Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

JustHereForFood · May 4

I've seen a similar point being made about movies. That we remember the classics because they were the best, but that there was a lot of crappy movies that most people don't even know nowadays, except some movie enthusiasts. So we pay more attention to the mediocre movies now because we simply see more of them, but good movies are still being made as well. Also, people now complain a lot about blockbusters, but there were eras of westerns, action flicks, etc., so again nothing really new.

Wiendish Fitch · May 5

4 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

I've seen a similar point being made about movies. That we remember the classics because they were the best, but that there was a lot of crappy movies that most people don't even know nowadays, except some movie enthusiasts. So we pay more attention to the mediocre movies now because we simply see more of them, but good movies are still being made as well. Also, people now complain a lot about blockbusters, but there were eras of westerns, action flicks, etc., so again nothing really new.

It's funny you should say that, because Jerry Seinfeld recently had this to bitch about:

“It used to be, you would go home at the end of the day, most people would go, ‘Oh, Cheers is on. Oh, M*A*S*H is on. Oh, Mary Tyler Moore is on. All in the Family is on,’” he told The New Yorker. “You just expected, there’ll be some funny stuff we can watch on TV tonight. Well, guess what—where is it? This is the result of the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people.

You'll notice he's talking about shows that are 40, 50 years old. It's rather telling that Seinfeld doesn't even mention sitcoms from the 90s (a great decade for them, IMO)... you know, the decade his own fucking sitcom was on?! This makes it looks like he's been stewing about this very trivial issue for nearly half a century. And we've had comedies from the 2000s onward! I realize that people still seem to prefer "dark n' gritty" (and true crime is huge), but sitcoms and comedies are still around. The reason they may not be as in high demand has nothing to do with "political correctness". It has everything to do with changing tastes, and good ol' supply and demand. Audiences's tastes change all the time. For all we know, we could have a sitcom renaissance ten years from now.

Finally, Jerry... you dated a 17-year-old when you were 40. You have no right to cast stones at anybody or anything, so kindly take a damn seat. Oh, and your new movie sounds awful.

I have no idea what to with people who complain about stuff like that, except maybe suggest they live in an underground bunker and never come out again.

Edited May 5 by Wiendish Fitch

Anela · May 5

8 hours ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

It's funny you should say that, because Jerry Seinfeld recently had this to bitch about:

“It used to be, you would go home at the end of the day, most people would go, ‘Oh, Cheers is on. Oh, M*A*S*H is on. Oh, Mary Tyler Moore is on. All in the Family is on,’” he told The New Yorker. “You just expected, there’ll be some funny stuff we can watch on TV tonight. Well, guess what—where is it? This is the result of the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people.

You'll notice he's talking about shows that are 40, 50 years old. It's rather telling that Seinfeld doesn't even mention sitcoms from the 90s (a great decade for them, IMO)... you know, the decade his own fucking sitcom was on?! This makes it looks like he's been stewing about this very trivial issue for nearly half a century. And we've had comedies from the 2000s onward! I realize that people still seem to prefer "dark n' gritty" (and true crime is huge), but sitcoms and comedies are still around. The reason they may not be as in high demand has nothing to do with "political correctness". It has everything to do with changing tastes, and good ol' supply and demand. Audiences's tastes change all the time. For all we know, we could have a sitcom renaissance ten years from now.

Finally, Jerry... you dated a 17-year-old when you were 40. You have no right to cast stones at anybody or anything, so kindly take a damn seat. Oh, and your new movie sounds awful.

I have no idea what to with people who complain about stuff like that, except maybe suggest they live in an underground bunker and never come out again.

I saw that, too. I’ve been on a “Mad About You” kick, for the last twenty-four hours, after find the virtual reality episode on YouTube. One of my favorites. I liked Seinfeld, when it aired, but I’ve never re-watched it.

supposebly · May 5

I hate Jerry Seinfeld and I never thought he was funny. Now in his old bitter phase, he is even less so. I saw the trailer. Not funny again. It's a mystery to me what people ever liked.

Gods help me to avoid becoming one of those people that confuses nostalgia for my youth with thinking they were better days, societally speaking.

The good old days were rarely that. Especially not for women. I hope I won't forget that.

Yeah No · May 5

On 5/2/2024 at 2:24 PM, annzeepark914 said:

Handheld dryer. I think I'm going to ask if the hairdryer has to be so OTT hot. I've actually yelled "ow" when the hot air hits my ear or neck. Sheesh...the price of beauty 😁

I've had this happen. My stylist says I must have a sensitive scalp but I use my own dryer on a pretty high heat so I just think she sometimes doesn't get the angle just right and hits my head too directly with it. Those professional dryers have different heat levels so it should not be a big deal for her to lower the heat. Even though I've told my stylist about this I still have to remind her of this at times.

On 5/3/2024 at 2:24 PM, Ohiopirate02 said:

I am shit at knowing any musicians lately. I don't listen to radio stations anymore to actively hear any new music. I stream my playlist and occasionally add new songs when I am exposed to them. I have no intention of changing my listening habits, but really how are you supposed to hear new music when radio is almost dead and MTV has strayed too far from its roots?

Sirius XM is how I listen to current music. Although these days I pretty much only listen to the Chill station, which is laid back electronic music. Until recently I didn't realize how many current songs they play on it and when I hear them in other places I feel like I'm not so out of touch anymore, LOL.

On 5/3/2024 at 3:28 PM, Dimity said:

I recently read an article that said studies have shown that for most people their musical taste solidifies while they are in their teens and that even into adulthood and middle age this is the music you still prefer. This is certainly true for me. Other studies suggest that people stop listening to new music when they are around 30. Somewhat true for me although a little drastic. Definitely not true of my octagenarian father who loves Queen and Rod Stewart!

That is true of my husband but not me. He still plays all the oldies rock stations in his car on Sirius. I kept up with current music into my 40s so it's been about 20 years since I made an effort to listen to new music. Except for Sirius XM Chill, that is. Whatever they play that's current I will know about. I sometimes don't know it's a current hit song until I hear it somewhere else or see the artist on TV and think to myself, "Hey, I know that, I'm still hip and cool!" LOL That's how I know who Blac Chyna, Drake and Dua Lipa are. But I still don't know a lot of current artists anymore.

My Dad was really current with music himself way into his adulthood despite being of an older generation that didn't grow up with rock music. He actually introduced ME to some artists and styles of music. We used to peruse record shops in Greenwich Village when I was a kid. We waited outside one to get the Stones' "Sticky Fingers" album when it first came out, LOL. My mother thought it was filthy and scolded us, but I later saw her trying to unzip the fly on the album cover, LOL. 😉

Yeah No · May 5

On 5/3/2024 at 5:19 PM, annzeepark914 said:

When I was a kid, I not only listened to R&R--I also listened to my dad's (a professional musician) albums: Ray Anthony, Glenn Miller, Jackie Gleason (really! beautiful instrumental versions of Xmas music), etc. Geez, I can't remember the other big band albums. Every once in a while, a song will enter my brain and I'll think: wow--we late 50's/early 60's kids listened to a wide variety of music on our Top 40 stations (at least in the metro NYC area). Do any boomer New Yorkers remember the "Uh-oh" song? Our stations (e.g., WABC, WINS, etc,) played Steve & Edie, Ferrante & Teicher, various instrumental pieces. *And* each record was identified. When did radio stations stop identifying the records' talents?

I don't remember the late 50s at all musically. My earliest memories were Del Shannon's "Runaway" and Chubby Checker's "The Twist", although my memories of those were from about age 3 when my father would play them on the record player in our living room and we'd dance to them, LOL. I remember the checkerboard album cover on Chubby's "Twist" album. I still have those singles and that album BTW!

My parents' musical interests were very broad and I grew up listening to all of the above big bands like Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller, Burt Bacharach, Herb Alpert, Stan Getz, Antonio Carlos Jobim, you name it, we listened to it. Also Mozart, Beethoven, Vivaldi and many Italian operas. Both of my parents were musical so there was always a lot of music in my house. My father and I used to listen to the foreign music programs on WFUV so I even had exposure to the music of other cultures.

And yes, who could live in the NYC area at that time and not know Cousin Brucie and Dan Ingram? They were EVERYWHERE. I lived for the Billboard top 100 at my local record shop on the Grand Concourse "Spinning Disc". Despite all of that, I didn't ever know of the "Uh Oh" song!

BTW, on satellite radio they musicians and the song title are credited.

Spartan Girl · May 5

1 hour ago, supposebly said:

I hate Jerry Seinfeld and I never thought he was funny. Now in his old bitter phase, he is even less so. I saw the trailer. Not funny again. It's a mystery to me what people ever liked.

I did watch Unfrosted last night, and I assure you the few parts that were funny had NOTHING to do with Jerry Seinfeld.

Dimity · May 5

1 hour ago, supposebly said:

The good old days were rarely that. Especially not for women. I hope I won't forget that.

I didn't know, until recently, that here in Canada married women could not open a bank account in their own name (without hubbie's signature) until 1964 and couldn't apply for a credit card in their own name until 1974. Stuff we just take for granted today.

peacheslatour · May 5

21 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I didn't know, until recently, that here in Canada married women could not open a bank account in their own name (without hubbie's signature) until 1964 and couldn't apply for a credit card in their own name until 1974. Stuff we just take for granted today.

I remember a PSA from the seventies. A woman doctor was trying to get a credit card and surprise her husband with a fabulous trip for his birthday. The banker said "I'm sorry, it's just not possible to do that for people like you." The doctor, shocked, asked "Is it because I'm black?" and the banker said "No, you're a woman." It was really strange to me. I had no idea.

Wiendish Fitch · May 5

It is dangerous to idealize the past. For every good or, dare I say it, better thing that existed, there were loads of things that weren't. I'm disgusted by people who wish we still lived in the 1950s. You know, the decade that had segregation, blacklisting, restrictions on women's' rights, and electroshock and fucking lobotomies were still being performed!

The late Roger Ebert elaborates on this point much better than I can in his review of Pleasantville.

ABay · May 5

The phrase "it was a simpler time" is BS. The times weren't simple, you were--you were a child.

Spartan Girl · May 5

People are even doing that with 2020. No, I am not kidding. People are thinking that we were better off in 20 FUCKING 20 than now.

JustHereForFood · May 5

12 hours ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

It's funny you should say that, because Jerry Seinfeld recently had this to bitch about:

“It used to be, you would go home at the end of the day, most people would go, ‘Oh, Cheers is on. Oh, M*A*S*H is on. Oh, Mary Tyler Moore is on. All in the Family is on,’” he told The New Yorker. “You just expected, there’ll be some funny stuff we can watch on TV tonight. Well, guess what—where is it? This is the result of the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people.

You'll notice he's talking about shows that are 40, 50 years old. It's rather telling that Seinfeld doesn't even mention sitcoms from the 90s (a great decade for them, IMO)... you know, the decade his own fucking sitcom was on?! This makes it looks like he's been stewing about this very trivial issue for nearly half a century. And we've had comedies from the 2000s onward! I realize that people still seem to prefer "dark n' gritty" (and true crime is huge), but sitcoms and comedies are still around. The reason they may not be as in high demand has nothing to do with "political correctness". It has everything to do with changing tastes, and good ol' supply and demand. Audiences's tastes change all the time. For all we know, we could have a sitcom renaissance ten years from now.

LOL, just a few years ago I was looking forward to the end of the week to come home and watch Big Bang Theory and Will&Grace.

Things are changing for sitcoms, just like any other TV shows, but that is because of the move towards streaming services and binge-watching.

3 hours ago, supposebly said:

The good old days were rarely that. Especially not for women. I hope I won't forget that.

I believe it's called Nostalgia filter or something like that.

oliviabenson · May 5

Men who trying to move in with me/ use me in whatever ways they can think of. Are there any decent guys left with a job or anything. Dating puddle is abysmal, it’s not even a pool…

I am not social services/ homeless shelter/ soup kitchen or your sugar mama. Pay for your damn self.

Also why they ask if I have kids? Or who I live with?

annzeepark914 · May 5

1 hour ago, ABay said:

The phrase "it was a simpler time" is BS. The times weren't simple, you were--you were a child.

True. But I think folks are recalling a quieter time...back when we had just 3 broadcasting networks (the news came on at 6 PM after an hour of local news). Then there were shows: sitcoms, variety, and game shows. 11:00 PM? A half hour of news and then bedtime (except for the night owls who watched late night movies or talk shows). No internet, no round the clock news reminding you of all the awful things going on in the world. It was quieter, and I think people confuse that with simpler.

Blergh · May 5

1 hour ago, ABay said:

The phrase "it was a simpler time" is BS. The times weren't simple, you were--you were a child.

True- and as children, it was somewhat expected for our parents to do the worrying about the outside world FOR us. There was a good 'Peanuts' strip in which Charlie Brown explained to Peppermint Patty that,as kids, one had the luxury of getting to ride to and from long journeys in the backseat while one's parents did the worrying about the road,trip and life itself in the front seat but, then as we grow up, WE have to do said worrying and can never depend on others to do it for us again.

All the above said, I can recall in the early 1970's my parents thinking that things were 'simpler' in the late 1940's while my grandparents thinking things were 'simpler' in the 1910's to 1920's but a fair-minded look at contemporary records from those times (and earlier) shows that there hasn't truly been a 'simpler time' as far back as recorded human history- and that while there have been changing things to worry about and deal with throughout the ages, there has never been a worry-free time or era for anyone!

annzeepark914 · May 5

The folks living through the 1930's and 1940's had to endure the Depression *and* WWII. But again, without 24 hour media bombardment, a lot of the horrors & miseries were muffled.

Annber03 · May 5

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

My Dad was really current with music himself way into his adulthood despite being of an older generation that didn't grow up with rock music. He actually introduced ME to some artists and styles of music. We used to peruse record shops in Greenwich Village when I was a kid. We waited outside one to get the Stones' "Sticky Fingers" album when it first came out, LOL. My mother thought it was filthy and scolded us, but I later saw her trying to unzip the fly on the album cover, LOL. 😉

My dad was the same way - he worked as a radio DJ, and he sometimes worked at stations that played whatever songs and artists were current at the time, so he kind of HAD to keep up on new stuff as a result of that :p. But also, he'd just always been a music buff in general and loved music history and all that sort of thing, so to him, all the newer music was just a continuation of stuff he'd heard before when he was younger. He used to tell me about how a co-worker of his was surprised that he didn't have a problem with me or my sister listening to people like Marilyn Manson*, when he was getting blamed for being a bad influence on children in the wake of the Columbine shootings.

My dad just looked at him and was like, "I grew up on Black Sabbath and the Doors and Led Zeppelin and Alice Cooper. This isn't really anything new." That, and he also figured he raised both me and my sister well enough to where we wouldn't, y'know, listen to a shock rock musician over our parents :p. Which we didn't - I've always joked that my sister and I could never rebel with our musical tastes or the stuff we watched or read, 'cause my parents never put limitations on that stuff for us. They figured we were smart enough to understand the difference between fantasy and reality and if we had any questions about what we did listen to or watch or read, we'd just...talk to them. And they were right.

But yeah, music has always been a big way for my family to bond - my parents have liked things from my generation and later, and my sister and I have liked stuff from my parents' generation, and earlier. And even if and when my parents personallly weren't into some artist my sister or I liked (mainly because that particular artist just wasn't their thing), they were still fine with us listening to them.

*The ironic part is that I wasn't even a big Manson fan or anything. I did like a couple of his songs here and there, but I didn't really delve into his music much. Nowadays I'd have a hard time listening to him, but that's for reasons involving him that are not related to his music.

Regarding the Jerry Seinfeld quote up above, I've only ever seen bits and pieces of "Seinfeld" and I've never followed Jerry's comedy career in general, so I can't comment on that, but that quote alone makes me want to roll my eyes all the same. Oh, gee, another older guy complaining that young people today are too sensitive, gosh, I haven't heard that complaint before.

Edited May 5 by Annber03

TattleTeeny · May 5

I swear, people whom I've known since high school have turned so much more conservative (and other things) than I ever would have expected could possibly happen based on their "fuck the system" attitudes back then (granted, most of us probably didn't know much about the "system" when were were teenagers in the '80s. Meanwhile, my close friends and I scootch farther and farther into a hippie-like realm.

Anti-peeve, but related to @Annber03's post: I am going to see Alice in September! Whooooo! With Rob Zombie (my celebrity BF) and Ministry.

Edited May 5 by TattleTeeny

oliviabenson · May 5

Panhandling: leave people alone as they try to go around or eat somewhere. I barely have enough $ for me.

2 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

A friend from high school who I don’t keep in touch with, reached out through Facebook… she was asking me for $. Another ex friend reached out to sell me mlm shampoo. Like leave me alone…

peacheslatour · May 5

2 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

Men who trying to move in with me/ use me in whatever ways they can think of. Are there any decent guys left with a job or anything. Dating puddle is abysmal, it’s not even a pool…

I am not social services/ homeless shelter/ soup kitchen or your sugar mama. Pay for your damn self.

Also why they ask if I have kids? Or who I live with?

They're looking for a fuck maid. They want you to be their mother, eager beaver (ahem) cleaning service. Their childcare provider, their chef and laundress. Oh yeah, and keep a roof over their worthless heads.

ginger90 · May 5

Pet peeve: people who put a certain toxic energy out there, and then they are befuddled by the results.

supposebly · May 5

5 hours ago, Dimity said:

I didn't know, until recently, that here in Canada married women could not open a bank account in their own name (without hubbie's signature) until 1964 and couldn't apply for a credit card in their own name until 1974.

In Germany, that changed in 1958. Even though equality was in the 1949 constitution (West Germany). Still, women were only allowed to have jobs if it didn't interfere with their "marriage and parental duties" until an amendment went through in 1977 that got rid of all that. Until 1958, they weren't even allowed to have a driver's license without the permission of their husbands or father.

My parents got married in 1968. So, for 9 years, my mom would have had to ask my dad if she could get a job. I really wonder how that discussion went. She only started working part time around early 1990s, I think.

The right to vote for women: 1918.

Ohiopirate02 · May 5

6 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

I did watch Unfrosted last night, and I assure you the few parts that were funny had NOTHING to do with Jerry Seinfeld.

The same could be said about his eponymous TV show. The disparity of talent between him and Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Jason Alexander is glaring. They are the real MVPs of the series. Decades later I still recall and laugh about scenes featuring Elaine and George when I barely remember anything funny Jerry did (besides the rental car scenes). "Sponge-worthy," "he whipped it out" complete with perfectly timed breaths as she cleans her glasses, Elaine dancing, George and the bathroom book, George napping at work, etc.

Yeah No · May 5

5 hours ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

It is dangerous to idealize the past. For every good or, dare I say it, better thing that existed, there were loads of things that weren't. I'm disgusted by people who wish we still lived in the 1950s. You know, the decade that had segregation, blacklisting, restrictions on women's' rights, and electroshock and fucking lobotomies were still being performed!

The late Roger Ebert elaborates on this point much better than I can in his review of Pleasantville.

I grew up in a socially forward thinking bubble in the 1960s and 70s. My parents and I hung out in Greenwich Village. I saw the demonstrations and embraced the new social values along with them. When I idealize the past, THAT's the past I idealize. I have no memories of the 1950s. To people my age all that was "fuddy duddy" anyway. Old hat. We didn't even listen to the music of the 1950s. I never even heard some of it until I saw the movie "American Graffiti" and bought the soundtrack album. We were all about peace, love, equality and acceptance, all those lofty idealistic things. I was actually SHOCKED when I later found out that many people were not on board with those things despite how much I heard about them on TV and in the media. People typified by the character of "Archie Bunker" and the like. I was also shocked when I recently read that Gen X is less socially forward thinking than the Boomer generation. And we Boomers get all the crap when actually in many ways I don't think we deserve it.

Oh and @Dimity and @peacheslatour, I was also shocked when I found out that my mother, who was very much into women's equal rights, could not get her own credit card without my father's consent until 1974. It was a very big deal for her and I remember it well. I remember thinking we should have been beyond that by then. When I look at my own past I feel like I was set up to expect that a woman could do whatever she wanted, but unfortunately I did not have that experience when I came of age in the '70s. I envy young women today who have more opportunities than I had. And I NEVER would have thought I'd have to say that when I was young. There weren't even sports teams for girls when I was a kid. I would have been on one of them for sure. I had to fight to put together a volleyball team at my Jr. High school and we weren't allowed to do anything but play for our own enjoyment IF they felt like letting us use a court. Meanwhile I had to listen to those cigarette ads that said "You've come a long way baby" - Yeah, not long enough at that point!

peacheslatour · May 5

29 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I grew up in a socially forward thinking bubble in the 1960s and 70s. My parents and I hung out in Greenwich Village. I saw the demonstrations and embraced the new social values along with them. When I idealize the past, THAT's the past I idealize. I have no memories of the 1950s. To people my age all that was "fuddy duddy" anyway. Old hat. We didn't even listen to the music of the 1950s. I never even heard some of it until I saw the movie "American Graffiti" and bought the soundtrack album. We were all about peace, love, equality and acceptance, all those lofty idealistic things. I was actually SHOCKED when I later found out that many people were not on board with those things despite how much I heard about them on TV and in the media. People typified by the character of "Archie Bunker" and the like. I was also shocked when I recently read that Gen X is less socially forward thinking than the Boomer generation. And we Boomers get all the crap when actually in many ways I don't think we deserve it.

Oh and @Dimity and @peacheslatour, I was also shocked when I found out that my mother, who was very much into women's equal rights, could not get her own credit card without my father's consent until 1974. It was a very big deal for her and I remember it well. I remember thinking we should have been beyond that by then. When I look at my own past I feel like I was set up to expect that a woman could do whatever she wanted, but unfortunately I did not have that experience when I came of age in the '70s. I envy young women today who have more opportunities than I had. And I NEVER would have thought I'd have to say that when I was young. There weren't even sports teams for girls when I was a kid. I would have been on one of them for sure. I had to fight to put together a volleyball team at my Jr. High school and we weren't allowed to do anything but play for our own enjoyment IF they felt like letting us use a court. Meanwhile I had to listen to those cigarette ads that said "You've come a long way baby" - Yeah, not long enough at that point!

There was a small thing that blew my mind in Jr. High. My mom had her own successful kitchen and bath remodeling business. I never gave the financial end of it any thought but Mary Richards' best Friend Rhoda was getting married. My mom and I loved the Mary Tyler Moore show so we were going to see the wedding episode. Nope, my dad nixed it because he wanted to watch Monday Night fucking Football. So the next day my mom came home with another TV. It was smaller but it was a color TV. And I remember thinking. Wow, she just went out and made what in my family, was considered a major purchase, without consulting my dad. I was blown away by that.

oliviabenson · May 5

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Pet peeve: people who put a certain toxic energy out there, and then they are befuddled by the results.

Wonder who you talking about ginger lol

peacheslatour · May 5

3 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

Wonder who you talking about ginger lol

I think we're both in the dog house. Oh well.

Annber03 · May 5

55 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

There was a small thing that blew my mind in Jr. High. My mom had her own successful kitchen and bath remodeling business. I never gave the financial end of it any thought but Mary Richards' best Friend Rhoda was getting married. My mom and I loved the Mary Tyler Moore show so we were going to see the wedding episode. Nope, my dad nixed it because he wanted to watch Monday Night fucking Football. So the next day my mom came home with another TV. It was smaller but it was a color TV. And I remember thinking. Wow, she just went out and made what in my family, was considered a major purchase, without consulting my dad. I was blown away by that.

My mom used to tell me about how my grandma handled the finances in their home growing up, and my grandpa constantly begged her to get a color TV, and she refused for the longest time because the black and white TV they had was perfectly fine, and she handled the money, so that was that. They did eventually get one, but not because my grandpa had goaded her into it.

But yeah, I've taked before about how my mom always laughs at the way husbands and wives are portrayed on shows from the '50s and '60s, with the wife being Mirs. Homemaker and wearing dresses and the dad going off to work - she's like, "That was NOT my household growing up." My grandma did take care of the house, yes, but she did so because my grandpa was on the road driving trucks for al iving. And she still held down her own job and wore slacks every day. From what my mom told me, the only time her family ever really dressed up was for family gatherings or church.

And then with my parents themselves, they've talked about how, when I was a baby, my dad would be home with me during the day while my mom was at work, and my mom would be with me at night when my dad was at work. And my mom's told me about how her coworkers were shocked at the idea that my dad would stay home and take care of me, and would do the grocery shopping and things around the house and whatnot, that he was more than just a "babysitter". She was just like, "...yeah? He's her dad? That's kind of his job?"

It's just absolutely wild to me to hear these stories about women not being able to handle their own finances or get cards or things of that sort - and to realize that that stuff was happening when my mom was a kid/teenager. I know it was a thing, but it's still shocking to think about it being a reality all the same.

And then you think about how there are some people out and about nowadays who seem pretty eager to take us back to those days and no fucking thank you.

ginger90 · May 5

48 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I think we're both in the dog house. Oh well.

I tried to message you but it says you, “cannot receive messages “. So instead of what I would have sent, I’ll state this in general. There is a rule which states, “Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.”. I follow that rule.

Browncoat · May 5

Dammit. I bought a gift card without checking it first, and of course the code has already been scratched off. Not just the silver on top of the code, but parts of the code are actually not legible. It's completely wrecked, I'm out fifty bucks, and it's my own damn fault.

Edited May 5 by Browncoat

annzeepark914 · May 5

11 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Dammit. I bought a gift card without checking it first, and of course the code has already been scratched off. Not just the silver on top of the code, but parts of the code are actually not legible. It's completely wrecked, I'm out fifty bucks, and it's my own damn fault.

A nice woman gave me a Visa $50 debit card about 5 or 6 years ago (I'd given her a stationary bike, did not expect anything in return). I kept saving it for a special occasion, maybe a restaurant in DC, but we could never agree on *when*. I got the card out last week & it's good though 2020 🤬. I tried to call Visa but kept going round & round with the recorded voice thing. I'll try again tomorrow, see if they'll issue a new card.

@Browncoat Can you take the card back to where you bought it? Can't they check to see if the scratched out code indicates whether or not it's been already used? 🤞🍀 we're both not out $50.

Browncoat · May 6

11 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Can you take the card back to where you bought it? Can't they check to see if the scratched out code indicates whether or not it's been already used? 🤞🍀 we're both not out $50.

I can try -- it doesn't hurt to ask, but I suspect I'm screwed. I'm not sure I even still have the activation receipt. <sigh>

PRgal · May 6

"Simpler times" for someone my age would be the 80s and 90s. Want to watch a show but can't be home? Set that VCR. And if the VCR didn't work or you ran out of tape? Sorry, wait for the rerun, if it repeats during the summer hiatus. These days, if you forget to set that PVR/DVR, it'll be online the next day. Actually, unless you REALLY want to watch it that night, it's better NOT to tape it and just watch it when it's uploaded!

There was no internet until I was in high school and even then, it was dial up, so if we had a call, the line would be cut. And images took FOREVER to download! My first "personal" site was on Geocities. I posted random things. And yes, I was participating on message boards even then. I also had ICQ (and MSN messenger, too).

1980s and early 90s birthday parties were simple compared to what my son has. And probably more budget-friendly. I had a few parties at McDonald's and Pizza Hut and Chuck E Cheese, but many more were in homes. The food hasn't changed much - pizza, cake and candy - but I don't really see traditional games all that much anymore. Kids want trampoline parks and circuses themes. Or slime art. And they're SO EXPENSIVE, especially if the school has (official or unofficial) rules about inviting the entire class. Co-hosting is common because of this.

Anela · May 6

8 hours ago, ABay said:

The phrase "it was a simpler time" is BS. The times weren't simple, you were--you were a child.

I think this is one reason I have trouble focusing on reading now. When I was younger, my parents were responsible for almost everything. So, I could spend my time drawing, painting, reading, etc, with no problem. I think I have ADHD, but that apparently worsens under stress, and as it built more and more for me, I haven't been able to lose myself in books, or anything else - occasionally, a TV show, when I've cleared my head, dealt with anything going on, and am showered before 5am, so I'll make tea, sit in the dark, and finally start something.

I also used to do all that, before streaming, and the internet. I've always loved TV, I keep it running for company, it helps me to get things done, unless I *really* want some quiet. So all-access, all the time, to netflix, hulu, and others, may be making it worse. In the past, I would record something, or be ready to watch when it was on, and then I'd read a book in the bath, or in the garden. I wouldn't want to be without that access now, but I do wish that I could just enjoy a book again.

Anela · May 6

Talk of 2020, reminds me of when I did manage to relax and just read something: it was the newest Hunger Games book I'd pre-ordered (I think), because the libraries were shut down, and I just wanted something to look forward to. I ended up not reading it until the beginning of September, when we'd settled into a routine, and were used to what was happening. I'd be up all night, and then start reading in the early hours, until the sun started to come up.

It seems like 10pm-2am is the magic one for me trying to bake anything, and for reading, or getting into something I really want to watch, it's starting before dawn, when I'm not expected to deal with anything.

Anela · May 6

42 minutes ago, PRgal said:

"Simpler times" for someone my age would be the 80s and 90s. Want to watch a show but can't be home? Set that VCR. And if the VCR didn't work or you ran out of tape? Sorry, wait for the rerun, if it repeats during the summer hiatus. These days, if you forget to set that PVR/DVR, it'll be online the next day. Actually, unless you REALLY want to watch it that night, it's better NOT to tape it and just watch it when it's uploaded!

There was no internet until I was in high school and even then, it was dial up, so if we had a call, the line would be cut. And images took FOREVER to download! My first "personal" site was on Geocities. I posted random things. And yes, I was participating on message boards even then. I also had ICQ (and MSN messenger, too).

1980s and early 90s birthday parties were simple compared to what my son has. And probably more budget-friendly. I had a few parties at McDonald's and Pizza Hut and Chuck E Cheese, but many more were in homes. The food hasn't changed much - pizza, cake and candy - but I don't really see traditional games all that much anymore. Kids want trampoline parks and circuses themes. Or slime art. And they're SO EXPENSIVE, especially if the school has (official or unofficial) rules about inviting the entire class. Co-hosting is common because of this.

We're around the same age. I remember all of this. I saw one of those "you wouldn't have survived where they raised me" memes on twitter, and someone posted the AOL activity that we saw, as it connected to the internet.

It's wild hearing music from my teen years, on the oldies station, and it's just as wild hearing that some kids refer to those times as "the 1900's".

Anela · May 6

5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I swear, people whom I've known since high school have turned so much more conservative (and other things) than I ever would have expected could possibly happen based on their "fuck the system" attitudes back then (granted, most of us probably didn't know much about the "system" when were were teenagers in the '80s. Meanwhile, my close friends and I scootch farther and farther into a hippie-like realm.

Anti-peeve, but related to @Annber03's post: I am going to see Alice in September! Whooooo! With Rob Zombie (my celebrity BF) and Ministry.

I've managed to quote you twice, sorry. But I'm the same. my mum used to tell me that I should have been alive in the sixties, that I was her little flower child/earth mother/activist type. I don't know that I'd call myself an earth mother, I'm not into the current wellness that I see on social media, when it's blended with certain attitudes.

I was told that I'd grow more conservative as I got older, but that hasn't been the case. I've only moved further left. Things change, people adjust. I don't know how much more I can say, without tipping it into a political conversation, so I'll leave it at that.

I also remember my grandma telling me about their surviving the bombs in the war (in the London area). I wish I could remember everything she used to tell us, or that she'd written it all down. My mum was supposed to go to college, but her dad was very sick, and she was pushed out to work when she was sixteen. She got her job at the bank, because she was honest enough to tell them that she didn't want the job. My grandparents raised chickens, grew food. Grandad was a jeweller, and he once made something that grandma said was for the royal family, that she carried it in a brown paper bag, on the train, to deliver it, so it wouldn't draw attention. I can't remember what it was, but my mum was little, and she went with her. I think of things like that, but they never had enough money.

I'm talking too much, and haven't had my tea. I'm still feeling really "off".

Annber03 · May 6

12 minutes ago, Anela said:

my mum used to tell me that I should have been alive in the sixties, that I was her little flower child/earth mother/activist type. I don't know that I'd call myself an earth mother, I'm not into the current wellness that I see on social media, when it's blended with certain attitudes.

My parents have said the same thing about me, that I must've had some kind of past life or something in the '60s :p. Like you, I don't geti into the new age type stuff and whatnot, but yeah, I can see where aspects of myself would've fit in nicely in that time period, for sure.

Quote

I was told that I'd grow more conservative as I got older, but that hasn't been the case. I've only moved further left. Things change, people adjust. I don't know how much more I can say, without tipping it into a political conversation, so I'll leave it at that.

Same on all of this, too.

33 minutes ago, Anela said:

It's wild hearing music from my teen years, on the oldies station, and it's just as wild hearing that some kids refer to those times as "the 1900's".

I am not ready for stuff from the year 2000 to be turning 25 years old next year. I was in high school then. That kind of freaks me out :p.

Yeah No · May 6

5 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I think we're both in the dog house. Oh well.

I thought I was. I always think it's me. My history with "mean girls" makes me paranoid about stuff like that because back in those days it was always me.

Anela · May 6

26 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I thought I was. I always think it's me. My history with "mean girls" makes me paranoid about stuff like that because back in those days it was always me.

Same here. I didn't think about it this time, because I haven't been here.

emma675 · May 6

18 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Pet peeve: people who put a certain toxic energy out there, and then they are befuddled by the results.

Preach! I have a friend who is actually a really sweet lady but she's had some bad luck lately (and it's not even horrible bad luck, just a few things didn't go her way) and it has made her outlook just miserable. She's short with people, she's constantly moaning about the state of her life (which isn't bad, especially compared with so many others), and she's just not enjoyable to be around right now. But she's shocked when her rudeness and bad attitude comes back around from people she interacts with. I've started keeping my distance from her because her miserable-ness wears me out. I'm not even attempting to try and help her out, she just wants to be miserable for now. Which is her right, I suppose. But it's my right to choose not to be around her.

Dimity · May 6

17 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I've started keeping my distance from her because her miserable-ness wears me out.

My best friend from high school, who was also my maid of honour, started turning into, frankly, a miserable bitch somewhere in her middle 20s and it went downhill from there. For her molehills became mountains and every conversation with her became an ordeal. Eventually we drifted apart. Fast forward to our recent high school reunion. She had not changed a bit with age. If anything she's worse. I didn't give her my email or ph number, I just don't need constant negativity in my life.

Yeah No · May 6

10 hours ago, Anela said:

Same here. I didn't think about it this time, because I haven't been here.

I just caught up elsewhere and now I'm pretty sure it's not me, LOL.

4 minutes ago, Dimity said:

My best friend from high school, who was also my maid of honour, started turning into, frankly, a miserable bitch somewhere in her middle 20s and it went downhill from there. For her molehills became mountains and every conversation with her became an ordeal. Eventually we drifted apart. Fast forward to our recent high school reunion. She had not changed a bit with age. If anything she's worse. I didn't give her my email or ph number, I just don't need constant negativity in my life.

I've had similar stuff happen. People can change. My best childhood friend did something like that to me. I've had a history of friends either dying or going nuts and sometimes both! One of my best friends for over 20 years started ghosting me just around the time my father died over the pandemic. It was very strange, we were very close and she knew my Dad, my husband, his sister and even other friends of mine.

Suddenly out of nowhere she accused me of being judgmental about a relationship she had with a man that was in an "open relationship" with a long time girlfriend. Months before this she came to me in crisis after seeing him for a while, telling me she didn't think she could handle sharing him with another woman. I told her she should do whatever made her happy either way. I never judged her or told her to break up with him. That's not my way and I didn't think it was my place to say that anyway. I was just as happy if he made her happy. She's an older woman without many relationship prospects and he seemed like a really neat guy. It wasn't until the last phone conversation I had with her when I asked her why she was so scarce that she told me she didn't like it that I was judgmental. I couldn't believe she would accuse me of that, it was insane!

Anyway I let it go but didn't hear from her or try to contact her for months until her birthday when I texted her with birthday wishes. She texted me back as if nothing ever happened, telling me she missed me and would "call and see me soon", etc. She even asked me how my husband was, etc., and said, "Love you"! She was still liking all our posts on Facebook too. Very strange. Of course she did also mention that the little tumor in her brain that had stopped growing a few years before had started growing again. I hate to say it but I suspect that might be the cause of all of this. It's just so unthinkable that she would act this way if not for something medical like that changing her mental state. At least that's what I'm choosing to believe because nothing else makes any sense. I'm mostly over it now but it still hurts sometimes. I don't have a lot of really good friends left.

emma675 · May 6

33 minutes ago, Dimity said:

For her molehills became mountains and every conversation with her became an ordeal.

This is exactly what I'm dealing with! My friend's problems are THE WORST problems anyone has ever faced in the history of the world, if you listen to her. It's exhausting. I'd love to tell her that her negativity attracts negative people, but I'm just keeping my distance for now.

Quof · May 6

I recently heard my brother's partner describe him as "the most pessimistic person I have ever met", and I thought "Girl, have you met his mother???" They have both been fretting, worrying little old women (yes, my brother), scared of their own shadows, as long as I have known them. Everything is awful, the sky is falling, doomsday is nigh....

Then they wonder why I don't tell them anything about my life "Um, because you would tell me how dangerous is it?"

JustHereForFood · May 6

13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I thought I was. I always think it's me. My history with "mean girls" makes me paranoid about stuff like that because back in those days it was always me.

I'm similar, I usually assume people who are intentionally vague are talking about me, even if it doesn't make much sense. Is that a sign of being self-centered for me? Maybe 😅.

I hope I don't start doing the same, posting some "you know who you are" vague complaints. But I usually either vent to my mom who is the only one still willing to listen to my long rants, or I come to complain here and I've never felt like I wanted to complain about the posters here, you are all much nicer than elsewhere.

Ohiopirate02 · May 6

38 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

I'm similar, I usually assume people who are intentionally vague are talking about me, even if it doesn't make much sense. Is that a sign of being self-centered for me? Maybe 😅.

I hope I don't start doing the same, posting some "you know who you are" vague complaints. But I usually either vent to my mom who is the only one still willing to listen to my long rants, or I come to complain here and I've never felt like I wanted to complain about the posters here, you are all much nicer than elsewhere.

Just remember what I have learned living in a small Southern town, always be careful about who you vent to because you never know if that person is kin to whomever you are complaining about. You got to create silos so you can run your mouth without anyone being able to do the math. So, you don't ever complain about other posters on here, you got to go to another website or in person to vent.

peacheslatour · May 6

I was never bullied or screwed over by mean girls. I wasn't a mean girl myself either. I've always felt like I had a tough older brother standing behind me. Maybe he wasn't as make believe as I thought.

Anela · May 6

4 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

I'm similar, I usually assume people who are intentionally vague are talking about me, even if it doesn't make much sense. Is that a sign of being self-centered for me? Maybe 😅.

I hope I don't start doing the same, posting some "you know who you are" vague complaints. But I usually either vent to my mom who is the only one still willing to listen to my long rants, or I come to complain here and I've never felt like I wanted to complain about the posters here, you are all much nicer than elsewhere.

For me, it’s more that I’ve had that happen, when I hadn’t done anything. I was harassed by someone, and so were friends, it’s a long story. But I’ve also had that happen a few times with former friends, who attacked me. I just don’t trust anyone who acts like they’re my best friend, right away, and then turns around and is vicious. this one woman apologized to me, after her husband lost his daughter to violence. She’d ditched me, telling me that my life was too much drama for her, when I was in the thick of it.

I’m hardly ever happy, for a reason. And there will always be people who will judge, so I don’t really care anymore. It’s probably the main thing that would have me thinking that vague judgements could be about something I’ve said.

But I don’t vague-book. If something’s up, I might not say something right away, but I will say something. I’ve also always gone by the rule I learned on another forum: venting threads are not to be used against fellow posters. Even though the site that originated on, for me, had moderators allowing posters to vilify others who also posted on a private site, after friends had been banned. They banned chit chat in the off-topic thread, where people had been talking like we do, for years. When posters complained, they said “if you don’t like it, make your own site!” So a friend did, and the mods didn’t like it. when they were letting people insult my friends, I got to remind them of their own rules.

Edited May 6 by Anela

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