Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Absolom]

Heh, when the Arkie natives say they've seen cameras, it's time to run or stick our heads in the sand.  My fundie-lite neighbors have all disavowed the Duggars.

[Wellfleet]

You know you're getting old when: you go pee in the middle of the night, get done and lean over for toilet paper, and more pee comes out. (Where is that second pool hiding???). That's not good... What if you're already standing (walking, in the process of sitting down somewhere else) when that magic second reservoir tips??? How long do you wait for the second trickle to manifest before you feel safe? Do you rock around on the toilet to make sure there's nothing else hiding?

Other oddness: You refuse to wear granny panties, but there are absolutely no underwear currently being manufactured that you do want to wear. (Therefore, ALL your underwear is older than your oldest child - mine being almost 37). A quiet night in with a warm blankey, no grands and a good book sounds like heaven. (I went to a bar about 5 years ago to celebrate my BIL's bday. Whaaaa----..., did I DOOOOO that? Really, did I ever??? I thought I was a wild, happening chick back in the day. Now, I just want to be out of there). You vaguely remember your mom griping about your music (LYnard Skynard, Elton John, Bad Company) and have to sit on your tongue to keep from sounding just like her now. You know EXACTLY on the dial where is the station that plays Bob Seger, Hall and Oats, and Pat Bennatar. (You grands make faces at your "oldies". HORRORS!!!). Commercials about heartburn are no longer funny. Neither is the table full of moms ogling the butt of a fit young man who stands up to greet one of them by name (because he's a friend of her son's). And instead of blowing off pain relief commercials, itchy skin remedies and big girl bras - sometimes we write the product names down when no one is looking.

It could be worse - I hear that Alzheimer's patients actually nod in understanding at the ED commercial that ends with the two lovers in two separate tubs sitting on a hill in the sunset holding hands across the expanse. I'm not there yet. Does anybody "get" that?

 

The one-tub-to-a-customer ED commercial? OMG - NO IDEA what that ad genius had in mind. Been scratching my head over that one ever since I first saw it. What were they thinking - that WE'D be thinking?

[Westiepeach]

You know you're getting old when: you go pee in the middle of the night, get done and lean over for toilet paper, and more pee comes out. (Where is that second pool hiding???). That's not good... What if you're already standing (walking, in the process of sitting down somewhere else) when that magic second reservoir tips??? How long do you wait for the second trickle to manifest before you feel safe? Do you rock around on the toilet to make sure there's nothing else hiding?

Other oddness: You refuse to wear granny panties, but there are absolutely no underwear currently being manufactured that you do want to wear. (Therefore, ALL your underwear is older than your oldest child - mine being almost 37). A quiet night in with a warm blankey, no grands and a good book sounds like heaven. (I went to a bar about 5 years ago to celebrate my BIL's bday. Whaaaa----..., did I DOOOOO that? Really, did I ever??? I thought I was a wild, happening chick back in the day. Now, I just want to be out of there). You vaguely remember your mom griping about your music (LYnard Skynard, Elton John, Bad Company) and have to sit on your tongue to keep from sounding just like her now. You know EXACTLY on the dial where is the station that plays Bob Seger, Hall and Oats, and Pat Bennatar. (You grands make faces at your "oldies". HORRORS!!!). Commercials about heartburn are no longer funny. Neither is the table full of moms ogling the butt of a fit young man who stands up to greet one of them by name (because he's a friend of her son's). And instead of blowing off pain relief commercials, itchy skin remedies and big girl bras - sometimes we write the product names down when no one is looking.

It could be worse - I hear that Alzheimer's patients actually nod in understanding at the ED commercial that ends with the two lovers in two separate tubs sitting on a hill in the sunset holding hands across the expanse. I'm not there yet. Does anybody "get" that?

Happy, I love you. I do think you are my most favorite person in the world right now.

[Arwen Evenstar]

You know you're getting old when: you go pee in the middle of the night, get done and lean over for toilet paper, and more pee comes out. (Where is that second pool hiding???). That's not good... What if you're already standing (walking, in the process of sitting down somewhere else) when that magic second reservoir tips??? How long do you wait for the second trickle to manifest before you feel safe? Do you rock around on the toilet to make sure there's nothing else hiding?

Other oddness: You refuse to wear granny panties, but there are absolutely no underwear currently being manufactured that you do want to wear. (Therefore, ALL your underwear is older than your oldest child - mine being almost 37). A quiet night in with a warm blankey, no grands and a good book sounds like heaven. (I went to a bar about 5 years ago to celebrate my BIL's bday. Whaaaa----..., did I DOOOOO that? Really, did I ever??? I thought I was a wild, happening chick back in the day. Now, I just want to be out of there). You vaguely remember your mom griping about your music (LYnard Skynard, Elton John, Bad Company) and have to sit on your tongue to keep from sounding just like her now. You know EXACTLY on the dial where is the station that plays Bob Seger, Hall and Oats, and Pat Bennatar. (You grands make faces at your "oldies". HORRORS!!!). Commercials about heartburn are no longer funny. Neither is the table full of moms ogling the butt of a fit young man who stands up to greet one of them by name (because he's a friend of her son's). And instead of blowing off pain relief commercials, itchy skin remedies and big girl bras - sometimes we write the product names down when no one is looking.

It could be worse - I hear that Alzheimer's patients actually nod in understanding at the ED commercial that ends with the two lovers in two separate tubs sitting on a hill in the sunset holding hands across the expanse. I'm not there yet. Does anybody "get" that?

Good one, Happy. I had to laugh at the pee story.

When I hit 45, I told my mom...OMG...you won't believe what happened today...Mom, I sneezed, farted, and peed my pants all at once!

My British mom, without missing a beat told ne that"oh, right now, you're only just showing off...wait a few years...then you won't get a choice! Sorry if that was TMI...but I hope you all had a giggle over it.

[Barb23]

I'm not sure who recommended the adult Dot to Dot books a while back, but a big thank you goes out to them. I got one for my sister as part of her birthday gifts & she loved it! She had never seen or heard of the adult version. It even passed my 16 yr old niece's approval & she'll be getting one for her birthday. A family friend we grew up with joined us for our dinner last night. She & my sister are already making plans to have a Girl's Dot to Dot night. They decided they'll need a big bottle of wine, chocolates & some strong Readers to work on them but can't wait.

It's funny, cuz I contemplated giving her the book, figuring she would think it was dumb but she's into puzzles & the adult coloring books so I figured what the heck & included with her other gifts. Little did I realize, it was going to be the "it" gift. Same thing happened at Xmas. A snack mix I gave my nephew & cousins also turned out to be a hit when I was indecisive in giving them. I've had it work the other way too. A gift I thought the recipient would love wasn't greatly received.

Edited February 28, 2016 by Barb23

[Happyfatchick]

When I hit 45, I told my mom...OMG...you won't believe what happened today...Mom, I sneezed, farted, and peed my pants all at once!

Look at you, all multitalented!!!!

Barb, I feel ya. I'm a good gifter - I spend GREAT AMOUNTS OF VALUABLE TIME coming up with EXACTLY the right thing. Sometimes I make it (because I like those best myself) and wait with the anticipation of a little child "here, let me help you open that!". I made my daughter a recipe book once and interlaced childhood pics of all three of my kids, and some of the grands with food all over their faces. It was a hole lot of work, artsy and time consuming. I thought she'd have a pee-pee FIT. She said, "aw, that's nice". Over the years, I've given my husband a recliner, a boat, a golf membership and a truck, and I swear, he's had the same reaction as the year I gave him socks. (I'm not making that up). But one year I gave my bestie a little album of his daughter's wedding (knowing he's such a BOY he missed the deadline for ordering pics). He CRIED. One year on his birthday I gave him a new pair of workboots. Not just "any" workboots, but the specific kind he loves and has completely worn out. He said, "I'm scared to open the box, I'm afraid you're teasing me!" Sigh. You just never know.

[GeeGolly]

We tease my husband because his most favorite gifts are ones that he usually responds after opening them with, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

 

He really is a sweet guy, but sometimes I wanna smack him.

[Love2dance]

Awwww, HAPPYFATCHICK and GEE GOLLY, I am so with you. So, my hubby and I have kinda given up. We exchange fun and/or romantic cards, but our "presents" to each other are a weekend in Vegas or somewhere close by, or something similar. Short on imagination, but we are both sure to have fun. And no more disappointment for the giver or receiver.

[zoomama]

hi everyone. havent been here much lately. been out looking at houses....tryi9ng to decide if we can buy or should we still rent. its a chore, let me tell you. cali real estate is $$$.  later this evening, we have massages scheduled. its mostly for me -- i have had a headache for over a week. i know its tension mostly so a good massage will help and i might actually sleep good tonight.

[NikSac]

Good one, Happy. I had to laugh at the pee story.

When I hit 45, I told my mom...OMG...you won't believe what happened today...Mom, I sneezed, farted, and peed my pants all at once!

My British mom, without missing a beat told ne that"oh, right now, you're only just showing off...wait a few years...then you won't get a choice! Sorry if that was TMI...but I hope you all had a giggle over it.

Lol. Apparently I'm an early learner. I managed to do all of the above at 42.

Thank you for the giggle even if it meant I had to go change clothes.

[BOOgen3]

I'm not sure who recommended the adult Dot to Dot books a while back, but a big thank you goes out to them. I got one for my sister as part of her birthday gifts & she loved it! She had never seen or heard of the adult version. It even passed my 16 yr old niece's approval & she'll be getting one for her birthday. A family friend we grew up with joined us for our dinner last night. She & my sister are already making plans to have a Girl's Dot to Dot night. They decided they'll need a big bottle of wine, chocolates & some strong Readers to work on them but can't wait.

It was me that recommended the Dot to Dot books. Always happy to share a guilty pleasure with others. I have even given these Dot to Dot books to my father as gifts. He is 87 with vascular dementia but can still navigate numbers and enjoys these books as well.

[Barb23]

It was me that recommended the Dot to Dot books. Always happy to share a guilty pleasure with others. I have even given these Dot to Dot books to my father as gifts. He is 87 with vascular dementia but can still navigate numbers and enjoys these books as well.

Thanks again!!

[Porkchop]

I'm interested in buying some dot-to-dot books for friends. There are hundreds of them on Amazon. Can someone recommend a particular title? The covers are mostly in color, making me wonder if they are coloring books as well as dot to dot? I think I'd prefer books that are just puzzles. Opinions please ... and thanks in advance!

[Barb23]

Pork chop - I got my book on a site called LTD Commodities.com. it's one of those sites that sells all different kinds of household/ gift items (aka junk), like Harriet Carter, the Paragon, What on Earth, etc. Their prices are cheap & I've gotten a lot of gifts there. Like Mr Barb says, they sell the useless crap that will become yard sale fodder in a few years. But I like it. They sell only one Adult Dot to Dot book for $4.98 which seems cheaper than most. It has different categories (what I remember) like landmarks, sports, etc.

[Happyfatchick]

Update: I haven't said anything about my lost-her-mind daughter (the missionary) returning to Nicaragua lately. The "board" (yep, the same board of directors that told me to "go away, don't worry about the family, we got this" last fall) actually stepped up to the plate for once. They have told the missionaries they can't go back to Nica until they have at least $1000 more per month pledged for support, have the cash to purchase a vehicle down there, and obtain health insurance. Yay BOD!!! Who knew??? Someone actually has an operating brain. So they're stuck in the states for awhile, unhappy, pouting, posting instagrams how they're being "tried and tested". My baby girl hasn't discussed this with me, personally, so I'm waiting for it to come up and hoping I can formulate a better reaction than the one closest to the surface. [although I DID offer to help with her resume, in case she decides to get a, you know... JOB]

I posted that because I thought someone might be curious why I'm not having a Zika-threat flavored meltdown.

Mama continues to slowly slide off the map. Poor baby. She can no longer chew her food, so she's on all soft squishy foods. I had lunch duty yesterday, and got 4 bites of yogurt beyond her lips before the gate closed. (But still pooping like a champ. How is it possible to have 2-3 times more waste than food going in?). It is torture to see her like this. Truly. Her hands are drawing, and legs are wasted to sticks. But no pressure sores in all this time. Isn't that nuts?

ETA: she hasn't been able to complete a sentence for awhile. She says 2 words and goes blank and can't remember that she said anything. Yesterday she said to me "I need a...an...ahhh." I can't resist trying to see "where" she is, so I said, "what, Mama? What is it you need?" She stares at me for a second and says, "an eraser". Okaaaaay. How random was that?? I mean, a gas cap, a dandelion, a hat. An eraser.

Edited February 29, 2016 by Happyfatchick

[lookeyloo]

Happy - sounds almost like good news/bad news but both situations are sad. It's hard to watch a loved one slip away (saw mother in law recently who is in same process) and watch an able bodied loved one choose in a way to slip away. Maybe good sense will prevail with your daughter.

[CherryMalotte]

I'm very glad the daughter is kinda stay put right now Happy.  If the idiot SIL really had some 'mission' in him he'd get a job and raise the money himself.  

 

I want to thank ya'll for your good wishes.  Really, when people have good news here I'm happy for you all, even if I don't comment on it, just as I have a good thought for those in need.  I'm just so exhausted lately on and off - today being one of the tired tired tired days.  Had to take my dad up to Hines for a doc visit, but thankfully other than getting his hearing aid in a couple of weeks that's the last for a spell.  He's supposed to have some labs and some stupid scan on the 23rd of March but I'm calling this week and rescheduling til April.  He ain't as sick as all that no matter how much he complains.  My mom went from the hospital to the nursing home and had her second chemo treatment today.  I'll see her tomorrow as I have to call SS with her present to get a couple of forms.  I thank heavens for her nurses and docs at the hospital, they were very patient with me and basically listened when I said there's no way I wanted her home with my useless father.  So she's in the nursing facility for 20 days or so, she'll be getting her strength back slowly and in good care for those first chemo treatments.  

 

Today I snapped at my father, he made some comment on how he needs blood work and to be back in this particular doc office in three months, and how 'he doesn't need this right now' - to which I turned on him and said 'I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!!!'  Honestly, he does have a couple of people that have offered to take him up to his VA hospital, and I may have to do that or I'm going to be tempted to slam into a friggin semi next time he's in the car with me and bitching about how he needs cataract surgery. 

Edited March 1, 2016 by CherryMalotte

[Micks Picks]

What is "up Hines"?  

 

Life sucks sometimes.  My husband's illness in some ways is a blur.  But it has left me shell shocked to this day.  I can't cope for myself anymore.  Maybe if your dad had cataract surgery he could drive.  I don't know.  Sounds like you are shell shocked too.  Best wishes to you.  We do what we must while we can.

[Love2dance]

I posted that because I thought someone might be curious why I'm not having a Zika-threat flavored meltdown.

Mama continues to slowly slide off the map. Poor baby.

HAPPYFATCHICK, I WAS concerned about your daughter and grands being in Zita territory. Any chance that the missionary board will refuse to continue to send young families to the affected areas? Fingers crossed.

So, so sorry to hear about your mom's worsening condition. Sending continued hugs and support.

[Micks Picks]

HFX, where is the family staying?  Didn't they sell their house and get rid of all their possessions?   I didn't think they were gone long, but it seemed he managed to get himself a scooter or something and had a deal on a truck.  What kind of health insurance do you get for being a foreigner in Nicaragua?  In some countries, if you get sick while you are there your U.S. insurance won't pay but the other country does, no charge.  I only learned that recently.  Only some countries, and boy are they getting a lot of sick visitors.  One would think that would have to change.  

[kokapetl]

Nicaragua has a per capita GDP of $2,000, the public healthcare system they have is going to be relatively limited by the amount of tax revenue. But on the plus side, the cost of private Nicaraguan healthcare and health insurance is gonna look like an unbelievable bargain to an American.

[GeeGolly]

What is "up Hines"?  

 

Life sucks sometimes.  My husband's illness in some ways is a blur.  But it has left me shell shocked to this day.  I can't cope for myself anymore.  Maybe if your dad had cataract surgery he could drive.  I don't know.  Sounds like you are shell shocked too.  Best wishes to you.  We do what we must while we can.

Hang in there Mick and others. Warm and fuzzy thoughts for you all.

[becca3891]

It was a few pages back, but whoever recommended "I Fired God" -- thank you.  I read it in a little under 4 hours, though I was so upset at the FIRST page I almost couldn't begin it.  I've got "Girl at the End of the World" as well, but I think I'm going to need a break between reading them as its so frustratingly upsetting.

"Girl at the End of the World" was fascinating, but not as upsetting for me as "I Fired God." I was on a roll after seeing the recommendations here recently, though, and am now reading "Escape," by Carolyn Jessop, who escaped the polygamist fundamentalist Mormon spin-off cult after having been in a forced marriage and having eight children. It's pretty upsetting but also fascinating.

 

Ummmm...Commercials are wasted on me. I LOVE a good commercial (no, seriously, I DOOO!!!). But I NEVER can cough up the product. I describe commercials (act them out) but can't ever say what the product is. My fave for a long time (the first 25,000 times anyway) was the guy in a shoutout with his mom calling on the phone. "There are squirrels in the attic again". Flipping the pages of her magazine...ha! I'm over that one now. I think it's insurance. It's my ADD. I only have the attention span for 30 seconds or less. I'd be a great reviewer for commercials. Are there focus groups for that?

Also: we don't talk politics here, and it's a rule, and I won't break it. But I soooooo could! you guys are my peeps and it drives me nuts not to know what you're thinking right now. Trump's hair is a separate entity from his politics right? (Sigh). I guess not.

I was SO hoping you guys were were kidding (or at least speculating) about the Duggars return. Guess I had my head in the sand about that one. :O

Haha, I hope it's safe to laugh at Donald Trump's hair, but maybe it's not.

[CherryMalotte]

What is "up Hines"?

 

I'm sorry, I've corrected myself, to the VA.  Actually I'd have no problem with him getting his eyes fixed if it were a couple of months from now and I knew more about where my mom is going to be, in hospice or in chemo.  If he was a help and not such a selfish jerk (a condition he's had for decades)  that would go a long way too.  He's put out right now that my mother doesn't want any visitors, he wants to pick up the phone and call one of his friends to take him to the home every day.  She doesn't want that, and he's chaffing under what she wants, instead of what he wants.  

 

Oh well...I keep telling myself that this is the new normal!

[Love2dance]

I'm sorry, I've corrected myself, to the VA.  Actually I'd have no problem with him getting his eyes fixed if it were a couple of months from now and I knew more about where my mom is going to be, in hospice or in chemo.  If he was a help and not such a selfish jerk (a condition he's had for decades)  that would go a long way too.  He's put out right now that my mother doesn't want any visitors, he wants to pick up the phone and call one of his friends to take him to the home every day.  She doesn't want that, and he's chaffing under what she wants, instead of what he wants.  

 

Oh well...I keep telling myself that this is the new normal!

Oh my, CherryMalotte, it is hard enough to deal with one family member's difficult situation. Two seems overwhelming to me. Hope your mom is able to handle the chemo, and your dad settles down. (Unlikely, I know mine never did.) Sending hugs and comforting thoughts your way.

[Obsidian]

Wow, I just read 'I Fired God' which I saw on this forum and immediately reserved from the library. Since my introduction to independent fundamental Baptists is from the Duggars, I thought of them all the way through, wondering if that happened in their family, what other skeletons they're hiding behind their joyful countenances. So many times I thought "the Duggars do/say that!" I knew what people hiding under the security of 'religion' were capable of and able to do, but how lucky I am to not really comprehend the degree, scale and enormity of it.

 

Anything else I should read?

[Honeycocoa]

"Unorthodox: the Scandalous Rejection of my Hassidic Roots"  by Deborah Feldman was pretty good.  I also liked "Escape" by Carolyn Jessop - not so much her second book.  And other books to recommend?

 

Hang in there Cherry Malotte! Can your dad see his friends without bugging your mom?  Just to get him out of your hair for a while...

HFC, so glad to here your daughter and grandchildren are back in the first world and the BOD is being responsible!

[Obsidian]

"Unorthodox: the Scandalous Rejection of my Hassidic Roots"  by Deborah Feldman was pretty good.  I also liked "Escape" by Carolyn Jessop - not so much her second book.  And other books to recommend?

 

Hang in there Cherry Malotte! Can your dad see his friends without bugging your mom?  Just to get him out of your hair for a while...

HFC, so glad to here your daughter and grandchildren are back in the first world and the BOD is being responsible!

Thanks for the recommendations! 'I Fired God' was my first 'cult' memoir/autobiography, but I've got a Sri Chinmoy and a Jehovah's Witness memoir to read.

[Muffyn]

I recommend Confessions of  a Teenage Jesus Jerk by Tony DuShane.  It is both powerful and very sad.  His experiences are similar to those of my niece whose father is Jehovah's Witness.  As with many of these cults, many abusive people hide in them since they can use the religion to justify their behavior.  

[Missy Vixen]

I read a book several years ago called "Secret Ceremonies" which details the life of a woman who ended up leaving the Mormon Church. She also goes into great detail about what happens when one is "married in the Temple", which caused all kinds of problems for her with Mormon Church leadership.

 

I'm still trying to finish a book, but I was thrilled to see that former members of Mars Hill Church in Seattle have filed a RICO suit against the former pastor, Mark Driscoll, and his CEO "pastor", Sutton Turner. And I hope justice will be served.

[Readalot]

I recommend Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk by Tony DuShane. It is both powerful and very sad. His experiences are similar to those of my niece whose father is Jehovah's Witness. As with many of these cults, many abusive people hide in them since they can use the religion to justify their behavior.

Thanks! I was raised a JW, I need to read this. The reviews on Amazon are great too. I have a feeling I will be "been there, done that" while reading.

[Obsidian]

Brilliant - I've got lots to check out and read. Thanks for all the suggestions!

[Happyfatchick]

Micks, they are currently in her MIL's basement. Which is full of 20 years worth of hoarding, and the 4 kids. And whatever paraphernalia the kids and adults have collected on this trip home. The FIL in this case works in another state and is only home on weekends - and my daughter, husband and kids scatter like rats when he comes home. (He's not a fan; go figure). I've wondered (but not asked) if my daughter and SIL make any contribution to the grocery or light bill.

My mom has been temporarily relocated to the actual hospice facility. Luckily, it is very close (5 miles?) to my house. We were having issues due to blood sugars, which are now resolved. Hopefully we can transport her home tomorrow. Her kidneys seem to be shutting down (poor babies are tired). She's swelling and her output is very, very low and dark. I'm still torn between 2 worlds. I want her to be done with all this, yet I want her to stay. And seriously, remember when everybody had those little bands that said WWJD? I need one that says WWDD, because everything I do or say or decide is regulated by What Would Daddy Do? In my particular faith, we believe our loved ones have gone on to heaven before us and are waiting and watching from above. Every single day of my life, I "feel" my Daddy watching (grading) me. One day I'll see him again, and for the last 4 years (and the 5 before that, when I was caring for HIM), my main goal has been to hear him say one day, "you did good, baby girl". That's it. I don't care about the mansion or the jeweled streets, don't really care about anybody else up there. I want that guy to see me coming and greet me with open arms and a big fat happy grin, and to hear him say, "you did good".

And of course, that has the undercurrent that when Mama is gone, he'll immediately not be grading my care at all. THEN I'll go be a hooker on Peachtree Street, do drugs, SELL drugs, be a madam, mistreat animals and small children for fun and rob a bank, and he'll still be happy to see me when my day comes.

The lady next door has lost her person named John. Allllllll day, she calls for John. Amazingly, it varies with each episode. Sometimes she's irritated as hell: JOHN! JOHN! JOHN! JOHN! [like John has the tv up too high and she needs toilet paper, but there is certainty John is nearby]. There's the scared version: John!! John!! [where John must have left her alone in the dark]. John the question: Joooohn??? Joooohn??? [oh come on, I KNOW you're here, where ARE you?]. And the worst: the crying one where there is some realization that John, in fact, is not coming: JOHN!!!.....(sob)JOHN!!! This is a wonderful facility, though. Beautiful and clean, absent the routine busy noises of a hospital. Caring nurses and aides. Today a volunteer came by before lunch and asked if she could make me a plate. It's the smallest things sometimes.

Edited March 3, 2016 by Happyfatchick

[crazycatlady58]

Micks, they are currently in her MIL's basement. Which is full of 20 years worth of hoarding, and the 4 kids. And whatever paraphernalia the kids and adults have collected on this trip home. The FIL in this case works in another state and is only home on weekends - and my daughter, husband and kids scatter like rats when he comes home. (He's not a fan; go figure). I've wondered (but not asked) if my daughter and SIL make any contribution to the grocery or light bill.

My mom has been temporarily relocated to the actual hospice facility. Luckily, it is very close (5 miles?) to my house. We were having issues due to blood sugars, which are now resolved. Hopefully we can transport her home tomorrow. Her kidneys seem to be shutting down (poor babies are tired). She's swelling and her output is very, very low and dark. I'm still torn between 2 worlds. I want her to be done with all this, yet I want her to stay. And seriously, remember when everybody had those little bands that said WWJD? I need one that says WWDD, because everything I do or say or decide is regulated by What Would Daddy Do? In my particular faith, we believe our loved ones have gone on to heaven before us and are waiting and watching from above. Every single day of my life, I "feel" my Daddy watching (grading) me. One day I'll see him again, and for the last 4 years (and the 5 before that, when I was caring for HIM), my main goal has been to hear him say one day, "you did good, baby girl". That's it. I don't care about the mansion or the jeweled streets, don't really care about anybody else up there. I want that guy to see me coming and greet me with open arms and a big fat happy grin, and to hear him say, "you did good".

And of course, that has the undercurrent that when Mama is gone, he'll immediately not be grading my care at all. THEN I'll go be a hooker on Peachtree Street, do drugs, SELL drugs, be a madam, mistreat animals and small children for fun and rob a bank, and he'll still be happy to see me when my day comes.

The lady next door has lost her person named John. Allllllll day, she calls for John. Amazingly, it varies with each episode. Sometimes she's irritated as hell: JOHN! JOHN! JOHN! JOHN! [like John has the tv up too high and she needs toilet paper, but there is certainty John is nearby]. There's the scared version: John!! John!! [where John must have left her alone in the dark]. John the question: Joooohn??? Joooohn??? [oh come on, I KNOW you're here, where ARE you?]. And the worst: the crying one where there is some realization that John, in fact, is not coming: JOHN!!!.....(sob)JOHN!!! This is a wonderful facility, though. Beautiful and clean, absent the routine busy noises of a hospital. Caring nurses and aides. Today a volunteer came by before lunch and asked if she could make me a plate. It's the smallest things sometimes.

HFC I have no doubt whatsoever you daddy will greet you this a bIG YOU DID GREAT ! And an even bigger hug. I also belive you will have two people watching over you. My faith also tells me this , it is a wonderful comfort. Edited March 3, 2016 by crazycatlady58

[wilsie]

 

"you did good, baby girl"

You need to have that printed somewhere where it's the first thing you see every day because, Happy, you have done an amazing job with all your family, especially your mama and daddy.  I'm so glad your mama is in a good facility with caring people.  It's a little more peace of mind.  And I believe that love doesn't die when someone passes.  I still talk to my mom after 22 years.  Not as often as in the beginning, but I still know that love in my life.  I hope you have such peace about the people you've looked out for.  You are an incredibly loving, kind, wise, and really funny person.  Bless the woman who's missing John.  And bless you and everyone you love.

[emma675]

HFC, if it helps, "you're doing good, baby girl". You're in the worst situation possible and you're doing better than most of us could hope to. Your dad would be so proud.

[Happyfatchick]

Last night after I posted, I had one of those silly (been awake too long) moments that could only be funny on a replay inside my own head. But I'ma share it anyway.

Each one of these vocals had a pause between it.

JOHN!!! JOOOOOOHN! John!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm gonna DIE!!!

I WANNA DIE!!!

I.want.to.die.!!!!!!!!!

Longer pause, then.

Please, PLEASE DONT LET ME DIE!!!!!!

Here's how I heard that:

JOHN!JOHN!JOHN!

I WANNA DIE!

I WANT TO DIE!!!

[oh dear... I wonder if anyone heard that??? Uh oh. What if JESUS heard that?]

Please, PLEASE DONT LET ME DIE!!!!!

Always looking for the silver lining, I am. I'm thankful Mama isn't making a noisy departure, although last week when I was turning her on her side in the bed, she did yell "get her OUTTA HERE!!!" And in a second, she said, "I'm calling the PO-leece!!!" Which is very common in rural areas, the PO-Leece - but we've NEVER used that pronunciation. Made me wonder if her South Georgia had surfaced. She came home today. WOOPWOOP!!!

[MunichNark]

Damn you whoever it was who first mentioned "I fired God"........I downloaded a sample yesterday and bought the book earlier today and spent most of the day reading it. Just after finishing.

 

It's truly  an eye opener, even though I've more or less followed the Smuggars for a few years now (it's official, I AM a saddo), I don't think I've ever experienced such an insight into this strange and horrifying world. What a shambles.

 

A must read for each and every one of us really, especially the leg humpers. Frightening to think that there are people still being raised like this.

[GeeGolly]

I downloaded a sample of I Fired God last night and bought the book last night. I'm about at the 3/4 mark. It's a good read but not at all what I thought. But that's just me, I get caught up in the hype about movies and books and always expect them to be more.

[BrianJ62]

RIP Nancy Reagan.

[BrianJ62]

Whose watching the Downton Abbey final episode tonight? I'm back at my to help my sisters helping take care of my BIL, tomorrow after his therapy she's going to have a massage/mani-pedi, while I BIL set.

[Love2dance]

Whose watching the Downton Abbey final episode tonight? I'm back at my to help my sisters helping take care of my BIL, tomorrow after his therapy she's going to have a massage/mani-pedi, while I BIL set.

Yup, watching Downton Abby tonight, and already so sad it is over. So hard to find a quality show without major blood, guts, gore and violent action.

Hope your SIL enjoys her well deserved pampering and you enjoy your time with recovering BIL.

Edited March 7, 2016 by Love2dance

[BrianJ62]

I'm also sad that Mythbusters is over.

[lookeyloo]

We watched the last Mythbusters episode and will miss it. Downton Abbey is recording so I can enjoy it when I am more awake. I'm looking forward to Mr Selfridge.

[NikSac]

Whose watching the Downton Abbey final episode tonight? I'm back at my to help my sisters helping take care of my BIL, tomorrow after his therapy she's going to have a massage/mani-pedi, while I BIL set.

 

Don't watch the show but I wanted to say it's so awesome of you to take care of BIL for awhile so sister can pamper herself. For her pampering might even just be being away from the house for 20 minutes, but a massage/mani/pedi sounds even better. Caretaking is hard. On behalf of your sister thank you for helping with it.

[BrianJ62]

Don't watch the show but I wanted to say it's so awesome of you to take care of BIL for awhile so sister can pamper herself. For her pampering might even just be being away from the house for 20 minutes, but a massage/mani/pedi sounds even better. Caretaking is hard. On behalf of your sister thank you for helping with it.

Thank you for the great note, it made my day.

[RedPonyDriver]

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: Took the test for construction/building inspector in the Operating Engineers apprenticeship. Passed it and have an oral interview on 3/22. 

[Readalot]

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: Took the test for construction/building inspector in the Operating Engineers apprenticeship. Passed it and have an oral interview on 3/22.

outstanding! Congrats and I wish you a successful interview!

[Barb23]

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: Took the test for construction/building inspector in the Operating Engineers apprenticeship. Passed it and have an oral interview on 3/22.

Congratulations!! Wishing you well on the interview.

Brian - glad to see you're posting & agree that your sister is lucky to have you around to help.

[Happyfatchick]

K (she says sheepishly because this has nothing to do with interviews or... you know... NEWS...) but in my never ending quest for underwear that FITS, doesn't ride, doesn't have high cut legs (is that just ME??? Why do they make so MANY of those?), isn't "boy cut", and fits like a second skin: I HAVE FOUND I!! I won't clog up the thread, but if you'd like to know the miracle middle-aged solution to (my version of) world peace, PM me, and I'll be happy to share. Still looking for the bra that holds up the girls, doesn't ride up in the back and doesn't make me want to throw it out the car window on a really bad day. [the girls are very heavy and have sincerely seen better days, but I was 13 and that's no joke]. Open for suggestions.

RedponyD: I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! You NEEDED a break. I hope it pans out and that the job is wonderful. Will they keep your test results and throw you back in the search if someone else gets the job?

Brian: the Angels in charge of mercy know your heart, and so do I. In fact, I'm thinking you may BE one.

Edited March 7, 2016 by Happyfatchick