Manzo'd With Children - General Discussion

[fliptopbox]

Went to check out Cafface on Yelp. Good reviews, but it seems all of them center around a makeup artist named Amanda. Not one mention of Lauren, anywhere! I love it. I was mainly looking to see if anything had been reviewed since Lauren decided to update it from just a high end makeup shop to a blow out bar. I guess makeup alone wasn't paying the bills. Amusing that out of everything the Manzos talk about with Cafface they never seem to mention that Lauren doesn't run it only by herself, though she certainly acts like she does.

 

http://www.yelp.com/biz/cafface-beauty-bar-franklin-lakes

[turbogirlnyc]

Is there a story behind the name of the business? Just curious.

[demarti]

First Look shows Caroline saying that they are a "family of entrepreneurs". Right. On daddy's dime. 

I guess we are to assume that Cafface is a big fail and Lauren is grasping trying to re-name the business and do an entire remodel as one last ditch attempt to stay relevent without actually having to go out, get a real job and work for someone else. Seeing the opportunities these kids have been given in life and they blow it every time makes me sick. This is why I hate them all. 

[iwasish]

How about Al telling Caroline she needs to get some more sauce recipes ready for production. She's cooking up a quart or two in the kitchen and despite being an experienced cook needs Crittofer to tell her the missing ingredient is "fresh basil"  Lo and behold...perfection!! I'm sure its flying off  shelves everywhere!!.

 

They all copy Tre.. hate her or love her but they all envy her successes. 

[quinn]

I don't see anyone as copying Teresa or envying her success. IIRC the Manzos have been doing the bottled sauce for quite some time under The Brownstone name. I don't know if the sauce that is being talked about on recent episodes is going to be part of the Brownstone line or a different brand.

I don't like how Caroline targeted Teresa. To justify her harshness towards Teresa, Caroline made it seem like Teresa committed numerous egregious acts against her like Teresa writing scathing blogs about Caroline when she had not, but then my memory gets jogged about the Punta Cana incident which would explain Caroline's hate but I still don't give Caroline a pass for not just disassociating herself from Teresa rather than manufacturing or amplifying other reasons to be mad at and therefore critical of and antagonistic towards Teresa.

Anyhoo back to envying and copying Teresa, IIRC after the first season most of the NJ Housewives were approached about business ventures. Teresa jumped in, got her venture up and running and it was a success, good for her. I think that Teresa is driven and has a strong work ethic, but at the same time I wonder if some of her drive and hustle were also driven by desperation given that within a short time after moving out of the house with the linoleum floor into the marble and onyx mansion, the Giudices declared bankruptcy, and then not long after that, their legal troubles started.

I can certainly believe that on a given day, or surrounding a certain incident, like Teresa making the New York Times Best Sellers list, that there was envy of Teresa, but I don't buy that envying Teresa was an ongoing feeling towards her.

[meeeeech]

What would the central storyline even be if Brittany wasn't there? This fambly is beyond boring. No one cares about Little Town, BLK, or Brownstone sauce. Botox in the armpits? Renovating Cafface? Manzoids working out? This show is a mess.

[StevieRocks]

The only way Albie is going to set the world on fire is with gasoline and a lighter.  He seems like a relatively decent guy, but with a parent that expects him to be extraordinary, nothing ordinary will do.  

Exactly. Albie is nothing special. And as far as this pipe dream of any of these silly apes marrying a "child of privilege," I don't think any such child would give these losers the time of day. I think of this nitwit "fambly" as solidly middle class--and not EVEN UPPER middle class; furthermore, their values are of a very low social status. I know that Albie was able to eke out a college degree, but overall, they are uneducated, uncultured, and vulgar. "Children of privilege" equate you and your morons to Honey Boo Boo and clan, Caroline . Talk about delusional.

Edited October 26, 2014 by StevieRocks

[Iguessnot]

Something about a combination of cafe and face. I think the original concept included a food bar. I don't know if that was ever introduced.

[iwasish]

Something about a combination of cafe and face. I think the original concept included a food bar. I don't know if that was ever introduced.

Food and makeup. Lauren's two fave things.

I think it was going to like pastries and coffee type thing, while you shop for makeup or get made up. The place had really weird hours of business and also did some internet sales of clothing and accessories. I'm sure it was a complete tax write off as a failure.

[JerseyGirl]

Cafface Beauty Bar tour:  http://ashleeholmes.buzznet.com/user/journal/17282151/buzznet-exclusive-lauren-manzo-gives/

Edited October 25, 2014 by JerseyGirl

[iwasish]

Cafface Beauty Bar tour:  http://ashleeholmes.buzznet.com/user/journal/17282151/buzznet-exclusive-lauren-manzo-gives/

Damn, looking at Ashlee's picture, she's had lots of work done. Girl looks way older than 23 though.

[nyxy]

Numbers have been steadily dropping. Only about a million this past week, even though RHONJ to whose tailcoat it was tacked on, saw a season high of 2.4 million

 

from realitytea.com

http://www.realitytea.com/2014/10/24/reality-tv-viewer-numbers-below-deck-real-housewives-new-jersey-love-hip-hop-hollywood-my-five-wives/
 

 

Manzo’d With Children

10/5 – 1.717
10/5 – 1.568
10/12 – 1.340
10/19 – 1.047

 

Edited October 28, 2014 by nyxy

[The Ascension]

Al Manzo saying their parenting was almost perfect was nauseating. 

 

Why don't they ever bring up Christopher not dating anyone? It's so sad (but probably a win for him) that they have totally given up on him and pin all their hopes and dreams on Prince Albie. I love his "Previously on..." and when Al grabbed Caroline's boobs (yuck) he yelled "THIS IS A HOME!!"

[The Mighty Peanut]

Caroline talks such a big game about being drama free this and that but IMO she's always ready for her close-up. Like this preview with the one-sided heart to heart in the boxing ring. Obviously production wants to emphasize Albie's quest for love and family disapproval as a storyline, but I get the distinct impression that this Rocky Balboa mentor bullshit is all her.

Also, they were rerunning an episode earlier today and I think I heard Lauren tell Brittany she had pretty eyes so she "at least had one thing going for her. " Did I get that right!? I cannot imagine being that nasty.

Edited October 26, 2014 by The Mighty Peanut

[demarti]

Also, they were rerunning an episode earlier today and I think I heard Lauren tell Brittany she had pretty eyes so she "at least had one thing going for her. " Did I get that right!? I cannot imagine being that nasty.

Yes, you got that right.  And Albie and Mommy just sat there not saying a word, letting her get away with what ever spews out of her mouth. Somebody needs to shut that bitch down. 

[turbogirlnyc]

Damn, looking at Ashlee's picture, she's had lots of work done. Girl looks way older than 23 though.

 

I would've never guessed it was Jaq's Ashlee if I hadn't read the bit about cousin Lauren also featured on RHONJ. She's had tons of work done!

[Giselle]

I think ebola news updates are more entertaining judging from the posts of those who watch.

[fliptopbox]

Personally I don't find it that weird Chris isn't seen dating anyone. I am sure he does, but many folks go through dry spells (whether it's intentional or not). I can't imagine the filming for this mess took all that much of their time...so I am sure has much more of a life than this stupid show would lead us to believe. Also with all the extra emphasis on Albie as numero uno nobody in the family may even care if Chris has a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. He's mostly there for comic relief.

[ginger90]

That video was awful. Lauren came across as if she were about 10 years old (or younger). She has such an immature way of speaking, and all of the ummms, goodness. She actually states she doesn't know how to say the name of a supplier? Oh my. I love how she had to throw mommy and daddy in there, at least she was honest, lol! Mentioning how much a fixture cost and how she wanted to use cheap tile was a bit much though.

[sleekandchic]

What would the central storyline even be if Brittany wasn't there? This fambly is beyond boring. No one cares about Little Town, BLK, or Brownstone sauce. Botox in the armpits? Renovating Cafface? Manzoids working out? This show is a mess.

I think the key to success is to combine the Brownstone sauce with BLK water. With a touch of Botox. And fresh Basil! "B to the Fourth?" "Black and Brown -- it only sounds like poop!"

Albie looks too worn out and dissipated to be 28. He needs to move to California or The UK or Hong Kong.

[LilaFowler]

Lauren seems like the type to never show up for work unless she feels like it and couldn't really care less about anything until it all goes to hell.  Then she starts yelling.  Rolled my eyes at Don Caroline informing her that yelling at people is not the best way to get your point across, yet that's all she does with her own kids. 

 

"She looks good... for a stripper."  Spoken by the ugly, middle-aged greaseball who would have to spend a couple hundred bucks to get a girl who looks like that to pay attention to him.  Seriously, who are these petty, insecure, judgmental assholes?  Ani DiFranco was right:  everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room.  Except with beastlike mouthbreathers, the hatred isn't so secret.

[Watermelon]

I have found the key to making Lauren palatable.  Sit her with  Chris and let them both be silly and make inappropriate jokes. They were cute together.

[LilaFowler]

From the second episode tonight (10/26):  Don Caroline quickly offered Lauren to the guy for marrying into his family for the BBQ recipe, even though Lauren is the only one in a serious, committed relationship.  She really doesn't give a shit about her, does she?  She'd never sacrifice her beloved Albie or Crittopher.

[BostonBlonde]

From the second episode tonight (10/26):  Don Caroline quickly offered Lauren to the guy for marrying into his family for the BBQ recipe, even though Lauren is the only one in a serious, committed relationship.  She really doesn't give a shit about her, does she?  She'd never sacrifice her beloved Albie or Crittopher.

Clearly, it was in jest.

It's the season finale next week? Already? All these NJ shows get shorter & shorter lives...

Edited October 27, 2014 by BostonBlonde

[LilaFowler]

Clearly, it was in jest.

Gee, was it?  I thought she was serious.  /sarcasm  RME.

[parrotlover]

I only watched a few minutes of tonight's episode switching back and forth to football but when Lauren was begrudgingly thanking everyone who helped her with the relaunch or grand opening or whatever the frick it was and then fake crying, she told Caroline "thanks cash cow". Caroline laughed. I can't even fathom saying that to a parent. Even jokingly. But I know they raised perfect kids so I guess it's me.

Next week a road trip episode with the whole family. Can't wait for the hilarity.

Edited October 27, 2014 by parrotlover

[Persnickety1]

Gee, was it?  I thought she was serious.  /sarcasm  RME.

 

LOL...lovin' your screen name, JacqaLoonLaurita!!!

 

I'm getting ready to end work for the night and watch this shitstorm for the much-needed snark release.  

 

I do hope this show is doing dismally in the ratings and Andy puts it (and us) out of our respective misery.

[turbogirlnyc]

I only watched a few minutes of tonight's episode switching back and forth to football but when Lauren was begrudgingly thanking everyone who helped her with the relaunch or grand opening or whatever the frick it was and then fake crying, she told Caroline "thanks cash cow". Caroline laughed. I can't even fathom saying that to a parent. Even jokingly. But I know they raised perfect kids so I guess it's me.

Next week a road trip episode with the whole family. Can't wait for the hilarity.

 

Omg, I think my jaw dropped when Lauren referred to Caro as "cash cow".  Wow, just wow. Maybe it's an inside/fambily joke?

[raiderred1]

Oh hell they came to my home state!! I can assure you NO ONE and I mean NO ONE gave her their fambly BBQ recipe. And Lauren those boots that they were wearing at the "honky tonk"(I can't believe I just type that) were not the real deal cowboy boots that REAL cowboys and cowgirls wear. I think they needed to throw in a few more Texas cliches. I rolled my eyes so much I got a headache.

[turbogirlnyc]

Oh hell they came to my home state!! I can assure you NO ONE and I mean NO ONE gave her their fambly BBQ recipe. And Lauren those boots that they were wearing at the "honky tonk"(I can't believe I just type that) were not the real deal cowboy boots that REAL cowboys and cowgirls wear. I think they needed to throw in a few more Texas cliches. I rolled my eyes so much I got a headache.

 

I've never lived in Texas but I did live in Hoboken, NJ for several years. Even I was cringing at their Texas stereotyping. I guess the Manzo's wanted to amp up their Jersey-ness or East Coast cred. Too bad because it made them come across as morons.

Edited October 27, 2014 by turbogirlnyc

[meeeeech]

I think they accidentally ran the Texas episode after the rerun of tonight's episode. Oops. And I didn't even change the channel...double oops.

I used to really like this family in season one of RHONJ. The contrast between them and everyone else made them seem so goofy and lighthearted. When it's a solo act though there really is no substance to hold them up. Besides Albie being emasculated by his overbearing Mom and possibly being teased for having depression or anxiety (didn't Lauren mention his "brain problems" to Chris's uncontrollable laughter) and Lauren constant preoccupation with her weight makes it a little hard to watch.

[iwasish]

Personally I don't find it that weird Chris isn't seen dating anyone. I am sure he does, but many folks go through dry spells (whether it's intentional or not). I can't imagine the filming for this mess took all that much of their time...so I am sure has much more of a life than this stupid show would lead us to believe. Also with all the extra emphasis on Albie as numero uno nobody in the family may even care if Chris has a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. He's mostly there for comic relief.

Actually Chris told Albie that he wasn't dumb enough to bring anyone he dated home to "meet the family", not after seeing what Albie goes thru. Of course that's a convenient way of hiding the fact that he can't get a date. But IMO, Chris, won't give a shit what the others think and therefore they won't say much. Albie is putting too much value on comments that his mom and Lauren make. By letting them know their comments affect him, he gives them power.  If mommy doesn't like her tell her that's okay you aren't the one who fucks her. Same with Lauren. And then don't be bringing anyone home for a while, find somewhere other than mommy's deck to hang out.

[Ubiquitous]

Thank you. Al pontificating on his parenting skills and achievements made me nauseous. This is the same Al who couldn't be bothered to drive the 5-10 miles home nightly and spent the bulk of his children's childhoods in an apartment over the Brownstone.

I can't blame him for not wanting to be there.

[iwasish]

I can't blame him for not wanting to be there.

I can't blame him either, but then he shouldn't take credit for how "perfect" they turned out. I'd put that completely on Caroline's shoulders.

[zoeysmom]

I have watched the episodes and really wanted the show to be a success apart from RHONJ.  It is just a dud.  Last night I watched this family with serious weight and eating issues take a road trip to Texas to eat huge plates of food-the last thing these people should be doing.  I respect the fact they want to produce food products and run restaurants I just found it silly that NJ Caroline went to Texas to develop her BBQ sauce.  Should she have a good sauce before deciding to produce it?  Otherwise buy the recipe and slap her mug on the label.  That is what worked for Teresa she had a writer, write a cookbook with anecdotes and insults about her cast members.  As soon as her cast members bitched about being exploited and Teresa stopped using them, Teresa sales fell off.  Well that and the idea that Teresa knew anything about grilling.

 

This is one time I think Bravo should not have done a spin-off.  Caroline and her family were much better on RHONJ-their comments about the others was at times amusing.  I do think Al and Caroline are dear parents for supporting their children's business endeavors.  At this point though I think Christopher (and perhaps Vito) should be making his way back to the Brownstone and getting ready for his dad's inevitable retirement.   Caroline should not name businesses-the worst name ever Cafface.

 

What bothered me the most is I just didn't buy the premise that the sons moved home to save money, especially after reading numerous media accounts they have never given up the apartment in Hoboken.

 

Thanks @nyxy for putting up the ratings- I think Bravo's keep it or dump it number is 1 million viewers.  Sadly, I think this show only made the breakpoint because of scheduling.  Had they been on a Monday or a Tuesday night I think it would have been cancelled.

[Marigold]

There is too much bickering, arguing and comments flying between the kids. Particularly Lauren.  She is the girl in high school that everyone hated because she was just such a bitch.  No one wants to see 30 minutes of that. 

[EtheltoTillie]

So the world is breathlessly awaiting the arrival of Texas barbecue sauce from Marvelous Manzos?  There aren't enough barbecue sauces on any supermarket shelf, so this one produced by Jersey Italians is a surefire winner. 

[turbogirlnyc]

So the world is breathlessly awaiting the arrival of Texas barbecue sauce from Marvelous Manzos?  There aren't enough barbecue sauces on any supermarket shelf, so this one produced by Jersey Italians is a surefire winner. 

 

And somehow I doubt Caroline was able to get those secret sauce recipes in Texas regardless of her claims.

[raiderred1]

 

So the world is breathlessly awaiting the arrival of Texas barbecue sauce from Marvelous Manzos?  There aren't enough barbecue sauces on any supermarket shelf, so this one produced by Jersey Italians is a surefire winner.

Ain't it the truth!  It's extremely hard to replicate an old Texas family bbq recipe.  The Salt Lick has really good bbq and when anyone visits Texas they should definitely find the best BBQ in town and give it a try.  We don't eat it a lot but it is a great treat every once in a while.  One of our favorites, when we are in town, is the Hard Eight in Stephenville, TX.

[raiderred1]

BTW, Terry, the waitress at the Broken Spoke, she was laying on the Texas accent a bit too thick. Made me totally cringe.  Different parts of the state have stronger accents than others and the smaller the town the stronger the accent.  I grew up in a very small town in North Texas and my accent was very strong when I was younger but I don't think it's very strong anymore.  When I get around my west Texas friends from college it seems to get kind of thick. I live in east Texas now and holy cow they are really twangy here.

[Giselle]

Next week a road trip episode with the whole family. Can't wait for the hilarity.

 

It will be if they drive off a cliff.

[ethalfrida]

There is too much bickering, arguing and comments flying between the kids. Particularly Lauren.  She is the girl in high school that everyone hated because she was just such a bitch.  No one wants to see 30 minutes of that. 

I agree. I'll just be checking in here for the snark. The only thing worth seeing is Christopher's behind the couch walk.

[hottesthw]

I agree. I'll just be checking in here for the snark. The only thing worth seeing is Christopher's behind the couch walk.

This show sucks. But i would tune in for a Peoples Couch type of show featuring Christopher & Juicy Joe, with the occasional guest appearance of Rosie (but only if they're all drunk).

Edited October 28, 2014 by hottesthw

[Persnickety1]

BTW, Terry, the waitress at the Broken Spoke, she was laying on the Texas accent a bit too thick. Made me totally cringe.  Different parts of the state have stronger accents than others and the smaller the town the stronger the accent.  I grew up in a very small town in North Texas and my accent was very strong when I was younger but I don't think it's very strong anymore.  When I get around my west Texas friends from college it seems to get kind of thick. I live in east Texas now and holy cow they are really twangy here.

 

My dad was born and raised in a very tiny town in east Texas.  Hell, I can talk to my east Texas relatives on the phone for 20 minutes and it takes the rest of the day for me to lose my acquired "accent."  It's infectious, lol.

 

 

It will be if they drive off a cliff.

 

I love you.

[JerseyGirl]

Lauren is truly a bitch.  The family woke up and in the kitchen she says they work better when things are done last minute. Ok, figure everything would be good.  No.  Lauren shows up at Cafface with the rest of her family, while people are running around trying to get the store ready - even Vito was there.  And all she did all day was point at stuff that hadn't been done and screamed for people to fix it.  WHAT A BITCH!!!  As soon as the camera's stop rolling I wonder if her "employees"  will high tail it out of there.  I can only imagine what she's like as a boss during the workday.  Entitled princess.  I hope the venture fails, you witch.

[The Solution]

I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but I'm done with this show. I can't with these supremely miserable unhappy dysfunctional people anymore. The rest of youse will have to let me know when they finally air the very special episode with the Manzos and Dr. Kevorkian. That I want to see. Until then, not so much.

[Giselle]

The reasons it's on TV are:

 

1: Caroline is angling for a Bravo Wedding for The One Born Without a Penis. She loves sucking on "Bravo Andy's" nipple and it's one way of getting that wildebeast bitch out of her home and hoist it off onto a family with a deli shop to keep it fed.

 

2. Andy is desperate for a threesome with Greg and Albie, but Albie is still pretending to like girls not realizing mommy would love him even more if he was more like Greg and Andy. Caroline doesn't like females, they are only sperm receptacles to hatch baby boys.

Edited October 28, 2014 by Giselle

[raiderred1]

 

My dad was born and raised in a very tiny town in east Texas.  Hell, I can talk to my east Texas relatives on the phone for 20 minutes and it takes the rest of the day for me to lose my acquired "accent."  It's infectious, lol.

Persnickety, that is sooo true.  I had a teacher in junior high that was from Cajun country(Louisiana) and when he would go visit family he always came back with that c***-ass accent.  Where was your dad raised in east Texas?  I'll understand if you want to PM me.  We don't live in far east Texas just about 60 east of Dallas and farther you go towards LA the stronger that twang becomes.  I do think that all small towns across the country usually have strong local accents from that region.

[fliptopbox]

I'm almost ashamed to say I bought a bottle of blk water about a month ago. It sat in my fridge until just tonight when I finally decided to drink it. Honestly, it's not bad. I am not usually a water drinker so the blackness kind of fools me into thinking it's something else. Granted I wouldn't buy it often, but it was worth the $2 I paid to try it out. Though I can see how black water could be off-putting to people....but it really doesn't taste any different than Fiji, or even Deer Park. It's just water.

 

So...go Manzo sons! I guess..

[raiderred1]

Thank you so much fliptopbox for taking one for the team! The "black" water may taste just fine but most folks could not get past the, um, blackness. I could see having a few in the fridge and trying to just coax people into tasting it much less picking it out btween that and any other color of water.

This family is really awful with any aspect of business, ie; Cafface, blk, BBQ sauce...