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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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The last time I shopped for a new car was 2012. I knew what I wanted, and priced it out through the Costco auto program, and also IIRC through a buyer's service from Consumer Reports (I was a member at that time). Then I went to a local auto brokerage that worked closely with local credit unions. I got the car through them at the same price as the Costco/CR programs quoted me, and I didn't have to set foot in a dealership. The auto broker rep found the car I wanted, and it was delivered to the brokerage for me to test drive to decide if I wanted it. The broker rep worked with my credit union so I didn't have to mess with the dealership about financing. It was great.

Sadly, that brokerage closed up its sales operation last year. I think their business was hit too hard by the pandemic and subsequent severe shortages of vehicle inventories (new and used). The guy I worked with there (also on a used car deal last year) has moved to another brokerage. 

I'm not sure what the car buying landscape looks like, post-pandemic, but apparently the Costco auto program is still getting some good reviews. 

I hope to never have to do business with a car dealership again. If I do, and need financing, I'll pre-arrange it with my credit union before setting foot in a dealership. 

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13 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I hope to never have to do business with a car dealership again.

Same here - how I ended up with a Suburu was me going to about 15 dealerships of many brands by myself where absolutely 0 salesperson would even acknowledge I walked in the door, let alone show me a vehicle. I had a large down payment and an old saturn to trade in, but they never learned that because no one spoke to me at all.

Went in a second Suburu dealer and the salesperson apologized for being busy and asked if I could look at the vehicles for 15 min while he finished whatever. Had a test drive and bought the Crosstrek the next day.

Husbands attitude was "go pick the car you like and buy it", he felt no need to be involved and he shouldn't need to be. But when I went with him when he got a new vehicle he was swarmed at the door by salespeople. 🙄

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5 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

Same here - how I ended up with a Suburu was me going to about 15 dealerships of many brands by myself where absolutely 0 salesperson would even acknowledge I walked in the door, let alone show me a vehicle. I had a large down payment and an old saturn to trade in, but they never learned that because no one spoke to me at all.

Went in a second Suburu dealer and the salesperson apologized for being busy and asked if I could look at the vehicles for 15 min while he finished whatever. Had a test drive and bought the Crosstrek the next day.

Husbands attitude was "go pick the car you like and buy it", he felt no need to be involved and he shouldn't need to be. But when I went with him when he got a new vehicle he was swarmed at the door by salespeople. 🙄

I'm sad but not surprised that you were ignored at dealerships. Sigh. You'd think that in the 21st Century that kind of thing would be history. But, nope. I've gone to dealerships with serious intent to buy a car - and the clear title to my current car in my purse - and basically been blown off. One guy seemed to begrudge the idea of my having a test drive. IIRC he showed me one car and seemed to think I was wasting his precious time.

My last three car purchases (two new, one used) have been through auto brokers. I did enough homework to be fine with the prices, and financing was handled through my credit union so the terms were good. 

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I took my male neighbor with me when I went to buy a car. When we went to the finance part the guy kept calling me “Mrs”. I kept explaining that I was a Miss. He also looked at my neighbor as if he had approval about purchasing it. Did he get embarrassed when I said he didn’t need his approval. I was paying cash. If I didn’t want the car so badly (most don’t fit me as I’m so small) I should have walked out. 

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We had to go back to our dealer today to get the tags/plates, and we just walked right in without being acknowledged.  Our salesman was there, but he was on a call, so I just waved.  I will say this guy was the best, but there were still times he kinda ticked me off.  Mr. Six explained our situation and even told him this was going to be MY car, but he still kinda ignored me.  To be fair, I didn't have any questions, and he did apologize before we left.   (For anyone in the Maryland/Virginia area, I can give you the name of a dealer that you DO NOT want to work with😠).  We are now getting slammed nearly every single day with junk mail from 3rd party companies telling us we didn't buy *their* extended warranty.  No shit, Sherlock. I really dislike people like that taking advantage of others.

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@sixlets - I hear ya about the extended warranty junk mail! Last year I bought a used car (along with an extended warranty plan via the broker with a legit company). But omigosh for months afterwards I got that junk mail for extended warranty plans. Ugh.

BTW the extended warranty/service plan I bought, has seemed legit so far. I haven't had to put in a claim, but one thing came up, and they were easy to connect with on the phone, my mechanic shop also found them easy to deal with, so I'm feeling okay about it. (The matter at hand cost me not quite $250 to fix, and the deductible is $250, so no point in making a claim.) TBH I'm a bit nervous about the transmission on that vehicle, and this plan will certainly save me $$$ if that goes out. 

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On 4/20/2024 at 4:06 PM, Mindthinkr said:

I took my male neighbor with me when I went to buy a car. When we went to the finance part the guy kept calling me “Mrs”. I kept explaining that I was a Miss. He also looked at my neighbor as if he had approval about purchasing it. Did he get embarrassed when I said he didn’t need his approval. I was paying cash. If I didn’t want the car so badly (most don’t fit me as I’m so small) I should have walked out. 

How is the neighbor who was in the icu? 

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13 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I was on a criminal trial for a week back in the mid 90's. It was a really interesting case and experience. I was less interested when I received a federal district court summons 15 years later. Luckily, they didn't choose me and I only served one day. 

Last time I was picked was many many years ago. And I got $40. 

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I served on an ambulance chaser case. The most interesting part of the trial was that the defendant was dead. He'd admitted fault, so we awarded her for that. But she reinjured herself and was trying to get paid for that. I was very adamant that she not get any more than she deserved for the initial injury (neck, IIRC). We had a couple bleeding hearts who wanted to give her ALL THE CASH ( she was asking around $300kIIRC). That didn't happen. 

Edited by Salacious Kitty
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1 hour ago, Salacious Kitty said:

I had one last week. It used to be "one day, one trial," but now you're on call for an entire week. Thankfully, I wasn't needed, but I expect to be summoned again in 6 months. 🙄

I finally ran out of luck a few years ago and they chose me for the jury! It turned out to be an interesting experience, and the trial only lasted 4 days. 

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4 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

My lucky streak is over. I got a jury summons. 

I got jury summons last year, a few weeks after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I tried to defer online, but it wouldn't let me go the amount of time I needed (I had 20 weeks of chemo). So I called the office and as soon as I said I had cancer and was starting chemotherapy the person immediately jumped in and told me that I was dismissed, just have the oncologist fax over a note. And boom I was out of jury duty. 

The other time was in Fall River, MA and the bailiff pointed out we were very close to the Lizzie Borden House. I didn't even get sent in a group to be chosen and by the afternoon a whole bunch of us were sent home. 

Edited by frenchtoast
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The last time I was called for Jury Duty it was for passing bad checks.  The defendant was in the court room, and before jury selection started the judge asked if any of us knew the defendant, or any of the lawyers.  One woman raised her hand and, when asked by the judge who she knew, she stated that she new the defendant because he had passed a bad check in her store.  The entire room of prospective jurors was dismissed and we couldn't be recalled to jury duty until the following year.

Another time, after sitting in the court room for about an hour, the judge came out and told all of us that we were all dismissed.  He then asked one of the prospective jurors to come and talk to him.  Apparently, someone from the case spoke to this one woman, or the woman was talking about the case to other prospective jurors.  I never did find out what happened, but all 70 of us were sent home--jury service completed for the next 12 months.

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8 hours ago, awaken said:

My 18yo daughter just got a summons!  I have to check but I assume being in high school is a legitimate excuse!

When I was in college I  was called to serve on the Grand Jury.  I called them and said, I'm a college student.  Luckily I was dismissed because I don't think any of my professors would have been OK with me missing a month of classes.  

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I just got a jury summons too. About three years ago I got called when the court system began jury trials after closing for Covid in 2020. Ozziedad was in the middle of some health issues so I was dismissed. It was a civil case and seemed pretty boring based on what the judge had explained about it. Ozziedad is a retired prosecutor and I never even got called for jury duty when we lived up north. I’m interested in the process since I have heard about trials and jury selection from his angle. Maybe I’ll get a little further this time!

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I made it as far as sitting in the jury box. The judge came out and thanked us and told us we could leave. I never found out why. It was a drug case. I saw the original arrest in the paper but nothing after that. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I wonder if the defendant cut a plea deal in return for giving up information. And then law enforcement/prosecution wanted to protect their source, so they kept the case resolution on the downlow. Just a guess, based on (a) the dangers of being a snitch and (b) the need to protect an ongoing investigation. 

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When I was waiting to be called for selection in MA, the bailiff did mention that the case had been resolved via a plea deal or some type of negotiation. There were other cases being heard that day--some folks had been called to be selected--but the rest of us were allowed to leave as all had been resolved. 

I wouldn't mind sitting on a jury. But not when I was going through chemotherapy. I would have most likely nodded off at points. And I sure as hell didn't want to be being around a whole bunch of people with a weakened immune system. It was not something I could do at the time. I'm sure my name is back in the pool but I think illness is a good reason to miss jury duty. I'm just glad the clerk didn't question or harangue me about it. I was feeling shitty enough. 

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(edited)

My ADHD would never allow me to sit for 6 - 8 hours without interacting. I love trials and have recorded many. For me they're are a must see TV, so I find it kind of sad I can't serve on jury duty.

If they would let me raise my hand to ask questions and make comments, I'd be in my glory. I would be a judge's and lawyers' worst nightmare. 👩🏽‍⚖️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️😁

Edited by GeeGolly
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In non jury duty news and in random and wacky stuff that happens - we have a female mallard who is nesting in a shrub in the 2 ft between our front porch and garage door. I think there are probably eggs in the nest at this point, but trying to leave her be so not quite sure on that.

So far no male hanging around and the female seems not to care at all if we are out in the driveway or doing yard work.

We thought about doing a duck cam for the grands, but since we know there are fox and coyote in the area we thought maybe not.

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13 hours ago, Ancaster said:

I'm always curious as to why people try to get out of jury duty and rejoice when they can.  What kind of judicial system would they prefer?  And if they're ever on trial by jury, who would they like on that jury?

 

For me, it was always about not being able to afford to be away from work for long. What they pay doesn’t match most people’s hourly pay, and not everyone has paid time off work. 🤷‍♀️

54 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

My ADHD would never allow me to sit for 6 - 8 hours without interacting. I love trials and have recorded many. For me they're are a must see TV, so I find it kind of sad I can't serve on jury duty.

If they would let me raise my hand to ask questions and make comments, I'd be in my glory. I would be a judge's and lawyers' worst nightmare. 👩🏽‍⚖️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️😁

Haha I have ADHD too and did serve on a jury a few years ago. It wasn’t that bad. I don’t think we were ever actually seated in the jury box for more than 2 hours at a time, because of breaks, lunch, etc. Luckily, my trial only lasted 4 days and the last was short.

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Here jury duty is done 6 months at a time. I've never been summoned. My brother was last year, but he was never called during his 6 month period. A lot of people I talk to here say they get called but then never have a trial. I had assumed he would, though, because there was a murder trial scheduled during that time, but the trial fell apart after someone stopped cooperating. I guess they didn't have much evidence beyond that. 

My grandparents have both been called over the years. My grandmother tried to warn them that my grandfather was profoundly hard of hearing, but they insisted that he still had to show up for selection. After about a minute of interacting with him, they told him he was excused. LOL 

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Y'all haven't lived until you've been called for traffic court jury duty. I didn't know that was actually a thing until I got called. We were all automatically assigned to a jury, then we sat around all day waiting for someone to request a jury decision instead of a judge decision, and the jury waiting room was a tiny interior room with no windows, wooden benches, and no cell service. Only one person requested a jury trial and this was around 4pm, so we were all incredibly cranky by then. It also didn't help that this guy was driving a red Camaro and was trying to argue that the light was yellow when he blew through the intersection, while the video clearly showed it was red. Longest day of my life.

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(edited)
18 minutes ago, emma675 said:

Y'all haven't lived until you've been called for traffic court jury duty. I didn't know that was actually a thing until I got called. We were all automatically assigned to a jury, then we sat around all day waiting for someone to request a jury decision instead of a judge decision, and the jury waiting room was a tiny interior room with no windows, wooden benches, and no cell service. Only one person requested a jury trial and this was around 4pm, so we were all incredibly cranky by then. It also didn't help that this guy was driving a red Camaro and was trying to argue that the light was yellow when he blew through the intersection, while the video clearly showed it was red. Longest day of my life.

Wow, what a bummer for you. We don't have traffic court juries like that here. I'm surprised they exist because I think people who'd had your experience would rise up and demand that system be changed.

Our state jury system was revised back in the 90's. It's now "one day/one trial" - and it's much more juror-friendly than a lot of other systems.

  • You are summoned, and show up on the appointed day.
  • If by the end of that day you are not sitting in a courtroom involved in a case (either already selected for a jury or in the midst of jury selection) - you are DONESO. For the next 12 months. 
  • If you're in a courtroom at the end of day one and are selected for the jury, then of course you must serve for the length of the trial and deliberations. If you're in a courtroom at the end of day one and jury selection isn't completed, and you are eventually not selected to serve as a juror in that case, then you are done with jury duty for 12 months.

I've served on a jury on a civil case a long time ago and a DUI case a few years back. I was also summoned more recently, and ended up seated as a potential juror during voir dire in a serious personal injury case. I was excused for cause after asking to speak to the judge and lawyers outside the presence of everyone else. We went into chambers and I disclosed some personal history that I realized, after some thought, would have prejudiced my attitude to the point of making it unlikely that I could serve as a fair and impartial juror in the case. 

BTW, here's a tip. If you're a potential juror, sitting in the jury box and being questioned, and you have something you feel the need to say that you don't want to spill in open court? Ask the judge if you may speak to him and the lawyers privately. The judge will likely take you, the lawyers, and the court reporter, into chambers (the judge's office next to the courtroom) and you can have that conversation there. 

Edited by Jeeves
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I made it as far as the jury box I assumed I'd get picked because I was unemployed. But I got dimissed after the defense lawyer asked me if rape could ever be consential. Ah, hell no.

My parents' both serviced. My mom twice once for traffic violations and one for a DUI. My dad served on a murder trial. They both found ended up liking the experience. It was neat to see what a real trial was like. It was really, really hard not to ask my dad questions while he served. 

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My first experience with jury duty was kind of brutal. Literally took all day, from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Everyone was seated in the courtroom, a big crowd of people, and was questioned by the judge in groups. I was in the very LAST group called. Had to spend the entire day listening to all the excuses people made up to try to get out of serving (some of which were downright comical). 

I was chosen, was sworn in, and told that there would definitely be a trial. This was a drug case, the third strike in a three-strikes situation, so there would be no plea deal. Then, the night before the trial was to begin, I got a phone call saying the defendant...accepted a plea, and the trial was off. Never got an explanation.

Since then, I've been summoned three more times in two different states. Was told to call the night before and check if I needed to show up. All three times, I was told I wouldn't be needed, and I had fulfilled my obligation. 

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Our jury system has been revamped numerous times. Way, way back in the day you showed up for two weeks, 9 - 5 and stayed all day. Getting on a jury then was a good thing because otherwise you were just sitting around. Then it switched to fewer days, then even fewer days. Now its calling in the morning for a certain number of days, which I can't remember.

Funny (to me anyway) story. My mom always went by her middle name because as far as her family knew it was her only name. Her mom died when she was 7 and her oldest brother went to get her a birth certificate before she was sent to New England to stay/live with her sister at age 13. No one knows for sure why, but her brother added a name - which became her legal first name. She continued to use her (now) middle on everything and professionally, with the exception of her license and SS card. Long story longer while she was serving jury duty another one of her brothers died. My sister and I called the court to speak with her. We asked for her by her full name. The bailiff went to the room and kept calling her first name and of course she never answered. Finally the woman next to her looked at her name tag and said, the bailiff is calling you. My mom looked at her tag and was like, oh, ooh. 

(my mom was born on a farm in the tiniest of towns in OK, in the 30s, hence no record of her birth)

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2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

my mom was born on a farm in the tiniest of towns in OK, in the 30s, hence no record of her birth)

There's also not a birth certificate for one of grandma's aunts, who was born in the early 40s in the middle of nowhere in NC. I think it was to get a social security card, but for some document, she had to take her mother to the courthouse to confirm she was born on her birthday to her parents.

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I was called for jury duty years ago.  It was in the municipal court that doesn't have many trials, so they summon jurors only as needed.  As soon as I got there, they outlined the case, domestic violence, husband assaulted his estranged wife in front of kids during custody exchange.  I knew they were never calling me for that one but had to sit for 2 hours while they went through all of the prospective jurors with lower numbers.  Woman sitting next to me was a social worker and she knew she'd never be picked either.  One of the questions they were asking everyone was if, in the course of their work, they ever encountered victims of domestic violence or perpetrators, if we'd ever taken a course or seminar on the topic, had we ever recommended calling the police to someone who was a victim.  Yes, yes and yes.  Another question was whether we had any police officers in the family (the husband was claiming the police falsified the report or something). Well, I've got 7 cousins, an uncle and 2 cousin's spouses who are/were cops.  I did get $26 in cold, hard cash as I walked out after being dismissed.

The other time was for the county which calls up for a week.  They assign a number to all prospective jurors and then, you call in night before and they tell you what numbers have to come in.  By the third day, the message was that they weren't going to be needing anyone else for the pool, so I was dismissed. Never even got to go downtown.

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My incredibly large county finally upgraded its systems and now you call a number the day before and they tell you if you're dismissed. It's a nice change from the days of showing up only to be dismissed after an hour or so. I once got called for federal jury duty right after Covid, walked in the door, asked where jurors were supposed to go, and the lady told me all cases that day were postponed so I could go home. I was more irritated about getting up super early to go to a courthouse downtown I was unfamiliar with than I would have been had I gotten seated on a jury.

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I have been on both a murder trial and on the grand jury in which one of our indictments involved child molestation of a toddler. Rough stuff! In the murder trial, it involved a couple of drug dealers who got in a fight with each other over something petty. The court appointed defense attorney kept confusing his client's name with the victim's name. The prosecution put the victim's mother on the stand and showed her a picture of her deceased son and asked her what the picture was. She said, It’s my son....dead". Then she was dismissed. I didn't get the point of putting her through that. There was no disagreement that her son had died. The defendant was CLEARLY intellectually challenged but his lawyer didn't bring that up. During the testimony of one of the witnesses to the argument which preceded the shooting, there were references to other people who had been present by the names of " Ant Dog" and "Lil' Stink" ! When the jury went back to deliberate, we were handed a brown paper grocery sack with no explanation.  In the jury room, one of the gentlemen opened the bag and pulled out a blue plaid shirt covered in dried blood. We assumed it was the victim's but not sure WHY it was sent back with us. It was never mentioned in the trial or presented as evidence. We surely didn't need it. I was very proud of our jury. It was pretty clearly an open and shut case and we didn't get it until late afternoon.  We deliberated thoughtfully and carefully before coming to a verdict.  The child molestation case when I was on the grand jury was soul wrenching. Tears were streaming down many faces. On all the other indictments, after the District attorney presented their evidence,  our foreman would ask for a show of hands for those in favor of indictment.  On this one, after the presentation of the evidence, the foreman couldn't even speak, he was so choked up. We just all silently raised our hands, as we sat shell shocked. We continued sitting there in silence for a short time and the foreman got up and told the baliff we had to have a break. I hope to never be on a  grand jury that has a child molestation case again!

Edited by Liddy52
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I was sent a summons twice, and they were both while I was working.  I had to call in the night before, but my number was too high, so I was excused.  Mr. Six was summoned once, and he made it as far as the courthouse (it was county; federal trials are held in Baltimore City), but he was dismissed and just came home.

I could never sit on a jury now.  Hell, I can't sit too long in the living room without being in tremendous pain.  My POTS is so out of control that I got dizzy & greyed-out vision when I stopped to tie my shoe on a Saturday evening walk.  As soon as I stand up, my heart rate skyrockets (110+) and my BP falls (the lowest I caught was 67/45).  I can sit for about 2 hours with changing positions in a chair, but I can only stand for about 10-15 minutes at best.  I would be a jack-in-a-jury-box😜.

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On 4/10/2024 at 12:30 PM, Jeeves said:

@SunnyBeBe - I've owned three Subaru Outbacks (the model that's bigger than the Crosstrek) and liked them all. They could travel in snowy conditions that other cars couldn't. If you buy a Subaru and tend to keep your cars a long time, I recommend you get their extended warranty. Unless things have changed recently, their new car warranty is shorter than many other manufacturers. 

I also tend to buy the fancy model when buying new. My 2012 Outback had most all of the toys. But although the driver's seat had power controls, the front passenger seat didn't. I can see how that would be irritating.

I only ditched the Subaru when I got a minivan to travel and camp in. I sometimes miss the Subie's AWD. If I go back to a non-minivan vehicle I would look at other makes as well as Subaru, and I'd probably go for something with AWD.

Good luck with the car search!

Weighing in late here, but Subaru is a great brand and also a little peculiar.  They last forever.  We are still driving a 2006 Outback LL Bean edition (higher end trim), so we have power front seats.  But it's crazy to learn that the passenger front seat no longer has power. 

Also our car is too old for Bluetooth, and you can't swap out Subaru radios in the aftermarket because they link their radios to the air conditioning unit.  So we have one of those plug ins that goes into the cigarette lighter and lets us play our phone over the radio system. 

I have to say I would not buy any car now without the power seat for the driver.   I shift myself around all the time while driving to extend crampy legs or move them back.

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