Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[PRgal]

5 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

That's pretty similar to my outlook. I've been extremely depressed and dealt with family who did not want to hear a peep about. My dad's favorite question to ask is "how are you?" But to this day I don't feel good when I hear it because he'd chirpily ask how are you when he KNEW how horrible a place I was in when I was younger. If you don't truly care, don't ask, at least not constantly. And don't pretend you don't know what a dark hole I'm in if that's my life at that point. As far as more formal interactions, I don't expect random people to want to know about my problems. My answer is good, and you. But others are always welcome to come to me with theirs. HOWEVER, as you said, it is hard when you're around people who don't seem to want to help themselves.

I don't believe in going around telling others to smile and ignoring their pain. But reading law of attraction books were life changing for me, maybe life saving. It's why I want others to experience the changes I experienced. It's not a 'I don't care about your feelings. Suck it up buttercup." If your idea of being positive is some dopey Pollyanna who has no idea what clinical depression is, that's not where I come from. My sister for example is young, healthy, pretty, smart, successful, has lots of friends, our parents should still be around for many years to come, etc. But she often just seems doom and gloom. I've told her to get help, but she still hasn't. I don't know if it's a genetic component, because even though it's a loa no-no to say, we are both sensitive souls and have to work at being happy. I do the work with self-help books, gratitude lists, trying to listen to uplifting music, therapy, she does not. 

My mother on the other hand has stuff to be depressed about. She can't walk and spends much of her days asleep or in pain. She's the one with the better attitude. She's grateful to be alive. A lot of people who get cancer don't make it. She's happy she has a husband and two daughters. She's appreciative of her home and small pleasures. A chat with a friend on the phone makes her day.  

I did start feeling more depressed again during covid, and and still working on being happier. I think a big part of it is the fact depression can be contagious, and I'm still more isolated. I went from being in an office setting where there was often laughter throughout the day with coworkers and often going to the dance studio afterwards to working remotely and having most of my interactions with family/friends who were mostly either physically and/or mentally not well.

If it's someone who refuses to entertain the thought they may have a nice life, refuses therapy, self-help books, antidepressants, there's only so much I can do. I also won't date someone like that because it's enough working on my own issues. 

So true, and while I get some of it a degree, since thin is the ideal, it's so freaking annoying how people who are overweight, diabetic, have all sorts of issues food shame me. I did have an eating disorder, but that was very many years ago. I eat plenty now, and I try to make most of it healthy but already indulge in goodies more than I should. (Just ate two big cookies.) Don't tell me I am too strict if I don't want to live on fast food and actually love fruits and vegetables. 

Are you sure those women mean it in a negative way? I'm a tall lady with a small bone structure. I often get compliments on my hands and how they're so pretty and delicate, slender figures, perfect nail beds, most gorgeous hands, etc. I've gotten the odd foot compliment, but I think these people must not be looking closely enough. lol I'm tall so my feet were never the cutest, and I've fractured some toes. They never went to normal. :( I always envy my friends who have petite, pretty feet. I am self-conscious of what I consider my man feet. lol 

But when your feet are so petite that you can’t find shoes, then it’s no fun.  A woman looked shocked and perhaps grossed out when I told her my feet are too small for size (US) 5 at times!  

[theredhead77]

Peeve: websites, especially app/mobile versions, that don't give you the option to see your password as you type it in.

[RealHousewife]

5 hours ago, PRgal said:

But when your feet are so petite that you can’t find shoes, then it’s no fun.  A woman looked shocked and perhaps grossed out when I told her my feet are too small for size (US) 5 at times!  

Yeah, I've experienced that with clothing in some stores. I'm not even the skinniest these days, it's the vanity sizing that makes it difficult. I experience this mostly with work clothes. Going out clothes are usually made for younger, thinner bodies. And being taller also makes it trickier. I see so many cute dresses that would look great if I were 5'2", but at 5'7", I just feel way too exposed. 

I'm sorry if anyone acted grossed out! That's nuts. I'm sure your feet are perfectly lovely and just go with your petite body. That's my biggest issue with my own feet. They're not huge, they just don't go with the rest of me. My legs are really thin, and then I have sausage toes. lol 

[peacheslatour]

5 hours ago, PRgal said:

But when your feet are so petite that you can’t find shoes, then it’s no fun.  A woman looked shocked and perhaps grossed out when I told her my feet are too small for size (US) 5 at times!  

I have the same problem. I haven't purchased new shoes in years. Good thing I don't go out very much.

[KittyMom4]

22 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Yeah, I've experienced that with clothing in some stores. I'm not even the skinniest these days, it's the vanity sizing that makes it difficult. I experience this mostly with work clothes. Going out clothes are usually made for younger, thinner bodies. And being taller also makes it trickier. I see so many cute dresses that would look great if I were 5'2", but at 5'7", I just feel way too exposed. 

I have long said that clothing designs are for ages 16-25 and 65-80. The in-between years are left to piecemeal an outfit together hoping not to look like I'm trying to relive my younger days or that I'm ready for the nursing home. Can't shorts fall in between my knees and my crotch? Can't jeans have a waist line that falls between my diaphragm and my pubic bone? Are there shirts with a feminine cut that don't stop at my belly button? I have no problem dressing my age (55 btw) but give me something to work with! 

[Anela]

My left eye has been twitching for the last few days, so I finally decided to try a video game I've had downloaded for over a year (I got it for free): Among Us. I got into it, and my eye stopped twitching, but ten minutes after closing out of it, the twitch is back. 

Edited June 27, 2022 by Anela

[theredhead77]

7 hours ago, BexKeps said:

Are there shirts with a feminine cut that don't stop at my belly button?

I wish clothing designers realized that there is an entire demographic who want the bottom half of that super cute top.

[annzeepark914]

16 hours ago, PRgal said:

But when your feet are so petite that you can’t find shoes, then it’s no fun.  A woman looked shocked and perhaps grossed out when I told her my feet are too small for size (US) 5 at times!  

Go online. I wear either 5.5 or 6M and once I started looking online, I've found a lot of shoes. Now, most of the shoes I've ordered in the past few years have been espadrilles from Tom's. But before that, I would find flats, wedges, etc.

[PRgal]

8 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Go online. I wear either 5.5 or 6M and once I started looking online, I've found a lot of shoes. Now, most of the shoes I've ordered in the past few years have been espadrilles from Tom's. But before that, I would find flats, wedges, etc.

I'm smaller than that!  As in, some 5s are too big.  I've tried.  Many times.  And I have an extensive collection I can't wear since I was too lazy to return and am not even thinking about sending it to consignment they'd likely end up sitting at that store anyway.

[peacheslatour]

11 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Go online. I wear either 5.5 or 6M and once I started looking online, I've found a lot of shoes. Now, most of the shoes I've ordered in the past few years have been espadrilles from Tom's. But before that, I would find flats, wedges, etc.

I have had decent luck with Maryland Square in the past but not recently.

[RealHousewife]

23 hours ago, BexKeps said:

I have long said that clothing designs are for ages 16-25 and 65-80. The in-between years are left to piecemeal an outfit together hoping not to look like I'm trying to relive my younger days or that I'm ready for the nursing home. Can't shorts fall in between my knees and my crotch? Can't jeans have a waist line that falls between my diaphragm and my pubic bone? Are there shirts with a feminine cut that don't stop at my belly button? I have no problem dressing my age (55 btw) but give me something to work with! 

You hit the nail on the head. If you're super young and mostly wear jeans or clubbing attire, lots of options for you. If you're at a stage in life where comfort is priority and you just want baggy and cozy, tons of options for you.

Those of us who are still young and working but don't need the most conservative attire have to look more to find stuff, at least I do. It's always either too short, too baggy on me, too boring, too businesslike, etc. I have to dig for stuff that's fun, flattering, and appropriate to wear if I need to go to the office. When Francesca's was new, I was several years younger, and I swear their dresses started out somewhat longer too. It was my store for awhile. But I've gotten older, and their clothes have gotten smaller. They barely have anything longer there anymore.

Basically, I want more stores in between Forever 21 and Talbots. Anthropologie makes some beautiful clothes, but even a lot of their stuff is either too long/baggy or mini/flashy. 

[KittyMom4]

38 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Those of us who are still young and working but don't need the most conservative attire have to look more to find stuff, at least I do

Yep! I work in an office where business casual is the norm, my usual outfit is a skirt and blouse or pants and blouse. Over the last 15 years it has been harder and harder to find office appropriate pieces because the skirts & shirts have become smaller and tighter and somewhere along the line someone decided pants needed to be skin-tight to the ankle. 

Shopping in the 'womens' section is frumpy, baggy clothing in hideous colors, shopping in the 'juniors' is ripped jeans, belly shirts and mini skirts with loud patterns.  Why can't there be a section for "adult business wear"? I used to be able to find some nice pieces at Gap or Banana Republic, but they seem to be targeting the younger crowd now. 

I'm not looking for outfits or my followers or to post on insta, I just want an outfit that fits well and looks appropriate in the office or out to dinner. 

[partofme]

1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

Those of us who are still young and working but don't need the most conservative attire have to look more to find stuff, at least I do. It's always either too short, too baggy on me, too boring, too businesslike, etc. I have to dig for stuff that's fun, flattering, and appropriate to wear if I need to go to the office.

Pre-Covid, Ann Taylor Loft was my store, they had non-baggy fashionable work dresses and non-baggy tops that I could wear with jeans, but now everything on their website is baggy.  The only upside is I'm still able to work from home for now so I don't necessarily need new clothes.  These days the only place I can find clothes I like is on ebay, old new with tags stuff from places I used to shop like Loft and Banana Republic, if I had to go into the office there are several dresses there that I would scoop up so fast, but since I'm wfh at the moment I stop myself from purchasing.

Edited June 28, 2022 by partofme

[RealHousewife]

28 minutes ago, partofme said:

Pre-Covid, Ann Taylor Loft was my store, they had non-baggy fashionable work dresses and non-baggy tops that I could wear with jeans, but now everything on their website is baggy.  The only upside is I'm still able to work from home for now so I don't necessarily need new clothes.  These days the only place I can find clothes I like is on ebay, old new with tags stuff from places I used to shop like Loft and Banana Republic, if I had to go into the office there are several dresses there that I would scoop up so fast, but since I'm wfh at the moment I stop myself from purchasing.

Loft is literally the first place I'd think of for work clothes. Their clothes are modest and feminine. I loved Banana, but the one near me unfortunately closed. :(

[Wiendish Fitch]

On 6/26/2022 at 3:06 PM, Suzn said:

I don't think anyone should be commenting on what other people eat. Period.  It's nobody's business what I eat or what you eat.  This is the same regardless of whether a person is thin or fat.  The information on calories and nutrition  is readily available.  If someone is not following the eating "rules" that you do, there may be reasons you don't/can't understand.

To me, it's immaterial if one lives on a diet of kale or candy. Just let me eat what I want.

15 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Loft is literally the first place I'd think of for work clothes. Their clothes are modest and feminine. I loved Banana, but the one near me unfortunately closed. :(

I love Loft! They have the greatest clearance section I know, and they're the only store that sells capri pants that fit me (I'm not big, but my post-pandemic shape is very different from my pre-pandemic one).

[PRgal]

2 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Loft is literally the first place I'd think of for work clothes. Their clothes are modest and feminine. I loved Banana, but the one near me unfortunately closed. :(

Both Ann Taylor and Loft pulled out of Canada thanks (partly) to the pandemic.  They were all in malls, and, you know, people didn't go.  Thank goodness it's available online.  

[RealHousewife]

13 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Both Ann Taylor and Loft pulled out of Canada thanks (partly) to the pandemic.  They were all in malls, and, you know, people didn't go.  Thank goodness it's available online.  

The Ann Taylor near me closed too. Shopping used to be so much funner. 

[theredhead77]

My wardrobe is slowly starting to become more Costco clothing section and less everywhere else. I just picked up two pairs of lounge capris and another set of PJs.

[Yeah No]

On 6/10/2022 at 5:32 PM, SusanM said:

I have friends who get really annoyed when someone accuses the boomers of ruining things for the younger generation and acting like our generation had it all and none of us struggled.  Of course that's demonstrably false, but, and it's a big but - most boomers didn't have to take on enormous debt loads just to get a degree that didn't get them a decent job and even with a decent job didn't earn them enough to live on their own.  I'm glad this thread reminded me of that.

I'm waaaay behind on this thread, but this jumped out at me.  Generalizations about boomers and how good we all had it compared with later generations is one of my personal pet peeves.  Maybe a lot of this was true about earlier boomers, but that was SO not true of me and many of my friends born in the late 50s and later.  We came of age during double digit inflation and interest rates.  Because there was so much competition for entry level jobs by the time we came along (thanks so so many people having been born right before us) it was extremely difficult to start out in a career and make any decent money unless you had connections and it's wrong to assume that all boomers had connections.  Only upper middle class kids had parents with connections and other advantages because of their class status.  Someone like me without connections pretty much had to have a degree and experience in exactly what companies were looking for or forget it.  The assumptions may have been true about upper middle class and richer boomers graduating college 1980 or after, but not the rest of us.  Many of my middle and lower middle class friends struggled just to get a toe hold in a career and have spent many decades riding the ups and downs of recessions and boom and bust periods, often not coming out ahead and just basically living from hand to mouth.  Also, it is often forgotten that women back in the day had it tougher getting paid what they were worth. Fewer careers were all that accepting of women and we often ended up in the usual "pink collar" jobs that asked a lot but paid crap compared to what men made.  Even jobs requiring all sorts of education, as I found out.  Despite current perception, which forgets history, and what you read I do think young women today have it much easier.

BTW, I had crippling student loan debt that I didn't pay off for almost 14 years because I had to keep getting hardship deferrals.  My parents didn't have much to give me and somehow because I didn't have siblings I didn't get much in the way of financial aid.  I grew up in NYC where the cost of living was always extremely high so I started out sharing apartments with 3 people myself, dragging furniture in off the street.  I could have gone to a city or state college which would have been cheaper, but in the bad old days in the Bronx it was literally worth your life to get on the subway and I didn't have the money to go away to school and pay for room and board so that left only a few good choices for someone with my good grades from a nationally known public high school you had to pass a test to get into. 

I could go on but I was by far not the only person I knew in a similar financial situation in those days.  Sure, I knew people whose parents had money and financed them all through college and set them up in life in general but those people were not in the majority by any means.  I don't know where these myths started but most of us were of humbler means than that and it is unfair to assume we all had it so good compared too young generations today.  I put the amount of my student loan in a cost of living calculator and found out that it would be worth about $40,000 in todays money, which is about average for student loan debt owed by today's graduates.  I personally think those calculators are conservative in their estimates so what I owed is probably more in today's money.  And for someone like me who was not making that much money that was a fortune that cost me something like $350 in today's money per month to pay off for over a decade.  And no one felt sorry for me or considered giving me student loan forgiveness.  If I didn't make enough money it was seen as "my fault".  But by today's standards I was disadvantaged in many ways.  But don't get me started on that.....

Anyway, I could go on because there's SO much more, but I'll stop here.

[Blergh]

I'm just putting this out there because I think this needs to be said at some point:

If one is going to plea/complain about others judging one for being in a different demographic instead of as an individual, one should do one's best to resist all temptation to judge others for being in different demographics instead of as individuals because it not only makes one look hypocritical but only the most insecure and/or self-loathing in other groups will agree with one's disses against their own demographic.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Blergh said:

I'm just putting this out there because I think this needs to be said at some point:

If one is going to plea/complain about others judging one for being in a different demographic instead of as an individual, one should do one's best to resist all temptation to judge others for being in different demographics instead of as individuals because it not only makes one look hypocritical but only the most insecure and/or self-loathing in other groups will agree with one's disses against their own demographic.

I wasn't dissing any demographic, judging anyone, and I am not a hypocrite, and with all the SHIT I've been handed throughout my life despite all my effort I especially don't think I deserve to be told that. 

It is true of any generation that privilege, money and connections will get you everywhere, not just true of boomers.  My point was that not all boomers came from that kind of wealth or privilege and if any boomers with OR without such advantages had it easier or were "lucky" it was certainly not true across the board for me and many people I've known.   I said that maybe these perceptions were true of a certain segment of boomers but that's always true of any generation, not just mine.  It certainly wasn't written to "dis" anyone.  I brought this out to challenge the gross overgeneralizations about boomers that I've seen written about everywhere and to show that many of us didn't have things all that easy by today's standards.  And frankly I am sick and tired of hearing those overgeneralizations given my own personal experience and those of many of my peers.

Edited June 29, 2022 by Yeah No

[TattleTeeny]

On 6/26/2022 at 3:52 PM, PRgal said:

Exactly.  And it's also funny that it's typically larger people who make comments on how I (and other thinner) people eat.  They also comment on our sizes and how "thin" we are.  But if we said anything about them, OH NO, THAT IS BAD!!!  Goes both ways, people.  And that's all I'm going to say, since we're not really supposed to talk about sizes.

Reminds me of the "knowing" looks certain people in my old office would give each other when I would decline a piece of stupid birthday cake. I just don't generally like cake, especially whatever bland, ubiquitous work-birthday style it always was.

Quote

That reminds me of how, all my life, people (females) have felt free to make comments re: my small feet and small hands. I have small bones...can't help it. But you can imagine the reaction if I commented on their big feet and big hands. 

My friends just kind of laugh at my stupid feet and make dumb jokes like, "Is there a little kid here somewhere?" if my shoes are lying around (sneakers especially)! And my sister, who is way taller than I am and, of course -- as I have had to remind her --  needs larger feet in order to not fall over!

Edited June 29, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[JTMacc99]

2 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Reminds me of the "knowing" looks certain people in my old office would give each other when I would decline a piece of stupid birthday cake. I just don't generally like cake, especially whatever bland, ubiquitous work-birthday style it always was.

[Yeah No]

For anyone that's interested, this article from the Washington Post tells the story of a few Baby Boomers and how the pandemic and other events across their working lives have hurt them in saving enough money for retirement.  A shocking number of baby boomers heading into retirement don't have enough money to carry them through their lives.  All the reasons for this situation are perfectly outlined in this article.  It was written in 2020 but correctly predicts that the pandemic will force them into retirement or semi-retirement, and many of us really needed those incomes.  When people complain that boomers won't retire, they don't realize that most of them are working because they need to, pure and simple, because the retirement system in this country failed them, in many cases despite their best efforts.  I personally know of 4 people that were forced into an early retirement (before age 66) because of the pandemic.  One of them is my husband, my best friend, my husband's sister and ME.  And this is just the latest financial sucker punch we've had to deal with.  The article goes into the others.  One thing it doesn't bring out is how many baby boomers sacrificed their retirement savings in order to have money to spend on their kids.  This can't be overemphasized - I know of many parents that did that.  And to tie this into pet peeves of mine, now they're paying the price for it and being insulted to boot.

[theredhead77]

27 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

One thing it doesn't bring out is how many baby boomers sacrificed their retirement savings in order to have money to spend on their kids.  This can't be overemphasized - I know of many parents that did that.  And to tie this into pet peeves of mine, now they're paying the price for it and being insulted to boot.

If it makes you feel better, their kids won't have money to retire either, and the chances of even a miniscule amount of Social Security being available to us are slim to none.

[Yeah No]

12 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

If it makes you feel better, their kids won't have money to retire either, and the chances of even a miniscule amount of Social Security being available to us are slim to none.

It doesn't make me feel better.  In my case "misery doesn't love company".  And Social Security is supposed to run out of reserves in 2034 when I am 76, so if I hopefully live to be that age it will impact me and many people in my generation too.

[TattleTeeny]

Ugggghhhh, this is a work peeve right now, but could apply in various scenarios: If you ask me to do something that is somewhat urgent, then don't disappear unless you know I won't have any questions. For instance, I am supposed to be making sure some links in a digital job are updated and going to the correct spots. But! Not one is active. Is it the wrong file? Maybe--I wouldn't know because no one is answering emails/IMs.

[Blergh]

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I wasn't dissing any demographic, judging anyone, and I am not a hypocrite, and with all the SHIT I've been handed throughout my life despite all my effort I especially don't think I deserve to be told that. 

It is true of any generation that privilege, money and connections will get you everywhere, not just true of boomers.  My point was that not all boomers came from that kind of wealth or privilege and if any boomers with OR without such advantages had it easier or were "lucky" it was certainly not true across the board for me and many people I've known.   I said that maybe these perceptions were true of a certain segment of boomers but that's always true of any generation, not just mine.  It certainly wasn't written to "dis" anyone.  I brought this out to challenge the gross overgeneralizations about boomers that I've seen written about everywhere and to show that many of us didn't have things all that easy by today's standards.  And frankly I am sick and tired of hearing those overgeneralizations given my own personal experience and those of many of my peers.

Greetings @Yeah No:

For whatever it's worth, I was NOT responding to any part of your earlier posts or to you specifically when I said what I said. I opened my post by saying 'I'm putting this out there because I think this needs to be said at some point' which meant I was making an observation about a human foible that folks who do it would best consider trying to minimize if not cease their participation.

[Cloud9Shopper]

I’m still stuck in inefficient meetings at work! Does anyone else have this issue? I posted about it a couple months ago too but it’s still going on.

My team is scheduled for a daily stand-up every morning that is meant for a check in and to say what we are working on, plus for my boss to give any updates on work-relevant issues. It’s supposed to be 15 minutes but it feels like it drags on because my boss always wants to make small talk and ask what people are reading or watching or if anyone has anything fun planned. Cue several minutes (10+) of conversation about camping, oil changes, gardens, and concerts or whatever else people are fascinated by. By the time we finish the small talk and everyone chimes in on work updates (and on top of that some people give long spiels of opinions on what they’re working on or what my boss updates us on), it’s more at the 20-25 minute mark. 

I’m not saying I don’t like small talk or that there’s no place for it at work. But I think when you say it’s a short, work-related meeting that you need to keep it that way and not let everyone ramble on about their lives for several minutes. We do have occasional coffee chats within our immediate team and the larger department group for the social stuff. Save the social chat for that, or our fun channel on Slack. I just think it’s so rude to waste time on 10+ minutes personal chit chat when that’s not the purpose of the meeting, or hog the floor so you can wax poetic about all the issues with your project. 

Edited June 30, 2022 by Cloud9Shopper

[PRgal]

On 6/29/2022 at 9:12 AM, Yeah No said:

I wasn't dissing any demographic, judging anyone, and I am not a hypocrite, and with all the SHIT I've been handed throughout my life despite all my effort I especially don't think I deserve to be told that. 

It is true of any generation that privilege, money and connections will get you everywhere, not just true of boomers.  My point was that not all boomers came from that kind of wealth or privilege and if any boomers with OR without such advantages had it easier or were "lucky" it was certainly not true across the board for me and many people I've known.   I said that maybe these perceptions were true of a certain segment of boomers but that's always true of any generation, not just mine.  It certainly wasn't written to "dis" anyone.  I brought this out to challenge the gross overgeneralizations about boomers that I've seen written about everywhere and to show that many of us didn't have things all that easy by today's standards.  And frankly I am sick and tired of hearing those overgeneralizations given my own personal experience and those of many of my peers.

Some people (boomers, anyway) who complain actually didn't come from privilege.  My mom grew up lower middle class and my dad was working class (I suppose that's the same thing?  But my mom had a slight advantage - they had their own place, while my dad and his family (four kids plus parents and (I think) one grandparent) didn't get their own place until he was at least in middle school.  They had a shared space before that, and the unit itself wasn't huge) in post-WWII Hong Kong.  They came into privilege as adults, thanks to a good education, even in a new country, and was able to give me the kind of solidly middle/upper middle class lifestyle I have only known.  They still say things about "kids" (this includes 30 and 40-somethings, not just teens and 20-somethings) being too casual/lazy.  They also say these "kids" are too casual, rude, etc, etc...I kind of/sort of agree - I mean, I'm no fan of being called "Cynthia" by my friends' children, preferring Ms./Mrs. or "Auntie" if I am a close friend...

[theredhead77]

Peeve: password reset links that take their sweet time getting to you.

[bilgistic]

This is me and passwords.

"If the 'Forgot your password' thing was a person"

[MargeGunderson]

2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I’m still stuck in inefficient meetings at work! Does anyone else have this issue? I posted about it a couple months ago too but it’s still going on.

My team is scheduled for a daily stand-up every morning that is meant for a check in and to say what we are working on, plus for my boss to give any updates on work-relevant issues. It’s supposed to be 15 minutes but it feels like it drags on because my boss always wants to make small talk and ask what people are reading or watching or if anyone has anything fun planned. Cue several minutes (10+) of conversation about camping, oil changes, gardens, and concerts or whatever else people are fascinated by. By the time we finish the small talk and everyone chimes in on work updates (and on top of that some people give long spiels of opinions on what they’re working on or what my boss updates us on), it’s more at the 20-25 minute mark. 

I’m not saying I don’t like small talk or that there’s no place for it at work. But I think when you say it’s a short, work-related meeting that you need to keep it that way and not let everyone ramble on about their lives for several minutes. We do have occasional coffee chats within our immediate team and the larger department group for the social stuff. Save the social chat for that, or our fun channel on Slack. I just think it’s so rude to waste time on 10+ minutes personal chit chat when that’s not the purpose of the meeting, or hog the floor so you can wax poetic about all the issues with your project. 

Yeah, daily stand ups should be all business. That would drive me batty, and I have no problem chatting with coworkers at any other time. You have my sympathy!

[Katy M]

2 hours ago, PRgal said:

They also say these "kids" are too casual, rude, etc, etc...I kind of/sort of agree - I mean, I'm no fan of being called "Cynthia" by my friends' children, preferring Ms./Mrs. or "Auntie" if I am a close friend...

To this day, I avoid calling a friend's parents anything.  

[RealHousewife]

3 minutes ago, Katy M said:

To this day, I avoid calling a friend's parents anything.  

lol, it's tricky finding the right way to greet someone. Using only a first name can sound very casual. Mr. or Mrs. sounds so formal. Auntie and Uncle only work if you're actually family or so close you're like family. 

[PRgal]

2 hours ago, Katy M said:

To this day, I avoid calling a friend's parents anything.  

Do you say "Friend's Name's Mom/Dad?"  I'm pretty sure my son's friends will call me that!

[Angeltoes]

I think there should be a line of respect between adults and kids as far as how adults should be addressed.  My grandkids have been raised to address their friends' parents  as Mr/Miss/Mrs FirstName.  Their Mom and Dad's friends are Uncle or Aunt.  This seems to suffice and no adult has ever objected.

I work with a platoon of "young" people.  I'm 62 and they're all under 30.  There isn't a one of them that doesn't say "like" every other word.  As in:  "I like watched like this really like cool movie like last night."  This is nails on a chalkboard to me.  

[Bastet]

I always addressed any adult I was introduced to as a child as "Mr./Ms. Whatever", but if it became an ongoing relationship - friend of my parents, or parent of my friends - they always asked me to call them by their first name, as did my parents with my friends.  Most things are casual in Los Angeles, and that's one of them.

Thankfully, my close friends are all fellow non-breeders, so I don't have to be around children with any regularity.  I like when a coworker's or acquaintance's kid calls me Ms. LastName upon being introduced, or seeing me once in a blue moon, but if any of my friends did have kids, I'd tell them to call me by my first name (if I liked kids and would have a relationship with them rather than enduring their presence sometimes, I'd have them call me Auntie FirstName, like I am to my friends' cats).

[rcc]

43 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

I think there should be a line of respect between adults and kids as far as how adults should be addressed.  My grandkids have been raised to address their friends' parents  as Mr/Miss/Mrs FirstName.  Their Mom and Dad's friends are Uncle or Aunt.  This seems to suffice and no adult has ever objected.

I work with a platoon of "young" people.  I'm 62 and they're all under 30.  There isn't a one of them that doesn't say "like" every other word.  As in:  "I like watched like this really like cool movie like last night."  This is nails on a chalkboard to me.  

Like and You know do it for me.

[theredhead77]

13 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Most things are casual in Los Angeles, and that's one of them.

Yep!
I've already ranted about my thoughts on being called Ms. Firstname or Ms. Lastname by people of any age. I also don't think adding a title in front of my name is a sign of respect, especially if I despise that title. I think its disrespectful for people to insist a child call me something I don't want to be called.

I'm also not a fan of calling non-relatives aunt or uncle and that stems from confusion in my own family about "aunts" who were not actually related.

9 minutes ago, rcc said:

  There isn't a one of them that doesn't say "like" every other word.  As in:  "I like watched like this really like cool movie like last night." 

Dude. I'm in my 40s and "like" (and "dude") are a part of my vernacular. 

[peacheslatour]

44 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I always addressed any adult I was introduced to as a child as "Mr./Ms. Whatever", but if it became an ongoing relationship - friend of my parents, or parent of my friends - they always asked me to call them by their first name, as did my parents with my friends.  Most things are casual in Los Angeles, and that's one of them.

Thankfully, my close friends are all fellow non-breeders, so I don't have to be around children with any regularity.  I like when a coworker's or acquaintance's kid calls me Ms. LastName upon being introduced, or seeing me once in a blue moon, but if any of my friends did have kids, I'd tell them to call me by my first name (if I liked kids and would have a relationship with them rather than enduring their presence sometimes, I'd have them call me Auntie FirstName, like I am to my friends' cats).

All my son's friends called me by my first name. It never bothered me at all.

[GHScorpiosRule]

I’m the opposite and maybe it’s a culture thing for me. I’ve always called my Indian friends’ parents “Uncle” and “Auntie” but would address my non-Indian friends’ parents as “Mrs./Ms. Surname” or “Mr. Surname.” 

Even after college, when my relationship with two of my professors evolved into friendship, I could never call them by their first names. Same with elementary and high school teachers who I have connected with on Facebook. 

Friends of my parents also were and are addressed as “Uncle” or “Auntie.” If there are more than one in a social setting, it’s “First Name Uncle” or “First Name Auntie.”

Aaaand to make it more confusing. We have different names for uncles and aunts based on if they’re related to my mother or father. So make friends of my dad’s side, are “First Name Chachaji” the “ji” is a form of respect. If the friend is a woman, it’s “First name Bua” and if she’s married, her husband would be “First Name Pupaji.”

Friends of my mother?

Women: “First Name Masiji”/husband is “Firet Name Masaji.” 

Men: “First Name Mamaji”/wife is “First Name Mamiji.”

I drop the first name if they are the only friends there, say, just one Couple.

😁

[meep.meep]

My kids friends called me Mrs. LastName until they came of age and the ones I still see now call me by my first name.

I have a lot of first cousins and when we were very young the families would get together for vacations.  My dad was a funny guy and the life of the party always.  One time one of the youngest kids came running in, turned to him in confusion, and called him Uncle Daddy Bill.  It was his name forever more.

[Annber03]

Yeah, I too just refer to any other adults that aren't related to me and who I don't have a personal relationship of any sort with as Mr. or Mrs./Ms., unless they specifically ask me to refer to them by some other name/title/etc. 

[ginger90]

PP: Hypocrisy 

[Katy M]

4 hours ago, PRgal said:

Do you say "Friend's Name's Mom/Dad?"  I'm pretty sure my son's friends will call me that!

Nope, I literally don't call them anything. I just start talking.  And actually as a kid, I really tried not to talk to the parents at all.  I was very shy and grown ups were scary. And so were kids.  I hate people:)

[theredhead77]

46 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Same with elementary and high school teachers who I have connected with on Facebook. 

I worked at an ice cream shop in college. A group of kids from the local elementary school. My 5th & 6th grade teacher was a parent volunteer as her grandkids were in the class, and the teacher was her student teacher. I could not call either of them by their first names. The principal from that same time frame came in another time and I could not call her by her first name, either.

 

7 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

PP: Hypocrisy 

?

[GHScorpiosRule]

7 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

I worked at an ice cream shop in college. A group of kids from the local elementary school. My 5th & 6th grade teacher was a parent volunteer as her grandkids were in the class, and the teacher was her student teacher. I could not call either of them by their first names. The principal from that same time frame came in another time and I could not call her by her first name, either.
 

That reminds me of when I used to work as a bank teller, and one of my elementary school friend’s mom-who used to volunteer-came to the bank. She told me to call her by her first name, but I couldn’t do it; she will always be “Mrs. Surname” to me.

[SoMuchTV]

Lol. Someone who had been a teacher at my kids’ school moved in down the street from me, after my kids were already past any interaction with her. We had kids the same age, who were in activities together. She’s younger than me!  But to this day, I can’t think of her as Mary, just as Ms. Smith. 

And I’m pretty sure some of my kids’ friends referred to me as “Mrs Emily’s mom”. (Names changed to protect the innocent)

Actually back on topic, none of these are really peeves. More like quirks. 

[SoMuchTV]

20 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

27 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

PP: Hypocrisy 

?

Pet peeve: hypocrisy, I’m thinking?