S05.E01: The Mall / S05.E02: A Night Out With The Guys

[formerlyfreedom]

Quote

The vampires discover the mall.

and

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Nandor and Laszlo have a night out with Sean and his friends. Nadja discovers the source of her bad luck.

Airing Thursday, July 13, 2023.

[Galileo908]

"I'm the King of Bottoms." So good to see this show again.

So Gizmo ultimately wussed out at being turned. He really did want to wait for Nandor to do it. (and, yeah, turns out that anyone BUT your master turning you is a big no-no.) But HOLY CRAP the turning was botched and his blood spraying everywhere was such a great sudden reveal. I couldn't handle the wrist slitting, though. I had to turn away.

So...Guillermo got turned, but all that he gained was perfect vision and a craving for raw meat. He's pretty much Blade, right? I'm assuming the Van Helsing DNA prevents him from truly turning. And having to sleep in a "foot locker" for a coffin? Man, I want this guy to have a win for once.

I absolutely love that Colin Robinson is a waiter at a chain restaurant! He's so perfect at being an absolutely shitty waiter. I'm hyped for the show going the "different job every week" route with him.

Oh man, I was feeling so bad for Doll Nadja. Mangled by a drunk Nadja, forced to dance at the push of a button, then taken to a Build-A-Bear to fix her. I was dying at "a taint that can sign its own checks."

I really wish there was more at the Mawrl, but I loved what we saw. Loved Laszlo's flat "fuck off" to the kiosk lady.

"It is rising!"
"That is an elevator."

EDIT: Kristen Schaal in the titles now!

Edited July 14, 2023 by Galileo908

[Galileo908]

A Night Out With The Guys (since I didn't see a thread for it):

The Guide is back! But none of the vamps want her around. (EDIT: It really does seem like THESE vampires are all jerks. Just about every other vampire we've seen were totally chill.)

I felt really happy with Nadja finding Little Antipaxos.

I was dying at Sean and the boys brawling and then stealing (and crashing) Terry's cop car. They're totally saying ACAB. Or at least towards Terry.

So it's a slow turn for Guillermo? Or, like I posted in the first episode, maybe his Van Helsing blood doesn't fully turn him.

It was great to see Baron and Sire again. At least we know that getting turned twice will make someone pop.

So Nandor was the one that's better at hypnotism, and Laszlo and Nandor's hypnotism works well in tandem. Dying at Nandor forcing every cop in the NYPD to salute them because he was Sulley Sullenberger, and Laszlo was Thomas Selleck in Blue Bloods.

Edited July 14, 2023 by Galileo908

[Starchild]

43 minutes ago, Galileo908 said:

So it's a slow turn for Guillermo? Or, like I posted in the first episode, maybe his Van Helsing blood doesn't fully turn him.

For a second I was thinking that his friend (already forgot his name) is actually a werewolf without realizing it, and that's what Guillermo is becoming. 3 weeks since the bite, maybe one more week until the full moon.

But I don't see how his friend could be a werewolf instead of a vampire and not realize it by now.

[voiceover]

Laszlo has the Line of the Night: 

“It’s not [Gizmo’s] birthday, but if it is — what a bitch!”

But Nadja reeling off the NadjaDoll replacement body parts! agree that the “taint” line is right up there for her, second only to “Fucking Persian Frank Zappa”.

The Baron is very welcome back!!  Now I’ll require Neil as well (“New York Ciiiiittttaaaayyyyy!!!!”).  Please.

Eta: Upon second viewing, I was able to confirm that the Sire actually said “Young Sheldon” in his stream of gibberish.  I am dying.

[thuganomics85]

Our favorite gang from Staten Island is back!  Yay!!!

So, Guillermo really did go through with being turned into a vampire but it... doesn't seem to be taking at the moment?  At first, I thought maybe a massive mishap happened and Derek was actually a werewolf this entire time, but I then realized that wouldn't make too much sense.  I'm now wondering if there is something in the Van Helsing bloodline that makes it harder or supposedly impossible to turn.  Or will it really be a case of it being Guillermo's initial hesitation and now learning that he has disgraced both himself and Nandor in other vampire's eyes by doing this, that is simply messing with things.  Curious to see how this will play out.

Colin in an office is terrifying but him in the customer service industry?  Truly terrifying!  Those poor customers are not going to know what hit them.  And the poor staff that will no doubt have to suffer for all the chaos he causes!

I did not predict what they would end up doing to Doll Nadja!  That poor "human spirit trapped in a doll!"

Laszlo's lines about all of the mall stores were on point as always.  As usual, Matt Berry can make almost every line laugh out loud hilarious!

On to the next one!

[ItCouldBeWorse]

12 minutes ago, voiceover said:

Upon second viewing, I was able to confirm that the Sire actually said “Young Sheldon” in his stream of gibberish.  I am dying.

He definitely did.  As he was building his popsicle stick creation.

How was it that Nandor and Lazlo with their police accompaniment wound up outside the diner in Little Antipaxos?  And how did Guillermo find them there?

[thuganomics85]

Sean and the guys really do bring out the craziness for both Nandor and Laszlo.  Best wine party ever!  Like the aspect of the mind control and how Laszlo admitted that he was jealous because he isn't as good as it as Nandor is.  I wonder if a lot of it is because Nandor is the oldest I believe or is really a case of how Laszlo is able to use his natural charm to get out of trouble more and just hasn't needed to rely on it.  He has done it before on his own (I remember he did it on Sean after he hit on him and it blew up in his face), but I can by that he doesn't have the ability that Nandor seems to have.

The best part about Nandor making the police force think Laszlo is Tom Selleck is that out of all the pop culture out there, Nandor apparently knows about Blue Bloods.  I kind of want to know how that of all shows came onto his radar!

Great seeing the Baron again and Doug Jones in human form (for the most part!)  And, yes, I definitely heard "Young Sheldon" come out of the Sire's gibberish.  So random!

Cool that Kristin Schaal is in the credits now.  I wonder if that supposed "zoning" issue will eventually be done away with and she'll get to live with them in the house soon.

Things certainly aren't looking great for Guillermo.  Laszlo already knowing the truth is interesting, because I always thought this particular duo isn't explored as much as others but are already fun.

[libgirl2]

20 hours ago, Galileo908 said:

"I'm the King of Bottoms." So good to see this show again.

So Gizmo ultimately wussed out at being turned. He really did want to wait for Nandor to do it. (and, yeah, turns out that anyone BUT your master turning you is a big no-no.) But HOLY CRAP the turning was botched and his blood spraying everywhere was such a great sudden reveal. I couldn't handle the wrist slitting, though. I had to turn away.

So...Guillermo got turned, but all that he gained was perfect vision and a craving for raw meat. He's pretty much Blade, right? I'm assuming the Van Helsing DNA prevents him from truly turning. And having to sleep in a "foot locker" for a coffin? Man, I want this guy to have a win for once.

I absolutely love that Colin Robinson is a waiter at a chain restaurant! He's so perfect at being an absolutely shitty waiter. I'm hyped for the show going the "different job every week" route with him.

Oh man, I was feeling so bad for Doll Nadja. Mangled by a drunk Nadja, forced to dance at the push of a button, then taken to a Build-A-Bear to fix her. I was dying at "a taint that can sign its own checks."

I really wish there was more at the Mawrl, but I loved what we saw. Loved Laszlo's flat "fuck off" to the kiosk lady.

"It is rising!"
"That is an elevator."

EDIT: Kristen Schaal in the titles now!

I didn't even think about the Van Helsing DNA! 

20 hours ago, Galileo908 said:

I really wish there was more at the Mawrl, but I loved what we saw. Loved Laszlo's flat "fuck off" to the kiosk lady.

 

I have often wanted to do that! 

 

18 hours ago, thuganomics85 said:

 

The best part about Nandor making the police force think Laszlo is Tom Selleck is that out of all the pop culture out there, Nandor apparently knows about Blue Bloods.  I kind of want to know how that of all shows came onto his radar!

 

That was hysterical! 

[ItCouldBeWorse]

6 hours ago, thuganomics85 said:

The best part about Nandor making the police force think Laszlo is Tom Selleck is that out of all the pop culture out there, Nandor apparently knows about Blue Bloods.  I kind of want to know how that of all shows came onto his radar!

It's Lazlo's favorite! They're old; they watch CBS!

[iMonrey]

11 hours ago, thuganomics85 said:

I'm now wondering if there is something in the Van Helsing bloodline that makes it harder or supposedly impossible to turn. 

That's what I'm thinking too. We know something happened, because his eyes glowed after Derrick woke him up. And his vision is now perfect. But is that the extent of it?

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

That's what I'm thinking too. We know something happened, because his eyes glowed after Derrick woke him up. And his vision is now perfect. But is that the extent of it?

Don't forget the bat ears. 

[peridot]

I was surprised that Guillermo went through with the turning!  I thought his hints to the cameraman indicated that he backed out of it.  I jumped a little when Nandor busted down the door to speak to Guillermo.

Laszlo's not so subtle spying on Guillermo was hilarious.  I don't know why, but I cracked up when he was clutching at the wall, spying.

Colin's new way of feeding was hilarious.  I can see him thriving at his new workplace.

The vampires are such assholes!  The Guide zoomed into their house, and they just brushed her off.  I wonder why the Guide wants to hang out with them in the first place?

Nadja's slap to Colin was so unexpected and funny.

It was so random that Guillermo was hanging out at the Baron's house.  I would be terrified to be around him without the other vampires!  It's terrible that the Baron turned a guy just because he was using his leaf blower during the day.  Even worse, the poor guy exploded due to an experiment!  So gross!

I also want to know how everyone knew to meet up at the diner in the end.

[Lantern7]

Wow. I didn’t even consider Derrick being a werewolf. I was also thinking the Van Helsing blood would prevent Guillermo from being turned, which would be in keeping with Gizmo getting blue-balled by Nandor. Given the slow build, I’m thinking Derrick did the job ineptly, or someone who was recently turned can’t turn someone else.

Is it a plot hole that Guillermo didn’t know about the turned familiar taboo? He’s been around Nandor and his pals long enough to have learned about that.

Episode title was misleading, since we got little mall time. For anyone wondering, the Staten Island Mall doesn’t have a carousel. Actually, it did pop up in the video for “You Get What You Give” by New Radicals. Just some useless trivia. 🤷‍♂️

Poor ghost of human Nadja trapped in a doll’s body. The temporary solution was awful, albeit hilarious.

I’ll post full thoughts later. Right now, I’ll say that I was tickled Colin Robinson was reading the Staten Island Advance. Authenticity!

[libgirl2]

53 minutes ago, Lantern7 said:

Wow. I didn’t even consider Derrick being a werewolf. I was also thinking the Van Helsing blood would prevent Guillermo from being turned, which would be in keeping with Gizmo getting blue-balled by Nandor. Given the slow build, I’m thinking Derrick did the job ineptly, or someone who was recently turned can’t turn someone else.

Is it a plot hole that Guillermo didn’t know about the turned familiar taboo? He’s been around Nandor and his pals long enough to have learned about that.

Episode title was misleading, since we got little mall time. For anyone wondering, the Staten Island Mall doesn’t have a carousel. Actually, it did pop up in the video for “You Get What You Give” by New Radicals. Just some useless trivia. 🤷‍♂️

Poor ghost of human Nadja trapped in a doll’s body. The temporary solution was awful, albeit hilarious.

That is the other reason I was thinking about. 

[Elbaite 2.0]

2 hours ago, peridot said:

It's terrible that the Baron turned a guy just because he was using his leaf blower during the day.  

Someone's using a leaf blower outside our building right now. It's a just fate!

I'm loving how they keep upping the stakes (er, no pun intended) for Guillermo. First, if Nandor discovers he's a vampire, he'll be killed. Then, a possible out in just letting Nandor turn him again. But wait, if he chooses that, he'll explode!

And now, he's indebted to someone who, for any number of reasons, he can't trust to keep his secret safe.

And then there's the overriding mystery of why he's turning so slowly.

Two episodes in and already a great season!

 

 

 

 

[PurpleTentacle]

"If there is anyone who can get to the bottom of this kind of thing it's me. Why? because I'm the king of bottoms!"

That slayed me for a good minute. God I missed this show.

[voiceover]

I’m taking the over on G’s Van Helsing blood inhibiting his turn.

[PurpleTentacle]

16 hours ago, voiceover said:

Eta: Upon second viewing, I was able to confirm that the Sire actually said “Young Sheldon” in his stream of gibberish.  I am dying.

And Gizmo gave a very pointed look to the camera at that point.

 

 

[iMonrey]

4 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

Don't forget the bat ears. 

That's the next episode - I hadn't seen that yet.

[Gobi]

I need to have Nic Cage do a guest appearance as Dracula!

[iMonrey]

I thought this episode was much better than the first one. For those who didn't know (like me), Antipaxos is a real island in Greece. Little Antipaxos? Probably not. 😃

I loved how the Baron didn't know what would happen if you sired someone twice. They could be a vampire and a half, they could be a double vampire. Nope, they explode! LOL. 

Nandor trying to explain about the window - twice - was hysterical. 

I don't know what's going on with Guillermo but when he tried to change into a bat and only his ears changed I about died. Still, he does seem to be changing, albeit slowly. That didn't happen last time we saw him try. 

Derrick said he was "full vampire" in about seven or eight hours. But back in season 1, it took Jenna several days to change. So maybe it's just different for different people. 

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

That's the next episode - I hadn't seen that yet.

So sorry. They played both last night! 

[possibilities]

I really like Derek. I wish he had a larger role on the show.

[sistermagpie]

4 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

Is it a plot hole that Guillermo didn’t know about the turned familiar taboo? He’s been around Nandor and his pals long enough to have learned about that.

I can believe they would never talk about it since it's a familiar thing and too humiliating to think about. But really I just love they came up with it now.

 

5 hours ago, peridot said:

The vampires are such assholes!  The Guide zoomed into their house, and they just brushed her off.  I wonder why the Guide wants to hang out with them in the first place?

Who else in the whole world does she even know? 😟

5 hours ago, peridot said:

It was so random that Guillermo was hanging out at the Baron's house.  I would be terrified to be around him without the other vampires!  It's terrible that the Baron turned a guy just because he was using his leaf blower during the day.  Even worse, the poor guy exploded due to an experiment!  So gross!

I think he had no choice but to go to the Baron for help.

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

Derrick said he was "full vampire" in about seven or eight hours. But back in season 1, it took Jenna several days to change. So maybe it's just different for different people. 

She did also die, if they're following the same rules. I'm completely gripped by this storyline.

[Galileo908]

21 hours ago, voiceover said:

Eta: Upon second viewing, I was able to confirm that the Sire actually said “Young Sheldon” in his stream of gibberish.  I am dying.

I KNOW I heard that in there, too! And I figured that's what The Sire called Guillermo.

Edited July 15, 2023 by Galileo908

[Galileo908]

20 hours ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

How was it that Nandor and Lazlo with their police accompaniment wound up outside the diner in Little Antipaxos?  And how did Guillermo find them there?

Maybe the camera crews told them?

I did love Nandor riding on top of the armored car like the conqueror that he was. Same when he rode the carousel and screamed "PREPARE TO BE PILLAGED!" and "I FOUND JOHN!"

[Ohiopirate02]

Matt Berry's delivery of chilaquiles was perfect, and now I want Mexican food.

Also perfect, the whole wine bar set up with Sean and his friends being adults who drink ($8) wine now instead of shots and beer.  

[BusyOctober]

So glad this weird little show is back!    Without having to rewatch, could someone tell me what Nandor’s white noise machine selections were?  His description and the real noise?  All I caught was “abandoned orphanage” = Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  TIA!

[iMonrey]

17 hours ago, possibilities said:

I really like Derek. I wish he had a larger role on the show.

He must not be able to hypnotize or he wouldn't have to keep cleaning out the toilets for his boss. For that matter you'd think he could get a better job, although having to work nights does limit his opportunities. We don't see a lot of other vampires with jobs.

I think it's hysterical that nobody seems to notice the vampires' fangs. They're all sitting around the table at the wine bar talking about how they've never seen Laszlo eat or drink anything, their fangs are in full view, nobody comments on them.

Personally I think the gag with the living doll has worn a little thin.

[Mr. Sparkle]

13 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

Personally I think the gag with the living doll has worn a little thin.

I agree, it's a limited schtick. I kind of feel that way about the Guide, too. 

That said, I really enjoyed these two episodes. I didn't like the last 2 seasons as much as the first 2, but this felt like a return to form. I just want to see the gang doing stupid things, the longer story arcs don't do it for me personally. 

[aghst]

I can’t get enough of the doll.  She says funny things and even seems to have expressions where she seems to be rolling her eyes or looking at the camera after someone says some inane thing.

[cdnalor]

So if Gizmo is part vampire hunter and part vampire, is he going to turn into Blade?  I want to see a Wesley Snipes cameo.

[ajsnaves]

2 hours ago, cdnalor said:

So if Gizmo is part vampire hunter and part vampire, is he going to turn into Blade?  I want to see a Wesley Snipes cameo.

We’ve already had one. But the Skype was glitchy. 

[Hanahope]

Why didn’t Derrick also explode when he and the other vampire exchanged blood?

I too think the slow effect for Guillermo is due to Van Helsing DNA.  

[seacliffsal]

I know this is not the focus of the show, but I always wonder why 'Gizmo' even wants to be a vampire.  He sees the life they live and their lack of common sense and practical skills.  I have always wondered about this as it doesn't seem like a desirable lifestyle.  Oh well.  However, I really enjoy this show and appreciate the small details such as when one of the police officers said 'yes Mr. Selleck' (kind of in the background but I laughed nevertheless).  

Although not generally a fan of The Guide, I did like her in this episode 'so, you are telling me you don't have any close female friends...'

Oh, and I like seeing Derrick again.

[Lantern7]

3 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I know this is not the focus of the show, but I always wonder why 'Gizmo' even wants to be a vampire.  He sees the life they live and their lack of common sense and practical skills.  I have always wondered about this as it doesn't seem like a desirable lifestyle.  Oh well.

Probably because he's every bit as neurotic as the vampires. He's wanted the romance in his life for so long, he can't admit that his dream is flawed and hopeless.

The dual siring thing does kick things up a notch. I knew the explosion was going to happen, but it was still funny.

On 7/14/2023 at 6:59 AM, ItCouldBeWorse said:

It's Lazlo's favorite! They're old; they watch CBS!

That would be a funny running gag. It would also be fitting if they're into the reality shows. Colin Robinson probably trolls Big Brother fan forums all the time.

I don't think there's a Little Italy on Staten Island. That would be in Manhattan. Either way, a Little Antipaxos is a good way for Nadja to try and be a better person . . . or at least nt contemplate killing The Guide every other minute.

And yes, I was tickled watching Colin Robinson reading the Advance.

[iMonrey]

14 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I know this is not the focus of the show, but I always wonder why 'Gizmo' even wants to be a vampire.  He sees the life they live and their lack of common sense and practical skills.  I have always wondered about this as it doesn't seem like a desirable lifestyle. 

The opening credits show photos of Guillermo as a child pretending to be a vampire. I'm sure he has romanticized the notion of it for so long that even seeing how real vampires live hasn't deterred him. The idea of immortality and magical powers is still appealing to him. He probably thinks he wouldn't be like the others. 

The greater question is why he continues to live with them at this point. He's done as much as he can to become a vampire himself. He knows if Nandor finds out he'll kill him. The only reason he stuck around for so long was the promise of being a vampire. Now his life is in danger every minute he stays on.

[sistermagpie]

18 hours ago, Hanahope said:

Why didn’t Derrick also explode when he and the other vampire exchanged blood?

 

I was thinking about this, and I think it's not just the exchange of blood, maybe, but the act of turning. So since Derrick bit the other guy and then the guy drank his blood, it was only the other guy that was being turned. Derrick just drank some vampire blood or bit/was bitten.

17 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I know this is not the focus of the show, but I always wonder why 'Gizmo' even wants to be a vampire.  He sees the life they live and their lack of common sense and practical skills.  I have always wondered about this as it doesn't seem like a desirable lifestyle.  Oh well.  However, I really enjoy this show and appreciate the small details such as when one of the police officers said 'yes Mr. Selleck' (kind of in the background but I laughed nevertheless).  

No matter how much evidence he has to the contrary, he can't get Antonio Banderes out of his head as his future self. Plus probably a lot of sunk cost at this point. They're idiots, but that doesn't mean he has to be, he probably thinks.

[meep.meep]

I've forgotten who turned Derrick - could he be the real factor in why?  Nice touch having Derrick use the genus and species name for bat!

Guillermo has managed to make neither of his homes safe.  At Casa Vampire, he has to worry about Nandor finding out and killing him.  At Casa de la Cruz, he'll be surrounded by van Helsings who just want to kill vampires.

And his bat ears looked just like the Sire's.

[peeayebee]

26 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

I've forgotten who turned Derrick - could he be the real factor in why? 

I was just wondering that before I read your post. I googled to refresh my memory. It was the Hustle Dynasty, and at the WWDITS Fandom site, it says Derek was left without a mentor. Maybe this is why he didn't explode like Jonathan.

Edited July 16, 2023 by peeayebee

[possibilities]

Immortality is a pretty strong incentive, I'd think. Plus, he says he expected to feel extra sexy. Sexiness has been the motive for more than one stupid idea in history.

Guillermo probably thinks he can live a "normal" life like Derek, but with those added perks.

[tennisgurl]

Its so great to see this show back! So many classic lines and bits, we are coming in hot for this new season. 

I was sure that Guillermo was going to chicken out before becoming a vampire, and he did...but he got turned anyway. My guess is that his Van Helsing DNA is messing with his transformation, making him not quite a vampire but something else. Is he a part vampire now? I thought that the show wouldn't want to change the status quo and make Guillermo a vampire, then I thought that he would decide not to be a vampire anymore after spending so much time with our goofy gang, but him trying to hide that he's a sort of vampire while sort of transforming is a funny new change to the show. Especially now that Laszlo knows. 

Guillermo certainly has lost a lot of his romantic notions of vampires as these sexy graceful creatures of the night, but I think he still pictures himself as Antonio Banderas and he just cant give that up. I can also imagine that he feels like after so many years of waiting, he cant give up and admit that he's wasted half his life. 

Sean and his friends are classy $8 wine guys now!

[libgirl2]

9 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

 

Sean and his friends are classy $8 wine guys now!

That was pretty funny... ah yes, the "we drink wine now" phase. 

Edited July 17, 2023 by libgirl2

[possibilities]

Also, the ability to fly seems like it would be a fun thing to have. 

Lazlo had a mission that set him apart last season, too, when he was secretly taking care of baby Colin. I am not sure that repeating that pattern having him hold Guillermo's secret was the best move. We know he can do it, and that he cares more than he lets on. But it's not the freshest writing choice at this point.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

On 7/14/2023 at 1:51 PM, Lantern7 said:

Is it a plot hole that Guillermo didn’t know about the turned familiar taboo? He’s been around Nandor and his pals long enough to have learned about that.

On 7/14/2023 at 6:21 PM, sistermagpie said:

I can believe they would never talk about it since it's a familiar thing and too humiliating to think about. But really I just love they came up with it now.

So, if Simon the Devious (Nick Kroll) wanted to get rid of Nandor, he could have turned Guillermo, which would have eventually resulted in Nandor killing himself?  Would the taboo against turning another vampire's familiar have forestalled him from doing so?

Also, if a random familiar is turned by another vampire who doesn't know the former's familiar status, it would mean the ultimate death of the familiar's master, so why are familiars allowed to roam unaccompanied?  Shouldn't they be branded in a visible place so that other vampires know they are not fair game?

Edited July 17, 2023 by ItCouldBeWorse

[Bruinsfan]

On 7/16/2023 at 10:24 AM, iMonrey said:

The greater question is why he continues to live with them at this point. He's done as much as he can to become a vampire himself. He knows if Nandor finds out he'll kill him. The only reason he stuck around for so long was the promise of being a vampire. Now his life is in danger every minute he stays on.

I there really any mystery about this? I think he's still hung up on Nandor, despite all the reasons he shouldn't be.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

On 7/15/2023 at 7:49 PM, Hanahope said:

Why didn’t Derek also explode when he and the other vampire exchanged blood?

Perhaps because he wasn't bit in the neck?

On 7/15/2023 at 8:31 PM, seacliffsal said:

I know this is not the focus of the show, but I always wonder why 'Gizmo' even wants to be a vampire.  He sees the life they live and their lack of common sense and practical skills.  I have always wondered about this as it doesn't seem like a desirable lifestyle.

On 7/16/2023 at 12:21 AM, Lantern7 said:

Probably because he's every bit as neurotic as the vampires. He's wanted the romance in his life for so long, he can't admit that his dream is flawed and hopeless.

On 7/16/2023 at 2:21 PM, sistermagpie said:

No matter how much evidence he has to the contrary, he can't get Antonio Banderes out of his head as his future self. Plus probably a lot of sunk cost at this point. They're idiots, but that doesn't mean he has to be, he probably thinks.

2 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

Guillermo certainly has lost a lot of his romantic notions of vampires as these sexy graceful creatures of the night, but I think he still pictures himself as Antonio Banderas and he just cant give that up. I can also imagine that he feels like after so many years of waiting, he cant give up and admit that he's wasted half his life. 

21 hours ago, possibilities said:

Plus, he says he expected to feel extra sexy. Sexiness has been the motive for more than one stupid idea in history.

Does he really think that Lazlo, or Derek, are sexy?

As to sunk costs: he's helped lure murder victims and dispose of their bodies for years.  If he's not eventually a vampire, he'll just have been a(n assistant to) serial killer(s).

Edited July 17, 2023 by ItCouldBeWorse

[Ohiopirate02]

4 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

Does he really think that Lazlo, or Derrick, are sexy?

Laszlo isn't sexy??????

[ItCouldBeWorse]

23 hours ago, possibilities said:

Lazlo had a mission that set him apart last season, too, when he was secretly taking care of baby Colin. I am not sure that repeating that pattern having him hold Guillermo's secret was the best move. We know he can do it, and that he cares more than he lets on. But it's not the freshest writing choice at this point.

Agreed, but he appears to be the only one of the conventional vampires with any actual intelligence. It would be boring if all 3 of them were idiots.

Edited July 18, 2023 by ItCouldBeWorse