Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Blergh]

1 hour ago, PRgal said:

I grew up where a box of chocolates was rationed and meant to be eaten over a longer period of time (a box of 12 could last as long as two weeks if it was meant for two people).  My husband, however, could eat half the box in one day.  :(

That sounds like my late father who grew up during the Depression. He would eat maybe one piece of candy from a box and insist on saving the rest 'for later' then never eat it or let anyone else eat it but above all refused to throw it away even decades later. It was only after a serious case of food poisoning that he relaxed that edict-  a little.

 Oh, and he had relatives in the Old Country who'd ship him baked goods when he was a child but since air mail was way over anyone's budget, they'd literally be shipped over and took at least a month to reach the States by which time the confections would be stale. Fast forward the last part of his life, these very same baked goods could be instantly flown over at virtually no extra cost and even could be found in stores here-  perfectly fresh. Yet, my late father would open the boxes then refuse to start eating them until at least a month had passed -because he had grown to like the stale baked goods that  reminded him of his childhood.

[DeLurker]

3 minutes ago, Blergh said:

Yet, my late father would open the boxes then refuse to start eating them until at least a month had passed -because he had grown to like the stale baked goods that  reminded him of his childhood.

I imagine that getting the packages of baked goods in his childhood, stale or not, was a tangible evidence of love and affection.  I think that is really touching.

My Mom grew up in Taiwan in a rural farming area.  First they were occupied by the Japanese and then by the Chinese.  She stopped going to school somewhere around the 2nd grade because 1) the schools were constantly being bombed and 2) the family needed her to go to work.  Normally it would be the oldest children who left home and went to work, but because her older sister literally would not have survived away from home, she went.  By 10, she was a live in nanny for an American officer and his wife - this was probably in Taipei.

Needless to say, that causes some of her hard code to be different than most people.  She stockpiles food and keeps everything.  She hasn't reached hoarder level, but she has way more stuff than any person needs.  But she needs it.  When I go to visit, I normally go through the various food stockpiles and eliminate what I can.  I'll donate what is still in good shape and toss anything that is questionable.  She sincerely appreciates my efforts, but we both know the next time I visit it will need to be done again.  On the plus side, if there is ever a food shortage or an emergency situation where you should be stocked up, you want her as your neighbor.

[GHScorpiosRule]

So. I haven't been here in quite some time, but I need to vent, and why not here? Although, I'm not sure if this is a peeve or not, and maybe should go in the Chit Chat thread? If so, then maybe a moderator can move it over if it doesn't belong here.

Ahem. 

Sorry to speak in a word salad manner.

I have Kerataconus, which means I have to wear specialized lenses in order to see; soft lenses don't work, and gas permeable hard lenses which lay just on the pupil, or is it iris? were too painful. Plus, with age and family history, I need bifocals, but that isn't possible, because of my condition, bifocal contact lenses wouldn't work. So, a few months ago, I got Scleral lenses, which cover my entire eye, and short of having a cornea transplant (which I can't afford just now, what with still being in treatment for my breast cancer), is the best thing ever. I don't need to utilize the CVS "reading" glasses to read or increase the zoom on my computer.

So, I'm due for my license renewal, and because I'm over 40, I have to take the vision test. Which I failed. And here's my peeve: It's so blasted unfair and stacked against me. The fourth "line" of letters is so tiny and small, (that while driving, I've never seen any signs that have print so tiny in all my life), that I couldn't read them. So now I have to have my eye doctor complete the form, stating it's okay for the MVA to renew my license. I'm not legally blind. I can see so much better with these new lenses; I just don't understand why I'm expected to read letters that are a half inch long in order to be able to renew my license. I really didn't think I would fail, because my vision is so much better with these lenses!

Fortunately, I'd already had a conversation with my eye doctor about this months before, and she said she would provide the information with no problem. I should have just gotten the report from her then and just given it to the MVA. With my luck, they probably would have rejected it, and said that no, my doctor has to complete their form.

Things have changed in the past five years. Before, you would get you license when you showed up to renew, and had your picture taken. You just had to wait until they laminated the new picture with the new expiration date. Now? You get your picture taken; you verify the information, and then take the stupid vision test. If you pass, you get issued a temporary license, and your new permanent one is mailed to you within a week.

Sigh. 

The whole thing is just so bloody stupid.

[Quof]

I'm not sure what jurisdiction you are in, GH. I haven't had to do anything but have my picture taken to renew my license since I was 16, and I'm past 40.  Perhaps there is an age at which we have to take a vision test, but I haven't heard of it.  

Which raises another pet peeve. When one suggests that people over a certain age should have to do a road test to renew their license, the response is "Age discrimination!!"  It has nothing to do with age, on its own (yeah, lets ignore the statistics that senior have more accidents per mile driven than any other age group. So you may not drive far, but chances are great that you will have an accident while doing it.)  It' s the fact that, when you are in your mid-70s, you haven't had your driving skills assessed in 60 years.  Cars have changed, road conditions have changed, and like it or not, your health, vision, and reflexes have changed.  If you can pass the test, drive on, my friend. 

[PRgal]

2 hours ago, DeLurker said:

I imagine that getting the packages of baked goods in his childhood, stale or not, was a tangible evidence of love and affection.  I think that is really touching.

My Mom grew up in Taiwan in a rural farming area.  First they were occupied by the Japanese and then by the Chinese.  She stopped going to school somewhere around the 2nd grade because 1) the schools were constantly being bombed and 2) the family needed her to go to work.  Normally it would be the oldest children who left home and went to work, but because her older sister literally would not have survived away from home, she went.  By 10, she was a live in nanny for an American officer and his wife - this was probably in Taipei.

Needless to say, that causes some of her hard code to be different than most people.  She stockpiles food and keeps everything.  She hasn't reached hoarder level, but she has way more stuff than any person needs.  But she needs it.  When I go to visit, I normally go through the various food stockpiles and eliminate what I can.  I'll donate what is still in good shape and toss anything that is questionable.  She sincerely appreciates my efforts, but we both know the next time I visit it will need to be done again.  On the plus side, if there is ever a food shortage or an emergency situation where you should be stocked up, you want her as your neighbor.

I think war can do that to you.  Despite rationing, my grandmother didn't stockpile like your mom, but I think the (junk food) rationing I grew up with was just something that was passed down to me since my grandmother was my main caregiver growing up - even though my mom and uncle were not poor as kids (i.e. they ALWAYS had food to eat, a roof over their heads, clothes to wear (probably thanks to school uniforms most of the week), etc...).  My paternal grandmother doesn't stockpile either and her life was more like your mom's (she, too, has a second or third grade education at best). 

[GHScorpiosRule]

11 minutes ago, Quof said:

I'm not sure what jurisdiction you are in, GH. I haven't had to do anything but have my picture taken to renew my license since I was 16, and I'm past 40.  Perhaps there is an age at which we have to take a vision test, but I haven't heard of it.  

Which raises another pet peeve. When one suggests that people over a certain age should have to do a road test to renew their license, the response is "Age discrimination!!"  It has nothing to do with age, on its own (yeah, lets ignore the statistics that senior have more accidents per mile driven than any other age group. So you may not drive far, but chances are great that you will have an accident while doing it.)  It' s the fact that, when you are in your mid-70s, you haven't had your driving skills assessed in 60 years.  Cars have changed, road conditions have changed, and like it or not, your health, vision, and reflexes have changed.  If you can pass the test, drive on, my friend. 

I live in MD. I'm not sure when they instituted the rule that once you were over 40, you had to also take a vision test when renewing your license. I barely passed five years ago, by squinting; of course, I was wearing gas permeables then. And the gas permeables are the ones that are best suited for my condition, but they fucking hurt, so I opted for second best and comfort.

[FormerMod-a1]

I've always had to take a vision test to renew my license.  Every single time.  In MI, PA and MN.  It seems odd to me that they wouldn't asses people's vision for driving.  Of course, I've also always been told you only need to have good vision in one eye to pass.  If you normally wear glasses (whether just to drive or all the time), you take the test with glasses and it's noted on the DL that you wear them.

[BookWoman56]

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Things have changed in the past five years. Before, you would get you license when you showed up to renew, and had your picture taken. You just had to wait until they laminated the new picture with the new expiration date. Now? You get your picture taken; you verify the information, and then take the stupid vision test. If you pass, you get issued a temporary license, and your new permanent one is mailed to you within a week.

@GHScorpiosRule, I feel for you. Last year I had to have cataract surgery in both eyes, and the preceding year I had to go renew my license in person. TX makes you renew in person every other renewal, and you have to have a new picture taken/get vision test at each in-person renewal regardless of age. When I took that vision test, I had not realized just how much my vision had deteriorated from the cataracts, but managed to pass it more or less by squinting. I quickly made an eye appointment after that, because my difficulty passing the vision test made me aware that the cataract issue was progressing much faster than the optometrist had originally thought. The scary part was that at that next eye appointment, less than one full month after passing the vision test, my optometrist informed me that my vision was bad enough that I did not meet the state requirements for driving.  I did not get the cataract surgery until about 6 months later, for a variety of reasons, and so had to depend on my daughter to drive me around when needed. Fortunately, I got ADA accommodations so I could work from home and then switched positions a couple of months later to one that allowed full-time telecommute even without ADA accommodations. Post-surgery, though, I did have to go back to the DMV to get my license updated to remove the restriction for driving only with corrective lenses, and sure enough, I had to get another vision test for that. I'd have been horrified if they had not required one though, because there was no reason for them to take my word that my vision had miraculously improved to no longer need glasses for driving (or watching movies in theaters, etc.). My vision improved much more than the eye surgeon expected; he was thinking I would still need glasses post-surgery but my vision is now essentially 20/20. I still have to use those generic drugstore glasses for reading, though.

25 minutes ago, Quof said:

Which raises another pet peeve. When one suggests that people over a certain age should have to do a road test to renew their license, the response is "Age discrimination!!"  It has nothing to do with age, on its own (yeah, lets ignore the statistics that senior have more accidents per mile driven than any other age group. So you may not drive far, but chances are great that you will have an accident while doing it.)  It' s the fact that, when you are in your mid-70s, you haven't had your driving skills assessed in 60 years.  Cars have changed, road conditions have changed, and like it or not, your health, vision, and reflexes have changed.  If you can pass the test, drive on, my friend. 

Yep, per the CDC website both teens and older adult drivers have disproportionate shares of accidents and fatalities, for slightly different reasons. There's a reason that single teen males have the highest auto insurance premiums. Back when I was writing training materials in the insurance industry, we recommended to parents that if they buy a new car because of an additional driver in the family, that instead of giving the new teen driver the older family car, they give the new car to the teen driver because newer cars have better safety features so the kid is less likely to die in an accident. With seniors, there can obviously be some decline in cognitive functions that affect driving skills. However, my radical idea is that everybody should have to take a road test once every decade. Based on the fairly horrible driving I see on a routine basis, there are too many drivers out there in general who need a refresher course in safe driving. 

[GHScorpiosRule]

The funny thing is, if not for the stupid keratoconus, my vision is a little bit better than 20/20! And my peeve, if you will, is over the fact that in order to pass, I have to be able to read letters that are less than than an inch, when even the smallest print on a road sign is four times the size of what's on the stupid vision test.

Sorry to keep harping, but it's infuriating.

[Bastet]

Here you only have to take a vision test when you do in-person renewal, and that doesn't happen very often.  (My license expires next year, and I'm sure I'll have to do it in person then because, although I can't remember specifically how long ago it was I last had to, I know it was a long time ago.)  Whenever that was, I just memorized the letters on the eye chart while I was waiting my turn; I had much better vision then and thus didn't always wear my glasses while driving, and I didn't want the "corrective lenses" restriction on my license in case I happened to be pulled over while not wearing them.  It turned out, though, I could read the letters (without glasses) just fine anyway.  The next time?  Unless it's that big E at the top, there will be no way in hell I can read it without my glasses.  Which I now wear all the time (because of the whole not being able to see clearly more than a few feet in front of me without them thing), so restrict away.

[janestclair]

I've never had to have my vision retested for a license renewal, thank God. My vision is terrible and I'd fail that thing so badly.  I can't see tiny little letters, but I have no problem driving.  Cars, pedestrians, and lettering on road signs are all generally big.  I have to get a doctor's note to renew my permanent disability placard though, because apparently the state of NJ doesn't know what permanent means.  I get that people abuse the system and use their deceased relative's card or whatever.  But I'm clearly still a living, licensed driver. As long as I continue to renew a license, I shouldn't have to re-certify that I am disabled.  The system is stupid. I do think once you start drawing Social Security, you should probably have to redo your driver's test.  Reflexes aren't what they used to be. My dad is 75, and still a pretty good driver, but plenty of older people are not. 

[Moose135]

The last time I renewed my license in New York, back in 2008, I had to pass an eye test.  I have a friend who is an optometrist, so I went to him, since my last full eye exam was 20 years earlier during an Air Force flight physical.  I went down to renew the license, handed the guy the form from my friend saying I had passed an exam a week earlier, along with the application.  He said "Read the third line..."   I pointed to the eye exam note, he said, "Oh, OK!"  I thought about asking him to read the third line, but I didn't know how that would go over.

A couple of years ago, when I had to transfer my license to North Carolina, I had to pass an eye test...as well as a 25 question written (well, computer-based) test.

[auntlada]

I dread the day someone gets the idea to make us take eye tests here or even another driving test. It would probably include parallel parking, and I still can't parallel park except in our Geo Metro because it is tiny. There are only a few places in town to park parallel and nowhere that you can't just park in a nonparallel space.

Edited January 14, 2017 by auntlada
It's important to specify the type of parking.

[DeLurker]

A bazillion years ago when I took my first driving test (Florida) you didn't have to parallel park.  Which is something I am eternally grateful for because I simply can't unless I am in a clown car.  Had no problem doing it in my first car, but that was so tiny that I would have to make a true effort not to do it right. 

[Quof]

I became an expert at parallel parking when I lived for years in the downtown of a city with very limited off-street parking, so I had to parallel park every day in front of my own home.  There were also a lot of one way streets, so I became adept at parallel parking on either side of the street.   Ironic, considering I failed my first driver's test based solely on the parallel parking.   In order to save time, they made you parallel park first.  If you didn't make it in three attempts, you never left the parking lot of DMV. I guess it saved them sending instructors out for 30 minute drives with people who ultimately weren't going to pass.

[auntlada]

I took my test in a 1982 Monte Carlo. I flunked twice because I couldn't parallel park. The third time, the examiner didn't make me parallel park, and I passed. When we got back to the courthouse (the tests all started at the county courthouse), I said, "I don't have to parallel park?" I was sometimes not a very smart 16-year-old.

45 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

A bazillion years ago when I took my first driving test (Florida) you didn't have to parallel park.  Which is something I am eternally grateful for because I simply can't unless I am in a clown car.  Had no problem doing it in my first car, but that was so tiny that I would have to make a true effort not to do it right. 

That's why I can do it in the Geo Metro. All I have to do is pull in, which is good because it's a standard. I learned to drive a standard vehicle when I was 40 and we got that car. I was glad to be living in a mostly flat state, although it's not as flat as people think. Driving a standard will let you know where all the hills are.

[Bastet]

I didn't have to parallel park to get my license; unless I had panicked, it wouldn't have been a problem, as I've always been good at it, but it wasn't part of the test.  I was rather appalled at how easy the test was.  I was a good driver even at 16, and well-qualified to be licensed, but the test did previous little to actually ascertain that.  It was disturbing.

Edited January 15, 2017 by Bastet

[GHScorpiosRule]

Oh parallel parking wasn't that difficult for me, and in hindsight, I'm glad that my mom had just bought a new car that year--a Honda Accord; the other car we had was a Bonneville Station Wagon. I don't know if I would have passed having to parallel park using that car!

Of course, I failed the first time, because in MD, they have the county police officers as the "instructors" while you take the driving test. You take the written one first, and after you pass that, then you scheduled the driving test, which took place behind the MVA's building in the parking lot.

The reason I failed was because the cop who was the instructor weighed at least 250 pounds. I just know, when he sat in the passenger seat, I felt the car tilt, he was so fat, and that unnerved me, and ruined my concentration, to the point I couldn't do the parallel parking.

I returned the following week, and thank be to the car gods that I got a cop in fairly good shape, even though he was a heavy smoker and I got a 100%.

I actually find the three point turns more...difficult than parallel.

[riley702]

12 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I'm having a possibly unfounded peeve moment. About 12 hours ago, I shared a fundraiser link on FB about a cat at the shelter where I volunteer; the cat needs medical care. I don't know if something is wrong with FB or something--maybe people aren't seeing it for some reason?--but only three of my supposed animal-advocate friends have even acknowledged it. As someone who makes sure to donate to my friends' causes and pass along their information, I'm pissed and I'm just...really sad. I post a photo of some cool boots I got or about some documentary I'm watching, oh, it's 65 "Like"s and a barrage of comments. But this? Crickets. WTF? I seriously think I might cry.

That sucks and I don't think it's unfounded at all. You can send me the link in a PM.

[TattleTeeny]

Oh my god, you'll make me cry again, only for another reason! I can do that but PLEASE do not feel obligated!

[riley702]

Happy to help and I'll share on FB, too.

[theredhead77]

13 hours ago, PRgal said:

I grew up where a box of chocolates was rationed and meant to be eaten over a longer period of time (a box of 12 could last as long as two weeks if it was meant for two people).  My husband, however, could eat half the box in one day.  :(

 

13 hours ago, DeLurker said:

Mom?  Dad?  Is that you?

 

11 hours ago, Blergh said:

That sounds like my late father who grew up during the Depression. He would eat maybe one piece of candy from a box and insist on saving the rest 'for later' then never eat it or let anyone else eat it but above all refused to throw it away even decades later. It was only after a serious case of food poisoning that he relaxed that edict-  a little.

My mom used to do this. She would receive Sees Candy (we live in CA, it's prevalent here) and stash them 'for later' but never open them or let me or my dad open them. She finally relented when I called her out on a box that had been in the cabinet for years. She relented and let us open it. To her "shock", they went bad. About 15 years ago I decided I was going to purge their kitchen while she was on vacation (my dad was home to "approve" what I tossed). We found spice packets from, I kid you not, 1977.

[backformore]

9 hours ago, Quof said:

Which raises another pet peeve. When one suggests that people over a certain age should have to do a road test to renew their license, the response is "Age discrimination!!"  It has nothing to do with age, on its own (yeah, lets ignore the statistics that senior have more accidents per mile driven than any other age group. So you may not drive far, but chances are great that you will have an accident while doing it.)  It' s the fact that, when you are in your mid-70s, you haven't had your driving skills assessed in 60 years.  Cars have changed, road conditions have changed, and like it or not, your health, vision, and reflexes have changed.  If you can pass the test, drive on, my friend. 

Yeah, my dad bitches about this every year.   Since our birthdays are the same week, he always call me to ask what I had to do to renew my license.   I say "I just mailed in the form, cause I've had no accidents or tickets"  They make him take a driving test and vision test every year, and he cannot shut up, bitching about how unfair it is.   This year, I asked him, joking of course, but to make a point -  "Do any of your friends have to re-take the exam every year?"   He said "hell no, all my friends are dead."   He's 91. 

He also calls me to gloat when he passes the test, and I always joke that he is supposed to tell me when he's going so I can call the DMV and let them know not to pass him.  In all seriousness, though, we're all kind of hoping he doesn't pass, so we can convince him to move to  a senior living facility.  He won't do that as long as he can drive. 

3 hours ago, auntlada said:

I took my test in a 1982 Monte Carlo.

I was a great parallel parker, years ago, living in the city.   UNTIL I had to drive my husband's monte carlo.  I think it was a 78 or so.  Those suckers are TOUGH to park, with the long hood.  I always felt it was like maneuvering a canoe.

[backformore]

13 hours ago, PRgal said:

I grew up where a box of chocolates was rationed and meant to be eaten over a longer period of time (a box of 12 could last as long as two weeks if it was meant for two people).  My husband, however, could eat half the box in one day.  :(

Did your husband grow up with siblings?   For me, growing up with brothers, if I had something special, I'd want to save it, but if somebody found it, all bets were off.    

My eating habits, when it comes to treats, is affected by how I grew up.   When we all (6 of us)  had candy - easter or Halloween -  I would want to save the "good"  stuff, while my brothers ate through theirs in no time at all.    BUt then there would be a day when we were all at school, when my mother decided that whatever wasn't eaten was stuff we didn't want, and she'd put it all in a big bowl, for whoever wanted it.  My sister and I learned to hide stuff in our room, but we'd get in trouble if Mom ever found it.  (and she did)

My two sisters and I  share a love of chocolate.  we recently discovered that,  as adults, we have "emergency"  chocolate, hidden  in a cabinet, so our husbands and kids can't get to it. 

[PRgal]

9 hours ago, backformore said:

Did your husband grow up with siblings?   For me, growing up with brothers, if I had something special, I'd want to save it, but if somebody found it, all bets were off.    

My eating habits, when it comes to treats, is affected by how I grew up.   When we all (6 of us)  had candy - easter or Halloween -  I would want to save the "good"  stuff, while my brothers ate through theirs in no time at all.    BUt then there would be a day when we were all at school, when my mother decided that whatever wasn't eaten was stuff we didn't want, and she'd put it all in a big bowl, for whoever wanted it.  My sister and I learned to hide stuff in our room, but we'd get in trouble if Mom ever found it.  (and she did)

My two sisters and I  share a love of chocolate.  we recently discovered that,  as adults, we have "emergency"  chocolate, hidden  in a cabinet, so our husbands and kids can't get to it. 

Yes, he has an older sister (and yeah, I'm an only child).  Makes sense now. :)

Edited January 15, 2017 by PRgal

[DeLurker]

My Dad would always get my Mom a box of the chocolate cherry cordials (those words but what order?) for Valentine's and the kids would each get one of the small kid heart shaped boxes.  Mom would eat one or two, tuck them away for later (which could mean 2 - 9 months).  Inevitably, she would go to get another one at some point and they would all be gone except one or two.  My brothers and I did not touch Mom's gift, but Dad....well that was another story.

We did not get much for Easter - we dyed eggs , had a big meal and got some token candies.  Halloween was our main sugar rush,  After we got home from trick or treating, a big candy trade took place and we negotiated like Wall Street financiers for the various treats we wanted/had up on the block.  I always gave my Dad all the Mary Jane's I got (the peanut butter chews) - I didn't like them at all and he loved them.  Always good to hit Dad's soft spot for the future.

[janestclair]

I have successfully parallel parked exactly one time - to pass the driving test.  I was using my dad's full size pick up truck, and it was pouring rain. To this day, I don't know how I did it.  I'd previously failed for hitting a cone pulling out of the the parallel parking portion - twice.  These days, if I have to park on the street somewhere, I look for a spot on the end of the block so I can just pull in.  

[BookWoman56]

I took my first driving test in my parents' Lincoln Continental, back when those things were essentially boats. When we got to the part where I should have had to parallel park, the guy giving me the driving test just laughed and said it wouldn't be fair to make me parallel park it, so we skipped it. I've had to take one driving test since then, when I moved to a different state and missed switching over my license by the deadline, and I did not have to parallel park for that test. Not sure why they skipped it, as my daughter took her driving test in the same state within the past year, and they made her parallel park. However, neither state required that you parallel park successfully to pass the test; you just had to pass overall. 

[Maharincess]

This isn't a peeve but its annoying as hell. I hate when people stretch out the silent letter in a word, I see this "I LOVEEEEEEE it" all the time and it makes no sense. It still just says love. If you wanted to stretch a letter in love wouldn't it be looooove? 

I know it's stupid but it bugs. 

Now my next peeve. JTMacc and Moose, (I think you're the only guys here), I hope this doesn't offend you but my question is this...at what age do men become incapable of listening and hearing?  I used to have the theory that once the testicles dropped, the ears closed but I'm wondering if they ever knew how to listen. I don't know any man that's capable of listening.  For three days last week I was telling L that once Tuesday was over we wouldn't have any more rain until next Wednesday.  After three days of me telling him this, he tells me the same exact thing like it's brand new information.  My friends say their men are the same way. 

I was terrible at parallel parking. I taught my kids to drive a manual, they hated it at the time because their friends were all learning how to drive "normal" cars as they put it but now they both have manual cars and don't like driving anything else. 

[ratgirlagogo]

I haven't driven a car in a long time, but growing up in Los Angeles I of course learned to drive early.  My dad had me practice early morning weekends  in the Los Angeles Zoo parking lot (this was back in the early 70s and I believe there are actually  posted signs there now forbidding you from doing this) in the various family cars (all manual, all rear engine).  The driving test did include both parallel parking and three point turns and I swear to you my dad was much, much prouder of my brother and me for both passing our driver's tests on the first try than he was about both of us getting into college.

If  I DID still have to have a car for some reason I'd much prefer a stick.  And don't get me going on self-driving cars - the whole idea gives me nightmares.

Edited January 15, 2017 by ratgirlagogo

[bilgistic]

My 35-year-old male boss hears nothing I say. It could be because he's too busy staring at his own reflection, though.

[ratgirlagogo]

Gee, it's not every day you encounter someone who's actually deafened by their own beauty.

[Maharincess]

I miss driving so much.  I miss the freedom of being able to hop into my car and go anywhere I want to go any time I want to go.   Now I have to either ride the para-transit bus or wait for somebody to give me a ride.   And I REALLY miss my beautiful '65 Mustang.  That car was in bad shape when I bought it 15 years ago. I spent a lot of time and money to restore her, she was beautiful when I was done.  And yes, I named her Sally.   The guy who bought it from me has sent me a few pictures but all they do is make me sad that somebody else is driving it now. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

8 hours ago, janestclair said:

I have successfully parallel parked exactly one time - to pass the driving test.  I was using my dad's full size pick up truck, and it was pouring rain. To this day, I don't know how I did it.  I'd previously failed for hitting a cone pulling out of the the parallel parking portion - twice.  These days, if I have to park on the street somewhere, I look for a spot on the end of the block so I can just pull in.  

I flove parallel parking.  I've gotten into spaces that were so tight you could barely walk sideways between the cars in either the front or the back when I was finished. 

I think I was inspired because I was in New York once watching a woman trying to get out of a space where the adjacent cars had pretty much blocked her in, and I watched her going back and forth, and then she got out, and it turned out she had gotten IN that space.  I couldn't believe it.

These days I'm driving a small sports car, but it has a manual transmission so the careful inching is tricky.  But I like nothing better than having a passenger say, "No way," and then I do it.

[ABay]

Aced my driving test, parallel parking, 3 point turn, in a car without power steering. It was automatic, but I did later get a car with a stick shift--just so no one else in my family could "borrow" it.

My theory of men not listening is that they can't hear above a certain octave. Every so often I hear a colleague on the phone having to repeat almost every sentence at least once and I ask "talking to a man, right?" And I'm always right. I usually want to wrestle the phone away and shout into it "listen the fuck up, asshole!" Jeez. 

I could not be happier that Ringling Bros is shutting down. I hope the human performers find employment elsewhere but the treatment of the nonhuman performers makes me so angry, I cheered when I read the news.

[JTMacc99]

16 hours ago, Maharincess said:

Now my next peeve. JTMacc and Moose, (I think you're the only guys here), I hope this doesn't offend you but my question is this...at what age do men become incapable of listening and hearing?

Heh. Since I've become comfortable with who I am, I am almost never offended by any broad statements about men. I either think "Yep, but not me. I'm different" or "Yep. Sounds about right."

For this one, I probably fall in the middle of my two typical answers. To be fair for most of this decade, I didn't have anybody I was supposed to be listening to, so I don't have a lot of current evidence for a proper evaluation. I do know that I request important information, like appointments, be texted or e-mailed to me. You can't pass through he kitchen and say "I made dentist appointments for the kids at 10:00 on January 25th" and expect me to remember ANY of that.

The wonderfully funny Larry Miller, you might remember him as the store manager in Pretty Woman who did the sucking up, did a bit about men not hearing a word women say. He described it as the whistling sound a radio makes when you are turning the dial between radio stations. Every once in a while we hear a word, but mostly just white noise.  Or has he described it: "bzzzzzzzzbzzzzz car's in the shop bbzzzzzzsssssss"

[backformore]

21 hours ago, Maharincess said:

Now my next peeve. JTMacc and Moose, (I think you're the only guys here), I hope this doesn't offend you but my question is this...at what age do men become incapable of listening and hearing?  I used to have the theory that once the testicles dropped, the ears closed but I'm wondering if they ever knew how to listen. I don't know any man that's capable of listening.  For three days last week I was telling L that once Tuesday was over we wouldn't have any more rain until next Wednesday.  After three days of me telling him this, he tells me the same exact thing like it's brand new information.  My friends say their men are the same way. 

Yeah, the are things that I have told my husband again and again that somehow he doesn't hear.   It's not like JTMac's example of a date or a detail, it's more ongoing things.   For example, I work, so I don't cook every night, but I do a couple nights each week.   I have asked Hubby, again and again, that it would be nice if he ASKED what he could do to help.  After 30 years of marriage, no, he doesn't.  But he THINKS he does.  because he will go into the kitchen, and stir something, or arrange something.  He will  take a cutting board that I'm about to use again, and put it in the sink, or change the garbage bag when I'm in the middle of cutting vegetables, and I turn to put something in the bin, and there's no bag.  If I complain, his answer is "but you say you want me to help!"  No, what I want you to OFFER to help, so I can then TELL you what would be helpful - set the table, open something for me, get something I need off the top shelf of the cabinet. 

And it's not just that.  If we plan to do something, He will look occupied,  and I assume he's busy, then he'll tell me later he was waiting for me, and was impatient because I was taking too  long at whatever I was doing.  I tell him  I can't look at him and decide if he's watching Tv, reading, whatever, because he wants to, or if he's doing those things to fill the time because he's WAITING for me to be finished. 

It comes  down to communication.  He often believes that he knows what's going on in my head, while I want him to talk, ask, communicate.   He acts based on what he assumes I want, without checking to see if his "psychic powers"  are accurate.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

I'm having a possibly unfounded peeve moment. About 12 hours ago, I shared a fundraiser link on FB about a cat at the shelter where I volunteer; the cat needs medical care. I don't know if something is wrong with FB or something--maybe people aren't seeing it for some reason?--but only three of my supposed animal-advocate friends have even acknowledged it. As someone who makes sure to donate to my friends' causes and pass along their information, I'm pissed and I'm just...really sad. I post a photo of some cool boots I got or about some documentary I'm watching, oh, it's 65 "Like"s and a barrage of comments. But this? Crickets. WTF? I seriously think I might cry.

I don't mean to hijack (or quote myself, haha!) but I wanted to add a quick note that the cat is now recovering at the animal shelter after a visit to the local vet. He still has a few issues to be dealt with and is not 100%, but he is on the mend. The fundraiser yielded about half the amount that was posted, and a few of my friends did end up making donations* or at least sharing the info on FB.

* My peeve exponentially multiplied at one point though, I have to admit. After so much radio silence with the fundraiser link, I posted a photo of a T-shirt revamp I did. While it was pretty cool if I say so myself, it got about 40 "Like" thumbs and a bunch of comments in the course of two hours. Meanwhile, it took four posts about the cat over the course of a weekend to earn less than a quarter the amount of acknowledgment of the stupid, dumb shirt. So, I'm still a bit discouraged by that. But the cat, as of now, is doing OK.

 

Edited January 18, 2017 by TattleTeeny

[topanga]

17 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

I don't mean to hijack (or quote myself, haha!) but I wanted to add a quick note that the cat is now recovering at the animal shelter after a visit to the local vet. He still has a few issues to be dealt with and is not 100%, but he is on the mend. The fundraiser yielded about half the amount that was posted, and a few of my friends did end up making donations* or at least sharing the info on FB.

* My peeve exponentially multiplied at one point though, I have to admit. After so much radio silence with the fundraiser link, I posted a photo of a T-shirt revamp I did. While it was pretty cool if I say so myself, it got about 40 "Like" thumbs and a bunch of comments in the course of two hours. Meanwhile, it took four posts about the cat over the course of a weekend to earn less than a quarter the amount of acknowledgment of the stupid, dumb shirt. So, I'm still a bit discouraged by that. But the cat, as of now, is doing OK.

 

Glad the cat is doing better. 

I don't know--there's something about FB and donating money. Maybe your friends have been bombarded with donation requests from other people and places. Or maybe they're simply tired of FB posts with people telling them to do something: Repost this! Say Amen! Share this! Copy and paste this to your status!  Send this greeting to 10 of your contacts so you won't break the chain of blessings!

I know this was very different. And very legit. But sometimes people just want to log into FB to see a funny meme or hear about a friend's vacation. Not saying it's right. But we're a little superficial sometimes. 

[TattleTeeny]

Oh, I know, I know...and maybe I am being too sensitive, I can admit that--I do not do well with "animals in peril" scenarios. However, I'm also not a rapid-clicking "blind sharer"; I always write a post to go along with it, so (A) people don't have to bother to read the link (because OMG HORRORS, haha!), and (B) to indicate why it's of particular interest to me (in this one I made sure to mention that this particular shelter is the one I work with; I thought my local friends might respond a bit to that). Pair that with the fact that I'm a chronic donor/supporter--I've got cookies I can't eat and ugly Xmas wrapping paper hogging up my giftwrap room (ahahhaaaa, it's just the oversized "junk" closet with our water heater in it!).

I understand that one should not give in the hope of getting in return (it doesn't sound like I know that but I do); I just expected a little more attention from a specific handful of my animal-loving friends and the ones whose causes I try to help out with.  

I do agree with you on that stupid "share this random unfounded nonsense" and "comment yes if you hate child abuse" stuff. But that's why I avoid that crap and also try to add a personal touch to the causes I do promote.

Edited January 18, 2017 by TattleTeeny

[AgentRXS]

Quote

Oh, I know, I know...and maybe I am being too sensitive, I can admit that--I do not do well with "animals in peril" scenarios. However, I'm also not a rapid-clicking "blind sharer"; I always write a post to go along with it, so (A) people don't have to bother to read the link (because OMG HORRORS, haha!), and (B) to indicate why it's of particular interest to me (in this one I made sure to mention that this particular shelter is the one I work with; I thought my local friends might respond a bit to that). Pair that with the fact that I'm a chronic donor/supporter--I've got cookies I can't eat and ugly Xmas wrapping paper hogging up my giftwrap room (ahahhaaaa, it's just the oversized "junk" closet with our water heater in it!).

Chances are, they may have not even checked to see who was posting it; they just saw a fundraiser-type post and likely kept scrolling. Especially if their feed in inundated w/other fundraising posts. I'm FB friends with many of the dog/cat rescues who pull animals from my shelter; a lot of times they just send out a mass PM to people on their friends list with fundraising information.  Also, that way you can see whose "read" the post and ignored it, heh. At least then it will give you an idea of whose willing to help or who isn't. And you're more likely to get a "Please don't include me on this type of post" response then straight up ignored. Just a suggestion.

Edited January 18, 2017 by AgentRXS

[TattleTeeny]

I'm thinking that it might be best for my own mental health and neuroses to NOT see who has seen and ignored, haha! 

I think that some of my "lower tier" (I don't mean that to sound like it does!) friend may have scrolled on by (fine, I get that); it's just a few of the "top tiers" who have me very, very confused by this. Again, it's not even about money at all--I hope I didn't give that impression.

Quote

Now my next peeve. JTMacc and Moose, (I think you're the only guys here), I hope this doesn't offend you but my question is this...at what age do men become incapable of listening and hearing?  I used to have the theory that once the testicles dropped, the ears closed but I'm wondering if they ever knew how to listen. I don't know any man that's capable of listening.  For three days last week I was telling L that once Tuesday was over we wouldn't have any more rain until next Wednesday.  After three days of me telling him this, he tells me the same exact thing like it's brand new information.  My friends say their men are the same way. 

This will sound so gloom-and-doom, but I wonder if there are simply some of us on this planet who don't register to the majority? (I sound loony--the cat, this, whatever--what the hell's up with me?!) I am one of them and it's a big reason I have a therapist (she has to listen to me, ahahhahaha!). Not to make people listen to me but to figure out (A) why it's not a big deal that they don't, and (B) how to just go about my business when it happens, I guess?

At work, it involves a whole lotta "CYA" saving of e-mails, making notes that I did whatever, screenshots of IM conversations with my boss. At home, it just makes me annoyed (or sad, depending on what it is), but that's just an aspect of my BF I should get used to after all this time. And, with my family, I've kind of just given up; for instance, no one is going to remember to tell me about get-togethers, much less recall that I don't eat meat at them (unless, of course, there's a snarky remark to be made about protein or thinness, haha!), and my younger sister (she's generally louder and more attention-seeking than I am) is always going to be credited with getting me into the things I like. Some days it makes me feel bad, other days I just don't care and do whatever I want anyway--that's the upside to this weird anonymity! That and an almost detrimental independence that sometimes baffles people!

Edited January 18, 2017 by TattleTeeny

[auntlada]

Is that why a server will fill the tea glasses of everyone at the table except me? I'd think it was just a bad server, but it has happened a lot to me, even when my glass is the emptiest one at the table and there are only two or three of us.

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, topanga said:

Or maybe they're simply tired of FB posts with people telling them to do something: Repost this! Say Amen! Share this! Copy and paste this to your status!  Send this greeting to 10 of your contacts so you won't break the chain of blessings!

Every once in a while I almost kind of think about considering getting on Facebook because not being on FB means you never know anything about what anybody is doing, but god damn I hate this kind of mindless shit, so thanks for reminding me why choosing isolation is the right course.  I figure I have only two or three more decades on the planet, so I'll just deal.

[Moose135]

On 1/15/2017 at 5:22 PM, Maharincess said:

Now my next peeve. JTMacc and Moose, (I think you're the only guys here), I hope this doesn't offend you but my question is this...at what age do men become incapable of listening and hearing?  I used to have the theory that once the testicles dropped, the ears closed but I'm wondering if they ever knew how to listen. I don't know any man that's capable of listening.

Sorry, I missed this earlier... ;-)

I think my ex would tell you we stop listening about the time the man says "I now pronounce you..."  After that, you pretty much sound like Charlie Brown's teacher.  And no offense taken, you get used to general statements like that.  Years ago, I'm in the car with the wife and her mom, and we go through some drive thru for lunch.  As I pull up to the window, there were two young ladies there, probably college age, and one turns to the other and says "Men are slime!"  I said "Excuse me?"  She turned and saw me and exclaimed "NO, not you!"  We just laughed about it, and that became the go-to line for Mom and the wife...

[Jaded]

2 hours ago, topanga said:

Or maybe they're simply tired of FB posts with people telling them to do something: Repost this! Say Amen! Share this! Copy and paste this to your status!  Send this greeting to 10 of your contacts so you won't break the chain of blessings!

I've learned how to ignore most of that mess and to just scroll on by. I used to want to reply and say how stupid and idiotic I thought posts like that were. If someone won't stop with it I'm not embarrassed to admit that I've reported people to FB for spamming and have gotten replies back in my Support Inbox there saying that person's post has been removed. Occasionally when it comes to outright lies being reposted I'll go to sites like Snopes or Hoax Slayer to reply with links debunking the original post. I've had to unfollow some family due to them posting religious memes all day just about daily. I don't want to read or think about what any ones blood can do besides saving lives when it comes to donating and/or receiving. 

[Moose135]

26 minutes ago, Jaded said:

Occasionally when it comes to outright lies being reposted I'll go to sites like Snopes or Hoax Slayer to reply with links debunking the original post.

I used to do that, but usually I would just get more crap in response.  I've made use of the new FB "report fake news" feature for a few of them.

[TattleTeeny]

1 hour ago, auntlada said:

Is that why a server will fill the tea glasses of everyone at the table except me? I'd think it was just a bad server, but it has happened a lot to me, even when my glass is the emptiest one at the table and there are only two or three of us.

I regularly struggle when trying to pay for my food, often after having sat without drinks and silverware for a pretty long time. I also have to do the "...wait, can I have...oh well, s/he'll be back" routine very often. Ooh, and god forbid I try to order a drink at a bar (I'm reasonably cute and a big tipper, so what gives?!). Now, the servers and bartenders are never "bad" to me or anything--quite the opposite--and having been a server, I am never a nasty customer or anything; it's just that the getting-noticed part is a head-scratcher. I'm going to guess that it's a "squeaky wheel" kind of thing for them; they likely always have a few of those to cater to on any given night. (I think my sister is a "squeaky wheel" too, which accounts for my family issues.)

I mean, whatever--but if I have been gifted with the powers of invisibility, I would like it to be more fun on a daily basis!

[Guest]

On ‎1‎/‎15‎/‎2017 at 5:22 PM, Maharincess said:

Now my next peeve. JTMacc and Moose, (I think you're the only guys here), I hope this doesn't offend you but my question is this...at what age do men become incapable of listening and hearing?  I used to have the theory that once the testicles dropped, the ears closed but I'm wondering if they ever knew how to listen. I don't know any man that's capable of listening.  For three days last week I was telling L that once Tuesday was over we wouldn't have any more rain until next Wednesday.  After three days of me telling him this, he tells me the same exact thing like it's brand new information.  My friends say their men are the same way. 

I'm sure this is not what you meant.  But I know three men who are losing their hearing as they age.  They legit lose the ability to hear female voices before pretty much anything else. Not kidding. Doctor tested.

[riley702]

You lose hearing on the higher notes first, so that makes sense. My Dad couldn't hear the wind chimes or the microwave beeping that it was done.

Edited January 19, 2017 by riley702