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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


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Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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There's a way to turn that off, but I couldn't tell you how I did it. I just know I did. I think I had to go into each person's page and set up what I didn't want to see under the "following" settings. Maybe?

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46 minutes ago, Sandman87 said:

"I used to like Star Wars. Then I grew up.".

Those are fighting words!

2 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

There's a way to turn that off, but I couldn't tell you how I did it. I just know I did. I think I had to go into each person's page and set up what I didn't want to see under the "following" settings. Maybe?

I thought unfollow would do it but that also stops seeing their actual posts. 

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You can still follow but not see some of the activity--their likes, comments on other posts, etc. I got tired of seeing that my second cousin likes some random country singer's posts. It can be done.

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As annoying as that is, I actually learned about the political leanings of some of my FB friends who NEVER post about that kind of stuff because my feed was showing me public posts that they had liked. When I saw some of the things a college friend of mine had liked (but not shared/posted), I was like :O

15 hours ago, Bastet said:

When I worked in HR (which was actually semi-fun, as it was for a record label, which back then were dedicated to being anti-corporate), my favorite complaint was from the employee who didn't like the brand of tampons in the dispenser in the women's restrooms.  First of all, wrong department; go see Administration.  But, I'm sorry, you have access to free tampons, and you're complaining about the brand?  Hey, I'm pretty loyal to "my" brand, too, but in the event I don't have any on me and find myself in need of a tampon?  I am just damn happy to have one right there. 

Mr. EB's company has a refrigerator full of free drinks including different kinds of milk for people to use with the free (fancy) coffee. They also get catered lunches for meetings several times a week. They used to have a free candy dispenser (the kind where you twist the handle and a handful of candy comes out of the slot) full of M&Ms until a few years ago when HR decided that they should encourage healthier eating habits by taking away the free chocolate. You'd think people would just be grateful that they can help themselves to free drinks and food, but instead people are always complaining or requesting very specific things (one person wanted Diet Dr. Pepper). Their company occupies two floors of an office building. There are stairs and an elevator. They have coffee on both floors. Every once in a while, something will happen (like the coffee machine malfunctioning) that results in only having a working coffee maker on one floor. People then complained because they didn't want to have to go ONE FLOOR to get free coffee. How about walking four blocks and paying for it yourself? Ingrates!

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I once worked in an office that had Casual Friday.  The office closed for Good Friday, people complained about "losing" their casual day, so it was held on Thursday.   Jeezuz, people.  You can spend all day Friday in bed, or on your sofa, in your pjs and get paid for a statutory holiday. And you're bitching about not getting to wear your jeans to the office? 

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11 minutes ago, Quof said:

I once worked in an office that had Casual Friday.  The office closed for Good Friday, people complained about "losing" their casual day, so it was held on Thursday.   Jeezuz, people.  You can spend all day Friday in bed, or on your sofa, in your pjs and get paid for a statutory holiday. And you're bitching about not getting to wear your jeans to the office? 

Heh. That's a really good one.  

I would make an interesting HR director. My sense of fairness, general beliefs, and my sense of justice would create an interesting place.  For example, I'm a big supporter of spending a few bucks to make the workplace nice. Good, free coffee for sure. Water coolers where people can refill their own water bottles. Make sure everybody has tools that work, which means stuff like updated and working computers, copiers, staplers, and so on. Maybe snacks, that would depend on the size of the office. In a very large office, self policing starts to go away and people will absolutely start hoarding the stuff and/or taking it home.  Love casual Fridays, but the guidelines would be clear (not sloppy Fridays for example) and enforced.

I'd also be a big fan of the word "NO". As in, NO, we're not moving casual Friday to Thursday.  NO, we're not getting an espresso machine. 

There is a just a difficult balance to strike, because people.  Ideally you would be able to build a decent group of human beings just by managing the hiring process. You can establish policies, but the people who are supposed to follow the policies are still far more important to the work environment than anything HR can try to lord over.

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Is some of this stuff generational?  I've never understood why clean jeans without any rips were so awful in an office if you do not deal with the public or vendors in person.

My irritation is that I was taught by the office manager at my first full time job that if your work day starts at nine, that means that you are present, your coat is off and your computer is on by nine o'clock.  These days, I feel like I'm the only one in my office actually working when the day begins instead of trickling in at 9:05 or later in time to chat with my co-workers, play with my phone and consider the coffee options.  It makes me feel quite justified in not staying late if it is not absolutely necessary.

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I once worked in an office where co-workers after getting their cup of coffee that was furnished by the company sat at their desks and bitched about their husbands for at least a half hour every single morning. Then they turned on their computers and got to work. I had a small radio at my desk just for that reason. I turned it up to drown out their voices. I'm retired now and every single one of them is now divorced except for one who rarely complained. 

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21 hours ago, Moose135 said:

I've used a variety of coffee mugs at work, usually black.  I rinse them out during the week, and bring them home when I'm on vacation for a good cleaning.  And yes, they would be brown inside by that point - that's when the flavor is best!

No, no, no, a black coffee or tea mug badly washed won't be brown inside, it'll have a lighter line ( I know, I have a back cup that says "My cup of tea" that, when not washed properly, shows light lines in the missed areas).

As for when the flavor is best, that's not in the cup, miscreant, but in the coffeepot and/or teapot. I drink both coffee and tea, usually start my day with coffee, done with a traditional Italian coffeemaker, then later in the day I move to tea (green, black, I like them all, although black has to be with milk). Back to topic: it's the coffee maker that should NOT be rubbed of all coffee marks, not the cup! (I mean if you use the traditional Italian device, not sure about others). Same as you never, ever, scour a teapot (a friend of mine who's not British once house sat for a friend who is British, and decided to clean her teapot...(the horror, if there was a shortcut for the Munch cry I would use it here) They're still friend, but the teapot episode was painful.    

Edited by NutMeg
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I worked at a place that had monthly all-staff meetings. The meetings were "mandatory" but a lot of people wouldn't show, or would wander in late, whatever.  

The HR director instituted a door prize. If you came on time, you could enter your name in the raffle. At the start of the meeting, the raffle was closed. Prizes were simple, like a $10 gift card, or a box of candy, a plant, etc.  It made a huge difference in attendance at the meetings.    Then there were staff changes, the HR person left, and, back to laid-back attitude.  

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Pet Peeve - people who interrupt my work to ask me how to do something with the excuse that it is easier and faster to ask me than Google it themselves. Sure, faster and easier for YOU, coworker, but it's time and effort that I don't have to expend if you do it yourself. 

Related peeve - people who ask me do to things for them immediately because it has to go out today and they have to finish up something else so can I just do it for them (not my job, BTW). Bonus peeve if it then doesn't actually go out the same day.  Extra death glare if the same person asks why I'm still working at 7:00. I'm surprised people in my office don't burst into flames more often.

Edited by MargeGunderson
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1 hour ago, Qoass said:

Is some of this stuff generational?  I've never understood why clean jeans without any rips were so awful in an office if you do not deal with the public or vendors in person.

My irritation is that I was taught by the office manager at my first full time job that if your work day starts at nine, that means that you are present, your coat is off and your computer is on by nine o'clock.  These days, I feel like I'm the only one in my office actually working when the day begins instead of trickling in at 9:05 or later in time to chat with my co-workers, play with my phone and consider the coffee options.  It makes me feel quite justified in not staying late if it is not absolutely necessary.

If you don't deal with outside people, I have always thought anything clean and neat (without rips or stains) ought to be OK.

I worked part-time in a university office when I was a student, and the admin assistant liked to get there 5-10 minutes early to get her coffee and get settled in before starting actual work -- answering the phone, doing anything on the computer, etc. HR told her she was not allowed to do that because if she was in the office -- even if it was just getting coffee and taking her coat off -- she was working, and the university had to pay her for that time. (Of course, coming in five minutes after her workday was supposed to start was late no matter what she was doing.)

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I know this has been mentioned, but I need to pile on. :-) I just read the following on another site.

"Both dad's were shouting at their kid's in the park."

I'm so puzzled. Isn't it easier NOT to hit the apostrophe key (when it is not needed in the first place? )

I make mistakes and typos, but this thing makes me crazy.

Please, God and the universe, help me understand WHY!!!!

That is all.

Edited by ari333
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@ari333 Oh my God, yes! Drives me crazy. Homophone misuse does, too. I can't understand why people have such a hard time with them (unless you happen to be dyslexic, like my wife). Knowing when to use "hear" and "here" or "heal" and "heel" or they're/there/their.

Another thing that drives me nuts is getting phrases wrong: "by in large", "nip it in the butt", "one in the same" are some examples. The worst one for me that makes me really want to get shake someone to death is "for all intensive purposes". That one makes me want to kill the speaker where they stand and explain to the listening/reading audience that it's "for all intents and purposes". Most of these errors wouldn't even occur if people would stop and think about them. I mean, really, "nip it in the butt"? Why would you prevent something from growing larger by nipping it in the butt?

My wife gets a pass on much of this because she's dyslexic. Of course, the problem for the non-dyslexics is that even my wife has gotten these right over the 21 years I've been with her. That and her vocabulary has expanded (largely because I can't avoid using large words and she ends up learning them in order to understand me). Thank God the woman has an endless supply of patience and willingness to learn! (Her dyslexia makes for some fun moments, too, and she's got really good humor about it.)

Edited by MrSmith
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I might have to start saying "nip it in the butt." I'm not sure when I'll use it, but there must be some situation it will be perfect for.

And now I'm hearing Barney Fife say, "Nip it!"

Edited by auntlada
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53 minutes ago, auntlada said:

If you don't deal with outside people, I have always thought anything clean and neat (without rips or stains) ought to be OK.

Since offices went to business casual as the norm, "NO DENIM" is pretty standard. Eliminates any subjective work on which jeans are okay and which ones are not.

And like all of this office stuff, it is a rule that is meant to deal with the few people who consistently go outside of the spirit of the rules or benefits and take more than they should.  

And I was thinking the same thing @auntlada! I kind of like that malapropism and just need to figure out how to deploy it.

Edited by JTMacc99
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7 minutes ago, auntlada said:

I might have to start saying "nip it in the butt." I'm not sure when I'll use it, but there must be some situation it will be perfect for.

And now I'm hearing Barney Fife say, "Nip it!"

You know it's supposed to be "nip it in the bud", right? I hope you're joking because if I have contributed to the propagation of the corrupted phrase, well .... that's going to be a stain on my karma that may never be gotten out.

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Hee. "Nip it in the butt" is just hilarious!

The only thing more hilarious and annoying would be, "nip it in the butt's"   *snort*

The homophone issue may be related to spellcheck in that heal vs heel - neither  is spelled incorrectly so the writer may not see the error (? ) And some folks use those auto filler-in-ers. (wrong term) :-)

"All the judge's agreed."

Oh, sheesh, just pull the trigger's already.

(Sometimes my space bar sticks. Forgive me all). :-)

Edited by ari333
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"Her legs hurt because she has very close veins."

Thank you. Drive safely ! I'll be here all week. Please tip your waitresses and next time try the veal.

Edited by ari333
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40 minutes ago, ari333 said:

"Both dad's were shouting at their kid's in the park."

I'm so puzzled. Isn't it easier NOT to hit the apostrophe key (when it is not needed in the first place? )

I make mistakes and typos, but this thing makes me crazy.

Please, God and the universe, help me understand WHY!!!!

Some people seem to have a burning desire to stick an apostrophe in any word ending with the letter S (someone here once said something along the lines of, "An apostrophe does not mean here comes an S").  I know the language has some funky rules, and there are nuances within the "use an apostrophe to indicate possession" rule, certainly, but the basic possessive vs. plural concept is simple.

Add me to the growing list of those amused by the "nip it in the butt" blunder (which I'd never heard before).

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1 minute ago, Bastet said:

Some people seem to have a burning desire to stick an apostrophe in any word ending with the letter S (someone here once said something along the lines of, "An apostrophe does not mean here comes an S").  I know the language has some funky rules, and there are nuances within the "use an apostrophe to indicate possession" rule, certainly, but the basic possessive vs. plural concept is simple.

Add me to the growing list of those amused by the "nip it in the butt" blunder (which I'd never heard before).

Bwahahaha! "Here comes an S" is  gold!

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3 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Add me to the growing list of those amused by the "nip it in the butt" blunder (which I'd never heard before).

Oh, man. My youngest sister-in-law is the source of most of my chagrin when it comes to malapropisms like that. All I can say is: I definitely married the correct sister.

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Then there is the other one that is related to the, "here comes an S" vs the plural issue.

Feast your eyes on the following. And I do realize I sound like an ass, but I cannot contain myself.

"The Brown families home was robbed last week. " Use the plural when you finally need an apostrophe? This was your chance and you blew it! *groan*

Ok, NOW pull the trigger'S.

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31 minutes ago, MrSmith said:

You know it's supposed to be "nip it in the bud", right? I hope you're joking because if I have contributed to the propagation of the corrupted phrase, well .... that's going to be a stain on my karma that may never be gotten out.

Yes, I know the correct saying for stopping something early, although I almost never say it. But I think "nip it in the butt" is hilarious, which is why I will be looking for situations to use it.

12 minutes ago, forumfish said:

I'm sure my fellow grammar/punctuation police officers have heard this story, but being a fan of the Oxford comma, this made my little pea-picking heart happy:

http://www.legalreader.com/missing-oxford-comma-cost-oakhurst-dairy-10m/

I saw that and maintain that the problem isn't a missing comma, but a possible lack of parallelism in the list (depending on the meaning). As it is written, "packing for shipment or distribution of agriculture produce" is one item because all the items in the big list are gerunds, and "distribution" is not. If the writers had meant distributing to be a separate item included in the list, they should have written "packing for shipment and distributing." With or without the comma, that would have been grammatically correct because "distributing" would be parallel with all the items in the big list, but not parallel with "shipment." If they really wanted to be clear, they should have used semicolons. Clearly, they did not have an overly pedantic proofreader of any kind -- one who favors Oxford commas or one who does not.

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Remember when some of us were kids in grade school and they harped on the use of "I?" The harping was so heavy that I hear people use "I" all the time when "me" is correct. It makes me sad.

God help me, I make mistakes, and I could be wrong here (oh, the horror and shame.)  Sometimes I need a comma and don't put one. I can't see the comma key and am in denial about my glasses :-) (or can't find them)

Anyway, I've heard, "The anniversary party is for you and I." Nails on chalkboard.

"It's between you and I." nails/chalkboard.

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I'm a little weird. (Oh, that ship has already sailed.) But sometimes I have a secret fear of making an error while I am here mocking someone else's error. Just me? Alrighty then. :-)

Maybe we should start a thread about secret fears.

Heh. Karma almost got me when I almost typed, "secret fear'S." Let me go ahead and pack my handbasket to hell.

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4 hours ago, Qoass said:

My irritation is that I was taught by the office manager at my first full time job that if your work day starts at nine, that means that you are present, your coat is off and your computer is on by nine o'clock.  These days, I feel like I'm the only one in my office actually working when the day begins instead of trickling in at 9:05 or later in time to chat with my co-workers, play with my phone and consider the coffee options.  It makes me feel quite justified in not staying late if it is not absolutely necessary.

I'm salaried, so I don't have to log my hours, and I'll admit to coming in a few minutes late or getting coffee/breakfast after the work day officially starts at 8:30am, but more often then not lunch consists of a sandwich at my desk, and many days I'm in the office well past 5:30pm when the work day officially ends, that I don't care if I "waste" a little time like that in the morning.  And by the way, I'm waiting for a conference call to start, so I have a few minutes to check PTV.  I hope no one else is wasting company time posting here... ;-)

Edited by Moose135
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Not me. I'm home with a not-very-sick boy. He probably isn't really sick, but he did throw up a little this morning, so it's best he stay home.

But now I'm thinking we need to have a camera on the front porch so I can see if the salespeople come by when I'm not home. We had two today, both trying to sell us AT&T, although the first tried to say she was there because they'd had a lot of people in the neighborhood complaining about their service. It was such a dumb ruse. Shouldn't they know who has AT&T and who has complained without knocking on doors? Why not just tell me she'd like to sign me up? And why would telling me people have complained about service get me to sign up? I said no because most people I know around here who have AT&T have had bad experiences and if we change, we're going to investigate it first and do it online or through a place with an office here, not some random door-to-door solicitor. Actually, our landlord has a satellite TV place, so we'd probably go through him if we wanted a change.

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2 hours ago, auntlada said:

I worked part-time in a university office when I was a student, and the admin assistant liked to get there 5-10 minutes early to get her coffee and get settled in before starting actual work -- answering the phone, doing anything on the computer, etc. HR told her she was not allowed to do that because if she was in the office -- even if it was just getting coffee and taking her coat off -- she was working, and the university had to pay her for that time. (Of course, coming in five minutes after her workday was supposed to start was late no matter what she was doing.)

It's very weird, and counter-productive,  to treat people that way.   There are people who can walk in and start work within moments.  You see them on Tv and in movies, walking down a hallway, barking orders, taking phone calls, etc. before even taking off their coats.   There are other people (like me)  who need a few minutes to transition from one thing to another.   After driving, parking, walking to the office, I need s little time to shift gears before any actual "work"  gets done.  Work places have to be flexible to adapt to different styles.

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1 hour ago, ari333 said:

Remember when some of us were kids in grade school and they harped on the use of "I?" The harping was so heavy that I hear people use "I" all the time when "me" is correct. It makes me sad.

God help me, I make mistakes, and I could be wrong here (oh, the horror and shame.)  Sometimes I need a comma and don't put one. I can't see the comma key and am in denial about my glasses :-) (or can't find them)

Anyway, I've heard, "The anniversary party is for you and I." Nails on chalkboard.

"It's between you and I." nails/chalkboard.

Sorry, but the WORST use is the one that I first heard on Bachelor/ette and Amazing Race shows, and is starting to seep into regular non-TV use:

"__________  and I's relationship"   as in "the best thing about Pat and I's relationship is  how much fun we have."   Or, "I'm really worried about the future of Pat and I's relationship." 

Does that even feel right coming out of your mouth?  because I can't even say those words aloud. 

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No, but nothing else does either. Pat's and my relationship, I guess is the correct way, but it sounds funny coming out of my mouth (not least because I don't even know a Pat). In real life, it would be much easier to just say "our relationship," but probably on TV, the producers want the people to mention names. I do hear people saying your weird construction there in real life, though, and I want to smack them and yell, "Our! Our!"

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2 hours ago, MrSmith said:

You know it's supposed to be "nip it in the bud", right?

Butt is correct in my house since my big goof of a dog tends to give those he finds dear a "nip" on our backsides.  It's very gentle, but can happen at very unexpected times.

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I get annoyed when I see someone accuse a person of "Back-peddling"  instead of back-pedaling. 

Peddle means to sell  something.  Pedal is what you do on a bicycle.  if you're reversing your decision, or going back on a promise, you're back-pedaling. 

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I can see if the salespeople come by when I'm not home. We had two today, both trying to sell us AT&T,

Why are you answering the door if you aren't expecting someone?  It is truly liberating to realize you don't have to go to the door just because some one is knocking, or answer the phone just because someone is calling.  I've realized that, when my living room light is on, people at my front door can see me sitting on my sofa and they probably wonder why I don't get up to respond to their knock.   Rest assured none of those people want to give you something.

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2 hours ago, backformore said:

Sorry, but the WORST use is the one that I first heard on Bachelor/ette and Amazing Race shows, and is starting to seep into regular non-TV use:

"__________  and I's relationship"   as in "the best thing about Pat and I's relationship is  how much fun we have."   Or, "I'm really worried about the future of Pat and I's relationship." 

Does that even feel right coming out of your mouth?  because I can't even say those words aloud. 

OH. DEAR. GOD>

3 minutes ago, Quof said:

Why are you answering the door if you aren't expecting someone?  It is truly liberating to realize you don't have to go to the door just because some one is knocking, or answer the phone just because someone is calling.  I've realized that, when my living room light is on, people at my front door can see me sitting on my sofa and they probably wonder why I don't get up to respond to their knock.   Rest assured none of those people want to give you something.

So much word.

And I hate those who beat the living hell out of the door as if to say, "I will MAKE you answer the door." um... nope.

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2 hours ago, backformore said:

It's very weird, and counter-productive,  to treat people that way.   There are people who can walk in and start work within moments.  You see them on Tv and in movies, walking down a hallway, barking orders, taking phone calls, etc. before even taking off their coats.   There are other people (like me)  who need a few minutes to transition from one thing to another.   After driving, parking, walking to the office, I need s little time to shift gears before any actual "work"  gets done.  Work places have to be flexible to adapt to different styles.

Mr Angeltoes (who is a union man) explained this to me the other day that it's not up to HR.  It's a legal thing.

I am working a temporary job in the warehouse of a store with a beach/surfing theme doing shipping and receiving.  Our "uniform" is jeans or shorts, sneakers and one of the company t-shirts.  You can come to work looking like you just went nine rounds with an alley cat and they don't care as long as you're following the dress code.  I worked for years in businesses where I had to wear business casual and look professional with hair and makeup done nicely.  This current job is heaven to me.  I can run a comb through my hair, slap on enough makeup so that I won't scare any small children that I may encounter on the street, lace up the shoes and be out the door.  It's a relief not to have to think up what I'm going to wear every day.

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31 minutes ago, Quof said:

Why are you answering the door if you aren't expecting someone?  It is truly liberating to realize you don't have to go to the door just because some one is knocking, or answer the phone just because someone is calling.  I've realized that, when my living room light is on, people at my front door can see me sitting on my sofa and they probably wonder why I don't get up to respond to their knock.   Rest assured none of those people want to give you something.

Years of habit. When I was growing up, it was always a neighbor or friend.

The first time today I was actually expecting my husband with lunch. Someone knocked rather than ring the doorbell, and I figured his hands were full so he couldn't unlock the door. He actually did knock 15 minutes later.

Also, I live in hope that one day a Girl Scout will knock on the door again (even though they don't go door to door any more) and ask if I want to buy cookies. Assuming I have money, the answer is always yes.

Edited by auntlada
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Another thing that drives me nuts is getting phrases wrong: "by in large", "nip it in the butt", "one in the same" are some examples. 

Add "in lieu of" to the list, when the speaker means "in light of".    "In lieu of today's events in London, flags have been lowered to half mast."    Really?   In place of today's events in London?  

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4 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

"Butt naked" is inexcusable, yet has become ubiquitous. It's buck naked, people. BUCK.

And the BUTT-crack of dawn. 

The crack of dawn is the very beginning of the day - when sunlight first cracks through.   It has nothing to do with butts.

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5 hours ago, Quof said:

Why are you answering the door if you aren't expecting someone?  It is truly liberating to realize you don't have to go to the door just because some one is knocking, or answer the phone just because someone is calling.  I've realized that, when my living room light is on, people at my front door can see me sitting on my sofa and they probably wonder why I don't get up to respond to their knock.   Rest assured none of those people want to give you something.

Yes they do -- they want to give you the secret of how to achieve eternal salvation.  

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31 minutes ago, backformore said:

And the BUTT-crack of dawn. 

The crack of dawn is the very beginning of the day - when sunlight first cracks through.   It has nothing to do with butts.

Oh, come on! That one's funny and we know it has nothing to do with butts. Although, I usually say "the ass-crack of dawn".

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30 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

"Butt naked" is inexcusable, yet has become ubiquitous. It's buck naked, people. BUCK.

Ha!  

In college we called the second floor fraternity house  porch, which was a great area to hang out and drink and talk and look over the campus, The Buck. When my pledge class asked why is it called that, it came from the story that a couple guys in the 1970's spent an entire year sleeping out there instead of in their rooms. They did so buck naked. And that was that. From then until my chapter got kicked out years after I graduated, that space was The Buck. 

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