Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[backformore]

Yes, I hate when cashiers comment about my purchases.  Worse, to me, is that the grocery I go to sells cloth bags - with the names of sports teams on them.   SO that's what we have - because my husband bought some. 

When I am buying groceries, and the bagger is putting them in a bag with a BEARS or SOX  logo,  I hate being asked

"so what are their chances this year?" 

Because I am oblivious to sports, and go "what?   who?" 

They indicate the logo on the bag.

And I have to say "yeah, I don't know." 

 

Now, I will confess that when someone is in line and buying multiples of some item, I don't JUDGE, but I use my imagination to concoct a story to entertain myself.  Like the couple buying several boxes of wine, 4 bags of Cheetos and a 6 pack of paper towels.   I think they're having a binge party, and are anticipating that one or both of them will be puking by midnight (hence the paper towels). 

Hey, it's either that or read the headlines on which celebrity is screwing, divorcing, or overdosing this week.

[DeLurker]

Hey, it's either that or read the headlines on which celebrity is screwing, divorcing, or overdosing this week.

Or who lost their beach bod* or how they got their beach bod.

 

* Probably not through the multiple wine boxes and bags of Cheetos.

[MargeGunderson]

Or who lost their beach bod* or how they got their beach bod.

 

* Probably not through the multiple wine boxes and bags of Cheetos.

 

But if they did, I would by that magazine.

Or who lost their beach bod* or how they got their beach bod.

 

* Probably not through the multiple wine boxes and bags of Cheetos.

 

But if they did, I would by that magazine.

Edited April 21, 2016 by MargeGunderson

[Maharincess]

Marge, you can say that again! Lol.

[Petunia13]

Trader Joes employees are told to conversate with the customers and chit chat. It's a chain wide philosophy.

I have often worked second or third jobs as an adult and one this yr for holidays was as a cashier at a huge huge liquor store and I wouldn't conversate much I would just smile and say hi. The register screens face both clerks & customers at an angle so I'd enter the age being a few yrs younger than they looked when I guessed (typing 1978 when they looked mid 40s ect) Quite a few liked that. I smiled a lot sincerely and nodded. I think people really like that. My lanes would always have more people flock to it.

Edited April 22, 2016 by Petunia13

[Bastet]

There are several articles out there on the invention of "conversate," and back-formation in general, but I think this one is the most informative.

[Quof]

"That's not even a word!!!" 

Monica Geller

[Qoass]

Yet again I was walking down the sidewalk while two people were walking towards me and I had to hop into the gutter because it never occurred to them to walk single file for, oh, four seconds.

 

Grrrrrr.

[glowlights]

Yet again I was walking down the sidewalk while two people were walking towards me and I had to hop into the gutter because it never occurred to them to walk single file for, oh, four seconds.

Grrrrrr.

 

OMG this happened to me yesterday on a trail and I've been pissed off ever since! Two men in business casual attire (as you do in a nature preserve) glared at me and refused to yield so I literally got forced into the weeds. There is so much bad trail etiquette around here and it just baffles me. The park service has put up signs but some people think they're above having manners. Even on the paved portions where they have gone to the expense of painting lines to designate right/left lanes with big signs saying to KEEP RIGHT some people just walk where they want and cause others to have to veer. Where does that sense of entitlement come from?!?!?

 

And then on my way home someone was riding their bike illegally on the sidewalk and almost hit me from behind, then acted like I'd got in their way. Hey asshole, what do you think the BIKE LANES are for? And why do you think the bike laws don't apply to you?

 

So that's my pet peeve today and I'm sorry it happened to you, too, Qoass.

 

p.s. I like conversate a lot more than orientate. :)

[auntlada]

I just keep going in my half of the walk and look at them straight on so they know I am not moving. And then I don't move.

[Bastet]

p.s. I like conversate a lot more than orientate. :)

 

The latter I'm used to from a British friend, so I'm the opposite.

[glowlights]

I just keep going in my half of the walk and look at them straight on so they know I am not moving. And then I don't move.

 

Yeah, and that's a good policy. In this case I made eye contact and said "excuse me" but they just glared at me and plowed forward. If I didn't move they would have made body contact and I didn't feel like getting physical with two strange men and no one else around to witness or help... :(    Sheesh. And people wonder why I've become antisocial.

 

On the bright side, it was a lovely day. One particular songbird gave me a full concert as I passed by. :)

[Sun-Bun]

Okay, that reminds me: what is UP with the dumbasses who choose to ride their bikes on busy sidewalks nowadays?

I live in a fairly touristy downtown area, and I can't tell you how many times I've seen idiot tourists who have rented those public bikes parked everywhere at B-stations, ringing their bike bells at people walking on the sidewalks to move for them!

I lost it on the last moron who did that to me. I was caught in a sidewalk throng on a busy day, and this asshole starts ringing his bell at me. I finally turned around and yelled, "In case you haven't noticed, this is a sidewalk full of people WALKING; and it's *illegal* in this state to ride your bikes on the sidewalk!!"

This idiot man had the nerve to say back, "No it's not."

Me: "Yes it is!"

Idiot: "No it's not."

Me: ((muttering under my breath)) "Oh just fuck off already."

Isn't it illegal to ride bikes on sidewalks in most areas? I was always taught that...why isn't this actually practiced and enforced more then??

Edited April 22, 2016 by Sun-Bun

[Qoass]

I ride my bike on the sidewalks only if I can see that there are no pedestrians in sight because there's less chance of getting "doored" and they tend to have less broken glass than the sides of the street.  However one time, I was walking on the sidewalk and some kid around 10 was behind me on his bike.  He kept barking  "Excuse me!"  at the top of his belligerent lungs obviously having been taught that "excuse me" is magicspeak for "give me what I want right now" so I waited until he was right up in my business then whipped around and said, "Yes?".  He was so startled that he fell off his bike.  And I thought it was hilarious because I'm a mean ol' person who doesn't care for children.

[Mountainair]

The amount of people, grown assed adults no less, who think the world revolves around them is astonishing and anger inducing. When the adults act this way it's no wonder their children are entitled douche bags as well.

[glowlights]

Isn't it illegal to ride bikes on sidewalks in most areas? I was always taught that...why isn't this actually practiced and enforced more then??

 

In the US? Some places leave it up to the individual cities. Here it is illegal, but it is rarely enforced because the cops don't have resources to patrol all the sidewalks. But if you do it in front of a cop you will get a warning or a ticket. They stopped a guy last month and I will admit to lingering at the crosswalk to gloat a little. I don't walk in their bike lanes, after all.

[backformore]

I was always told it was illegal to ride a bike on the sidewalk unless you're under 12.

 

The only place near me where I have no problem with bikes on the sidewalk is a street that bridges over the expressway, and has an entrance ramp leading to the expressway.   on that stretch, bikes NEED to be on the sidewalk, because that street is too dangerous, but the only way to get from the east end of town to the west end.

[Bastet]

Yeah, riding a bike on the sidewalks is illegal in my city (no idea what the exception is for kids), but our bike lane system is piss poor, so it's unreasonably dangerous for cyclists to ride on many streets.  The city is slowly making changes as a result of grassroots activism by those who regularly bike and/or walk, but in the interim I don't care if someone rides their bike on the sidewalk so long as they do so courteously.  Which many do, but there are notable exceptions.

 

We have a lot of rude pedestrians here, especially those who, like discussed above, walk double file and take up the entire sidewalk, then expect you to move for them (by hopping in the gutter or tromping through someone's landscaping) rather than temporarily shifting.  Oh, hell no.  I will walk right into your inconsiderate self before I will do that.  It's a game of chicken, and I win.

[Petunia13]

I have always used the word conversate - I thought it meant something different than talk or informing. That it meant chit chat and fluff.

Like when something happens between people which isn't a "discussion" or "talk" but the sales people are conversating amongst each other while the store is a hot mess or a person conversating with a stranger killing time in line.

And I don't know where I leaned that phrase and definition from but I'm guessing my Bavarian grandparents. Is it a weird thing to say?

Edited April 22, 2016 by Petunia13

[ABay]

The word I'd use is converse.

[Quof]

Okay, that reminds me: what is UP with the dumbasses who choose to ride their bikes on busy sidewalks nowadays?

I was in an upscale part of an upscale British town when a cyclist came flying by on the sidewalk.  A distinguished looking older gentleman, wearing a tweed jacket with elbow patches, yelled out in his upper crust accent "This is not a bloody bicycle path, you twat."   So that's what I yell at them.

[Maharincess]

I always balk a little when I see the thread titled "gratefulness" and smiles. It seems like it should be gratitude. I know gratefulness is a word, it just seems like it shouldn't be one.

I hear the word conversate a lot on Judge Judy.

The thing that's bugging me lately is the word "ton". It's so over used and used incorrectly, there is NO such thing as tons of light, tons of space, tons of time etc. etc. None of those things can be measured in tons!!

It really annoys the crap out of me.

Edited April 23, 2016 by Maharincess

[Petunia13]

I hear the word conversate a lot on Judge Judy.

I haven't been on that show.

Maybe it makes me sound ignorant or country.

[auntlada]

Yeah, and that's a good policy. In this case I made eye contact and said "excuse me" but they just glared at me and plowed forward. If I didn't move they would have made body contact and I didn't feel like getting physical with two strange men and no one else around to witness or help... :(    Sheesh. And people wonder why I've become antisocial.

 

On the bright side, it was a lovely day. One particular songbird gave me a full concert as I passed by. :)

I'm not always smart about these things, just often belligerent.

[Jaded]

I hear the word conversate a lot on Judge Judy.

 

I hate when people say "I borrowed them money..." on Judge Judy and other court shows. Judge Judy calls out grammar mistakes a lot. I watch her and Judge Mathis when the show I usually watch is a rerun since he's on against it. I don't want to fill my DVR with court shows along with everything else it's overfilled with. 

***My posts keep double posting and it's driving me crazy!***

Edited April 23, 2016 by Jaded

[Petunia13]

I think dialects and culture also affect language. My mother grew up poor and is a woman of color and we code switch and use phrases that probably sound weird to some.

[Bastet]

Is ["conversate"] a weird thing to say?

 

In most places, and for now, it's considered a made-up word, an improper example of back-formation.  You could subject yourself to a real earful (as it were) by Googling "Is conversate a word?" but I think the article I linked above does a nicer job.  In some regions/cultures, it's a word.  In others, it's not.  And, with the way language evolves, the day may very well come that it's widely accepted. 

 

I have quite the love/hate relationship with the evolution of language, but that's for another day.

Edited April 23, 2016 by Bastet

[Sweets McGee]

I hate when people say "I borrowed them money..." on Judge Judy and other court shows. Judge Judy calls out grammar mistakes a lot.

I live in Wisconsin and people here say that all the time. I think it's a regional thing. I'm not from here originally so I say "loan them money" like a sane person. :)

[Demented Daisy]

I have a lot of family in the south and frequently hear, "That'll learn 'em."

 

My mother corrects me every time I say, "if you would" instead of "if you will" at the end of a sentence.  I explain to her that I picked it up when I lived in England (military spouse here) and it's just a linguistic tic for me.

 

For example, in The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Pt 1, Haymitch said, "Indulge me for a moment, if you would."  That's how I use the phrase.

[Whimsy]

We've beat the "conversate" discussion into the ground. It was an interesting lesson to learn about a word some have never heard of (me included) but it's time to put that one to rest since this is the Pet Peeves thread. Thank you!

[Quof]

To the women of my gym.  Well, one in particular.  I get that this is a locker room, and as you change between gym clothes and street clothes, you will be in your underwear for a time. Perhaps you will even be naked for a time. Do what you've got to do and get on with it.  I don't understand your choice to parade around the locker room fully naked for more than a few moments, but whatever.  What I really don't understand is why you need to stand naked in front of the full length mirror to watch as you slather lotion slowly over your entire body.  Don't you know where your body parts are? Do you need to see them?  But for the love of God, why do you need to stand in the centre of the room, rubbing lotion over your entire body, then bend over to slowly lotion up your legs so that I walk around the corner and get a view that only your gynecologist should have????

[magicdog]

I've also had a teller, tell me I was, "Free to go," after handing me my receipt.  Oh goody I thought I was being held hostage in a CVS.

 

 

Ha!  Makes me think that person is either a devout viewer of "Law & Order" and similar procedural shows, and/or has lots of run-in with the law (speeding tickets and the like).  Or maybe has an image of authority.

 

As for the bicycle issues, I've heard of many instances all over the US with cyclists causing trouble for pedestrians (many are attached to "Critical Mass" but I have never met anyone who was part of it or a similar group).    

[bilgistic]

To the women of my gym. Well, one in particular. I get that this is a locker room, and as you change between gym clothes and street clothes, you will be in your underwear for a time. Perhaps you will even be naked for a time. Do what you've got to do and get on with it. I don't understand your choice to parade around the locker room fully naked for more than a few moments, but whatever. What I really don't understand is why you need to stand naked in front of the full length mirror to watch as you slather lotion slowly over your entire body. Don't you know where your body parts are? Do you need to see them? But for the love of God, why do you need to stand in the centre of the room, rubbing lotion over your entire body, then bend over to slowly lotion up your legs so that I walk around the corner and get a view that only your gynecologist should have????

Ha! I can't understood this thinking. I guess it's because I was brought up with a super-strong dose of Baptist shame about the body and all things related. If I could take a shower with my clothes on, I would. Edited April 23, 2016 by bilgistic

[Bastet]

I can understand applying lotion in front of the mirror to make sure everything is rubbed in (on the places you can't see just by looking down), and I'm not someone who has issues being naked in front of strangers in locker rooms, at spas, etc.  But choosing a mirror in the center of communal space and then bending over is a bit much, yeah.

[zxy556575]

Quof, Miss Manners would probably advise you to speak directly to the woman or go to the gym manager, but that's a lot of awkward confrontation. I would just continue to avert my eyes.

 

My high school used to have student hall monitors who would give tickets for going up the down staircase and other infractions. They should have added a citation for Bending While Naked, because that's just nasty. There's no reason not to put on underwear before doing the lotion routine.

 

Do schools and gyms these days still have communal showers? Caring about being naked in front of other women was probably knocked out of me back then. The only times I'm liable to be unclothed in public now are medical settings and for massages, and the only emotion I feel is sympathy for the providers who have to see it.

Edited April 26, 2016 by lordonia

[Quof]

I would just continue to avert my eyes.

That would involve entering the room with my eyes closed. Because the first thing you see when you round the corner from the door is the mirror, and an up close and personal view of where the speculum goes.  Oh, I'm sorry, is that tasteless?  Well, you just have to read it.  I have to see it.

Edited April 24, 2016 by Quof

[ratgirlagogo]

 

ETA:  An actual pet peeve - My cat gets very peeved if I get an excessive amount of text notifications in the morning or if I don't get up when my alarm goes off

OH HOW I WISH that our cats would wake me up if I don't get up when my alarm goes off.  That would be genuinely helpful.  Unfortunately they wake me up when THEY wake up, hours before I have to get up.

[BookWoman56]

To the women of my gym.  Well, one in particular.  I get that this is a locker room, and as you change between gym clothes and street clothes, you will be in your underwear for a time. Perhaps you will even be naked for a time. Do what you've got to do and get on with it.  I don't understand your choice to parade around the locker room fully naked for more than a few moments, but whatever.  What I really don't understand is why you need to stand naked in front of the full length mirror to watch as you slather lotion slowly over your entire body.  Don't you know where your body parts are? Do you need to see them?  But for the love of God, why do you need to stand in the centre of the room, rubbing lotion over your entire body, then bend over to slowly lotion up your legs so that I walk around the corner and get a view that only your gynecologist should have????

Because ... exhibitionist? Narcissistic? Needs to be the center of attention? All of the above? Nudity doesn't bother me but I think it's rude/inconsiderate to do what she's doing when other people may be uncomfortable with it. I'll admit I would not be able to resist the temptation to ask her if she's practicing for her next porn video.

[Bastet]

Right?  That has to be deliberate.  While I am pretty casual about nudity (mine or others'), that doesn't lead to me being oblivious to the surroundings and circumstances.  There's no way I would just somehow not think about the fact I was bending over naked in the middle of a common space!  She has to know what she's doing. 

[ElDosEquis]

Cell phones, People who clutch cell phones like they are life preservers.

 

Especially the simpletons who get to the cashier and are handicapped because they only have one hand to get their money, card out - use the card reader - give the cashier coupons or get their change. Worse?

 

Talking on the phone while dealing with the cashier - then telling your fucking call to wait a minute because cashier needs your attention.

 

When you have to pull out your cell and call to see what kind of ice cream, sauce or toilet paper to buy, pull you and your basket OUT OF THE WAY - I need to get moving.

 

Stop with the loud conversations, I am going to stand next to you and eavesdrop, to see how uncomfortable you get.

 

​Stop giving you kid your cell phone and then yelling at them when they start to playing with it.

 

Stop walking like about like a zombie while you have your head screwed into your phone, I have almost hit you with the car and hope I never do.

 

Stop driving and peeking at your cell phone, no matter what you say, you get 150 times stupider when you do.

 

Stop with the stupid cell tones rings or whatever they are. Elton John's "The Bitch is Back" maybe cute and a joke when your girlfriend or wife calls, but it's annoying, stupid and shows what a moron you are.

[DeLurker]

To the women of my gym.  Well, one in particular.  I get that this is a locker room, and as you change between gym clothes and street clothes, you will be in your underwear for a time. Perhaps you will even be naked for a time. Do what you've got to do and get on with it.  I don't understand your choice to parade around the locker room fully naked for more than a few moments, but whatever.  What I really don't understand is why you need to stand naked in front of the full length mirror to watch as you slather lotion slowly over your entire body.  Don't you know where your body parts are? Do you need to see them?  But for the love of God, why do you need to stand in the centre of the room, rubbing lotion over your entire body, then bend over to slowly lotion up your legs so that I walk around the corner and get a view that only your gynecologist should have????

Wow.  I'm on the more modest side so I could never bring myself to shower at school - just tried to make sure my PE classes* were right before lunch cause I got to go home at lunch and I would shower there.  As an adult, I would change into my gym clothes at home, go work out, go home and shower.

 

*Being an office aide had perks.

[Wiendish Fitch]

The phrases "these ones" and "those ones" drive me absolutely batty. The worst part is, I think they're technically correct, but I still hate them because they sound so clunky and ignorant, not to mention redundant. We know the "ones" you're referring to, just say "these" and "those"!

[Maharincess]

Never mind.

Edited April 25, 2016 by Maharincess

[hoosier80]

Pet Peeve of the day:  Saying I need you to do xxx at 6 p.m. Then of course not ready at 6 p.m., and it turns into more than xxx, but a list of stuff.  Timeline to be sent out with specifics, but no.  Nothing.  No direction, not on time, date ends up being changed.   Yeah I love having my weekend all jacked up due to your inability to plan ahead.  This was work related, but I realize it could apply to non work stuff, too (and has happened).  Waited around an hour or more each time for something that literally took 5 minutes or less.  Just glad I did get paid for the work stuff.  When it happens with the non work stuff, I'd be pissed off and have no extra cash to show for it.

[Qoass]

I prefer the exhibitionists at the gym to the shy ones who take up a shower stall to put their clothes on.  You can get dressed anywhere but there's only one place I can wash my hair.  Put on a towel and get out.

[stillhere1900]

I always seem to get the cashiers at Trader Joe's that comment on my purchases. "Wow, you REALLY like those frozen pizzas!" "Are those chocolate bars good?" "Kitties sure seem to like our cardboard scratchers! Let us know how it goes with yours!"

Leave me alone with my sad single lady purchases!

Speaking of cardboard scratchers.  We bought one on Saturday. The cat keeps rubbing against it but hasn't scratched on it yet.

Edited April 25, 2016 by stillhere1900

[Sun-Bun]

I had to break up with a longtime friend several weeks ago. I hated to do it and my door is still open ajar for her if she truly wants to re-enter my life, but I'm just too old and over her mind games anymore to allow her to constantly friend shame me.

Which brings me to my pet-peeve: friends((mostly female)) who expect you to read their minds and know *exactly* what they need from you on their schedule.

I no longer have the time or patience to play guessing games:

You want me to visit and spend time with you?

Ask me! Name a time/place and let's do it!!

But if I've offered countless invites and texts from my end and they go unanswered, pardon me if I quit trying after a while.

You get annoyed when I hang out with other friends instead of you?

Join us! You're always welcome and are never excluded!! But I'm not going to chase you down if you regularly don't show up for past invites or if you don't even bother to respond to prior texts/invites.

You don't think I call/text you enough? You think I hang with my husband too much instead of my girlfriends??

The phone works both ways: how about actually extending an invite to ME for once, instead of forcing me to constantly be on hostess duty?

Better yet, quit being such a difficult drama queen and I might actually make a point to hang out with you and your equally picky mutual girlfriends! Pardon me if I love how mellow and easygoing my husband is and how we don't bicker over petty bullshit!!

Whew....Sorry, felt good to get that out...

Guess I'm feeling less and less like the supposed "girls' girl" the Real Housewives are always mentioning for these reasons: women, especially older ones, can be so damned difficult. Probably also makes a difference that I don't have children, so I don't relate to many of the women in my local social circles.

I appreciate the simplicity of typical men as I get older---no drama or games, no cheese to match the wine, just beer, wings, uncomplicated conversation and an easygoing good time.

[Bastet]

Whenever I hear a woman say that - which isn't often other than on TV, but you're certainly not the only one - I marvel at what a different set of women we must have in our lives.  I absolutely love the company of women, whether as friends or colleagues, and haven't experienced the kind of behavior you're describing anything more than occasionally since high school. 

 

Anyway, sounds like a wise decision in cutting this friend loose but leaving the door open.  She sounds exhausting to be friends with!

[glowlights]

I prefer the exhibitionists at the gym to the shy ones who take up a shower stall to put their clothes on.  You can get dressed anywhere but there's only one place I can wash my hair.  Put on a towel and get out.

 

What? I'm not fond of getting undressed in a locker room but it would never occur to me to hog a shower stall. That's just weird. As for lotioning oneself in front of the mirror.... unless she's applying self-tanner there's no reason for that, let alone flashing her privates. Maybe she spent a fortune on vaginal rejuvenation surgery and is hoping for a compliment.

 

Sun-Bun, Sorry to hear you had to unfriend someone. (A conscious uncoupling?) I hear what you're saying about the simplicity of men. Say what they want, get stuff off their chest and then move on, don't require complicated arrangements, don't have to spend a half day at the spa getting beautiful before they see each other... I wish I knew one woman who could just come over for coffee and conversation, and not be fazed if I'm in yoga pants or there are dishes in the sink. What's up with the snobbery and formality?

[TattleTeeny]

Whenever I hear a woman say that - which isn't often other than on TV, but you're certainly not the only one - I marvel at what a different set of women we must have in our lives.  I absolutely love the company of women, whether as friends or colleagues, and haven't experienced the kind of behavior you're describing anything more than occasionally since high school. 

 

Anyway, sounds like a wise decision in cutting this friend loose but leaving the door open.  She sounds exhausting to be friends with!

Whenever I hear a woman say that, I feel like my eye-roll is visible from space, and maybe even audible; the only people I have ever known to make that remark along the lines of "[faux innocence] Oh, I just get along better with men" are attention-seeking jerks who (A) think they're expressing a really unique and profound sentiment (seriously, they all sound as if they think no one has ever had this idea before. Expected in college, annoying for adults), and/or (B) chicks who are practically begging for a response of "other women are probably jealous of you."

That said, Sun-Bun, your post and explanation did not make me think these things at all; you clarified nicely why your specific situation makes you feel this way without adding the standard and trite veiled insult toward the rest of your "catty" gender!

ETA: These people, in my experience, are often the very same ones who dramatically declare that they hate drama.

Edited April 25, 2016 by TattleTeeny