S01.E08: The Spy Who Came in from the Cold

[AnimeMania]

(Season Finale)

When the pieces click into place, Charles faces the difficult task of revealing his true purpose at Pacific View. Emily helps him unpack the past.

Premiere Date: November 21, 2024   Netflix

[SoMuchTV]

Ooh! Surprise guest star (assuming you haven’t checked IMDb).  Blink and you’ll miss it. 

[Sailorgirl26]

On 11/21/2024 at 6:32 PM, SoMuchTV said:

Ooh! Surprise guest star (assuming you haven’t checked IMDb).  Blink and you’ll miss it. 

Was it definitely her? I thought it was an Easter egg--I was just coming here to ask if anyone else caught it. 

Just the extra rose of icing on a beautiful cake. 

Edit to add: I think you're talking about not-a-girl but there was an Eleanor Shelstrop shout out in the classroom, which is what I'm referencing. They show the back of a student standing up and she's wearing a white sweater that has rainbow stripes around the collar and the same haircut and color as Eleanor. It's a very intentional shot.

This was a wonderful, bittersweet, touching, and heartwarming show.

My mom developed early onset Alzheimer's when she was 52 so this show was a gut wrencher for me at times. Someone in that writers' room definitely has a relative with Alzheimer's or they put the time and effort into observing and really understanding the onset of the disease. 

The two scenes that really got me were when Charles was explaining to his daughter that he'd broken his promise to Victoria and was putting her into memory care. Having to make that decision for my mom really broke my dad. 

The second was the second to last scene when the woman with Alzheimer's was gently petting the stuffed dog Charles had given her. My mom had a stuffed seal that she was attached to in that way. I held onto that seal for a really long time. 😢💜🥰

Edited November 23 by Sailorgirl26

[abbyzenn]

Can't praise this show enough.  I think the way old age as well as Alzheimer's was covered is what really moved me.  It was also wonderful seeing so many familiar faces.

Sailorgirl you're right that one of the writers has had close contact with an Alzheimer's  - a truly heartbreaking disease.    My mom died in 2020 of the disease after living with it for about 10 years.   We were lucky that we were able to keep her home because my brother and his family moved in with parents.  The last few years someone had to be with her 24/7 just because of the stupid things she would do (like use a laundry basket full of clothes as a toilet).  It also gave my Dad a break because it's hard taking care of someone 24/7.  He probably aged 10 years in 2.

I do hope there's a second season.  Curious as to what "job" it could be next for next for Charles.

 

[SoMuchTV]

9 hours ago, Sailorgirl26 said:

Edit to add: I think you're talking about not-a-girl but there was an Eleanor Shelstrop shout out in the classroom, which is what I'm referencing. They show the back of a student standing up and she's wearing a white sweater that has rainbow stripes around the collar and the same haircut and color as Eleanor. It's a very intentional shot.

I was just referring to the former.  I didn't catch the latter, but I imagine I'll be rewatching this with family before long so I'll try to spot her.

3 hours ago, abbyzenn said:

I do hope there's a second season.  Curious as to what "job" it could be next for next for Charles.

I was also thinking of that.  Now that there are several more people who are in on Charles's "occupation" it could expand the possibilities...

[iMonrey]

This got sad. I mean, it was still a wonderful show, but somewhere in the middle around the time Florence died it took a sad turn. I guess I just wasn't expecting it. 

I'm glad most of the residents came around to forgiving Charles. 

On 11/22/2024 at 11:48 PM, Sailorgirl26 said:

The two scenes that really got me were when Charles was explaining to his daughter that he'd broken his promise to Victoria and was putting her into memory care.

Although he didn't end up breaking his promise since she never ended up leaving her house. But I get where he feels that way since it was his intention. 

Also: Emily's kids were awful!

Edited November 24 by iMonrey

[lookeyloo]

the Mr. and I both enjoyed this show.  We also think that someone who wrote it/developed it, etc. had Alzheimers in the family.  It was produced or developed by Michael Schur who is Regis Philbin son in law.  So maybe...  

Mr's mother died of a dementia, very similar, and it made us both cry at times, but, worth watching.

[cardigirl]

I loved this. Just so well done, and filmed. I hope there is another season because I want to learn more about many of the characters. 

[Marley]

I loved this show.

The only thing I didn’t like were the annoying grandsons. I don’t need to see more of them they add nothing.

[chaifan]

This was just a lovely show.  Just the right balance of comedy, absurdity, and heartfelt emotion.  I had a feeling that Gladys was our thief, but I couldn't figure out why she gave Charles Elliot's watch.  I loved the evolution of Emily and Charles' relationship, and them going through his wife's belongings.  My one little nit to pick is that I felt Calbert's response to Charles was a little too extreme, I wish they had made that just a bit more nuanced.

I agree, they handled the alzheimer's aspect of this incredibly well.  And I was really touched by Elliot's conversation with Charles an episode or two ago when he talked about how many residents had died in the time he'd been there.  My mom went into a combined independent/assisted living several years ago, and after a few years she was commenting on how people "went there to die", so why bother making friends.  (They also rented apartments short term for hospice care, so that didn't help things any.)

I like the set up for a second season.  I'm intrigued by what the job could be that Charles was the only option.  I just hate that we will likely be waiting a year for it.  

I haven't watched a lot of Michael Schur's shows, but was a huge fan of The Good Place.  Do his other shows also reunite cast members from prior shows like this one?  It was great seeing D'Arcy, even in just a small role.  I did not see "Eleanor" in the classroom, but I wasn't paying too close attention to that scene.   It would have been a little funny if Charles had passed Professor Chidi in the hall, though...  

[chaifan]

Just because I'm a bit of a geek, I was trying to figure out what this investigation would have cost Helen's son.  I'm figuring a minimum of $15,000 per month for the senior residence.  Charles' pay had to be at least $10,000.  Probably something similar for Julie's fees.  So, $35,000 for a month's investigation.  If Helen's son (fabulously played by Mark Evan Jackson) had been a more emotional, nostalgic type of person, it would have made more sense.  But he came off as a guy who would have been just as happy with the insurance money, with no real attachment to the necklace itself. 

[SoMuchTV]

3 hours ago, chaifan said:

Just because I'm a bit of a geek, I was trying to figure out what this investigation would have cost Helen's son.  I'm figuring a minimum of $15,000 per month for the senior residence.  Charles' pay had to be at least $10,000.  Probably something similar for Julie's fees.  So, $35,000 for a month's investigation.  If Helen's son (fabulously played by Mark Evan Jackson) had been a more emotional, nostalgic type of person, it would have made more sense.  But he came off as a guy who would have been just as happy with the insurance money, with no real attachment to the necklace itself. 

I was wondering the same thing. I managed to deal with it by hand-waving that he's extremely well off, and he's an "it's the principle of the thing" kind of guy.

[iMonrey]

On 11/27/2024 at 11:34 AM, chaifan said:

Just because I'm a bit of a geek, I was trying to figure out what this investigation would have cost Helen's son.  I'm figuring a minimum of $15,000 per month for the senior residence.  Charles' pay had to be at least $10,000.  Probably something similar for Julie's fees.  So, $35,000 for a month's investigation.  If Helen's son (fabulously played by Mark Evan Jackson) had been a more emotional, nostalgic type of person, it would have made more sense.  But he came off as a guy who would have been just as happy with the insurance money, with no real attachment to the necklace itself. 

All very true except that he seems like a very bitter, unhappy person who definitely wanted to see someone pay for the crime. He was very disappointed nobody was arrested.

[shrewd.buddha]

Charming. Amusing. Occasionally poignant. 
No regrets about watching it .. but I did keep hoping for more zing with regards to the comedy.  
The snark between Julie and Didi was enjoyable but most of the rest seemed tame compared to the likes of The Golden Girls.

We kept getting distracted by the blasé attitude with regards to real world realities of cost and the world of assisted living:
- You can just show up and get into Assisted Living in a day?
- These people would have to be in the top 10% to live in such a place in downtown SF.
 

Edited December 1 by shrewd.buddha

[30 Helens]

It was not my intent to watch this entire show in two evenings, but once I started I didn’t want to stop. This was a really beautiful meditation on life, loss, and friendship. It did not have the volume of laughs that I would expect from Mike Schur, but it definitely had the heart and humanity I would expect from Mike Schur. Honestly, the man cannot make a bad show. 

Like others in this thread, I was very moved by the presentation of Alzheimer’s. It was heart wrenching without ever becoming maudlin, and somehow managed to hit all the key points without seeming cliche. I sadly identified with Charles’ desperate (and wrongheaded) attempts to give Gladys a link to her past, and her comment about missing her old personality summed up many conversations I had with my late mother in one melancholy nutshell. Really beautifully done.

I’m looking forward to a second season, which I assume will happen based on the final scene. I’m just sad I’ll have to wait so long for it. In the meantime, I’ll content myself with a rewatch of The Good Place (also to get that Danson fix!), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (hello, Rosa!) and The Office. (I don’t care what anyone says, Mose will always be my favorite character.) I leave out Parks and Rec only because I recently saw it.

By the way, regarding that “Eleanor” glimpse in the final episode, it seems that was not just a reference, but an actual Kristen Bell cameo! See this article for details: https://tvline.com/news/kristen-bell-a-man-on-the-inside-episode-8-cameo-explained-1235383085/

[Avaleigh]

16 hours ago, shrewd.buddha said:

We kept getting distracted by the blasé attitude with regards to real world realities of cost and the world of assisted living:
- You can just show up and get into Assisted Living in a day?
- These people would have to be in the top 10% to live in such a place in downtown SF.

I enjoyed the show a lot, but there were several things I had to handwave including this.

I worked at a high end retirement community that was attached to an assisted living facility back when we were still living on Long Island, and there a few things about this that seemed off to me. 

For one thing, the amount that the residents were drinking did not match what I saw at the place where I worked. True, there was a daily happy hour complete with appetizers, and they had a wine down Wednesday every week, themed happy hours, and stuff like that, but very few residents were drinking hard alcohol and the ones who did have a cocktail on occasion only had one. Most residents opted for wine, champagne, or mocktails. These people were drinking like twenty somethings in certain scenes. Our residents ranged from lated 70s to late 90s, so the older the resident the less likely they were to drink. 

Another thing that was way off were the EMTs rolling a stretcher past the dining room in full view of the residents. The only way you'd see a stretcher in the main dining room would be if somebody, heaven forbid, had a heart attack or something in the actual dining room. Otherwise there were multiple side entrances that EMTs would go through, whichever was closest to the room of the resident who was having the emergency. They'd never disturb the other residents with a scene like that.

Also, maybe this was just our place, but memorials like Florence's were not permitted to take place on the property. They had to be held elsewhere. It was explained to me it's like how the In Memoriam segment for an awards show asks audience members to hold all of the applause until the end of the segment because some people got more applause than others. This place was basically like a high school, and some residents were more popular than others. They wouldn't want to risk some people's memorials not being attended, being sparsely attended, people choosing not to speak, etc. They also wouldn't want the residents to feel pressured to attend if they didn't want to. 

Another thing that was weird was when the chef was out in the dining room in one episode and one of the residents was giving him her order for dinner. Places like the Pacific would have dining rooms that are run like restaurants complete with servers. For dinner, they generally have a starter where they can choose a soup or salad, and then there are three entrees they have to choose from and dessert if they wish.

The residents have a monthly food allowance that covers all their meals and the only way they'd go over their budget would be if they were having numerous outside guests or were ordering stuff like multiple cocktails as depicted here. It cost a lot of money to live at this place so presumably the residents were wealthy. Even so, most of them were still conscious about not going over their monthly budget. The idea that the residents can order whatever they want on any given day did not strike me as realistic based on my experience. 

I suppose wearing a tie and jacket all the time was a character trait specifically for Charles, but he would have been the only resident wearing a tie on a regular basis. Maybe you'd see some sports jackets at dinner, but only a handful of residents would bother. Most of them seemed to dress for warmth and comfort.

What was realistic was the way they handled the Alzheimers. Also, the high school like environment and the women significantly outnumbering the men. New men got lots of attention when they became residents, so all of that rang true to me. A Charles type would have had to fight them off. Also, accurate was the way rumors spread like wildfire. The residents seemed to know everything about one another even if they didn't socialize. 

 

[shapeshifter]

There are many triggering disconnects for me regarding this fictional assisted living center, including some of those discussed upthread.

One unrealistic depiction that hasn't yet been discussed is there are many people in such facilities whose brains are affected to cause Parkinsonian or other mobility symptoms rather than dementia, and who might "only" have the mild cognitive loss demonstrated in the conversation between Charles and Calbert about those pesky nouns.

This show speaks to those who have had close encounters with those affected by dementia, but it pretty much ignores that the same facility would house residents who might enter using a cane, graduate to a walker, and eventually be bedridden and unable to move, with hands frozen and speech not able to be controlled.

I don't recall the subject of assisted dying coming up either. Maybe a throwaway line, but not in depth, I don't think.

This show was good — even excellent at times — but maybe Charles' next assignment will be outside of that facility, because I don't see how they can continue at Pacific View — or even another such facility — without it going either too dark or too unrealistic.
Calbert or Virginia or even Elliot might accompany Charles for part of his mission. 

They left it open-ended, so it could go literally anywhere.

[questionfear]

27 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

There are many triggering disconnects for me regarding this fictional assisted living center, including some of those discussed upthread.

One unrealistic depiction that hasn't yet been discussed is there are many people in such facilities whose brains are affected to cause Parkinsonian or other mobility symptoms rather than dementia, and who might "only" have the mild cognitive loss demonstrated in the conversation between Charles and Calbert about those pesky nouns.

This show speaks to those who have had close encounters with those affected by dementia, but it pretty much ignores that the same facility would house residents who might enter using a cane, graduate to a walker, and eventually be bedridden and unable to move, with hands frozen and speech not able to be controlled.

I don't recall the subject of assisted dying coming up either. Maybe a throwaway line, but not in depth, I don't think.

This show was good — even excellent at times — but maybe Charles' next assignment will be outside of that facility, because I don't see how they can continue at Pacific View — or even another such facility — without it going either too dark or too unrealistic.
Calbert or Virginia or even Elliot might accompany Charles for part of his mission. 

They left it open-ended, so it could go literally anywhere.

I could definitely see the next assignment being something where either he needs the expertise of one of them OR he realizes that as older folks they're basically invisible, so they all get roped into playing spy or investigating because they can slip in and out of places without anyone remembering them well.

[shapeshifter]

7 minutes ago, questionfear said:

I could definitely see the next assignment being something where either he needs the expertise of one of them OR he realizes that as older folks they're basically invisible, so they all get roped into playing spy or investigating because they can slip in and out of places without anyone remembering them well.

Virginia and Charles could pose as an elderly couple as part of an investigation into an investment scam. Elliot gets suspicious, tails them, hijinks ensue.

[30 Helens]

I agree that a lot of hand waving was needed, enough to possibly cause a mild case of carpel tunnel syndrome. But that didn’t bother me in the least. I don’t expect documentary-level accuracy in a show like this. I just want emotional truth, and for the framework to provide enough realism that I don’t feel my intelligence is being insulted. I thought it succeeded on both counts. If the setting were more like a typical retirement home, it would be an entirely different show— one that is much more grim and far less entertaining.

[chaifan]

My explanation for the relative good health of the building's residents is that this is a "continuum of care" place.  So there are people in "independent living" (needing no medical assistance at all), assisted living (some medical assistance) and memory care.  My mom was in a combined place like this, there were many people who required no assistance whatsoever.  But a lot more residents using walkers/scooters than on the show.  My mom's also had included "restaurant style" dining, meaning you could order off the menu but sometimes they'd prepare something off menu for you, too. 

With the exception of Gladys, everyone we saw would be those in independent living.  Not precisely realistic, but generally close to what I saw at my mom's place.  But, yeah, same high-school type of cliques going on.  And the women always outnumber the men in these places.  So, a little handwaving needed for the living situation, but not too much. 

I'd like season 2 to be in an entirely different place.  This location worked well as a set up for Emily to help him with the investigation and get their relationship back on track.  It would be nice to see him have a weekly backgammon game or walk in the park with Calbert, though.  I don't think we need to bring everyone else back.  Can we get Jameela Jamil and Manny Jacinto next season, though? 

 

 

[Avaleigh]

4 hours ago, 30 Helens said:

I agree that a lot of hand waving was needed, enough to possibly cause a mild case of carpel tunnel syndrome. But that didn’t bother me in the least. I don’t expect documentary-level accuracy in a show like this. I just want emotional truth, and for the framework to provide enough realism that I don’t feel my intelligence is being insulted. I thought it succeeded on both counts. If the setting were more like a typical retirement home, it would be an entirely different show— one that is much more grim and far less entertaining.

The moment when I felt my intelligence was being a little insulted was when we saw the EMTs rolling a stretcher past the dining room in order to reach Florence. It would have made more sense for one of the residents to communicate to one of the others in the dining room that they'd seen EMTs outside of Florence's room. This is a change they could have made to add more realism that wouldn't have hurt the entertainment factor or overall impact of the scene. 

Everything else I can handwave. I'm not looking for a documentary. I just thought there were a few moments where I wondered if they'd consulted with anyone who worked at a retirement community. 

5 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

One unrealistic depiction that hasn't yet been discussed is there are many people in such facilities whose brains are affected to cause Parkinsonian or other mobility symptoms rather than dementia, and who might "only" have the mild cognitive loss demonstrated in the conversation between Charles and Calbert about those pesky nouns.

Yes, I noticed that too. There weren't enough canes and walkers, but then again, most of the residents seemed to be in the upper 70s, so maybe that's the explanation.

Also, as @chaifan mentioned, there are people who are living independently with minimal to no assistance. It's possible they might hire a part time helper to help them who is kind of like a personal assistant. Then there are people who have a full time assistant helping them, but they're still considered to be doing independent living because they're otherwise healthy, they just need a little extra assistance and minding. Then there's full on assisted living where there are other health issues as play that make it no longer possible to be in the independent living part of the facility. Then there's memory care which is sometimes just another unit within the assisted living facility depending on the layout of the place. 

One thing that was sadly accurate is the distance between active seniors and the people in assisted living. Even people who were showing a few signs here and there, forgetting the nouns as Calvert phrased it, but still in the independent living part of the property, might find people who'd previously been friendly putting distance between them. It's almost like they think it's contagious or they worry that other people will think they're in similar condition.

In some cases there were spouses who were separated with one being in independent living and one being in assisted living. 

[possibilities]

People outside of instutitions like that also shun disabled people. I find that most people would prefer we are not visible. So I'm sure that TV rules say: don't bother the viewers-- we don't think the ratings will be any good if we show too many of "them".

[shapeshifter]

26 minutes ago, possibilities said:

People outside of instutitions like that also shun disabled people. I find that most people would prefer we are not visible. So I'm sure that TV rules say: don't bother the viewers-- we don't think the ratings will be any good if we show too many of "them".

Yeah. 
Plus the main cast were all mid-70s.

[chaifan]

2 hours ago, Avaleigh said:

The moment when I felt my intelligence was being a little insulted was when we saw the EMTs rolling a stretcher past the dining room in order to reach Florence.

That didn't bother me at all.  At my mom's former independent/assisted living place that happened all the time.  The dining room was directly in front of the front door and lobby.  That's where the ambulances parked (big covered driveway & drop off entrance).  So people got rolled past the dining room all the time.  And yep, it got people talking!  I guess it's different everywhere, and you're used to what you've seen. 

3 hours ago, Avaleigh said:

One thing that was sadly accurate is the distance between active seniors and the people in assisted living.

I totally agree.  At my mom's place, the more able residents tended to socialize with the more able, and vice versa.  There was a "cool kids" table that was very snooty, you never saw any of them socializing with less able residents.

[Avaleigh]

41 minutes ago, chaifan said:

That didn't bother me at all.  At my mom's former independent/assisted living place that happened all the time.  The dining room was directly in front of the front door and lobby.  That's where the ambulances parked (big covered driveway & drop off entrance).  So people got rolled past the dining room all the time.  And yep, it got people talking!  I guess it's different everywhere, and you're used to what you've seen. 

Interesting to know. I agree with you, I guess it's only jarring if it isn't what you're used to seeing. To me it came across as insensitive, but obviously not everyone feels the same way. Our place had a covered driveway and drop off entrance too, but it wasn't in view of the main dining room, so you couldn't see who was coming in or going out if you were in the dining area as they were on the show.

41 minutes ago, chaifan said:

I totally agree.  At my mom's place, the more able residents tended to socialize with the more able, and vice versa.  There was a "cool kids" table that was very snooty, you never saw any of them socializing with less able residents.

Same with the place where I worked. I probably shouldn't admit it, but we had private nicknames for a few of the cliques. We called one of the popular groups the MGs (abbr for "mean girls") because they could be so harsh even with each other. They were slightly terrifying tbh and several of them looked great and they seemed to judge others based on appearance (and probably money). The OGs were badass. They were nice, a little older, but they didn't take any shit from the MGs and were the only clique who could check them. The Golden Girls were mostly Italian. They were probably my favorites. 

[30 Helens]

9 hours ago, Avaleigh said:

One thing that was sadly accurate is the distance between active seniors and the people in assisted living. Even people who were showing a few signs here and there, forgetting the nouns as Calvert phrased it, but still in the independent living part of the property, might find people who'd previously been friendly putting distance between them. It's almost like they think it's contagious or they worry that other people will think they're in similar condition.

Interesting discussion. I think there is a complex set of emotions that lead to this situation. One, the active senior knows their friend has begun the slow slide towards death and there’s nothing they can do about it. By closing off their emotions, they can shield themselves from some of the impending pain and grief.

Two, they know this person represents their potential future. Facing death is scary enough, but losing your mental faculties in the process is terrifying. It’s not that they think the condition is contagious, but seeing someone who used to be just like them succumbing to such a horrible disease reminds them of their own vulnerability.

It’s a classic case of out of sight, out of mind. And while stepping back from the friendship is obviously unkind, I don’t think it’s malicious. As I get closer to the point where death becomes more than a distant concept, I can empathize with those who may not handle it well. But I also know that closing your eyes to it is foolish and won’t change a thing.

8 hours ago, possibilities said:

People outside of instutitions like that also shun disabled people. I find that most people would prefer we are not visible. So I'm sure that TV rules say: don't bother the viewers-- we don't think the ratings will be any good if we show too many of "them".

I am very sorry for any unkindness you have experienced. I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable around those with disabilities because they’re unfamiliar with the situation and are afraid of doing/ saying the wrong thing. So they just avoid any interaction. This is not to excuse their behavior, because just like the elderly person who turns their back on a declining friend, they’re only shielding themself. It’s not a malicious act, but it’s certainly a selfish one… even if they don’t realize it.

TV could certainly do a lot to change this. In its unique pervasive way, it sets examples for behavior and offers familiarity with people and situations that are outside a viewer’s usual realm. I agree that people with disabilities have been greatly underrepresented on TV, to the detriment of everyone. But as streaming channels open up new opportunities for new voices and diverse stories, I hope that will change. 

Just as Mike Schur tried to present a different view of aging with this show. To quote him:

Quote

People over the age of 49 are nonentities, traditionally speaking. That’s stupid and self-defeating. One of the things you miss out on if you are youth-obsessed is just honest, straightforward depictions of all the parts of humanity as we get older. The happiness, the sadness, the joy, the pain, the misery, the adventure.

A lot of other cultures and countries do it better than we do, in my opinion. My uncle married an Irish woman, and she said, ‘Why do women in America lie about their age?’ I said, ‘Well, because there’s a premium on youth in America,’ and blah, blah, blah. She goes, ‘No, I understand that. I’m saying, why do they lie the wrong way? In Ireland, we all lie up. I’m 46. I tell people I’m 55. And they say, you look amazing for 55.’ I was like, that’s such a better way to do it, right?”

 

Edited December 3 by 30 Helens

[shapeshifter]

7 hours ago, 30 Helens said:

…an Irish woman…said, ‘Why do women in America lie about their age?’ I said, ‘Well, because there’s a premium on youth in America,’ and…. She goes, ‘No, I understand that. I’m saying, why do they lie the wrong way? In Ireland, we all lie up. I’m 46. I tell people I’m 55. And they say, you look amazing for 55.’ I was like, that’s such a better way to do it, right?”

Hah! I actually do “lie up” by half a year. 
American TV shows arguably did have the greatest impact on popular attitudes until cellphones became ubiquitous — and now TV shows have had a cultural (and economic) resurgence. While there have been more roles for mature actors since the Baby Boom cohort reached a certain age, I’m still a bit flabbergasted as to why all the main cast here are just mid-seventies.
The newly released movie Thelma (on Hulu) stars June Squibb, who was 93 when it was filmed. It deals with a lot of the themes in A Man on the Inside, and is worth viewing.
In her 90s, Betty White delivered many great punchlines in Hot in Cleveland for 5 years.

Maybe if there’s a season 2 they will cast at least a couple of 80 somethings.

Edited December 3 by shapeshifter

[libgirl2]

My  mother had dementia. It aged my dad and he never quite got over it. The bag his wife packed really hit me because I remember my parents were going to go visit relatives and my mother "packed" a suitcase of a bunch of junk toys to take to them.  I agree that whoever wrote this show knows what they are writing about. So  many things made me tear up. 

Beautifully done, funny at times, sad at others but very enjoyable. I look forward to season 2. 

Oh and did Sally Struthers lose weight? She looks really good. Wonderful seeing her on my screen again. 

[possibilities]

The denial does not protect you, In fact, if you think it's okay to shut yourself off from people, you are depriving yourself of their company AND just begging the universe to make sure everybody abandons you when you get older. I think the empathy deficit is not only obnoixious to others, but is also self-defeating.

It may be understandable, but it's not sensible or excusable. 

I truly hope that people get over their bullshit before it's too late.

[Empress1]

On 12/2/2024 at 1:28 AM, Avaleigh said:

I enjoyed the show a lot, but there were several things I had to handwave including this.

I worked at a high end retirement community that was attached to an assisted living facility back when we were still living on Long Island, and there a few things about this that seemed off to me. 

For one thing, the amount that the residents were drinking did not match what I saw at the place where I worked. True, there was a daily happy hour complete with appetizers, and they had a wine down Wednesday every week, themed happy hours, and stuff like that, but very few residents were drinking hard alcohol and the ones who did have a cocktail on occasion only had one. Most residents opted for wine, champagne, or mocktails. These people were drinking like twenty somethings in certain scenes. Our residents ranged from lated 70s to late 90s, so the older the resident the less likely they were to drink. 

Another thing that was way off were the EMTs rolling a stretcher past the dining room in full view of the residents. The only way you'd see a stretcher in the main dining room would be if somebody, heaven forbid, had a heart attack or something in the actual dining room. Otherwise there were multiple side entrances that EMTs would go through, whichever was closest to the room of the resident who was having the emergency. They'd never disturb the other residents with a scene like that.

Also, maybe this was just our place, but memorials like Florence's were not permitted to take place on the property. They had to be held elsewhere. It was explained to me it's like how the In Memoriam segment for an awards show asks audience members to hold all of the applause until the end of the segment because some people got more applause than others. This place was basically like a high school, and some residents were more popular than others. They wouldn't want to risk some people's memorials not being attended, being sparsely attended, people choosing not to speak, etc. They also wouldn't want the residents to feel pressured to attend if they didn't want to. 

Another thing that was weird was when the chef was out in the dining room in one episode and one of the residents was giving him her order for dinner. Places like the Pacific would have dining rooms that are run like restaurants complete with servers. For dinner, they generally have a starter where they can choose a soup or salad, and then there are three entrees they have to choose from and dessert if they wish.

The residents have a monthly food allowance that covers all their meals and the only way they'd go over their budget would be if they were having numerous outside guests or were ordering stuff like multiple cocktails as depicted here. It cost a lot of money to live at this place so presumably the residents were wealthy. Even so, most of them were still conscious about not going over their monthly budget. The idea that the residents can order whatever they want on any given day did not strike me as realistic based on my experience. 

I suppose wearing a tie and jacket all the time was a character trait specifically for Charles, but he would have been the only resident wearing a tie on a regular basis. Maybe you'd see some sports jackets at dinner, but only a handful of residents would bother. Most of them seemed to dress for warmth and comfort.

What was realistic was the way they handled the Alzheimers. Also, the high school like environment and the women significantly outnumbering the men. New men got lots of attention when they became residents, so all of that rang true to me. A Charles type would have had to fight them off. Also, accurate was the way rumors spread like wildfire. The residents seemed to know everything about one another even if they didn't socialize. 

My mom lives in a senior living community and I agree with your post but especially the part about the women outnumbering the men and the gossip. There’s a man in my mom’s place that’s apparently very popular. He’s like 93 but looks much younger (Black don’t crack). He’s lived there for almost 20 years. And the gossip is so real.

Mom has a meal plan and she also has a full kitchen (her place is one-bedroom apartments; there’s a nursing unit and a memory care unit too and those are more hospital settings). The dining hall is much more casual than this place (Mom’s place is nice but not as nice or expensive as this).

I wanted Calbert and Charles to make up so bad! Their friendship was so lovely. “A new friend, which feels like a miracle.” SOBBING.

This is really just such a good show.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

On 11/27/2024 at 12:34 PM, chaifan said:

Just because I'm a bit of a geek, I was trying to figure out what this investigation would have cost Helen's son.  I'm figuring a minimum of $15,000 per month for the senior residence.  Charles' pay had to be at least $10,000.  Probably something similar for Julie's fees.  So, $35,000 for a month's investigation.  If Helen's son (fabulously played by Mark Evan Jackson) had been a more emotional, nostalgic type of person, it would have made more sense.  But he came off as a guy who would have been just as happy with the insurance money, with no real attachment to the necklace itself. 

Don't forget the genuine Rolex! (Are they returnable?) Was it insured in case it was stolen?  (What if the insurance company found out that the door was intentionally left unlocked and the watch was used as bait?)

[possibilities]

Earlier in the season, there was some feeling that the daughter;s family, and especially her sons, were a waste of time, but I think that we needed to see what we did of her, and her family, and her realtionship with Charles, for the things we learned about his wife, and why all her stuff was packed up, and where Charles's head was really at in the months leading up to taking the job with the assisted living investigation. It made a big difference, I think, in putting more heart into his character.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

On 11/27/2024 at 12:34 PM, chaifan said:

 

 

Edited December 5 by ItCouldBeWorse

[Bastet]

On 11/21/2024 at 3:32 PM, SoMuchTV said:

Ooh! Surprise guest star (assuming you haven’t checked IMDb).  Blink and you’ll miss it. 

That was so fun!  I might have actually squealed "Janet!"

On 12/1/2024 at 10:19 PM, 30 Helens said:

By the way, regarding that “Eleanor” glimpse in the final episode, it seems that was not just a reference, but an actual Kristen Bell cameo! See this article for details: https://tvline.com/news/kristen-bell-a-man-on-the-inside-episode-8-cameo-explained-1235383085/

Oh, wow, I just thought it was someone dressed like Eleanor, not actually Kristen Bell.  That's cute!

This was terrific.  Such honest talk about aging and dying, and especially about dementia. 

I like the time it took for Calbert to come around, and that he ultimately did.  I was happy to see Gladys at the wedding, that she's not just locked away in memory care and forgotten about.  (And I absolutely love that Charles gave her the dog, hoping it can do for her what it did for his wife.)

And, of course, that Julie needs him for another case.  "Say no more."  [calls her back]  "Actually I do need you to say more, but whatever it is, I'm in."  Me too!

[Haleth]

That was so sweet and poignant. I had fully expected Charles to move to Pacific View at the end but if he is going to have more adventures it probably makes more sense for him to continue to live on his own. I do hope we see Cal and Ginny again. And Gladys.

Please, writers, nix the bratty teens though. 

[Seelouis]

This was one of the most unexpectedly beautiful shows I have seen in a long time. Every single member of the cast deserves an Emmy. Great to see folks like Sally Struthers and Susan Ruttan getting such meaty roles and absolutely killing it. I loved every moment. 

Edited December 18 by Seelouis