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Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets


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15 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Considering this was settled, and never made it to court, to my knowledge, I’m surprised there wasn’t a NDA attached. Perhaps that’s something Jim Bob wanted, and didn’t get?

I think both J&D have stated JB asked them to sign NDAs and they refused. If by this time they had legal representation, evil, narcissist JB was SOL. 

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1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I would have been surprised if Jill had spoken out against the way she was raised, because she has said and shown she's okay with much of it. That's where I get confused. Jinger wrote specifically about how aspects of her upbringing negatively impacted her and its dismissed because she's a helpmeet. Then Derick's rage against JB somehow made Jill the Hero Breakaway Kid.

For all the negative Jinger just went from one cult to another talk, Jill has never really left the cult she was in. Public school is bad, earth is flat, uses that "fun family" instant obedience game with the boys, etc.

In my opinion, if it hadn't been for contract/money issue, Jill would be exactly where Jessa seems to be at this point.

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7 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

For all the negative Jinger just went from one cult to another talk, Jill has never really left the cult she was in. Public school is bad, earth is flat, uses that "fun family" instant obedience game with the boys, etc.

In my opinion, if it hadn't been for contract/money issue, Jill would be exactly where Jessa seems to be at this point.

I agree. And Derick would be very much where Ben seems to be.

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(edited)

It stuck out to me when one of the documentary’s participants said her parents started drinking the kool-aid when she was in 7th grade and that’s when they pulled her out of school and began home schooling. I think those 12 or 13 years of previous exposure to the outside world were probably helpful in her being able to deconstruct. She seemed to know all along that Gothard’s teachings were bullshit, as opposed to someone like the Duggar or Rod kids. I wonder if Jill Duggar’s eldest child will have any memories of his time in public school.

Edited by charmed1
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(edited)
10 hours ago, MamaGee said:

I never watched the "Counting..." show religiously (pun intended) so I don't understand this quote. Can someone enlighten me?

Amy wasn't mentioned much during the early Duggar TV years. Then all of a sudden (please remember that "reality" TV is heavily scripted, staged, and edited and bears no resemblance to actual reality), she was in many episodes, including some in which she was the main focus. She also had a short-lived attempt at a country music career, which was probably also ginned up by TLC. A lot of people think she's just an attention whore. I think people can be attention whores, and also be right about her pedophile cousin and POS aunt and uncle, and appear in documentaries in support of that belief. 

Derick is...complicated. I think he's a lying liar who lies in the way that so many overly religious bigots are. But he's still right about his in-laws. 

Edited by Heathen
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1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I would have been surprised if Jill had spoken out against the way she was raised, because she has said and shown she's okay with much of it. That's where I get confused. Jinger wrote specifically about how aspects of her upbringing negatively impacted her and its dismissed because she's a helpmeet. Then Derick's rage against JB somehow made Jill the Hero Breakaway Kid.

Jill as with anyone, famous or not famous, has the right to tell their story and share whatever they want with the public, but I find the continued rehashing of this financial feud curious. As I've said before, it seems to me that Derick is the only one who benefits from it.

 

Derick has never met a career he didn't want to quit after a year. He wants the relatively easy money of celebrity and thinks that Jill being on the show since adolescence entitles him to a lifetime financial ease. 

25 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I agree. And Derick would be very much where Ben seems to be.

And this reminds me that one of Derick's many social media rants was over JB's hypocrisy in allowing TLC to censor them over their more odious religious and political beliefs. JB chose men for his daughters based on the "heart for ministry." These boys married in thinking they'd have an instant audience for their blather and were sorely disappointed. Early in Ben and Jessa's marriage, it was very obvious when JB/TLC told them to tone down the fire and brimestone on social media , and I don't think Ben ever got over that. He's been seething with resenting ever sense and I suspect he's jealous of Derick's willingness and ability to buck JB on that score. 

I think there's a huge "enemy of my enemy is my friend" element to how differently Jill and Jinger's "rebellions" are viewed. It's not so much the beliefs that people care about, so much as how much they piss off JB. And while I'll always enjoy knowing that JB and Michelle are having a bad time, when you look at Anna's siblings and how they've unambiguously shed the shackles of fundamentalism and still manage to have a relationship with their parents, how JB/M feel about their kids' beliefs is probably the wrong metric to focus on in determining how "free" the kids are. 

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I just read that Olivia Plath (Welcome to Plathville) is planning an IG live on June 6. She says she was triggered by the documentary and wants to tell her story. Never watched that show so im not sure if she wants to weigh in to add information or just get attention 

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2 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

I just read that Olivia Plath (Welcome to Plathville) is planning an IG live on June 6. She says she was triggered by the documentary and wants to tell her story. Never watched that show so im not sure if she wants to weigh in to add information or just get attention 

Kind of the opposite of you poeticlicensed. Never watched 19 or spinoffs, but have seen all Plathville. Can't decide if Olivia is just a typical reality show famewhore, or someone really harmed by her upbringing and marriage into a very dysfunctional family. Will prob follow this.

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1 hour ago, Showthyme said:

It is a process. There is so much for them to emotionally unpack. Jill and Jinger still live in a bubble therefore, I don’t think they struggle as much as those that had to escape with literally nothing and had to navigate the real world. 
 

Jill and Jinger still make their money from social media and many of their followers are religious. They are not going to show all of their cards at once or do it in an aggressive manner. What would be left to sell?
 

Both women still seem very traumatized. It is heartbreaking. The husbands are in a difficult position because it really isn’t their story to tell and I think that they also bought into the Duggar story without understanding the JB and Michelle were the only beneficiaries of 19+. 

Good points.  And, Jill did address the Duggar (Gothard) rules she disagreed with and how she has moved on as she mentions her nose ring.  Maybe, she was a little conscious of just how much scorched earth she was going to create with her family. It’s not just her parents, but siblings too.  Will JB excommunicate anyone who speaks to Jill now? I get that concern.  Just being a part of that show was a huge deal, regardless of how much she dissed JB previously. In the Fundie world what she’s said is huge, so I’ll not fault her for not being more demonstrative.  My grief with Jill and Derick would be regarding low information to their kids, if that’s the case, and extraneous comments by Derick that aren’t addressed in this docu series.
 

I do wonder why a couple of good attorneys couldn’t have hammered out a good financial settlement long ago with Jill and JB, which would have avoided the entire controversy. That offer with perpetual rights to JB wasn’t realistic.  Perhaps, JB and his team believed that Jill would never go public and if she did, it would not be a biggie.  Poor judgment for sure.  It could have been averted.  The kids should have their contracts examined to see if they’re voidable.  I’d think most of the adult children are feeling rather uncomfortable about now.  

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41 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

Never watched that show so im not sure if she wants to weigh in to add information or just get attention 

The latter.

She's "triggered" (one of her favourite words), and wants to speak "her truth".  She fancies herself quite an intellectual, and uses a lot of self help buzzwords.

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23 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

rules she disagreed with and how she has moved on as she mentions her nose ring.

This reminds me of pants wearing being said to be symbolic of the females breaking away. Pants and nose rings are external. Beliefs and how they are acted out are not worn on the outside, that’s how “they” wanted it, in my opinion. Wolf in sheep’s clothing, and all of that.

 

"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves." Matthew 7:15

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(edited)

The show had a scene from an old Duggar episode where JB describes how their family used to attend the big church services, but then they started having their own home service.  So, is that a common practice with other followers?  They showed a lot of the mega church services, but not small churches. Are there local Gothard based churches?  Do they pass the plate and send their offerings to headquarters?  How does that work?  

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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1 hour ago, Heathen said:

A lot of people think she's just an attention whore. I think people can be attention whores, and also be right about her pedophile cousin and POS aunt and uncle, and appear in documentaries in support of that belief. 

I just saw two episodes of the documentary with a friend of mine I’ve mentioned here before (she was raised in fundy/Quiverfull circles, but was an only child, left and is an out married lesbian). 

Regarding Amy- I do believe she is a fame whore who had career aspirations that didn’t pan out. I also think she loves to hear her self talk and should keep quiet most of the time she is spouting off on social media. I also believe she genuinely loves her cousin Jill, loved Grandma Mary and is right about Josh and has an opinion on her uncle/aunt and how they handled things. In the two episodes I watched I thought that was the best she came across in years (since Mary died). 
 

I enjoyed many of the things my friend had to say (she remembers the booklets about eye traps). She did notice how Jill still deferred to Derrick a lot, and how emotional support is one thing but she acted as if he was there as her attorney (can I answer this?) rather than her husband. 

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The scene of the little boy getting fake spanked and chided in front of the church was particularly disturbing and infuriating.  Just horrible, but I wasn’t surprised the crowd was so amused.  Fundies love that kind of thing. I’d like to know where that kid is today.  

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36 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

They showed a lot of the mega church services, but not small churches. Are there local Gothard based churches?  Do they pass the plate and send their offerings to headquarters?  How does that work?  

No, IBLP is not a church as such.  They gain their money by selling overpriced products and fees for attending conferences, viewing downloads, etc.  Think of it as an exaggerated self-help group.  They make their money in a similar way to Weight Watchers.  This way they can infiltrate many churches regardless of denomination and that's how they were able to remove the religion and sell their character quality material to non-religious groups.  

31 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

The cynical part of me thinks he did it to be able to classify his house as a church, for tax purposes

Then he failed.  The house was never classified as a church for taxes.  

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40 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I do wonder why a couple of good attorneys couldn’t have hammered out a good financial settlement long ago with Jill and JB, which would have avoided the entire controversy. That offer with perpetual rights to JB wasn’t realistic.  Perhaps, JB and his team believed that Jill would never go public and if she did, it would not be a biggie.  Poor judgment for sure.  It could have been averted.  The kids should have their contracts examined to see if they’re voidable.  I’d think most of the adult children are feeling rather uncomfortable about now.  

JB seems to mostly work with Travis Story, who does not specialize in either entertainment or labor law.

I would also guess that Arkansas does not have that many entertainment lawyers - yes, some films have shot there, but the permitting process to film in Arkansas requires considerably more paperwork than, say, filming in Georgia, and Arkansas has comparatively few soundstages - and most of those are relatively small. So the entertainment industry appears to have a very small footprint there - which in turn would suggest only a limited number of entertainment lawyers. 

I mention this because that whole perpetual rights thing appears to me to be more of an entertainment/intellectual property clause/argument than a labor argument. I don't know of any entertainment companies, including not-exactly-labor/talent-friendly Disney, that purchases perpetual rights to labor, but I do know of several entertainment groups - absolutely including Disney - that would like perpetual rights to the intellectual property/final product.

Regardless of which rights we are discussing here, what Jill described does seem unlikely - to me - to stand up in court. But I am not a lawyer, so could easily be wrong here, and it's also not at all clear to me whether or not the rest of the kids will be willing to take their parents/Warner Bros Discovery to court, given the financial/emotional costs.

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3 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

The scene of the little boy getting fake spanked and chided in front of the church was particularly disturbing and infuriating.  Just horrible, but I wasn’t surprised the crowd was so amused.  Fundies love that kind of thing. I’d like to know where that kid is today.  

I’d wager much of that laughter was/is directed at godless heathens who are too sissy to smack kids around. “Yah! Watch this, you librul lamestream media types; you abortion lovers, n’ whatnot!”

What hurts the credibility of this documentary is the constant use of the passive voice. 
“We were told…” “It was decided…” “There was pressure to…”  The filmmakers didn’t press hard enough on many issues, and we heard no legal or Child Protective voices weighing in. Why the hell not?

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I don’t think CPS can comment on cases.  Of course, it’s possible they were not contacted. That’s difficult to comprehend , considering…..I would think there was some inquiry in the Duggar home when they adopted their nephew, but since it was a family arrangement, idk.  

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I don't see Jill going through any slow process at all. She may have said her parents integrated IBLP into their childhoods, but she didn't say it harmed her in any way. With Jinger, she may not have said her parents did a, b, & c, but she did say the way she was raised was harmful. We all know who raised her.

I don't see why any Duggar kidult would go scorched earth on their parents. Not *one seems to dislike their parents at all. In fact they seem to love them and enjoy spending time with them. Any one of them could do a 'tell-all' without tearing down their parents and that would work for me.

*I don't even think Jill dislikes JB, but I do think Derick does.

 

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(edited)

Does anyone know the name of the church that Jill was married?  Was it the same one that Josh was married in? 
 

I don’t think it’s unusual for children who are abused or neglected by their parents to still love them.  And, I’m not saying JB and Michelle did that.  The children each had their own individual experiences.  Maybe, they aren’t even sure. From the outside, I may seem ok with my Fundie parents, but that’s far from the truth.  I’ve come to terms with it.  I don’t believe I’d ever do a documentary…not while my parents are living.   I can see how that might change if I was in dire financial straits, though.  

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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5 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Does anyone know the name of the church that Jill was married?  Was it the same one that Josh was married in? 

No Josh was married in Florida. Jill was married at Cross Church in Springdale, Arkansas. 

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12 minutes ago, Zella said:

No Josh was married in Florida. Jill was married at Cross Church in Springdale, Arkansas. 

Thanks. I see that Cross Church is Southern Baptist and Josh’s wedding was at Buford Baptist in Florida and is Independent Baptist.  Interesting. 

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Did anyone else have a reaction to seeing so much of Josh? I just remember watching the old footage for the first time and realizing that none of the older kids liked Josh, thinking he was a smug little shit, but having no idea what an awful predator he was. 
 

In the two episodes I watched so far I like that they pointed out environments of complete authority, lack of bodily autonomy and a strict hierarchical structure is a breeding ground for abuse. 
 

Humans are pack animals, and our social structures are hierarchical, so I understand why people would be lured in. I need to go look up the name of the older woman who had such pretty red hair when she was young and a wedding dress that reminded me of Ariel (Tia Levings?) and how she ended up in a marriage with an abuse asshole and was completely trapped- I appreciated the view point of someone who experienced IBLP as an adult. 

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2 hours ago, BAForever said:

Kind of the opposite of you poeticlicensed. Never watched 19 or spinoffs, but have seen all Plathville. Can't decide if Olivia is just a typical reality show famewhore, or someone really harmed by her upbringing and marriage into a very dysfunctional family. Will prob follow this.

With Olivia I think it’s probably a little bit of both. If I remember correctly, Olivia’s mother was originally a school teacher and her father was involved in IT of some sort before they moved the whole family to a farm somewhere. So she’s also someone who had somewhat of a normal life pre-cult. I’m going to cut her some slack considering her little brother was just killed. Not to mention her situation with her nutty in-laws. The documentary probably did trigger some very raw emotions.

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12 minutes ago, charmed1 said:

With Olivia I think it’s probably a little bit of both. If I remember correctly, Olivia’s mother was originally a school teacher and her father was involved in IT of some sort before they moved the whole family to a farm somewhere. So she’s also someone who had somewhat of a normal life pre-cult. I’m going to cut her some slack considering her little brother was just killed. Not to mention her situation with her nutty in-laws. The documentary probably did trigger some very raw emotions.

I agree. Olivia sounds like a survivor to me. Like Jill, she's still processing things. She's just more self-assured than Jill. But that could also be an act, hiding a lot of pain. 

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1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

IIRC, all the Duggars were married in different churches. It seems to me the only requirement was the church could seat a bajillion guests.

I remember when my daughter moved to South Carolina and we visited her. I couldn't get over the size of the churches there. Bigger than schools and most government buildings. She said when she would meet people in the community the first time, they always asked which church she attended, before they asked what she did for a living or where she lived. And everything was closed on religious holidays, like good Friday, including the schools and government offices. 

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On 6/1/2023 at 8:18 PM, lascuba said:

That was weird, because earlier he said they had discussed the abuse as a married couple before the story broke. The best I can figure is that he was trying to comment on how awful it was for In Touch to break the story when he hadn't even known about it when they were engaged. Meaning it's so personal that it should only be discussed with Ines spouse. 

Or he's just having trouble keeping his lies straight.

It would also be hard to have any deeply personal discussions while engaged because they don't get to be alone.  She would have had to discuss it in front of someone else, and I think that puts the kibosh on any personal discussions until after marriage.  Another control mechanism. 

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1 hour ago, quarks said:

JB seems to mostly work with Travis Story, who does not specialize in either entertainment or labor law.

In the last few years JB has also been using the Reed law firm in PA, which seems to specialize in estate planning, wills, trusts, etc. JB has Shiloh Properties llc registered through them, though JB is the owner/incorporator. It owns all the property surrounding Jed!'s car lot.

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1 hour ago, crazy8s said:

In the last few years JB has also been using the Reed law firm in PA, which seems to specialize in estate planning, wills, trusts, etc. JB has Shiloh Properties llc registered through them, though JB is the owner/incorporator. It owns all the property surrounding Jed!'s car lot.

(nods)

(checks)

Yeah, I don't see any indication that the Reed law firm works in entertainment or labor law. Which isn't to say that they couldn't draw up an employment contract - just that they might not be familiar with various aspects of entertainment/IP law.

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3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't see Jill going through any slow process at all. She may have said her parents integrated IBLP into their childhoods, but she didn't say it harmed her in any way. With Jinger, she may not have said her parents did a, b, & c, but she did say the way she was raised was harmful. We all know who raised her.

I don't see why any Duggar kidult would go scorched earth on their parents. Not *one seems to dislike their parents at all. In fact they seem to love them and enjoy spending time with them. Any one of them could do a 'tell-all' without tearing down their parents and that would work for me.

*I don't even think Jill dislikes JB, but I do think Derick does.

 

To add to this, Jill posted yesterday in an Instagram reply that she loves her parents. I don’t doubt that.

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I’d be more apt to turn my back on my child if he or she had molested siblings, than with a child who spoke their truth. If I were JB and Michelle, I might put out a message saying that their past actions as parents were wrong and hurt my children, while at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. 

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31 minutes ago, zenme said:

I’d be more apt to turn my back on my child if he or she had molested siblings, than with a child who spoke their truth. If I were JB and Michelle, I might put out a message saying that their past actions as parents were wrong and hurt my children, while at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. 

That takes an amount of emotional maturity I don’t think JB & Michelle have. Even if they had those thoughts privately, it’s very hard for people to admit they were wrong, ESPECIALLY to people lower on the social hierarchy than them (like their children).

I have a friend who was sexually abused by her father- he ended up serving time in prison for a contact crime against a non-related minor. (she knew I followed the Duggars and commented on this when the abuse and his conviction became public). Her mother took him back after his prison term, they are still married and live together. (Think of an Anna) It’s hard on the siblings (now all in their 40s) because they love their mom but fully know what their father did and don’t want to associate with him. Her mom’s stance is that she should be forgiving. 

55 minutes ago, RandomX said:

To add to this, Jill posted yesterday in an Instagram reply that she loves her parents. I don’t doubt that.

I don’t doubt it either. You can love your parents/caregivers and think they seriously misstepped in some ways. You can love them and think they weren’t equipped to be good parents for a variety of reasons (illness, addiction, selfishness, other priorities etc). Jill can believe she was done dirty, but still have happy memories etc from her childhood, and think her parents did some things right. 

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(edited)

I have been have on the Duggar forums for many years.

Here are some tweets from someone who I've been following for a long time on Twitter.

It was so interesting to me to see the reactions to this documentary from someone I "know" who hasn't heard of it at all.

(I tried blocking out anything political)

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Edited by ChiCricket
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4 hours ago, poeticlicensed said:

I remember when my daughter moved to South Carolina and we visited her. I couldn't get over the size of the churches there. Bigger than schools and most government buildings. She said when she would meet people in the community the first time, they always asked which church she attended, before they asked what she did for a living or where she lived. And everything was closed on religious holidays, like good Friday, including the schools and government offices. 

That was my experience in South Carolina as well. People I barely knew would try to recruit me to their churches. And South Carolina had blue laws, too. In their version, you couldn't buy alcohol or general merchandise from 11 PM on Saturday night to 1 PM on Sunday afternoon. They'd rope off the GM side of Walmart. 

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On 6/2/2023 at 1:59 PM, Zella said:

So after my hissy fit last night about why Paul and Morgan are included, they're now posting about how betrayed they feel by the documentary people at their depiction. 🤣 I think I better understand the role they served, and I suspect they're like the Joe Exotics and Sarmas of the world who are too tone deaf to realize that people aren't asking them to be on things because they like them or are supportive of them. 

 

I guess the producers could have been vague about what POV they were taking in the doc but if they come off bad, it's on them.  That said, it's exposure for them and playing the victim will get them followers.  As much as people think they're terrible, some will watch and want to see more. 

They were a cute couple in the interview, but Morgan coming off as hateful in the "they/them" rant is all on her. 

I was a little disappointed that the doc didn't include that Bobye had an order of protection on her husband.  IMO, I think that would have been an important detail to include about how insidious the culture can be.  Even if he's criticizing it now, their dynamic in the doc not only represented a typical abuser/abused public relationship but what a good IBPL wife should do. 

In the first two episodes, Amy's husband annoyed me.  He kept speaking whenever she'd speak up.

I think four episodes was a bit too few for this. I think each aspect could have been at least another episode or more.  For instance, if they talk of the Joshua Generation, they're going beyond IBPL, and I did think it was worth examining that further.  Otherwise, it's too easy to lay the dysfunction at the feet of the Duggars or Gothard when that philosophy has had negative consequences for so many men and women.

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1 hour ago, Irlandesa said:

I think four episodes was a bit too few for this

the title says "season one" - not sure if that means there will be a "season two?" 

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