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S03.E09: The Last Supper


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Ok, I feel like I'm going to get roasted for this but I kind of saw Cole's point. He's super immature but she was really, really hard on him in the kitchen.  I can see how she picks apart everything he does. Even if they're all valid things, it would be exhausting to hear that stuff non stop.

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That conversation between Matt and Colleen was again uncomfortable.  She's giving him a pass and they're both talking as if he pulled back after they got back to Dallas.  As if not expressing emotion is Matt's issue instead of expressing way too much emotion. 

I did like their last date and the one with Alexa and Brennan the most.

22 minutes ago, ally8620000 said:

He's super immature but she was really, really hard on him in the kitchen.  I can see how she picks apart everything he does. Even if they're all valid things, it would be exhausting to hear that stuff non stop.

I think he was wrong in the beginning with his Colleen, Colleen and Colleen stuff.  And in a way, she checked out.  But she also did say she was passive aggressive and maybe this was always what would have happened.  She strikes me as someone who has an idea of what an adult looks like.  And when she feels like Cole doesn't live up to that vision--like not knowing that white wine needs to go in a glass with a stem--she gets condescending.  She doesn't ask him to do things straight out.  Or at least, that's what I thought until the end of the conversation.

"Be sweet.  Be unassuming.  Are you bipolar?" Oh holy heck. 

Edited by Irlandesa
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6 hours ago, ally8620000 said:

Ok, I feel like I'm going to get roasted for this but I kind of saw Cole's point. He's super immature but she was really, really hard on him in the kitchen.  I can see how she picks apart everything he does. Even if they're all valid things, it would be exhausting to hear that stuff non stop.

I totally agree with this! If someone says they're going to cook for you, BUTT OUT! But then she probably would have criticized the food.

I find them both exhausting, and a total mismatch. 

I hope Colleen says "I do not". 

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Zanab is super controlling. I don't think the way Cole handled it was the best but he TOTALLY had a point. We saw it in one scene but I can imagine that's a lot of what their time is like...her hovering over him and micromanaging and criticizing. I had a friend who was like that with her husband and I hated watching it. Zanab seems to have very high standards and a very specific way everything should be done. She seems unflexible. 

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I understand what Cole was trying to say. He should have worded things differently but I understand what he was trying to say. Zanab is a control freak and she comes across so annoyed all the time with Cole. Colleen run! I don't like Matt and he truly scares me. 

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14 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

think he was wrong in the beginning with his Colleen, Colleen and Colleen stuff.  And in a way, she checked out.  But she also did say she was passive aggressive and maybe this was always what would have happened.  She strikes me as someone who has an idea of what an adult looks like.  And when she feels like Cole doesn't live up to that vision--like not knowing that white wine needs to go in a glass with a stem--she gets condescending.  She doesn't ask him to do things straight out.  Or at least, that's what I thought until the end of the conversation.

"Be sweet.  Be unassuming.  Are you bipolar?" Oh holy heck. 

Oh 100%. I do think Zanab deserves so much better and I made that comment before the bipolar comment. I think he's ridiculous and they are a horrible match. I just did feel for Cole the way he she was constantly say something. I've been close to people like that and it's really hard to listen to constantly. That's not to say she isn't right about some stuff but the way she was nitpicking the way he turned the chicken and stuff, that's a lot.

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16 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

"Be sweet.  Be unassuming.  Are you bipolar?" Oh holy heck. 

Yes she nitpicked and over-controlled.  And since he has felt that way for awhile, maybe he could have said something to her about how it makes him feel, and then said that since she may not be aware of it, he would like her to be open to letting him point it out when it occurs.  (I know that if my SO felt that way about me, and I wasn't aware of it, then I would proactively ask for him to point it out when it occurs.)  However, sweet Jesus, he lost every good thing I had ever thought about him with those words.

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10 hours ago, Zima said:

If someone says they're going to cook for you, BUTT OUT! But then she probably would have criticized the food.

It was a sweet gesture on his part, but in Cole fashion it was kind of half-assed.  He didn't even know what vegetables she liked or didn't like, and if the point of cooking the meal is to genuinely do something for someone else, then you find that stuff out ahead of time.  Judging from looking at his apartment, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who has done much cooking on his own, nor does it seem like he has done much cooking with her, or even observed her cooking to pick up tips/ideas.  So maybe he should have made it more of a learning experience, where he tells her what he wants to do for her, but acknowledges that he's a novice, and then enlists her as advisor.  I would be very flattered to know that someone cared enough to want to learn what I like and how I like it, and wanted to improve.  I mean, dude apparently didn't put any seasoning on the chicken at all, and it's a little odd to make full servings of both broccoli and brussels sprouts. It could have been romantic, and instead it was actually more about Cole than Zanab.

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5 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

I mean, dude apparently didn't put any seasoning on the chicken at all, and it's a little odd to make full servings of both broccoli and brussels sprouts.

And also sweet potatoes that would be done at a different time as the chicken.  Personally, I eat my chicken pretty plain.  I don't like cooking it in a frying pan because I think getting it done well in the inside without destroying it on the outside is something I haven't mastered. And I will absolutely eat vegetables at a different time than my main protein because I can't be bothered to think about what might take longer.

But that's when I'm just cooking for myself.  If I cook for other people, I put in more of an effort to coordinate because most people don't want to eat their steamed broccoli, then the chicken when it gets done and the sweet potato fries 45 minutes later.

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5 minutes ago, Irlandesa said:

And also sweet potatoes that would be done at a different time as the chicken....But that's when I'm just cooking for myself.  If I cook for other people, I put in more of an effort to coordinate because most people don't want to eat their steamed broccoli, then the chicken when it gets done and the sweet potato fries 45 minutes later.

Oh I forgot about that!  Yeah, he said something like we can eat the sweet potato fries after the meal, that's how I always do it.  But dude, this is supposedly for someone else...maybe they want to do something like, uh, eat the meal all at one time! 

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Both Zanab & Cole are decent people. However, Zanab is a bit critical and Cole is sensitive. I could see both of their sides. Bottom line, he was trying to cook dinner, she questioned/criticized a bit, he got defensive and then snapped at her. It s a pattern they'll continue to repeat. They are not a match.

Bartise is just not feeling Nancy. I think he realized how he was coming across (like Shake) and tried to fake it until the end to avoid backlash. Not sure why he thinks he's such a catch. Nancy is my favorite and it saddens me how hurt she'll be from this. 

I wish Colleen would heed the warnings signs that Matt's flashing. I predict that relationship will not end well.

I kinda feel bad for the families that are dragged though this. I wonder if the show pays for out of town family members to fly in?  Or maybe that's why so many are not opting out of attending. 

I also wish they'd show/tell a little bit more about their daily lives & occupations. I feel like I don't know what half of them do for a living and we're already to the weddings.

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Matt showed flash of "Scary Matt" at that Aquarium dinner.

Colleen was trying to explain herself, and Matt just kept saying, "Say it.  Say IT.  SAY IT COLLEEN!!!", until she finally said, "No".

I swear, if there weren't camera crews around, I'd have been scared for her.

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Cole and Zanaib are just a horrible match.  I'm sure Z is a good person and all but I would find it horrible to be around.  A lot of people would happily pick being single forever than being around that, I'm sorry.  One mother is more than enough for some of us.....

I kept waiting for Zanaib to say that she IS bipolar.  She never answered the question.  I'm still waiting to hear it LOL

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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On 11/3/2022 at 12:08 PM, ellenr33 said:

Zanab is a control freak and she comes across so annoyed all the time with Cole.

When Cole said he wanted his wife to like him more, I got what he was saying - and if my guy told me he thought I didn’t like him, I would be horrified and apologetic. Zanab was defensive. “I am EXTREMELY SWEET.” Ma’am. She is condescending.

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This episode was like the calm before the storm. It started out so nice all the dates were nice, everybody was all in love and then...  it took a turn.

On 11/3/2022 at 4:26 PM, Starlight925 said:

Matt showed flash of "Scary Matt" at that Aquarium dinner.

Colleen was trying to explain herself, and Matt just kept saying, "Say it.  Say IT.  SAY IT COLLEEN!!!", until she finally said, "No".

I swear, if there weren't camera crews around, I'd have been scared for her.

Yeah,  I swear to God, the way they filmed Matt under those aquarium lights when he was doing the "Say, it. Say IT...SAY IT." he just looked sooo sinister.  Like a demented Lance Bass.   I mean it was truly like a scene out of a Lifetime movie where the audience sees the husband's true colors. 

I thought Colleen's parent were so darned cute.  I wonder how they'll feel when they see this back? 

On 11/2/2022 at 10:19 PM, Irlandesa said:

I think he was wrong in the beginning with his Colleen, Colleen and Colleen stuff.  And in a way, she checked out.  But she also did say she was passive aggressive and maybe this was always what would have happened.  She strikes me as someone who has an idea of what an adult looks like.  And when she feels like Cole doesn't live up to that vision--like not knowing that white wine needs to go in a glass with a stem--she gets condescending.  She doesn't ask him to do things straight out.  Or at least, that's what I thought until the end of the conversation.

"Be sweet.  Be unassuming.  Are you bipolar?" Oh holy heck. 

See, I think the Colleen stuff was a bit exaggerated.  I do think we (the audience) got a lot of it because he did quite a few talking heads about it and we got to witness the conversations.  But IIRC, in his conversations with Zanab he never initiated any convos about Colleen.  Zanab always did. 

There is so much to unpack with Cole and Zanab and as much as I want to lay it on Cole because he is a just a big lunk head, I can't because Zanab does come off as a bit of a powder keg.   Unlike Bartise who I think is a straight up villain, Cole I think his heart is in the right place.  The last two episodes he has been doing his mighty best to hype Zanab up.  He keeps calling her beautiful, he keeps verbally affirming her.  I really thought they were turning a corner until the dinner convo.

I did a re-watch of the bar scene where Matt and Zanab compared notes and got each other riled up over the non-existent Colleen/Cole love affair.  And the progression of Zanab and  Cole's argument  in that scene was a lot like this one.  Cole comes off as befuddled and Zanab goes on the offensive immediately.  He doesn't have the verbal dexterity to argue with her.  So at some point he realizes this and he starts to get really, really defensive.  So he devolves into what feels like playground taunts. At one point during the argument in that episode after she keeps harping on Colleen and he is trying to reassure her that he loves her and is attracted to her, he finally says "Zay, I am sorry this whole thing happened." to which she sarcastically responds 'Yeah, I don't think you are, but that is fine."  And then she says 'I am on team Matt with this whole thing."  To which he says something so monumentally childish like, "Well you should go be with Matt then." 

This argument felt the same with him trying to ask her to be nice to him and he just wants her to like him and she seems to get impatient with him. That is when Cole retreats into childish defensiveness with the "are you bipolar" thing.

It almost feels like she is hurting him and he doesn't know any other way than t try to hurt her back but does it rather stupidly.

Alexa and Brennon seem to be the only unreservedly ride or die couple without any creeping issues... so far.  I did like her grandfather asking Siri how to be Jewish.  LOL.

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Zany should turn the tables  on Coal and not clean the house, towels on the floor, nerf  balls in the  frying pan, musing on how Billy Bob is her ideal physical type but she over looks Coal's less than ideal looks because of the emotional connection she'd made with him. I wonder how  he would like that.  There are  times he acts  like  my unruly 5 year  old nephew.

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2 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Can someone explain to me how Zanab putting dirty towels in the bathtub is better? Do they not have a hamper? 

I wondered the same.  I mean, I guess damp towels might be hard on the floor over time?  And at least the dirty towels in the tub are out of sight (depending on the tub)?  But then, somebody eventually is going to need the shower, and has to fish damp dirty towels out first?  Ewww.

When I'm in a hotel, I always put all damp towels in the shower when I leave, so it's easier for housekeeping.  Since Zanab travels so much, I wonder if that's where she picked up the habit?  But at home, it's super weird.  Hamper, or better yet, on a towel rack to dry so they don't get all mildewed.

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33 minutes ago, Jane Tuesday said:

But then, somebody eventually is going to need the shower, and has to fish damp dirty towels out first?

Right - this is what I don’t get. I assume they shower daily, so the next day someone takes the dirty towels out of the tub and puts them where? This feels over-complicated to me. Shower, dry off, hang the towel on the towel rack. When it’s time to wash, they go in the hamper or straight in the washer. Zanab was acting like putting them in the tub was superior to leaving them on the floor and to me it isn’t. If you’re going to pick them up off the floor, you might as well put them in the hamper or hang them up. Like, if they’re in the tub they’re still not where they belong, you know?

Switching gears, nobody came out and said it but all the women think Cole’s parents don’t want to meet Zanab because they’re racist. Raven in particular was clearly thinking it, and very close to angrily saying it. That’s what “I’m not the kind of woman they seem him with” means. They’ll meet her if they get married because they kind of have no choice, but they’re not into it. As a woman of color, I would think VERY hard and have a lot of tough conversations with my white fiancé before I married into that. Zanab is annoying but she’s right when she says her hypothetical kids will have to deal with that forever.

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1 hour ago, DearEvette said:

Alexa and Brennon seem to be the only unreservedly ride or die couple without any creeping issues... so far.  I did like her grandfather asking Siri how to be Jewish.  LOL.

Yeah.  I can't recall a couple with fewer issues than these two in the LIB universe--US or international versions.  Even Lauren was panicking about actually going through with the wedding because it seemed so improbable for her.  Her "I'm at 64%" even felt like a stretch to try to inject some suspense. 

Perhaps Kenny and Kelly were the only other couple where I can't recall any major issues and they ended up saying "no" at the altar.  But honestly, I can't recall much about Kenny and Kelly so maybe they did have issues.

35 minutes ago, Jane Tuesday said:

When I'm in a hotel, I always put all damp towels in the shower when I leave, so it's easier for housekeeping.  Since Zanab travels so much, I wonder if that's where she picked up the habit?  But at home, it's super weird.  Hamper, or better yet, on a towel rack to dry so they don't get all mildewed.

Something about where they're staying strikes me as an "extended stay" hotel with a full kitchen.  And that makes me wonder if they have a cleaning service which would explain the towels in the tub choice.

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On 11/3/2022 at 4:15 PM, snarts said:

I kinda feel bad for the families that are dragged though this. I wonder if the show pays for out of town family members to fly in?  Or maybe that's why so many are not opting out of attending. 

  Good question.

On 11/3/2022 at 4:15 PM, snarts said:

I also wish they'd show/tell a little bit more about their daily lives & occupations. I feel like I don't know what half of them do for a living and we're already to the weddings.

I agree.  I think TPTB just don't understand that a lot of us would like more than just constant drama...we'd like to actually get to know the people that we're supposed to be invested in.

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8 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Switching gears, nobody came out and said it but all the women think Cole’s parents don’t want to meet Zanab because they’re racist. Raven in particular was clearly thinking it, and very close to angrily saying it. That’s what “I’m not the kind of woman they seem him with” means. They’ll meet her if they get married because they kind of have no choice, but they’re not into it.

Alternatively, they could just not be into being on camera on a stupid reality tv show, where people marry semi-strangers!

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I truly wonder if the Cole defenders here are watching the same show as the rest of us. The man had flies in his toilet.

For four week, Zanab has taken care of him. He says he will make her a meal as a romantic gesture, so what steps does he take? Does he learn her food dislikes and avoid them? Does he learn a tasty recipe? Does he start foods cooking so they will finish at the same time in order to be served in one meal? Does he cut his own potatoes? No, no, no, no.

She walks in the door and he immediately needs her help, so she can’t sit an relax while he makes her a romantic meal. Instead HE has gotten her involved in the cooking. She did not volunteer. She did not ask to be in the kitchen while he did it. He is the reason she was there at all. 

Men like Cole use weaponized incompetence as a tactic. Just like when he repeatedly asked if she had a mental illness, he is manipulating her.

A small child could have made a better dinner. Just like a small child would know not to throw their towel on the floor or table. 

The bar for the men on this show is set so low for some of you to consider their actions commendable, it would be hilarious if it were not so heartbreaking.

If Zanab had flies in her toilet, if Zanab cooked one meal for him in four weeks, if Zanab served wine in the wrong glass, if Zanab said another man was better looking than him, not a single one of you would hesitate to call her out. Cole is a manipulative man child and any adult having to live with him would be sick of his bs and irritated.

The only thing Zanab has done wrong is that she didn’t walk out and never look back the first morning in Malibu when his true colors came out. 

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5 hours ago, violet and green said:

Alternatively, they could just not be into being on camera on a stupid reality tv show, where people marry semi-strangers!

They apparently said she wasn’t the type of woman they saw him with, so I think it’s deeper than that. 

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8 hours ago, Empress1 said:

They apparently said she wasn’t the type of woman they saw him with, so I think it’s deeper than that. 

But that could mean they had always seen him with a woman from their church; or that they had always seen him with a woman who he would get to know out in the community - not someone like his previous wife who he married in haste - rather than someone he had known in the flesh for two weeks and met him on a tv show.

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On 11/5/2022 at 2:09 AM, oldCJ said:

For four week, Zanab has taken care of him.

We have seen nothing that indicates this. We have seen that Zanab wants Cole to behave in a certain way. We have seen nothing that suggests Cole values this or needs Zanab to manage their domestic life in any particular fashion.

We have also seen Zanab be a wet blanket and nitpick and nag at Cole going all the way back to their vacation in Malibu. I don't think Cole letting Zanab know he found Colleen more physically attractive--albeit less interesting in terms of personality--is so much worse than Zanab making Cole unsure if Zanab even likes him as a person!

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Well we saw his apartment on the return,I sincerely doubt he's changed much in that regard,yet he wants accolades for making the bed.  Z should get a dog much easier to train. I can't think too many women want to be the maid, laundress, cook et al n the relationship especially while also bringing home half the bacon. A pat on the head and praise is for your child when teaching them their chores not a grown man!

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I think Zanab’s personality is too harsh and she has a snobby way about her . I thought Cole was terrible to her in the beginning with the Colleen stuff and I get why that made her more cold toward him as time went on . That being said , I think he’s been much better to her as time went on and I think she’s been the one who’s ruining the relationship at this point . She needs to lighten up and if she can’t because that’s just not her personality , then this guy isn’t for you . 

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I once dated someone JUST like Cole. It's like watching that person on screen. My ex had bi-polar as he later turned out telling me. He lived JUST LIKE Cole. Sloppy & chaotic dwelling. Acted the same way which I found abusive towards me.  We casually dated (not that serious really) & his mother got me alone once & says "oh how's he been doing lately? Yeah I know he's got his issues but love is love." I was like ohhh yikes, red flag. We weren't even saying "love." Very weird time in my life.  He needed meds & wasn't on any because no job, no insurance,  etc. But I understand and stand with Zanab. She tried to have a tough handle on him but she was shattered and trying to preserve herself.

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There are many ways in which Cole is a shitty partner, but their problems aren't all on him. Zainab is horrendous at communication. She's extremely passive-aggressive, she's filled with contempt for Cole, and she gives incredibly mixed signals. If I were Cole, I would be extremely confused too.

I also think she misrepresented her real personality in the pods. Cole clearly wants to be with someone who's bubbly and spontaneous, and that's how she came across in the pods. But that doesn't appear to be her personality at all.

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Wowww. After seeing so much sabotage from Zan all season, I'm shocked Cole did the sabotaging with the end of that convo. Like he wanted her to say she didn't want to marry him & since she didn't, he kept at it until she did. I can see where she should act chill, but he should've nipped the nagging in the bud long ago. Just like she should've corrected the towel on the floor weeks prior. Neither of them know how to encourage to get what they want. So stupid. 😒😒

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On 11/5/2022 at 5:09 AM, oldCJ said:

I truly wonder if the Cole defenders here are watching the same show as the rest of us. The man had flies in his toilet.

For four week, Zanab has taken care of him. He says he will make her a meal as a romantic gesture, so what steps does he take? Does he learn her food dislikes and avoid them? Does he learn a tasty recipe? Does he start foods cooking so they will finish at the same time in order to be served in one meal? Does he cut his own potatoes? No, no, no, no.

She walks in the door and he immediately needs her help, so she can’t sit an relax while he makes her a romantic meal. Instead HE has gotten her involved in the cooking. She did not volunteer. She did not ask to be in the kitchen while he did it. He is the reason she was there at all. 

Men like Cole use weaponized incompetence as a tactic. Just like when he repeatedly asked if she had a mental illness, he is manipulating her.

A small child could have made a better dinner. Just like a small child would know not to throw their towel on the floor or table. 

The bar for the men on this show is set so low for some of you to consider their actions commendable, it would be hilarious if it were not so heartbreaking.

If Zanab had flies in her toilet, if Zanab cooked one meal for him in four weeks, if Zanab served wine in the wrong glass, if Zanab said another man was better looking than him, not a single one of you would hesitate to call her out. Cole is a manipulative man child and any adult having to live with him would be sick of his bs and irritated.

The only thing Zanab has done wrong is that she didn’t walk out and never look back the first morning in Malibu when his true colors came out. 

After the “ youre fattenibg yourself up” comment i would have been out of there. Hes a jerk.

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Oooohhhh, I too would see Cole defenders reactions to a female version of him.  His asking her if she was bipolar irked me.  Bipolar illness is not a joke.  If any one was mentally ill is a crying crocodile tears when you've done everything possible to drive a bride running for the hills.

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zanab seems to be in a perpetual scowling crabby mood. I would not care for her as a flight attendant, unless she really puts it on at work.I do feel for her having lost her parents.

On 11/5/2022 at 5:09 AM, oldCJ said:

I truly wonder if the Cole defenders here are watching the same show as the rest of us. The man had flies in his toilet.

For four week, Zanab has taken care of him. He says he will make her a meal as a romantic gesture, so what steps does he take? Does he learn her food dislikes and avoid them? Does he learn a tasty recipe? Does he start foods cooking so they will finish at the same time in order to be served in one meal? Does he cut his own potatoes? No, no, no, no.

She walks in the door and he immediately needs her help, so she can’t sit an relax while he makes her a romantic meal. Instead HE has gotten her involved in the cooking. She did not volunteer. She did not ask to be in the kitchen while he did it. He is the reason she was there at all. 

Men like Cole use weaponized incompetence as a tactic. Just like when he repeatedly asked if she had a mental illness, he is manipulating her.

A small child could have made a better dinner. Just like a small child would know not to throw their towel on the floor or table. 

The bar for the men on this show is set so low for some of you to consider their actions commendable, it would be hilarious if it were not so heartbreaking.

If Zanab had flies in her toilet, if Zanab cooked one meal for him in four weeks, if Zanab served wine in the wrong glass, if Zanab said another man was better looking than him, not a single one of you would hesitate to call her out. Cole is a manipulative man child and any adult having to live with him would be sick of his bs and irritated.

The only thing Zanab has done wrong is that she didn’t walk out and never look back the first morning in Malibu when his true colors came out. 

I saw that she walked in and yes he asked her to cut vegetables but she started criticizing everything. I dislike them together so much.cant defend either

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The "are you bipolar?" comment was inappropriate, but I don't think Cole was saying it to manipulate or mock her.

I think he was genuinely perplexed by her switching back and forth between mooning over him and displaying contempt for him, and was expressing his frustration about it. He definitely went about it the wrong way, but I get where he was coming from.

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I'm not sure how to adjudicate the "you can't book"/"are you bi-polar" dispute but clearly these two should not get married.  Even if they were not fighting there is too much baggage there.  On Cole's side I would want to meet the parents (no not the movie).  I think that he is trying but he has no real sense of how what he does effects others and I wonder where that comes from.  But Zanab is just as bad.  She lost me at the picking out the dress episode.  There, instead of joining in the festivities and enjoying the fact that her step-mother (or aunt I was never sure) was there for her as she has been for years, it became about her mother not being there.  I get that.  But that can't be the only thing and she often reverts to the default depressed mode. and then she is upset. 

So he has little emotional sensitivity and she has little capacity to let go of things.  It's the Titanic waiting to happen. 

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On 11/2/2022 at 8:59 PM, ally8620000 said:

Ok, I feel like I'm going to get roasted for this but I kind of saw Cole's point. He's super immature but she was really, really hard on him in the kitchen.  I can see how she picks apart everything he does. Even if they're all valid things, it would be exhausting to hear that stuff non stop.

I’ve been on Cole’s side of this argument for a long time. He is way better about her her constant criticism than I would be.

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