S03.E09: What Happens in San Diego…

[Ubiquitous]

I believe FI Tom called her "bootleg".

[worleybird]

Well, I guess we all know that Coca-Cola is NOT an advertiser of the show. They had to tape over the logo on the cups the boys were drinking their pop from at the taco stand.

[bichonblitz]

It looks like Swartz is kissing up to Jax, cause Jax totally has dirt on him and FI Tom.  Looks like next week Jax blabs.  I LOL when Jax swore up and down that he told Tiffany what happened complete with her responses, yet as soon as he got in the car he called her and covered his ass in case Flat Iron talks.  Ha!!

Yeah ,and he actually allowed that to be filmed. Let's show the world how I just lied my ass off to my BFF's and then call my girlfriend and lie even more. Scripted, scripted, scripted. Nobody could be that stupid all on their own. Not even Jax.

[Otherkate]

Oh lord, FI Tom sitting on the edge of that couch the next morning like an angry child was total gold. He's my favorite tv character.

[panthergirl13]

If Scheana's Turban doesn't have it's own Twitter account by now I'd be shocked.

 

I was watching with my adult daughter last night and trying to explain all the "relationships". She finally said "You know what might be easier? Just tell me who Jax HASN'T banged, ok?"

[worleybird]

When I saw FI Tom sitting on the edge of that chair, I thought...ooh Schwartz has to smell his ass!! Ugh!. But then again, maybe he likes that. LOL

[tvfanatic13]

Oh Stassi dear. That necklace you wore to lunch with Shaena must go!

[ScoobieDoobs]

It's not a no-no; I have one that's made for it too. They look the same, of course, and work OK enough--though these people are probably more skilled about it than I am.

 

 

Actually, this is pretty misguided -- flat ironing wet hair is most definitely a no-no.  Any experienced hairstylist (as well as doctors) will tell you it is.  Sure, you can do it.  You can also fry & burn off & break off & horribly damage your hair too, if that is your choice.  Cuz if you flat iron wet hair regularly, that is exactly what will happen.  Let's ask Tom Sandoval, shall we?  Cuz I doubt we'd ever see him flat ironing wet hair.  He's not just more skilled, I'm sure he wouldn't do anything which would break off his precious hair.  

 

But I think it's kinda charming Peter didn't know better.  Not sure what it is about Peter, but I can't dislike him.  Even when he's snitching on everyone else or acting kinda sleazy. I can't manage to dislike him.

Edited December 30, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[politichick]

As a bonus this episode gave me the term "bootleg chick" to add to my vocabulary. What's not to love about that?

I totally agree!

[ghoulina]

Would Kristen qualify as a bootleg chick? Inquiring minds need to know. 

[motorcitymom65]

Is there anyone in the world who was surprised that Jax banged a gal in a hotel bathroom while in San Diego? I assume Jax is constantly banging chicks in bathrooms all the time.  His girlfriend has to be the dumbest person on the planet. 

 

For me this show has become almost unwatchable. Isn't this just the same shit that went on last year and the year before? I realized last night that I actually only watch the show now because I want to hear how often they can work the word "bang" into a sentence.  

[Alison]

These dummies so conveniently (and drunkenly) forget their every move is being caught by at least three to four cameras. Three seasons in, you think that would have permeated their thick skulls by now.

Is there anyone in the world who was surprised that Jax banged a gal in a hotel bathroom while in San Diego? I assume Jax is constantly banging chicks in bathrooms all the time.  His girlfriend has to be the dumbest person on the planet. 

 

For me this show has become almost unwatchable. Isn't this just the same shit that went on last year and the year before? I realized last night that I actually only watch the show now because I want to hear how often they can work the word "bang" into a sentence.  

I'm surprised "Bang Bang" isn't the new theme song, given everyone's proclivity for that word.

[goofygirl]

Ewww. Just ewww.  Jax needs to carry his penecillin with him whever he goes, so it can be administered to whoever he's "banging" at the moment.  Tiffany seemed like a smart woman, but apparently; her brain is not what we thought it was!

 

If TPTB are paying that idiot stASSi $5K a month, they are getting RIPPED OFF!

 

[OnceSane]

Would Kristen qualify as a bootleg chick? Inquiring minds need to know.

I'd say yes. But she's also crazy. I don't know what that would be--BSC-leg?

Jax needs to be neutered, and bathed. And possibly castrated.

Oh Stassi, you know.it wasn't your idea to downplay your birthday. Bravo ain't shelling out money for a part-timer who dresses worse than my mom. I still think that's why she doesn't like Scheana, Scheana has the ability to pull focus from Stassi rather easily--this wedding is just the latest example. And Stassi doesn't want another alpha taking over her pack. Might too late.for hat, and she may have overplayed her hand with Bravo. Girl, you are not as important as you think you are.

I can't wait for Jax to go scorched earth on Schwartz (and possibly FI Tom) because Tiffany dumped him again.

Edited December 30, 2014 by OnceSane

[bref]

 

Jax needs to be neutered, and bathed. And possibly castrated.

 

And then put down.

Edited December 30, 2014 by bref

[Persnickety1]

That had to be THE most fuckin' insulting invitation I've ever heard.  Don't get me wrong -- I totally luved it.  But could Tequila/Motorboatin' Katie be any more of a loser for accepting it  . .  and as quickly as she did?  Oh T/M Katie -- girl, sometimes ya really make me chortle.  Maybe I haven't gotten around enough, but I've never actually heard of anyone who'd have the colossal nerve & gall to invite half of a couple to a wedding.  What in the fuckety fuck?  Who would do that?  Well, I guess Scheana.  And it seemed like the only reason she bothered to invite Katie is cuz La Pump pretty much ordered her to.  Sweet.

 

 

I saw it too!  Oh my, was Sandoval nearby?  He'd know for sure that's a definite no-no.  Why'd Peter even bother with a flat iron?  He always ties his hair back in that dopey pony tail.

 

 

Me neither.  WTF is with this idiot Tiffany chick?  She pretty much set him up to go chasing after other chicks.  She must be some moron. 

 

 

Er, what the hell is going on here?  What the what???  She really doesn't want to spend 3 months celebrating her birthday?  In fact, she hardly wants to celebrate it at all.  Er, huh?  OK, I have a few theories.  Given the "suburban mom" way she's dressing this season & now this thing with not caring about her birthday -- I think either ghost Patrick has replaced the real Stassi with a robot -- Stepford Wife-style or Stassi has been replaced by a pod person like in Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.  Gotta be one of those 2.

 

 

I got the impression FI has been waiting for the right op to get even with Jax & this was it.  FI seemed pretty gleeful to me in sticking it to Jax.  Me liked it.

 

Btw, Kristen needs subtitles & her own recap cuz I didn't know wtf she was talkin' bout & I didn't really care.

 

Apparently (or so we the viewers are led to believe), this Tiffany chick has an actual career and presumably a brain to go with that career.

 

I wonder if she set it up to put Jax to the test.

 

Which of course he failed to an epic degree.

 

I did love the way he tried to cover his ass by feeding Tiffany the same spoonfuls of bullshit he had just fed the Toms.

 

I could envision it when some version of the truth came out:  "You remember, baby, I told you about that, when that bootleg chick in Vegas was grabbing my junk and grinding on me and I had to hold her hair in the bathroom because she was puking and trying to hump me at the same time...Remember, I told you all about it!"

 

Yeah, longtime bullshitter here and not fooled, Jax.  Trying to spread the same lies in all directions and try to make your stories match after the fact rarely ends well.

 

Did anybody catch how or why Jax's skull of brick is busted open with sutures next week?  It looked like his big sweaty melon was intact during the last scene but in the previews for next week it's taken a beating.

 

Did I miss something or does it appear to happen in our next installment of As the Jax Worms???  

[BogoGog24]

I believe Schwartz probably really did have sex with that girl in Vegas or wherever it was, the same one he "made out" with, but claims he didn't sleep with. That could be the dirt that Jax has on him that he's referring to.

Perhaps Tiffany is a lot smarter than people are giving her credit for (aside from the fact she dated Jax). Perhaps this was a set up to test his fidelity.

[TattleTeeny]

Actually, this is pretty misguided -- flat ironing wet hair is most definitely a no-no.  Any experienced hairstylist (as well as doctors) will tell you it is.  Sure, you can do it.  You can also fry & burn off & break off & horribly damage your hair too, if that is your choice.  Cuz if you flat iron wet hair regularly, that is exactly what will happen.  Let's ask Tom Sandoval, shall we?  Cuz I doubt we'd ever see him flat ironing wet hair.  He's not just more skilled, I'm sure he wouldn't do anything which would break off his precious hair.

 

No, it's not my choice to damage my hair, which means it's a good thing that I purchased a high-end model recommended to me by the hairstylist I've trusted for over a decade, and an equally good thing that some people's damage does not equal an across-the-board definite outcome. My regularly flat-ironed-while-damp-for-years hair is very healthy (too much so, in my opinion, as it grows like a damn weed) but ol' misguided me thanks you for your pedantry! If it's exactly what unequivocally will happen, I'm still waiting… and I don't care what this Tom does, haha! Who would? (Also, I could be wrong because I've never asked, but I have my doubts that my gynecologist or allergist would have much of an opinion about flat-iron use vs. hair damage.)

Edited December 30, 2014 by TattleTeeny

[JenE4]

I did love the way he tried to cover his ass by feeding Tiffany the same spoonfuls of bullshit he had just fed the Toms.

I could envision it when some version of the truth came out: "You remember, baby, I told you about that, when that bootleg chick in Vegas was grabbing my junk and grinding on me and I had to hold her hair in the bathroom because she was puking and trying to hump me at the same time...Remember, I told you all about it!"

Yeah, longtime bullshitter here and not fooled, Jax. Trying to spread the same lies in all directions and try to make your stories match after the fact rarely ends well.

And the best part was when he was saying, Remember, I told you? And Tiffany was saying, you did NOT tell me! It's hilarious how he tries these mind tricks to try to convince people that he said or didn't say certain things--but it works like 40% of the time, yet the percentage is dropping fast! Like the scene in Schwartz's Mini Cooper where Jax was saying that Tiffany found out about the coffee with Vail because Vail tweeted it. And FI Tom was saying YOU tweeted it, Jax! And Jax was insistent that he did NOT tweet it, until FI pulls up the tweet from Jax saying Having coffee with @vailwhateverherlastnameis. But Jax definitely has a "tell" when lying. He squints up his eyes until they're practically closed and he looks down. He was doing this the whole time he was crafting the story of the bootleg check puking. It's so ridiculous! But, yes, Schwartz specifically said that he's afraid to break bro code because Jax has dirt on him, too, so apparently Sandoval feels like he has nothing left to hide but Schwartz does, which makes a little more sense why he's not willing to cut Jax off as a friend because then he will spill EVERYTHING. But how can he sleep with someone bootleg or otherwise when his GIRLFRIEND set up this whole free weekend?! That's shocking even for a scumbag like Jax. He can't keep it in his pants for ONE NIGHT?! Ooh. Miami is going to be interesting if Tiffany does go! Well, it will be either way, but even better!

Edited December 30, 2014 by JenE4

[TattleTeeny]

I believe Schwartz probably really did have sex with that girl in Vegas or wherever it was, the same one he "made out" with, but claims he didn't sleep with. That could be the dirt that Jax has on him that he's referring to.

 

Unless Jax had as-yet-unrevealed proof though, why would Tom worry? Jax already tried to tell this…didn't he? Or was that Kristen and I'm all mixed up here? Maybe I am. I'm just thinking that, because Katie already seems convinced it was only a make out *, and that Jax is always full of beans, that Jax's info wouldn't make Tom feel threatened.

But, yeah, the "admit to a lesser crime" thing is possible (and a tactic murder suspects often use in interrogations to appear more trustworthy and forthcoming).

* I don't even know why it makes a difference; if my BF made out with someone, he may as well do it all, because he's going to get dumped anyway if I find out.

Edited December 30, 2014 by TattleTeeny

[ScoobieDoobs]

If it's exactly what unequivocally will happen, I'm still waiting… and I don't care what this Tom does, haha! Who would?

 

 

Well, good luck with flat ironing wet hair.  You'll need it.  It's kinda like long-term bleaching.  The effects of long term flat ironing, can come on suddenly.  Oh, I have many friends who were fearless & didn't give a thought to how they treated their hair & were shocked & horrified & didn't understand why their hair broke off in clumps.  Me, I'll skip that horrible-looking wet-to-dry flat iron contraption & be glad to flat iron dry hair only & have great looking hair.

 

Honestly, from what I've seen of FI Tom's seemingly vast knowledge of makeup, tanning, working out & yes, styling his hair, I'd follow his advice (er, well, some of it, anyway).  He usually looks really good.  OK, last ep, his hair looked sorta strange.  When Muppet said FI's hair annoyed him, I agreed with Muppet.  It annoyed me too -- but only then.  Watch FI when he's using his flat iron.  This guy knows his way 'round a flat iron.  We could all get tips from him.  FI can't act his way outta a paper bag, but he is pretty good at styling.  Maybe another career after the Bravo dough dries up?

 

Perhaps Tiffany is a lot smarter than people are giving her credit for (aside from the fact she dated Jax). Perhaps this was a set up to test his fidelity.

 

 

I'm not so sure.  That she started up with him in the first place doesn't say much for her.  But from our entertainment standpoint, it would be kinda awesome if it was merely a test Ape-face failed miserably.

Edited December 30, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[TattleTeeny]

Well, good luck with flat ironing wet hair.  You'll need it.  It's kinda like long-term bleaching.  The effects of long term flat ironing, can come on suddenly.  Oh, I have many friends who were fearless & didn't give a thought to how they treated their hair & were shocked & horrified & didn't understand why their hair broke off in clumps.  Me, I'll skip that horrible-looking wet-to-dry flat iron contraption & be glad to flat iron dry hair only & have great looking hair.

 

Oh my god, alright! I am convinced (except maybe for the "many friends" part). Hallelujah, I have been saved from my diabolical bleaching (which I've also done for years) and flattening! In fact, I've been reborn as a curly brunette!

 

As for luck, I'll concede that maybe generally healthy hair is luck in itself (and drinking a lot of water and eating a lot of vegetables helps, I suppose). But, ahahhaha--do you think I feel sad that you call my sight-unseen wet/dry hair applian--I mean contraption--"horrible-looking"? I don't care; it looks like any other flat iron.

 

And, do what you need to do, and be whatever emotion you like about it. You should--we all should. Thanks for the concern about a complete stranger's hair; while I'm sure it is well-intentioned, it is also, quite frankly, somewhat creepy. Your friends' hair = not my hair. 

Edited because I felt like I was too mean (a little) and I don't want to get in trouble because I like chattering about this nonsense show with some of you! Sometimes watching dumb junk is what I need after a rough day of trying (and failing) to ruin my hair.

Edited December 31, 2014 by TattleTeeny

[meeeeech]

I guess that pretty much confirms FI Tom didn't sleep with anyone in Miami. He would be cowering just like Tom2 if he knew that Jax had that nuclear option in his back pocket. Or maybe he thinks all of Jax's credibility is shot after this, and no one would believe Jax anyway. I think Ariana is pretty much committed to the "nothing happened in Miami" stance so maybe he's feeling ballsy blowing up Jax's spot.

[rustyspigot]

 

Perhaps Tiffany is a lot smarter than people are giving her credit for (aside from the fact she dated Jax). Perhaps this was a set up to test his fidelity.

 

The only tests Jax would score positively on is a drug or STD test.

[TattleTeeny]

I guess that pretty much confirms FI Tom didn't sleep with anyone in Miami. He would be cowering just like Tom2 if he knew that Jax had that nuclear option in his back pocket. Or maybe he thinks all of Jax's credibility is shot after this, and no one would believe Jax anyway. I think Ariana is pretty much committed to the "nothing happened in Miami" stance so maybe he's feeling ballsy blowing up Jax's spot.

 

Oy, these people! So much time and effort on keeping one step ahead of your supposed loved ones, it's exhausting! If they'd put that much commitment into working, imagine the careers they could have! Just get new friends already, all of you! Or maybe they can't, because no one normal will take them?

I wonder if this Tiffany ever saw the show? Maybe he was somehow able to act like a regular person when he met her, or kept quiet enough that he seemed OK.

Edited December 31, 2014 by TattleTeeny

[OnceSane]

Stop being shitty to each other. My sarcasm and passive-aggressiveness meters just exploded.

[FozzyBear]

I was going to say "I hate to defend Stassi", but fuck it! I love to defend Stassi. Why not? All of these assholes deserve each other. I will defend or denigrate them as I see fit. Anyway, my point is I have no earthy idea what Stassi did to Scheana either. In 2 1/2 years I have never once understood any of the made up reasons Scheena has to be mad at Stassi. Which is odd because Stassi has given her plenty of actual reasons to be pissed, but then Scheena goes on about calling after oral surgery or how reverent Stassi has been about the wedding to end all weddings and she totally looses me. They're both basically bitchy, dramatic queen bee types fighting over which one is Lila Fowler and which one is Jessica Wakefield so I think it's a moo point. You know, a point a cow would make, who cares?

So Jax totally has dirt on Schwartz. That was an interesting reveal. Hmmm. So my evil mind always goes to a night that Jax and the Toms were alone with a bottle of vodka and things got...interesting.

[lisalionheart]

The girl really is so pathetic, and she doesn't even see it. She's all concerned about what group/path Vail picks at SUR, saying she should pick HER (Stassi's) path - YOU.DON'T.WORK.AT.SUR!!!! It wouldn't be a big deal if she was still friends with Katie and Christina and therefore appeared with them sometimes, but either haul your ass back to that shithole, or quit trying to act like you're the star of the show.

 

 

I think she uses Sur as a stand-in for the TV show--she's talking more about when a new girl joins the cast. When it comes to Tiffany "setting up" the thing--my bet is that she somehow helped them get an appearance gig at the Hard Rock. If that's the case, hopefully she got a finder's fee for connecting Hard Rock with the guys and production. I don't really get the impression she is super in to him.

 

I suspect that Jax has caused a couple of abortions, but it also seems possible to me that the one part of life in which he's responsible is condom use. That guy is dedicated to his life of partying and whoring around. Maybe it's important enough to him to use condoms.

 

Oh lord, FI Tom sitting on the edge of that couch the next morning like an angry child was total gold. He's my favorite tv character.

 

He was totally sulking! It was amazing.

 

I kinda dug Ariana telling Tom he was looking fat during the spray tan.

[OccupyMySofa]

Lisa: 'Do you want a cup of tea?'

Scheana: 'Sure.'

Lisa: 'You do? I was hoping you'd say no.'

Without even an ounce of humor.

Lisa. Is. FANTASTIC.

On an unrelated note, did anyone else notice that Jax - who's pushing 40 - is driving around with a broken outside mirror???? Dude just got off his dad's car insurance this season.

Grow. The Fuck. Up.

Also? He's not just indiscriminately sexually active and a liar, he's a fucking sociopath. Or maybe a narcissist, but not the 'let me gaze at myself in the mirror all day' kind; more like the clinical unable-to-feel-empathy kind. He gives me shivers, and not the good kind.

Edited December 31, 2014 by OnceSane
edited slut-shaming language

[Rosebud1970]

Until I watched this ep, I had no idea that San Diego, of all place, was the epicenter of debauchery.  But there it was in all its gross glory!

 

Oh, my stars!

 

I don't get what Stassi is even doing on the show.  She doesn't work at SUR, she's being alienated from the people who do, one at a time.  As of last night, the only person who hasn't let her down in one way or another is that limpet-like Scream lookalike Krista (or whatever her name is).  I don't think she has any other role to play than Stassi's personal Greek chorus.

[TattleTeeny]

Probably not a full-on textbook sociopath--I think he might feel empathy sometimes (but perhaps have no idea why…or how to spell it)--but yes, there's probably something! It's like there's a part of development that just got skipped with him. Ok, he's not my cup of tea looks-wise, but I guess I can see why someone would think he's cute. So there's that.  People seem to (initially, at least) like him and find him pleasant and personable. He goes to a therapist (probably producer-driven but let's assume it's stemming from some kind of self-awareness). He has (had?) a modeling thing going. Perhaps he's a good enough bartender (do that job right, and I think money is going to come in--there will never be a dearth of drinking customers). Perhaps the show makes it seem worse. So come on, what is this man-child's problem? He has some things going for him. So, why can't he, at age 30-whatever, at least start thinking these antics are sort of silly? I did--we all did, I assume! He's like a teenage silly girl (I'm sorry, that's a little sexist) with his love of drama that he creates!

Edited December 31, 2014 by TattleTeeny

[Ubiquitous]

I believe Schwartz probably really did have sex with that girl in Vegas or wherever it was, the same one he "made out" with, but claims he didn't sleep with. That could be the dirt that Jax has on him that he's referring to.

Perhaps Tiffany is a lot smarter than people are giving her credit for (aside from the fact she dated Jax). Perhaps this was a set up to test his fidelity.

Do we know that Tiffany exists? I don't recall seeing her...

[OccupyMySofa]

Do we know that Tiffany exists? I don't recall seeing her...

 

Wasn't she on an episode earlier this season? Pretty brunette? I remember thinking she seemed wayyyy too poised for him.

[OnceSane]

I thought she was the blonde we saw once or twice.

[FozzyBear]

Don't kill me: I think Jax is good looking. Or at least good looking enough if you didn't know anything about him and didn't get to know him at all. He's a gross person and I wouldn't even shake his hand without a rubber glove knowing what I do, but I think he's attractive enough in a douchy way. In any case I think he's much better looking than Sandoval(the scrawny, squinty eyes, bad skin combo on him grosses me out. Especially the face. The complexion is so bad.). I think Jax might also get a boost for being sort of a bigger more guy looking guy. He seems to hang around a very metro-sexual crowd and some girls aren't into the prissy looking guys. I'm not and on pure looks I might go for Jax out of his crowd (if Peter wasn't around.) Until I talked to him for 30 seconds. For my money Sandoval is the one I don't get being attractive to anyone. He and Kristen were the funkiest looking couple, in my opinion.

Edited December 31, 2014 by FozzyBear

[fliptopbox]

Honestly, from what I've seen of FI Tom's seemingly vast knowledge of makeup, tanning, working out & yes, styling his hair, I'd follow his advice (er, well, some of it, anyway).  He usually looks really good.  OK, last ep, his hair looked sorta strange.  When Muppet said FI's hair annoyed him, I agreed with Muppet.  It annoyed me too -- but only then.  Watch FI when he's using his flat iron.  This guy knows his way 'round a flat iron.  We could all get tips from him.  FI can't act his way outta a paper bag, but he is pretty good at styling.  Maybe another career after the Bravo dough dries up?

Maybe he can team up with Brad Goresky, Rachel Zoe's former sidekick. I think they'd make quite the badass stylist team. HINT HINT, Andy Cohen!!! Make that happen!

 

Tiffany needs to dump Jax, immediately. Just because he blacked out and invented a shady cover story does not mean he didn't screw that bootleg chick in the bathroom. I dunno if he's more a narcissist or sociopath or borderline personality, but definitely there's something very off about him emotionally. He needs real therapy, not that rapey eyed therapist who's about 2 seconds from tearing both their clothes off. *shudder* Jax seems to do and say things that he expects people want to hear, but when he's confronted with his lies he blows up and says that he really doesn't give a shit anyway, and never did. Then he calms down and basically turns it around on the other person for even saying anything at all. It's almost like he's a robot that is programmed with human emotions - but has no idea how to actually implement them in the real world. His looks may have gotten him this far, but now that he's 35/36/40...whatever, that isn't gonna last forever. Modeling is fickle, and while he may have been a big deal 10 years ago I am sure his ship has sailed. George Clooney, he ain't! He doesn't even have the good fortune of a big bank account to keep women interested. That whole struggling model/bartender/chunky sweater designer schtick is only gonna last so much longer...especially in LA where youth and beauty are prized above all else. If he wants to stay relevant he better start sucking up to some real celebrities, maybe he'd be able to sucker someone like Paris Hilton into being interested. She's pretty vapid. That's his type, right? Vapid and domineering. Plus it's well known she's got the herp....which I am 99.9999% sure Jax has too. Aww, twinsies!

Edited December 31, 2014 by fliptopbox

[TattleTeeny]

Don't kill me: I think Jax is good looking. Or at least good looking enough if you didn't know anything about him and didn't get to know him at all. He's a gross person and I wouldn't even shake his hand without a rubber glove knowing what I do, but I think he's attractive enough in a douchy way. In and case I think he's much better looking than Sandoval(the scrawny, squinty eyes, bad skin combo on him grosses me out. Especially the face. The complexion is so bad.). I think Jax might also get a boost for being sort of a bigger more guy looking guy. He seems to hang around a very metro-sexual crowd and some girls aren't into the prissy looking guys. I'm not and on pure looks I might go for Jax out of his crowd (if Peter wasn't around.) Until I talked to him for 30 seconds. For my money Sandoval is the one I don't get being attractive to anyone. He and Kristen were the funkiest looking couple, in my opinion.

He's good-looking enough, I'd say, if you didn't know his issues. Not my style, but not gross by any means.

This Tiffany is a brunette and pretty, and seemingly a regular adult.

Edited December 31, 2014 by TattleTeeny

[Betweenyouandme]

I think everyone on this show is fairly attractive, but it's their style or personality that makes them squicky. I prefer Stassi's momma clothes to an outfit like Kristin's petite (as in meant for girls under 5'4") green dress or Scheana's high-waisted shorts this episode. I wear some interesting things sometimes, but I try hard to be well scrubbed in the tub.

I feel like covering my head with my blanket and crying. I hate confrontation :( I'm feeling panicky.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Don't kill me: I think Jax is good looking. Or at least good looking enough if you didn't know anything about him and didn't get to know him at all. He's a gross person and I wouldn't even shake his hand without a rubber glove knowing what I do, but I think he's attractive enough in a douchy way.

 

 

Your description sounds right to me.  Hey, clearly a ton of chicks agree with you, cuz he seems to hook up very easily.  Also, I think on camera he doesn't look so great lately cuz he's always so sweaty & grubby -- for whatever reason (drugs, roids, or fill in with your guess).  But maybe in person he actually looks much better.  I remember some of the modeling shots they showed of him -- he looked really good.  But I don't know how long ago they were from.  I think he also works the bad boy thing to the max.  

 

I was looking at the crowd the guys were hangin' around in San Diego.  And Jax didn't look out of place at all -- which is saying a lot cuz I bet he was 10 to 15 years older than most of them -- well, at least the girls.

 

When I saw Vail at the SUR hostess stand, I couldn't help thinking how awful that's gotta be.  I wonder if anyone comes up to her & asks her if she used to be on Y&R.  At least if she had an office job, not everyone would know her shit.  But by taking this gig, everyone knows her downfall.  Guess I agree with the theory someone said that maybe she put out her drug probs herself, before it was put out by the tabs.  

[FozzyBear]

I think everyone on this show is fairly attractive, but it's their style or personality that makes them squicky. I prefer Stassi's momma clothes to an outfit like Kristin's petite (as in meant for girls under 5'4") green dress or Scheana's high-waisted shorts this episode. I wear some interesting things sometimes, but I try hard to be well scrubbed in the tub.

I feel like covering my head with my blanket and crying. I hate confrontation :( I'm feeling panicky.

You can come out now, I agree with you. I generally like the way Stassi dresses. I think this season she's trying too hard to look grown up and it backfires on occasion, but at least she had always looked clean, put together, and non-crazy (she saves all her crazy for personal matters). Kristen always looks like she just rolled in from a rough night on the streets and Scheena honestly looks plain cray-cray half the time. Katie usually has a nice look. I really liked what she wore to the bridal shower

[TattleTeeny]

YES! Again, not my thing, but I see the "at first glance" appeal of Jax. I also wondered the very same thing about Vail! (In relation to Scoobie's post).

Edited December 31, 2014 by TattleTeeny

[ScoobieDoobs]

As for luck, I'll concede that maybe generally healthy hair is luck in itself

 

 

There are the lucky few with exceptionally great hair like Kyle Richards . . . or Schwartzie.  Guess the rest of us can merely try to do the best we can to maintain.

 

You know, as hard as FI Tom works on his hair, I'm never all that thrilled with the way his hair looks.  My award for best hair on the show, by far, is Schwartzie.  That guy has THE most naturally gorgeous hair.  I'm fascinated & jealous at the same time.  Schwartzie, ya can have panic attacks & treat Tequila Katie like crap, throw drinks at her & cheat on her, it ain't gonna matter to me -- I'm always gonna luv your hair.

 

Carmen was sitting there very quietly listening to the sleazy Jax story being told.  I woulda liked to have heard her reaction.  Mighta been fun.

Edited December 31, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[TattleTeeny]

I am NO KYLE, by any means (though, it's all so far, so good, as I've said)--though I simultaneously want hair as long as hers and also do not want it. But yeah, I feel like, out of all of these people, Schwartz seems more "effortless" than the rest. Like, leave shit alone and it will look OK.

[DrivingSideways]

Cosign that Jax is good looking, and Stassi's outfits aren't totally terrible... it's just their horrendous personalities ruin it.  If Jax dressed and acted like a normal 38 yr old man or whatever he is, he would be attractive.  Tom Sandoval and Kristen always looked like meth addicts to me, but they both look a little cleaner now that they are separated.  But by and large, this show is not chock full of attractive folks.

[panthergirl13]

Every time I look at Jax now I remember someone (Stassi?) talking about how bad his breath is and how much he stinks in general. So any possibly redeeming qualities about his overall looks are overshadowed by that. Being stinky IS gross.

[JenE4]

Do we know that Tiffany exists? I don't recall seeing her...

I thought she was the blonde we saw once or twice.

The blonde is Carmen, as emblazoned on Jax's right arm. Incidentally, Carmen was at Scheana's shower. Scheana was telling her and Kristin about Jax cheating on Tiffany with the bootleg chick, and I was surprised that Carmen had no reaction whatsoever to the news. Jax was self-proclaimed "honest" with Carmen and Tiffany about dating both of them, yet they both seemed upset about the other. There was a whole episode devoted to which he would choose. Tiffany is "older" (at least 30), glamorous, and career-oriented doing some type of club promotion party planning or something. He chose her at a rooftop bar. Then he went to dump Carmen (who's still in college) at a pizza place. But she gathered what was happening and preemptively dumped him. It was awesome--interspersed with clips of Stassi's many times dumping him--both of them saying how he's in his 30s and has nothing going on in his life and when is he going to grow up, etc. I cannot wait for Tiffany to dump him over the bootleg chick and then hopefully we'll get a trifecta dumping montage!

[ghoulina]

I think everyone on this show is fairly attractive,

 

See, I feel the opposite, lol. I remember season one when Katie and Kristen were at some modeling shoot, and going on about how hot they were and I was like - really??? I think Kristen is downright alien looking and Katie is just average, okay. She makes terrible hair and makeup choices a lot of the time, though.

 

Jax, to me, is a butterface. He has a nice body, if you're into that kind of thing, but without even knowing what he was like, I instantly found his face unattractive. He's just too cro-magnon looking for me. All these people have a major issue with oil and grease, both in the hair and on the face. Like I said, I was frankly shocked at how many of them are/were models. And I've watched enough ANTM to know that one does not even have to be conventionally "good looking" to model, but these people just seem to have no clue how to put themselves together. Jax could model underwear; I wouldn't want to look at his face. 

 

The only two who I, personally, find nice looking are Stassi and Schwartz. I guess Scheana might be okay without all the makeup and FI might be cute if he found some oil blotters and a dentist, but I'm working with what I'm given. LOL

[Ubiquitous]

While I don't find this group physically repugnant, I lost interest after hearing them humblebragging about hot they are; instant turn-off for me!

 

Back to the show, I had to laugh at the boys puttering off in that small car and Tom watching the girls thru the rear window as they drove away.

[bichonblitz]

The only two who I, personally, find nice looking are Stassi and Schwartz. I guess Scheana might be okay without all the makeup and FI might be cute if he found some oil blotters and a dentist, but I'm working with what I'm given. LOL

I saw some of Schwartzies modeling photo's. (you just have to google him). He is a gorgeous model. He's also 6'2, I just love me a tall man! He just needs to keep his mouth shut cause he really is dumb as a box of rocks. 

[Betweenyouandme]

See, I feel the opposite, lol. I remember season one when Katie and Kristen were at some modeling shoot, and going on about how hot they were and I was like - really??? I think Kristen is downright alien looking and Katie is just average, okay. She makes terrible hair and makeup choices a lot of the time, though.

Jax, to me, is a butterface. He has a nice body, if you're into that kind of thing, but without even knowing what he was like, I instantly found his face unattractive. He's just too cro-magnon looking for me. All these people have a major issue with oil and grease, both in the hair and on the face. Like I said, I was frankly shocked at how many of them are/were models. And I've watched enough ANTM to know that one does not even have to be conventionally "good looking" to model, but these people just seem to have no clue how to put themselves together. Jax could model underwear; I wouldn't want to look at his face.

The only two who I, personally, find nice looking are Stassi and Schwartz. I guess Scheana might be okay without all the makeup and FI might be cute if he found some oil blotters and a dentist, but I'm working with what I'm given. LOL

I'm not trying to argue. Just want to clarify that I mean if my friend or child or sister looked like one of these people, I would say they're fine looking. I'm not saying they are models (but a couple do model and lots of models are very interesting looking), though, just regular people out on the street. I respect MMV. But, I look at myself. I'm average height, thin, probably a 6.5-7 on a scale to 10, including all people from Mama June to a model. I'm not delusional and go around saying I'm super hot, but I do think I'm fine looking and don't scare anyone on the street. There's nothing inherently specifically offensive about any of them to me. I think with a good bath and less potty mouth, the people on this show are about the same. Just my opinion. There isn't anyone that I'd personally be interested in smooching, but I can still say they're not ugly. Edited December 31, 2014 by Betweenyouandme