Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Readalot]

I am working on a speech therapist but there seems to be a lot of dissection about when they start and if we have one locally. I'm going to guess that we don't, just given our remoteness. The OT/PT we are hiring came highly recommended by the audiologist. Maisie had almost three months of hearing and were told that, with her residual hearing in one ear, will help. There's so much to line up and implement.

Oh! We got the all clear to go home Wednesday. If I don't update, it's good news because our lives are about to get crazier. :) We are up on the transition NICU tonight.

what a journey it has been! Finally..,,home. All the best to Maisie and you and hubby.....and we will be patiently waiting for your next update. Enjoy having your family at home!

[Wellfleet]

I am working on a speech therapist but there seems to be a lot of dissection about when they start and if we have one locally. I'm going to guess that we don't, just given our remoteness. The OT/PT we are hiring came highly recommended by the audiologist. Maisie had almost three months of hearing and were told that, with her residual hearing in one ear, will help. There's so much to line up and implement.

Oh! We got the all clear to go home Wednesday. If I don't update, it's good news because our lives are about to get crazier. :) We are up on the transition NICU tonight.

 

We are all with you, wanderwoman. Can't wait until you can look in on Maisie in her own crib, and in her own room. Safe travels and God bless your little family :>) 

[wanderwoman]

I've almost got Mark to okay a pic of her in her car seat test. Lol. Protective poppa!

The language acquisition aspect fascinates me. It goes without saying that I've been hurriedly reading book after book and papers from experts, parents, and prior premies or deaf children, but I still have hundreds of practical questions. I can, philosophically, imagine how this is all going to work, but it's very new and daunting. DH had a company come out today to make sure our house (a historic cabin built in 1908) can be retrofitted for a deaf child. We know we don't need it for Maisie quite yet (since I don't foresee her being alone for the next four years...or forty years, honestly). Dh just wants it there before we need it. Can you tell we're both control freaks?

Looking back on this pregnancy and journey to parenthood, I'm awed by the love we have for Maisie and how our lives were instantly refocused on her. We have argued and disagreed, cried and laughed, been terrified and ecstatic,...it's been a roller coaster. But, I know we communicate better and learned even more about each other than I knew was possible. I know it's not going to get easier. I'm secretly terrified of leaving this hospital and taking our daughter home. I won't have these amazing men and women who have supported us for so long. At the same time, I can't wait to go home and see her room (I didn't get to see it put together and I have been home in months). DH and some work families finished it out recently. I'm glad you have all gone on this journey with me. I think Maisie has 19 Forum Aunties (and Uncles?) And Counting. :)

[Readalot]

I've almost got Mark to okay a pic of her in her car seat test. Lol. Protective poppa!

The language acquisition aspect fascinates me. It goes without saying that I've been hurriedly reading book after book and papers from experts, parents, and prior premies or deaf children, but I still have hundreds of practical questions. I can, philosophically, imagine how this is all going to work, but it's very new and daunting. DH had a company come out today to make sure our house (a historic cabin built in 1908) can be retrofitted for a deaf child. We know we don't need it for Maisie quite yet (since I don't foresee her being alone for the next four years...or forty years, honestly). Dh just wants it there before we need it. Can you tell we're both control freaks?

Looking back on this pregnancy and journey to parenthood, I'm awed by the love we have for Maisie and how our lives were instantly refocused on her. We have argued and disagreed, cried and laughed, been terrified and ecstatic,...it's been a roller coaster. But, I know we communicate better and learned even more about each other than I knew was possible. I know it's not going to get easier. I'm secretly terrified of leaving this hospital and taking our daughter home. I won't have these amazing men and women who have supported us for so long. At the same time, I can't wait to go home and see her room (I didn't get to see it put together and I have been home in months). DH and some work families finished it out recently. I'm glad you have all gone on this journey with me. I think Maisie has 19 Forum Aunties (and Uncles?) And Counting. :)

and counting for sure! Remember any feelings you have are normal. When we brought home our oldest with her cleft palate and feeding issues we looked at each other and said "now what?!" I was sure we were going to starve her, we felt not prepared to feed her with the different methods they wanted us to try. TRUST YOURSELF. You are both very capable parents. You will learn more everyday and you will get through the hard times. You will continue to find joy in unlikely places, fun times ahead!

[Jellybeans]

wanderwoman, one thing I appreciated my parents doing for me is they made sure I was as independent as I could be. I am far more independent than my hearing sibling and cousins! LOL.

Try to let Maisie tell you what she needs, and you will be fine. :-) You and protective daddy will do just fine. The only thing I think is essential is a flashing alarm clock when she is older, and a fire alarm with a strobe light when she's old enough to learn about fire safety. :-)

BTW I am good friends with someone who had a daughter who was born deaf. She got her first implant at 8 months old, her second at 8 years, and now she is in college and knows three languages. She is studying to be an international attorney like her dad. Time flies!

[Marigold]

Wanderwoman,

I don't specialize in hearing imparied children. But I know some stuff :)

 

When you settle down, I would look for a speech pathologist who specializes in hearing imparied infants. I would request a phone consult or a skype interview etc.  You might be able to utilize her knowledge and work with Maisie yourselves and home with weekly updates etc. You can directly call ASHA (American Speech Hearing Association) and talk to them directly. You are not the first person with this problem. 

 

Language development starts at birth, once they pop out! Every month is so critical. Years ago, the thought was you didn't need speech therapy until you started to talk at one year of age. the earliest.  Like speech just magically appeared.   That is so wrong because all your pre-language skills start as soon as you are born.  People will poo-poo you and say "you can wait" but a hearing child is getting all this auditory input and Maisie is not? If she is going to learn sign language, then she needs that asap also.  

When you get settled, call around and see what you think. You can post back to me here. Not sure if I would realize I had a PM. I never PM anyone but flag me and I will figure it out. 

 

Also, the DVDs Signing Times will interest you. The creator found out her daughte was completely deaf at age 2 or something and her journey to scramble to learn sign etc.  She is a singer and put together a series of fun signing and singing DVDs for her friends, family and the world. You would probably enjoy her story...

[frenchtoast]

Marigold, you'll see you have PM. The top right "menu bar" that has the envelope, alarm bell, person, My Shows, Sign Out buttons? The envelope is the PM area. It will have a red circle with the number of PMs when you get one.

 

And yay! Maisie is going home where she will thrive. So glad for your family, wanderwoman. I have doubts about how I'm being a parent to my kids every day. It's normal--it means you're doing an excellent job. The best part is you and your fantabulous hubby seem to have come together and formed an even stronger partnership which is wonderful.

[GEML]

I agree that language starts at birth and you need to get things started. But I will also say that having gone through speech therapy for my on the spectrum son, get ready for at least some of your therapists to say some pretty unconscionable things to you. We delayed speech therapy for him for a few years (I had my reasons) and one speech therapist told me that because of that he would never speak clearly and it was all my fault. He was five years old.

He's now in college and is a theatre major, and would like to do voice acting - where speaking clearly is just the beginning.

I think you do need to do early intervention - I'm not saying that. But we also live in a culture where demands are often infinite on parents and everyone too often is convinced that their specialty is the most critical.

I can't do better than to repeat what others have said so often - TRUST YOURSELF. Maisie is your child and you will know her better than anyone else. And don't stand for anyone bullying you or your daughter. Even if it sounds "real" it may not be true.

[Marigold]

Thanks French Toast!

I guess I never got a PM or sent a PM.  My PM box is empty!

 

Wanderwoman, you can PM me now!  :)  best wishes!  keep us updated. :)

[Jellybeans]

Oh, another thing... we are all so full of advice...so sorry. :-) One thing that helped ME was reading. I read all the time as a child. That was another way for me to acquire language. I hated to be read to- I was the kind of kid that did not understand why anyone would read to me when I could read books faster than they could read it to me. It was annoying to be read to. But that was ME.

Another thing- some deaf kids tend not to ask questions as they grow up. I was one of those. I found that I learned more from snooping (observing) grown-ups. This was before the days of Implants.

Don't forget to check out the implantable hearing aids... they are incredible for certain losses. I have a sensorineural hearing loss and wish I could get one.

Last thing, ignore all advice and do what is right for you. It is easy to get overwhelmed. But Maisie is in good hands and she will be fine. She will enjoy music, get to talk on the phone, probably tell you that you have the volume of the TV too loud for her taste, LOL!

[Marigold]

GEML,

Sorry you had some bad experiences.  There are crazy people everywhere. Just have to keep manuevering around them...it never stops in life.  It's like a video game. Then you meet some great people/professioanls etc and you stick tightly to them! 

 

Glad your son is doing so well.  :)  Sounds like his speech did just fine! 

[GEML]

Marigold - my son would very much appreciate you comparing his life to a video game! :) And he was able to get an excellent college essay out of the challenges of being a special needs student who was not a typical special needs student. (His point was there is no "typical" special needs student, but individuals with special needs.)

Edited May 5, 2015 by GEML

[JenCarroll]

Wanderwoman, even those of us who joined Maisie's cheering squad more recently are thrilled for your family and hold you in our thoughts. I'm guessing you'll be getting advice and opinions from all sides, so I'm going to stop piling on. :-) Whatever choices you make, you'll do fine.

And if you ever decide to do any kind of fundraising for the expenses, I'm sure you'll let us know, right? I recently chipped in for an artificial leg for my sister's friend's sister's daughter, and was TRULY delighted to be able to do so. If you ever choose to take that path (and I'm not saying you should or should not), I expect you'd encounter a lot of similar good will. Good luck to all your family, and I look forward to hearing more about Maisie's and your journey whenever you have time and energy to share. <3

[wanderwoman]

Omg. We are actually home. :) A quick, silly story: we got home to find that some of DH's co-workers had lined up signs on the road into our property. When we pulled up the driveway there were 15 uniformed people with masks and gloves on. Our deep freeze is completely stocked and her little room looks amazing. But, we looked at each other, and without words, moved her BasiNnette out of her beautiful room into our room. Monitor or not, she's stuck with us for a while.

Edited May 6, 2015 by wanderwoman

[ramble]

I remember vividly being at Disney world with ds3. He was 11 mos old & I gave him some dry cereal, & he signed "more" to me. I almost started crying! I had been working with him with basic signs. I'm glad I did since he did not start talking till after age 3.

I did some basic signs with my kids when they were little too. It helped so much with their frustration at not being able to communicate as clearly as they wanted. I don't know if it's an old wives tale or not, but both my kids were more physical at first than verbal. (I've always heard it's one or the other.) They were running & climbing everywhere at 9 months, but took longer to speak. Now, they're both teenagers, but they have their own secret set of signs they use to communicate over at their dad's house when they don't want anyone to know.

Congratulations wanderwoman on bringing your sweet baby home! What a journey y'all have been on already. The ride gets bumpier along the way, but it's is full of joy, some heartache & lots of love. Being a mother is the most beautiful, frustrating, incredible, maddening gift in this world. I wish you, your dear husband & precious girl all the best!

Edited May 6, 2015 by ramble

[Brown eyed girl]

So happy for you wanderwoman!! It must feel like heaven to be HOME with Miss Maisie. Keep us updated on Maisie's progress and how you and your DH are doing as well. As you said earlier she has 19 Forum Aunties and Uncles who really care about her.

[Wellfleet]

Omg. We are actually home. :) A quick, silly story: we got home to find that some of DH's co-workers had lined up signs on the road into our property. When we pulled up the driveway there were 15 uniformed people with masks and gloves on. Our deep freeze is completely stocked and her little room looks amazing. But, we looked at each other, and without words, moved her BasiNnette out of her beautiful room into our room. Monitor or not, she's stuck with us for a while.

 

Awww, damn it. Typing through tears, and not for the first time since we've been hearing about Maisie. If this keeps up, I'm going to blow my Stone Cold Bitch cover. You are indeed home, wanderwoman. It must feel like Heaven. And what wonderful friends you have - getting everything ready for you. God bless you and your little pink pudder [our family's word for baby - rhymes with "gooder"].

Edited May 6, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Happyfatchick]

SO extremely happy for you WanderWoman!  This is so exciting.  I've never had to sit continuously in a hospital for nearly as long as you - but our family is big, and so I've certainly spent day after day after countless days.  I know exactly the feeling you had when you left.  That kind of creepy feeling like you're escaping!  Like any minute now, someone is going to clap you on the back and say, "Now, just hold on a minute..."   But how wonderful the signs were there, and Maisie's room all together.  Just because I'm a little into that "add a little insult to injury thing"... Maisie's delay in getting home from the hospital also means she's probably slept through that whole first thing where they 1) eat 2) poop 3) sleep 4) repeat.  Sleeeeep is such a beautiful thing. 

 

And you know what?  You've been through so much, you will love every minute of being up on the wrong side of morning with her.   A side of God's most wonderful blessings on you and your family from me and mine!

 

I really meant everything I just said, honestly.  But also honestly, it took forever to type that because I was trying to avoid using "precious" "special" "blessing" and "miracle".  Please don't read my post in Michelle's voice!

Edited May 6, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Mrsjumbo]

Congrats on making it home! How wonderful!

To add my 2 cents to the whole conversation- yes, trust your instincts. There's no rush, & you will probably go through many different therapists through the years. But hang on if you find a good one! My DS at 2 qualified for ST & OT. He had no words at that point. The ST would strap him in a high chair & put flash cards in front of him & he would cry in frustration. I could barely stand it!

On my own when he was 3 I chose a private ST in reading her description online. She really clicked with my DS, he seemed comfortable with her & she let him play freely with toys in her room & got on the floor with him. He went from zero words to 150 in the first year! He's still with her 6 yrs later. And she has brought him farther than all the other therapists combined, I would guess. They are actually working on past tenses now, so we're at a point in his language that I thought I would never see (& was told years ago by an idiot dr that he would never reach).

Enjoy your sweet little bundle! So happy you made it home!

[questionfear]

I am surprised Michelle Duggar isn't behind this: http://gawker.com/ambitiously-homophobic-nebraska-woman-sues-every-gay-on-1702486002

[Jellybeans]

Omg. We are actually home. :) A quick, silly story: we got home to find that some of DH's co-workers had lined up signs on the road into our property. When we pulled up the driveway there were 15 uniformed people with masks and gloves on. Our deep freeze is completely stocked and her little room looks amazing. But, we looked at each other, and without words, moved her BasiNnette out of her beautiful room into our room. Monitor or not, she's stuck with us for a while.

This made me cry and cry. I am so happy for you. Your little blessing is very lucky to have such caring parents...and many internet friends. Give her a smooch for all of us.

And Happy Mother's Day!!!! :-)

[P2C2E]

Congratulations Maisie and family! I am so excited for you all and the next chapter in your lives!

[GEML]

Hooray!!! Maisie is home!!!!

[barbedwire]

Congratulatoins!  Maisie, what a cute name.

[amitville]

Omg. We are actually home. :) A quick, silly story: we got home to find that some of DH's co-workers had lined up signs on the road into our property. When we pulled up the driveway there were 15 uniformed people with masks and gloves on. Our deep freeze is completely stocked and her little room looks amazing. But, we looked at each other, and without words, moved her BasiNnette out of her beautiful room into our room. Monitor or not, she's stuck with us for a while.

 15 uniformed people with masks and gloves a freezer stocked and her room done.  I see the world loves Our Maisie. Welcome Home Wanderwomen.. As always ffhugs kisses and extra love to you and hubby and our Maisie.

[wanderwoman]

First night home was strange. Our girl came home on a O2 saturation monitor and a respiration halter. It's like a vest that does under her pajamas and it tracks her breathing, heart rate, and temperature. Between the two, we had an alarm every twenty minutes. Her O2 was running just below the toleration threshold. We think it's because of our altitude. Her NICU was at least sea level and we live around 8,000 feet. I was huffing and puffing when we took a little walk so I'm waiting for a call back from the RT. It may be as simple as upping her concentration or flow rate. Unfortunately, neither DH or I slept well. I know he had to go pick up our live in therapist and I didnt want him driving tired, so I kicked him to the living room to sleep. A friend came over today to help me get the trailer ready for the therapist. She's a employed by a charter school and they had summer vacation start today so the timing couldn't have been more perfect. She's going to stay with us until mid August. We thought about putting her in our tiny guest room, but I think she will like having her own living space, more. This is going to cost us a mint, especially with one income, and were blowing through savings, but I look at it this way: we can pay to give her the best start and worry about her college later - OR- keep the money in savings in which case college may not be an option because we skimped on early, intensive intervention. It's a scary gamble but I think it's the right thing to do.

I put her in her stroller today and, with all of the gear, we looked like a peddler. We walked down the road a ways to see the lake and then I sat with her on a picnic table just soaking up the vitamin D and watching the marmots. She seemed very content and curious l, then fell asleep as we walked home. It's so nice to be out in nature again.

[Itsnotreality]

So right Wanderwoman. I remember when mine were just little, reading "The first five years last the rest of their lives." I wholeheartedly believe this and it helped whenever there was a doubt about where to spend time or money. You are doing awesome and so glad you can get outside too. Makes you feel so much better and I'm sure Maisie thinks so too!

[GEML]

Sufficient unto the day. That got/gets me through many a parenting conundrum! :)

[amitville]

First night home was strange. Our girl came home on a O2 saturation monitor and a respiration halter. It's like a vest that does under her pajamas and it tracks her breathing, heart rate, and temperature. Between the two, we had an alarm every twenty minutes. Her O2 was running just below the toleration threshold. We think it's because of our altitude. Her NICU was at least sea level and we live around 8,000 feet. I was huffing and puffing when we took a little walk so I'm waiting for a call back from the RT. It may be as simple as upping her concentration or flow rate. Unfortunately, neither DH or I slept well. I know he had to go pick up our live in therapist and I didnt want him driving tired, so I kicked him to the living room to sleep. A friend came over today to help me get the trailer ready for the therapist. She's a employed by a charter school and they had summer vacation start today so the timing couldn't have been more perfect. She's going to stay with us until mid August. We thought about putting her in our tiny guest room, but I think she will like having her own living space, more. This is going to cost us a mint, especially with one income, and were blowing through savings, but I look at it this way: we can pay to give her the best start and worry about her college later - OR- keep the money in savings in which case college may not be an option because we skimped on early, intensive intervention. It's a scary gamble but I think it's the right thing to do.

I put her in her stroller today and, with all of the gear, we looked like a peddler. We walked down the road a ways to see the lake and then I sat with her on a picnic table just soaking up the vitamin D and watching the marmots. She seemed very content and curious l, then fell asleep as we walked home. It's so nice to be out in nature again.

I just stop crying and now i am starting all over again.   Priceless is walking down the road to see the lake and Our Maisie falling asleep on the walk home .  Makes the last couple of months a distant memory. ffhugs kisses and love to you and hubby and Our Maisie

[Sew Sumi]

I'm so glad Maisie is home. Hopefully her O2 issues will be easily resolved. I'm glad you got to take her to the lake on her first full day home...hope you got some pictures! :)

[Love2dance]

Thank you for keeping us updated, Wanderwoman. So happy to hear you are home and hope you will all get some sleep soon. I can barely breathe at 8000 feet, so I would not be surprised if Maisie needs an O2 adjustment. Ffhugs!

[Jenniferbug]

So happy Maisie is home!

[Jellybeans]

I live in Colorado so I understand about altitude issues. Takes some adjusting to, and Maisie will adapt.

Love reading about her first night and day. :-) YES!

[Marigold]

Yah!!! Excellent news!!!!

 

So glad you got a therapist and I hope that the person is wonderful! So glad you are home and can start your brand new life! 

[Jellybeans]

It's supposed to snow here on Mother's Day...do you think Maisie would like snow? :-(

[Marigold]

There is a big difference between a speech teacher and a speech language pathologist.  School districts and the state use the words interchangeably but they are different with a different educational level, training etc. Schools often employ "speech teachers". 

 

A speech teacher has a college degree with 12 speech credits. 

A speech pathologist has a masters degree in speech language pathology. 

 

When people tell me stories like that, I'm betting you got a speech teacher. 

I'm sure some speech teachers are really good. Many of them are self taught and know a lot.  But there is a big difference. Strapping a toddler in a high chair with flashcards?  Can't explain that one. 

Edited May 7, 2015 by Marigold

[Jellybeans]

That is true about the speech pathologist- And to complicate things further, there is a difference between auditory training and speech therapy.

I hated speech therapy. I was born talking :-) even though I became deaf at 11 months. But perhaps it was my attitude. You don't want to make your child hate it that's for sure.

It is easier to make auditory training fun. It is more natural to sing, go on nature walks, talk, listen to the radio, etc than sit in front of a person and learn to "hear". That said, I got my implant as an adult so I had no idea how to hear with it. I had to learn!

So I went for auditory training... still have trouble figuring out the difference between the SH and CH sound. Grrrr. I am still learning to hear with it I suppose. :-)

Edited May 7, 2015 by Jellybeans

[Missy Vixen]

But at my daughter's funeral, I was pretty much ignored... people did not know what to say or do. Perhaps it did not help that I wasn't able to talk or cry due to my severe shock.

Again, I do not know what is "normal". I think I would have preferred to have people come up to me and share their memories of my daughter.

Jellybean, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope it's okay to offer a cyber-hug. And I hope some of the people who weren't sure what to say have shared their memories of your daughter with you.

[GEML]

We actually went to a very very highly rated school district that provided top rated services, so my son was evaluated by the speech pathologist who told me that, but he had some truly marvelous speech teachers. (And another speech pathologist who was marvelous.)

Special needs providers are human, and people go into the field for good reasons (80%) and not so great (10%) and that last 10% are so exceptional that they will change your world so completely that you will never, ever forget them.

[frenchtoast]

HundFan said in the Jill's Delivery Topic:

*Re Jill’s not so perfect birth: I’m no fundie, but, like Jill, I was crunchy enough to take Bradley classes for my first pregnancy. None of which helped a bit with my hard & fast labor (7 ½ hours start to finish with no amniotic fluid to soften the contractions) or the off-the-grid pain that ultimately led me to a largely useless shot of mild painkiller (far from the epidural I would have chosen absent the Bradley guidelines). Bradley’s description of contractions is “some discomfort.” Please. And they claim some women even experience orgasms while birthing. That’s about a likely as a meteor strike on your hoo-ha at the precise moment you deliver. Bradley also failed to mention that pushing might not feel like such a relief if you have a 9 ½ pound baby – and, as a result, that I might ultimately need a vacuum extractor. What Bradley did do was fill me with shame and guilt (my Bradley instructor said she was sorry I failed in needing both pain meds and medical intervention) – and since I imagine Jill feels the same, she has my genuine sympathy here. My guess is Bradley’s tweaked tenets had much to do with Jill’s cascade of poor decisions during the birth (not taking the meconium seriously, waiting longer than she should have to go to the hospital). I can only hope she realizes, with future babies, there are many ways to have a “natural” childbirth, including a hospital, pain meds, doctors and even sometimes a Caesarean. I certainly knew these things by the time my second daughter was born.

 

Contractions are discomfort!?!? WHHAAAA?? I went to two classes--Lamaze and a Childbirthing Preparedness Class (basically this is what we'll happen, here's how to swaddle, infant CPR) The Lamaze teacher was awesome--c-sections have saved countless women, the goal is a safe and healthy mom and baby. Whatever you need to do. The nurse that taught the Preparedness class said something that stuck with me and was true: You'll hit a point in labor, when you're in transition (contractions are really intense, they're coming in rapid succession and you're not pushing yet) that you will think you can't do it. And she was absolutely right, and I was so thankful she said that because I remembered it as I was saying to my husband, "I don't think I can do this." For both labors, even though I knew what was coming with the second, I had that moment of, "Oh shit, I can't do this." I am truly grateful to have been given support and instruction (and I even took a refresher course with my second) because dang, no one should ever feel guilt or shame for bringing a life into the world. Ever. 

 

As a side note, for my first, I wasn't allowed to push for an hour, so pushing was a huge relief for me. 

 

Contractions as a discomfort. HA! It reminds me of my orthodontist saying the braces aren't painful, it's just pressure. Bullshit. It's painful pressure then. 

[Jenniferbug]

The only time I lost it while in labor with my daughter was right at the end. I was induced, so they broke my water at the hospital in the morning and found meconium in it. They warned me then that we would need NICU staff present when she was born. At 9:00 in the morning when I'm distracted by labor, I didn't really think much about that, other than to be a little more worried and glad that at least they were going to be prepared. Fast forward 10 hours and add in the knowledge that the cord was likely wrapped around her neck (it was- twice), and when the 6 NICU people came in wheeling their equipment, I started hysterically sobbing. I remember saying over and over "she's not alright or you wouldn't all be here". Thankfully she was perfectly alright, and is a happy, healthy, talkative toddler now.

Can't wait to do it all again in 9 weeks...I'm hoping this baby doesn't give me as many scares during labor as her sister!

[Wellfleet]

The only time I lost it while in labor with my daughter was right at the end. I was induced, so they broke my water at the hospital in the morning and found meconium in it. They warned me then that we would need NICU staff present when she was born. At 9:00 in the morning when I'm distracted by labor, I didn't really think much about that, other than to be a little more worried and glad that at least they were going to be prepared. Fast forward 10 hours and add in the knowledge that the cord was likely wrapped around her neck (it was- twice), and when the 6 NICU people came in wheeling their equipment, I started hysterically sobbing. I remember saying over and over "she's not alright or you wouldn't all be here". Thankfully she was perfectly alright, and is a happy, healthy, talkative toddler now.

Can't wait to do it all again in 9 weeks...I'm hoping this baby doesn't give me as many scares during labor as her sister!

 

I would've reacted exactly as you did, Jenniferbug. Glad all was well in the end - and all good thoughts and wishes for Baby Two. July babies are awesome...

[Mrsjumbo]

Good luck, Jenniferbug!

I lucked out because although I have 3 kids I never experienced labor. I had a csection with my twins & had another csection with #3. I never felt guilty about it- I had healthy babies & that is the goal, right? But I was secretly happy I never had to experience the pain of labor first.

[Jynnan tonnix]

That is true about the speech pathologist- And to complicate things further, there is a difference between auditory training and speech therapy.

I hated speech therapy. I was born talking :-) even though I became deaf at 11 months. But perhaps it was my attitude. You don't want to make your child hate it that's for sure.

It is easier to make auditory training fun. It is more natural to sing, go on nature walks, talk, listen to the radio, etc than sit in front of a person and learn to "hear". That said, I got my implant as an adult so I had no idea how to hear with it. I had to learn!

So I went for auditory training... still have trouble figuring out the difference between the SH and CH sound. Grrrr. I am still learning to hear with it I suppose. :-)

I would say that in regard to the SH and CH, they are the same in so far as the way the aspirated sound is formed, but the "stop" at the beginning of the "CH" gives it its structure (in other words, if you sound out a long, drawn out "ch" or "sh", the sound will be identical except for the "ch" having a definite start to it which the "sh" lacks). Don't know whether that makes sense. On a slightly related note, I was brought up speaking Polish, and find that most English-speaking people can't differentiate between the Polish "cz" or "sz" sounds (which correspond roughly to English "ch" and "sh") and the sounds of the letters which look like a "c" or "s" with an accent mark over them (don't know how to make them on an English keyboard). The sounds of the latter are produced with the pressure just a tiny bit further back on the tongue, and have a softer quality which is quite distinct to the Polish ear, but I find I can repeat them slowly and carefully countless times to an English speaker and they seem to hear the exact same sound. I just find that fascinating.

Edited May 8, 2015 by Jynnan tonnix

[Jenniferbug]

Thanks Wellfleet and Mrsjumbo :-)

[Wellfleet]

I would say that in regard to the SH and CH, they are the same in so far as the way the aspirated sound is formed, but the "stop" at the beginning of the "CH" gives it its structure (in other words, if you sound out a long, drawn out "ch" or "sh", the sound will be identical except for the "ch" having a definite start to it which the "sh" lacks). Don't know whether that makes sense. On a slightly related note, I was brought up speaking Polish, and find that most English-speaking people can't differentiate between the Polish "cz" or "sz" sounds (which correspond roughly to English "ch" and "sh") and the sounds of the letters which look like a "c" or "s" with an accent mark over them (don't know how to make them on an English keyboard). The sounds of the latter are produced with the pressure just a tiny bit further back on the tongue, and have a softer quality which is quite distinct to the Polish ear, but I find I can repeat them slowly and carefully countless times to an English speaker and they seem to hear the exact same sound. I just find that fascinating.

 

I seem to remember from a college child development course that there are definitely timelines involved in language acquisition. In particular languages - probably many of them actually - certain sounds must be "learned" by such-and-such an age or it's just never happens. This must one of those situations. I think it also probably accounts for Henry Higgins-type experts being able to distinguish native speakers from those who learned a language later.

[questionfear]

Good luck, Jenniferbug!

I lucked out because although I have 3 kids I never experienced labor. I had a csection with my twins & had another csection with #3. I never felt guilty about it- I had healthy babies & that is the goal, right? But I was secretly happy I never had to experience the pain of labor first.

Mrs QF never went into labor with mini-QF either. He was a week late and they did a c-section when an ultrasound revealed he was trending towards baby Izzy levels (actually, they were the same weight but Iz had 1.5in on him). A healthy baby is a healthy baby, and from what I saw Mrs QF go through, it's not like a c-section is easy...you get your pain on one end or the other!

[galax-arena]

I seem to remember from a college child development course that there are definitely timelines involved in language acquisition. In particular languages - probably many of them actually - certain sounds must be "learned" by such-and-such an age or it's just never happens. This must one of those situations. I think it also probably accounts for Henry Higgins-type experts being able to distinguish native speakers from those who learned a language later.

Yeah, the idea is that babies are born with the ability to distinguish between all the various phonemes out there in the universe. But if nobody ever uses those phonemes around the baby - because it's not part of their language - then the child will eventually lose the ability to discern them. 

 

Another cool factoid is that days-old babies can differentiate between their mother's language and all other languages. 

[Jellybeans]

Jellybean, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope it's okay to offer a cyber-hug. And I hope some of the people who weren't sure what to say have shared their memories of your daughter with you.

Oddly enough, no. People do not know how to talk to bereaved parents...and I am divorced. Do not know if her dad has the same experience. It is ok to make parents cry when sharing memories.

I talk more about her here than I do in real life because no one wants me to talk about her.

But I am about to bury her next month and one of her friends contacted all her school friends and they are coming to her gravesite service. I am sure they will share memories, if not I will ask them too. I have known them since first grade. I have many photos of them which will probably surprise them. I have not seen them since they were little.

Thanks for the hugs. It is an unsettling time for me.

Edited May 8, 2015 by Jellybeans

[Jellybeans]

I seem to remember from a college child development course that there are definitely timelines involved in language acquisition. In particular languages - probably many of them actually - certain sounds must be "learned" by such-and-such an age or it's just never happens. This must one of those situations. I think it also probably accounts for Henry Higgins-type experts being able to distinguish native speakers from those who learned a language later.

Yes, very true. It is called "brain plasticity" and that is why it is so hard for a baby born deaf to learn to hear if they do not learn to hear due to lack of exposure to hearing before age 5. I received hearing aids as a baby but I am very deaf. I cannot tell the difference between ch and sh no matter what... I do "know" that ch is softer but I received my implant when I was 40. Too late for sh and ch, but not too late for "hearing assistance".