S01.E06: Episode 6

[OnceSane]

No episode description.

[FlyingEgret]

Lacy: "It's all so natural in nature."

At least she didn't need to ask the cameraman to tell her the word for what she was seeing (which was excellent, by the way)

[CindyBee]

I didn't get the appeal of Brooks during Desiree's season and I still don't get it.  

 

Producers were probably pissed when he didn't follow the script and ask Sarah out.  

[Stella MD]

Ugh, these people are all desperate Neanderthals. Robert pees a circle around Sarah when Brooks arrives and Sarah decides that she "loves" this show of creepy possessiveness. Zach berates himself for not getting more territorial with Jackie. Heaven forbid someone spends unsupervised time alone with someone other than their mandated partner - I guess the KoolAid wears off if you aren't physically clinging to one another 24/7?  

[Armchair Critic]

Shut up Zack, no pity for you if Jackie dumps you after your "depends on the girl" crap with Clare.

Brooks to me is fugly, maybe he is more attractive in person?

[CindyBee]

I think Robert peed all around Sarah not cause he really has any feelings but cause he wants to beat Brooks.

[KR Vermont]

Was Marcus given yet another date card to test if he'd give it to Cody to return the favor when he gave up his on day one when Clare said no? Or I am getting that confused with another guy--I need a player's card to keep track of who's matched up with one another at any moment. Lacy is coming across as a dimwit this season, I'm really not liking watching her and Marcus.

[Armchair Critic]

Tasos is looking better on this show... cute.

[CindyBee]

Tasos is looking better on this show... cute.

 

I thought the same thing, too.  Don't remember him being that cute on Andi's season.  

[Armchair Critic]

Another shut up goes out to AshLee, she is such a petulant brat.

[Dittohead]

Sarah, don't you dare break up with Robert, you fool!

[JenE4]

I imagine Clare standing outside her home by her garbage cans waiting for a hapless raccoon to meander by.

[CindyBee]

Sarah sticking with Robert really killed the Brooks story line so now we are stuck with Jackie/Zack/Brooks triangle which is a snooze fest.

[KR Vermont]

I love the setting of Jackie "I don't kiss on the first date" and Zack's date! Hmm, she kissed Marquel and he went home, so let's see if Zack ends up going home instead of unkissed Brooks, haha.

[drmka9]

Brooks to me is fugly, maybe he is more attractive in person?

 

I've only caught the occasional episode of the Bachelor/Bachelorette/etc, but in the few bits I caught with Brooks in Desiree's season, he seemed sort of calmly okay with himself. 99% of the people on the show seem to have weird confidence/ego/security issues and ultimately seem really fragile. I've never really seen that with Brooks, so he tends to stand out.

 

But dude showed up looking too much like Leisure Suit Larry.

[Armchair Critic]

If Michelle is so smart in the ways of love why is she on her 3rd reality show and hooked up with Cody?

 

Jesse is just trying to save face by leaving because he knows he will not get a rose.

Edited September 2, 2014 by Armchair Critic

[leighdear]

And another script-flip by Jesse.  Makes it more fun to watch, when the hamsters don't want to run on their wheel!  And yep, it's definitely a face saver.  Too bad the limo didn't get away before the girls descended.  That would have been funnier.

Edited September 2, 2014 by leighdear

[Mabinogia]

Michelle is way too focused on everyone else's relationships, that's why she can't seem to have one of her own. And, is this the same Christy as last ep because she looks totally different (and really pretty) to me this ep and I just remember her looking used and trashy last ep. Or was it just her behavior last ep that I am remembering.

 

I like Brookes. He does have this ease to him that most of these desperate folks don't have. I would certainly take him over Zach "I'm here for you...you know, after it didn't work out with Clare and I was too late to snag my first choice Christy, but I am totally all in with you bachelorette #3".

 

And just...shut up Ashlee! No, really, just shut up!

[FlyingEgret]

Did anyone else see the spider crawling up the back of Jesse's jacket?

[Armchair Critic]

Christie and Sarah are in the running for most annoying voice.

[reggiejax]

I like Christy. And Jesse Sizlak, or whatever his name is, is one of the biggest tools in the Bachelor shed.  But that whole "confrontation" was completely unsatisfying. I can't say I had any sympathy for Jesse, more like I wasn't upset about anything he did. I mean, seriously, do these people know where they are and who is funding all of this? Jesse going through the women (really only Lucy and Christy) for his own pleasure is the definition of being there for the right reason, the real right reason anyway. 

 

It also didn't help that this was all the work of the designated shit stirrer Michelle Money. That is the only reason she is there. Well that and to beard for Marquel and Cody. 

Edited September 2, 2014 by reggiejax

[Stella MD]

I'm all for Girl Power, but Christi's speech made absolutely no actual sense whatsoever and it was obviously a lost cause anyway. You could almost see Jesse thinking, 'WTF is What's-Her-Nuts going on about? And what are these other two chicks doing here? Maybe they want a little threesome action before I head out of here?'

On a separate note, does Christi have weird dark tattoos behind both ears, or was that oddly symmetrical dirt?

Edited September 2, 2014 by Stella MD

[TiredMe]

That was kind of a mess. I wish Sarah would have gone out with Brooks. Shaken things up a but more. There was zero chemistry with him and Jackie? I'm forgetting names.

Jesse really is a super douche. His limo interview about how many emails and invites he's going to get was gross, and sad because probably true! Tons of fame whores will be all over his smarmy ass.

Michelle and Cody are just odd together but he does seem sweet. Just needs to trim that blond tuft. It's a bit ridiculous.

[JenE4]

Now if you recall my post from last week, I think Jesse is an icky possible date rapist who's not even a fun Wrong Reasons. And, yet, stupid Michelle and Lacy are making me take HIS side! Shut up, Michelle Money. I'm so tired of her judging what EVERYONE else is doing. I mean, leave that to the home viewers who post on chat boards! But, she's just so judgmental and acts like she knows better about what everyone else should be saying/doing/feeling at all times. And take a seat, Lacy! Have you forgotten how you were leading both Robert and Marcus on--jumping back and forth between them and making out with each of them in front of the other--and everyone else in paradise? Why is it okay for them to hook up with multiple people and flaunt it but they have to give Jesse a scolding on behalf of The Women of the World Who Have Been Hurt by Douchebags--yet it's entirely acceptable for the girls to hurt guys in a similar fashion.

[backformore]

I thought it was absurd for Robert to tell Brooks he couldn't ask Sarah out. Better he just wait and let Sarah decide for herself.

But - if Brooks and Sarah had met before and liked each other, why do they need to g o on this show to date?

[Irritable]

Did anyone else see the spider crawling up the back of Jesse's jacket?

 

 

Yes.  Yes, I did. And once I saw it, I heard zero of what anyone said until he was finally, mercifully gone.  Every time he went to hug someone I worried the spider might get on their arm, or hand.  When he was walking through the 'jungle" toward the car, I saw that it was still clinging down toward the bottom of the jacket.  When he climbed into the limo, it wasn't visible anymore, so I assumed it must have crawled under and was now inside the jacket.  Then I wondered if he sat on it.  Then as he was sitting in the limo saying words that only sounded to me like "blah blah...spiders spiders omg spiders blah...blah spiders everywhere...blah" I was curled up in the fetal position watching intensely for it to climb up onto his neck or face.  At one point a shadow near his shirt collar made me actually scream out loud, because it was just too many minutes of going into spasms of pure revulsion for me to endure silently any longer.  Jesus, what a relief when he finally, FINALLY!!! left for good.

 

So funny that he was SUPER EXCITED about those 15 emails he is definitely going to be getting from everyone inviting him to parties and festivals.  Yes, Jessie, they will probably get right on that as soon as they are done toasting to you after the rose ceremony.  Oh, wait..............these people were over you faster than Zach was over Clare.  I mean, did any of the guys even like him???? But please do sit home and keep hitting refresh on your email account, I'm sure there is at least a Groupon or something that will show up in the inbox eventually!

Edited September 2, 2014 by Irritable

[jackjill89]

If they do this show again, I think that when a new person comes in and asks someone on a date they should have to go on it, whether they are attached to someone or not. It would make things much more interesting.

[backformore]

If they do this show again, I think that when a new person comes in and asks someone on a date they should have to go on it, whether they are attached to someone or not. It would make things much more interesting.

I like that idea -  AND they should get a chance to meet with the opposite gender without  the competition staring daggers at them, or saying "I'll kill you".   

It takes away from the show when people can stake claims and declare someone "off limits" for others to date.  

[Irritable]

I concur.  I think when someone new comes that there should be an agreed upon (or mandated) type of "formation" that the existing people get into so that the newcomer has no inkling of who is coupled up.  I'm not against people then having the option to decline going on the date, because for instance, I think everyone should be allowed to avoid alone time with Jesse Kovaks if they want to, but it would be nice if the positions on the playing field were not immediately apparent when the next players showed up to the game.

[KR Vermont]

I don't find anything appealing about Jesse, but to come to Paradise to potentially get together with multiple people doesn't seem so out of line with what this show is set up to do, he was crude and obnoxious about it though. Michelle, Lacy and Christy appeared a wee dramatic, from what little we were shown. BiP is not about creating healthy relationships if, when a connection begins to form, the person who one of them is there most wanting to meet is then sent strolling in with a date card to see if sh*t can be stirred.

[Irritable]

It irked me how dramatic Sarah was being over Brooks' arrival.  When Graham asked what the story was with her and Brooks she said herself there wasn't one, just that she had met him at the ATFR party and developed a big crush.  Unless I missed it, I don't remember Brooks saying he'd been hoping Sarah would be there, too, did he?  I remember he said they met, but didn't think there was any acknowledgment beyond that, so all her fretting over whether or not she should break up with Robert because Brooks was in da houz didn't make a lot of sense to me.  Why throw away a guy you were really into 5 minutes ago because a guy you don't actually know but have a superficial interest in has arrived?  I thought that was pretty shitty, and wonder if she is already starting to develop a large ego.  She goes from constantly explaining the depths of her many insecurities, to thinking Brooks being on the same beach as her means she's got a legitimate quandary on her hands to choose between two men.  Sarah, you're cute, but you just aren't that interesting, honey.  And also, you seem to be a terrible kisser, so please try to remedy that before the next Bachelor spinoff show starts that you will no doubt ask to be a part of.

 

I don't find anything appealing about Jesse, but to come to Paradise to potentially get together with multiple people doesn't seem so out of line with what this show is set up to do, he was crude and obnoxious about it though. Michelle, Lacy and Christy appeared a wee dramatic, from what little we were shown.

 

 

I agree.  Those women teaming up to stand threateningly over Jesse with their arms crossed, or hands on hips, like they were going to teach him a damn lesson or two, hell yes they were, because girl power and shit?  Is exactly the kind of thing Zack was talking about when he said he's not really into the whole "women's drama" thing.   It's this kind of manufactured drama and intensity about "respect" in a situation where it doesn't really apply that weakens the genuine and necessary arguments some women are out there trying to make in the real world about respect.

Edited September 2, 2014 by Irritable

[FireFoxy]

Lacy's boobs are that big because her brain sure isn't. Her and Marcus are the equivalent of Ambien.

 

Cody is INTENSE. A sweet guy but damn he is going at 500 mhp. I think he would've been perfect with Elise.

 

Hi Brooks. Bye Brooks. I still think he's gay but he seems like a nice, sweet guy.

 

If anyone was playing a drinking game and had to do a shot whenever they said Tasos, I feel sorry for you.

 

The fact that Christy is a hair stylist and her extensions remain such a mess is mindblowing. 

 

Jesse is a douche and a pig but Christy is an idiot.

 

Why was AshLee barely seen this episode? Was she not allowed out of her padded cell?

 

Poor Clare. Zach was basically saying he was miserable during his whole time with her.

 

I bet next week Graham peaces out. I still think MoneyBunns is the most genuine relationship on this whole show.

[bosawks]

Graham's eyes are constantly darting all over the place. It's like the poor guy is looking for his accomplices getaway car.

I have visions of him trying to tunnel out with a teaspoon he smuggled back from dinner.

[backformore]

Jackie's cleavage is weird. Whatever surgeon is responsible for her boobs, owes her a refund.

Ha! Auto corrected Jackie to Jackson and boobs to blobs.

Edited September 2, 2014 by backformore

[KR Vermont]

What else can you call it but selfish if AshLee is upset and crying(!?) over Graham not getting a date card (because "he deserves it")...hello, he went on a fun date with you to a race track and got to see you shimmy in your short skin-tight dress...meanwhile, there are others who are still trying to figure stuff out and could use a first date. Then again, Marcus and Lacy got another date card, ugh.

[woodscommaelle]

What are these festivals you speak of, Jesse?  Are you being invited to Coachella and Bonnaroo? What a random thing to say.

 

Never really saw it until tonight, but Jackie is beautiful.  A simple beauty, if that makes sense.  Zack seems pretty dim to me.  Not a huge fan of Brooks but I wish she had chosen him instead.

 

And I kind of want to be friends with Michelle Money in real life.  I like her.  Never saw the season she was on so this is the first I'm seeing of her.  She seems to have a great heart.

Edited September 2, 2014 by woodscommaelle

[Irritable]

I enjoyed that the only time we saw Ashlee was when she was losing it over Graham not getting the date card that he didn't even want.  In my opinion, the dates aren't really THAT important when it comes to "making a connection" or trying to get to know someone better.  They keep referring to it as one-on-one time, but there are still cameramen and someone from production present at all times, so it's not exactly private.  You can have lots of one-on-one time sitting together at meals, laying out in the sun, going swimming, etc., even if you are in a group, as long as you are both giving your full attention to each other.  My guess is that's why Ashlee is so desperate for another date...around Paradise's home base, Graham could be giving her his full attention, but he's not.  We've seen no footage to support her belief that their relationship has grown stronger every week, much less that it will continue after they go home.  To me, it feels more like Graham is just biding his time, smiling and trying to keep the crazy lady who claimed him from erupting all over the place.  While I think his dramatic near-fainting-vomit of last week's rose ceremony had more to do with something he ate or drank than him being so violently upset that Ashlee is kind of a bitch, I also don't think he is enjoying her company as much as she thinks he does. 

Edited September 2, 2014 by Irritable

[Madding crowd]

Brooks looks better than he did on Desiree's season, but he is too giggly and girlfriend-ish for me. Sarah annoyed with her immediate statement that she might have to dump Robert, the only man who showed an ounce of interest in her, with Brooks arrival. Brooks didn't seem interested in her (or Jackie either) that much. It doesn't really make sense bringing new people in, because it isn't likely they will stay unless you have a meltdown of sorts.

 

Jessie is a creep, but these women have done the exact same things so they don't get to judge. And what was that weird shadow/tattoo thing behind Christy's ear? 

 

Ii still don't understand why Graham and Ashlee are on the show. They never show Ashlee and Graham just serves as Uncle Graham to all the girls, giving advice. And he shows no interest in any of the girls so he either really likes Ashlee or just wants to stay on for some reason. Michelle is getting way to much time and I used to like her but I'm tired of her tearing up every five minutes. Either you like Cody or you don't, no one will force you to marry him. For what its worth: she could probably do worse than Cody. She looks too blown up and plastic for many guys and her whiny personality would drive the rest away

[backformore]

I don't find anything appealing about Jesse, but to come to Paradise to potentially get together with multiple people doesn't seem so out of line with what this show is set up to do, he was crude and obnoxious about it though. Michelle, Lacy and Christy appeared a wee dramatic, from what little we were shown. BiP is not about creating healthy relationships if, when a connection begins to form, the person who one of them is there most wanting to meet is then sent strolling in with a date card to see if sh*t can be stirred.

Yeah - this IS, after all, a spin-off of a show that features multiple "fantasy suite dates" with various partners.   The difference, is that on BiP, there's an opportunity to "brag to the guys"  about your conquests.  I think the three girls "confronting"  him was set up by the producers, and I think that Michelle is playing a role here -  she's being instructed to ask people what they think about others, and she's being directed to stir up drama.  

 

I suspect that everyone is asked who they most likely would want on the show.  And those people are "waiting in the wings" maybe in a hotel until the producers decide the right moment occurs.  I think it is set up so that when a relationship begins to look serious,  TPTB  call in the person most likely to disrupt that pairing, and throw them into the mix.  Everyone is being toyed with, the producers are doing what they can to stir things up.  And when things get boring, they give Michelle directions on how to make sparks fly. 

[blackwing]

Jesse appears to be a tool and a douchebag, but I don't get the point of those women standing around and crying about it and then getting angry and determining that he "wasn't going to get away with it".  That whole "I'm standing up for womankind" crap was bizarre.  They are on a show called "Bachelor in Paradise".  They willingly choose to come onto this crapfest and have "relationships" with strangers or semi-strangers, knowing that they are going to be on public display in TVs all across America, and then get all self-righteous about everything?  Whatevs.  I wish he had just slammed the door on her arm and told the driver to drive off.  No doubt the driver was instructed to wait for these three harpies who were intent on giving him a piece of their mind.

[scrambled eggs]

Lacy's boobs are that big because her brain sure isn't. Her and Marcus are the equivalent of Ambien.

 

Cody is INTENSE. A sweet guy but damn he is going at 500 mhp. I think he would've been perfect with Elise.

 

Hi Brooks. Bye Brooks. I still think he's gay but he seems like a nice, sweet guy.

 

If anyone was playing a drinking game and had to do a shot whenever they said Tasos, I feel sorry for you.

 

The fact that Christy is a hair stylist and her extensions remain such a mess is mindblowing. 

 

Jesse is a douche and a pig but Christy is an idiot.

 

Why was AshLee barely seen this episode? Was she not allowed out of her padded cell?

 

Poor Clare. Zach was basically saying he was miserable during his whole time with her.

 

I bet next week Graham peaces out. I still think MoneyBunns is the most genuine relationship on this whole show.

I want Michelle and Graham to end up back together. I started to like Michelle on the last Bachelor Pad, and she's remained my favorite this year. 

[Miss Kubelik]

Graham's eyes are constantly darting all over the place. It's like the poor guy is looking for his accomplices getaway car.

I noticed this too! I think he's trying to blink "please send help" in Morse code. Guy's getting squirrely from being smothered by AshLee and her particular crazy.

 

I never understood Brooks's appeal on Des's season, but I actually was disappointed to see him go tonight. Relative to a lot of the other bachelors anyway, he does seem pretty okay, straightforward, and fun without being desperate for attention.

 

I kind of loved Michelle, Lacy, and Christy descending upon Jesse's departing SUV, brimming with righteous fury on behalf of womankind, to read the riot act a guy who couldn't be bothered to remember names, and as if it would even prick the his alcohol-sodden brain . Ladies, save your time; his gmail is full up with evites to mixers, formals, clambakes, trips to the Cape. Y'know, whatnot.

 

(And, just as a side note, this is my first post since twop and I wouldn't have be anywhere but a Bachelor topic. Hi everybody! Here's to the right reasons, the wrong reasons, and an amazing journey.)

Edited September 2, 2014 by Miss Kubelik

[woodscommaelle]

And what was that weird shadow/tattoo thing behind Christy's ear?

 

Was it a feather tattoo?

[KR Vermont]

Her and Marcus are the equivalent of Ambien.

...side effects may vary, but my eyes roll so far back when Lacy and Marcus are together on screen, cooing away like lovebirds

 

What are these festivals you speak of, Jesse?  Are you being invited to Coachella and Bonnaroo? What a random thing to say.

Jesse's mention of festival invites got my attention too. I could see he and Kalon invited to a wet t-shirt contest, maybe...

[Irritable]

The last time I checked, festivals were things that anyone could just show up for.  I never wait for an invitation to attend the local Pumpkin, Apple, Dogwood or Geranium Festivals.  But maybe Jesse is thinking of something more exclusive, like "The Bachelor Festival of Douchebags".  Maybe he's hoping to be asked to march in the parade!

[ramble]

And what was that weird shadow/tattoo thing behind Christy's ear?

Was it a feather tattoo?

I thought it looked like a slug, but who would want a slug tattooed behind their ear? Although maybe she's a big fan of mollusks.

I like the fact the producers have decided to not pretend & just sent Tasos straight to Michelle to get his stuff figured out. She's obviously being directed & leading conversations & since I'm a Money fan it's working for me.

The editors were killing it tonight when Lacy finally told Marcus that she loved him & the entire jungle rejoiced. Then when Christy said something about God willing or in His hands the church music started & the majestic scenery was highlighted. They're having fun. The camera or sound guy, whoever tried to help Lacy with stalagmites & stalactites was obviously close to laughing.

Speaking of Lacy I so want to get to do the date she & Marcus went on. That looked amazing. Although all the cave dates have looked fun to me. I also found it unteresting that Marcus' date card said Lacy. I guess production decided to ride the love train with them.

ETA: I thought Zach was a massive jerk tonight when he was talking about how he can finally relax & be with a girl who is easy going & drama free. If he couldn't come up with a way to compliment Jacque without slamming Claire he should've just shut up.

Edited September 2, 2014 by ramble

[rozen]

Jesse's problem was that he was acting too much like BiP was the frat house, with women imported for his pleasure. Sounds like he was giving the run down on every chic like he was shopping around a used car lot. Which production probably won't show, as it shatters their 'tru wuuuuvvvv and redemption' angle. I'm not mad at MM's intervention because it legit looked like Jackie and Christy's crotches were overriding their common sense.  Jessie's a stand up guy? If they meant stand up as in 'won't take a naked photo of you when you're passed out on his bed' then maybe. Maybe.

 

Sarah would have raised holy hell if Robert had started salivating over some hot brunette, so she had no business getting antsy over Brooks. I guess she's the kind of person who immediately devalues a toy once she has finally obtained it. MM seems legit repulsed by Cody. She just wants a hard body to cuddle with while she gets her reality tv narrator money, play your position dude. 

 

Zach is such a baby. Jackie is 'drama free' because she's still shopping for an upgrade from you. He had as much internal drama as Claire expressed, only difference was that he fumed silently while pretending to only be slightly bothered by it. 

 

All I could think during Marcus and Lindy's date was that there must have been bat guano everywhere. Hurrrgh. 

[chocolatine]

Speaking of Lacy I so want to get to do the date she & Marcus went on. That looked amazing.

 

 

I don't know, the part where they were neck-deep in water with the stalactites just inches above their heads made me claustrophobic. 

 

And Jesse Sizlak, or whatever his name is, is one of the biggest tools in the Bachelor shed.

 

 

Jesse Kovacs. Jesse Csincsak was DeAnna's F1. 

 

Did anyone else see the spider crawling up the back of Jesse's jacket?

 

 

I totally missed the spider, but I noticed several shots of a crab right before or after Jesse spoke. Editors having fun again.

 

Did I mishear or did Michelle mention several times that Jesse fooled around with Christy, Lucy, and Jackie? Since we've barely even seen him talk to Jackie, can we assume that he was lying when bragging to the guys? Because if something had happened between them, we would have surely been shown, and there also would have been some fall-out with Zach, no?

 

Hi Brooks. Bye Brooks. I still think he's gay but he seems like a nice, sweet guy.

 

 

What made you think he's gay, his rendition of Mr Cellophane from the musical Chicago, or his trying to win a girl's rose through nail polish?

[KR Vermont]

I wish Michelle hadn't played along with AshLee's fakey love fest towards her as if they're besties.

[Andromeda]

Everyone's already said what I was thinking. Irritable, your spider story made me laugh, then I shared it with my husband!

 

Now I'm absolutely positive Michelle is at a higher pay grade and intentionally stirring up drama to enliven the season. Also pretty sure the driver was instructed not to leave -- and he had control of the door locks, lol. Michelle is the house mother, the aunt, the big sister. And the shit-stirrer. Graham is also like the older brother/uncle. They are really the best fit. I don't see Michelle with Cody long-term. I see him with a Christy or a Lacy, who I don't think is as smart as Marcus, unless he's also extremely dim.

 

I learned about stalacmites an stalactites when I was six and visited Carlsbad Caverns. I remember which is which because the "mites" are like fists, shoving up from the ground, and the "tites" hang tightly to the ceiling, a trick the tour guide told us. But I suppose first we have to get Lacy to say even one of the words correctly before we worry about her mixing them up.