Rap541 January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 Quote . I really do think that Bethenny thought she should send something and sent what she had handy, her wine. And if so, although I do find it very plausible that the wine may have been served to guests - not only have I been offered wine or alcohol at wakes/funerals/shivas, it's happened in homes where the hosts were teetotalers because some people believe extending hospitality includes providing guests with what the *guests* enjoy, we're still left with "Bethenny thought she should send something and did". If the family promptly poured all the SkinnyGirl wine out in horror, which I doubt, thats their choice but wine isn't an offensive gift, alcohol isn't an offensive gift, and the idea of providing something that can be served to grieving guests isn't offensive. To give a real life example, my father passed away recently and upon hearing the news, the neighbors down the street who didn't know us very well (they had just moved in) came over with a pack of bottled water, two 12 packs of Coke, and 2 24 packs of Budweiser. *We* don't drink Budweiser and Coke isn't a great choice for a family where I am the only non diabetic, but since we had people coming over all week to pay their respects, it got used. It was nice of them even though realistically it wasn't a very appropriate gift since my dad no longer drank due to kidney issues and my mom can't have sugary based beverages due to diabetes. The few cans of beer left over that weren't drunk by neighbors were discreetly disposed of. Bethenny did a nice thing. Considering the animosity between her and Jill, she could have sent nothing and I would defend that choice because she and Jill were no longer friends in any way and there was bad blood. But she did choose to send a gift, a gift that was appropriate and useful, and even if it hadn't been appropriate or useful, it's still a gift she was not obligated to send. *For the record, I sent the neighbors a nice thank you note for the beverage gift 14 Link to comment
Wendy January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 Damned if you do -- send a gift that you are not at all obligated to send. Damned if you don't - do not send anything because you have no idea of what the guests' preference would be and then get criticised for not sending anything to the funeral of the man who made it possible for her to be part of the RHONY. In the eyes of some, Bethenny would never do anything right. Luckily for anybody else with not a tunnel vision, a gift is a gift and you don't criticize it, you say that you. 10 Link to comment
zoeysmom January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 20 hours ago, Mrs peel said: I seem to remember the tradition to bring food when you went to the home. Not that people had things delivered separately if they didn't go to the home. Listen, the woman was in Aspen when Bobby died, she flew back very quickly in order to make it to the funeral. I'd cut her some slack on the shiva food/wine. As to whether it is a favorite of the deceased, there's an old joke about the dying man whose son asks if there is anything he can get his father before he dies. The father says "your mother's apple strudel." Son comes back, no strudel, tells the father "Mama says you can't have any." Why? Because the strudel is for "after the funeral." Bethenny went to the memorial/funeral. I like the idea that Bethenny sent something to the event. I would never expect to be anything that didn't carry the Skinnygirl label. I am sure Jill enjoyed showing others that Bethenny cared enough to send something. I do not believe she was in Aspen at the time. She was in Aspen before New Year's and a few days after. Perhaps she flew back to Aspen after the Skinnygirl Jean launch and turned around and came back? I like your joke. 2 Link to comment
WireWrap January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Wendy said: Damned if you do -- send a gift that you are not at all obligated to send. Damned if you don't - do not send anything because you have no idea of what the guests' preference would be and then get criticised for not sending anything to the funeral of the man who made it possible for her to be part of the RHONY. In the eyes of some, Bethenny would never do anything right. Luckily for anybody else with not a tunnel vision, a gift is a gift and you don't criticize it, you say that you. Nahhhh, it just means that Bethenny didn't put much thought into what she sent to Jill's home. That she sent something is nice but it was also not something she put any effort/thought behind. We are facing the same thing here, our neighbor (the husband) just passed and we are sending food because they didn't drink. Oh and instead of sending flowers to the funeral, we sent a donation to the hospice group that helped them at the end and we did the same thing when my BIL died a couple of years ago. Link to comment
film noire January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, Wendy said: send a gift that you are not at all obligated to send. I had no idea funeral obligations were seen as optional -- my understanding has always been that once you attend the funeral, you have a social obligation to participate in the other rituals as well (send flowers, or food, or a card, or make a donation to the charity named in the obit, or buy a mass, etc etc. - actually, that's true for many cultural groups even if you don't attend the funeral.) And I know (from having dated a Jewish man for a couple of years) that the Jewish community takes all of this as seriously as any Irish Catholic rasising Cane at a wake. (Maybe WASPS do it differently -- say "He was a lovely man!" to the widow and then go home, drink gin and tonic and watch golf on tv :) 1 hour ago, WireWrap said: Nahhhh, it just means that Bethenny didn't put much thought into what she sent to Jill's home. Yes - and I'm pretty sure it would not have happened if Julie were still there -- she would have had a sense of things, imo. Edited January 20, 2018 by film noire 1 Link to comment
ryebread January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, Wendy said: Damned if you do -- send a gift that you are not at all obligated to send. Damned if you don't - do not send anything because you have no idea of what the guests' preference would be and then get criticised for not sending anything to the funeral of the man who made it possible for her to be part of the RHONY. In the eyes of some, Bethenny would never do anything right. Luckily for anybody else with not a tunnel vision, a gift is a gift and you don't criticize it, you say that you. That would be me. You mad? Beth, to me, is what Kelly or Tamra or Vicki or Danielle is to others. Eh, big deal. 1 hour ago, zoeysmom said: I would never expect to be anything that didn't carry the Skinnygirl label. Right? If It hadn't been publicized what Beth had sent to the funeral, and Andy did a poll: "What did Bethenny send to Jill for shiva?" I'd wager the majority would answer, "Some type of Skinny Girl crap." It's who she is. Branding is everything. Which, good for her, it's made her a fortune but there's a time and a place. She'll be the one to put a Skinny Girl logo on the pocket of a pair of size 24 jeans and wonder why they weren't successful. Oh, wait... Her brand probably won't include size 24, though. She's saying her jeans will come in 'Plus' sizes. To her, that's probably a size 10. Edited January 20, 2018 by ryebread 6 Link to comment
BBHN January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 Quote Damned if you do -- send a gift that you are not at all obligated to send. Damned if you don't - do not send anything because you have no idea of what the guests' preference would be and then get criticised for not sending anything to the funeral of the man who made it possible for her to be part of the RHONY. In the eyes of some, Bethenny would never do anything right. Luckily for anybody else with not a tunnel vision, a gift is a gift and you don't criticize it, you say that you. Amen. She sent Jill wine instead of food, which probably isn't even a sin in the Torah. I'm sure Jill and family appreciated the gesture. Quote I had no idea funeral obligations were seen as optional -- my understanding has always been that once you attend the funeral, you have a social obligation to participate in the other rituals as well -- send flowers, or food, or a card, or make a donation to the charity named in the obit, or buy a mass, etc etc. I had no idea people at funerals kept scorecards of who was doing what. I'd assume most people would just be grateful that their friends and loved showed their appreciation for the deceased in any way they could, even if they don't check everything off of the list. Then again, what do I know, in my culture, for Christian wakes in the Middle East, the family of the deceased provides all the food and drink for the three day wake, and for the the 40 day memorial service as well. 10 Link to comment
film noire January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 (edited) 36 minutes ago, ryebread said: Right? If It hadn't been publicized what Beth had sent to the funeral, and Andy did a poll: "What did Bethenny send to Jill for shiva?" I'd wager the majority would answer, "Some type of Skinny Girl crap." It's who she is. Branding is everything. I can't stand her, ryebread, but I wouldn't guess she'd do this -- I would assume her sense of things would tell her it was crass and tacky and out of place, and not good for the brand. That's what seems weird to me. (It's like that photo of her and Jill she posted on her insta. She got called a publicity whore, ghoul, etc -- and she must have known that would happen -- and did it anyway. She seems to covet any kind of response now, as long as it's big and messy and explosive.) eta: Quote had no idea people at funerals kept scorecards of who was doing what. I don't think it's a scorecard mentality at all. I think people take great comfort in receiving a mass, or a donation, or food and miss it greatly when it's not extended. (And what people choose to send can also be very touching - one of my father's childhood friends sent a photo of them as kids -- one we'd never seen - tucked into the sympathy card.) Quote even if they don't check everything off of the list. Not sure what you mean by this. These are rituals based on comforting people during their grief, not a checklist. Edited January 20, 2018 by film noire 4 Link to comment
ryebread January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 4 minutes ago, BBHN said: I had no idea people at funerals kept scorecards of who was doing what. I'd assume most people would just be grateful that their friends and loved showed their appreciation for the deceased in any way they could, even if they don't check everything off of the list. But this is Jill we're talking about. Didn't she whip out a list during her last fight with Beth and start rattling off the Skinny One's crimes? If anyone is keeping a scorecard, that'd be Jill. 6 Link to comment
BBHN January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 (edited) I'm guessing she got over it. If anyone would announce to the media that they thought Bethenny's gift was a crap one, that'd be Jill. Edited January 20, 2018 by BBHN 7 Link to comment
film noire January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 9 minutes ago, ryebread said: If anyone is keeping a scorecard, that'd be Jill. LOL 2 Link to comment
BBHN January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 Quote I don't think it's a scorecard mentality at all. I think people take great comfort in receiving a mass, or a donation, or food and miss it greatly when it's not extended. If there isn't a scorecard mentality, then people definitely aren't keeping check of who did what, and how much they did, they are probably just grateful that people did anything, regardless of whether others did more or not. Quote These are rituals based on comforting people during their grief, not a checklist. True, but people aren't required to make sure they fulfill every ritual. Nor should they be. Whatever people decided to do is appreciated. 7 Link to comment
Mindthinkr January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 We should be celebrating people while they are alive. I hope Bethenny did something nice for Bobby while he could still appreciate it, not just something after he died. 2 Link to comment
Jel January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 In my experience, many people send stuff and some don't. But honestly, I think "who sent what" is probably the very last thing on the grieving family's mind. 10 Link to comment
gundysgirl January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 14 hours ago, WireWrap said: SG wine has alcohol in it. The family members we have seen on the show, Jill's family, never drank alcohol that I can recall and Bethenny sent the wine to Jill's house, not to some other family members house that does/might drink. Honestly, I think Bethenny felt she should send something and sent what she had lying around her house/office without any thought as to who she was sending it to. SG wine has alcohol in it? I had no idea, LOL. Clearly others know more about Jill and the drinking habits of her family. I have no clue if her mother, sister, daughter or others consume alcohol. I don’t remember this ever coming up outside of Jill’s choice, but it must have if so much is known about it. Honestly I find it surprising that none of her family drinks, but anything is possible. I wish I could say I have watched more closely what others were drinking during events in the Zarin home. My guess is that Jill served wine and booze to her quests during parties and dinners. She never came across as super judgemental about the drinking habits of others. Certainly she was good friends with legendary boozehounds like Ramona and Luann. I am sure she was more than fine with someone sending some wine around for the guests in her home that do like some booze. 6 Link to comment
film noire January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 (edited) 16 minutes ago, BBHN said: True, but people aren't required to make sure they fulfill every ritual. Of course -- that's why I said "or" ("or food, or a card, or make a donation to the charity named in the obit, or buy a mass", etc). Edited January 20, 2018 by film noire 2 Link to comment
Otherkate January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 1 hour ago, film noire said: I had no idea funeral obligations were seen as optional -- my understanding has always been that once you attend the funeral, you have a social obligation to participate in the other rituals as well (send flowers, or food, or a card, or make a donation to the charity named in the obit, or buy a mass, etc etc. - actually, that's true for many cultural groups even if you don't attend the funeral.) And I know (from having dated a Jewish man for a couple of years) that the Jewish community takes all of this as seriously as any Irish Catholic rasising Cane at a wake. (Maybe WASPS do it differently -- say "He was a lovely man!" to the widow and then go home, drink gin and tonic and watch golf on tv :) Yes - and I'm pretty sure it would not have happened if Julie were still there -- she would have had a sense of things, imo. Raised hardcore Catholic here and I have absolutely never been taught that anyone attending the service should send food, flowers, etc. They come to the service to pay their respects to the dead and to their family and that alone is appreciated (in my family.) Close friends/family send things and people who have local businesses send larger quantity of things such as food and beverages because they are in a position to do so. I feel like my Italian and Irish family can be pretty intense, but I've literally never heard anyone grouse over someone not sending something after they've attended a funeral. They care if you showed up or not and showing up is really all that's expected. Honestly, we've always had way too much food and are begging people to take it home with them. Spending all these years living in NYC, I've been to plenty of Jewish services and there have absolutely been some where I haven't brought anything other than myself and my respects. Little did I know! I also just can't imagine judging what someone sends. It seems very gross to me, particularly in the midst of losing someone. 12 Link to comment
BBHN January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 (edited) Quote Of course -- that's why I said "or" ("or food, or a card, or make a donation to the charity named in the obit, or buy a mass"). Which is what Bethenny did, showing up and sending wine. Good for her. Edited January 20, 2018 by BBHN 8 Link to comment
smores January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 I, personally, was raised that you take something, period. Or you send something. In my family, the expectation was that that would be what you did (not that the family expected people to do it for us, but that this was how WE behave). So, we do. Just like I was raised that if I'm invited to a shower, I send a gift whether I attend or not. It's just a "family rule" that my parents had, and one that I follow. I certainly don't expect people to show up with food in hand, or to send food when a person dies, I don't care either way, but, I know that many people have the same type of background that I do. If I had a store or I had some sort of product, say I owned a Hickory Farms, then yes, that would absolutely be what I sent. I'd put together the most useful spread I could, and ship it off, or show up with it in hand. 5 Link to comment
film noire January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 (edited) 48 minutes ago, Otherkate said: Raised hardcore Catholic here and I have absolutely never been taught that anyone attending the service should send food, flowers, etc. That amazes me (genuinely - not being snotty or doubting your word) b/c I've never met a Catholic who didn't feel obligated to at least send a sympathy card, or flowers, or food, or a mass card, or make a donation, etc. (I'd say it was a Canadian versus an American thing, but my Irish Catholic in-laws in the midwest had pretty well the same funeral experience I had.) Quote I also just can't imagine judging what someone sends. It seems very gross to me, particularly in the midst of losing someone. I dunno - maybe it's gross, but maybe it's just feelings running high -- you've lost someone you love, somebody does something thoughtless, and it hurts. (We were lucky - the vast majority of people were kind and thoughtful -- that said, one guy sent a sympathy card that asked my older sister out on a date (true story) to help her "grieve". Unbelievable.) Edited January 20, 2018 by film noire Link to comment
KungFuBunny January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 RHONY Luann is still hiding in Noel's dorm room 4 Link to comment
film noire January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 (edited) 5 minutes ago, KungFuBunny said: Luann is still hiding in Noel's dorm room I loved @zoeysmom's comment about this on Luann's thread: "Do you suppose they sent this to Luann with a caption "thinking of You"?" Edited January 20, 2018 by film noire 2 Link to comment
KungFuBunny January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 wilddove captioned this with Drunkie, Dummie, Skinny, Lippie All the way to the right is Amanda Bynes - this was before she went coo coo, next to her is Kara D from American Idol 3 Link to comment
Rap541 January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 Quote Raised hardcore Catholic here and I have absolutely never been taught that anyone attending the service should send food, flowers, etc. Raised Protestant, and agreed. It is usually customary, especially if you stop by to check in on the family to bring food, flowers, etc but there is no etiquette rule that people who attend the service are socially obligated to gift the grieving family as part of their attendance. It's understood to be a nice and kind thing to do. It's just getting silly all the reasons being found to make sure Bethenny is found to be wrong. She and Jill weren't friends, they are actually not on good terms. It would not have shocked or offended me if Bethenny did nothing but express condolences from the side. But she did attend the service. If that obligated her because she's a casual Jew and it's really *required* that those attending the service provide a gift of food or drink to the family, then she did.... And yet fault is still being found because it should have been a shiva basket, it shouldn't have been her own brand of wine, every member of the family are strict teetotalers, etc (that one isn't proven, and I seem to recall at least one scene of Bobby and Simon drinking scotch in season one) If she didn't attend, she'd be vilified for holding onto the grudge. If she didn't send a gift, she'd be vilified because attending the service means she's socially obligated, and she did send a gift that is indeed socially appropriate (ie not a tray of bacon wrapped scallops). *One thing I do take away from the Jewish family events I have attended is that if the goyim makes an error about kosher stuff, it's usually forgiven as a matter of courtesy. I went to a Thanksgiving event held by a jewish friend's family and brought wine (that they loved and served up immediately, a cheese plate (served up immediately) and the afore mentioned bacon wrapped scallops - for which I recieved thanks and laughs as it was explained how not ok that was for the more strictly adhering folks. The bacon wrapped scallops were consumed later by the Reformed sorts once grandma and grandpa left ;) 12 Link to comment
Jel January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 I'm going to invite you to my next party, Rap541; you bring good stuff! 10 Link to comment
film noire January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 (edited) Quote If she didn't attend, she'd be vilified for holding onto the grudge. I think she had every right to not attend. (I agree people might/would have attacked her, but she had the right to not go and not be hounded for that decision.) Edited January 20, 2018 by film noire 2 Link to comment
QuinnM January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 Quote Raised hardcore Catholic here and I have absolutely never been taught that anyone attending the service should send food, flowers, etc. They come to the service to pay their respects to the dead and to their family and that alone is appreciated (in my family.) Close friends/family send things and people who have local businesses send larger quantity of things such as food and beverages because they are in a position to do so. I feel like my Italian and Irish family can be pretty intense, but I've literally never heard anyone grouse over someone not sending something after they've attended a funera Nice Catholic girl here too. But luckily enough, lots of Jewish in laws. This is about sitting Shiva for 7 days with all the mirrors in the home covered with black cloth. Friends send food to a home sitting Shiva. They are expected to feed the family and all guests coming to visit. You’ll hear this question in movies and such. Are they sitting Shiva? So the actual funeral/memorial has nothing to do with the gift or a card. What you send to a home sitting Shiva is food and drink. You send it if you are in Paris, India or down the block. So a card to a home sitting Shiva is nice but that is not the Jewish custom. 1 Link to comment
WireWrap January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 Here is a stupid question.....How do we know that Bethenny sent SG wine to Jill after Bobby passed? Did Bethenny or Jill post it on their SM, tell a reporter or are we speculating she sent it? 4 Link to comment
gundysgirl January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 1 minute ago, WireWrap said: Here is a stupid question.....How do we know that Bethenny sent SG wine to Jill after Bobby passed? Did Bethenny or Jill post it on their SM, tell a reporter or are we speculating she sent it? That’s a really good question. 3 Link to comment
Rap541 January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 Well, there's this article origanally posted by film_noire: http://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/jill-zarin-shares-which-housewives-have-supported-her-after-bobby-zarins-death Where Jill was asked how she was being supported and it comes up that Ramona has been calling and Bethenny sent a case of Skinnygirl wine and Andy Cohen sent a platter of snacks, and that housewives from other shows sent condolences. I know the Bethenny sent a case of wine and Andy sent a platter of snacks isn't in quotes but honestly, there's really not much reason to make up a story on this. 4 Link to comment
Jel January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 Do you have the phone number of the reporter, so I can call and check? Any word yet on if the wine was poisoned? ;) 4 Link to comment
WireWrap January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 25 minutes ago, Rap541 said: Well, there's this article origanally posted by film_noire: http://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/jill-zarin-shares-which-housewives-have-supported-her-after-bobby-zarins-death Where Jill was asked how she was being supported and it comes up that Ramona has been calling and Bethenny sent a case of Skinnygirl wine and Andy Cohen sent a platter of snacks, and that housewives from other shows sent condolences. I know the Bethenny sent a case of wine and Andy sent a platter of snacks isn't in quotes but honestly, there's really not much reason to make up a story on this. Thanks, that's what I get for skimming the article! LOL 2 Link to comment
Otherkate January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 2 hours ago, film noire said: That amazes me (genuinely - not being snotty or doubting your word) b/c I've never met a Catholic who didn't feel obligated to at least send a sympathy card, or flowers, or food, or a mass card, or make a donation, etc. (I'd say it was a Canadian versus an American thing, but my Irish Catholic in-laws in the midwest had pretty well the same funeral experience I had.) I dunno - maybe it's gross, but maybe it's just feelings running high -- you've lost someone you love, somebody does something thoughtless, and it hurts. (We were lucky - the vast majority of people were kind and thoughtful -- that said, one guy sent a sympathy card that asked my older sister out on a date (true story) to help her "grieve". Unbelievable.) Ah, card, of course! Flowers - depending on how close we were to the family, but card ALWAYS. I thought you were specifically talking about food or drink for the guests to partake in after the service. 4 Link to comment
film noire January 20, 2018 Share January 20, 2018 (edited) 21 hours ago, Otherkate said: Ah, card, of course! Flowers - depending on how close we were to the family, but card ALWAYS. Thank god!! My whole (recovering Catholic :) world almost came to a halt! ("Father forgive me, it's been over three decades since my last confession -- btw, Padre, have you seen "The Keepers?") Quote I thought you were specifically talking about food or drink for the guests to partake in after the service. ETA: I was -- but for Jews sitting shiva (b/c sending food -- a shiva basket or platter - is what they do). Catholics came into it when people disagreed (upthread) about whether there's a moral/social obligation to observe funeral rituals if you attend the funeral. (I think you have the right to not participate in any ceremony -- funeral or otherwise - but if you *do* participate, you should observe the rituals.) I think Frankel initially behaved well by choosing to go, but between arriving with camera crews, and sending Skinnygirl product and posting a photo of her and Jill at the funeral on instagram-- to me, all that turned her behavior into something that feels more self-promoting than anything honoring Bobby Zarin. Edited January 21, 2018 by film noire 1 Link to comment
Celia Rubenstein January 21, 2018 Share January 21, 2018 (edited) 20 hours ago, film noire said: I would assume her sense of things would tell her it was crass and tacky and out of place, and not good for her brand ... It's like that photo of her and Jill she posted on her insta. She got called a publicity whore, ghoul, etc -- and she must have known that would happen -- and did it anyway. She seems to covet any kind of response now, as long as it's big and messy and explosive.) Nahhh, I think Bethenny just does what she feels like doing and she gives zero fucks about what a small group of dedicated trolls who stalk her social media think. You can't live your life in the public eye the way she does worrying about how a bunch of faceless weirdos who are obsessed with following your every move just so they can attack you are gonna respond. That being said, in all honesty I seriously doubt it even occurred to Bethenny that she would be criticized for sending Jill Skinnygirl wine. I don't think it is as obviously crass as has been suggested, especially in light of her relationship with Jill. By that I mean it was damn nice of her to send anything. Showing up to the service was a very nice thing to do. Who expects to be criticized for doing something nice? Although maybe after her experience with hurricane relief, she should, lol. Edited January 21, 2018 by Celia Rubenstein 10 Link to comment
SCS January 21, 2018 Share January 21, 2018 5 hours ago, Rap541 said: (that one isn't proven, and I seem to recall at least one scene of Bobby and Simon drinking scotch in season one) I believe you are correct, Rap541. It was during the S1 dinner featuring Alex and Simon and Jill and Bobby, at which private schools were discussed. Pretty sure Bobby had a beverage that didn't appear soft but rather spirited. Quote bacon wrapped scallops 3 Link to comment
Rap541 January 21, 2018 Share January 21, 2018 Did people not know about bacon wrapped scallops? It's been my family's go-to fancy decadent appetizer for years! And so easy to make - wrap bacon around a scallop, stick a tooth pick thru and bake. Easy peasy. Not very kosher tho :( 5 Link to comment
smores January 21, 2018 Share January 21, 2018 Even easier, get the frozen ones from trader joe's. LOL! I'm lazy. 1 Link to comment
Mrs peel January 21, 2018 Share January 21, 2018 8 hours ago, Otherkate said: Raised hardcore Catholic here and I have absolutely never been taught that anyone attending the service should send food, flowers, etc. They come to the service to pay their respects to the dead and to their family and that alone is appreciated (in my family.) Close friends/family send things and people who have local businesses send larger quantity of things such as food and beverages because they are in a position to do so. I feel like my Italian and Irish family can be pretty intense, but I've literally never heard anyone grouse over someone not sending something after they've attended a funeral. They care if you showed up or not and showing up is really all that's expected. Honestly, we've always had way too much food and are begging people to take it home with them. Spending all these years living in NYC, I've been to plenty of Jewish services and there have absolutely been some where I haven't brought anything other than myself and my respects. Little did I know! I also just can't imagine judging what someone sends. It seems very gross to me, particularly in the midst of losing someone. Another Irish-Italian NYC born Catholic here. This is my memory too, show up at the wake and talk about the deceased, or re-connect with family you haven’t seen recently. If close family, go out to dinner. Some send Mass cards, but no one keeps track. 10 hours ago, zoeysmom said: Bethenny went to the memorial/funeral. I like the idea that Bethenny sent something to the event. I would never expect to be anything that didn't carry the Skinnygirl label. I am sure Jill enjoyed showing others that Bethenny cared enough to send something. I do not believe she was in Aspen at the time. She was in Aspen before New Year's and a few days after. Perhaps she flew back to Aspen after the Skinnygirl Jean launch and turned around and came back? I like your joke. Hmmm, I thought the article said she chartered a plane to get back in time for the funeral. the joke isn’t mine (this was a short version), but from a great 1960’s album “The Yiddish are Coming.” Done by the same comedy team that did an album of the Kennedy family when JFK was president. Why my Catholic parents had the former but not the latter is a mystery. 1 Link to comment
jaync January 21, 2018 Share January 21, 2018 "Skinnygirl" apparel? Yeah, that's not tone-deaf at all. Who's her backer, Ana and Mia, Ltd.? Quote That’s so 90’s. Like Beth's dated expressions. Link to comment
Lisin January 21, 2018 Author Share January 21, 2018 You are all free to agree to disagree as always; however, please stay on the topic of the Housewife/show/situation which is the subject of the thread. Neither the fans of said Housewife/show/situation nor your fellow posters are up for discussion. Link to comment
film noire January 21, 2018 Share January 21, 2018 (edited) 4 hours ago, jaync said: "Skinnygirl" apparel? Yeah, that's not tone-deaf at all. Who's her backer, Ana and Mia, Ltd.? All orders handled by Thinspo Manufacturing. Edited January 21, 2018 by film noire Link to comment
diadochokinesis January 22, 2018 Share January 22, 2018 On 1/21/2018 at 0:35 AM, Otherkate said: Raised hardcore Catholic here and I have absolutely never been taught that anyone attending the service should send food, flowers, etc. They come to the service to pay their respects to the dead and to their family and that alone is appreciated (in my family.) Close friends/family send things and people who have local businesses send larger quantity of things such as food and beverages because they are in a position to do so. I feel like my Italian and Irish family can be pretty intense, but I've literally never heard anyone grouse over someone not sending something after they've attended a funeral. They care if you showed up or not and showing up is really all that's expected. Honestly, we've always had way too much food and are begging people to take it home with them. Spending all these years living in NYC, I've been to plenty of Jewish services and there have absolutely been some where I haven't brought anything other than myself and my respects. Little did I know! I also just can't imagine judging what someone sends. It seems very gross to me, particularly in the midst of losing someone. Ok, I was raised in the South and also United Methodist (we are the People of the Potluck and Casseroles) so we are hardcore into food. That said, I've never brought a dish to someone's funeral. I've sent flowers, if I was close but never brought food. When my grandma died, 2-3 people brought food but that was it. I've seen more flowers than food. Food was typically what close friends brought. Someone that was just coming to pay respects but was more tangentially connected wouldn't do food. I think people are also beginning to realize that you start drowning in food after awhile and a lot of it goes to waste. Link to comment
WireWrap January 22, 2018 Share January 22, 2018 1 hour ago, diadochokinesis said: Ok, I was raised in the South and also United Methodist (we are the People of the Potluck and Casseroles) so we are hardcore into food. That said, I've never brought a dish to someone's funeral. I've sent flowers, if I was close but never brought food. When my grandma died, 2-3 people brought food but that was it. I've seen more flowers than food. Food was typically what close friends brought. Someone that was just coming to pay respects but was more tangentially connected wouldn't do food. I think people are also beginning to realize that you start drowning in food after awhile and a lot of it goes to waste. I was raised to do both, especially if the deceased is someone close. We send flowers to the funeral home, make a donation to the families choice in the deceased name or a card/mass card to the family and if we are close then we send food to the house before the funeral (to help feed the family/friends visiting the family). (Especially if the family can't afford to have a lunch for those that attend the burial) Link to comment
QuinnM January 22, 2018 Share January 22, 2018 It’s been a while but today we finally got a new apartment update. She said she is moving in a couple of weeks. It didn’t look that much bigger when it was stripped to the studs. But it’s huge. Huge family room, mammoth laundry room, gigantic everything. And the really good use of the windows. Full of light. I for one can’t wait. I love real estate porn. 1 Link to comment
HunterHunted January 22, 2018 Share January 22, 2018 40 minutes ago, QuinnM said: It’s been a while but today we finally got a new apartment update. She said she is moving in a couple of weeks. It didn’t look that much bigger when it was stripped to the studs. But it’s huge. Huge family room, mammoth laundry room, gigantic everything. And the really good use of the windows. Full of light. I for one can’t wait. I love real estate porn. http://www.traditionalhome.com/category/beautiful-homes/and-after-bethenny-frankels-remodeled-tribeca-loft 1 Link to comment
QuinnM January 22, 2018 Share January 22, 2018 Quote http://www.traditionalhome.com/category/beautiful-homes/and-after-bethenny-frankels-remodeled-tribeca-loft That’s the apartment that Hoppy squatted in until the judge tossed him out. She is gutting and renovating a new one after selling that one. 1 Link to comment
jaync January 22, 2018 Share January 22, 2018 Quote All orders handled by Thinspo Manufacturing. Hee. Are the garments one size fits all? There doesn't seem to be much differentiation between "girls'" and "women's" in Skinnyville. 2 Link to comment
Sew Sumi January 23, 2018 Share January 23, 2018 5 hours ago, HunterHunted said: http://www.traditionalhome.com/category/beautiful-homes/and-after-bethenny-frankels-remodeled-tribeca-loft Awwwww, Cookie. ? 1 Link to comment
film noire January 23, 2018 Share January 23, 2018 2 hours ago, jaync said: Hee. Are the garments one size fits all? They are -- as long as you follow the Skinnygirl Diet! ( Tip # 4: "Taste Everything, Eat Nothing." No danger in THAT approach going wrong, no siree!) Link to comment
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