Garfield, it's Jamie Dornan. It sort of amuses me that he's gone from being Regina's victim on Once Upon A Time to macro-douchebag Christian Grey, but at the same time I'm annoyed because I liked him and now he's going to be associated with this trash forever. I don't just want it to bomb, I want it to turn inside out, explode and then catch on fire.

[Betweenyouandme]

That isn't Andrew Garfield, it's Jamie Dornan. It sort of amuses me that he's gone from being Regina's victim on Once Upon A Time to macro-douchebag Christian Grey, but at the same time I'm annoyed because I liked him and now he's going to be associated with this trash forever. I don't just want it to bomb, I want it to turn inside out, explode and then catch on fire.

Oops. Thank you! They both have that "look" to me, but I'm glad to have it straight now.

[Janet Snakehole]

If anyone wants to watch this for the lols, I recommend reading Jenny Trout's recaps instead. They are hilarious and point out how the relationship here is just straight up abuse rather than BDSM.

I really hope this bombs, but from looking at my Facebook, I think it will do fine.

[galax-arena]

 

Life would be better if Tywin Lannister narrated everything.

 

Heard that there are twenty minutes of sex scenes in the 100-minute film. But, alas, no tampon scene.

I've read that some people have been worried other people who don't know anything about safety in BDSM will get hurt trying out things. I think that's valid. But, I haven't read the books, so I'm not sure what sort of things they do...except something with a tampon?

 

Maybe they need a disclaimer about not trying these things at home without consulting about ways to reduce/avoid any medical harm. If the movies about light spanking and being told what to do, I wouldn't think its a big deal. But, I can see the concern if there's tying up with rope. Someone could suffocate or have their neck snapped if done without research/knowledge/training. I'd have to be more well informed before personally worrying.

AFAIK, it's less about the physical safety and more that the books show a very fucked up portrayal of BDSM and an emotionally unhealthy/abusive relationship. IIRC there's one scene where Ana uses the safeword and Christian gets annoyed that she safeworded him.

[Cirien]

Right. It's abuse dressed up as BDSM. Hell I've dabbled and one thing you know is that you always have the absolute right to safeword.

[Betweenyouandme]

Oh, I see. That makes a lot of sense. thanks for explaining!

[Princess Sparkle]

As long as they leave in the

"My mother was a crack whore"

line, I'm good.  I remember reading that and thinking "WTF?  No one who's

mother was an actual crack whore

would say that."  There's no way that line won't be cringe-worthy.

 

I'm not positive that has to be spoilered, but it is a plot point in the book that doesn't come out until the end, so I tagged just to be safe.

[Cranberry]

I can't wait to see this and laugh my ass off.

 

Please wait until after opening weekend, because if this trash ends up having the biggest opening weekend of the year, I will cry.

[galax-arena]

I actually really want to see this but, like, this is the sort of shit you watch in the shame and privacy of your own home, not in a theater filled with other people.

[Janet Snakehole]

I want to live tweet this so badly! Epic snark. It would be amazing if The Inner Goddess made an appearance.

I am wondering who could be cast as the inner goddess or subsconcious.

ETA: I think these two hate each other and the movie as much as Robert Pattison hates Twilight.

http://defamer.gawker.com/50-shades-of-sigh-the-disastrous-50-shades-of-grey-p-1683492446

Edited February 4, 2015 by Janet Snakehole

[methodwriter85]

I wonder if we'll get Anastacia marveling at her own Christian Grey lollipop.

 

 

Oops. Thank you! They both have that "look" to me, but I'm glad to have it straight now.

 

The original guy they had for this, Charlie Hunnam, actually was pretty intimidating-looking. Another guy that was apparently in the running, Billy Magnussen, is also pretty intimidating. I'm actually really surprised they went with Jamie Dornan. He's hot but in that lean runner's way, not the musclebound Adonis that Christian is described as being. And him having a Babyface kinda takes away from him being the wiser, older man to Ana's young, naive 22-year old college virgin deal. I mean, Dakota does have a mature face, and they could've tried getting a guy who isn't still boyishly good-looking to counter that.

 

I actually like both Dakota and Jamie so I'm kinda sad they'll be associated with this trash forever.

 

I will, however, laugh my ass off if this is so successful that they decide to split the third book into two movies and they're stuck doing this for three or four years.. LOL.

Edited February 4, 2015 by methodwriter85

[maraleia]

For a contrast check out this movie if you have Showtime http://www.sho.com/sho/movies/titles/3412554/submission-of-emma-marx#/index. The fantastic Jacky St. James wrote, produced and directed this movie.

[Rick Kitchen]

I read the book for a (now defunct) book club. It's a lot more sexually explicit than it appears in the previews for the movie, but it was so bad that when I finished I literally threw it across the room and said"What the fuck was that?!"

 

And yet there are two sequels.

 

 

Please wait until after opening weekend, because if this trash ends up having the biggest opening weekend of the year, I will cry.

 

Our local news just said that several showings are already sold out.

[Dejana]

I've read that some people have been worried other people who don't know anything about safety in BDSM will get hurt trying out things. I think that's valid. But, I haven't read the books, so I'm not sure what sort of things they do...except something with a tampon?

 

The tampon scene may have been cut from the movie but was included in this fan-made animated trailer (possibly NSFW and I suppose story spoilers):

 

 

The movie is 100 minutes long and will have apparently have 20 minutes of sex scenes. But apparently no jellyfish:

 

It’s likely that Sam Taylor-Johnson’s visions of whips and todger will end up being 20 minutes of tasteful pans and cutaways to billowing curtains. Here, an illuminating anecdote about a cut scene:

   

So there was a scene when we go into Anastasia's world and her head, and we just had these jellyfish on the screen. It was beautiful, very impressionistic.

Everyone went, 'What the f*** are those jellyfish doing there?'

 

She goes on to express sadness over having to cut the jellyfish, because she found them "so sexual."

 

It entertains me how they've tried so hard to make the Twilight fanfic movie artistic!

 

 

The trilogy has sold 100 million copies worldwide. This isn't to say that makes them good, just that the movie is going to be very popular, at least in its first weekend.

Edited February 5, 2015 by Dejana

[bmoore4026]

<tongue in cheek mode>There needs to be more fanfiction movies!  The world deserves to see the glory that is Sonichu!</tongue in cheek mode>

[Rick Kitchen]

There's a film version of My Immortal on YouTube.

[Jamoche]

So there was a scene when we go into Anastasia's world and her head

And here I was thinking that at least we'd be spared all the Inner Goddess blather.

[absnow54]

Please wait until after opening weekend, because if this trash ends up having the biggest opening weekend of the year, I will cry.

Thankfully The Avengers, Star Wars, and the last Hunger Games are coming out this year.

[Betweenyouandme]

Charlie Hunnam will be in Lost City of Z now, right?

I think I'm going to see 50 Shades of Grey...if I can get a friend to go with me. By myself, I normally go in the middle of the day. I'd be embarrassed if I were alone in the theater. Might get weird looks from the people who work there. What are the chances this movie will at least be interesting, especially in a crowded theater?

[methodwriter85]

I'm kind of expecting a rowdy experience.

 

 

And here I was thinking that at least we'd be spared all the Inner Goddess blather.

 

I bet Sam Taylor-Johnson and E.L. James had knock-down, drag out fights about how much of the dialogue was allowed to transfer. Some of it is just ridiculous coming from the mouth of a 22-year old in 2011. I hope to god the inner monologue was toned down like it was for the Twilight movie.

[Shades of Red]

AFAIK, it's less about the physical safety and more that the books show a very fucked up portrayal of BDSM and an emotionally unhealthy/abusive relationship. IIRC there's one scene where Ana uses the safeword and Christian gets annoyed that she safeworded him.

 

I have a good friend who is the BDSM community.  She says how fucked up the books are in their portrayal of the community and how it works.   I think there are several articles out there that talk about this being an abusive relationship vs a BDSM relationship.  The same things have been said about the original material this is based on.  I only saw the first Twilight movie, haven't read those books either so can't verify that.

 

I think I'm going to see 50 Shades of Grey...if I can get a friend to go with me. By myself, I normally go in the middle of the day. I'd be embarrassed if I were alone in the theater. Might get weird looks from the people who work there. What are the chances this movie will at least be interesting, especially in a crowded theater?

I saw "Young People F#cking" in a theatre in the middle of the day with only a couple of people.  The best way to watch it.  No weird looks.  I think it's better than having some weirdo sitting next to you and you have no other place to move to because the theatre is full.

[Princess Sparkle]

Oh dear lord, that talk of the jellyfish might ensure that I see this opening night, drunk, with a bunch of my girlfriends.  

 

And I had almost forgotten about all the other random little tidbits that were so odd to me reading it, that will look even sillier on screen - like Anastasia not owning a computer (despite it pretty much being a necessity for a college student today) and being an American-bred kid who uses British slang all the time.  

Edited February 5, 2015 by Princess Sparkle

[FozzyBear]

Oh dear lord, that talk of the jellyfish might ensure that I see this opening night, drunk, with a bunch of my girlfriends.

And I had almost forgotten about all the other random little tidbits that were so odd to me reading it, that will look even sillier on screen - like Anastasia not owning a computer (despite it pretty much being a necessity for a college student today) and being an American-bred kid who uses British slang all the time.

Wait. Why doesn't she own a computer? Isn't she a writer interviewing Gray when they meet? What was she going to write the thing on? Is this just to make her look like a delightfully twee little thing that melts the heart of the big bad wolf? Damn these books sound weird.

[Princess Sparkle]

She only goes to interview him because her roommate (who's actually the journalism student) has the flu, so she goes in her place.  And yeah, it's a big deal to her when Christian buys her a laptop because she didn't own one - when I started college 10 years ago, you needed a computer, so it's hilariously stupid that a college student now wouldn't have one.

 

I hate that I only read the book once, and yet remember all this.  

Edited February 5, 2015 by Princess Sparkle

[FozzyBear]

She only goes to interview him because her roommate (who's actually the journalism student) has the flu, so she goes in her place. And yeah, it's a big deal to her when Christian buys her a laptop because she didn't own one - when I started college 10 years ago, you needed a computer, so it's hilariously stupid that a college student now wouldn't have one.

I hate that I only read the book once, and yet remember all this.

Bwahahaha! Oh goodness. The more you guys describe the books they more they sound like really dirty Sweet Valley High novels. I may have to watch the movie just out of morbid curiosity.

[ribboninthesky1]

Hee! I think you get a pass, PrincessSparkle.  Sounds like some really absurd stuff (beyond the abuse disguised as BDSM), so it's probably seared into the "WTF?" part of the brain. 

 

The phenomenon of this series is so bizarre to me, especially since I'm certain that, at minimum, there is better written fanfiction, not to mention erotica in general.  But then, I didn't understand the hoopla around the Twilight films, either.  There was an interesting Salon article that talked about writers not disclosing where their money comes from.  Because in this age of self-publishing, I'm fascinated why some writers are more heralded than others.          

Edited February 5, 2015 by ribboninthesky1

[cleo]

Like everyone else I think this movie is completely ridiculous. In terms of the cast, though, I just finished watching Jamie Dornan in the the British series the Fall, where he plays a serial killer and he was very good in the role, very cold, remorseless and chilling. Of course the material was also very good, so that makes a difference. In fact I would forget 50 shades and watch The Fall. 

Edited February 5, 2015 by cleo

[Janet Snakehole]

Hmm. Jamie Dornan playing a serial killer goes along with my secret hope that the movie has the twist that Christian actually is a serial killer.

Watch the trailer and tell me that twist wouldn't work better with the trailer's atmosphere.

[Silje]

Bwahahaha! Oh goodness. The more you guys describe the books they more they sound like really dirty Sweet Valley High novels. I may have to watch the movie just out of morbid curiosity.

 

SnarkSquad has recapped the books chapter by chapter, and from the recap of chapter one: 

It was the very first page of the book that convinced me that this story was begging to be snarked: it opened with a girl checking herself out in a mirror! Aw, E.L. James. Way to take a page out of 90% of all Sweet Valley High books ever written.

I highly recommend the recaps. They are hilarious mixed with 'why do people love this shitty book with terrible writing and the horrible Christian Grey?!?'. There is only one downside - when you know what happens in the books you'll start questioning your friends and acquaintances that love the books and Christian Grey..

 

Hmm. Jamie Dornan playing a serial killer goes along with my secret hope that the movie has the twist that Christian actually is a serial killer.

Watch the trailer and tell me that twist wouldn't work better with the trailer's atmosphere.

 

All of Christian's former subs are buried in the woods and no one will convince me otherwise.    

[Rick Kitchen]

So the press is reporting that Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson cannot stand each other.  I wonder how this bodes for a sequel (or two)

[Featherhat]

I have at times been a member of a good BDSM community. And whilst a lot of people expect an influx of enthusiastic movie/book fans, most don't expect them to last 6 months let alone the year, because what was presented in the book (I only read about half the first one) is the antithesis of a mutually fulfilling relationship on any level, let alone with a sub community which  generally acknowledges consent more than any other. Private kinks are one thing, straight out abuse is something else, and the books do "go there". This isn't even 2d rate Snape porn Fanfic, featuring Dumbledore, Harry and/or/Draco. It's written much worse than that. Even though its supposed to be professionally edited.

 

It will probably make more than enough money to film the "trilogy" such as it is (probably could have been one movie) but will the novelty will off sooner than expected, I hope so. If you are interested in spanking/BDSM or many other taboos there are way more accurate avenues than thinking this is the highlight.

[Jamoche]

From Consumerist: Theaters tell fans to leave their props at home

 

Yeah, right. As if anyone was going to do that; this is just marketing trying to drum up interest in a movie that still doesn't have any pre-screener reviews up on Rotten Tomatoes. They know it's going to suck.

[maraleia]

I still say everyone should check out The Submission of Emma Marx on Showtime. I loved it.

[Betweenyouandme]

I still say everyone should check out The Submission of Emma Marx on Showtime. I loved it.

I saw that it's playing on the Showtime channel again in March from the link you had shared. I've set my DVR to record it.

[methodwriter85]

The Jenny Trout recaps of the book are hilarious. Dear god.

[Betweenyouandme]

The theater chain I normally go to just sent me an email that wrote they are now serving "50 Shades of Grey wines in red and white by acclaimed novelist E.L. James."

[proserpina65]

The theater chain I normally go to just sent me an email that wrote they are now serving "50 Shades of Grey wines in red and white by acclaimed novelist E.L. James."

Really?  Vom-it.

[Dandesun]

The theater chain I normally go to just sent me an email that wrote they are now serving "50 Shades of Grey wines in red and white by acclaimed novelist E.L. James."

 

Now this shit is invading the wine trade? I am not pleased.

 

I'm not likely to go see this movie. I fear my sister in law is going to suggest going to see it as a joke or something and I'm going to scream "NOOOO!" like Luke Skywalker after Vader told him who his father really was. I haven't read the book because I usually have a serious aversion to anything that 'the women of America/world love!' Also my cousin, who is as avid a reader as I and has some similar tastes read it and went on a tirade about it that confirmed my predictions about it.

 

Plus, I've been reading the various snark-caps on this book and about fifteen chapters into each one it clearly goes from fun to snark to downright painful to get through. The recappers reach a point where they're like "This is hell. I am in hell. Why did I ever start doing this?" And why does it have to be shitty fan fiction that gets this much attention? There's amazing fan fic out there in a lot of different genres. Why is it that some bullshit abuse piece masquerading as BDSM that, itself, is a fanfic of Twilight, another shoddily written piece of shit, gets out there? It makes me weep.

[Betweenyouandme]

So...it doesn't titillate your inner goddess to where you want to lie on a bear skin rug in all leather, slowly sipping wine by the acclaimed author while watching a throbbing bratwurst dangle out the corner of your sheepish eye? Color me confuzzled. ;)

Edited February 6, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[Dandesun]

I am not against laying on a bear skin rug in leather whilst drinking wine. Not hardly. But it would have to be good wine and not book wine for starters. And I'd be full on looking... not being all "Oh, I can't look directly at the Adonis-like appendage for fear it would sear my eyes OR result in a spanking... or both!" Said in a whisper, of course.

 

And this inner goddess shit? I'm almost curious as to how they're going to incorporate this into the movie. Voice-overs? Is the majority of the voice-over going to be what Ana's Inner Goddess is doing? Maybe it will be a thought bubble and then a little cartoon... like in Lizzie McGuire. (Why do I know that? Did my sisters watch that show?)

 

When it comes down to it, I'm fairly certain that the Kushiel series was more accurate about what a submissive was than 50 Shades of Crap.

[Featherhat]

 

Now this shit is invading the wine trade? I am not pleased.

 

I'm not likely to go see this movie. I fear my sister in law is going to suggest going to see it as a joke or something and I'm going to scream "NOOOO!" like Luke Skywalker after Vader told him who his father really was. I haven't read the book because I usually have a serious aversion to anything that 'the women of America/world love!' Also my cousin, who is as avid a reader as I and has some similar tastes read it and went on a tirade about it that confirmed my predictions about it.

 

Plus, I've been reading the various snark-caps on this book and about fifteen chapters into each one it clearly goes from fun to snark to downright painful to get through. The recappers reach a point where they're like "This is hell. I am in hell. Why did I ever start doing this?" And why does it have to be shitty fan fiction that gets this much attention? There's amazing fan fic out there in a lot of different genres. Why is it that some bullshit abuse piece masquerading as BDSM that, itself, is a fanfic of Twilight, another shoddily written piece of shit, gets out there? It makes me weep.

 

I got 3 chapters in and thought I couldn't carry on, flipped to a couple of "hot" sex scenes and thought that I'd read better sex in other fanfic, let alone better published kink stuff and didn't bother getting. I have read some of the snark caps though and yeah, there is a change as you get further and further into the book, and can get sado masochistic via inability to stop reading/writing the recap.