S03.E12: Reunion

[Door County Cherry]

TBD

[NeenerNeener]

Well, that was a surprise...SK and Raven are dating and Matt & Colleen are still married but still have separate apartments for "reasons".

Edited November 9, 2022 by NeenerNeener

[wait.what]

Cole IS a jerk, but the cutie oranges? Ummm, that didn’t seem offensive to me. 

[NeenerNeener]

2 hours ago, wait.what said:

that didn’t seem offensive to me. 

Yes and no....it was just 2 tiny oranges, so why would that spoil her dinner? And if there was a pattern of him commenting when she ate anything she may have gotten to the point of really resenting it.

[Snapdragon]

So I'm halfway through this reunion and it doesn't seem like they're going to confront Matt on his anger issues.  Like, for real?  I was actually scared for Colleen physically that first time he exploded (which is not something I think I've ever felt while watching a reality dating show, ever) and if they don't bring up how abusive he was being, that's just some BS.  

Edit: Okay, just finished it.  Was it me or did Colleen look scared/uncomfortable any time Matt talked?  It was weird.  The two of them didn't really make eye contact the entire time and while Matt had his arm around Colleen, she wasn't leaning into him or anything.  Maybe she was just uncomfortable because the reunion is kind of an awkward situation, but she looked like she was being held hostage.  

Edited November 9, 2022 by Snapdragon

[Snapdragon]

3 hours ago, wait.what said:

Cole IS a jerk, but the cutie oranges? Ummm, that didn’t seem offensive to me. 

Yeah, I just got done watching that scene and honestly, the person who looks bad in it is Zanab, not Cole.  Cole is cheerfully suggesting that they go have a wedding reception overseas with Zanab's extended family and she's just being ridiculously negative about the idea.  And he was only suggesting that she not eat so much since they were about to go out for a huge dinner.  Unless Cole did something earlier that they didn't show, there was no reason for Zanab to be in such a foul mood.  

I don't know.  Zanab should have broken up with Cole when he first made the comment about her only being a 9 while other women there were a 10 because she obviously never got over the comment and he never realized just how hurtful a thing that was to say.

Edited November 9, 2022 by Snapdragon

[Ms Blue Jay]

I was wrong:

I am willing to admit that I'm wrong but I'm so shocked and I still don't know what to believe.  LOL.  I was totally wrong about Raven's feelings for SK.  I am still reeling and reeling and reeling to be honest.

I was right (I think):

I was right about thinking that both Alexa and Brennan and both Colleen and Matt seemed to unreservedly love each other from the jump and Alexa and Brennan at least never seemed to have any doubt.  Other people definitely made me doubt Colleen and Matt about halfway through the season though.  I never really looked at Matt negatively but then other people's thoughts really got into my head.  I don't know?  She still seems really cool though and the other women seem to love her.

I have no idea:

What the fuck was going on with Cole and Zanaib.  I don't think we'll ever really truly know.  I think Z might have been reading into some stuff.  Regardless.... they are so not meant for each other and that is clear.  I love that the show was so transparent and honest about all of this, having all the women speak openly about what positive editing they feel that Cole got and how they felt like it was unfair.  I love that the show showed the orange clips after Cole said "Show it".  Wow, that was a lot.  That whole segment made me think this season was truly amazing.  LOL.  It was so fucking real.  I'm not saying I necessarily believe the women's side, just that I'm glad the show had the gall to show all of it.  That was awesome.

Edited November 9, 2022 by Ms Blue Jay

[LakeGal]

Nick Lachay just turned 49 the other day.  I did laugh at the eye drops he was using.  I am surprised Andrew had been invited to the reunion.  

We will never know for sure what went on between Cole and Zanab.  But I have a hard time siding with Zanab.  She appears to be the type that sees things her way and then tells her friends her side and they all agree with her.  The other women and Brennon seemed to just hate Cole.  They were all going on what Zanab had told them about Cole.  But it did not appear any of them actually saw or heard him say the things Zanab was saying.  Zanab appeared to take everything Cole said or did as an insult towards her.  She repeated this to others to show them how she was being treated wrongly.  Cole seemed completely blindsided.  Zanab kept repeating she did not hate Cole and had forgiven him.  Yet she continued to get in her digs.  I do not like her.  My opinion of Zanab went down as the season went on.   

[Neeners]

I watched that last scene just waiting for something...else. I dunno. From what they showed it didn't seem to me like he was body shaming her at all and he even seemed surprised she only had a banana for breakfast and asked why she didn't eat any poke he offered her.

I don't like Cole. He's immature. But I think Z also has some self esteem issues and I'm not convinced they are all because of Cole. 

[Zuleikha]

The Cole segments of the reunion were hard to watch. I know we all filter through our own lens, but it's hard for me to understand how anyone could watch through the Cuties scene and think Zanab's version of events is at all related to reality. I hope the other women take some time to really reflect on what they actually know about Cole versus what they only think is true because Zanab told them it was true. I also note that although Raven scolded Cole for not taking accountability (for not reaching out to Zanab after she trashed him at the altar!), they let Zanab skate by without ever acknowledging or taking responsibility for her role in the relationship's failures.

I thought Zanab was pretty cruel in the wedding episode, but I thought it was careless cruelty. Watching her in the reunion makes me wonder if she's actually malevolent. The discrepancy between what she said happened in the Cuties scene and what really happened is just on the side of where Zanab could be unaware of how much her own issues are filtering her beliefs about what happened.

But she was clearly trashing him to the other women frequently, and that seems more intentional alienation. Also, the bachelor party claim does seem to be completely made up. All of the men supported Cole's claim that there were no women present at the rodeo or saloon, and none of them backed up Zanab's claim that there was a post-saloon hangout. 

Matt and Colleen actually seemed okay. Colleen was clearly nervous and sensitive about negative responses to her show portrayal, but she and Matt seemed to have loving body language. I think it's also a good sign that they're waiting out their leases. 

I was on Bartise's side about the blonde woman. Nancy very clearly broke up with him on the wedding day. Rebounds are a thing for a reason. There's no contradiction between him loving Nancy and having been interested/hopeful in continuing to date but then having a rebound fling when Nancy explicitly closed that door. I also don't see any difference between how Bartise handled the marriage rejection and how SK did, but SK didn't get dragged for it simply because Raven responded better.

[Ms Blue Jay]

30 minutes ago, Zuleikha said:

The Cole segments of the reunion were hard to watch. I know we all filter through our own lens, but it's hard for me to understand how anyone could watch through the Cuties scene and think Zanab's version of events is at all related to reality. I hope the other women take some time to really reflect on what they actually know about Cole versus what they only think is true because Zanab told them it was true. I also note that although Raven scolded Cole for not taking accountability (for not reaching out to Zanab after she trashed him at the altar!), they let Zanab skate by without ever acknowledging or taking responsibility for her role in the relationship's failures.

So true.  It was so one-sided, "You Go Girl" Girl power stuff without any nuance at all.  Of course some of us are going to be questioning it.  

[Miss Slay]

I wish all the couples and non couples good luck.

The reunion was odd

Edited November 9, 2022 by Miss Slay

[DearEvette]

This episode annoyed me and just crystallized my feelings that this season was a shit show.  I didn't even come away with my former great feelings about Alexa and Brennon because they both were kinda assy and even more smug here.

On the upside good for Raven and SK.  I must say she looked pretty smokin' in that dress. And this is the most I've liked SK.  He was funny!  I wish we had seen some of that side of him before.

But Colleen -- man, I tried to interpret her  face.  She just looked so uncomfortable and unhappy in places.  I know she was pribably dreading the conversation about Cole and didn't want to relive the pool party scene with everyone watching, so that is understandable.  But there were times the camera went to her face and she just not easy in her skin.  I dunno maybe it was because she just wasn't 100% on board with rehashing everything.

I can't believe they gave Matt a pass.  Sure, jump on Cole for using the term "that's crazy" but Matt biting out "say it, Say it, SAY IT." gets crickets?

Nancy and Bartise are still just as tragic as ever.  Also I can't stand Bartise, but really?  Finger wagging and judging him for rebounding with some girl after he and Nancy broke up?  So what?  Also STFU Alexa.  Not your business.  Geez, I can't believe I agreed with Bartise!

I feel like  Zanab wanted her and Cole to be Shake and Deepti 2.0 during this reunion with everyone doing the 'You go, girl" pumping her up and hating on him.  But if that is the case, it completely backfired with me.  And I wish the women who were so busy backing her had even once used an example of something they witnessed themselves.  As it was they gave examples of things she told them and frankly I  find her a to be a somewhat unreliable narrator. 

I am glad we saw the cuties clip to give an example of what I am talking about.  She flat out said he was controlling about what she ate, like he shamed her into eating just a banana and peanut butter, but the clip did not bear any of that out.  I was waiting and waiting for  him to say something really damaging so I least feel better about them dragging him and feel he really deserved it.  But Jesus it was the most nothing thing.  If we had simply gotten that clip with no context, I am certain no one would have even picked up on him mentioning her eating the oranges.  Everyone would have thought it was just about him being excited to have  reception with her family.

The whole thing was just uncomfortable to watch and actually made me come away from it feeling even less in sympathy with Zanab.

I will say I loved SK low key shading Matt: “I don’t feel insecure about another guy hitting my girl."  Heh.

So yeah, this whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth.  Who would have thunk that by the end I liked Raven the best out of all the girls and didn't outright dislike  Cole? 

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, Zuleikha said:

The Cole segments of the reunion were hard to watch.

Colleen was visibly uncomfortable when they started in with all that She actually looked pretty miserable the whole show.

There were some hair choices. Nancy, girl, NO. (Hair and makeup.) She looked 10 years older. Bartise, no. I didn’t even recognize Raven. She didn’t look bad, just really different. Zanab looks better with her hair dark. It also always trips me out when women dress for these reunions like they’re competing in a beauty pageant.

I loved what SK said about being in a group of guys and it being okay to talk about feelings.

1 hour ago, Zuleikha said:

I thought Zanab was pretty cruel in the wedding episode, but I thought it was careless cruelty. Watching her in the reunion makes me wonder if she's actually malevolent.

I thought Zanab was deliberate in her cruelty in the wedding. She said she didn’t know what she was going to do, but that speech was prepared - she read it. She said it at the altar for maximum impact. I agreed with Cole when he said she did that because she knew it would hurt the most. 

5 hours ago, Snapdragon said:

Yeah, I just got done watching that scene and honestly, the person who looks bad in it is Zanab, not Cole

I felt that way about the montage of her nagging him about cooking and cleaning. She looked like an asshole. And the Cuties thing, she looks bad there too. He’s talking enthusiastically about how to incorporate her extended family into their wedding and she’s sullen (she said something about him talking too much?). She gets the Cuties and he tells her to save her appetite because they’re going out to dinner. That indicates that he thinks they’re both going to eat heartily at this dinner out, not that he thinks she shouldn’t eat at dinner. He clearly thinks she’s eaten amply through the day because he’s surprised and sounds concerned that she’s only eaten a banana. She passive-aggressively says she could tell him why that’s all she’s eaten but she won’t, and he thinks she’s getting into wedding shape (my best friend lost a bunch of weight before her wedding, on purpose), and doesn’t seem like he thinks she NEEDS to get into wedding shape - he thinks it’s something she’s doing for herself. He didn’t do anything wrong there.

The bachelor party thing was just weird. I was with him when he was like “we were at a rodeo and y’all had dicks in your faces,” and the other guys said there were no women present. And I also agreed with Cole when he wondered why he would or should reach out to Zanab. They broke up! She read a whole speech about how bad a guy he is! If he’s that bad for and to her, the kindest thing for him to do is stay away. It sounds like the women wanted him to reach out to her to grovel, and like … for what? 

1 hour ago, Zuleikha said:

I was on Bartise's side about the blonde woman. Nancy very clearly broke up with him on the wedding day. Rebounds are a thing for a reason. There's no contradiction between him loving Nancy and having been interested/hopeful in continuing to date but then having a rebound fling when Nancy explicitly closed that door.

It’s like Ross and Rachel from Friends, kind of. Ross didn’t cheat, but in Rachel’s shoes I’d be stung too - you’re so in love with me and the same DAY we take a break you’re on top of somebody else? Ouch. That’s what she was reacting to, that hurt. But that’s not cheating. Here, in Nancy’s shoes I’d be hurt too, but Bartise didn’t do anything wrong. Nancy very clearly ended it;  Bartise is single. It stings Nancy that Bartise isn’t grieving the relationship in the way she thinks he should but for one, she was always more invested than he was, and two, she doesn’t get a say in how he grieves.

You can tell Vanessa has been rich for a long time. Matt and Colleen would have had to buy out their leases to break them and they can’t afford to. (She lived in my best friend’s apartment building for a bit, but that was years ago.) That’s why they’re keeping both places. Makes sense to me. One of my best friends met her husband when they lived in the same building and they kept both apartments for a while (they’ve since bought a place together).

Bartise and Matt got off easier than they should have. Cole was made out to be The Villain, but Matt and Bartise were problematic too. They didn’t address Matt’s temper at all.

[nomodrama]

6 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

This episode annoyed me and just crystallized my feelings that this season was a shit show.  I didn't even come away with my former great feelings about Alexa and Brennon because they both were kinda assy and even more smug here.

Yeah first time I did not like Brennon, his constant interjecting about Cole was just immature and stupid. 

ZERO talk about Matt's psychotic behavior but Cole gets absolutely ripped apart. 

I am starting to see why Cole might have thought that Zanab was bipolar.....I think there is definitely something there. It make me so sad to have to say this as a woman but she needs help. I am glad to see these women sticking together but the way they ganged up on Cole was awful. Here is why I don't believe Zanabs side of things, and why I cannot stand Vanessa Lachey and her "He did that?" BS reactions. There is no way that they showed all of Matt's crazy behavior but intentionally held back all of the footage Zanab claims there is of Cole being a horrible horrible person. That sounds incredibly unlikely. That cuties conversation was eye opening on how much of an unreliable narrator Zanab is. 

Side note....did Zanab purposely say Mum instead of Mom all the time just to drive home that said "Mum" is British? I am not criticizing, she just did it a lot, and I'm curious. 

Sk and Raven were my favorites in the end, so happy for them. 

Bartise is still awful and not as hot as he thinks. Nancy deserves someone who truly loves her, but her look tonight was not doing her any favors. 

Colleen blink twice if you are being held hostage!

[Empress1]

7 minutes ago, nomodrama said:

I am glad to see these women sticking together but the way they ganged up on Cole was awful.

I wasn’t glad to see the women sticking together because they were … pretty nasty, and it seemed like they blindly believed Zanab when she trashed him regularly to them, which … why was she doing that? That was her fiancé. Cole was right - she didn’t like him. All the women’s examples of Cole’s bad acts were things Zanab told them he did, not things they saw him do.

[Zuleikha]

18 minutes ago, nomodrama said:

I am starting to see why Cole might have thought that Zanab was bipolar.....I think there is definitely something there.

Cole clearly does not spend as much time in women's focused sites as I do, or he would have armchair diagnosed her as borderline rather than bipolar.

I think that moment versus how we saw Zanab present it to Alexa is also a good example of how the other women don't know nearly as much about Cole/Zanab's interactions as they think they do. Zanab made it sound like an out-of-the-blue insult whereas the reality was Cole made a snarky defensive comment in the middle of an argument, and it was very much about him trying to get Zanab to acknowledge how her repeated put-downs were affecting him.

20 minutes ago, nomodrama said:

Side note....did Zanab purposely say Mum instead of Mom all the time just to drive home that said "Mum" is British?

Probably not. I don't know if the show said when Zanab's family moved from the UK, but I think it was around middle school. Since Zanab's mom is English, there would be no reason for Zanab to ever switch from "mum" to "mom".

[nomodrama]

5 minutes ago, Zuleikha said:

Probably not. I don't know if the show said when Zanab's family moved from the UK, but I think it was around middle school. Since Zanab's mom is English, there would be no reason for Zanab to ever switch from "mum" to "mom".

Spanish was my first language growing up, I refer to my mother as "mama" but if I'm in a conversation with someone about mothers and they are using the word "mom", I don't correct to "mama" I'll just say "mom".  It sounded a bit forced and overly emphasized at times, I wondered if it was genuinely a UK thing. 

[DragonFire]

Zanab!!!

Wow no wonder she is still single at that age, she comes off completely hash and mean. I feel she purposely is throwing him under the bus to make up for her own insecurities, her constant nagging on him and his free spirited personality that she feel in love with. He was saying in the halo orange scene at the end of the show that they were going to a huge dinner. I don't feel he was coming across negative in the aspect of wanting her to save her appetite for a huge portioned meal. Also with the bashing him at their wedding she has her whole group applauding after belittling  him. That is wrong on so many levels and the fact that she tried to lie like it wasn't planned even though the whole side had a standing ovation. That is completely wrong on so many levels... IMO 

[Empress1]

6 minutes ago, DragonFire said:

I don't feel he was coming across negative in the aspect of wanting her to save her appetite for a huge portioned meal. 

He also offered her a poke bowl when he realized she hadn’t eaten, which she declined. If that’s her hard evidence that he was encouraging her to heavily restrict her eating, it fails. She may well have thought she needed to be thinner but it seems like that was a her thing, not a him thing.

[Mercolleen]

Zanab is a gaslighting nagging liar with self-esteem issues. 

[Jack Sampson]

I don't believe for a second that Z was "fighting" for the marriage all the way to the altar.  That wasn't improv, she was delivering a speech...one that was probably prepared far enough in advance that her friends were in on it.  Cole deserves some hits but the vast majority of the hate came from her lies/embellishments/misrememberings.

[noluvnoluck]

I felt bad for Cole. 

I'm glad producers showed that extra footage. At first was like "Geez the producers are really trying to hamfist this asshole Cole narrative." But they were trying to throw the poor thing a bone. 

It sounded like he was teasing her for eating so little like "Whoa whoa, two cutsies? Wanna make room for dinner?" I could see if they were two doughnuts or something. Then he seemed concerned that all she ate was a banana and admitted to offering her a pokebowl! Pokebowls are usually served in decent sized portions. If he were trying to control her weight, he would have maybe snarkily commended her for eating right.

I say all that to say, she's bugging. And I hated her using the word ghetto in that context. 

[Irlandesa]

10 hours ago, Snapdragon said:

So I'm halfway through this reunion and it doesn't seem like they're going to confront Matt on his anger issues.  Like, for real?  I was actually scared for Colleen physically that first time he exploded (which is not something I think I've ever felt while watching a reality dating show, ever) and if they don't bring up how abusive he was being, that's just some BS. 

Yeah.  They let him control the narrative.  He said he "got a little bit emotional" when I'd say he "lost his shit."  And therefore, when he said they've had "little fights," I was very skeptical because "little fights" is how he described their first fight in Malibu.  I hated how Colleen took the full responsibility for everything that went wrong.  I hate how Matt was like "Colleen told me everything that happened as it happened when I saw the video."  And it looked like he was hovering over her. 

I wonder if they didn't call him on his anger out of fear for Colleen knowing she'd likely face any blow back.

4 hours ago, Empress1 said:

The bachelor party thing was just weird. I was with him when he was like “we were at a rodeo and y’all had dicks in your faces,” and the other guys said there were no women present.

They did say no women were present at the rodeo/saloon but it was where they went after where things got murky.  The only one who said they didn't go anywhere after the Bachelor Party was Matt and I don't trust Matt. And even he said something like "I got an uber and I don't know"....I thought his answer was vague and the opposite of unequivocal.   Brennan claimed they did but he didn't remember exactly where because he had been drinking.  SK and Bartise were quiet or their response wasn't shown. Zanab claimed it was at this after party when he was approached.

Quote

You can tell Vanessa has been rich for a long time. Matt and Colleen would have had to buy out their leases to break them and they can’t afford to.

One of the invitations for Brennan and Alexa's wedding a few episodes ago had the date of June 30, 2021 on it and they all likely got married around the same time.   So I don't think being curious why they weren't living together yet 15 months after getting married means she's out of touch.  Most leases come up annually so unless Colleen happened to be in an extended lease, they made a deliberate choice to renew their leases after getting married.

3 hours ago, Empress1 said:

He also offered her a poke bowl when he realized she hadn’t eaten, which she declined. If that’s her hard evidence that he was encouraging her to heavily restrict her eating, it fails. She may well have thought she needed to be thinner but it seems like that was a her thing, not a him thing.

I have to say that I'm very very confused by everything that happened between Cole and Zanab.  There's so much he said/she said to extremes. I can't remember ever seeing something quite to that extreme.  It's not even them agreeing that something happened but disagreeing about specifics or intent.  For so much it was "you told me this/I never told you that." Only the cuties moment opened up the possibility of different interpretations. 

And unlike many of you, I don't think seeing that scene cleared up a lot for me.  Here are the takeaways that no one asked for.

As an introvert, Cole's incessant chattering drove me batty.  And I think this is probably at the root of some of their issues.  He doesn't stop talking.  He accused her of not even listening to him half the time but I'm even wondering if even he forgets some of the things he says in the incessant narration of their life.  For instance, I wonder if he was hit on and he told her because he has no filter.  And given their history with Colleen, she hears "I'm a hot commodity" where he's like "I was hit on but I didn't do anything so it doesn't mean anything but it happened so I'm going to tell you because I'm not smart enough to realize that if nothing happened then you don't need to know."

Asking her if she's eating, what she's eating, why she's not eating and then guessing it's to get into wedding dress shape when she didn't offer that up could wear a person down if it happens daily. But I also think Zanab has insecurities that were triggered when he hit on Colleen in Malibu and everything he says goes through that filter. Instead of just seeing an incredibly immature guy who doesn't think about what he says, she's finding deeper meanings. 

But another thing I noticed in that scene is actions.  Zanab went to the fridge and pulled out some peeled fruit.  She started eating it.  Cole walked over and grabbed the fruit and ate it too even though there was a bag of oranges on the counter.   She pulled out a paper towel to put her seeds on.  He throws one of his seeds away.  Puts another on the towel.  And then he throws another onto the counter that Zanab had to pick up and put onto the paper towel. 

So after he eats half her orange, he then asks her if she's going to have another one and to save her appetite.  Does anyone lose their appetite after eating small oranges in the middle of the afternoon hours before dinner? She's not his child.  She's an adult. 

So do I think Cole is as nefarious as Zanab portrayed his actions?  No.  But do I think Cole is an innocent and totally vindicated?  No.

8 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

I also don't see any difference between how Bartise handled the marriage rejection and how SK did, but SK didn't get dragged for it simply because Raven responded better.

I'm guessing because SK and Raven were slower to develop.  Plus, Bartise keeps putting his hesitation on Nancy--her views on abortion, her family...etc.  SK's reasons were more logistical.

[violet and green]

11 minutes ago, Irlandesa said:

One of the invitations for Brennan and Alexa's wedding a few episodes ago had the date of June 30, 2021 on it and they all likely got married around the same time.   So I don't think being curious why they weren't living together yet 15 months after getting married means she's out of touch.  Most leases come up annually so unless Colleen happened to be in an extended lease, they made a deliberate choice to renew their leases after getting married.

I thought they did the reunions a couple of months after the weddings? So, that would have been filmed back in August 21, perhaps?

Regardless, I felt like Nick and Vanessa are out of touch with the reality of ordinary living and paying rent, and particularly out of touch with reality in forcing the issue when Colleen is sitting, next to a rage-filled man, with the look of a hostage who has moved beyond hope of escape...

[Irlandesa]

8 minutes ago, violet and green said:

I thought they did the reunions a couple of months after the weddings? So, that would have been filmed back in August 21, perhaps?

In the previous seasons, they've filmed the reunion while the show is airing on Netflix--usually about a week or two before the final episodes drop. TV Guide claims this was filmed at the end of Oct.

[violet and green]

12 minutes ago, Irlandesa said:

In the previous seasons, they've filmed the reunion while the show is airing on Netflix--usually about a week or two before the final episodes drop. TV Guide claims this was filmed at the end of Oct.

Yeah, I don't know. My head is spinning, to be honest. I just read they've already filmed seasons 4 and 5!

I read that season 2, with Shayne and Natalie, sob, which only seemed to be on ten minutes ago, was filmed just before this one. They finished that and then started filming this straight away, ie. My recollection of that season was they said on it that they were doing the reunion show 2 months after the wedding episodes, so back in 2021, and then some time later they aired the After the Altar trilogy of eps. (Just looked it up, season 2 was aired in February 22 onwards, and the After the Altar this September.) So I expect they will do an After the Alter with this one, also, at some point. But the timing of it all does my head in.

Edit to add: Just to add to the confusion, there are conflicting stories as to when this reunion was filmed:

"According to TV Guide, the Love Is Blind season three reunion special was filmed around two weeks ago, at the end of October. ... It should also be noted that there is some debate surrounding this. Distractify argues that the reunion special was filmed in March, 2022." 

Edited November 10, 2022 by violet and green
adding

[Irlandesa]

11 minutes ago, violet and green said:

was filmed just before this one. They finished that and then started filming this straight away, ie. My recollection of that season was they said on it that they were doing the reunion show 2 months after the wedding episodes, so back in 2021

Season 2 was filmed in the spring/summer of 2021.  They filmed the reunion in Feb. 2022.  The Season 2 cast was active on social media and made posts about going LA to film the reunion so that has some social media confirmation to go with it.  The After The Altar episodes are usually filmed a few months after that. 

31 minutes ago, violet and green said:

"According to TV Guide, the Love Is Blind season three reunion special was filmed around two weeks ago, at the end of October. ... It should also be noted that there is some debate surrounding this. Distractify argues that the reunion special was filmed in March, 2022." 

This is what Distractify says:

Since Season 2 of Love Is Blind was filmed in the spring/summer of 2021, with the reunion episode being filmed in February of 2022, and we know that Season 3 was filmed right after. We're assuming that the latter was filmed in late summer 2021, with the reunion episode being filmed sometime in March 2022.

They're just speculating.  They're not even right in speculating when this season was filmed. It was almost right on top of Season 2 with some possible overlap.  For instance, the Season 2 weddings were in early to mid June and the date on the Ketubah for Alexa and Brennan was June 30, 2021 which would be their wedding date.

[violet and green]

7 minutes ago, Irlandesa said:

Season 2 was filmed in the spring/summer of 2021.  They filmed the reunion in Feb. 2022. 

That's basically what I said. I think it was Natalie who made it specifically clear at that reunion that only two or three months had passed since the weddings. Nick has said that seasons 2 and 3 were "filmed at the same time". I was just postulating that there may have been a similar time frame between weddings and reunion. But I don't actually care. I'm just trying to process the horror of those last two episodes, somehow.

[Empress1]

7 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

So after he eats half her orange, he then asks her if she's going to have another one and to save her appetite.  Does anyone lose their appetite after eating small oranges in the middle of the afternoon hours before dinner? She's not his child.  She's an adult. 

She treated him like a kid constantly - really, I’m not sure they ever seemed like a pairing of equals. I land here: they were a fundamentally bad match and brought out bad things in each other. They should not have gotten married. Both are flawed and each hurt the other, but to me it seems like Zanab was intentionally hurting Cole, and Cole was more clueless. Like, Cole seems to me like he’ll be an okay guy once he grows up a bit, but I don’t think Zanab is a nice person. I’m surprised to find myself here; I liked Zanab in the beginning, but I like her less now.

Unrelated: Nancy messing up the phrase “smoke show” cracked me up. I think she said “smoke program.”

[DearEvette]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

Unrelated: Nancy messing up the phrase “smoke show” cracked me up. I think she said “smoke program.”

Also, Smoke House.  Like.. for meat.  LOL.

[Cramps]

It looks like Alexis has completely revised Brennan’s wardrobe. I didn’t love it. But really happy for them as a real and lasting couple! 
 

Really happy to see SK and Raven as a real-world, mature, healthy couple.

When these shows (this and MAFS) actually pull off a healthy and loving match, it’s really wonderful to watch.

Matt and Colleen are of concern. We’ve usually seen her as energetic and joyful. Matt seems to have drained all that out of her. 
 

Z and C— He was an insensitive child. But-Whatever hurt and damage she has experienced in her life, got channelled into her lashing out with vindictive cruelty. 

B & N. I’m just glad it’s over. 
 

Edited November 10, 2022 by Cramps

[Whimsy]

Just watched the reunion. That was rough towards Cole. I feel he’s immature, but ultimately he thought he was trying and I really don’t think he was ever purposely being cruel. That whole cuties scene- well actually every scene they showed- the tone that Zanab had was always nasty. She just has this tone that’s mean and scolding.  She shot down literally everything he said so dismissively. He was trying to be excited about seeing her family and every thing he said she was like “that doesn’t work, that doesn’t work”.  Cole definitely needs to learn to think before he speaks, or find someone who knows how to interpret what he’s saying through a Cole filter.  I think the wedding dress comment during that scene is a perfect example. To him, that’s what girls do. They lose weight to look good on their wedding day, so he assumed that’s what she was doing. I never got a tone or vibe from him that he was trying to control her weight. Like others have said, I think that was Zanab’s own issue and she projected it onto what he said. I honestly don’t know what to think about the story of Cole and the girl after the bachelor party, but I do remember thinking what an odd difference in parties they threw for the girls and guys. Seemed very lopsided.

I also really wish they would have focused at least a little on Matt’s anger issues. That was so uncomfortable and honestly scary to watch and for them to not ask one single question.

I like SK and Raven, which surprises me since I found them boring and mismatched throughout, but I think they were both more reserved and quiet during filming and they seem to compliment each other. 

[EdnasEdibles]

With Cole, I don't think he's evil. I don't think he's a villain at all but I do think he's a complete dumbass who has been able to coast on his looks for most of his life. He's cute enough and he seems like that spoiled kind of guy who just consistently acts like an idiot and people give him a pass because he's a golden retriever of a human. But I don't think he's completely innocent. The other ladies didn't like him and i don't think that's just because of what Zanab told them. And he didn't really have the other men jumping up to defend him either and they lived with him. That's telling to me. Again, I don't think he's mean but I do think he's thoughtless. 

I mean, he did do some really hurtful things on camera. He told Zanab that other people were hotter than her and she's not who he would date. He said some things that people perceived as racist "I'd dated a Lily in the past but not a Zanab" kind of stuff. Again, I don't think he was trying to be racist or even aware that what he was saying could possibly be perceived as racist. He's just kind of thoughtless. And the cuties thing. I don't think it's as mean as Zanab tried to indicate it was. But I also don't think it's as innocent as Cole says it is. That comment by itself is not a big deal. But we've already heard him compliment other women in front of her and make little comments here and there "Are you bipolar?" that are quite frankly just asshole things to say. Even with the cuties he was like "Oh is this a fitting into the wedding dress thing?" which is a dick thing to say! It's a dick thing to tell someone not to eat two tiny oranges because you're going to dinner later. It's a dick thing to ask if this is something that will help them fit into their wedding dress. Intention is important and I don't think Cole intended to be hurtful but I do think he absolutely was saying some shitty things. 

That being said, Zanab rehearsed all of that and unveiled it at the wedding like he was some sort of mustache twirling super villain out to manipulate her and ruin her life. When in all honestly he's just a dumbass frat boy type and she needs to work on her self esteem and they brought out the absolute worst in each other. 

Edited November 10, 2022 by EdnasEdibles

[NeenerNeener]

What EdnasEdibles said, right down to comparing Cole to a golden retriever. He's a big, dumb puppy who didn't realize that he was saying hurtful things, and over time she started to really resent it. Going HAM on him at the altar wasn't a good idea, though. I wonder if they're even allowed to call the whole thing off before the wedding, or if there's some incentive that keeps them trudging towards the altar even when they know they aren't going to say "I do".

[Empress1]

11 minutes ago, NeenerNeener said:

I wonder if they're even allowed to call the whole thing off before the wedding, or if there's some incentive that keeps them trudging towards the altar even when they know they aren't going to say "I do".

I don’t think there’s a financial incentive; I think it’s been revealed that they’re contractually obligated to get to the altar. I believe Nick and Vanessa said that publicly after the first season. So the incentive is “don’t get sued.” 

[deSchenke]

1 hour ago, Whimsy said:

I also really wish they would have focused at least a little on Matt’s anger issues. That was so uncomfortable and honestly scary to watch and for them to not ask one single question.

I think it was to protect Colleen. If you make Matt uncomfortable, she's the one he'll take it out on.

[Zuleikha]

He told Zanab that other people were hotter than her and she's not who he would date. He said some things that people perceived as racist "I'd dated a Lily in the past but not a Zanab" kind of stuff.

He didn't tell Zanab that out of the blue. She literally asked him to rate her and then followed it up with asking whether he thought any of the other women were 10/10s. Yes, he probably shouldn't have been honest. But Zanab shouldn't have asked! She's a grown woman. She should know better than to ask her fiance questions that she's not willing to hear an honest answer about. Heck, she should be more mature at 31 than to care about being the hottest woman in a room full of hot, beautiful people.

Pretty much everything else Cole ever said to her about appearance after that was either a direct compliment or trying to share his POV about why finding Colleen (AND Raven) prettier doesn't reflect on his love for her. The Zanab/Lily comment gets regularly misrepresented somehow as Cole saying he preferred white women, but he was just trying to reassure Zanab that he wasn't upset that she didn't look like his previous girlfriends because he wasn't expecting her to. (although personally, I think Zanab looks more white than non-white, so the whole racial element also mystifies me. I also find the Colleen is more his type weird since I think Zanab and Colleen genuinely look very similar, at least in makeup. I have had trouble identifying which woman is Zanab and which one is Colleen in some of the group photos.)

Zanab has also said many thoughtless and mean things to Cole. She had a momentary crack when she was confronted with the montage of her insulting him, but then went right back into her defensive victim mode. But everything she threw at him at the wedding applies to her, too. She insulted and belittled him in many of the scenes we saw.

[Fallacy]

I don’t believe Zanab’s story about what Cole supposedly said about the bachelor party. That cuties scene was very revealing, and I think the producers showed it to us to let us see how much Zanab blew that way, way, way out of proportion. 

SK and Raven are officially my favorites. Matt is still scary, and I don’t know what Colleen is doing. Alexa a bit of a snob, and she is too judgmental. 

[DearEvette]

I think ultimately for me, the reason why I am not up to villainizing  Cole 100% is because he is owning his shit.  I think both he and Zanab are at fault for what went wrong with them.  In retrospect they were so woefully mismatched.  But he is the only one taking his share of responsibility for it.

He has apologized over and over not just to Zanab but to Colleen, Matt and every other person.  He's admitted he was stupid, admitted he should have never said some of the things he said, or did some of the things he did.  He took responsibility.  And even when they showed the clip package of Zanab being critical of him he even defended her 'Oh it isn't as bad as it looks." 

Zanab, otoh, didn't do the same.  At the reunion she made a comment about the stuff with Colleen "kept coming up."  But didn't mention that she was the one who always brought it up first.  She made the comment about him wanting her to be sweet to him.  But conveniently left out the whole part before where he said "i just want my wife who laughs with me and builds me up and isn't pissed at every little thing that isn't ideal.   I guess I would expect my wife to like me a little bit."  He then goes on to tell her he she makes him feel inferior and she often puts him down with little things she says everyday.   She told him that he destroyed her self esteem even though she had admitted earlier in the show she had self esteem issues.   She just made everything seem to be his fault, with no inner reflection on how she was part of it.

I just hate when people won't admit their own responsibilities.   And she is right up there.

There is a youtube recapper who made a very interesting point.  When Nick asked them if knowing what they did now, with how everything turned out, would they do it again?   Cole flat out said no.  He would not if the result was hurting her like he did and he regrets it.

Meanwhile Zanab said even with the same out come she'd do it again.  The recapper pointed out.. that she claimed Cole had disrespected her, destroyed her self esteem, apparently food and body shamed her ... but she'd yet do it again?

For all that he has been an immature bro throughout, he is actually acting more mature than she is in the aftermath, imo.

[Zima]

Someone save Colleen! It looked like Matt was trying to smother her the entire time, and she looked terrified.

Idk what to make of the cuties scene. I think Cole just talks to much, and is insensitive at times, and Zenab is super sensitive and insecure. As others have stated, they are such a mismatch. Zenab is trying to create this whole narrative around her being the one and only victim in this scenario, and the internet is NOT having it. 

SK and Raven are adorable. 

[LuvMyShows]

So I have a different take on Cuties-gate.  I replayed the portion of the reunion where Zanab retells the Cuties episode.  She narrated that she got two Cuties, he asked if she's going to eat both of those, she said yeah it's a serving, and he said well we're going out to eat later so maybe you should save your appetite.  And Cole lost his mind, denying adamantly that it ever happened.  However, factually, every single thing that Zanab said was 100% accurate!  Cole's denial was not about the intention behind it, which Zanab may or may not be correct about.  His denial was purely about the conversation itself and he was very very very wrong.  I wonder if he was unable to separate Zanab's subjective interpretation of the conversation, which he obviously disagreed with, from the objective occurrence of the conversation, which definitely did occur as she said it did, and it made him unable to remember accurately the factual portion.

ETA: Also, Cole said words to the effect that he had never commented on her eating.  But I remembered a scene where he did, so I went back to look at it.  Near the beginning of episode 5, Cole and Zanab are having a picnic on the beach.  He says "You gotta stop fattening me up".  She replies "You're okay with fattening me up though?" And he says "You're fattening yourself up."  So clearly he has said things that he has no recollection of, so it's hard to know whether he meant anything by them or not.  I tend to think he did. 

However....all Zanab did was make her insecurity situation much worse.  During Cuties-gate, when she said she only had a banana and a scoop of peanut butter and he asked why, she said "I could definitely tell you but probably shouldn't".  And to me, that says it all.  She harbors these very significant insecurities, that his words seem to be making worse, and yet apparently she never shared it with Cole.  

Edited November 11, 2022 by LuvMyShows

[Zuleikha]

2 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

She narrated that she got two Cuties, he asked if she's going to eat both of those, she said yeah it's a serving, and he said well we're going out to eat later so maybe you should save your appetite.  And Cole lost his mind, denying adamantly that it ever happened. 

But the Cuties story was already being placed into a context of Cole body shaming her. It was the tangerine thing that proved that Cole got a good edit that left out the ways he was controlling her eating and leading her to restrict her eating. So I don't think it's that clear that Cole was denying that the factual events of Zanab eating two Cuties and him telling her to save her appetite had happened versus Cole meaning that it was ridiculous to use this incident as proof that he bodyshamed her to the point that she developed an eating disorder. 

I don't remember the "fattening up" incident, but it sounds like it could have been cute and playful rather than serious (at least, I doubt Cole in Malibu was seriously worried that Zanab was making him gain weight!). Zanab is also the one who makes it herself. 

We saw multiple scenes of them eating together, and Cole never seemed concerned with Zanab's weight or eating. He happily ate cheesecake with her in one scene! 

[Hpmec]

I am truly concerned that Colleen is going to end up as the victim on a Dateline special. There was no indication on the reunion episode that she is anything but frightened of Matt. Her body language said it all. Matt's meltdowns were huge red flags. She should have walked away after the first one. Instead, she went through with the wedding. Why? She's young, super attractive, and should have no problem attracting a quality guy who has no scary anger issues. I predict that at  at some point in the near future, she'll file  a restraining order followed by initating divorce proceedings. 

As for Cole and Zenab, they've both said their peace. Now it's time to get on with their lives away from the cameras. It was not a good idea for either of them to subject themselves to this show in the first place. Cole's too immature. He  probably did it as a lark and got in over his head. He and Zenab were a mismatch from the get go. It would have been interesting to see how a Cole/Colleen pairing would have worked out. 

Edited November 11, 2022 by Hpmec

[SummerDreams]

On 11/9/2022 at 10:26 PM, Neeners said:

I don't like Cole. He's immature.

Well this very reason makes me like him or at least having faith in him that he will get better and more mature in time.

[Goshengir1]

I am also worried about Colleen...the differences in the body language between the two married couples was so striking.  Alexa and Brennan were sitting close and touching, but also relaxed and comfortable. Matt was practically on top of Colleen, and had his body in such a way that he was blocking her from Cole, and I don't think she ever even glanced in the direction of the single men. She seemed rigid and terrified, despite her words that they were so happy. Matt to me is the embodiment of toxic masculinity, and she will be walking on eggshells around him for the duration.  I do wonder if the hosts didn't question him about their fights or show any clips to protect her.  I really wish she hadn't married him.

I don't get any toxic vibes from Cole, I think he's young and dumb and he and Zanab were not well suited for each other, at all. He definitely made stupid mistakes flirting with Colleen and telling Zanab that she rated 9/10, but I don't think he deserved the tongue lashing she gave him at the altar. I also felt that he was honestly thunderstruck when Zanab said he came home from the bachelor party with another girl's phone number.  It's hard to believe someone would just make a story up like that out of thin air, but I think after Malibu she was upset and wanted to play the victim and manipulated events to support that narrative.  She portrayed him as someone controlling what she ate and making her feel bad about her weight, and that the editors conveniently never showed that footage.  I found that hard to believe during the reunion, and the cuties footage backed up my opinion. Cole is like an overactive puppy and I can totally see how that would be annoying, but I didn't feel that any of his words or actions in that scene were controlling or abusive which is what her narrative of the story was. When he was crying on the couch I wanted to give him a hug because I felt that he was sincerely overwhelmed and distraught, and I never feel that way towards crying reality show people I find toxic (Big Ed on 90 Day finance, I'm looking at you). I also wonder how his family reacted to these events, I hope they were sympathetic and didn't just give him a big "we told you so" as they (rightly) felt this whole thing was a big mistake.

I think he will grow up and make a good husband for someone some day, but it has to be the right person.  I got out of a really bad, toxic relationship with a narcissist 8 years ago, and a year later met my now husband.  He was 46 and had never been married or even had a long term relationship with anyone before me, and when people questioned that as a red flag I said he was just waiting for me. I think the secret to a good relationship is finding the right person. We watch this show together and just feel so very, very lucky.

Edited November 11, 2022 by Goshengir1

[SummerDreams]

Even when Zay says "I forgive you", the vibes she sends are "I want to see you dead you SOB".

[bourbon]

I kept waiting for Colleen to blink out "help me" in Morse code she looked so much like she was in a hostage video. 

Matt sent up giant red flags when he sat there eating his steak while Colleen sobbed in the other room. And then he lost it on camera with the producer. I can kind of understand why Colleen stayed in after they talked about it and explained his trust issues due to his first wife. But when he brought it up AGAIN? She should have run not walked away from him then because he will NEVER let her forget it. He will ALWAYS have trust issues and blame it on her conversation with Cole or some other jacked up thing, and she will NEVER know a day's peace b/c she will have to walk on eggshells around her husband as long as they are married. Which is not long, I hope, and please please let them not have the first Love is Blind baby.

I'm ambivalent about shows like this. This reminds me of Ryan DeNino and Jessica from MAFS S2. Those couplings are usually a delicious train wreck, but the dude was straight up abusive. She married him anyway, and the show never stepped in, in fact the "experts" chided HER for not trying harder. Sometimes production needs to step in, and I think they should be seriously checking up on Colleen on the reg.  

[snarts]

The biggest reason I fear for Colleen's safety is seeing how she's dimmed her light in such a short period of time. Think back to the first episodes, she had a huge personality, always gesturing, often laughing. She seemed so happy and excited about the whole process.

Flash forward to the reunion, she was eerily subdued and quiet. It's like she wanted to be invisible. I hated to see it. I hope her friends & family are nearby & paying attention. Why did they give Matt such a pass on his controlling behavior?

Zanab lost me completely. She was incredibly mean and vindictive and continues to be so defending herself on social media. I get standing up for your friends but I lost respect for Nancy and Alexa when they co-sign everything she says despite now seeing the unreliableness of the her narrative and how she in turn treated him. 

Bartise just looked silly.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Ray Romano also played a character who wore a fake man bun on "Kevin Can Wait"