Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Jynnan tonnix]

14 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

I too am a big hospice fan.  To the point that, if I had even one second of time to call my own, I would volunteer. I think it's The bomb.  I am so so so grateful we had that option available for us.  The sitter (my cousin) who lived in with my mom would have been out of her mind without hospice.  Of course, I was there at least 12 hrs a day too, but I did nights because it was more comfortable for us all to have "eyes-on" at all times.  It's just so SCARY, and such a comfort to know they are always lurking.  Sometimes they were there round the clock if we had an incident - but otherwise they came to bathe her and suggest alternate kinds of care.  When it was terrifying at the end, they were on the phone constantly, answering questions and offering comfort and guidance.  We picked the hard road because that's what my parents wanted, and what we felt we had to do, but we never felt like we were out on a limb alone.  

On another note: who's watching the super bowl, and who do you like?  Obviously we're all about the Falcons - but Ima admit in out little group (I'm whispering) I'm not only not really a fair weather fan, I'm not a fan.  I don't "hate" football, but I don't bother with it.  I haven't seen a game all season, not even the playoffs,. And yet... we're hosting a big fat super bowl party.  How does this happen???

who IS it who has the obnoxious, damanding father and the dissociated mother?  I was thinking that was Jynnan Tonix:  obviously I have my characters mixed up.  

Nope, not me...My father could certainly be a bit of a tyrant, but I wouldn't have called him obnoxious. Even though he had a cantankerous side and little patience for things which were not within his definition of "right", he had a heart of gold. And Mom, far from being dissociated, always was, and rather continues to be a bit of a helicopter parent. I gave her one of those fridge magnets once, which said, "no matter how old she gets, a mother still watches her middle-aged kids for signs of improvement". Which pretty much sums her up to a "T". To be honest, though, I probably never WILL be half the person that my parents are/were.

[CherryMalotte]

Quote

who IS it who has the obnoxious, damanding father and the dissociated mother?

That might be me.  He's a friggin trip.   I can't even get into the bullshit he hit me with last week, I'm trying to maintain and keep my blood pressure down as instructed by the doctor.  Low salt diet and no parent stress, that's the prescription.  I'm on my own right now, the couple of other people that have been my back up to his medical appointments are away on extended vacation or snowbird destinations.  Bless them, they deserve some time away from this cold weather, and their help is very appreciated.  Appointments are on the wane hopefully this year.  It really is a struggle to do for someone you have no love for.     

     

Edited February 5, 2017 by CherryMalotte

[bigskygirl]

{{{HUGS}}} @CherryMalotte  I found out via Facebook my dad had a bad heart attack in 2012 and was given a 10% to live, but he is doing well now. It would have been nice to find this out earlier, but lets just say, my dad and stepmother are a piece of work. I remembered when I called him to let him know my husband was seriously ill, and he had no concern at all for my husband or me at the time. Sixteen years later no phone calls to see how my husband and I are doing. To be honest about it, summer 2012 was when my thyroid went out of whack again, and the stress of  possibly dealing with my dad and stepmother would have made me more sick and miserable. He made his decision years ago to be with my stepmother and left his children with a mother who had her own problems, and quite frankly, should not have married him and had kids with him. I know I sound bitchy about it, but I have gotten more love and kindness from my kitty fur babies than I ever got from own family in years.

[Muffyn]

@Jynnan tonnix I am so sorry for your loss.  It sounds like your father had quite the interesting life.  Thank you sharing some of it with us.  Big virtual hugs sending your way for your care and concern for him.

And now the cranky part --

On ‎2‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 5:04 AM, Jeeves said:

Now on a less exalted subject, from the "Bachelor Pad" topic in "Counting On." About Derick's mysterious retching/vomiting, and the scary possibility that it could be a symptom of something that would result in an aortic dissection:  Marfan Syndrome (aka Marfan's)

Folks, I have Marfan Syndrome as do/did 2 out of 3 of my siblings.  As a syndrome, it varies greatly.  So someone can have only minor effects up to life-limiting issues.  Even in my family we range greatly in the symptoms. 

With that said, unless something has been revealed on Counting On, we have no reason to believe that Derek has Marfan Syndrome.  I really regret ever mentioning that he has a Marfanoid body type.  The body type does not mean he has other issues.  He could just be tall and thin with jaws issues but does not have the concomitant heart troubles.  Unfortunately, since I mentioned he has the look, every few months someone takes the non-diagnosis of Marfan's to an extreme.  Dang it, now I have to read the Counting On forums.

I am more than willing to answer questions about living with Marfan's.  I am personally not interested in sympathy for having the condition. It is simply one part of who I am.  We all have things we deal with.   

@Jeeves I don't mean to sound cranky that you shared the story of the family you know.  It can be devastating, and I feel for what they have had to deal with.   I am angry at myself because I opened up Derek to unfounded speculation that leads to people being very concerned and to possibly spreading incorrect information (not yours but some other stuff on the Derek forums).  There are reasons to be concerned for the various satellite Duggars and to hate on them as well.  Marfan's just isn't necessarily one of those reasons.   

[Arwen Evenstar]

@Muffyn...thanks for your perspective. I don't know anyone personally who has it, so your insight gives me some relief that he might be okay, at least with respect to Marfans. 

I didn't remember who had mentioned it, but when I saw the post suggesting he might have a Marfanoid body type, it did make sense to me after it was mentioned.

Another poster lost a boyfriend to an aortic dissection who had been suffering from gagging, but he did not have Marfans.  I have read that Marfans exists on a spectrum and it doesn't necessarily mean those who have it will have jaw issues, balance issues, or aortic dissections. Many people who have it lead very full lives without limits.  If I am coming off as misinformed, please feel free to set me straight

I would say most of us are concerned for Derick, particularly more so that we know he's not likely not getting proper medical care.  

[Muffyn]

@Arwen Evenstar No harm, no foul.  I addressed it in the Counting On forum.  It is an issue of the internet that speculation becomes truth too quickly.  I suggested that if someone is concerned they should comment on it where the Duggars will see it, but not to take it to mean everything.  It is good that you understand the effects exist on a spectrum.  People often only look to the worst.  Then people who are newly diagnosed can see people talking about these things being a death sentence. 

I am worried about Derick for many reasons.  He has been sucked into the Duggar-verse.  He is married to Jill. He is sometimes in close proximity to Jim Bob's stank breath.  And, of course, he risks  being defrauded by Michelle.  'Cause we all know, she's still got it!  :-)

Edited February 6, 2017 by Muffyn

[Arwen Evenstar]

13 minutes ago, Muffyn said:

@Arwen Evenstar No harm, no foul.  I addressed it in the Counting On forum.  It is an issue of the internet that speculation becomes truth too quickly.  I suggested that if someone is concerned they should comment on it where the Duggars will see it, but not to take it mean everything.  It is good that you understand the effects exist on a spectrum.  People often only look to the worst.  Then people who are newly diagnosed can see people talking about these things being a death sentence. 

I am worried about Derick for many reasons.  He has been sucked into the Dugar-verse.  He is married to Jill. He is sometimes in close proximity to Jim Bob's stank breath.  And, of course, he risks  being defrauded by Michelle.  'Cause we all know, she's still got it!  :-)

I know, right...those defrauding knees are legendary...even had she lived earlier to change the course of history..  They could have caused the Trojan war...Michelle instead of Helen of Troy....

[Minivanessa]

@Muffyn, I hope I didn't upset you with my comments about Marfan's. I agree, speculation on the internet gets outta control. Because the issue had popped up in the discussion, I thought it might be useful to link to a page with some real info in case anybody wanted to find out about the condition. It's good to know you are dealing just fine with it. 

[Almost 3000]

1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

@Muffyn, I hope I didn't upset you with my comments about Marfan's. I agree, speculation on the internet gets outta control. Because the issue had popped up in the discussion, I thought it might be useful to link to a page with some real info in case anybody wanted to find out about the condition. It's good to know you are dealing just fine with it. 

The poster that I remember mentioning Mafan's also said Derick looked like Abraham Lincoln. So if @MUFFYN didn't mention AL they weren't the only poster to point out the syndrome.

[Happyfatchick]

@CherryMalotte, yup.  It was you i was thinking of.  I'd already done my "research" and found that out.  You with the crotchety dad.... you know, it's unfair on some level that you can't prepare for the care of your parents ahead of time (because who's got THAT crystal ball???)  but it seems to me you really, really got the short stick. It's already a burden even if they are loving and gave us good lives and good foundations as children, but when they're mean and demanding... I remember crying over some things my mom said and did in dementia days, but she didn't know.  I just had to be hurt and move along.  If she'd said or done things or demanded things of me that were over the top, I might seriously have hurt someone.  I just want you to know I completely sympathize with you.  Not fair on SO MANY levels.

@Jynnan tonnix, I hope things are calm.  I hate the foggy times right after the passing.  You're in my thoughts constantly.  

Heres a story about an (ex)Amish man building a house.  When it comes to building, the Amish do it right, right? Everybody knows that.  And my Daddy built the house we're moving to.  The assumption, with the Amish, who don't do pretty but DO sturdy is that "more is better".  My brother changed a simple light fixture in the hall once - just a simple globe, one bulb - total weight about 1 lb.. he goes in the attic to see how the original was affixed, and found that my Daddy had cut up a 2x4 and bolted it between rafters.  And then put that 1 lb light fixture in there with LAG BOLTS.  Something you might use to hold an airplane together.

so a couple weeks ago, I wanted the medicine cabinet out of the master bath in there.  It's 40 years old, the cheap sliding door kind made of metal.  Fugly, and just a little rusty and gross.  Lights are actually in the top of the fixture so that when it goes away, so does my light source for that bathroom.  Not exactly the look I'm going for overall... same brother comes along and says he'll get it out and put in a pull chain light until I get to the part where I'm actually doing mirror and lights.  At the back of his truck, rummaging around for tools, he's talking to himself aloud, listing the tools he needs...wire cutter, electrical tieoff, screwdriver...and then he says, I guess I better take a socket set in - he probably put that thing up with lag bolts.  Guess what???  HE DID!!!!!  We don't have earthquakes here, no reason to make that thing withstand flooding, earthquakes or volcanoes - but there you have it, the cheap 5 lb medicine cabinet lag bolted to the wall, (BIG BOLTS, TOO!)  sufficient to live through Armageddon!

we laugh now - but if we ever face nuclear disaster (with warning) or a class 5 tornado, guess where everybody will meet???

[louannems]

We have snow in Seattle!  About 4 inches of heavy, wet snow here on East Kent Hill!  My bushes and branches are all bent way over.

[emma675]

Ugh, it will be almost 80 today here in Dallas. My allergies have kicked into high gear (in February!!) and I've made an appointment with the allergy doc. I think this might be the year I have to go back on shots.

I'm 3 months into my new job and I've decided I'm tired of working. I'm just tired of the grind and the never ending needs of other people and the endless requests for help (and I'm only in Marketing, I don't know how people with really important jobs like nurses do it). I wish I had the financial ability to just take a year off and do whatever I wanted to. I need to start playing the lottery more seriously.

[lookeyloo]

4 hours ago, louannems said:

We have snow in Seattle!  About 4 inches of heavy, wet snow here on East Kent Hill!  My bushes and branches are all bent way over.

My son sent me pictures of the snow in Puyallup.  The dog seems pretty happy with it.

[Micks Picks]

My current dog has never been in the snow.  Former dogs were not thrilled.  One used a snow bank to gain access to the limbs of a tree.  Had a devil of a time finding him.  Cold paws, no thanks.

[Arwen Evenstar]

3 hours ago, emma675 said:

'm 3 months into my new job and I've decided I'm tired of working. I'm just tired of the grind and the never ending needs of other people and the endless requests for help (and I'm only in Marketing, I don't know how people with really important jobs like nurses do it). I wish I had the financial ability to just take a year off and do whatever I wanted to. I need to start playing the lottery more seriously.

You could always start Emma Family Ministries, complete with your very own large DONATE button!

Seriously, bummers, girl. A decent paying job in Texas these days is something of a luxury. You'll have possibly more options once the oil economy bounces back even if you don't have an oil job. Sorry your new job turned out to be a grinder...looks like time to look again, but try to stick it out until there are more choices. Maybe when the overall state economy recovers a bit more they'll hire you some help until you can make your escape...maybe get a temp in as an assistant.

[BitterApple]

3 hours ago, emma675 said:

Ugh, it will be almost 80 today here in Dallas. My allergies have kicked into high gear (in February!!) and I've made an appointment with the allergy doc. I think this might be the year I have to go back on shots.

I'm 3 months into my new job and I've decided I'm tired of working. I'm just tired of the grind and the never ending needs of other people and the endless requests for help (and I'm only in Marketing, I don't know how people with really important jobs like nurses do it). I wish I had the financial ability to just take a year off and do whatever I wanted to. I need to start playing the lottery more seriously.

Pull an Anna Nicole and find some decrepit billionaire to latch onto so you can quit your job. Tons of old oil money down there in Dallas and Houston, correct? :)

[bigskygirl]

We are getting hit with a storm right now, and it sounds like rain/snow/hail. Parts of the state are getting nailed with a lot of snow to the point of road closures and accidents. Last Monday we were under a winter storm advisory with 5 to 8 inches of snow supposedly coming. We got around two inches where we live. Friday evening forecast called for snow showers and less of an inch of snow. We ended up with around three to four inches. Montana weather...Just got to love it. Of course with all the crazy weather, we have crazy drivers leading to slide offs especially with semis. Last week a semi nailed a sheriff department vehicle in eastern Montana, and luckily the deputy was not hurt. The MT Highway Patrol has lost some vehicles since December because people do not want to slow down and yield the right away to emergency vehicles. Nitwits!!!

[Marigold]

Snowing hard today.  Everything is canceled! Yah!

[Marigold]

Jynnan Tonix,

So sorry for the loss of your dad. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

Thanks so much, everybody, for your kind thoughts. Have not had a whole lot of time or inclination to hang out on boards for the past few days. 

The snowstorm here in CT today has thrown stuff off even more...My cousins from England who were here had to make last minute changes to their schedule to leave early Wednesday  rather than late Thursday because of the forecast (only made reasonably easy because one of them works for British Airlines), and my husband's scheduled flight back to Virginia tomorrow was canceled, leaving him with a best option of an almost $400 flight from Hartford to Norfolk (because he needs to get back tomorrow) at 5:32 am (because anything at a more reasonable hour was going to be two or three times the price), which means getting on the road by 3:30 in the morning and hoping the roads have been cleared. And my driving home in the dark, which I hate, on roads which might well still be treacherous, which I actually have very little experience with. So wish me luck!

[Arwen Evenstar]

@Jynnan tonnix drive carefully❤️

[Love2dance]

@Jynnan tonnix, oh my, sending safe driving wishes and good plane connections for all of your relatives. Let us know when you arrive home. (I feel like a mommy!)

[Minivanessa]

@Jynnan tonnix - best wishes for the morning drive.

[Jynnan tonnix]

All that last little rant aside, though, Dad's viewing and funeral was SO overwhelming. About 15 huge flower arrangements, with tributes from Polish Scouting far and wide...A good 300 people must have shown up for the viewing Monday evening, and ended up including a Polish Mass along with a short version of a Scouting campfire, with songs and such. There must have been well over 100 scouts of all ages, from those who grew up going to the camps he ran to their children who knew him  mostly as a legend...Other guests included the Consul General from the Polish Embassy in New York and a couple of other dignitaries...and though I was pretty sure that he was going to get a good send-off, none of us were prepared for the scope of this.

Well over 100 people showed up for the funeral mass the next day. My older son gave a beautiful eulogy. I did my little bit in singing during the Mass (I was scared to death, never having sung in public, but I guess it must have gone OK because a few people  approached me afterwards to ask if I did that professionally). Mom has been fielding phone calls all day, both from old friends and those she hardly knew. I guess it kept her occupied, which was a good thing as it was also her 83rd birthday, and there was no way in the world  anyone was going to be able to travel there to see her today!

At any rate, it was certainly humbling to realize the esteem with which so very many people held my dad, and knowing that there's no way in the world I'll ever manage to live up to a fraction of the person he was.

[Love2dance]

@Jynnan tonnix, thank you for sharing those beautiful details of what must have been a most heart wrenching  time. Hugs and drive safe.

[Jynnan tonnix]

7 hours ago, Love2dance said:

@Jynnan tonnix, oh my, sending safe driving wishes and good plane connections for all of your relatives. Let us know when you arrive home. (I feel like a mommy!)

Haha! Thanks. I'm back home now...Took me longer than it should have because I took a wrong exit (there were two right close together, as they tend to be when you are right outside a city, and everything looks the same in the dark and the snow), but it led to an alternate way to get home...right past Mom's house, actually - I would have stopped in if it wasn't barely 5:30 yet - so I just took the back roads home instead of the highway. Either way, the roads still needed quite a bit more clearing, and at least on back roads you tend to drive a bit more slowly and see less traffic. I feel like going back to bed now, but it's almost 6:30 and I should be getting up...

[Arwen Evenstar]

@Jynnan tonnix, glad you made it home safely.

[bigskygirl]

@Jynnan tonnix Glad you made it home okay.  {{{HUGS}}}

The weather has been crazy where I live. Monday parts of Montana got hit with a lot of snow (up to five feet in some areas.) The last few days the temps have been higher along with rain causing road closures and black ice to the point where they had to close down interstates and other roads in western Montana causing problems for drivers trying to get to Idaho and Washington. The local school districts cancel all the bus routes where I live this morning because of black ice. We have been told to stay off the roads and to watch out for flooding. I was suppose to have my one year follow up visit with the sleep specialist this morning, but the appointment was canceled in January. I am sure he is happy not to be driving to Helena from Great Falls today, and I am happy I do not have to drive to the hospital in the bad road conditions. Hoping the roads will be good next Friday because I see him at 8:30 a.m. I like getting early appointments because I can get in and out faster.

[Love2dance]

@Jynnan tonnix, thanks for the safe arrival update. So glad you made it home despite the alternate route, and that you didn't get stuck in the back roads. May be a good day for a nap, if possible.  Zzzzzzzz

[Arwen Evenstar]

I'm so sleepy.  Overcast in Houston near 80. Looks like it's going to rain...earlier this week, we hit a high of 86.  We'd better get a cool summer if this is how February is shaping up.

Had the barium scan last Friday. GI doc's nurse called me to tell me that everything was normal. Always a blessing.  After 2 bowel preps in 10 days, I wanted to put my tshirt over my head á la Beavis and shout...I am the Great Cornholio...don't make my bunghole angry...bungholio!

[Love2dance]

@Arwen Evenstar, congrats on the good medical test news!

I know just how you feel about the weather. I'm still upset about last January's 90 degree days (2016)! Let's hope for a mild summer!

[louannems]

https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=Cr3SSMGeeWLLtN8zQ-QOnnpqoBumlrJhIqpK539YEveTurPsCEAEg2qTDIGDJxr6N9KTQGaAB66PL0QPIAQLgAgCoAwHIAwiqBOkBT9CdN9El4JjEEwgEGF89s6QbteAiwFvyH4Pdkks-u2nV1-aN4DIhgnEuLhvcQEsgtZQRkRJtB8hMmopYOi1XMYFkFihJIvNxVXem9RgXoyG4QwbIrJSvirZOe04Xrfxu5CzG1GEoRcxV6jl9qu9t6RiF_0JecJHOtLPZU2XjbdjHTlAfO7vWsDc-qHfohMiOT2OicklXuRYwSA0PzHEn8tlHU1mRi4BvO320cAPUcRijVBOezUir81MfYHCZofIpyp-6k44HzRcgeiX6AD1vMDha1cytLTYDpumsG5KH9TnqejHGbhQulgDgBAGIBgGgBgLYBgSAB_3btC6oB6a-G9gHAdIIBQiAIRAB&num=1&cid=CAASEuRoqtuYjjLpeesZ2upF-yJFtw&sig=AOD64_3OOGukD-35M8ub4JfB5kDiEoX10A&client=ca-pub-6728307037029826&adurl=http://seattleopera.org/on-stage/katya-kabanova/&nx=CLICK_X&ny=CLICK_Y&nb=2

 

I'm not sure if this ad will copy and paste properly. It's an ad that popped up on the Joy and Austin page .  It reads:

Seattle Opera

Katya Kabanova

Small-town.

Big dreams.

No escape.

There is a 20 yr old something daughter with long hair in a conservative dress and a cardigan. Standing close behind her is a strict appearing mom in a 1950's house dress.

It just reminded me of the Duggar kidults.

[Happyfatchick]

@louannems - as to that ad popping up on Joy and what's-his-face - that little demon who lives in your computer (the one still putting J.C.Penny jewelry for a pop up after 2 yrs viewing Meechelle's fugly ring), to that demon guy, he matched like with like.  He's quite proud of himself.  

I don't get to surf and snark (not as tasty as surf and turf) much these days, I'm going wide open.  But I did see where Jessamin named their new baby something as - ahhh - "unique" as Spurgeon.  Higgins Otho mother some weird thing.  What is UP with that?  I have to think it's Bens influence, and I have to think he's trying to show he's well read.  Or something.  Like if I named a child Emerson.  (Or more likely Waldo, in their case).  

Also, I listened to the video when Michelle/Jill/JB were talking about their new baby on the way.  I just cannot CANNOT tolerate Michelle's weird Mini Mouse voice.  And you know what?  Jinger talks just like her.  I wonder how long before Jinger announces?   Also, awhile back, someone mentioned a clip and I went looking - and somehow came across the clip where Jill was showing Jesse around their little house overseas in CA.  And she said (when Jessa observed they had a third bedroom), "Yes, its a real blessing".  I actually had to think - what would I say if someone said "I didn't know you had 2 extra rooms".  I know, it's been handy. ?  Or: Yep, we were lucky to find a house with this much space. ?  Or:  I know, right?  So you can sleep here with the older 5 and we'll pile all the leftovers and the babies in the other room, it'll be great!  Or (more likely):  I know!  Isn't that great?  We'll put all the others in the hotel and you guys can sleep in here and we'll put the babies together in the other room.  I mean, so many normal responses for a 20 something girl at that moment -  It just seemed such a weirdly Stepfordish reply "yes, it's a real blessing". 

I have to work on getting more sleep.  Obviously I get meaner when I'm overtired.  ?

[bigskygirl]

[xtwheeler]

I have lurked in this forum and this topic specifically for years, but I wanted to say hello specifically to those of you also dealing with elderly parents.  I'm sorry for your loss, @JYNNAN TONNIX. 

My dad (just 73) was admitted to hospice this morning. As of September, he had mobility issues from osteoarthritis and early dementia/alzheimers, then had a freak fall at home from low blood sodium (oh, the irony after a lifetime of a low sodium diet).  The hospital initially missed his hip fracture, and now he's had two partial hip replacements, two bouts of septic shock, several rounds of MRSA, and about every complication you can have, and now he is not ever coming home again.  He has always been my favorite person in the world, and the other pea in my pod, and my heart is breaking.  I'm heartened to hear that hospice care (which he will be receiving in a skilled nursing facility because my mom and I cannot provide enough other care for him ourselves) is good care.

I'm lost and so sad, and I'm so sorry to see so many others in this shitty, shitty club, too.

[pinkie]

XTWheeler (((hugs)) for you - I'm not good w/ words, but I wanted to know that I feel for you & your Mum, & I'm sorry you are hurting. He must be a great Dad/2nd pea!

[BitterApple]

XTWheeler, I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I've been through hospice when my father was dying of cancer, so I know how hard it is when you feel like you're somehow failing your parent. My dad was my best friend and it sucked losing him, I'm still not over it. The hospice workers are absolutely amazing though, so I hope they can provide you with some measure of comfort during this time. Big hugs to you and your family.

[xtwheeler]

Thank you, pinkie and BitterApple :)

My mom and dad will have been married 50 years this summer, and watching her lose him bit by bit is the hardest. We met with the hospice workers yesterday, and I have not ever met more positive, wonderful, comforting, lovely people, ever. I cannot imagine what kind of personality and spirit they must have that leads them to do this work, but were I not an athiest, I would certainly think those people I've met so far are angels on earth.  Seeing the comfort they brought to my mom in just a few minutes was amazing.  They just radiated love and concern, and were so kind and gentle with my dad.

Thank you for the love. I've followed along with you all, if that can be said in a non-creepy way LOL, so I'm glad to finally participate here. <3

[Micks Picks]

@XTwheeler  I am so sorry and truly hurt for your current pain, and that of your mother.  I don't know how these things can happen, and do happen, so often.  May your dad find peace.  He should have lived much longer in good health.  Love to you and yours.

[xtwheeler]

2 hours ago, Micks Picks said:

@XTwheeler  I am so sorry and truly hurt for your current pain, and that of your mother.  I don't know how these things can happen, and do happen, so often.  May your dad find peace.  He should have lived much longer in good health.  Love to you and yours.

Thank you. <3 None of this should have happened.  Part of what I hate is that I have a LOT of experience picking apart medical malpractice and there was certainly more than enough to go around with my dad's care (starting with not x-raying the hip of a 73 year old fall victim with osteoporosis arriving by ambulance).  The rub is that knowing the care he received failed on so many levels so many times doesn't change the fact he is going to die.  I can sue them all into oblivion, and I will never ever get the one thing I want, which is just one more season of watching Dodger baseball with my daddy.  I'll eventually report everyone and everything to the appropriate regulatory agencies. I just hate that the quality of care he received, even with my husband and me there virtually every day, going over his medical chart every day, sending them to friends & family in health care and riding his providers aggressively to get him care and he STILL fell through the cracks. 

ETA: the suing someone part of this is utterly irrelevant in the grand scheme of anything, of course. Its only import is its leverage to prevent what happened to my dad happening to anyone else. 

Edited February 17, 2017 by xtwheeler

[lookeyloo]

@xtwheeler - so sorry to hear about your dad. What a mess to have happened to him and your family.  I hope that through the hospice workers things go as peacefully and comfortably as possible but - it still sucks big time.  Sending hugs. 

[crazycatlady58]

Xtwheeler, my thoughts are with you and your loved ones. You did/are doing your best to protect your dad he is lucky to have you in his corner.

[Minivanessa]

@xtwheeler, I'm so sorry. Your dad *is* lucky to have you, and I'm sorry for all the sh*t he (and you all) have been through. 

[Love2dance]

So sorry, @xtwheeler. Glad the "angels on earth" hospice workers are there to bring you and your parents comfort.

[ChaChaSlide]

Quote

 

After I posted this, I knew about him saying "no blood", but later went to Wiki to read about the extent of her injuries..a 400 foot trail of her bleeding out as well as ER doctors gave up after an hour told me that it might not have made a difference anyway. I wasn't aware of his machinations to cut Chris out of what was rightfully his. Makes me despise Sr. Q. even more than I did before

So sad that such a beautiful young woman was senselessly and tragically cut down in the fullness of her flower. I don't really care for Tejano music, but my eyes start tearing up every time I watch her.

Thanks for filling in the missing info.

 

I am a huge Selena fan being from Texas, and I've always thought Abraham was strange to say the least. His obsession with Selena is odd and disturbing on many levels, but what bothers me most is the way he's monetized her image. Like the movie and the museum are one thing, but the $3 per minute hotline to leave the family condolences, the hologram tour, and the Visa prepaid scam card in her image are purely grift worthy actions. 

In regards to Chris and the lost rights to Selena's image and estate, on the one hand I can understand where Abraham as well as the rest of her family were coming from: Chris was a very young man when he became a widower, and they (rightfully) assumed that he would go on to remarry and have kids with someone else. Chris went on to divorce his wife, and if it had not been for him having no rights to Selena's image, the ex wife could've walked away with half of the empire of a woman she never even met. The entire Quintanilla family worked and sacrificed for 15+ years before Chris even came into the picture, so it would've been wrong for another woman to come up off of their hard work. On the other hand, I don't think it's so much about money for Abraham as it is about control. He truly believed Selena was his mind, body (sick) and spirit, it probably incensed him that she was married and that there were parts of her, as a married woman, that he will never know. I don't think he ever accepted Selena and Chris' relationship and I don't  think he ever will.

[Arwen Evenstar]

No, I don't think he ever did. They had to elope. I can understand his desire to keep her assets in the family, since they did go through considerable expense to get her where she got. His obsession with her was squicky o say the least.

[Sew Sumi]

Can I change the subject and inject some humor for a sec? I'm watching a hockey game right now and heard a term for the penalty box that I'd never heard before: 

The Sin Bin

Can this be the new Prayer Closet? Pretty Please? :D

[Arwen Evenstar]

20 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Can I change the subject and inject some humor for a sec? I'm watching a hockey game right now and heard a term for the penalty box that I'd never heard before: 

The Sin Bin

Can this be the new Prayer Closet? Pretty Please? :D

That would be awesome! I love to watch hockey and I've heard it called that before. Had forgotten about it until you mentioned it again. 

[Sew Sumi]

What's weird is that I am watching a San Jose Sharks' game, and this is their primary announcer. He has NEVER used the term that I've heard. But he has a national audience tonight (competing with the NBA AllStar game, good luck!). But still, I've have watched hockey for 30 years and never heard that. LMAO because I immediately went to my own personal prayer closet, because normal people wouldn't make that Duggar connection. 

HELP! 

[ginger90]

Back in my days of misbehaving,  hockey with the sound off and blaring music playing was everything, lol! It was as if it were synchronized!