Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[nokat]

2 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I’m with you, and there’s also yarn for my knitting and crocheting. 

My mother and grandmother always had the knitting bag. I prefer crochet and I have two crocheted afghans, one from each. I have lots of doilies.

[nokat]

6 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I’m with you, and there’s also yarn for my knitting and crocheting. 

There used to be a Michael's that had so much craft things and yarn. I could spend hours in there.

[isalicat]

On 6/19/2022 at 12:42 PM, Bastet said:

Vegas has changed so much over the course of my lifetime, and I don't enjoy it like I used to.  There are so many obnoxious clubs now!  Being just a four-hour drive away, I used to do a long weekend there every couple of years, but I don't remember the last time I was there. 

I grew up in Las Vegas and I still love it, although the downtown is now disgustingly dirty and run down. I don't gamble at all (my father ran a casino - I know better), but there is SO much to do there. Go to the Atomic Test Museum (outstanding way to spend a couple of hours), go go-kart racing ten miles south of town (so much fun!), get out to Red Rocks (take a picnic and wear lots of sunscreen). And of course the infinite variety of good eating (doesn't have to be expensive). Pet peeve? Well, the gas to get there was hideously expensive!

[EtheltoTillie]

3 hours ago, nokat said:

There used to be a Michael's that had so much craft things and yarn. I could spend hours in there.

Pet peeve:  They closed the Michael's in my neighborhood!

@kristen111  I'm currently knitting a Norwegian sweater with two colors.  Also crocheting a blanket for myself. 

[kristen111]

2 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Pet peeve:  They closed the Michael's in my neighborhood!

@kristen111  I'm currently knitting a Norwegian sweater with two colors.  Also crocheting a blanket for myself. 

[kristen111]

@EtheltoTillie   Sounds great.  You must be a pro.  I wanted to show the blue, pink and white squares with roses in the middle my Mother made, but it won’t come thru.  A big blanket.  Plus many Indian River throws.  I crouched a baby blue, pink and white blanket with ribbon along the edges for my first Grandaughter.  They put it away for when the time comes.  The Norwegian sweater sounds nice.  Never goes out of style.  How about a hat to match?

[EtheltoTillie]

2 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

@EtheltoTillie   Sounds great.  You must be a pro.  I wanted to show the blue, pink and white squares with roses in the middle my Mother made, but it won’t come thru.  A big blanket.  Plus many Indian River throws.  I crouched a baby blue, pink and white blanket with ribbon along the edges for my first Grandaughter.  They put it away for when the time comes.  The Norwegian sweater sounds nice.  Never goes out of style.  How about a hat to match?

Ha I never wear hats! 

I am an advanced knitter and crocheter, but my mother and her sister were the real pros.  I learned everything from them when I was a kid.  My mother made those doilies too. I love those squares with the roses in the middle.  I'd love to see your pictures if you can post. 

[kristen111]

5 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Ha I never wear hats! 

I am an advanced knitter and crocheter, but my mother and her sister were the real pros.  I learned everything from them when I was a kid.  My mother made those doilies too. I love those squares with the roses in the middle.  I'd love to see your pictures if you can post. 

I’ll try again, but everyone might get mad, lol.  Here goes.

The small cross didn’t come thru.  Do u know how?

[kristen111]

4 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I’ll try again, but everyone might get mad, lol.  Here goes.

The small cross didn’t come thru.  Do u know how?

[festivus]

Please take the knitting talk to chit chat.

[peacheslatour]

2 hours ago, kristen111 said:

What are you knitting and crocheting?  My Mother crochet many Afghans and beautiful blankets for the grandkids.  Unfortunately, they have Target stuff on the beds.  I did the million scarfs, vests and baby blankets for everyone.  Hope they pass it down, especially baby stuff.  Kids are real fussy these days.

Oh well, you all see I tried to post pictures.  Look what comes up instead of crouched blankets.  BALLS !   Btw, he missed a hole in one by an inch Sunday.  He’s still crying.

[nokat]

13 hours ago, isalicat said:

I grew up in Las Vegas and I still love it, although the downtown is now disgustingly dirty and run down. I don't gamble at all (my father ran a casino - I know better), but there is SO much to do there. Go to the Atomic Test Museum (outstanding way to spend a couple of hours), go go-kart racing ten miles south of town (so much fun!), get out to Red Rocks (take a picnic and wear lots of sunscreen). And of course the infinite variety of good eating (doesn't have to be expensive). Pet peeve? Well, the gas to get there was hideously expensive!

I remember Red Rocks. Not a gambler either.

[nokat]

12 hours ago, festivus said:

Please take the knitting talk to chit chat.

Can you give me a link, I can't find it.

[theredhead77]

18 minutes ago, nokat said:

Can you give me a link, I can't find it.

Here is the Chit-Chat thread and it looks like we also have a crafting thread. Fun!

Didn't want you to have to wait for the person you asked to respond :) 

[EtheltoTillie]

2 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Here is the Chit-Chat thread and it looks like we also have a crafting thread. Fun!

Didn't want you to have to wait for the person you asked to respond :) 

Thanks.  Pet Peeve no one ever seems to post in the crafting thread. Come on, crafters. 

[peacheslatour]

2 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Thanks.  Pet Peeve no one ever seems to post in the crafting thread. Come on, crafters. 

Same with gardening and cooking.

[kristen111]

8 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Same with gardening and cooking.

Yes, cooking.  Some easy breezy recipes as I’m tired of cooking forever.

[Anela]

9 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Same with gardening and cooking.

Is there a gardening thread? I had wanted to start seeds early this year, really get them going, and once again I failed - due to finances, and depression. I haven't really had a garden going, since my mum went into the hospital (and then died). I bought some plants - finding the orange tomatoes I'd wanted to start - at the local Lowes, along with a few others, but didn't get them into the ground until this week. The hose (and the outside tap), something was broken that my dad had to fix, and then I didn't have the monty's solution that I used to use to transfer plants into the ground. I'm so out of it, when it comes to anything I used to like. So, that's my peeve. A big one. 

[Bastet]

41 minutes ago, Anela said:

Is there a gardening thread?

Yes, there's this general one and then this one in Food & Drink specifically about growing your own food.  But they're both pretty dead.

10 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Same with gardening and cooking.

Cooking threads are more active, though.  The What Did We Eat Today? thread in Food & Drink is largely a cooking thread, and the I Need a Recipe thread usually generates responses to posted questions.

[peacheslatour]

12 hours ago, Anela said:

Is there a gardening thread? I had wanted to start seeds early this year, really get them going, and once again I failed - due to finances, and depression. I haven't really had a garden going, since my mum went into the hospital (and then died). I bought some plants - finding the orange tomatoes I'd wanted to start - at the local Lowes, along with a few others, but didn't get them into the ground until this week. The hose (and the outside tap), something was broken that my dad had to fix, and then I didn't have the monty's solution that I used to use to transfer plants into the ground. I'm so out of it, when it comes to anything I used to like. So, that's my peeve. A big one. 

I'm so sorry. ❤️

[kristen111]

On 6/11/2022 at 10:41 PM, theredhead77 said:

Last Sunday I saw a 1015 AM screening of Maverick. It was perfect, empty and I was able to get stuff done. I was planning on doing the same thing this Sunday for Fallen Kingdom but there's no AM screening and I have too much to do to see a 1pm show which would eat my after..meh

We watched Top Gun twice this week.  Plus Officer and a Gentlemen.  Have to see Maverick.  Wish they made more movies like them.

[kristen111]

On 6/17/2022 at 11:52 PM, kristen111 said:

Why not travel alone?  I would if given the chance.  You would meet lots of people with the same interests.  Give it a whirl.  You never know who you can meet.  Maybe someone with the same interests.  You can pick and choose.  Lots travel by train.  I would in a flash.  It’s exciting and romantic.

Don’t think just because you have partner or husband sitting next to you will converse, lol.  Some husbands or partners will read the paper or sleep the whole trip.  Not kidding.  A stranger will likely converse.  A husband, like mine will read the newspaper or nap, as he has enough of me at home.  In fact, he loves to be home most of the time.  You don’t really know them unless you’ve lived with them or are married.  I went with mine for two years and still didn’t know all about him until after marriage.  His Mother did tell me tho, that he was a sports freak.  He was watching playoffs in October on our honeymoon.  Eh, better than another woman I always say.

[JustHereForFood]

On 6/17/2022 at 8:19 PM, Bastet said:

There are eleven.  If you hover over one, you'll see what the icon means (e.g. heart = love).  For the ones where you still don't know what the hell they mean after hovering, this post explains them all (e.g. flames = fire, which means "That's fire/you are ON fire" or "That's soooo good").

Incidentally, the expression "that's fire" was the subject of a Jeopardy! clue not long after the icon was added here; if not for that and the ensuing discussion of what it means, I would have missed that clue.  But I'm still not using the icon.

Thank you, I didn't know there was an explanation somewhere. I have just used the fire icon at least twice today, meaning " I am angry with that", so at least we can change our reactions.

On 6/17/2022 at 9:01 PM, Bastet said:

They don't offer negative reaction options here.  That's why I knew the fire icon couldn't mean something along the lines of "this post should die in a fire" or "this post makes me flames on the side of my face angry", which is how I'd interpret it if I didn't know that.

I still think the Mind Blown icon looks angry, like "my mind is blown by your stupidity" rather than "wow, that's so cool, it blew my mind".

With mindblown, that is how I'm using it, like the previous surprised one, and I'm not changing that. I don't get not using negative reactions.

My peeve is this forced positivity that has started (or at least I stared to notice it) maybe a few years ago, probably as a result of social media. There is so much horrible things happening lately and I get that people need some time away from that, to not concentrate only on negative stuff, but I think it's sometimes taken to the other extreme, with some people forcing themselves and others to be cheerful, or trying to eliminate all talk about sad/frustrating stuff. I have been feeling very depressed for the past few months (not like clinically depressed, just very sad and hopeless) and I had people telling me variations of "Just don't watch the news, do something fun/Just don't think about it if you can't change it/Don't care so much if it doesn't affect you personally, etc." I'm sorry, but none of that is helping. It's not healthy IMO to hide or try to swallow your emotions. If I'm sad, I need to be sad, if I'm angry, I need to be angry, I can't make myself happy under those circumstances. Yes, I get that people try to help me with those comments, but if I explain that that's not how I deal with things and they still continue, it's quite frustrating. On the other hand, I get that some of them need to handle that stuff differently and listening to my rants can can make them feel worse, but if that's the case, I would prefer them to be upfront about it, because otherwise they just apper to me as selfish if they don't want to talk about things tha affect other people, or delusional if it's about things that will affect them directly.

Just to be clear, I'm not talking about discussing negative topics everywhere, like talking about people dying at a kids party (I had that happen at my party when I was 10 and I didn't appreciate it), just when people already expressed interest in how I'm doing. I have the same opinion about some polite phrases like "How are you?" Don't ask me how I am if you only want to hear an automatic "Good" and not the truth.

[PRgal]

@JustHereForFood:  That's a peeve of mine, too, all that positivity.  It's toxic.  And yes, toxic positivity is a thing.  I'm also not a fan of "I don't diet" phenomenon.  Even if you don't follow any diet to lose weight, you should still try to eat well.  I don't like it when people say they're not dieting and proceed to only eat chips and cookies.  And there's the comments I get from people who tell me to "live a little" because I tell them I don't like Frapuccinos or other sugary blended drinks.  I wasn't raised on junk food, so I never really craved it - and still don't.  

[GHScorpiosRule]

Oh JEEBUS CRIPES.

Someone behind my complex started with the fireworks tonight. UGH.

[annzeepark914]

7 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Oh JEEBUS CRIPES.

Someone behind my complex started with the fireworks tonight. UGH.

Good grief... it's 9 days from now. 

[GHScorpiosRule]

Just now, annzeepark914 said:

Good grief... it's 9 days from now. 

I know! And not just one, but two “shows” of fireworks!

[PRgal]

9 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Good grief... it's 9 days from now. 

Maybe it’s for Pride?  

[Bastet]

40 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Someone behind my complex started with the fireworks tonight. UGH.

I heard a few go off in my neighborhood last night.  I'm not personally bothered by them, nor is my cat, but with how many people and animals out there are (and it being well known by now how many people and pets are not just disturbed but terrified by them, it's just so sickeningly inconsiderate to shoot them off indiscriminately and it makes me angry.  If they just happened on 4th of July, New Year's Eve, etc. people could plan ahead for themselves and their pets, with noise masking and comforting strategies, especially if it was just for a few hours.  But when it's days before and after, and into the wee hours some nights, they just keep suffering.

[bilgistic]

2 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

Thank you, I didn't know there was an explanation somewhere. I have just used the fire icon at least twice today, meaning " I am angry with that", so at least we can change our reactions.

With mindblown, that is how I'm using it, like the previous surprised one, and I'm not changing that. I don't get not using negative reactions.

My peeve is this forced positivity that has started (or at least I stared to notice it) maybe a few years ago, probably as a result of social media. There is so much horrible things happening lately and I get that people need some time away from that, to not concentrate only on negative stuff, but I think it's sometimes taken to the other extreme, with some people forcing themselves and others to be cheerful, or trying to eliminate all talk about sad/frustrating stuff. I have been feeling very depressed for the past few months (not like clinically depressed, just very sad and hopeless) and I had people telling me variations of "Just don't watch the news, do something fun/Just don't think about it if you can't change it/Don't care so much if it doesn't affect you personally, etc." I'm sorry, but none of that is helping. It's not healthy IMO to hide or try to swallow your emotions. If I'm sad, I need to be sad, if I'm angry, I need to be angry, I can't make myself happy under those circumstances. Yes, I get that people try to help me with those comments, but if I explain that that's not how I deal with things and they still continue, it's quite frustrating. On the other hand, I get that some of them need to handle that stuff differently and listening to my rants can can make them feel worse, but if that's the case, I would prefer them to be upfront about it, because otherwise they just apper to me as selfish if they don't want to talk about things tha affect other people, or delusional if it's about things that will affect them directly.

Just to be clear, I'm not talking about discussing negative topics everywhere, like talking about people dying at a kids party (I had that happen at my party when I was 10 and I didn't appreciate it), just when people already expressed interest in how I'm doing. I have the same opinion about some polite phrases like "How are you?" Don't ask me how I am if you only want to hear an automatic "Good" and not the truth.

I am so with you. Any good therapist will tell you that you need to honor your feelings. You have to feel and process what you are experiencing. Suppressing your feelings only causes you (and others) harm.

My mother refuses to acknowledge anything that might be painful, and tells me to "move on" when anything bad happens. And this is part of the reason why I have debilitating depression and anxiety and my sister is a recovering alcoholic. My mother herself is the daughter of an alcoholic. People need to deal with their shit and help their kids deal with their shit.

People who are messy and authentic and tell the truth about how they are feeling can sit with me anytime.

[isalicat]

But...but...but...you can rightfully acknowledge your feelings and be honest about them with others and still reasonably seek to *move on* from the negativity - one does not cancel out the other. Doing for others and ignoring one's own issues even for a little bit on a regular basis is extraordinarily useful in this regard. Spending active time being grateful every day also a most useful discipline, no matter how little you think you have to be grateful for.  I entirely realize what I'm saying is not any sort of long term cure for deep seated, underlying issues but it is a pet peeve of mine (maybe justified, maybe not) that I encounter people with emotional problems that aren't willing to try *anything* to mitigate their issues and at the same time people with real physical debilitation that are incredibly forward thinking and upbeat despite their situation. Sorry if this comes across as "generalizing" because my experience is entirely anecdotal, or judgmental, because its not - I can't live in your life and I'm just trying to be helpful.

[Gramto6]

Well it is 11:30PM here in MT (June 26) and some fool is shooting off fireworks!! Glad we have had so much rain lately everything is green!

[Annber03]

People have been shooting off fireworks in our area, too. Every year from sometime in mid to late May up through to July 4th (and for a short time after), they do that. 

And it's these really loud, BOOMING fireworks as well. And they sound fairly close, which is unsettling, considering we're not in a rural area and there's a lot of houses around .

So obnoxious. 

[Anela]

Our nextdoor neighbours set off fireworks at around 10pm. I'd finally been sleeping, and ended up getting squashed by my scared dog. 

[TattleTeeny]

The town next to ours was doing them last night. Why? What was the occasion?

[Spartan Girl]

I am in NO MOOD for fireworks this year.

[theredhead77]

12 hours ago, PRgal said:

@JustHereForFood:  That's a peeve of mine, too, all that positivity.  It's toxic.  And yes, toxic positivity is a thing.  I'm also not a fan of "I don't diet" phenomenon.  Even if you don't follow any diet to lose weight, you should still try to eat well.  I don't like it when people say they're not dieting and proceed to only eat chips and cookies.  And there's the comments I get from people who tell me to "live a little" because I tell them I don't like Frapuccinos or other sugary blended drinks.  I wasn't raised on junk food, so I never really craved it - and still don't.  

A person doesn't have to to diet to eat well, and, there is science based evidence that food restriction can lead to disordered eating. In addition to that, there is science based evidence that restricting what kids can eat, labeling food "good" and "bad" leads to binging as soon as they leave the house, and sneaking "bad food" instead of learning moderation.

But a peeve of mine is food police. A glimpse into what someone does while out with friends, or out to eat does not paint the whole picture. So I just MYOB. Maybe I'm lucky, I've never had someone care enough about me not eating something, or liking something to comment on it.

  

10 minutes ago, Spartan Girl said:

I am in NO MOOD for fireworks this year.

Me either. We're grounded, again.

Edited June 26, 2022 by theredhead77

[Wiendish Fitch]

11 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

But a peeve of mine is food police. A glimpse into what someone does while out with friends, or out to eat does not paint the whole picture. So I just MYOB. Maybe I'm lucky, I've never had someone care enough about me not eating something, or liking something to comment on it.

Here's a stupid confession: I prefer working part-time. It's not because I fear hard work, it's that I don't like breaks, however necessary they are. Why? I just hate the idea of either 

A. Wasting money on a meal during my break, or, even worse, what REALLY sticks in my craw,

B. Eating in the break room, and having people bitch about the smell my frozen dinner makes in the microwave, or how "good" I am for eating healthy if I'm having a salad (they always use the most saccharine, condescending tone when they say it), or how can I afford my "expensive" frozen dinners (um, I usually eat Lean Cuisine, I'm not exactly breaking the bank), or how much sodium they have (say the people who regularly eat crap from McDonalds), or how can I keep my figure eating a two-bite brownie that someone brought in (BECAUSE I HAVEN'T EATEN A BROWNIE IN MONTHS, YOU FREAK, AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FOCUSING ON MY BODY?!?!?).

Sorry, but as someone who was fat-shamed as a kid, I am really, really, really touchy when people comment on what I eat, be it healthy or otherwise. I just want to eat in peace, is that so unreasonable?

[supposebly]

I have the same Peeve, people who comment on other people's food choices. Mind your own business!

But I also think these are often people who have their own issues with food and weight, and body image. 

@Wiendish Fitch, sounds like you need new colleagues.

[Spartan Girl]

Break rooms are disgusting. I’ve always eaten in my cubicle.

Edited June 26, 2022 by Spartan Girl

[Wiendish Fitch]

46 minutes ago, supposebly said:

I have the same Peeve, people who comment on other people's food choices. Mind your own business!

But I also think these are often people who have their own issues with food and weight, and body image. 

@Wiendish Fitch, sounds like you need new colleagues.

Oh, don't worry about me, I haven't actually eaten in a break room in a decade. I've worked as a vendor for seven years, so I make my own hours (a neat gig, but you'll never get rich), and I recently took an extra part-time job, so I'm good on that front.

Still, I can hold a grudge with the best of 'em, and I haven't forgotten the years of bullshit from co-workers who felt the need to give their two cents on whatever I eat. 

28 minutes ago, Spartan Girl said:

Break rooms are disgusting. I’ve always eaten in my cubicle.

That's the way to go.

[DrSpaceman73]

1 hour ago, Spartan Girl said:

Break rooms are disgusting. I’ve always eaten in my cubicle.

That's how you get ants!

[annzeepark914]

Geez--I can't imagine commenting on someone's lunch. What is with people today? Blasting off fireworks in their neighborhoods, not caring about little ones already sleeping, or terrifying dogs, or aggravating their neighbors (some of whom might have health issues). Way too many self-absorbed, immature adults in America now.

@Gramtosix: glad to hear you've had a lot of rain. I'm so concerned re: our western states and the awful drought out there.

[PRgal]

3 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

A person doesn't have to to diet to eat well, and, there is science based evidence that food restriction can lead to disordered eating. In addition to that, there is science based evidence that restricting what kids can eat, labeling food "good" and "bad" leads to binging as soon as they leave the house, and sneaking "bad food" instead of learning moderation.

But a peeve of mine is food police. A glimpse into what someone does while out with friends, or out to eat does not paint the whole picture. So I just MYOB. Maybe I'm lucky, I've never had someone care enough about me not eating something, or liking something to comment on it.

  

Me either. We're grounded, again.

I don't restrict.  I just don't eat foods I find appetizing.  I've started to use "eating plan" or "eating style" just so I'd not use the d-word.  I mostly eat "Mediterranean influenced" or "Meditasian" (a mix of Mediterranean and "Asian" (which is more or less EAST Asian - I can't completely ignore my heritage, after all)) style.  Apparently that offends people because they think I'm just not eating so-called "junk."  They see it as "dieting."  And the more (negative) comments they make, the worse it gets/toxic it feels.  I don't understand why they'd see it as "bad" and that I'm "living a little."  I just wasn't raised on a lot of sugar, as I said.  I shouldn't be forcing myself to eat chips, other fried foods and super-sweet snacks with high (added) sugar content.  "Living a little" for me are the oat and mashed banana cookies I make.  Hey, you could eat the "dough" straight from the bowl, after all...(not that I'd lick the spoon...I DO share).  People seem to think that eating this way is "wrong."  Maybe it's because I'm already skinny?

[Suzn]

I don't think anyone should be commenting on what other people eat. Period.  It's nobody's business what I eat or what you eat.  This is the same regardless of whether a person is thin or fat.  The information on calories and nutrition  is readily available.  If someone is not following the eating "rules" that you do, there may be reasons you don't/can't understand.

[PRgal]

46 minutes ago, Suzn said:

I don't think anyone should be commenting on what other people eat. Period.  It's nobody's business what I eat or what you eat.  This is the same regardless of whether a person is thin or fat.  The information on calories and nutrition  is readily available.  If someone is not following the eating "rules" that you do, there may be reasons you don't/can't understand.

Exactly.  And it's also funny that it's typically larger people who make comments on how I (and other thinner) people eat.  They also comment on our sizes and how "thin" we are.  But if we said anything about them, OH NO, THAT IS BAD!!!  Goes both ways, people.  And that's all I'm going to say, since we're not really supposed to talk about sizes.

Edited June 26, 2022 by PRgal

[annzeepark914]

37 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Exactly.  And it's also funny that it's typically larger people who make comments on how I (and other thinner) people eat.  They also comment on our sizes and how "thin" we are.  But if we said anything about them, OH NO, THAT IS BAD!!!  Goes both ways, people.  And that's all I'm going to say, since we're not really supposed to talk about sizes.

That reminds me of how, all my life, people (females) have felt free to make comments re: my small feet and small hands. I have small bones...can't help it. But you can imagine the reaction if I commented on their big feet and big hands. 

[Suzn]

I don't think a small vs not small needs to be set up.   (The large and fat may get more behind their backs, however.) There is enough rudeness and unkindness throughout the sizes.  No one is immune from unwelcome comments and no group is innocent of rude judgements.

[Cloud9Shopper]

Two, I guess since I’m banging my head off the wall about both of them simultaneously.

One is social media networks that lack true block/ignore functions. I really want to mute/block a person on Discord but then she could still see all my messages and respond to them. So what’s the point if I still have to deal with her? Reminds me of Reddit’s old “block” feature that was only really a mute function so the person could still interact with you. I want to not see this person or interact with them at all, Discord.

Second, TV fans who are so stuck on their own interpretations that they discount everyone else as “wrong” or complain about someone else’s opinion because “but the character would never do this!” or “But they canonically live here and would never move their kid to another city for a job!” If you’re that insistent on sticking to what happened in canon, then maybe don’t read or actively participate in spaces where someone doesn’t have opinions you approve of. Just watch the show and be quiet about it. I mean in real life people move cities or states (yes even when they have kids), get divorced, maybe even go back to old cities or workplaces etc. It’s not that unreasonable to imagine it happening to characters. Plus, once a show has been off the air for several years I think people’s imaginations can work however they want. 

I generally have my opinions about my favorite shows and characters but I will open my mind and at least consider another side if the person talking to me is respectful and nice. I can’t deal with people who seethe when someone makes an opinion about their favorite fictional couple that isn’t in line with their own. Either get used to seeing that stuff and disagreeing in a civil manner or STFU and go hang out with people who think like you. You’re like 45 years old, Karen, it’s time to grow up. 

Edited June 27, 2022 by Cloud9Shopper

[RealHousewife]

23 hours ago, isalicat said:

But...but...but...you can rightfully acknowledge your feelings and be honest about them with others and still reasonably seek to *move on* from the negativity - one does not cancel out the other. Doing for others and ignoring one's own issues even for a little bit on a regular basis is extraordinarily useful in this regard. Spending active time being grateful every day also a most useful discipline, no matter how little you think you have to be grateful for.  I entirely realize what I'm saying is not any sort of long term cure for deep seated, underlying issues but it is a pet peeve of mine (maybe justified, maybe not) that I encounter people with emotional problems that aren't willing to try *anything* to mitigate their issues and at the same time people with real physical debilitation that are incredibly forward thinking and upbeat despite their situation. Sorry if this comes across as "generalizing" because my experience is entirely anecdotal, or judgmental, because its not - I can't live in your life and I'm just trying to be helpful.

That's pretty similar to my outlook. I've been extremely depressed and dealt with family who did not want to hear a peep about. My dad's favorite question to ask is "how are you?" But to this day I don't feel good when I hear it because he'd chirpily ask how are you when he KNEW how horrible a place I was in when I was younger. If you don't truly care, don't ask, at least not constantly. And don't pretend you don't know what a dark hole I'm in if that's my life at that point. As far as more formal interactions, I don't expect random people to want to know about my problems. My answer is good, and you. But others are always welcome to come to me with theirs. HOWEVER, as you said, it is hard when you're around people who don't seem to want to help themselves.

I don't believe in going around telling others to smile and ignoring their pain. But reading law of attraction books were life changing for me, maybe life saving. It's why I want others to experience the changes I experienced. It's not a 'I don't care about your feelings. Suck it up buttercup." If your idea of being positive is some dopey Pollyanna who has no idea what clinical depression is, that's not where I come from. My sister for example is young, healthy, pretty, smart, successful, has lots of friends, our parents should still be around for many years to come, etc. But she often just seems doom and gloom. I've told her to get help, but she still hasn't. I don't know if it's a genetic component, because even though it's a loa no-no to say, we are both sensitive souls and have to work at being happy. I do the work with self-help books, gratitude lists, trying to listen to uplifting music, therapy, she does not. 

My mother on the other hand has stuff to be depressed about. She can't walk and spends much of her days asleep or in pain. She's the one with the better attitude. She's grateful to be alive. A lot of people who get cancer don't make it. She's happy she has a husband and two daughters. She's appreciative of her home and small pleasures. A chat with a friend on the phone makes her day.  

I did start feeling more depressed again during covid, and and still working on being happier. I think a big part of it is the fact depression can be contagious, and I'm still more isolated. I went from being in an office setting where there was often laughter throughout the day with coworkers and often going to the dance studio afterwards to working remotely and having most of my interactions with family/friends who were mostly either physically and/or mentally not well.

If it's someone who refuses to entertain the thought they may have a nice life, refuses therapy, self-help books, antidepressants, there's only so much I can do. I also won't date someone like that because it's enough working on my own issues. 

9 hours ago, PRgal said:

Exactly.  And it's also funny that it's typically larger people who make comments on how I (and other thinner) people eat.  They also comment on our sizes and how "thin" we are.  But if we said anything about them, OH NO, THAT IS BAD!!!  Goes both ways, people.  And that's all I'm going to say, since we're not really supposed to talk about sizes.

So true, and while I get some of it a degree, since thin is the ideal, it's so freaking annoying how people who are overweight, diabetic, have all sorts of issues food shame me. I did have an eating disorder, but that was very many years ago. I eat plenty now, and I try to make most of it healthy but already indulge in goodies more than I should. (Just ate two big cookies.) Don't tell me I am too strict if I don't want to live on fast food and actually love fruits and vegetables. 

8 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

That reminds me of how, all my life, people (females) have felt free to make comments re: my small feet and small hands. I have small bones...can't help it. But you can imagine the reaction if I commented on their big feet and big hands. 

Are you sure those women mean it in a negative way? I'm a tall lady with a small bone structure. I often get compliments on my hands and how they're so pretty and delicate, slender figures, perfect nail beds, most gorgeous hands, etc. I've gotten the odd foot compliment, but I think these people must not be looking closely enough. lol I'm tall so my feet were never the cutest, and I've fractured some toes. They never went to normal. :( I always envy my friends who have petite, pretty feet. I am self-conscious of what I consider my man feet. lol